Meet Me in Montana
by partners621
Summary: Fate intervenes and forces Jamie and Eddie to go their separate ways, but when they have a chance meeting at a conference in Montana, they are surprised at where it leads.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Eddie dragged her suitcase behind her as she approached the location of the leadership symposium she had been elected to attend by her precinct. There would be officers from all over the nation at this conference, there would be many opportunities for her to make new contacts and new friends. That had been the hardest part about leaving the NYPD…well, maybe not the hardest part.

Still, Jamie had moved on, now she had to do that same. Thomas was a wonderful man, he cared for her…He texted her almost the second her plane landed. He must have tracked the flight online to see that it was on the ground. It made her smile.

Eddie text back the she was safe and the sky was a big and beautiful as the brochures promised. As Eddie walked into the chateau that would house the members of the conference, she was taken back by its beauty. There were wood fire places, gorgeous masonry, and oak wood desks, tables, and furniture. A sign indicated that she would register on line A-J…she headed to that area and stood still.

The lines were long, but the people handing the check-in were polite and efficient. She tossed her long blonde main off her neck when it was her turn and smiled, "Janko," she told the clerk. "Manhasset, New York."

The clerk checked her in and handed her the room key. "You're in building ten, room 416. That is this building, the elevator is down the hall and your room will be to the right."

Eddie smiled her thanks and started off towards the elevator bank. She passed the K-Q line and finally the R-Z, the longest line. As she walked she got a whiff of after shave, a soft scent, clean, but ruggedly masculine…she only knew one man that wore that particular brand in her life, though she supposed here there were plenty of them.

Eddie couldn't help herself though, she turned her head toward the line labeled R-Z. She nearly fell over. This was her crappy luck, it really was. There, fourth from the front of his line, was Jamie Reagan, no doubt representing his family and the NYPD.

Eddie remembered the day they ended their four year partnership like it was yesterday. She never felt such pain in her heart than she did the day Jamie sat in front of her at O'Keefe's. Eddie thought he was about to suggest they finally make the switch. He was dressed nicely in khaki slacks and a blue shirt wearing the same aftershave she just smelled only a few minutes ago. He let her order, and he didn't make fun of her girly drink. When they had finished, Jamie took her hands into his, his skin so warm and soft, but not too soft. Eddie saw his chest heave as she took a breath then, "Eddie, I'm getting married next month."

Eddie felt like she had been punched in the gut. She stared, mouth agape at Jamie for a solid minute before stuttering an attempt at congratulations. She read the whole thing wrong, the kiss, his feelings, the dance, all of it…Jamie was still speaking. "It's something I have to do. During that time we were apart, and we were trying so hard not to cross the line, I went out and I got drunk with some of the guys. I was stupid and…I got her pregnant Eddie, I made a fellow officer pregnant and I have to do that right thing."

Eddie had protested with him, nowadays the right thing was child support and coaching Little League, he didn't have to marry her, he must have wanted to. Eddie couldn't hide the tears for long, she got up quickly. "I'm glad you can do the right thing by her, Jamie. You sure as Hell couldn't do the right thing by me."

Those were the last words they spoke to each other, Eddie resigned her position with the NYPD effectively immediately and with Renzulli's help secured a positon in Nassau county as an SVU detective. That was three months ago, Jamie's baby was due in a few months, yet he was here…That was puzzling.

Eddie turned and headed to her room, there were hundreds, maybe thousands of cops here, what were the odds they would see each other even from afar? A million to one…

Eddie thought that Jamie missed her, she had no way of knowing that he had gotten a manifest and knew she would be there representing the SVU for Nassau County. That was one of the reasons he agreed to be a speak at this conference that and he needed a break.

The last three months had been like a nightmare for him. Claudia had a rough pregnancy so far, emotionally, and the tension had been overpowering. When Claudia told him she was pregnant, Jamie couldn't believe it, but a couple of hours spent with the math told him it was entirely possible. A CVS test pretty much cinched the deal, he was going to be a father and he had to do the right thing by this woman. Jamie had agonized over it, but in the end he heard his mother's voice, telling him about responsibility, duty, God…Jamie had no choice.

After Eddie left the bar that night, Jamie doubled over in pain. He wanted to explore their relationship, but more than that, he wanted to keep the deep friendship they had made. Jamie knew it was totally unrealistic to do that, and totally unfair as well. The heart wanted what it wanted…

Eddie disappeared down the hallway, her room was in this building. So was his. Jamie had called, texted, and emailed for almost three weeks after Eddie left the bar that night. All had gone unanswered. Jamie didn't want to leave things the way he did in that bar. It hurt, it physically hurt to be away from Eddie.

Eddie felt eyes on her, how could he have seen her already? How would he even know to look? Eddie ducked into her room quickly and double bolted the door. She did NOT want to see Jamie. It hurt too much, way too much.

Eddie's phone rang, it was Tom. She picked up and smiled, "Hey, handsome, how are you?"

"Missing you, I'm glad you got there okay," Tom replied. "You forgot your scarf and it's cold there even in the spring so I sent it overnight."

"You are too good to me," Eddie sighed. She had just had a bad cold and still have the cough to go with it.

"Nothing is too good for my girl," Tom replied. "When you get home, I want to go to Café Bacci for capellini cakes and veal parmigiana. Something to look forward to, right?"

"Right," Eddie replied. The pair talked a few more minutes, "Well the first speaker is coming up in about a half hour and I have to get the lay of the land. I'll call you before bed, okay?"

"Okay," Tom replied. "I love you."

"Me too," Eddie replied and hung up the phone.

Jamie had his eyes peeled for Eddie at the beginning of the convention. He stood near the back door…Eddie saw him as she approached and turned to head in through the outside French doors. Jamie sighed, if she was trying to avoid him she couldn't do a better job at it. He'd have to be more discreet if he wanted to get a word with his old friend and partner.

Jamie took a seat in the back near the juice, coffee, and cookies. If he knew Eddie she's be back here for a snack. From a distance though she looked amazing. She lost a few pounds, her hair was as glossy and silky as ever, but her face…there was something about it.

The speaker called the event to order, this one was on "Giving the Power Back" It was on the art of questioning sexual assault victims. Sadly, that was something not enough cops knew how to do. This talk was being given by Former Rye Beach Commissioner Tony Schembri, Eddie idolized him.

Eddie watched the speaker and diligently took notes. Jamie watched Eddie. He had to find a way to talk to her, to see she was okay…to let her see that he was not. It was easy to fool Danny, Erin, his Dad, but Eddie she'd see right through it all, she always did.

Jamie expected Eddie to hang back and try to talk to Commissioner Schembri, so as the talk wound down he darted to the center to get a hold of her as she went to pass him. Eddie outsmarted him again, she went out the side door before Jamie had a chance to catch up.

That went on for the rest of that first day and into the second. It was like Eddie has eyes in the back of her head, she was avoiding him, Jamie was certain. Jamie began to check into area bars and restaurants with a happy hour or wings. He could maybe catch her going there. He didn't expect to finally see her coming back from the steam room, the hallway to her room had no escape, finally she was in his grasp.

Eddie felt Jamie's eyes close in on her, she darted sideways trying to get away…Jamie went around the other side, that supply closet she was going to hide in had two doors.

Eddie gasped when she sensed Jamie in the closet with her. At first the silence was deafening. Everything that Jamie wanted to say left his head. He was overcome with the urge to hold her. She looked so cute, hair a little frizzy, face a touch pink…Jamie found his voice first. "Finally, it's been almost three days," Jamie replied. "You're really good at avoiding me."

"Apparently not good enough," Eddie replied. "What are you doing here? This is not your show, Reagan. You aren't a conference kind of guy."

"Well, I am now," Jamie replied. "I…needed a break and I saw you were…I saw you were going to be…You never called me back, you never answered my texts…"

"Why would I?" Eddie asked. "You are a married man with a baby on the way, why would I engage you?"

"Because we're best friends," Jamie replied quickly, his hand going to hold Eddie's arms so she couldn't escape.

"Wrong, Reagan," Eddie almost hissed, all of her anger coming up. "We were best friends."

Jamie sucked in a long breath, "Eddie…can we just talk it out? Please, let's talk it out."

"What is there to talk about? You did get married, I can feel your ring! Is she still having a baby?"

"Yes," Jamie replied. "Claudia is having a baby, but Eddie…"

"Then, honey, we are where we are," Eddie replied. 'Please let me go."

"Can I see you again?" Jamie asked as he let her arms go. "Before we go, meet me for breakfast tomorrow."

Eddie took a breath, "Jamie, we are here for four more days, and I am going to try not to see you in that time. I can't see you, you have to understand. It's just too hard."

Eddie pulled back and turned on her heel leaving Jamie standing in the closet, staring after her.

Jamie's cell phone began to ring, Claudia's ring tone. Jamie picked up the phone, "Hey…"

"You didn't call me back," she accused sharply. "It's your fault I'm here sick with kid. You could at least call me back."

Jamie sighed. First it was accusations, then insults, it was Hell on earth. Pure Hell.

 **A/N -Thanks to all my regular readers, followers, and guests that have come to check out this story's debut. You make it such a rewarding experience to share stories and ideas in a public forum. Through this hobby, I met my good friend and now co-author NancyReviews. We have put a lot of time into making this story something we hope everyone enjoys.**

 **Following this chapter, the rating of the story will change to M. Please make sure to favorite and follow so you will get the alerts. For guests users without an account, we'll update every Wednesday and Saturday in the late afternoon to early evening. Please select the filter section at the top of the page and select the Rating option for All or M to find the update.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The next to last day of the conference was Jamie's turn to present. He was nervous, he hated to speak in public. The only other time he had to do this, Eddie helped him and it was just the 12th. Today it was precincts from all over and his wife had reminded him he was spineless. That was a definite push.

Jamie fought his nerves and looked for Eddie in the audience. He didn't see her. She was serious about not seeing him again, she didn't even come to the talk. Jamie stumbled through it, then got out of the room as fast as he could. There was a bar stool with his name on it in the back of the ski lodge.

Jamie only nursed the beer he ordered, he got the drink at 4 and still had the same one at 6. He mainly people watched, there were so many partners there, duos like he had been with Eddie. Some were male and female, a few looked like they were far more involved with each other than they should be. Had he looked at Eddie like that? He knew he wanted to.

After the dinner seating Eddie and a few other ladies entered the room lounge. They ordered beers and sat together laughing and talking, no one noticed he was even there.

The DJ was playing a pretty good mix of music, even Jamie liked what he was spinning. Eddie and her friends would get up and dance sometimes. She looked fluid and like she was finally having fun. That was it!" Jamie thought. 'That was how he'd get close again. Jamie wrote on a napkin his song request then worked into position closer to Eddie.

The country themed song ended and the next song began.

 _I see trees of green, red roses too_

 _I see them bloom for me and you_

 _And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

 _I see skies of blue and clouds of white_

 _The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night_

 _And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

As the song they had first danced to began to play, Jamie moved and slipped his arms around Eddie. His aftershave and familier touch saved him from being flipped over Eddie's shoulder. Eddie tried to struggle, she honestly did, but the feeling of Jamie's arms, the familiar scent, got the better of her. She wanted to be held by him so badly.

Jamie's cheek touched Eddie's cheek, Eddie's hand slid over Jamie's shoulder. They kept in their own space, they didn't' move around the floor. Jamie breathed in, Eddie breathed out…It was almost as if he inhaled her breath, her life force. But it still wasn't enough.

"I wanted to get close," Jamie whispered. "I had to get close to you, to talk to you. I made a mistake, Eddie. I made a huge mistake…I knew…This was when I knew."

Eddie didn't look up, but she did move a little closer.

"Claudia and me, we're wrong for each other, and there is nothing I can do about it. I knew on our wedding day for sure, when I held her like this, I didn't feel anything at all. Nothing compared to the emotions I felt with you, holding you close to me when we danced to this song. I shouldn't have made the choices that I made, I should have fought for us, for you."

Eddie felt her throat nearly close. It hurt to hear pain in Jamie's voice. It was clear that he wasn't happy and she did want happiness for him, she loved him, he was her best friend. Her only friend for a while. Still, he had left her for Claudia without a second though, and that hurt outweighed a lot of her empathy.

 _I hear baby's cry, and I watched them grow_

 _They'll learn much more than I'll ever know_

 _And I think to myself what a wonderful world._

 _Yes, I think to myself what a wonderful world._

As the song ended, Jamie held Eddie a little tighter. He did say his piece, now the ball was in her court. Jamie felt a couple tears fall on his shirt, Eddie felt a few tears fall in her hair. Slowly, they each lifted their eyes, they hadn't dare to do that since the music began. Each one of them had tears streaming down their cheeks, each one of them felt the pain.

Slowly, Eddie backed up, then turned on her heel and bolted from the room like Cinderella running from the ball. Jamie paid his tab and pursued her…he needed her, he wanted her, and he was not going to stop until he had his say.

Eddie could barely breath by the time she got to her room. She was sobbing so hard she fell to her knees as soon as the door shut behind her and wrapped her arms around her middle. How could she let Jamie get to her like this? She had promised herself those days were done, that she was going to get past him and be happy. Now here she was, in more pain than the day he broke her heart.

Eddie should have expected Jamie to knock on her door but she didn't. When she heard the gentle knock and his soft voice, Eddie froze. "Eddie, open the door," Jamie pleaded. "Please open the door, I didn't want you to cry. I'm sorry I just dumped all that on you back there. I know I lost you, Eddie, I know I did. I didn't just lose the idea of us, I lost you all the way. You want nothing to do with me and I don't blame you one bit." Jamie sniffled and swallowed his tears. "Claudia…got pregnant, but I didn't tell you the whole truth. I got her pregnant, but marriage was not the only solution, until she threatened to go to the press and my father and brother…my whole family, Eddie. I had no choice, I had to…I should have told you, we could have fixed it as a team but I didn't I…I am the spineless coward she says I am."

Eddie stood up and moved closer to the door. "I miss you, Eddie. I miss going out with you, I miss laughing with you…I miss you, Claudia is no substitute for you. She's my wife, she has the name, maybe after the baby is born it will be more tolerable, but I can't…" Jamie's voice cracked. "Please Eddie, please open the door. I just want to talk, that's all. I'll let you yell and scream at me, nothing you can say or do will hurt as much as saying nothing."

Eddie stepped a little closer still, Jamie was still talking, pouring his heart and soul out to her. "If I had another chance, Eddie, oh God…If I had another chance you'd be growing round with my child now…it would have been our wedding and we'd have danced to our special song. The days…the days are so long without seeing you and the nights…I wish the nights away thinking of what could have been. The worst part of it is," Jamie sniffled. "I hurt the one person I've ever truly loved and there is just no way I can undo it."

Finally, Jamie stopped talking. Eddie listened but she did not hear footsteps as he walked away. Instead she heard a soft thud as Jamie's forehead rested on her door.

Eddie though a long time about what she was about to do. If she opened the door now, it meant she was opening her heart again, that she could get hurt again. Still, that was Jamie on the other side of that door. Her Jamie, her best friend, her former partner…the man that still held her heart in spite of everything. Could she put all that history away because she was so deeply hurt?

Eddie padded to the doorway and slowly turned the knob. Jamie was leaning against her door, he stumbled and nearly fell into her. Eddie met Jamie's eyes, they were bloodshot from the tears that ran steadily down his face. Eddie reached out for Jamie's hand, the gentlest hands she knew, and drew him inside her room and into her arms without saying a word.

Their eyes met, two shining sets of blue, both red rimmed from tears of sorrow. Jamie's hand reached up to cup Eddie's cheeks and gently brush the tears from her face. Eddie's hand did the same, they had done this before, dried each other's faces after bad calls, but this was very different than that.

Jamie made the first move, but Eddie met him half way. Their lips touched just a bit, a peck at first. Jamie was asking her permission without word, his hands and lips gentle. Eddie opened her lips just a touch to let him know that she wanted and needed this as much as he did. Eddie's hand slid up Jamie's chest and over his shoulders as his hands came down and pulled her in close to him. Jamie worked his hands in to her hair and slid down her body so he could press his face against her chest.

Jamie inhaled the scent of her, the essence of his Eddie. She felt so soft, so feminine, so very much his even though he knew he gave that up for the family name. Eddie held him there for a few minutes, she seemed to know that he needed that special form of contact. Her hands stroked his hair, and Eddie laid her cheek on his hair. There was no denying she loved him, even though Tom did make her happy. There was denying that Jamie loved Claudia, the fact he was holding onto her was living proof of that.

Eddie knelt down and touched her forehead to Jamie's. Their hands came up again to frame each other's faces before they gave into the passion and met with a fierce kiss.

From the moment Jamie scooped Eddie onto his lap, Eddie had been almost breathless with longing and intense excitement. Eddie's love for Jamie flooded her, making her want to moan with pleasure at his touch, at the way he was holding her so close. Eddie rubbed her cheek against his shirt, and felt the heat and resilience of his flesh beneath the fabric. Eddie's nipples throbbed, and blindly she pressed hard against Jamie's chest. The resulting sensation was so acute that it shot straight down between her legs, and she had to clench her thighs against the heat.

Eddie felt Jamie's hardness against her hip, the realization of what they were about to do was sheer delight. Eddie stopped thinking. Jamie's lips were firm and warm, and hinted of a tantalizing taste that made her quiver with need. Eddie felt Jamie jerk at the force of the sensation, then his hands moved to her waist and tightened as if he was going to lift her away from him.

"No!" Eddie gasped, terrified Jamie was about to push her away again even after baring his soul to her on the other side of her door. "Jamie, please. Hold me." Eddie tightened her hold on Jamie and kissed him even harder, this time licking his lips the way she had the first two times they had kissed.

Jamie quivered, a long shudder running through his muscled body, and his hands clenched on her. "Eddie," Jamie began as Eddie's tongue slipped between his open lips.

Jamie groaned, his body tensing. Jamie took control of the kiss, his arms closed around her hard as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Eddie's neck bent back under the pressure and her senses dimmed under the onslaught of emotion. They had shared kisses before, Eddie had even imagined kissing Jamie like this when she was with Tom, but that quick moment of guilt soon past, this was her soulmate. Eddie twisted on Jamie's lap, seeking to get closer, and Jamie fiercely turned her, so her breasts were against his chest.

Jamie's hands moved and pulled Eddie's shirt from her fitted flippy skirt and worked it up and over her shoulders. He rumpled the small item and dropped it to the floor. Eddie worked his shirt off and buried her face against his chest. Jamie just held her tight, he would be content with this, holding her in his arms but their bodies had other ideas.

Piece by piece the clothing melted away leaving two bare bodies and two bare souls. Jamie laid Eddie down on the bed, her legs parted naturally, and Jamie settled between them. Jamie stroked Eddie's' hair and worked kisses down her body, over the rise of each breast then finally to her feminine mound.

Jamie's eyes met Eddie's, silently seeking her permission before he placed his lips on the delicate skin and began to suckle. Eddie cried out, "Jamie!" as she threw her head back in wild abandon. Eddie never felt such sensation, such desire…she'd never been so desired either.

Jamie brought Eddie to climax with just his hands and his mouth She writhed beneath him, wanting, needing him to fill her.

Jamie's eyes met Eddie's once more as their bodies were poised to connect in the most ancient of dances, "It's okay," Eddie whispered. "The pill…"

Jamie nodded and pressed on, not worrying about the consequences of this night, he was only focusing on the emotion of making Eddie his…of claiming her forever.

 **A/N: We would like to thank everyone that has read, reviewed, followed, and favorited this story. For one of us it's a new genre and level of writing, for the other, it's their first foray into the writing process. Your words have provided encouragement and the drive to continue to tell this story to completion wherever that may lead us.**

 **As you may have noticed, we have change the rating to M to accommodate the intimate content in some of the chapters. Jamie and Eddie's connection is so beautiful, we do hope we are doing it justice. Please let us continue to hear your voice.**

 **Blueblood 82 and NancyReviews**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Eddie fell asleep nestled in Jamie's arms, her head resting on his chest. Jamie absently stroked her back, feeling more alive and complete than he had since the last saw her at O'Keefe's. Claudia didn't' stir this emotion in him, she didn't make him want to hold her close and protect her like Eddie did. Eddie didn't need his protection, she was a big shot SVU detective now, but he still wanted to do it, that was the point.

There was no end to the contrast between Eddie and Claudia. They were almost total opposites, especially in how they cared for Jamie. Eddie loved him, she was connected to him on a cellular level, a soul deep level, while Claudia wanted something from him. She wanted the prestige of the Reagan name, to be wed to the Commissioner's son, that's how she would introduce him. My husband, the Commissioner's son, he wasn't Jamie with her, not at all.

Eddie, even though Jamie knew she 'd had lovers, had a purity about her. What you saw was what you got and Jamie loved that. He knew where he stood…Tonight Eddie had given him everything.

Jamie continued to rub Eddie up and down, he felt her wiggle closer to him if he let up on his grip around her body. He made a mental note to mention she'd lost weight, Eddie wasn't' the dieting type so he worried about it. He wanted to be sure she was okay.

It was after four when Jamie finally fell into a restless sleep. He hadn't slept well in months. Claudia demanded his body often and he would say no. He often regretted disagreeing with her. Jamie knew it was the price he had to pay for his mistakes, with words, not actions, but words did hurt.

Eddie stirred as the soft fingers of dawn crept into the room. Jamie was sleeping, but he was tossing and turning. Jamie usually slept still and calm, the few times they did sleep in one another's presence that's how it was, still and calm. This was not like him, not at all.

Eddie slid out from under the cocoon of Jamie's muscular arms and gently pulled the covers down. She was pleased to find he was still excited for her even as he slept. Eddie straddled Jamie and slowly ran her hands up his chest, waking him from fitfull sleep with warm, slow kisses from his belly button to his lips.

Jamie felt like it was a dream, he had dreams of Eddie every night since she left him in the back of the pub. In many of them, she was naked, ample breast dangling before his eyes, waiting to be fondled by his hands. Jamie reached up to grab the delicate, ivory orbs, and that's what he usually got a handful of sheet, but this time, skin as smooth as silk met his searching hands.

Eddie leaned down and captured Jamie's lips. She kissed him deeply then whispered softly, "Let me love you…"

Eddie's simple and gentle request saw Jamie reaching for her, pulling her close and trying to turn so he lay over her. "No," Eddie shook her head. "Let me love you…"

Eddie pushed Jamie back on the pillows and slowly began to express her love and desire for him with her body. Eddie's full lips closed around Jamie's manhood, he was ready for her, bulging and pulsating with need. Eddie smiled around him, he tasted so good, salty and sweet and all nice things…When her lips and tongue drove him to the edge, Eddie drank as greatfully as Jamie had the night before, only his cries weren't smothered by her kisses, the were let out into the open air, his hips rising off the bed as the sun rose over the Montana mountains.

Jamie grabbed Eddie up by her shoulders and rolled her underneath him, they had both taken each other to the end of their tolerance…Jamie didn't wait, this time, he didn't ask…He plunged into Eddie's tight, hot center…her legs closed around his back…and they danced…

Spent, Jamie and Eddie held each other, breathing in time with each other, their heart rates beginning to settle. "Eddie," Jamie began. "When I get home…I'm going to ask Claudia for a divorce. I made a huge mistake, I panicked, I know I should be with you, I love you."

Eddie shut her eyes and steeled herself, this was not right. Yes, she loved Jamie with all her heart, but…he was married, he had a baby coming, this had to be it for them.

"I love you too," Eddie murmured. "For years, I've loved you Jamie and I will never stop loving you, but it's time to move on for us both. I have a boyfriend, he's a good man, he's sweet and he loves me so much. You have a baby coming, and good or bad, you are this child's father. From what you say, this little one will need your strength, your loving guidance…"

Jamie nodded, "So this is a one night stand then?"

Eddie felt her eyes burn, "It has to be, for both our sakes, and the sake of your son or daughter."

"Son," Jamie replied. "It's a son."

Eddie smiled, "He's a lucky boy, Jamie. You are going to love him so very much and things will get better when he's born, you'll see." Eddie stroked Jamie's cheek. 'There's a little out of the way pancake place around the other side of the highway. How about we spend today together? You and me as friends before we part again?"

Jamie nodded, anytime with Eddie was better than no time with her. While Eddie showered, Jamie made an obligatory call to Claudia to see how she was feeling. She was her usual charming self, just a bit softer. "I miss you," she told him. Jamie automatically replied he missed her too.

When Eddie was ready, Jamie drove to the pancake house. It was a cute place, mint green walls, Victorian style chairs and the best smell of coffee Jamie remembered for a while. "Two," Eddie said. "I brought my best friend today."

It warmed Jamie to hear Eddie refer to him that way again. Eddie sat and each got a cup of coffee and juice. Jamie ordered whole wheat pancakes with pecans and lite syrup, with turkey bacon. Eddie ordered a monster stack of mint chocolate chip pancakes with syrup and whipped cream with a chocolate milk to wash it down.

"Okay, now I'm worried," Jamie sighed. "You are still eating like yourself and you lost what is it/ Twenty pounds."

"Fifteen," Eddie replied. "I lost a little right after I left the City, no more street food and then I just got over the worse case of bronchitis, I sounded like a seal for a month, Tom sent me my scarf so that I didn't catch cold worse."

"Well, good for Tom,' Jamie replied. "I was worried it was more serious."

Eddie smiled gently, "I'm so glad you were worried actually. When things went…"

"Let's not do this," Jamie replied. "Let's make this memory a happy one." Jamie took a finger full of Eddie's whipped cream and dropped it on her nose.

"Oh no you don't Reagan…." Eddie tossed part of her dry pancake at him remembering countless night like this on the job.

"So SVU huh?" Jamie asked. "You are going to be so good at that, you can see how to get to the victims on a level most people can't. I'm really really proud of you."

Eddie smiled and blushed, "Thanks Jamie. You got promoted too, though and in your niche. Training Sergeant…You were the best one I knew and the best friend I knew."

Jamie watched as Eddie cleaned her plate and drained her milk. She had a little milk mustache on her lip, Jamie reached out to gently dab it away. Eddie caught his hand and kissed the palm.

The pair blew off the end of the day festivities and spend time together. After a hearty breakfast, they went on a very short lived nature walk. Eddie saw a spider and was up the trail faster than Jamie could run. "You know for a good cop you are such a girl," Jamie laughed reaching in to tickle her side.

"Shut up, Reagan," Eddie replied, her laughter music to Jamie's ears.

As time drew on and the sun in the big sky country began to move toward the western horizon, the light and jovial mood of the two friends and partners turned quiet and sullen. They knew in a few more hours they would part company and wouldn't have contact again.

Jamie didn't want to push Eddie into more than she wanted. It was his cross to bear, he was the one that ruined their chances at a life together, Eddie gave him his chance.

"We have two hours," Jamie whispered pulling Eddie closer. "Can I take you to the airport…"

"No, I hate airport goodbyes, we'll do it here, okay?" Eddie asked. "In this pretty little place…"

Jamie pulled Eddie close and ran his hand up and down over her back. "I…I wish we could do it over, I wish…" Jamie breath caught, he was near tears again.

"I know," Eddie sighed. "But it was a sign that we just are not supposed to have that life. We can care but we can't Jamie…we can't…"

Eddie nodded and sniffled herself. Jamie dipped his head and started to kiss Eddie's lips. Jamie pulled her flush against him, breasts crushed again him. Jamie caught her ear between his teeth and breathed softly into it. Eddie shuddered at his warm breath. When they were like this, she couldn't understand her compulsion to end this here, to cut their ties…but…she was going to do just that.

Eddie ran her hands in Jamie's hair, they paused their kisses and just held each other. Sometimes that was the best form of human connection. "My arms will always be here, Eddie," Jamie whispered. "Like the first day we met, like that awful night when you…with Jake…"

Eddie nodded, "We've seen each other through a lot, but we have to stop this. You are going to be a daddy and that is the most important thing you can do in your life. I can't be in the way of that."

Jamie pecked Eddie's cheek and made a line of kisses to her hair, "Tom treat you well?"

"Oh yes", Eddie smiled. he treats me like a queen, you don't have to worry about me Jamie, I'll be fine, I promise." Eddie wondered if she was convincing Jamie or herself.

 **A/N: We are so impressed and touched with how well this story is being received. We love sharing this story and our vision of this magical world with all of you. It's been a joy to write and has much more to go, already the manuscript exceeds 300 word pages. We hope you will all stick around and tell your friends.**

 **In honor of Memorial Day, we are posting a bonus chapter on Friday. It's a thank you to our Vets, Police, Firefighters, and Emergency Medical Personnel that risk their lives for us. If anyone is a member or former member of these services or you are related to a member of these services, we thank you.**

 **NancyReviews and BlueBlood82**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The rest of the time wasn't spent on chit chat, words were always important to both of them but their special connection was about to be severed forever this time. Before this, Jamie held out hope for another meeting with Eddie, a chance to apologize, a chance to make things right. Now, he'd done what he wished but Eddie drew the line in the sand. She was moving on and she was happy. He owed her that much.

Jamie's lips came crashing down on Eddie's. Eddie's hands slid up his back, she marveled at how smooth his skin was and how incredible he smelled. Eddie laid her head by his heart…she rubbed her cheek up and down relishing in the feeling of him. She loved him, there was no doubt, but she couldn't choose him. Not again…

The partners spent the next hour holding one another, kissing each other, studying and memorizing the other. As the large bell on top of the Community Church rang out, Jamie pulled Eddie closer just as she held him to her. This was it, their final goodbye.

Jamie stood next to Eddie in the cab line as many other members of the convention team were getting ready to go to the airport. Jamie's flight wasn't until the next morning. "You be safe," Jamie whispered. "You be safe and…. what's your flight number so I can make sure that you get home safe."

Eddie smiled and whispered to Jamie the number and the time the flight was due in. "I won't forget these last few days, Jamie. But know I'll be okay, know that in your heart alright?"

Jamie brushed Eddie's hair back, "I know. You better get going. I love you, Eddie," Jamie whispered as she took her bags, got in the cab, and drove away.

Jamie bit his lip as the cab took off. He said goodbye to a few of the other friends he made there, Jamie was one of the last to leave.

Eddie hurried out of the cab and towards security. She spent a little too much time snuggling with Jamie that she had to sprint to the gate. As she was jogging the best she could on high heeled boots, her phone chirped and her heart lurched. Jamie, it was Jamie…

Eddie looked down and saw a text from Tom. "A few more hours until you're in my arms. XOXO."

Eddie's heart fell and her head began to spin. Why would Jamie text her? She put the brakes on that herself. Jamie was willing, he was willing to do it for her, for them and she said no. This was by her own hand, she and Jamie said goodbye forever.

Eddie got into her seat and fastened her seatbelt. By the time the flight attendants were doing their inflight safety demonstration, Eddie was sobbing. The urge to jump off the plane and run to Jamie was so strong, even with Tom waiting at the other end of the flight. But that was no longer an option, she was flying home with a barrier between her and Jamie built by her own hand.

The flight was four hours…Eddie's heart pounded the entire way, each mile she flew she was getting farther and farther away from Jamie. Eddie's hands turned numb, her breath went faster and faster…this was a mistake and this time she made it. She never should have shut Jamie down, they should at least maintain their friendship, that was priceless, precious, and because of her fears, gone.

By the time the plane touched down, Eddie made up her mind. She was going to call Jamie and at least establish some contact, she couldn't' live without him, she needed him, even though she had Tom. By the time the plane got to the gate, Eddie knew what she must do. She couldn't be without Jamie, she knew that, she'd have to end things with Tom and beg Renzulli to help her rejoin the NYPD, to be near Jamie. No that wouldn't work…Jamie had a son coming and she couldn't be that person to him she couldn't be the person that broke up his family. It wouldn't be fair to him, and it would hurt their relationship in the long run. Still Eddie was sure she couldn't live without Jamie. She was positive of that.

With shaking hands, Eddie dialed Jamie's number. Things had to be rough for him to be staying at the hotel without anyone else there. Did he need that much time and solace?

Jamie was lying on the bed in his room, missing Eddie's warmth and presence. Still, he'd have to make the memory last, it was the last time he'd ever hold Eddie. Jamie almost didn't answer his phone when it rang. Claudia blew it up earlier then hung up on him. This was likely another one of her tirades. Still, Jamie did look at saw Eddie's number across the screen. She must have just landed, his text that her plane was in hadn't even gone off yet. "Eddie, hey…"

"Jamie…" Eddie was sucking air pretty hard and her voice was trembling; "Jamie…"

"Eddie," Jamie sat up quickly. "Eddie, what happened? Come on talk to me, did someone hurt you? Did you get sick? Talk to me."

"Jamie, I…" Eddie was sobbing in his ear. "Oh, you're going to think I'm a terrible person…I have Tom and I really care for him but…I can't leave it like this with us. We're too…. there's too much…I was thinking, it wouldn't be so bad if we kept in touch for emergencies, right? Only big stuff, someone died or someone is sick…and maybe…this convention this is in the third year, I know I can go every year and if you can make sure you go too…every April you could meet me in Montana, spend the week together. I know I said no, I know I drew the line but…I want to move the line Jamie, can we please move the line?"

Jamie never felt his heart soar so high. Eddie wanted to do this again, she wanted contact with him, she wanted a connection with him. Jamie's face broke out into a 1000-watt grin, one he could only produce at 100 watts lately. This was the perfect solution, so it seemed.

"Yeah," Jamie replied. "Yeah, we can move the line anywhere you want to move it, Eddie. If you want to meet once a year in Montana, we'll meet, if you want to meet once a week at the top of the Empire State Building, we'll meet. I made a grievous error and I have to pay for it I know that, but losing you is too high a price."

Eddie sighed, "We are soul mates Jamie, but you have your little boy coming and trust me, it's no fun to grow up with crazy, I did and I'm only lucky I survived it. You have to be that little one's hero Jamie, you have to be."

"I know and I will be, Eddie," Jamie replied. "I will be that for my boy. What about you? Who's going to be your hero?"

"Tom's a good man, and I can't hurt him after all he's done, but we'll know and plan and look forward to our time." Eddie was calming down and Tom was calling on the other line. He must be waiting for her.

"I love you, Eddie. My hand will always be there, just grab it,' Jamie told her.

"I know, and so is mine. Text for emergencies…so let's hope we just see each other once a year. "April 5th," Eddie whispered. "Maybe let me know the baby is okay when it comes?"

"Sure, he'll be here in June, end of June. Be safe," Jamie murmured. "See you same time, next year?"

Eddie smiled and wiped at her eyes, 'Same time, next year. Oh, and Jamie…I love you, too."

Eddie had a bounce in her step when she reached Tom, but for an entirely different reason than he would think. He was a good-looking man, ten years Eddies' senior. His hair was dark, almost black, greying near his temples, though he took excellent care of himself. He had a healthy physique, strong arms, muscled chest and legs. He opened his arms too Eddie when he saw her coming down the jetway.

"I missed you," he murmured in her hair. "Give me your bag, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired, you know…" Eddie replied. 'Thanks for the scarf." Eddie gave Tom a soft kiss.

"Anything for you," Tom replied. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, you look happy."

Eddie nodded and headed to the baggage claim. Tom slid his arm around her and nuzzled her neck. She knew he'd want to be intimate. They hadn't been with each other but twice before she left because she had been so sick. It was funny, most of the time while she was gagging and sweating, having pain in her chest, she was thinking of Jamie's Reagan hot toddy and his gentle hands on her shoulders, rubbing softly.

Tom had tried, he brought her tea, toast, breakfast in bed. He bathed her head from the fever, but it was just not Jamie. He'd never be…how could she do this? How could she be with Tom after what she found with Jamie?

"My place?" Tom asked when she had her bags.

"Uh," Eddie thought quickly. "I'm still not 100%, I think the trip took it out of me. It was a lot of early days and late nights. Maybe tomorrow night we can have a reunion of sorts?"

Eddie had to think quickly and Tom seemed to be buying it. "Why don't you come over but we can just sleep and cuddle okay? Nothing you don't feel up to…you know I'd never pressure you about that."

Eddie nodded, "She did know that and she was so glad Tom was understanding that way. She wanted, no, needed to hold onto Jamie a little bit longer. A few hours later, while Tom slept at her side, Eddie tiptoed out of bed and found the number for Wings and Things, the place she got her midnight snacks from. She placed and order for wings and a six pack to Jamie's room at the chalet. Something to remember her by…until the met again.

For his part, Jamie laid on the bed thinking of next year with Eddie. They would be spending seven nights together, not just one…There was a sharp knock at his door, Jamie got up and called out, "Whose there?"

"Delivery for Jamie Reagan," the concierge announced. Jamie opened the door and smiled, "Thank you." He gave him a tip and accepted the package.

Jamie opened the bag of food and saw a note scribbled on a napkin, that was classic Eddie, she always wrote him messages on napkins. "It's Happy Hour," it read. Followed by, "Meet Me in Montana.

Jamie laughed, "You bet I will Eddie…" There was nothing he wanted to do more.

 **A/N: Please enjoy this special bonus chapter in honor of Memorial Day. Thanks to all who have served and to your families.**

 **NancyReviews and Blueblood82**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Jamie walked off the jetway to get his bag, knowing he wouldn't see Claudia there to greet him. He was surprised to see Danny there with a big smile. 'How you doing kid? Did you knock them dead with you TO speech?"

Jamie smiled, "Yeah, it went pretty good." Jamie still couldn't hide the smile.

"Just pretty good and you're all smiles?" Danny asked. "What gives kid?"

"You have time for a beer before you go home?" Jamie asked. He had to tell someone about this…He had to.

Danny nodded with a smile and headed to the nearest bar that had darts and decent beer. Jamie sat on the stool, looking at the beer. "Okay, spill it, you look like the cat that ate the canary, what the hell happened in Montana?"

Jamie took a deep breath and smiled, "Eddie," Jamie replied. "Eddie was in Montana and we…We talked a lot of things out up there. More than talked, actually. Danny, it was by far, the most incredible night of my life. I held Eddie in my arms, I told her how I felt…we made love to each other and spent the entire last day together."

"Great! Okay, I have to know…is she, because she has a rockin' body, Kid."

Jamie blushed, "It was incredible, just more than I could think…"

"Yeah, yeah…" Danny laughed. "So, what did you do? How far does Eddie, I mean there a few things Linda will just not do."

"Let's just say that Eddie has very few boundaries in that area but everything we did felt totally natural and real," Jamie replied. "I did things with Eddie I've never done before in my life."

Danny was so proud of Jamie for finally seizing the day and letting Eddie know how he felt. "So, you want me with you when you give Claudia the boot? I'll help the witch pack!"

Jamie sighed, "Eddie's found someone else. She and I are going to text if something major happens otherwise we are going to see each other once a year in Montana…that's how she wants it, for the sake of the baby."

Danny tossed a straw, "For the sake of the baby that woman should be sterilized and chained to a concrete wall, Eddie would be a better mother to that baby, a cat is a better mother than Claudia will make. Why did you say yes to that?"

"Cause it was her line in the sand, Dan," Jamie replied. "I love her, I miss her and this is how I get to be with her. It's my own fault, I pushed her away over and over again, now she's happy with this Tom guy and we made a deal. I have to honor her wishes."

Danny knew when Jamie got that look he would not hear another opinion now. "Well, I'm glad you two are at least talking and when that crone you married goes nuts, you have someone to reach out to besides me. She's got the rest of them fooled, but anytime you want to make a move, I'm here…I'm here at your back always."

Danny put his hand on Jamie's shoulder, Jamie met his brother's eyes. "I know…I better get home, she was tracking the plane."

"Oh boy…" Danny sighed and paid the check.

Jamie walked into the apartment he shared with Claudia, "Hey," he called out seeing his wife sitting on the sofa. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, not that you cared, your plane landed over two hours ago and there was no traffic on the Van Wyck or the Belt!" Claudia sniped at him.

"Hi, Jamie, I missed you. How was your flight?" Jamie mocked rolling his eyes. "Danny met me, we had a couple beers. He wanted to find out how the talk went and all."

"Oh, your talk, I'm sure it was fine," Claudia replied. "Did they appreciate having a New York Reagan giving a speech?"

"I wasn't a New York Reagan there, Claudia," Jamie replied opening another beer and sitting down. "I'm more than that there, I'm a cop with something to offer. The big deal was Commissioner Schembri, he was the real draw."

Claudia stood up and wrapped her arms around Jamie. He shut his eyes, the pushing and the sounds, the scent of her reminded him of that night in the bar…now…it reminded him of what it wasn't.

"One day it'll be you," Claudia replied. 'You'll see, we'll make it be you."

Jamie nodded, it really was best if he agreed with Claudia instead of arguing with her. "When I have the solve rates he has and the reputation he has then I will. I also don't have the experience, but I am a lawyer turned cop so that works pretty well."

"Yes, now you just have to get out of your own way," Claudia replied. "It's time to spread your wings, to move up…trainings these nobodys is…"

"Important to me," Jamie sighed and reached out to touch Claudia's baby bump.

Claudia pushed him off. "Let's take that upstairs…" She pulled on Jamie's hand and led him up to the bedroom. Claudia was always aggressive, in bed she was the worst. Jamie didn't want this, not tonight. The memories of Eddie were too precious still, he didn't want it ruined.

"Claudia, I'm too tired," Jamie replied. "I can't tonight."

Jamie knew that was all it would take for Claudia to fly into her rage. "You spineless little wimp, too tired…can't get it up…" She kicked Jamie in the side full force. "I'm surprised you managed to get me pregnant, you're so damn useless."

Jamie bit his cheek, he usually let her words roll off his back like water but tonight, after such joy and love from Eddie, it made the loss that much more acute. This was his punishment for his poor choices. "Maybe, but I did get you pregnant and it's not good for the baby to hear you screaming all the time. We'll do it tomorrow night." Jamie knew he better make good on those words.

"Tomorrow night it'll be something else," Claudia sniped. "You always have some kind of excuse."

The yelling went on and on, Jamie did his best to drown it out. He shot a text to his brother, "Tomorrow night, you need me on a case, right? I can't do what she wants, Dan. I can't."

Not more than a minute later, Danny replied, "I've got you, brother. Still want to stick it out?"

"If I don't who'll take care of this baby, her?" Jamie replied. "Thanks, Danny…Back to battle…"

It made Danny sick Jamie felt this way. He hated seeing the kid in such a place, his sense of honor and duty too strong to allow him to escape.

A week later, Tom was still getting the cold shoulder from Eddie. He planned a romantic evening for the previous night and he still did not reach his goal…Sunday night Eddie sat down on the couch and kicked her feet up. Tom sat on couch and put her legs in his lap, "What's wrong, honey? You haven't been yourself since you came back from the conference, and I know you aren't sick…"

"I guess, I don't know. I'm having a hard time getting back into work and…" Eddie sighed. "I'm sorry, Tom I just…"

Tom smiled at Eddie and snuggled her tight in his arms, "It's all right. I'll wait honey, I'll wait. I just need to know that we're okay. That you're okay."

Eddie smiled at Tom, "We're fine."

In truth, they were anything but fine. Eddie missed Jamie so badly it hurt, but she just saw on the news he made another big arrest. Jamie was finally on a fast track, she couldn't derail him now. Claudia looked nice, she looked together, not like Jamie described her, but Jamie was no liar. If he said she was a rough person to live with, then she was. It hurt her heart to think of that happening, of his wife being mean to him, and she wasn't there to buck him up and make it better. Eddie had a lot of thinking to do…

Eddie continued to be quiet and standoffish, and Tom continued to be kind and patient. Eddie almost wished he made it a big deal, that he got possessive or suspicious, it would make it much easier. He was so damn nice and understanding, even more than Jamie ever was. Jamie did have an edge, a slow burn that Eddie found quite intriguing. It was Jamie she couldn't get out of her head or her heart. She dreamt of him at night and was terrified to let Tom touch her for fear that she would call out Jamie's name.

Eddie was seriously thinking about ending things with Tom. He was a good boyfriend and she loved him, but she wasn't in love and that was what she wanted…she wanted the man she loved even if she couldn't really have him.

Eddie planned to tell Tom that Sunday night at dinner that she was going to end their relationship, but that morning she was struck with the stomach flu to end all stomach flus. The dizziness was the worse, and there was good old loyal Tom, staying home from work to take care of her. How could she dump him when he just cleaned up her puke? That would be a new kind of low…

While Eddie was lying in bed in Manhasset trying to find out what in the heck caused her stomach to start its own revolution, Jamie and Claudia arrived at Sunday dinner. That was the one event when Jamie could breathe easily. She spent time talking to Nikki, Erin, and Linda while Jamie sat with Danny and the boys watching TV. "So, you hear from…" Danny asked. It has been six weeks since the conference ended and Jamie hadn't mentioned Eddie once.

"No," Jamie replied. "Good too because if I do it means something is wrong. We agreed emergencies and once a year at the conference and that is it. I'll text her a picture of the baby when he gets here but no contact, she was firm about that."

"Well I for one think it's ridiculous, you're staying married for the sake of a kid that isn't even born yet. You could make like fifty babies with a woman like Eddie," Danny sighed. "She's got the hips for making kids…she really does."

"Danny, please, the baby is due in only six weeks, I think maybe things will be easier then. Maybe it's hormones or something…" Jamie took a bit of a carrot stick.

"Could be just her personality and wouldn't you be screwed then cause the kid will be out and you'll start being all boy scouty…" Danny bit a potato chip.

The boys watched the uncle and father's exchange not understanding what it meant and not caring. Claudia was too bossy, and not like their aunt or their mom, she was mean bossy…that didn't play well here.

"Oh, feel right there," Claudia held Erin's hand on her baby bump. "He's kicking up a storm. Jamie and I are still tossing around names, but he's such a soccer star I'm still partial to David. I actually want him to play soccer too, you can do so much with that game now."

Both Jack and Sean were on soccer teams, "There's a great pee wee league here in Brooklyn and the one in Staten Island is good too but Jamie was runner, and he did Little League, home run champion, your little Joe might…"

"Oh, we are not naming the baby Joe," Claudia insisted. "Too much bad luck. I'm superstitious like that."

The comment earned her a glare from Frank. When Jamie told him he'd gotten Claudia pregnant the next question from his mouth had been "When's the wedding?" but it was clear now his boy was married for who he was, not what he was. That ate at Frank's soul.

"How does Jamie feel about that?" Henry asked as he pulled two chickens out of the over. "He's always said since Joe died he'd want to honor his brother if he had a son."

"He still can, Pop," Erin replied. "I see Claudia's point and why bring up sad memories at a birth? Jamie's a little morose that way."

Frank slammed the chopping knife down a bit harder than he needed to while Henry bit his lip. "Claudia dear why don't you help Nikki set the table. We're going to eat in a few minutes."

Claudia batted her big doe eyes at Henry, "Of course, Pop. Anything to help."

The ladies looked at old family pictures after dinner, while the men had a drink on the patio. "I can't," Henry groaned. "I just can't."

"Well, you have to Pop, she's Jamie's wife," Frank replied before Jamie and Danny stepped out. For his father and grandfather Jamie played his part, he smiled, he defended Claudia's poor actions, he was the picture of an Irish gentleman, he could only trust his brother with his deepest secret, while he was married to Claudia in body, he was married to another in his soul.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Eddie's stomach flu ended up lasting for two weeks. It would happen at any time, in any place. There was no predictable pattern to it, no remedy that worked. Eddie knew after the first week it was likely not the flu and after she missed her cycle in May, she was sure of it. Eddie called her doctor to make an appointment. Now that there was this possibility she had to make a choice about Tom once and for all.

Eddie didn't mention her suspicions to Tom, she hid the sickness pretty well after the first few days. Only her co-worker and new friend, Lisa, seemed to be able to tell. Eddie's appoint was on a Wednesday, the 30th of May. She bounced her leg up and down as she waited to be called.

Finally it was her turn, Eddie walked back and changed into a gown. She got weighed, she was up two pounds. She got the urine cup and peed, then she waited again. How could she be pregnant? She was on the pill and…The pill was not 100% effective, it could have been faulty. There was room for that certainly. She had been with Tom, and if she were to be pregnant he'd be a solid, able father for their child. She'd also been with Jamie, but comparatively speaking…she'd been with Tom much more, he was the likely father.

"Hi, Eddie," the doctor smiled. He's already conducted the dipstick test. "Your urine test came back positive for HCG levels, which as you know means you are…"

"Pregnant,' Eddie sighed. "I was pretty sure that's what it was, but I wanted to make sure. I'm on the pill…I never missed…"

"You saw me for antibiotics a few months back," the doctor recalled. "That could have interfered with the effectiveness of the pill. Let's see this little one and get an idea of where were are developmentally and that will give us a clue as to when he or she was conceived."

Eddie laid back on the table as the doctor began to examine her. A baby. She was having a baby. Joy was the most acute emotion. Next was nervousness, even fear…but joy…maybe that would be a good name for a girl.

"I'm putting you at six to seven weeks, Eddie," the doctor said after conducting his exam. That would be in the proper time frame for your pill to have failed due to medication. I'm taking it this is not a wanted pregnancy…"

Eddie's hands flew to her middle to protect the tiny life there. "Oh, no, doctor. This wasn't a planned pregnancy, but…it's very much a wanted one. Thank you so much. I…couldn't be happier about this really."

The doctor gave Eddie a prescription for vitamins she should take and a list of foods and things to avoid. Eddie left the office in a blur…How could she leave Tom for Jamie now? Eddie head spun with questions…Her phone went off and eddie looked down at the text…from Jamie…

Earlier that day, Jamie was putting on his uniform and gold shield when his phone rang. He glanced down to see Claudia's number so he picked it up.

"Jamie," Claudia panted. "Jamie, my water broke at Kings."

"Your water broke where?" Jamie asked not sure he heard her correctly.

"At Kings, in the checkout aisle. I'm taking a cab to St. Victor's now," Claudia replied much nicer than she usually would speak.

"Okay, I'll tell Renzulli and meet you there,' Jamie replied. "Claudia, I'll be there, be safe." Jamie's heart was pounding, it was happening. A little early, but it was happening. He was going to be a father.

"Sarge, I've got to go, can you cover? Claudia's water broke!" This was the first time Renzulli saw Jamie happy in months. He smiled at his old boot, "Go on…Call me when he's here!"

Jamie sprinted out of the precinct and jumped in his car going full speed ahead to the hospital.

Claudia labored for only five hours…Jamie was by her side the entire time and while she was vile and shouting insults, it was somewhat appropriate for the setting. Still the words "I love you" never crossed either of their lips.

"Push, Claudia," Jamie encouraged. "You're almost done, he's almost here…push again…" Jamie's voice was calm and tender…"Oh shut up you spineless worm…"

Jamie sighd, "Yes, words don't have spines that's true but our son has a head and a spine and it needs to come out…push…"

Claudia bore down and pushed with all her might. Ten minutes later, a healthy 6 lb, 5 oz baby boy was brought into the world. Jamie couldn't hold back tears, he held Claudia's hand as the nurses placed their son on her chest. "Max," she said quickly without a sideways glace. "Max Francis Reagan…the heir to the throne…"

Jamie didn't see his son that way, he saw the boy as little and innocent. The nurses took the baby for a clean up then returned him to his parents. "Go show him off while we finish with you wife," the nurse encouraged. "The Commissioner is waiting…"

With infinite care, Jamie carried Max to the family waiting room pausing the nurses station. "Excuse me," he said to a younger nurse. Her nametag read Grace, Jamie loved that name. "Can you take a picture of me and my son?"

The nurse smiled and shot the photograph on Jamie's phone. Jamie quickly attached it to a text and shot a short message out. "Health boy, Max Francis…born a half hour ago." In the picture Jamie was wearing is 1000 watt smile.

Eddie's heart soared then fell as she saw Jamie holding his newborn son. Max Francis? That didn't sound like a name Jamie would have picked out. As long as she could remember, he wanted to honor his brother Joe if he had a son. Still, the little one was adorable, being held by his Daddy. For the first time since Montana, Eddie felt the compulsion to talk to someone about what happened. She texted Kara, "Need to talk big time. Happy Days?"

It felt like an eternity for Kara to answer but it was really just fifteen minutes. When her phone chirped Eddie snatched it, "Sure, 6PM?"

The relief was overwhelming. One the drive to Brooklyn, so dangerously close to Jamie, Eddie battled over whether to tell Kara she was pregnant or to just tell her about Montana and all that happened there. She decided the news of her pregnancy was too new and she hadn't even told Tom yet. Eddie parked and walked over, she sat in a back booth with an egg cream and waited for her friend.

"Sorry," Kara said as she hurried in ten minutes late. "Tour ended later today and I had to drop Josh off home first. You look good, how are you?"

Eddie smiled, "I'm okay. It's been a weird month since that convention and I have so much going on in my mind…"

"I thought you said everything went great at the convention," Kara recalled and ordered her own egg cream and a plate of fries.

"It did, I mean I learned a lot, the speakers were great, the environment was wonderful…Jamie was there," Eddie sighed. "He was a speaker."

"I knew he was going but I hoped it would be so busy that you didn't see each other…Was it terrible?" Kara regretted not alerting Eddie.

"No, it wasn't not at all," Eddie replied. 'I avoided him for five and a half days, then…he cornered me in a broom closest…"

"A broom closet? That's like out of some weird 90s sitcom," Kara laughed. "Did you talk?"

"Oh yeah, we talked," Eddie confirmed. "We talked and we…we settled a lot of things between us. He's miserable with Claudia, but…" Eddie showed Kara the picture of little Max. "He came today and he's got to be Jamie's first priority now."

"Of course," Kara replied. "Jamie's nothing if not proud of the fact he's going to be or is now a father. I'm sure there will be cigars for the entire house even though Jamie doesn't smoke."

Eddie fiddled with her straw and then looked into Kara's eyes, "We made love, Kara. Jamie and I, we made love."

"Wow" Kara replied after hearing the confession. "Okay, I will want to know if you are still with Tom and if Jamie is leaving his wife, but first…" Kara rubbed her hands together. "Give me details…"

Eddie laughed, "Okay, well, first he came to my door and he stood on the other side of it. He poured his soul out to me, he was crying, I was crying…It was pretty crazy. When I finally opened the door, all I wanted to do was grab him and pull him close and never let go. We didn't talk at all…we just gave into the years of tension…"

"And…" Kara prompted. "You did…was it wild and…"

"No," Eddie replied. "Not at all. It was soulful and deep. He's that sort of rough smooth that men sometimes are and his hands…it's like they paint on you, every place he touches the nerves just fire and…his mouth…he has an incredible mouth. He's very attentive."

"I knew it, I knew just when I first met him he'd make a great lover, but I'm married and he only has eyes for you, well except that one time…"

"Well that night he certainly had eyes for me…and the next morning…I returned the favor…We did such personal things for each other, it was amazing. I loved that he and I were so…compatible like that, we knew what the other needed and wanted and just did it. The last time we made love, the following morning…Five times…Five, I've never had five…"

"I'm jealous, and I'm speechless…boy scout Reagan…" Kara blushed. "Now tell me about Tom. Where are you there?"

"Yes, I'm still with Tom, and no, Jamie's got a family that needs him. I thought about leaving Tom, I really did, but Jamie's a father, he's a father and that little boy deserves more than being from a broken home because his dad and I made a mistake."

"Mistake?" Kara wasn't sure what the mistake was.

"We didn't talk it out, I got hurt and I left…Jamie's mistake was Claudia and mine…running away. When we talked, we said how we loved each other and then…it was beautiful and earth moving…but I said it has to stop…we can't see each other. We have to move on…"

"Oh, boy," Kara popped fry in her mouth. "So you're done, except for him texting you a picture of his baby?"

"No, I couldn't be done, not all the way," Eddie sighed. "I…I called him as soon as my plane landed and we agreed texts for emergencies and to meet once a year in Montana to…be with each other for the week. It's the best we can have, Jamie knows it too."

Kara's head was spinning from the information she received, Eddie and Jamie were going to have an ongoing relationship, once a year. That was crazy, it was odd, and it was romantic.

"Are you going to stay with Tom?" Kara pressed. Eddie quickly nodded she was. "Yes, Jamie has his little family to raise and nurture, he's moved on in that way, now I have to move on too. Tom's a good man, a really good man. It's the best of both worlds for me and for Jamie. No one needs to find out, no one needs to get hurt."

"I'll do the best I can to help you, Eddie," Kara assured her friend. "Messages, interference, you name it. I love you girl, and I'm really glad to see such a glow in your face again. You want to split a piece of pie?"

Eddie's brows knitted, "Split one? You're crazy…two lemon meringue slices please…"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"Here we are Max," Jamie cooed to his new son as he walked into the house carrying the baby. "This is home. Claudia, maybe sit down and rest, I'll get his bottle set up and he can eat. The family is coming over later."

"Oh good, your father wasn't at the hospital as much as I thought he would be," Cluadia replied. "Linda said when Jack and Sean were born she had to beat them off with a stick."

"Well, he wasn't Commissioner then," Jamie excused. "He's got a lot on his plate now, he'll find time though, my father loves nothing more than being a grandpa."

Jamie handed Max to Claudia with his bottle. "There you go, little guy," Jamie smiled as the baby drank. "He's got a good appetite huh?"

"Yeah, why didn't you speak up about the breastfeeding thing, you knew I didn't want to do that and have my breasts get saggy and deformed."

"I know, and they weren't mean," Jamie replied. "There was no reason for me to speak up, they were asking a simple question."

"Well it was insulting to me," Claudia snapped. "And it's insulting to me that Danny never even came to see him. And you wanted him to be Max's godfather."

Jamie bit his lip, he'd pick his battles…but he would be picking one about Danny. He was his older brother, the relative he was closest to besides his father, he wanted Danny to be his son's godfather.

"I still do but the baptism is a long time away yet," Jamie replied and tickled Max's tiny foot.

Within the hour, the house was full of Reagans and little Max was being passed around. Claudia had arranged with Garrett for a photo shoot at the house, and a layout proclaiming Max's birth.

Jamie wasn't comfortable with all the press, all the mess, and attention but Claudia thrived on it and it kept her happy, which meant his life was calmer and easier. Jamie would take that, he'd take anything that would keep things more settled.

"He's sweet," Frank told Claudia and Jamie. "A very gently personality so far, just like you Jamie."

"Oh, let's hope not," Claudia laughed. "I want Max to grow up strong and sure of himself, not like Jamie…that's why I named him Max, a solid strong name."

Frank bit his tongue and Jamie his lip, there was something greater involved here now than their pride…there was an innocent baby here and he had to be the priority, he has to be number one, Jamie was going to be sure of that.

The spread ran in the Sunday paper. Eddie saw the photograph of the entire family except Danny, Jamie was smiling brightly. He was happy, and there he was in Montana saying how miserable he was and how cruel his wife was.

That picture, except for the fact it was missing Danny, presented the face of a very happy family. Eddie dropped the paper as Tom came into the room. "Good morning, beautiful,' he greeted and kissed her deeply. "Good morning, honey," Jamie replied. "You look better today."

Eddie smiled at Tom, "I am better today, but I do need to talk to you about something. I went to see the doctor on Friday because I'd been feeling so sick…and he knew why."

Tom moved closer to Eddie, "Are you okay? You know if you need anything…"

Eddie's face broke into a wide smile. "Tom, I'm pregnant," Eddie announced. "I'm going to have a baby."

"Oh my God!" Tom smiled and jumped for joy before scooping Eddie into his arms. "Oh..our baby, I'm so happy…" Tom's eyes filled with happy tears. "Let's get married…we need to get married since the baby is coming. Not just because of that but…"

"I know," Eddie replied. "I know…" Tears were falling freely down Eddie's face. "And yes! I'll marry you, Thomas Manning..Yes!" Eddie knew her enthusiasm had a little to do with Tom's proposal and a lot to do with trying to forget Jamie Reagan…She felt betrayed by him again, he looked happy…Even still, even if Jamie was happy, he should be. He had his little family and he had to care for them. Eddie's hand went ot her belly and rubbed…she had her little family too.

"We have to do it soon," Tom replied. "You'll want an elegant gown and to not be showing. When are you due?"

"January," Eddie replied. "So yeah, we better get moving. A church wedding, pink in the color palette…"

Tom smiled, his dreams were coming true. He would have an heir.

Jamie returned to work two weeks after Max was born with cigars for everyone as Kara had predicted. She'd been to Long Island twice since the photo layout hit the papers. Eddie had told Kara she was getting married and how she felt about the picture, that Jamie was too happy.

Kara reported to her that Jamie, according to Renzulli and McKenna, was a doting new dad, but they felt that was it. Together they kept analyzing the photograph, Jamie's body was turned slightly away from Claudia, his hand possessively on Max's tiny belly. "If we saw this as cops what would you think?" Kara asked.

"I'd say that Jamie was insecure and slightly hostile to Claudia, but the smile….

"The smile is for the baby," Kara replied. "You know Jamie, he's not a liar. He's so much not a liar that he wrecked his own life. Besides, you are getting married…"

"I know," Eddie replied. "Oh and before I forget, I'm only have three people, Tom's sister, my friend Haley from high school, and hopefully you…Would you be in my wedding?" Eddie asked.

Kara's eyes lit up, "Oh, I'd love to be." Kara gave Eddie a big hug. "I thought you'd never ask…what's the color palette?"

Eddie and Kara went over the wedding plans and chatted about the very quickly coming date. "My dress is designed but it's coming out beautifully. It has pretty sequins…" Eddie did seem to be so happy that she was getting married.

"So what does this mean about Jamie?" Kara asked. "And your plans, this wedding is going to make the society pages and…"

"Can you tell him for me?" Eddie asked. "It's not exactly an emergency but…I don't want him to be blindsided when it comes out."

"Sure, I'll tell him," Eddie replied. 'Anything else…you want me to tell him?"

Eddie nodded, "Yes, Tom and I are expecting, that's why the wedding is so fast…I'm due in January and I'm going to be showing soon."

"Oh Eddie, that's great!" Kara beamed. "You're going to a be great mom, this is one lucky baby. How are you feeling?"

"Better now that I know it's the sickness and I'm drinking milk to combat that heartburn that is making me sick," Eddie replied. "But I'm worried about Jamie. If he is happy, that's great, but if what we suspect is true…I don't want him to just find out about this part either…"

"I'll tell him both things, okay…" Kara hugged her friend. "No stress, if you need to tell him anything else…"

Eddie smiled and bit her lip, "Just one more thing…"

"How are you doing?" Kara asked Jamie. "You look like a zombie, is Max that difficult?"

"He's a fussy boy and Claudia isn't in it much…she's not comfortable yet and she's not hands on but…" Jamie sighed. "It is what it is you know?"

"Yes, I do know…" Kara replied. "So Eddie saw the layout in the paper, and she said you look happy…"

Jamie's face dropped when Kara said that. Jamie felt the panic build…If Eddie though he was happy…he wasn't happy, not even close to happy. "You talked to Eddie?"

Kara nodded, "Yes, she's my best friend and she has a lot going on right now Jamie. She needs her friends."

Jamie sighed, he could read Kara's face too well. The look of slight disapproval but general happiness, "You know about us?"

"I know about Montana," Kara replied. "The us part I think Eddie's iffy on but that is just my perception, we did see how you were standing in that photo and any good cop can tell what's "really" going on and we both know Eddie is a good cop."

"Honesty, Kara, I'm happy I have Max. He's my son and he's…But he's not Eddie's son with me…For Eddie to be…my son's mother, that's what I need to truly be happy. That would be…"

"Bliss?" Kara asked. "Jamie…uh…I have something to tell you, a message from Eddie…"

Jamie's heart sped up, "Is she okay? Is Eddie okay?"

"Yes, Eddie's fine, she's just fine, but she didn't want you to hear this from the society page and the announcement will make the society page…Jamie, Eddie's marrying Tom…next month because she's expecting his child in January. They want to do it hard and fast. Eddie wants me to be the one to tell you."

Jamie felt like his heart was going to explode. As long as one of them was single things could still work out but with both of them married…Now Eddie was going to be a mother, he knew how seriously she would take that roll. He lost her, he lost her again. Jamie doubled over, but Kara was still speaking. 'But she asked me to tell you that she'll meet you in Montana…her promise…"

Jamie smiled…Montana…in seven more months they would meet again in Montana…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Three weeks later, Jamie stood at the back of the church, it smelled like a wedding. There was a combination of holy water, flowers, and perfume. The organ was playing music, Jamie was keeping to the back, out of sight. He didn't want to ruin this day for Eddie and if she saw him…He had to make sure he did a better job of being discreet.

The guests were beginning to arrive, Jamie kept himself concealed behind a statute of the Blessed Mother. The wedding was elegant, it was a very affluent area and Tom was an affluent man. A sturdy, safe husband for Eddie.

Jamie watched as 200 guests entered…The sanctuary was decorated beautifully. White carpets, Lily of the Valley and tea roses…this was what Jamie pictured for his wedding to Eddie. His wedding to Claudia was nice, but it didn't have heart, not like this. This was a classic showing of Eddie's taste and breeding.

Before Jamie knew it, Canon in D began to play. Jamie saw Kara Walsh and turned himself to conceal his presence even more. Kara, a red head Jamie didn't recognize, and Haley, were visions in blush pink and lace gowns with pink tea rose bowling ball bouquets. Jamie could see Eddie all over this wedding. They had only been together three months ago, this had to have been planned in haste, but you couldn't tell.

Finally, the music changed and Eddie appeared in the back of the church. Jamie's heart clenched, a vision in an off white, strapless, V-neck gown. The gown shimmered and shined with crystals, the reflection made Eddie's face and hair shine. A silver comb adorned her upswept hair... that was the comb Jamie had purchased for Eddie for their last anniversary as partners.

Jamie's heart fluttered seeing that, she wanted him close even though she was about to commit herself to another man.

Jamie sat when Eddie reached the alter and the priest began to speak the words that would forever join her to another man. Eddie's voice was firm and sure as she spoke her convictions and said her vows. There was no tremor of emotion, she was entirely in control of herself, she knew what she was doing.

Jamie wanted to slip out before Eddie was officially a married woman, but he found himself glued to the chair as they exchanged rings, and then it was upon him. The priest spoke, "Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder…I now pronounce you husband and wife…. kiss your bride."

Jamie had to shut his eyes and Tom's hand brush along Eddie's swept up hair. His lips should be on hers, not this other man's. It should be Mr. and Mrs. Reagan, not Mr. and Mrs.…

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Manning…"

The recessional began, Jamie looked at Eddie, she was beautiful and she was happy. Jamie loved her, and her happiness was his, so to see that smile on her face made him happy…for her.

For himself…his stomach lurched and his throat ached with the need to cry. It was over, any hope of a life with Eddie was over, because while Claudia was a piece of work…Tom loved Eddie, he adored her…it was obvious…

Jamie watched as Eddie left the church on Tom's arm. She was Mrs. Manning now, and except for an emergency, he'd have to wait to see her again, next April…when they met for a week in Montana.

Jamie slipped away as Eddie's friends paid her congratulations. He got into his Mustang, planning to take the long way home to collect his thoughts. "Eddie, did you see Reagan in the back?" Haley asked her friend. "He was in the very back corner, at least I think it was him."

Eddie shook her head, it couldn't have been… "No, he's in Brooklyn with his wife and son…and I'm here with Tom and our baby…" Eddie touched her belly. She hadn't yet told anyone but Kara.

"Your baby, you're pregnant?" Haley squealed and hugged her friend tight. She never though that Eddie would get over Jamie, but here she was married, expecting and moving on with her life for the better.

"I want my brother as his Godfather! I didn't get a say in his name, where he was born, if we did that stupid photo shoot…I want some say in what happens with my own son!" Jamie was losing his temper with Claudia's outrageous demands. Max's baptism was fast approaching and she was still dead set against Danny being the godfather. She chose Nikki as his godmother then asked Garret to be godfather without Jamie's consent.

"Oh, now you get a backbone," Claudia rolled her eyes. "Use it on Danny and tell him he's not the godfather. And Max is wet too, here take him!"

Jamie took the little boy and quickly changed him, he was an old hand at it, Claudia only tended the baby when he wasn't around or there was a camera on them. The heir to the Reagan dynasty, not our son…it made Jamie sick. Okay, so Claudia was a rough, hard-nosed cop working solo in Red Hook, still she was a mother now. It didn't seem to matter.

"You tell him," Jamie ground out through clenched teeth. "You want to wear the pants in this family, you want to be the one calling the shots you can do the dirty work too…"

It didn't help Jamie's temper that Eddie and Tom's wedding portrait appeared on the society page that day. Eddie had looked even better in the picture than she had in person. She fit in Tom's arms perfectly and had a genuine smile on her face in the photograph. Perhaps Tom wasn't her soulmate, but he was, at the least a life mate Eddie could tolerate.

"I will do no such thing!" Claudia exploded. "I can't be see that way if I'm going to make anything out of my life."

Jamie sighed, and tried to keep his cool for the baby. Claudia had the baby in her arms, the more she screamed, the more Max cried. Jamie stepped up to take his son, "Give me the baby, you're scaring him!"

Claudia put the baby back in his bouncy chair then turned on Jamie. "You don't shout at me in my own house! You don't make demands on me you sniveling little idiot!" Claudia shoved Jamie back with all her force. She was using her training against him, but Jamie couldn't bring himself to use his hands on his wife. Claudia had no such inhibition. Jamie wished deeply and wholeheartedly as he took blow after blow that he had never made such a mistake…

Jamie called out sick the next four days until the ugly bruising on his face healed. He couldn't hide or explain it so Max became his excuse to use more sick time. He kept to himself, caring for his baby son and ignoring the pain inside and out. The bond between Jamie and Max seemed to be growing, but the boy was failing to connect with the other men in the family. It broke Jamie's heart to see Frank, Henry, and Danny struggling to warm to his little boy.

"How do I look?" Claudia asked Jamie as he lay on the bed icing painful bruised ribs. "Like the mother of the heir to the Reagan throne?" she asked. The dress was ice blue, it showed off Claudia's figure or lack thereof, she was an attractive athletic build but lacked certain attributes that enhanced a dress of that style. "You look nice, you really do," Jamie replied.

Max's baptism was the next day and then the next week the dinner dance for the benefactors of the NYPD, a night of dinner and dancing. Jamie had never gone to that before but Claudia pushed it, it was important for their appearance. Jamie only nodded and called to rent a tuxedo.

"That's a good baptism dress," Jamie smiled. "I'm glad that Danny stepped up into the godfather roll after DCPI Moore back out like he did. Wonder how that happened?"

Jamie knew how it happened, Frank didn't like hearing that Jamie was pushed out of the choice or that Danny was disappointed in not being asked. It was Reagan family tradition. Once Frank explained that to Garrett and to Claudia the plans quickly changed. Little Max would be baptized into the Catholic faith with his Uncle Danny and cousin Nikki leading him in his spiritual life. Jamie felt better about the choices now with Danny to guide.

The sacrament itself was private and solemn for the family. Once again, Frank guided Claudia into a quiet, private baptism and a family dinner at home. Max was too little for major exposure and the family liked to keep personal things private. Once again, she conceded…if she wanted the new assistant job to Abigail Baker she had to be considerate sometimes.

Henry and Linda catered the baptism, Max was adorable in his white silk suit with satin blue tie. He didn't even cry when Father poured the holy water on his tiny head. Danny's smile was so wide holding his godson in his arms. In the picture taken that day, everyone's smiles were genuine.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

New York, New York blared from a brass band as couples filed into the ballroom for the benefactor's dinner. Jamie, was dressed smartly in a black French cut suit, starched white shirt and shined black shoes. Claudia was smiling on his arm, dark hair down and straight, her dress black and boxy, only brushing the top of her knee. She wore three inch heels making her almost a head taller than Jamie. She was naturally one inch taller, but the shoes clinched it.

Danny wore a similar suit in grey, and Linda was a vision in lavender. She wore Mary's pearls around her neck and in her ears, on loan from Erin with Frank's blessing. Danny kept watching the door, he'd seen on the list of benefactors that Thomas and Edit Manning had contributed a large sum for a stress training facility at 1PP and would be attending tonight to be recognized for that. That meant Jamie and Eddie would be in the same room. Danny wanted to arrange some time for them if he could do it.

Just as the appetizers began to circulate, Danny's detective eye caught them entering. Tom was a taller man, also dressed in a French cut suit. It occurred to Danny that Eddie had a hand in picking the suit for his brother and her new husband. Eddie however was what took his breath and he knew it would take Jamie's as well. Danny didn't realize that Jamie had seen Eddie too.

Eddie smiled at the attendant that took her tan silk wrap from her and hung it up on the rack. That wrap had been hiding a floor length green sequin gown that hugged her breasts, which were enhanced by pregnancy. The full skirt tried to hide the modest baby bump but those familiar with the nuances of a pregnant woman's body could tell that Eddie was not only with child, but basking in that fact.

Eddie's hair was in a French twist held with the same silver comb that she wore on her wedding day, the same comb that Jamie had given to her. It was her way of having him close to her and the comb was so beautiful that it worked. Eddie's jewelry was chosen carefully to match the comb in her hair. The V-neck of the gown allowed for a diamond necklace, which came with matching drop earrings and a tennis bracelet. Even Eddie's bag was setting off the comb, she took Jamie's breath away, just as Danny predicted she would.

Danny knew that the recognition wasn't until after dinner…as soon as he could he got close to Eddie. "Hey, good to see you," Danny smiled. 'Really good, married life agree with you?" Danny stepped in for a hug and began to tap a short quick message in Morse code, he hoped Eddie would get it.

"Yes, it does," she replied quickly and tapped back. "Danny Reagan, this is my husband Tom. Tom, this is Danny Reagan, he's the Commissioner's oldest."

"Nice to meet you," Tom smiled. "I do know your father, he's a good man."

"Eddie, I see congratulations are in order, when are you due?" Danny asked.

"January, right after the New Year…"

They continued the small talk for a while. "If you'll excuse me, Eddie I see another friend, I must say hello too, a dance later?"

Eddie smiled, "Oh, Tom, there's crab balls, but I have to use the ladies room…can you get our seats and I'll meet you?" Eddie asked watching Danny approach Jamie on the other side of the room.

Tom gave Eddie a kiss, 'OF course my love, don't be long. Be careful…"

Eddie nodded and headed for the closet Danny had told her to find.

"Danny, what the Hell?" Jamie protested as his older brother shoved him into the closet where Eddie waited. As soon as Jamie crossed the threshold though he smelled Eddie's perfume and turned around to see her smiling. "What is it with you and hiding in closests?" Jamie asked his face alight.

"It was Danny's idea," Eddie replied. "You have a good big brother."

Danny shut the door and began to patrol the area, trying to buy as much time as he could to bring his brother some joy.

As soon as the door was shut, Jamie and Eddie both reached for one another and held on tight. "Oh, you feel so good," Jamie sighed as he held Eddie close. "Oh, hey little one,' he laughed. "He or she is kicking a lot already huh?"

Eddie smiled, "Every night around the same time. I miss you, Jamie. How are you? I worry about you sometimes."

Jamie smiled, "I'm good, Max is a treasure, he's growing so fast, but you…you're stunning…just look at you…" Jamie stood back to admire Eddie. "You're wearing my comb…you wore it on your wedding day too."

"So you were there," Eddie smiled. "Kara said she thought you were but, I didn't let myself dream…"

"I was there, I couldn't let you…" Jamie replied swallowing the lump in his throat. "I could let you get married and not be in the church." Jamie reached out to cup Eddie's cheek gently. "You were the most beautiful bride. I'd dreamt for years of seeing you in a wedding dress, but I had always imagined I'd be waiting at the alter for you to come to me. I didn't see it the way it happened but you…your grace and beauty, that was beyond my dreams."

Eddie's eyes filled, "Stop it Jamie, I'm going to mess my face, I'm hormonal and pregnant and stuff…"

Jamie laughed, "He's taking care of you? Is he making sure you drink your milk and rubbing the sore spots and all that?"

"Of course, he is, Tom's a good man, a very good husband," Eddie replied. 'To herself she murmured, "He just isn't you."

The entire time they talked Jamie and Eddie were holding onto each other close. Jamie's hands kept finding Eddie's baby belly and tracking it. He wanted to do that with his own child, to show him love inside the womb, but Claudia was put off by anyone touching her belly. Eddie kept inhaling Jamie's scent and rubbing her cheek on his chest. Jamie would stroke Eddie's neck, her hair was too tight for him to play with it like he liked to do.

Jamie looked down at the same time Eddie looked up. Their eyes locked…Jamie tipped his head, Eddie raised hers. With animal magnetism and human sensuality, their lips met. Jamie took control, pulling Eddie's lips into his mouth, his tongue sliding out to play inside her luscious mouth.

Eddie breathed into Jamie's lips, making a throaty moan…he was the best kisser, the best lover, the best…she couldn't remember, his kisses her making her go weak at the knees. "Eddie…" Jamie sighed. "Jamie, oh, Jamie…more…hold me tighter."

Jamie's grip increased, the intensity of their kiss grew with their desire. The last few months had been emotional for them both, this kiss, this connection was their release.

Few words were spoken when they finally broke apart, they both knew they had to get back to their significant others, and to the lives they chose. Both were eternally thankful to Danny for this opportunity.

"I love you, Eddie," Jamie murmured as they parted. "Take care, remember you own me a newborn picture."

""I won't forget," Eddie replied. "I love you too, I'll see you in Montana. Be safe on the streets."

"You too, remember all you've learned."

Eddie kissed her hand and waved then headed back to rejoin Tom. They had only had about ten minutes together, but those were ten minutes in heaven for them both.

"Where were you?" Claudia asked. "The Mayor was by our table, you weren't even here to introduce me."

'I'm sure my father did," Jamie replied. "Danny had a…wardrobe malfunction, he needed assistance with. You want a cocktail?"

Jamie did his husbandly duty, but kept looking over at Eddie. Tom was parading her around, showing her off…Jamie didn't like that he was doing that. His Eddie was not a thing, she was a person…

"Ladies and Gentleman," the Mayor began shortly after dinner. "Tonight is one of my favorite nights of the year, because it's the night when I as Mayor, get to say thank you to the many people who have made contributions over the year to our glorious city. This year, this is no greater contribution then the donation of a new stress training facility for New York's Finest…the major donor is here tonight, our guests of honor, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Manning. Come on up and receive your plaque."

Tom walked up on the stage, holding Eddie's hand. He gently guided her up the steps and turned to the crowd with a smile. "I might have written the big check," Tom began. "And happily too, but the idea for this specialized facility came from my wife, Edit Janko, who served five proud years with the NYPD. She told me the story of her partner's partner, Officer Vincent Cruz, who was killed in the line of duty at the Bitterman housing projects. His death was not an issue of poor training, just poor timing, but was an officer lost too soon. It's in his name that we dedicate the new training wing at One Police Plaza…and at my wife's request."

Jamie felt his throat close, Eddie had talk to Tom about his, about Vinny…and they were here honoring Vinny, making his death count. Not only couldn't he give Eddie the kind of life Tom was giving her, he couldn't honor Vinny's memory like that. Claudia was watching Jamie, she saw his jaw work with emotion but didn't reach across to hold his hand or offer support. If Jamie did feel guilt about Eddie, he didn't' when reminded he was only part of his wife's agenda…

When the music began again, Claudia pulled Jamie up for a dance. He stood and buttoned his coat leading her to the dance floor, self conscious she was nearly 6' tall in her heels. Tom lead Eddie out to dance as well. She fit inside of his frame, he eased her head onto his shoulder. Jamie could see a bit of fatigue on Eddie's face, it was getting late and pregnant women got tired, even Claudia got tired after a while, those were a few of the more precious nights, when she'd fall asleep and their son would be between them. Those nights felt normal…

Jamie wanted to push Tom to take Eddie home. If she was his responsibility he'd take her home and let her rest. When the song ended though, Tom continued to dance with Eddie, while Claudia hit Garrett up for a dance. Jamie returned to the table watching Eddie be cradled and swayed by Tom. That should be him, but it never would be, he'd never have the money to do anything like this, to make that dream come true for Eddie…Tom could do that, it was his place to do it, not Jamie's.

Jamie stood up, he decided to play the old partner card and cut in on the dance, just as Eddie and Tom stopped dancing and stepped off the floor. Eddie saw Jamie approaching and smiled, "Tom, Tom, here is someone I'd really like you to meet. This is Jamie Reagan, he was my partner for five years when I was with the NYPD. Jamie this is Tom Manning, my husband."

Jamie extended his hand as did Tom, both men had impressive handshakes. 'Jamie Reagan, in the flesh…"

Jamie nodded, "You do have the advantage on me, Eddie never mentioned you when we were partnered."

"I just found Edit about nine months ago, we just knew it was right." Jamie felt the knife sink into his heart. Eddie wanted to introduce him for a reason, he could tell by her face. Eddie hated the look on Jamie's face when they parted, there was joy at the connection but also fear. He was worried about her and Eddie didn't want that, she didn't want Jamie to fear or to worry. Eddie felt if he did meet Tom and see for himself it was a safe situation he'd relax and be calm.

Jamie smiled at Eddie, "Eddie is very special, congratulations, you're a lucky man…" Jamie seized the opportunity to give Eddie a soft peck on her cheek before he shook Tom's hand. "I should find Claudia before she has us giving a tour of the Bay Ridge house like it's the Vanderbilt Mansion. She just loves the spotlight, excuse me…"

Jamie couldn't get away fast enough, he ducked to the bathroom, trying to hide his heart.

"You okay, Jamie?" Frank asked as he ducked into the bathroom after his son. "I saw you with the former Officer Janko."

"Yes, I'm good. Eddie's husband is a wonderful man, I was glad to meet him. She seems happy, she looks beautiful," Jamie replied. "Manhasset is treating her well, things are for the best."

There was no way Jamie could ever explain to his father he was having a planned affair with a married woman while he was himself married. So Jamie simply bit his tongue, "I don't like that she seems tired and he's showing her off like a show pony, but who am I to say anything, my own wife worked the streets until she was six months pregnant and Max is perfect."

"Your wife is not as small as Eddie, and she's not…She's not always open to other people's suggestions. Eddie is slight, like your mother, it might be harder on her body to carry extra weight and to be off balance, I know it was for mom."

"Thanks Dad," Jamie smiled. "Uh, can you give Claudia a dance so I can get out of here. I want to get home to Max."

Baby Max was certainly the highlight of Jamie's world, he loved his son so much. Frank knew, even Henry knew and accepted Jamie was only staying married to Claudia for the sake of his new son. The shrew would see to it the baby had no contact with the family if Jamie left her, Jamie' instincts to protect were too strong to walk away on a baby so little.

"I'll do what I can," Frank replied. "You're a good husband and father, Jamie. Don't ever let her…behaviors make you feel like you're not."

It hurt Frank's father's heart to see his Jamie like this. Jamie was his most docile child, perhaps after Joe, who never lost his temper. The look Frank caught between Jamie and his former partner earlier was hot, there was clearily sexual tension, but it was more than that. Jamie's eyes glowed when he looked at Eddie, the same way his own had when he looked at his Mary. Still, love was patient, kind, and cruel. Eddie was happy with her husband, Jamie was happy as a father to Max…life dealt his boy a cruel hand indeed.

Jamie offered a smile and headed out of the bathroom just in time to see Tom wrapping Eddie in his arms and ushering her to the door. There was a look on her face that turned Jamie's blood cold. There was fear in her eyes and her skin was pale. Jamie tried to hurry over but Tom had Eddie out of the ballroom before his brain could tell his feet to move.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jamie called Danny's attention to Eddie's hasty departure almost immediately, "She didn't look right, something is wrong. I know Eddie, the last time she had that look she was getting the stomach flu and laid in my apartment for three days. Something is wrong."

Danny took a breath, "Okay, the closest ER is St. Vic's. I'll have Linda call there and see if he brought her in. It could be she hit the pregnancy limit and just got too tired. Linda did that a lot especially with Jack, try not to worry. I'll do what I can."

Linda made calls to several of her nurse friends at several hospitals. No one had Eddie as a patient in their ER. Danny tried to use the information to soothe Jamie but it only served to make him more upset.

"Let's go home," he said to Claudia after she finished the desired dance with Frank. "Max hasn't been alone with the sitter this long, even if it is Erin. I want to go to our son."

"The dance isn't over, it's got another forty minutes…" Claudia snapped.

"Then get a cab to take you," Jamie replied. "I'm going home to our son."

Claudia got up and glared at Jamie, but she did start moving toward the door without further protest.

When Jamie returned to work on Monday, Kara was the first person he sought out. "Have you heard from Eddie? She left that benefactor dance looking really sick."

"That explains it, I texted her three or four times Saturday and Sunday and she never replied. I'll try her again later and see if she answers. If not, I'll drive out there tomorrow I'm off," Kara told Jamie. "I'm sure she's okay, maybe she lost her phone or she and Tom went on an overnight."

Jamie nodded, "She didn't look all right, Kara. Please text me when you find anything out."

Kara assured Jamie she would. Kara was worried as well, Eddie always returned her text even if she wasn't returning other people's. It was their thing, they would always connect to make sure things were okay.

Halfway through her tour, Eddie text Kara. "Hey, sorry I've been awol. I lost my phone on the way out of the dinner on Friday night and the new one just arrived. I asked Tom to text but he must have forgotten. I'm sorry you were worried. Please come see me, asap. I can't meet, on bedrest for a week or so…Thanks."

Kara text back immediately she would be in Long Island the following day.

"Hey, Reagan," Kara called out at end of their tour. "I heard back from Eddie, she lost her phone on Friday night and got her new one today. Should have emailed me to tell me, so I wasn't worrying but I guess…oh well."

"So she's okay?" Jamie asked, he still couldn't shake his bad feeling.

"She said she's on bedrest for a week or so, I didn't get the details, I'm going to see her tomorrow and see how she is," Kara replied. "I'll let you know, okay?"

Jamie nodded, "Kara, if I met you in the morning, could you get a message to her for me?"

Kara smiled, "Yes, I think I can do that, sure."

Jamie smiled, "I'll meet you by the coffee cart before tour, you can bring it out to her?"

Kara nodded, she felt bad for Jamie and Eddie. No two people were more suited and no two people had screwed up more.

The next morning, Jamie met Kara at the coffee cart with a small bag and card. Inside the bag were some of Eddie's favorite chocolates from the place she liked in Brooklyn and a note. "Please make sure she gets it, she can say the chocolate is from you if Tom asks?"

"Of course, I'll give her your best and I'll let you know what I can." Kara rubbed Jamie's arm and headed out to Long Island, she couldn't wait to find out what was going on.

Tom's housekeeper let Kara in, Eddie was upstairs in bed while Tom was at the office. Eddie pushed him to go to work so she could have some alone time with her friend. She needed to talk to Kara. Tom put up little fight though, Eddie knew why.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Kara gave Eddie a hug. She had her feet up and her back propped with pillows.

"I feel fine, Friday night I started to spot and I was cramping a little, so Tom rushed home and had the doctor out. He said I have to stay in bed a week or so, no heavy lifting, light duty at work, probably a desk until the baby comes…and no sex. Tom is not happy about that last part, so I guess Sue will have to work overtime."

Kara's brow arched, "Sue? What's a Sue?"

Eddie shifted in bed and put her hands on her belly, "Sue is Tom's assistant, not secretary, she'll correct you quickly. I found out by accident that they have a special relationship, but considering Jamie…I can't say much can I?"

"No, but I guess it goes to show that not everyone always ends up with the right person, they just end up with the person right at the moment," Kara sighed. "Try not to be upset about it, love is a strange thing, people do what they need to do to set things in the right order."

Kara reached into her bag, "From Jamie. A gift and a note…I'll just use the bathroom so you can read it in private."

Eddie smiled, Kara new her too well.

Eddie smiled, chocolate covered orange rind, one of her favorite things. She carefully opened the card and observed Jamie's neat hand writing on the yellow card.

 _Dearest Eddie,_

 _My heart broke when Kara told me of the complications with your pregnancy. I wish I was at your side now to comfort you and bring you whatever solace I could, I do know the worry for your child is like none other. I share this worry for my son every day._

 _While you are in bed, close those beautiful blue eyes, and picture me there, lying on the bed with you, holding you close. I will wait on you hand and foot, and make sure you have anything and everything you need to get through this time. I'm always there Eddie, even with distance and life between us, there's never a moment you are not in my thoughts, there is never a moment I don't wish I was with you through this._

 _My prayers are with you and the baby. If you do need me, please reach out through Kara or, as agreed, text in an emergency. I'll get to you as soon as I can after that. I only stay away because I don't want to cause you anymore stress or worry. You're happy with Tom, he's a good man, and I don't want to diminish that ever. I'm looking forward to the picture of your little angel…and of course, to Montana._

 _I love you,_

 _Jamie._

His words made her cry. Kara came out to find her friend in tears, "What am I doing? Why didn't I just…Why didn't I just…"

Kara took Eddie into her arms and rocked slowly. "Because you have families, Eddie. You both have families that need you, but you're also people with hearts and souls that need too. It might feel wrong, a lot of people will say it is wrong, but the heart wants what it wants and you can't always make that fit into someone else's vision. Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you to be what someone else needs. I think to be a good wife to Tom, and maybe for Tom to be a good husband to you, there's got to be a Jamie and a Sue."

"I supposed you're right," Eddie sniffled. "And it's done now, I can't leave now with the baby and Jamie really can't leave if his wife is that way…Max needs him. How about I get Anita to bring up some lunch and we share these chocolates. Then I have something I need you to bring to Jamie."

Eddie began to write on a piece of pretty pink stationary. She has to address Jamie's letter in her own way, with her own words.

 _My dear Jamie,_

 _Your gift and letter were very much appreciated. It warmed my heart to see your lovely words and I do feel you with me every minute of every day. I will put this letter in a very special place, so I can take it out and feel the strong connection we have even with miles between us._

 _Our night together was the most beautiful of my life. I felt our souls connect even as our bodies did, and when I close my eyes at night I conjure up the memory of your hands, your lips, and your words. I wish I was less hasty, I wish I gave you a chance to speak, so I could understand. I wish I had made a different choice. I wish you did too. I saw Claudia the other night, she was putting you on display, you're better than that. If you ever forget how special you are I'll remind you. You are so much more than a name._

 _Is there hope we'll ever be together, Jamie? Promise we will never stop trying whether it's 10 days, 10 months or 10 years from now... promise me, please?_

 _I love you with my whole heart, Jamie. My whole heart…_

 _Eddie_

Eddie put her lipstick on and placed kiss on the stationary, she sprayed her favorite perfume on the paper. "Please get this to him, through Danny if you can't do it yourself. Then tell Jamie to go to this website and click listen…He'll understand."

Kara nodded, "I'm glad you trust me to help you with this Eddie. I'm really glad…"

"Anything, what are friends for?" Kara asked. 'You rest up, okay? Text me and if you ever lose your phone again use Tom's, use your tablet and email me, don't leave me hanging that wasn't fair. Jamie and I were both panicked."

Eddie nodded, "I was scared, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry I scared you both, that wasn't fair."

"Don't worry about it, just don't repeat it," Kara replied. "You give your Mommy a break little one. Auntie Kara loves you." She patted Eddie's belly, gave her friend a hug and headed for home. Kara stopped after a few feet, "Eddie, do you want me to keep your note from Jamie?"

"No," Eddie said. "No, I have a place to hide it. Thanks though, I just can't let it go…" Eddie held the letter to her heart.

Claudia was working the night shift two days later when Danny knocked on his brother's door. He had Eddie's notes in his hand as well as a six pack. Jamie opened the door with Max in his arms.

"Hey, Danny, what brings you over?" Jamie asked.

"Couple things, the Amazon is working, you're hanging by yourself here, I have a letter from Eddie…"

Jamie smiled, 'Yeah, she liked my letter?"

"Kid, this letter stuff, very cute, very nice, very dangerous. Her husband or your wife could find it..." Danny sighed. 'But yes, word on the street is she did like the letter and here is the answer. Give me my nephew and a beer, you read…"

The scent of Eddie's perfume teased Jamie's nostrils as he opened the letter. Jamie sat down and read the letter, Eddie's hand was delicate and gentle, just like she was when not on the job. The words she wrote pulled at Jamie's heart.

"Promise we will never stop trying whether it's 10 days, 10 months or 10 years from now..." She wanted it too. Eddie shared his dreams, his desire to one day somehow be a couple. This was his dream, he wanted more than anything to make that come true. Max cooed and squealed in Danny's arms. Max was everything, his world…the one thing stopping him from picking up the phone, calling Eddie, and making plans to run away. They were finally on the same page with their feelings and their desires. "I'll find away a way to make it happen for us Eddie," Jamie vowed in his heart. "I set us on the wrong path years ago and I'll spend the rest of my life fighting to make it right."

Jamie felt it was torture to know who his soulmate was but not to have their lives joined. Eddie wanted her happily ever after with him and he would find a way, he had to.

Tears fell down Jamie's face, it was too much…just way too much for him to bottle up…his brother was here, the baby was taken care of…he could finally let it all go.

Danny heard Jamie's sobs, but knew it was better to hold the baby and let his brother have a release. It had to be Hell, absolute Hell, to love so much and not be able to be with her. Danny remembered Linda's shooting, the thought of going on without her…this had to be worse, Eddie was alive and well but still out of reach.

When Jamie quieted, Danny moved closer. "He was wet so I changed him and noticed he's got a little rash going on there…"

"Yeah, thanks, Danny," Jamie replied.

"Oh, you're supposed to put this link in your phone, Eddie's instructions…" Danny replied. Walsh would have kicked his ass if he forgot that, he had to report back to her on Jamie's reaction to the gift.

Jamie put the link into his cell and saw a play signal come up. He tapped the button and the music started…

 _Won't you meet me in Montana_

 _I want to see the mountains_

 _In your eyes_

 _Oh! Oh! I've had all of this life I can handle_

 _Meet me underneath that big Montana sky_

"Kid, how in the world did you screw up so bad?" Danny asked. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard but…Eddie's been the girl from day one…"

Jamie shook his head, he had no idea how this happened, only that it did happen and he and Eddie both had to live with the consequences. "I'll see you later, Kid," Danny said a little later. "I'm gonna go before the home. Take good care…" Danny gave Jamie a hug.

"See you Sunday, Danny," Jamie smiled as he took his son into his arms to put him to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The next few months were busy for both Jamie and Eddie, though it didn't mean that they weren't in each other's thoughts. When Jamie's birthday came in October, a Harvard mug with a bunch of his favorite candy arrived at the precinct. Kara gave him a wink. There was a funny card with a heartfelt note.

 _Dearest Jamie,_

 _We're not able to be together on this special day, your 36th birthday, but I want you to know you aren't far from my heart today or any day. Please accept this small gift, and remember our times in the radio car, joking about you and your Massachusetts chocolate cranberry cravings. Perhaps one day we'll be able to celebrate these special days together again, but for now, let's make a pact to celebrate our special days during one glorious week in Montana._

 _Happy Birthday._

 _All my love,_

 _Eddie_

Jamie smiled and nodded to his friend and colleague and scribbled a note back before hitting the streets. Jamie's tour was horrible, it was extended to twelve hours, and when he got home, he found the Nanny was still with Max. "Mrs. say she was going out tonight, and you take baby…" The woman told him.

"Yes, I will, thank you. Was he a good boy?" Jamie asked snuggling his little one to his chest. Max was growing so fast. The baby gave Jamie a grin full of drool.

Jamie popped a beer and returned a couple of calls from his family before Claudia got home. She was dressed to the nines, "You didn't put him to bed yet?"

"No, I wanted to spend time with him, and he's not tired," Jamie replied. "Did you have fun?"

Claudia rolled her eyes, "I was at a dinner, and that dashing Tom Manning, the one the designed and donated the training center…he was there with the blonde bimbo of his. He is such a gallant man."

Jamie nodded, "I am sure he is, Claudia, but I do know his wife. So do you, Eddie Janko, my ex-partner."

"Well she certainly married up," Claudia replied. "Gutter trash…father stole all their money, but Tom well…That's what you could be if you got out of your own way and grew a pair of balls!"

Jamie sighed and got up to put Max in his crib before the fight escalated. "I chose to follow my heart, not my wallet. I bet Tom Manning does the things he does to make up for the not so wonderful things he did making all that money."

"Just what I would expect from a sniveling little worm," Claudia shot back. "Degrade him because you'll never measure up to him."

Jamie nodded, "Right, of course that's what I do. Takes one to know one too,' Jamie defended. He didn't go as far as calling his wife trash, but Claudia got it anyway. Jamie instantly regretted that remark as a heeled shoe pieced his head leaving a trail of blood running down.

"There we go…" Jamie smiled. "My birthday gift from my wife. A shoe to the forehead, that's great."

Claudia looked up and saw the blood, "Oh baby, I'm sorry…" Her mood changed in an instant. Jamie bit his tongue as hers began to lick his lips as blood tricked down his face. It was a survival of the fittest, and he had to remain razor sharp… Sex with Claudia was something Jamie had begun to dread, he never thought of Eddie during these moments. He felt it would taint the beautiful experience he had with her

The ebb and flow of life swirled around the Reagans and the Mannings. Before anyone really realized it, Thanksgiving had passed and they were onto Christmas. Jamie, Claudia, and Eddie were very busy. It was the season of giving, but it was also the season of muggings, robberies and suicides. Even though Eddie was on the desk she was as swamped as any other office in the City or on Long Island.

On the night of December 14th, Eddie was heading home from a rare night in the city with some of her old friends, including Kara and Alex. She got into her car and started for home just as it was beginning to snow, her eight-month pregnant belly barely allowing her to reach the wheel.

Eddie turned onto the road just as it was beginning to snow. She turned on the radio and listened to various versions of Jingle Bells. She was about to merge onto the main highway when a sports car cut her off. She slammed on her breaks but it was too late. Eddie's tire caught a patch of ice, sending the car spinning three times in a circle before hitting a concrete barrier. The airbag deployed and sent Eddie's body bouncing…Her head hit the wheel…The last thing she consciously remembered was a gush of water before pain sliced through her back.

Linda was on the ER desk when the alert of a woman, eight months pregnant, and in labor came over the dispatch radio. Linda diligently got the trauma room ready, and said a prayer for the woman and her baby.

The very last person Linda expected to see on the stretcher was Eddie Janko Manning, but there was in, conscious but a little confused and laboring intensely. "Have you called her husband? He's on the board at several hospitals, Tom Manning,' Linda asked the medics.

"No, she was unresponsive at first, we go her here as fast as we could. Six centimeters dilated, fully effaced, membranes ruptured, but it was traumatic."

Linda nodded and followed Eddie to the trauma room with two doctors and another nurse. When she saw Eddie was in good hands, she stepped aside to call Jamie.

Jamie was finishing with Max's diaper at the family home in Bay Ridge when he got the call. "Jamie, I don't know if you want to know this but your ex-partner, was just brought in from a car accident and she's laboring hard and fast. We haven't been able to reach her husband yet and she might benefit…"

Jamie didn't have to think, "Dad, I've got to go! Linda called and Eddie, she's in labor after a crash and they can't find Tom."

"Go go, I'll hang with Max here," Frank replied taking the baby as Jamie all but ran out the door.

"Here comes another," Linda coached holding Eddie's hand in her own. "Relax into it…keep breathing, don't stop your breathing…"

Jamie heard Linda's voice and Eddie's cries as he approached her room. "Are you the father?" the orderly asked.

"No, I'm her partner," Jamie replied quickly. "I was called."

Linda heard Jamie's voice and popped her head out between the intense contractions. "Come on in, Jamie. I'm trying by best to calm her down but she's scared and I can't blame her. The accident almost certainly totaled the car and the contractions are coming hard and fast. We finally got a hold of Tom, but he's at least an hour away with the snow and ice."

Jamie nodded, "Of course, I'll do what I can."

Jamie approached Eddie's side, she was having an intense contraction, Jamie simply took her hand and let her squeeze it. "That's the way," Jamie said softly. "That's really good Eddie, focus on my face… just look at me…"

Their eyes locked, and the fear began to taper out of Eddie's blue eyes. Jamie was here, and just like old times things always felt all right when he was with her. Their trust was implicit always had been.

That contraction passed, and Eddie leaned back against the bed. "What…How…" She panted in exhaustion.

"Linda called me, Tom's delayed because of the weather, and anyway you and I have done harder things right?" Jamie dabbed Eddie's forehead with a damp cloth. "Deep breath, Eddie, here we go again." Jamie's eyes watched the monitor, "Do you want an epidural or something like that?"

"No, I want to experience this…" Eddie groaned. "You're right here it is…" Eddie tried to recall her classes but Tom had been the one to pay attention. She figured that was his job, she had to do the rest of the hard work. "Relax when you're having them and breathe, do not stop breathing. It's just like those training courses we took together, okay? Just like that…"

Eddie's contractions were coming every four minutes and lasting at least a minute to a minute and half. She barely had time to rest between them. "How much more can she take? The doctors are saying the head is only at 0 station and eight centimeters she could be laboring like this for hours yet."

"She's young and strong," Linda reminded Jamie. "If OB feels we need to go and get the baby, I'm sure they'll go, but all her vitals are good, she's just tired. Encourage her to rest in between, I'll get an ETA on the husband."

For another twenty-five minutes, Jamie coached Eddie's labor. In between contractions she fell back against the bed, eyes closed, it was too much effort to keep them open. "You're doing so great, Eddie," Jamie encouraged. "So great, I'm so proud of you…your baby is going to be here soon…think about that. What color did you paint the room?"

"Green," Eddie murmured. "Water please.."

Jamie fed Eddie a few ice chips and let her rest. In the middle of her next contraction Tom arrived, "I'm here, honey," Tom told Eddie kissing her hand. "I'm here."

Eddie kept hold of Jamie's hand until the pain passed, "Thank you," Tom said to Jamie. "For helping my wife."

The words my wife stung, but it was true. Eddie was Tom's wife, and Claudia was his. That's the way the fates had dealt the cards. "Anytime," Jamie replied. 'Congratulations to you both."

Jamie took his leaved and let Tom take over. He walked out the door and past Linda not saying a word. He had no intention of going home, but no intention of sticking around either. At her first opportunity, Linda text Danny, "Go find Jamie..."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Danny knew his brother well and he knew if he wasn't home or at their dad's place he was at O'Keefe's. Danny drove his car there and parked just outside sure enough Jamie's car was also there.

Danny headed in and found his brother nursing a beer at the far end of the bar. "How you doing Kid? Linda was worried when you left she thought you might hang out to see the baby born."

Jamie laughed, "I have no problem jumping in and helping you know? I will always be there for whatever Eddie needs, but she's married and so am I. We made our beds and we lie in them with other people, except in Montana where…"

Danny nodded, "If that even happens is what you are wondering right?"

Jamie nodded, "She said so, but she's going to have a three month old baby, is she going to want to leave for a week just to be with me. Our families are complete, we made love so we know what it's like, and that's it…"

"If Eddie said she'll be there, she will, you have to trust that," Danny advised. "You do. Now let's have one more beer, and if you don't want to go back and peek in on the baby we'll go home, huh?"

Danny bought both beers for his brother and shared a plate of nachos. Minutes before he paid the check, Linda texted Danny. "Baby Girl Manning is here, 5 lbs 13 oz, mother and baby are doing just fine."

Danny smiled, "The baby's born. A little girl…"

"Eddie wanted a girl," Jamie smiled. "She'll be a fabulous mother to a girl, she loves all those girl type things."

"Linda said Tom is out for the night, if you want to go see them…just a peek?" Danny knew how his brother longed to see this baby and his partner.

"Okay, just a peek."

Jamie tiptoed into Eddie's hospital room, Danny set himself up as a guard. Eddie was sound asleep; the trauma of the accident and birth had exhausted her. In the small crib across from the bed, lay a teeny baby girl, also tired from her big adventure. Jamie carefully peered down at the innocent little newborn. "Hey, honey…Look at you…look at those little fingers…"

Eddie heard a voice and woke up, "Jamie?" Eddie turned her head. "How are you here?" she smiled.

"Linda…I had to see you after…You were having such a hard labor, but she's here huh? She's so adorable," Jamie smiled. 'How do you feel?"

"Tired, but happy,' Eddie replied. "So, happy, she is…" Eddie moved to try to get up and get her little one. "They put her all the way over there…how am I…"

"I'll get her," Jamie replied. 'If you don't mind I'd like to hold her a minute."

"Of course," Eddie replied. "She's tiny, hold her head…"

Jamie smiled, 'Max was this tiny once…well not this tiny," he smiled. "She's very petite."

Carefully, Jamie lifted the newborn girl and carried her to Eddie. "Oh my, yes…" He cooed to the baby girl. "Aww, hello…" Jamie handed the baby to Eddie'. She held her to her chest with a huge smile.

"You're a natural, look how she just curls into you like that, she knows you're Mommy," Jamie marveled and tickled the baby's little foot. "What's her name? Did you pick one yet?"

"Oh yes," Eddie replied. 'Her name is April Sarah Manning."

"April Sarah is pretty," Jamie replied. "Any significance?"

"Sarah was my mother's name," Eddie replied. "And Tom's grandma too, but April…That month has so much significance for me now, so much meaning in my heart…" Eddie held Jamie's gaze as she rocked the little girl slowly. "Every time I say my daughter's name, I'll think of that significance. She's so very precious and so is that time we had last April in Montana."

Jamie's eyes flashed with doubt, then forced a smile. "Yes, that's very important to me too. I'm so glad that you and April are healthy and doing so well."

Eddie saw the flash in Jamie's eyes, a flash of pain and doubt, she knew him so well. Eddie's face softened, "Jamie, I'm going to be there. If what I see in your eyes is doubt, you don't need to worry, I'll be there. It meant as much to me, Jamie…I promise you it did. I will be there."

Jamie reached out and touched Eddie's cheek, "I'll be there, too. Meet you in the back of the lounge…"

"You're on," Eddie replied. Eddie yawned and the little baby kicked inside the swaddling.

"Can you please but her back into her bed? I'm so tired." Eddie yawned again. Jamie gave Eddie a soft kiss on the head then rubbed the baby's forehead. "May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace."

"Amen," Eddie and Jamie both said softly before Jamie picked April up and gently laid her back in her little bed. "Here we go, let's go by Mommy now…so she can get to you when you get fussy…" Jamie wheeled the bed over to Eddie's side. "Take care okay?"

Eddie nodded as her eyes grew heavy, Jamie carefully slipped out of the door giving each sleeping girl a soft kiss before he went.

"Jamie, listen to this…Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Manning request the honor of your presence at the Baptism of their daughter April Sarah…' Claudia's brows arched. "What kind of a name is April Sarah?"

"Eddie's always been a little out there with names but I think it's pretty," Jamie replied. "I heard from Linda the baby is really pretty so maybe April…cause it's her favorite month or something," Jamie shrugged.

"Well, I'm RSVPing yes even though it's next week, that's a man we should stay close to," Claudia smiled. "You should wear the grey suit, it makes you look taller."

Jamie sighed, "Okay…we'll find an appropriate gift for the little one as well…"

The christening came way to fast for Jamie's liking. He knew Eddie was married, he knew they each had families, but having to go to a party hosted by Eddie and her husband turned his stomach. He pulled his car up to the door of the huge home in Manhasset, a valet took the car to be parked while Claudia took Jamie's arm. Tom and his assistant, Sue, were on the receiving line. Eddie was nowhere to be seen. "So, nice to see you again, Jamie," Tom smiled and shook his hand. "And it's Claudia right?"

They moved into the house, the ceiling was high, the staircase was winding, this home was far beyond anything that Jamie would have fathomed and beyond anything he could ever give to Eddie. This was what she deserved, a queen deserved a palace.

Jamie found his friends from the 12th, many of them were there including Kara and Renzulli. "I'm just going to say hello to Sarge," Jamie told Claudia who was already busy finding politicians and bankers to flirt with.

Jamie found Eddie with her former friends, she was smiling, in a purple suit and white blouse. She was holding April in her arms in a pretty dress, totally in her element. She had grown up like this, this was her life, her world…the NYPD was like a pseudolife…not her, just a part of her.

Jamie turned and headed to the open bar Tom set up and asked for a whiskey. Eddie looked at her old partner and friend, he was doing straight whiskey, he only did that in really bad moods. Eddie looked at Kara…"The upstairs closet…get him in there and please watch April…I need to talk to him."

"Eddie, what about the once a year thing?" Kara asked. "This is crazy now…it's risky…"

"I know, and once we're settled maybe it will be that except for emergencies but now…please do this for me…"

Kara sighed, "Okay, go up and wait for me. When I bring him I'll take April and put her down for a nap. Go on…"

Eddie hurried up the steps and Kara sighed. She appeared at Jamie's side and tugged his arm "Follow me."

Kara led Jamie up a straight back staircase to the master bedroom where Eddie had her own walk in closet. "What are we doing, Kara? It's bad enough you can park my apartment in the hallway, I don't need a tour…"

"Reagan, chill…" Kara rolled her eyes. 'You know Eddie is really beer and pretzels not champagne and caviar…She's waiting for you in there…"

Kara gave Jamie a shove, Eddie caught his hand and pulled Jamie inside the closet before handing Kara the baby and shutting the door.

"What….Okay, this closet is much nice than your usual choices but why are we in here…?" Jamie asked.

"Because you are so damn cute when you're jealous," Eddie laughed. 'And you have no reason to be jealous because you have your life, I have my life, and we have our time together coming up very soon in Montana."

Jamie sighed, "I'm just looking around thinking you certainly made a good choice in husbands, Tom has given you so much…"

"Tom is a good man, he's rich, he's sweet…he's all the things a girl dreams of when she's little. I don't have to work, I work because I choose to work and that's all good. But we have something really special Jamie. You know we do…"

Jamie looked down at the floor, "He's living my life,' Jamie said after a minute. "Tom is living my life…If I made different choices…"

"You didn't," Eddie replied. "You didn't make different choices, neither did I. These are the choices we live with, our little families and our special time…"

Eddie closed her eyes, reached up and slid her arms around Jamie. "I love you, I never say that to Tom…even when he says it to me. Trust me not everything is as it appears to be on the surface." Eddie's lips parted and this time she was the one to initiate the kiss. "No more green eyed monster, Tom might have my time and my presence but you have my heart and one day we will be together, we will keep that promise."

Jamie's hand settled on Eddie's waist, "You look so different now…good, but different, like a hot librarian…hair up…suit…not my Eddie…"

"I'm still your Eddie inside…and you…are not my Jamie…the green eyed monster took his place…" Eddie tickled Jamie's side, you think the bun is hot hah?" Eddie tickled Jamie's side.

"Do not tickle me…" Jamie warned , already beginning to laugh. "Don't…" Eddie pursued him until he was nearly in tears. "Stop being silly jealous and let's have a party? The old house is down there…let's have a good time. Come on…green green go away, never again come out to play…"

Jamie began to laugh, his musical laughter accompanied by his 1000 watt grin. Eddie's eyes danced, "Now that is my Jamie… Come on, let's have a beer, no whiskey for you…"

Eddie went to the nursey to get April, the baby was cooing not sleeping. Jamie headed down stairs and picked up a beer making a private toast to Montana.

Kara smiled at Eddie when she returned to the room, "Everything okay?"

"The green eyed monster bit him," Eddie laughed. "We talked it's okay, thanks so much for this…"

"What are friends for?" Kara asked as Eddie joined Jamie and other officers from the 12th.

Baby April made the rounds in that room, after five or six people, she started to fuss. Eddie went to her baby, the little girl was waving her arms and screwing up her face. Before she was passed over to her Mommy, she landed in Jamie's arms. The father of five months looked the child over and saw the problem immediately. With a twist of his finger he fixed the knot in the sleeve of her outfit that was the cause of her tears. "All better, short stuff," Jamie cooed. 'We fixed it…We fixed it…" Jamie dropped a kiss on April's head. The photographer snapped a picture sealing that moment for eternity.

The groups converged for the main course, Tom's political and architect friends socializing with members of the NYPD and Nassau PD. Claudia was making short work of the champagne fountain and surprised Jamie when she wanted to see the baby. Tom was holding his daughter, that ended the surprise. Claudia fawned over the infant, more than she did over Max. Jamie shook his head and took his seat as the first course was served.

Eddie meticulously directed everything from the pace to the flow of the food. Jamie felt pride now though, not jealousy, her words had done much to make him forget that feeling.

"She is so small, and you're such a tall man," Claudia said to Tom. "Takes after her mother?"

"Eddie is petite," Tom replied.' "But she's an SVU detective with Nassau PD and she actually is going back to work next week."

This was news to Jamie, but he was glad of it. Conventions would be hard if Eddie decided to be a stay at home Mom.

"she's going back to work?" Claudia though that was insane. "I mean I did but I had to go back, but…"

"Eddie's her own person, and she likes to work," Tom replied as April spit up on his jacket. "If you'll excuse me…"

It seemed seeing the innocent baby in Tom's arms softened Claudia just a bit. She turned to Jamie, "I need to spend more time with Max. I don't remember him ever being that small…"

"He wasn't," Jamie replied. "He was a touch bigger and he's a strong boy now. I think it's a good idea to see him more often, I love every minute I have with him."

Claudia nodded, "Maybe tomorrow night we can take him and go out to eat dinner?"

Jamie nodded, "Sure, that would be really nice. He'd enjoy that…"

"Reagan, come here a minute…" Renzulli called out.

Jamie excused himself but Claudia kept her eyes on him. If Tom Manning and so many other important men thought she did well with Jamie Reagan…maybe she would have to see it from another angle.

As the party drew to a close, Eddie and Tom stood with godparents Kara and Tom's cousin Jack, shaking hands and saying goodbye. As Claudia and Jamie passed them and paid their respects, Claudia pulled on Jamie's tie and laid a big kiss on his lips. Jamie put his arm around her back out of reflex until they separated. Eddie's eyes nearly shot out of her head at the demonstration of affection, that was her Jamie…she kissed him…

Eddie came out of her shock when she heard Kara's voice in her ear, "The green little monster is in your eyes now my friend."

Eddie gave her friend an elbow to the ribs, bit her lip, and went back to saying goodbye to her guests, after all Jamie was a married man, and there were only 79 days until Montana.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Reagan, Patterson, my office," Renzulli called when Jamie arrived for roll call two weeks later. Jamie was surprised to see Eddie sitting in the Sarge's office, wearing her customary work bun and her gold badge.

"Detective Janko, Nassau PD," he said smiling. "Reagan was Janko's TO back in the day and since we're going to be sharing jurisdiction with Nassau on this, I thought it would be a good idea to have some familiar blood."

What Renzulli wasn't telling them was this order came from the top. The Commissioner was wanting to really see Jamie and Eddie interact again, and they needed this rapist caught fast. The man spent his time kidnapping and molesting kids up and down the southern shore and had been spotted in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and the Bronx. The Nassau Commissioner had called Frank personally asking for a joint task force to be led by his best SVU detective. When Frank heard it was Eddie he agreed.

"Sure thing, Boss," Jamie replied. "Detective Janko…" They shook hands and Eddie smiled deeply. The touch was electric even just his skin on hers warmed her whole body. It was a good thing that Patterson was basically clueless.

"You'll see here," Eddie began as she slid her hand back and pulled out a manila file. "A pattern has formed with attacks on little girls, all blonde haired and blue eyed, all between 4' and 4'4" tall, all a little chubby but not overly so, and all between 5 and 7 years old. It began with fondling, it escalated to object rape…and now…the last two, it's murder." Eddie looked hard at Patterson, "Go outside, get some air…" The rookie was close to losing his coffee.

"He's too green for this," Eddie replied. "Get me Walsh, Regetti, McKenna, I'll even take Beal, I need two strong cops Sarge."

Renzulli nodded, "I'll take care of it. Go ahead."

"We have a good description of the perp," Eddie continued. "He's a white male, late forties to early fifties, grey hair receding…the children that are still alive all report the same issue…he smells funny. Our tests have indicated that the funny smell is alcohol, specially vodka. They also indicate he has a body odor and a moderate accent, tapes indicate it's eastern European but we can't detect the dialect."

Jamie's brain was working overtime, Eddie was so collected, so calm, and so damn beautiful. "Okay so what's the next step?" he asked.

"Finding his next victim," Eddie replied. "He leaves clues, subtle clues, but this last girl…she's a bright kid and called 911 when she received the flowers and the underwear. Only she did it from a cell phone she borrowed off a person on the street and we don't have a location on her. We have to find her before the rapist does…"

"She didn't give us a name?" Jamie asked.

Eddie shook her head, "When we tracked the phone to a house in East New York, the woman said the child was frightened and crying. She reported the items but not her name or even her age."

"So we're looking for a needle in a haystack," Jamie sighed.

"Yep," Eddie replied. "And we're running out of time. This guys was making a grab once every ten days…now it's once ever 72 hours…let's move."

On Frank's command, every precinct in the entire City of New York began to send officers to the school to question the girls fitting the description. It was a needle in a haystack…

"So, did you ask for me?" Jamie asked as he and Eddie walked the streets of East New York with a composite sketch of the girl made from the description the good Samaritan that let the scared child use their cell phone.

"No, but I'm not upset I got you,' Eddie replied. 'You're a good cop and I'm thrill you made Sergeant, but Patterson?"

"Oh, he's done already, he just doesn't know it yet," Jamie replied. "Nothing like you or even Beal, he's…just not there."

They continued to walk up and down and passed a snap dog vendor, automatically Jamie stopped and ordered, "Two with onions…" Eddie's usual.

"You know me too well," Eddie laughed.

"Yeah, I do. That's why, I'm glad that we're partnered up. A case like this is gonna eat at you Eddie, it's already got you overly invested…"

"Jamie, these girls are still babies! One of these days, it could be my baby or even your baby. When I work SVU, I think about that stuff."

"I know you do, I do too, I worry about Max too, let's just keep focused, okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm in control of this, Jamie. I've been doing it over a year and I'm good at it. Please do not worry, I don't need that, I need a strong partner that can work this case."

Jamie stopped and smiled at Eddie, 'she had some onion on her nose. He wiped it off, just like old times, "Then you've got it."

For nine hours, Jamie and Eddie combed the streets, they kept coming back to the same location, the place where the girl asked to use the phone. If the SOB was true to form he would send one more present before making the grab, perhaps the scared child would come back to this place, a place where, for at least a moment she felt safe.

"My feet…" Eddie sighed as she sat down in the booth at the diner where they stopped for a later dinner.

"The canvas turned up nothing? Thousands of cops and they got nothing!" Jamie was beginning to get frustrated. He had the longest fuse of anyone that Eddie knew, but even he was running out of calm energy.

"I know it's frustrating for me too, but we have to keep our eyes on the prize, and not get distracted. We're all this little one has, thousands of cops might be a lot but there's one or two that will connect with a victim or a perp and that's it. You taught me that, shake it off and eat some fries."

Jamie was proud of Eddie, she was calm and confident, just like he taught her to be. Even in the face of defeat, she kept her head. No wonder her CO picked her to spearhead this even if she was just back from leave. She was in total control, even given the emotional level of this case. She was in total control. "Let's finish our break and go back with clearer head."

Jamie smiled, and asked, "How is the little shorty?"

"She's good," Eddie replied smiling as she thought of her baby girl. "She's very good, getting so big already. She's almost 6.5 lbs and she did grow, so you can't keep calling her shorty or short stuff for long. I miss her. I haven't seen her much in the last few days."

"It's rough going back to work after, it was for me even," Jamie empathized. "But think when this is solved you'll have more time for her again. More motivation right?"

"Right." Eddie made short work of the plate of fries and grilled cheese she ordered before going back to the 12th and back to the board.

Jamie was taking a nap when the call came in to 911…Eddie grabbed the transfer the moment that it rang through. "Damn it!" Eddie exploded.

"What is it? Jamie asked sitting up straight. 'What happened?"

"He made the grab, he's got his next victim…." Eddie threw her pen and put her head in her hands. "But this is good, we got a break, we got a break! Patrol said he dropped a motel receipt from his last grab…Motel 6 near Erskine Street. Let's go!"

Eddie was bouncing off the walls with excitement, it was a tough break their perp actually made his grab, but he'd gotten sloppy, now was their chance to strike!

Three hours later Eddie was passing out the sketch they created from the desk clerk. "This is our perp, Michael Frasier, second generation America…we are passing the sketch out to every hotel and motel in the area.I want cars sitting at all the major exits. He usually goes at least 15 miles away from the girls' homes, this area here is likely clear, but he's a smart SOB…We have less than a day now to find this little girl. That's all it takes for him so let's do it! I know we can get this SOB…all right that's it!"

Eddie's adrenaline was pumping and she chased down dead end after dead end with Jamie. They were running out of time for this poor little girl. "We need to split up, we can cover more turf, we'll stay in touch by radio."

Jamie was reluctant but much to his chagrin in this state, Eddie was the lead on the operation, he had no choice but to listen. "Okay, check in every fifteen minutes?"

Eddie nodded, "Be careful," she told Jamie with a softness in her voice that hinted of worry.

"Be safe," Jamie echoed as they separated to do their jobs.

They each made the check in over the next two and a half hours, but Eddie missed the three hour check in, the three hour fifteen, and the three and a half. Jamie felt like he was going to be sick…where was Eddie?

Eddie snuck into the back of the model home off a quiet Brooklyn street. Her contact at the bureau pulled an address for her just minutes ago, there was no time to waste if little Ellen Chambers was in that house. Jamie would understand, as soon as she had Ellen she'd make contact and bring in back up to make the bust. Getting the little girl was top priority.

Keeping her back to the wall, Eddie scanned the rooms of the modular home. It appeared to be empty, but her gut told her it wasn't, that there was another person…

Eddie stepped carefully, she touched the walls, the floor, looking for cracks. Finally, under a throw rug she felt a hinge. Carefully, Eddie worked the door opened the trap door and crept down he dusty steps. In the corner, tied with old bloodied bandages, was little Ellen. Eddie held her breath, she had to be quick, all the hair was standing on the back of her neck. She was shaking, but this baby girl was her priority.

Eddie carefully approached the little girl and smiled, "Hey, is your name Ellen. I'm Detective Eddie and I'm going to take you home okay? Can you be a brave girl and come with me up the steps?"

The child was frozen solid and shaking like a leaf. "I know you're scared, I'd be scared too but I promise your Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you…"

Eddie heard the sound of a slamming car door, her heart pounding. The door creaked open, "Okay honey, I need you to trust me now and be very quiet…"

Eddie knew on her own she could make a break for it, but she wasn't leaving without this precious little girl. She just wasn't.

Ellen finally let Eddie pick her up, Eddie fixed her one arm around Ellen's mouth and ran upstairs and into the kitchen's linen closet. She heard Michael going down the steps, heard his rage when Ellen was not there…she had seconds, but if she didn't' make it out…if he got them…

"Honey, be very quiet, do not make a sound," Eddie told Ellen. "Be a brave girl…it's going to be okay I promise."

Ellen had huge tears running out of her little eyes but was quiet like Detective Eddie said. Eddie listened to the footsteps, she counted…he was coming closer. The voice, making Eddie's hair stand on end, sounded like a man possessed by the spirit of a little boy.

"Ellie…I have a surprise for you…" he called. "Come out come out…"

Ellen looked at Eddie, Eddie offered her a soft smile, 'You're so brave…" Eddie mouthed as the footsteps kept getting closer. Eddie could run out and hit him, but she might get caught and then Ellen would be left to her own devices…If he did catch them…

As Michael's hand reached for the knob, jiggling it, Eddie said a prayer.

"Well, well," Michael gave an evil smile. "What do we have here…" Michael snatched Eddie with his grubby hand and pulled her out of the closet. "Stupid bitch?!" He yanked Eddie by her hair dragging her and Ellen. "You are gonna pay for this! I'm taking you to meet my friends in Chinatown! Move!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Eddie's heart was beating in her chest, how did she get out of this? How did she fight back and protect Ellen too? She had no choice, right now she had to play ball. While Michael was obsessed with Ellen, Eddie worked her hand into her purse and dropped her Chinese silk coin purse, the one she and Jamie bought her second day on the job eating egg rolls. He would know where to look, or at least where to start.

"It's been four hours since Detective Janko made her check in," Renzulli said to the men at the 12th. "FBI and NCIC show an address in Queens for Frasier, and there are a few alternates that we are waiting for confirmation on, let's hit this house, be safe, full armor!"

Jamie was ready to run, he had to find Eddie, He had to find her! This was his Eddie, his partner, his soulmate. He had to find her, if he didn't…there was so much wrong that he couldn't make right.

Cops stormed the modular home, shields, weapons, and all…." Police!" Jamie called out. "Police!"

The cops checked the house, inside and outside, but there was no sign of Eddie, Ellen, or Michael. "There's foot prints out here…two sets, both adults."

"Get CSI on it now," Jamie commanded, trying to keep his head together. "Search every inch of this place…tear it apart"

Jamie and a team searched the inside of the house, they found the trap door and the bed, and began to process it for evidence. Jamie was looking for something else though, he was looking for clues…

"Come on, Eddie, you had to know I'd come looking," Jamie sighed. "Where did you leave it, I know you left something for me…"

Jamie looked in closets, under tables, all along the perimeter of the room. Finally in the last closet Jamie looked in, he saw it, Eddie's silk coin purse. The one he bought her on the sidewalk. "Thank you, Eddie!" Jamie smiled. "Hey Danny!" Jamie ran and found his brother.

"Eddie dropped this purse," Jamie told his brother. "This is hers, I bought it for her on the sidewalk the second day we were partners! He's taking her to Chinatown! Give me that list of addresses!"

Danny and Jamie compared the addresses, "Here's one here, in Chinatown and this neighborhood it's know for the black market. Okay, listen up, we 've got an address, let's regroup back at the house, we cannot blow this or we lose them both. Regroup now!"

When Danny and Jamie arrived back at the 12th, Tom was there with Sue and April in his arms. He had tears running down his cheeks, looking at baby April. "She'll never know, she will never know how wonderful her mother was. How much she loved. How much she tried to save people…

Jamie heard Tom's defeated words and spun on his heel, "Don't you dare!" Jamie thundered lurching at Tom. "Don't you dare say that about Eddie! We are going to find Eddie and bring her back alive and well! We, the cops, the people that are trainined to stick together and believe in each other. What the Hell kind of husband are you?"

Danny had to pull Jamie back by the collar to get him away from Tom's neck. "Calm down, Kid, lock it, now…" Danny hauled his brother back to get him to settle down.

"Whoa," Danny chased Jamie out of the restroom. "Cool down and let's find her. We need to find them! Hit the lights!"

"Get in there!" Michael shouted at Eddie pushing her down a flight of steps with Ellen in her arms. "The kid is mine, but you…" Michael looked her up and down. "I have a friend that will like you, not a lot of blondes where he comes from. It's…exotic…"

Eddie spit in his eye, 'You pig…you can have me if you want me but let the girl go, she's a baby…"

"So where they…" Michael scoffed. "Once…they were too good to sell, but they're too old and played out now I have new little friend."

Michael's hand shot out to touch Ellen's cheek. Eddie slapped his hand away, "Don't touch her. You want her you have to get through me."

It was on, Eddie pushed little Ellen to the side and looked to see what she could use as a weapon. Michael had tossed her purse and her phone as they rode to Chinatown. She saw a six pack in the corner, when Michael lunged for Ellen, Eddie made her move. Eddie grabbed a beer bottle and broke it, lunging at Michael with a primal scream.

Eddie didn't hear the sirens approaching from inside the bunker, all she heard were screams, both Michael's as she slashed him with the bottle and the three young girls witnessing the carnage. Eddie felt such instinct well up in her, the urge to fight and protect…she was a mother now and these weren't her children, but they were children and they needed someone to fight for them.

Michael got his licks in, he kicked, he bit, he punched, but Eddie was determined. She didn't give up, she kept up the fight.

Jamie, Danny, and their fellow officers checked their weapons and stormed into the old house. "Police!" Jamie yelled. "Eddie! Eddie, where are you!" Jamie knew she was here, he knew she was close, he could feel her. "Eddie!"

Eddie heard Jamie's voice, she didn't hear back up, but she heard Jamie. With one mighty swing of her leg, Eddie caught Michael in the crotch. She finished him off with a bottle to the back of the head, then stepped on his neck. "Ellie, honey, go open the door and let the policeman down here…go on, be brave now."

Ellen ran up and opened the door so the cops could flood in. Danny went to take over with Michael so Eddie could catch her breath and settle down with Jamie. "Eddie!" Jamie called out. She was a little bumped, a little bruised, but still very much alive.

The moment Eddie saw Jamie, she ran to him. All she wanted to do was be held in his arms. Her adrenaline was pumping, all her senses were on full alert. Eddie ran full speed to Jamie, and threw herself in his arms, not caring who saw them.

Jamie was so relieved at first to see Eddie alive, he didn't feel his fury. Jamie caught Eddie in his arms and held her in close and tight. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm good…" Eddie replied. "Good…I couldn't…there are two more, they…" Eddie couldn't speak in complete sentences as she waited to settle down.

"Yeah, Danny and the others are getting them up…" Jamie was angry, and the more he tried to hide it the more he felt it. "I can't believe you did this Eddie…I can't believe you did this!"

Danny could tell by Jamie's tone he was about to lose it, so he quickly separated Jamie from Eddie until she was finished with the CO. Jamie stood near her the entire time, he had to stay close…it was hard on him, her disappearing and he had to have his say. Ellen was reunited with her family right there at the scene. The other two girls needed to be processed and IDed, they were in bad shape mentally but thanks to Eddie, they had a chance.

When everything was said and done, Danny cleared the room to give Jamie and Eddie their privacy. Eddie reached back for Jamie, "Oh, I was so scared," she finally admitted. "I thought this was it…I didn't think I'd ever see you…"

"That's right Eddie!" Jamie erupted. "You didn't think! Yes, maybe what you did was heroic, and it save three lives tonight, countless more other nights, but you could have been killed. You could have been slaughtered by that animal!"

"Jamie, I.." Eddie began to try to soothe him. "I know that, and I…I know it was wrong to go out of the book like that, but everything in me told me I had to protect that little girl. I'm a mother now…you're a father, you would have done the same thing if you…"

"No, I wouldn't have!" Jamie snapped. "I'd have waited for back up because I would have been thinking about something else besides the job, I'd have been thinking about you and what it would feel like if I got killed. But you didn't think about me, did you? Did you?!"

Jamie was pacing like a caged tiger, all his fear, all his anger pouring out at Eddie. "Of course I did, I knew you would find me Jamie. I trusted it, I knew in my heart of hearts that you were going to find that purse in the closet and know….I wasn't in danger, Jamie. You were coming for me."

"What if I was too late?" Jamie asked. "I've been too late before, what if I was again huh?'

"Jamie…" Eddie tried again to get him to stand still.

Jamie spun around on his heel, "You know what, I'm done with this. I'm done with whole damn thing! You put your life in jeopardy no account to how I would end up living without you! You gave no account to how I would feel, never mind your baby! I can't do this anymore, I just can't!"

Jamie moved to the steps, but Eddie chased him down. "Don't say that, Jamie I love you. You're angry and scared now, but that will pass. Please don't say we're through, please don't break my heart again…"

It took all of Jamie's resolve not to scoop Eddie into his arms and hold her then and there. He bit his lip and pushed it down. Eddie had shown just as little regard for him and his feelings as Claudia would have, that's what hurt deep down.

Eddie took Jamie's silence as her answer. The tears bit her eyelids but she wouldn't cry, not in front of him, not when he was throwing away their shot, their chance to be together again in just six weeks. "Okay, if that's how you want it…I'm not going to make you do something you're finished with. Go home to your wife, I'll go to my husband, that's how you wanted it before, far be it from me." Eddie headed to the door. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

Jamie was still silent, Eddie opened the door and saw Danny standing there. "I think he needs you, Danny. We just…we just broke up."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Danny hurried into the room, Jamie had his arms wrapped around his middle and looked like he might be sick. "Hey, kid, what's going on. Eddie just left and said you broke up…"

Jamie's deep breath came out a sob, "Danny she could have been killed and she didn't even care! She didn't even think… Eddie is the love of my life I can't live this lie anymore!"

'I know you're upset now, but Eddie's a good cop, trained by one of the best. You can't ask her to go against her gut anymore than I could ask you to go against your head. The thing you love about her made you mad tonight," Danny replied. 'It's the thing Linda loves in me that makes her furious too, but you love her because of it and in spite of it, don't walk away! Don't do this to yourself!"

Danny's wise words did nothing to quell Jamie's anger, Eddie went off alone, no back up, no help and put them in that position…"I can't believe she would do this to me...to us. We deserve our chance, our time, we do! But she doesn't want it, if she did, she'd never have been so reckless. We're done!"

Danny moved to block Jamie's hysterical pacing , "Jamie, you need Eddie kid, Claudia will eat you alive without her. When Claudia rips you down, Eddie brings you up. I've seen you come alive again since Montana and I don't' want to see that light die in your eyes again. Be angry, fear is a great way to get really pissed off, but don't be stupid!"

Jamie turned to Danny, tears running down his cheeks. He couldn't speak, he could hardly breath. He knew his temper got the best of him and he said things he was already sorry for, but he couldn't get past the hurt and the anger he had at Eddie for going off alone. If he'd found her dead, he'd have eaten his gun, father or not, he'd have done it…that scared him more than anything else could.

Danny didn't know what to do or say. When Jamie could come to him like this as a little guy, there was someone to beat up, but now…Danny bit his own lip, he hated to see Jamie like this. It hurt him beyond words to see his usually strong brother, even when his wife was being a nightmare so defeated. Danny put his arms around Jamie and rocked him, "It's okay, things will settled down, it okay, Kid. It's okay, we'll work it all out."

Jamie just stood in Danny's arms and sobbed, the adrenaline and fear that had kept him going now gave way. He realized that Eddie was the light of his life, but he had to be the one to extinguish it. He had to have that little bit of control over his heart and his mind, or there would nothing left of him. His world was hurt or be hurt…and this time, he'd struck first.

Danny took Jamie home to Henry, he couldn't take him to Claudia this way. "The kids," Danny covered. "He couldn't handle seeing those kids…"

Henry slapped Jamie in bed with a hot toddy, a good whiskey induced sleep would cure what ailed his youngest grandson…or so he thought.

The black SUV pulled up in front of the 12th precinct with Nassau county's top SVU detective on board. Renzulli led the charge to congratulate Eddie and little Ellen ran to her and threw her arms around Eddie's thighs. "This is Detective Eddie, she didn't let the bad man get me," she proudly told her Mommy. "I want to be like you when I grow up."

Frank gave Ellen an honorary NYPD shield, the shook Eddie's hand. "The NYPD is proud of you tonight, you're Nassau now but you're roots are here. I'm personally writing a letter to see you're commended by your CO."

Eddie smiled, "Thanks, Commissioner, I uh…" Eddie bit her lip then saw Tom and Sue with April in her arms. Tom began to move towards Eddie, she threw herself at him and began to sob into his shirt. Tom had soothed her pain once before when Jamie had left her hanging, he'd do it again.

"Hey, hey…" Tom whispered. "It's okay, you're safe, the children are safe, it's okay."

Tom took Eddie into Renzulli's office to let her catch her breath. "Talk to me."

Eddie wiped her eyes, "I guess it's the adrenaline, everyone is saying I'm a hero but I messed up. I was partnered and I should have waited for Jamie. I could have gotten myself killed for someone else's child, when my child…Where is my child?"

"Sue has her, I'll get her, I knew when you were found you'd want to hold her," Tom replied and called for his special assistant to bring the baby.

Eddie took her little one in her arms and rocked her, "Mommy's here, Mommy's here, April. I will never let a bad man like that get you. No I won't…" Eddie cradled the baby to her chest, kissing her little head softly.

"I was so scared, Eddie," Tom replied. "I have to apologize to Jamie, I was defeated and said some things…I didn't count on you being strong enough to win the fight and I should have known you would do all you could to come home to us. He got very upset with me when I said that April wouldn't…know you…"

Eddie closed the gap between her and Tom and laid her head on his strong shoulder. This is what she would do, she'd focus on this family…the one that is really hers, not the one she wished she had. Maybe, just maybe, Tom would commit to her fully as well. IF not, this was enough. She decided that once before…why did she keep saying that?

Tom had his driver take them home not long after that. Eddie would have to report to work in the morning, and she was exhausted. They sat close on the ride home, Eddie's heart aching from Jamie's words. Montana was six weeks away, she would still go, she had already accepted, but would Jamie…after his words tonight, Eddie wasn't so sure. He'd been afraid she'd break her promise, he was going to break his…She would not let him get too close again. That was a promise she'd make to herself and she'd keep it.

Over the next month, Eddie tried to move on. The publicity from the rescue of three kidnapped girls was a little more than she desired. She did her job, that was all she did, no more, no less, and it had cost far more than she had gained. Every day Eddie looked for a text from Jamie, she knew their pact but after such an explosion she hoped maybe he would send her something. Montana was two weeks away, maybe he would come, maybe they'd get a second, second chance.

Jamie was finding life with Claudia a little more bearable of late. He was simply doing everything around the house, taking care of Max, and doing her bidding. It made things nicer. She didn't yell as much, she didn't throw things and scare the baby, perhaps this was the solution to his life.

Ten days before Montana, Frank and Danny met for beers to discuss what Danny called Jamie 2.0. "He's not the same since, Dad," Danny sighed. "The other night we were going to meet for beers and Claudia said she wanted him to make stuffed chicken and he went home and did it. It's not like he's afraid, not like before, it's like he's given up and I don't like that feeling, not Jamie."

"Danny, as much as we hate this, and we all hate this…it's Jamie's life, it's Jamie's choice," Frank replied. "But you're right it has to do with Eddie. It's my fault, I suggested she lead that task force so I could see them interact and I did. My son is in love with a woman he's not married to and she's in love with him but married to someone else…who is in love with his secretary, a CBS soap couldn't make this up. All we can do is support him Dan, and make sure he gets on that plane in two weeks."

Danny raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, you think?"

"Yeah, I think," Frank replied. 'Eddie's been given a commendation and she's presenting on the case at the conference. I think if they are exposed to each other enough, in that same environment, they'll make it up. If they do, then we can push Jamie to make things right."

Danny chuckled, "I never thought I'd see a day when Frank Reagan is encouraging one of his sons to have an affair."

"My son is a shell," Frank replied. "That hurts far worse than any affair ever could. Besides, it's an affair of the heart and that can't be stopped. Your mother was engaged when we first met, and we snuck around a little, because we knew it was the right thing for each of us. We didn't want to hurt anyone, but we couldn't hurt ourselves."

"And Jamie is…he's not my brother now, Dad. I miss him," Danny sighed.

"I know you do, we'll get him back, Danny. We'll get him back. You just make sure he gets on the plane, we'll leave the rest to fate…at least for now."

Frank and Danny clinked their beer mugs, they had the bare bones of a plan and less than two week to go to see if it worked.

 **A/N1 – NancyReviews -** **I want to thank you all for your honest criticism and loving response to this story, it truly is a pleasure to write. Most importantly, a warm thank you to my dear friend blueblood82 for allowing me into your world. I've learned so much from you and appreciate that you always make such a point of reminding me that this is a 50/50 effort. Your friendship truly resonates in my life.**

 **A/N2 -** **Blueblood82 -** **Thanks to our many fans for making each posting day such a delight. I'm so glad so many of you are following Jamie and Eddie on their incredible journey of friendship, angst, and love. Happy and safe 4th of July. There will be a bonus chapter in honor of America's 241st birthday!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This chapter contains content that maybe disturbing to some readers. Please read with discretion.**

Chapter Sixteen

Jamie sat on the sofa watching Max sleep in his swing. Claudia was due home any minute and lately when she got home she was ready for sex and "couple time." Jamie wasn't sure about the change in her desires, but there certainly was no change in her execution. Jamie heard Claudia's key and picked Max up to take him to his crib. The baby stirred a little in his father's arms then settled easily into his bed.

Jamie stopped by the kitchen as he heard Claudia in their bedroom. He kept a bottle of whiskey hidden in the back of the spice cabinet, he downed two fingers very quickly, almost producing a head rush. Jamie felt he had no choice now, he had to be the husband Claudia wanted so he could be the father Max needed and deserved. Eddie was gone, she was history. She'd disregarded him and his feelings just like Claudia.

"Jamie, where are you honey?" Jamie sighed. She was horny again, maybe she was better than him at least. She flirted with other men, but she hadn't had an affair like he'd done.

"In the kitchen, I'll be right there," Jamie replied. He took another shot…he found lately if he could numb his mind and heart with the amber liquid in the bottle, he could allow the physical nature and pure biology to take over…that kept things resembling okay.

Claudia came up behind him and wrapped her arms around Jamie's waist. She pressed her athletic body into his back and dug her nails into his sides. "Hard day?"

Jamie shook his head, 'No I was off today…you?"

The conversation was detached and not at all sentimental, but it flowed easier the last few weeks. "Okay, but it could be better…"

Claudia came around and kissed Jamie fiercely. Her tongue plunged into his mouth, tasting the whiskey, almost choking him. Her hands stripped him of his clothing, along with his dignity, tossing the garments around on the floor. "Take me right here…"

Claudia's hand was around Jamie's sex, tugging and pulling…his body responded to her sensation, just like he wanted it to but his mind and his heart remained numb. There was no love, this was just primal instinct…this was how they got Max though, primal sex…not emotion, so much for love making a whole other person when it's cup ran over…stuff parents would say.

Truth be told, if not for the whiskey, Jamie couldn't survive this. He already knew he was slowly losing himself, bit by bit and piece by piece he was disappearing, fading, and disbursing into thin air. Jamie could almost see parts of himself floating around the apartment, the air…even at work he was losing his abilities, slowly becoming the useless pile his wife said he was. He was a mere shell of himself, now, and soon , even that would be cracked.

Claudia was on her knees, her mouth bit down hard into his flesh eliciting a cry and angry hoist up onto the table. If she wanted it here, then here she would have it. Bills, a fruit bowl, and some old formula hit the floor as Jamie slammed his body into his Claudia's. He didn't take care here, she didn't want him to…"Jamie…oh…Jamie…harder!" she encouraged and he did it harder. All the rage, the fear, the anger, Jamie poured it out and into Claudia, praying this time her birth control held and they didn't make a child from this…disgust…

Jamie's legs wouldn't hold him once he was done, he slid to the floor, sweat pouring off his body. Claudia wiggled off the table and collapsed next to him. "That…was sex…you're learning…This just might work…"

Jamie licked the blood from his lip and dabbed at his neck. He'd need some of the oil based concealer Eddie told him about to hide the bite, not a hickey, a bite. His manhood throbbed, not from use, but from where Claudia had sank her teeth. Jamie felt the sting of her claw marks on his back…this was beyond rough sex, this was…for his son. He was succumbing for his son.

Jamie had never felt like less of man, less of a person in his life. Perhaps that was the way to survive, to lose his humanity all together…maybe that would make the idea of life palpable again.

Claudia saw Jamie wince, "What's the matter? Not man enough for real sex? And I thought we turned a corner."

Jamie didn't say anything, he just shut his eyes and listened, "Spineless little worm…What do I have to do to get you to learn how to be a man?" she hissed. "What is this disgusting to you? Being with your wife, well it's no damn picnic for me either. I'm stuck…"

Jamie wanted to explode, he wanted to scream that she wasn't stuck, that she could ask him for a divorce, and give him full custody of Max, she didn't love him anyway, but instead he said nothing and there was one precious reason why. Jamie left Claudia raging and headed to their son's room. Max was awake, holding his little feet up in the air, watching his mobile. Jamie reached down, a drop of his blood falling on Max's sleeper. "I would do anything for you," Jamie told the boy. "Anything…"

Max gave a hard kick and cooed. Jamie couldn't begin to describe how hard it was for him, how could he love someone so much that was part of someone he hated? He'd fight for Max, he would hold on for Max…Max was his reason for living.

Down the Belt Parkway and off into the pretty silent streets of Manhasset, another couple was engaged in the horizontal dance as well. Tom liked it when Eddie laid still and let him worship her body…so she did. All she had to do was lie there, and close her eyes, she new that Tom never made love with his eyes open either. While they were perfectly suited life mates, their souls were someplace else. Eddie went through the motions, she gave a little moan, a little cry, then a sigh…it was enough to keep Tom engaged, to keep him happy. Perhaps, they would make another little April someday…but for tonight…

Eddie felt Tom pull out, he moved to hold her close and shut his eyes once more. Eddie turned so Tom's sex pressed into her back. She waited until he fell asleep to start to cry.

Eddie sat with Kara, two nights later, while April slept and Tom was out of the house. It didn't' take a rocket scientist to know where he was, but Eddie tried to not let it bother her. Kara sipped her wine, "So it's going to be fun, we'll room together, you can show me the digs…"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, I'm only going cause of the stupid award thing, I was going to tell the CO that I couldn't and say I didn't want to leave the baby so young but…"

"But you just made your career with that save, not one but three young girls, that is huge, Eddie," Kara smiled. 'I'm glad I'll be there to see you. I'm so proud."

Eddie smiled, "Do you…Did Jamie say if he was going?"

"He didn't say he wasn't and Renzulli has his shift covered for that week so I'm assuming that he is. You two need to talk about this, Eddie, you really do."

"Kara, it's over. Jamie wants it over, and I have to respect his wishes for that. I did cross the line, I was all the things he said, but it wasn't about us, it was about those girls. Jamie lost site of that, and it's not like him." Eddie sipped her own wine and sighed.

"He's doing a lot of things not like him lately," Kara replied., "You two honestly…but you said you didn't want to talk about it so…let's talk about something else."

No matter how hard they tried, Kara and Eddie kept reverting back to talking about her failed attempt at a relationship with Jamie. Eddie was clearly hurt, but also resigned to the fact it was over.

"It is done…" Eddie said, this time with more conviction. "He's broken my heart twice now, and I will not have it again. I can't have it again. I know you want us together, believe me I wanted it too, but Jamie wants it over, I want it over…this is my wish…please respect that. I have Tom, and I have my baby girl," Eddie replied. "I'm good, I'm content, and I want that for Jamie too."

Kara nodded, she knew now that she had to do something to connect these two again, neither one of her friends were happy, and that hurt her heart. "Well, if you see him in Montana tell him that, let him know you wish him well, no matter what his feelings."

Eddie nodded, she wanted to cry. She had been planning for this eight day reunion for almost a year, she had promised and now. "No! I won't be speaking to him in Montana, unless I absolutely have no choice, like I fall over his big feet and have to say excuse me or shame my mother's good name…Do not push me, please!"

When Kara left Eddie's house she took a minute to text Danny, "We need to talk. Can you meet?"

Danny was sitting home with Linda and the boys when his phone went off. He almost lurched for it because it was the text tone he assigned to Kara Walsh. She had promised to feel Eddie out about a possible reconciliation for her and Jamie in Montana.

"Who is it? Your mistress?" Linda joked as she watched Danny almost contort to get to his phone.

"No, but it's important," Danny replied. "Just one second, hon…" Danny read the text and sighed. "Tomorrow lunch, roach coach by the 12th?"

Kara smiled, it helped that Danny was on board…if anyone could get Jamie on the plane it would be his brother.

Linda crossed her eyebrows at Danny, "Okay, what's going on?"

"Linda, it hurts me beyond belief to have to say this, but I really can't tell you," Danny replied. "I can't, I made a promise that I wouldn't…"

Linda looked hurt but if Danny was saying this, she knew it was serious. "Danny, you can't protect Jamie if he doesn't want it. You can't make him leave his wife, you can't make him do anything. Erin thinks that if Jamie just lightened up…"

Danny's eyes flashed and he turned on Linda like a rattle snake in August, "Do you or Erin or anyone even suggest that this is Jamie's fault? It's not his fault…that woman is a shrew, it's not his fault!"

Danny took his phone and texted Kara again, "Meet me now, I can't let it sit."

In the back of a quiet cop bar, Danny and Kara met. "She is done, she was firm and I know Eddie, she's going to dig her heels in now."

Danny nodded, "Jamie too, if he has heels left to dig in. I saw him yesterday, fat lip is still healing, bruises on his neck, not fingerprints or I'd kill her myself, but…"

"He's making up for work then, he's hiding his pain and Eddie is masking hers pretending to be happy," Kara sighed. "I'm going on that plane with her, but if I'm going to get them back together out there, I need him on the damn plane!"

"I'll get him on the plane, my Dad is seeing to that," Danny replied. "And I ran your idea past the old man, didn't say who, just what and he is personally going to set that up."

Kara sighed, "I just hate to see them like this. Eddie's sad, but at least she's not suffering, Jamie is suffering. When no one would talk to me, even go near me, Jamie stepped up and he said, it wasn't right, and it wasn't fair, even against Eddie. He was not afraid to lock his jaw and say this is what I stand for…now…"

Danny's eye flooded with tears, "Now's he's afraid to stand."

"I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, Danny. I just can't…" Kara shook her head.

"It's like watching him die,' Danny replied. 'I'm watching my last brother die and there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Well, there's something we can do about it," Kara replied. "I'm not leaving Montana unless those two are back together or I'm convinced they are resigned to lives apart and I am not convinced of that. There's too much pain on both sides. I'm not losing either of my friends to the abyss. I am not!"

Danny smiled, "I'm not either. Dad and I will get the kid there, hell or high water, he's on that plane next week. You do the rest…and if you need help, call me and we'll figure it out."

Kara toasted to Danny then headed home to her own family. Montana wasn't far off now, they only had a short window of time to make this work.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Claudia put on her best dress and best smile when she arrived at Tom's office a week before Montana. She was going to solicit policeman's fund donations along with a little incentive of her own. When Claudia walked in, Sue was not at her desk, instead a younger receptionist, Candy, was there. "I'm here to see Mr. Manning, Claudia Reagan, of the Brooklyn Reagans….I do have an appointment."

The girl looked uncomfortable, "He's in with…He's in a meeting now but he'll be with you shortly. Have a seat…"

Candy knew what went on there, she knew about Tom's special lunches with Sue, she lied to his wife for him, and to his appointments. If not for the money, she'd have quit long ago.

Tom let Sue out of his office, "What's next Candace?" he asked.

"Mrs. Reagan," Candy told her. "Please come on back…"

Tom led Claudia into his private office, "Mrs. Reagan, how is your lovely little boy?"

Claudia smiled, 'He's getting so big, and your little angel?"

Tom and Claudia both whipped out the baby pictures bragging about their children for a short while before turning to business.

"I've come to solicit money from you," Claudia told Tom. "I know you and your wife have been very generous in the past and this year I volunteered to head the drive, it is to pay for bullet proof vests, head and riot gear, and other safety precautions for our officers. Our goal is 10 million dollars…and I was hoping that I could add you to my list."

Tom leaned back, 'Yes, yes of course I'd be glad to donate. Your husband and his fellow officers from the 12th saved my wife, I would be glad to make a donation to the fund." Tom stood up and went to buzz Sue, but Claudia stopped him.

"If you could see your way clear to donate the entire amount, it would make my time easier and I'd make it worth your while," Claudia all but cooed to him.

Tom felt his skin stand on end, and begin to crawl. Claudia was a married woman, but more than that her forwardness repulsed him. She was trying to sell herself for money when he wasn't even in the market to buy.

"That won't be possible, or necessary," Tom replied. "I will be glad to donate the sum of 1 million dollars to the cause, but you should continue to do the work, it's important people know that this is a necessity for our officers."

Claudia squared her shoulders to show off her barely there bust line, "If you're sure," she sighed. "It would be a very good time for you and…"

Tom stood up and reached for his checkbook, "If not for the fact this money is for our officers, my wife's former department, and of course I'll be donating to my wife's department, I wouldn't give you a dime. You are here representing the NYPD, your family's legacy, if only by marriage. It's a disgrace what you're doing." Tom wrote the check. "You're lucky to have Jamie Reagan…" He handed it to her. "Take it, and go!"

Claudia left with the check tucked in her bra and anger swelling in her breast. Tom was rich, handsome, smart…and she was lucky to have Jamie. Spineless, whiny, useless Jamie…

Claudia sped home, she was hot and now she needed her husband…she wasn't going to get it anyplace else. She needed her husband and he would deliver. He would deliver or else.

It was nearly ten before Jamie arrived at his father's house. His lip was swollen again and his ribs and hip were screaming at him, but he had to get out of the house. Claudia had come home and flew into a rage. She yelled, scream, bit, punched, and kicked. Jamie held back until the final blow, a sharp kick to the ribs. Jamie stood then, and with hot fury, threw Claudia into the wall with force he only used on perps. He took a bag, grabbed his son, and headed for his father's house.

"Jamie, what happened?" Frank asked taking the crying baby from Jamie's hands.

"Claudia and I had a huge fight," Jamie replied. "Scared him to death and we need a place to cool down for a few days. Is it okay?"

"Of course, it's okay," Frank replied. "Pop…we need you out here. Pop will feed this guy and we need to get something on that lip. Did she hit you?"

Jamie though fast, "Threw a stiletto at my head but this is from…she likes to bite…it's too much info for you Dad," Jamie laughed.

"Point taken, we'll give Max your old room and you take Joe's old one,' Frank replied as Henry came into the room. "Here you are Maximillian…" Henry took the baby. "Let's go have a baba…"

Jamie laughed, Henry and Frank both struggled to bond with Max, but they still made an effort to fuss over him. "Jamie sat down. Can I stay here a while until I get my head clear?'

"Sure, and we'll take care of Max if you need while you're in Montana too," Frank assured Jamie.

"Oh, I can't go…I'm not going," Jamie sighed. "There's no real reason to go there, I'm not speaking this year. I could use the down time. In fact, I'm gonna grab a shower while you have Maxy, okay?"

Frank nodded and watched Jamie climb the steps. As soon as he heard the shower start, Frank dialed Danny.

Jamie stood in front of the full length mirror as he let the water warm up. His ribs were aching, his arms too…but most of all his conscience stabbed at him with every thought. He had put his hands on his wife in anger…something he was taught not to do from the time he was a boy. He put his hands on her in anger…it wasn't okay for him to take it, but it wasn't okay for him to retaliate either. Had he lost so much of himself? Was he that far gone? He didn't even recognize the man in the mirror…and the one that was there…he couldn't stand to look at. Jamie grabbed the big towel and covered the image, he couldn't stand to see it.

"How is he?" Danny asked Frank when he was able to return his father's call.

"Not good, he showered the took Max and went to bed," Frank replied. "We have to get her some kind of help, because she's way too intense, but we have a bigger problem. Jamie's not going to Montana, and if he doesn't go to Montana there's no way we can get things back on track for him and Eddie. Kara can't force them together if he doesn't go!"

"He'll go," Danny replied. "I'll get him to go, and Kara will get them to make up. We have a bigger problem though, cause he can't keep going like that."

"Let's take it one step at a time, we have five days to get him on the airplane," Frank replied.

Danny sighed, "Why don't you step back a bit, Dad, and let me come over and talk to him. You and Pop watch the baby and let us talk. I think I can get him to go, see you soon."

Jamie came down after his shower to find Max, fed, diapered, and asleep in the portcrib, and Danny having a beer in his dad's chair. "What do you want, Danny?"

"Really big mustached bird told me you were here and I was worried. Come on, I'm hungry and I want to talk to you," Danny said to Jamie smiling and sliding his arm around his younger brother.

Jamie sat down and took the beer Danny opened, "So, that same bird told me you aren't going next week. I though you were looking forward to it."

"I was," Jamie replied. "That was before the fiasco with Eddie. She was what I was looking forward to, not the trip."

"She'll still be there," Danny reminded him. "She's getting a commendation there, but that's not even the real reason."

"What then?" Jamie asked looking at Danny.

"You're rookie, that kid Patterson," Danny replied. 'He's counting on your to be there, he's going to be a fish out of water there without you to rely on. He's your responsibility, and if he does something stupid or crazy we all look bad. I know that monstrosity you have married has sucked about all your self worth right out of you, so you might not care, but Dad will look bad, and Pop, and me…You want you big brother smelling like roses, right?"

Jamie laughed and bit his lip to keep from grimacing. "Patterson is a walking accident," Jamie replied. "And the reason I married Claudia at all was to protect the family and rasie my son…I guess…She can't have Max right, now, not after that fight."

"Dad and Pop have Max. You need to go to Montana, unwind, make sure your rookie doesn't blow anything up…once he's settled, if you can't stand it, come home..."

Danny made a lot of sense, Jamie hated it when Danny made sense. "Okay, I'll go but I'm only going to stay a couple days to get Patterson settled."

"I can live with that," Danny replied. "Finish your beer, have something to eat and hit the bed. You look like hell."

"Thanks, Danny," Jamie said with a hint of sarcasm, but his eyes showed Danny he meant it.

"Any time and every time kid,' Danny replied before finishing his beer and heading home.

Claudia began to blow up Jamie's phone around midnight. "Please call me," was one text. "Please talk to me," was another. No I'm sorry, no it was wrong…just her incessant begging. Jamie turned the object to silent and rolled over to get some sleep. Danny was right, he needed to rest, relax, and regroup and he couldn't do that if he kept letting himself get into this dark space. Maybe the trip to Montana would be good for him, he wouldn't have Eddie, but he'd have quiet, fresh air, and a big blue sky to stare at while he pondered the next steps of his life.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

The day before the flight, Eddie was packing her bag. She had Jamie's Christmas gift, they decided to exchange in Montana, she packed it even though it was highly unlikely he'd even go. Eddie packed jeans, sweaters, sensible shoes, and one pair or super cute heels. She looked at the white lace nightgown she bought for this trip…she wanted to wear it with Jamie and watch his eyes as he peeled it off and slowly made love to her. That wouldn't be happening, but Eddie packed the nightie anyway…it hurt to think of Jamie, but it was easier to get on the plane if she diluted herself into thinking she'd get to run to him. She was firm in her resolve, in her head, but in her heart…it was another matter.

Eddie and Kara grabbed a Starbucks at the airport as they waited at their gate. They were pretty late getting to the flight, it was rougher on Eddie to part with April than she thought it would be. "You ready for your speech? You are going to knock them dead!"

Eddie smiled, "Yeah well…Did they call our row?"

"Oh, yeah," Kara replied. 'Let's get on or we'll miss our flight."

Kara and Eddie got on the flight and took their seats. Neither of them saw Jamie, though Kara had made it so they were seated in front of him. Jamie couldn't help but watch Eddie as she put up her bag, got in her seat…Jamie wanted to rush up and help, but things were done and that was that.

Throughout the entire flight, Jamie would hear Eddie laugh, see a glint of her angelic hair…he had to fight the urge to reach out for her. She had discounted him and his feelings, how much he needed her. It was selfish even to his own ears, but it was his feeling nonetheless.

Jamie got up to go to the bathroom once the seatbelt sign was off, he had to fix the tape on his ribs, the seatbelt hurt. What Jamie didn't' account for or expect was that Eddie would have to go as well.

Eddie waited while the sign said occupied, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. When the door opened, the plane also lurched and Eddie nearly fell into Jamie. On instinct, Jamie's hands came up and caught Eddie's arm so she didn't fall. The feeling of her skin burned his and the scent of her heightened all his senses.

Eddie moved to the right and so did Jamie, they corrected and shifted to the left…like an endless dance until Jamie finally stood still. Eddie took a step toward the bathroom, the toilet definitely her objective now that her heart was pumping. Jamie needed to get away from this, he stepped to move to the aisle, wiggling past Eddie. Jamie's stomach brushed against Eddie's as he moved towards his seat, he heat between them still undeniable...watching from her seat Kara could almost hear the sizzle as she thinks to herself..."there's hope yet!" Eddie stepped into the bathroom, her mouth dry, her heart pounding. Eddie was shaking when she returned to her seat.

"What?" Kara asked her friend. 'What happened?"

"I just saw Jamie, he's on this flight! Of all the damn flights he's on this flight…" Eddie touched where Jamie had touched her arm. "I almost fell, he caught me but his eyes…Kara his eyes are dead."

The plane arrived in Montana, Eddie almost ran off the plane, she didn't want to encounter Jamie again. Kara hung back and got their carry-ons off the flight. Jamie came down the aisle and caught Kara's eye, "Hey, Jamie…did you

hear about Patterson?" Kara asked.

"Yeah, nimrod missed his flight," Jamie shook his head. "Renzulli said he'd take care of it, so as soon as I can I'm going to call and get my ticket changes. If I have to pay for it, so be it…"

Kara bit her lip, "Give it a chance, take a break. I have to catch Eddie, but we'll catch up. Take care."

Kara knew now she had to work fast.

Kara and Eddie got a cab in the taxi line then headed to the chalet. Check in was as smooth as ever, and their room was once again in the main building. "This is nice! Is this like your room last time?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, in fact it's the same room except on the other side. I can't believe I'm here again…" Eddie sank on to the bed, trying to hide the tears.

Kara hugged her friend, "It's okay…you'll do your speech, we'll have fun okay?"

Eddie nodded, "What's happened to him Kara? Did I really do that or…"

"No, no you didn't do that, he misses you and you miss him, yes, but that is…that's different, okay? Let's unpack, go get a drink okay?

Eddie smiled, "Yes, this bar has incredible drinks, so good…and the chicken Dijon…off the charts!"

Kara was happy to see Eddie smiling a little bit, her heart hurt for both her friends. While Kara and Eddie headed for drinks, Jamie headed to his room. This time it was in the very back of the main building, with the suites.

Jamie walked in and saw the huge king size bed, electric fireplace with a bearskin rug in front of it, a stocked mini fridge, sconces with candles…Jamie dropped his one bag and flopped onto the bed. The room even smelled like romance…he rolled his eyes and thought to himself, "Just my luck, all alone in the damn bridal suite…" He flung and arm over his face and wondered how long he had to stay to make it look like he made an effort.

Jamie stayed in his room that night, he ordered room service and drank until he couldn't see straight. That's how he got through his life anymore, but he promised himself just tonight, just a break for the night. Eddie and Kara socialized and talked until midnight, then headed to their rooms. Kara took a shower at night, Eddie preferred the morning. Eddie laid in bed thinking about seeing Jamie on the plane. The look on his face, or lack thereof cut her to the core. She still loved him, she wanted him to see that but the man she saw today wasn't capable…

Kara heard Eddie's sobs when she stepped out of the bathroom, she knew though this was a private cry, that her friend needed the alone time…so she let it be and allowed Eddie to have her release. She presented the next day, and boy would she be in for a surprise.

Eddie fixed her blouse and pinned her hair in a half back, half down style. "Well, do I look like a hero cop?" she asked Kara.

"You look amazing," Kara smiled. "I'll be there in the front row if you get nervous but you won't. Did you hear anything about the presenter? I heard they're NYPD but it's not me."

Kara was trying to subtly prepare her friend for the fact that Jamie was going to presenting that award. At this very moment, Frank or Danny was enlightening him to that particular duty.

"With my luck, it's Jamie," Eddie sighed. "That would make sense too since he was my TO and partnered with me. Oh, well, I learned very young how to do this, put on a smile, and swear under your breath. Let's go, if I'm doing this I need a bagel."

Jamie was fuming when he left his room, dressed in his best suit to present this commendation to Eddie It wreaked of Danny, but apparently Frank had made the suggestion and with the weight of his name the director of the conference had jumped at it. Jamie had to play nice, so he pressed his suit and put on cologne to await the noon start time.

The room was packed for Eddie's speech and award's ceremony. Every cop at the conference seemed to be in there. Jamie saw her, up in the front looking professional and incredibly beautiful all at once. Eddie's size gave her a soft vulnerability that made him want to protect her. Jamie knew now a lot of his anger was steeped in his fear, but he couldn't admit that. He'd lost enough of who he was already.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the conference director began. "Today we have a very special program for you, not only a speaker, but also a commendation. Every year, this conference selects one person from the leadership team to receive an award that represents bravery, grace under pressure, and the embodiment of our job as police officers. Every day we all risk our lives for the greater good, but there are times when we must go above and beyond our call for that good. Today, we honor Nassau County Special Victims Detective Edit Janko, better known to her friends and colleagues as "Eddie" with this distinguished award. Would Sergeant Reagan please come up…"

It was upon him now, Jamie headed up to the podium where Eddie would stand. "Sergeant Reagan was Detective Janko's TO when she was with the NYPD, we are glad to have him here to present Detective Janko with the medal and plaque."

Jamie smiled and stood next to the director. All he could think was he wanted to kill his father and then throw up. He'd have to stand by Eddie, smile at Eddie, shake hands with her. His body reacted when he thought about her. Jamie turned his body to the side and waited for Eddie.

Eddie gracefully took the stage when she was invited too. Jamie put the medal around her neck and handed her the plaque. Their hands brushed and they both stopped breathing for a minute. When Eddie took Jamie's hand in her own, their palms were both sweating. Slowly, Eddie raised her eyes to meet Jamie's, to try to connect…but there was nothing there, nothing to touch, nothing to hold.

They both smiled pretty for the picture, then Jamie took his seat while the Director described Eddie's actions. "Detective Janko, a few words…"

Eddie took a deep breath and looked directly at Kara for strength, but her eyes were drawn to Jamie. What she had to say to this group, she really had to say to him, maybe if he understood, they could at least talk again. The tension was unbearable, Eddie had to find out what was behind his eyes or what wasn't. She took a deep breathe, "If I were sitting out in the audience today hearing a fellow officer give this speech, get this award, a part of me would be thinking that she was reckless, she was lucky. I think it was both luck and training that brought us out of that den in Chinatown alive. But truth be told, I don't think any cop worth his or her salt would have done anything differently. I did what I had to do in the moment, I have some regrets, those more personal than professional, but I would do it all again for chance to return those three little girls to their parents, one of the best days of my life.

"Whenever I think about what happened that day, I remember the words of Sergeant Reagan, when he was consoling me after a personal loss, he said we are the strange ones…we run into danger when everyone sane is running away. That's true, all of us in this room, do things that are extraordinary every single day, and we wear badge of honor proudly on our chest…we are the ones that stand on the wall and make sure nothing bad will happen on our watch. We all deserve this medal, I share this with each of you and especially with Sergeant Reagan who taught me to be a great cop, not just a good one. Thank you all so much."

The room roared with applause, and Jamie's eyes filled with emotion for the first time in a week. It was pride, he was proud of her…Eddie new that look and she knew that it was a start. It wasn't much yet, but it was a start.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Jamie got out of the room as fast as he possibly could and retreated to a speech on boxing and training for new officers. He found it interesting, especially as an ex-boxer. That and it was something Eddie would never think to attend.

Kara ran up to her friend and threw her arms around her, "You were amazing, I'm so proud of you!"

Eddie smiled, "I'm actually a little proud of me too…Did you see Jamie, I wanted to say thank you…"

"He left, I think he had another seminar but we have a few free hours. I'm treating you to a massage and lunch, and later, they are having country western night in the lounge, we are so there."

Eddie took Kara up on the offer and followed along with her friend. It was good to have Kara there to help her get through this. A good friend was always a great asset and she had that in Kara in spades.

Jamie kept himself busy all day with one seminar after the other. He didn't want to think about Eddie again. He called Henry to check on Max and found Claudia had been by to visit her little boy. According to Henry, she had been nice but only held the child for a few minutes before leaving.

Jamie took a nap, took a run, then finally took a shower before heading down to hear Garth Brooks covers in the lounge. Sydney had liked his music, then he got Vinny and Eddie hooked on him. That was the only country he really cared for, and he was going to enjoy himself tonight no matter what.

The minute Jamie walked in he knew it was a bad idea. The song that was playing always made him think of Eddie and their time together here over the last year. Jamie's eyes searched the room and of course there was his beautiful Eddie, dressed in jeans, a gold v neck blouse and boots. All that he wanted was to rush over to her and throw his arms around her…but he couldn't, that was done. He said it and so did she, with more conviction than he had truth be told.

Eddie was heading toward Kara and the bar when very tall, slightly drunk cop from Mississippi stepped into her path. "Well, how would you like to dance little lady? I'd like to buy you a drink too."

Eddie didn't like the odor or the feel of this man, "No thanks, I just dance in groups…"

"Aw come on, honey, it's a convention…it's like Vegas but with snow…What happens here…" The man moved closer, and Eddie backed up. He was handsome, and he was probably nice when he was sober but the last thing she needed was another man to complicate her life.

"I know but I'm a married woman, and I don't want to dance with you…"

Kara was watching the exchange, she knew Eddie was a strong cop but even the best needed back up…Kara moved to intercept, but Jamie stepped out and put his hand on Kara's shoulder. "Ill take care of this…"

Jamie took three steps and appeared at Eddie's side, "I believe the lady said no…now please, go elsewhere….sober up…"

Eddie smiled at Jamie, then stepped away, "Thank you," was all she said.

And a flat, "You're welcome," was all he could say

, This time Kara sat with Eddie while she cried herself to sleep. Kara's heart broke for her friend, "I know," she empathized. "I know…It's okay, we'll fix it if you want."

"No!" Eddie sobbed. "We can't fix it! We cannot fix it at all! Things are…worse now than before we met here last year. Jamie's dead inside, he's dead and I can't fix it. A year ago he'd have been all over that guy, he started a fight at his friend's wedding when the guy was getting too close and I was letting him! Today he just says a couple words…"

Eddie sighed, "I want to go home, I'm going to go home…" Kara knew she was running out of time.

Kara texted Danny and found out, not surprisingly, that Jamie was making the same threat. "If this doesn't work Danny, I'm letting her go, I can't hear her sob like that anymore, I just can't do it."

"Set it in motion," Danny told her. 'If this doesn't work, you're right..we'll have to pack it in, I can't see him suffer either."

The next day was uneventful, Eddie and Kara attended some of the seminars but mostly spent the day on the back patio watching the sky. "Eddie, I'm gonna run back to the AV closet and check on that projector…if I'm not back in ten come find me cause that weird guy that grabbed my butt might be there."

Eddie agreed to meet Kara, not knowing that Kara had texted Jamie asking him to meet her and help her set up the projector. He should arrive two minutes before Eddie's check in…and he did.

"That one in the very back there," Kara told Jamie just as Eddie showed up to look for her friend. When Eddie arrived, Kara pushed her into the closet, "I'm sorry but this is for your own good."

Kara shut the door hard and blocked the knob with a broom handle as Eddie kicked the door hard, 'Open this door" she demanded seeing Jamie in the corner, his eyes still very cold. "I mean it , open it now or find your own room. This isn't funny…"

Jamie sighed, "Give it up, Eddie, we're stuck until she thinks we've talked so just sit down and wait her out…It's a closet, you like closets…"

Eddie glared at Jamie, "Not when I'm hungry, tired, and need to pee…and not with you. You made it very clear that you want nothing to do with me anymore and don't want to be anywhere near me."

Jamie looked down at his lap, there was no point anymore in trying to hide the hard truth, but he still couldn't bring himself to say it to Eddie. Jamie mumbled, "Don't want to be anywhere near you? It takes all of my strength not to be near you Eddie."

The rustle of Eddie's step let Jamie know that his words had been heard. He sank down against the wall and hid his face. He didn't' want to let Eddie see his face, the tears welling up. He had to stay hard and cold, he had to protect himself.

Eddie sat across from Jamie, burying her own face as she spoke softly, "I thought you didn't love me anymore."

Those words were like a shot to his heart, that he didn't love her. It was never about loving her. "That's just not possible, Eddie. That's just not possible. God knows I tried it," Jamie confessed. "God knows I did…because I can't be what you need. I can't be anything."

Eddie looked at Jamie's eyes, she could see the emotions trying to peek out, she took a deep breath. "That's not true, Jamie. That's not true, you're everything. It hurt so much when you said we were over, but…but I let it because I hoped it was just the anger talking. I did make a mistake to go off like that, but those girls had to be first. They had to be."

"I know they had to be," Jamie replied, his voice still flat.

Eddie moved even closer to him, trying to draw him out. "You would have done it too, that man was a monster and he needed to be stopped. You're a father, if he was going after Max…"

"I can't even protect Max," Jamie murmured. "Eddie, get out of this closet and run as far away from me as you can get. Start running and don't look back."

Eddie moved closer, "I'm not running. I never stopped caring, I never stopped loving…and I won't, but this isn't you Jamie. You've hidden yourself away, why?"

Eddie reached out to touch Jamie's face. She felt the tears there. "Talk to me…I want to fix this…I want to fix us…but I can't do that alone. You said you still love me…"

"I do," Jamie replied getting up quickly to move away. "I do love you and that's why we can't., Eddie. We can't."

Eddie pursued again and this time she slid her arms around Jamie's middle. He hissed in pain when her body came in contact with bruised ribs. "Jamie what…' Eddie rolled up his shirt. "Jamie…"

The minimal light was all she needed to see the greenish, blue marks on Jamie's chest. "Oh my God…" Eddie touched the injury with soft fingers. "What happened…"

"Oh I fell," Jamie replied quickly, he was too ashamed to admit the truth to anyone, even to Eddie. "I tripped and fell down…and…"

"And you are a lousy liar," Eddie sighed softly. "She did this? You had a fight?" Eddie Eddie pushed keeping her voice soft and gentle. Jamie was like a scared rabbit right now. Eddie realized she broke his trust going rogue, his faith that he would be number one in her life, at least after her baby. That he would be that in someone's life. That's why he got so angry with her.

Jamie nodded, "She went to solicit some donations for the police safety fund and I guess she didn't get the amount she wanted or whatever and she came home and found me asleep on the couch. The dishes weren't done or something and she went off. She was throwing things at first, but they were near Max. I tried to stop her, I got in the way and she…"

Eddie nodded, her eyes so soft and loving. "Attacked you…Jamie you have to get out of this…you have to."

"I can't, Max is vulnerable and as long as he is I can't…" Jamie replied. "I'm a father first, he's way too little."

"Jamie, he is too little. He's too little to defend himself if she turns on him…"

"I won't let that happen," Jamie replied. "I won't. I'll die before I let that happen. Even now, I left him with my dad and with Pop so he's safe. If I try to leave her now, she'll get full custody, she's shrewd and he's only six months old, the court will side with her. I've never documented anything. Please Eddie, I can't talk about this anymore okay? Let's tell Kara we kissed and made up so we can get out of here, you can pee, eat, and we'll just go home. I'll go home."

"No," Eddie replied. "No you won't, home is the last place you need to go. How many times has she done this Jamie? Is this a regular thing?"

Eddie was now next to Jamie, she was holding his hand and rubbing small circles on his hand. "No," Jamie replied. "No…I…the physical stuff not really. She throws things a lot, and sometimes they make contact but the intentional stuff is rare, the words though…the insults are a daily thing."

Eddie nodded in understanding, "So when I went off after that perp…"

"When you went off after him, I felt like the only thing I had in the world was in danger and it felt like…" Jamie bit his lip to keep from crying. "I'd have died if I lost you, I wouldn't have been able to keep going. I got through the last 358 days holding onto this, holding onto this time, this place…and the thought of that being gone, I …."

"You snapped, you got scared, I know…Jamie, all you have to say is that you didn't mean it. That's all you have to say."

"I didn't, I swear I didn't,' Jamie replied. 'I love you and…I…everything else…" Finally the emotion was coming up. Eddie moved so Jamie could rest against her and let it pass through.

Eddie stroked Jamie's hair and kept him cradled against her breast like she would a small child. Eddie rocked back and forth and let him cry, she knew there was more he was hiding from her, but he had to get some of the pain out.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Jamie moaned a little as his ribs protested against the sobs. Eddie moved and pressed gently to provide counter pressure and relieve the pain. She didn't offer platitudes that were useless, she just held him and rocked until Jamie spoke again.

"There's nothing she hasn't tainted for me" Jamie said after nearly fifteen minutes. "Even fatherhood…even sex. She demands it from me, like it's my job to provide her with an outlet or something. Even that is violent, even that is hard and fast…I have to drink to get through it, and lately I have to drink to get through a day. I have to numb myself until I finish…"

"Finish what? Eddie asked making him look at her now. "Finish what Jamie?"

"Finish dying," Jamie replied. "I've lost myself, Eddie. I have lost who I was, I lost the man that you described in that speech, that man is already dead…"

Eddie fought her own tears, "No he's not! Don't you say that, don't you dare say that! You are not, you are here, just inside…under all this stuff she's done, you are here."

Eddie held Jamie's face in her hands and brushed his tears, "If you were gone, Jamie, if my Jamie was gone, I'd know…You're not. You're not…" Eddie kissed his forehead softly. "I will find you, you are lost but I will find you."

"When you find out…the worst of all of it…this last time when she was raging at me and throwing things and kicing…I threw her. I grabbed her and I threw her into the wall, then pushed her onto the bed…"

"Jamie, she was attacking you, you had to defend yourself," Eddie soothed. "You had to get her off you. It's not like you went back and beat her up, you neutralized her and you got out. You took your baby boy and you got out. You did the right thing, there's no wrong in it. None…"

With Eddie's words, Jamie almost deflated and sagged against her, one arm coming to cover his ribs. "Have you even been able to sleep?" Eddie asked softly.

Jamie just stayed still, he was spent, totally spent. "Don't worry…I'll take care of you. We'll fix it, we'll fix it all."

Kara paced for over an hour outside, texting Danny the entire time. There was no yelling, no banging, just a still silence. Finally, Eddie started to knock on the door, "Kara, let us out please. I need your help."

Kara opened the door and saw Jamie on the floor, legs curled up. Eddie was kneeling beside him. "Help me get him to his room," Eddie replied. "You have no idea, Kara, just no idea."

"Jamie, let's go to your room, which one is it?" Eddie asked.

"I know where," Kara replied and took an arm. "Wow, for a skinny guy you are heavy."

Jamie was almost dead weight against the two women. Eddie reached into Jamie's back pocket, he always kept his room key, wallet, and things in his back pocket. "Here we go." Jamie wasn't speaking at all just letting Eddie and Kara lead him. "Kara, can you get us some sandwiches, some juice and ice, we need some ice."

Jamie walked directly to his bed and laid down in that same curled position. "Please, and then go, please go."

Kara nodded, she had known something was wrong but the level of defeat she was seeing now, was frightening. Kara hurried off to get the things Eddie asked for. "Come on, Jamie…let's get you under the covers. You need a good sleep, then you'll feel better."

Eddie carefully stripped Jamie out of his outfit, leaving him in boxers and socks. She found more bruises on his legs, and sighed. Carefully she propped pillows all over including one against his bruised ribs. "We'll put some ice when Kara gets back…I'm so sorry this happened to you Jamie. I'm so sorry…"

Jamie didn't reply, even speech was too much for him now. Eddie sat on his bed and ran her hands through his hair, "Don't sleep until I get some juice and food in you, then you can sleep all you want, I promise."

Jamie brought his hand to hold onto Eddie's leg, he didn't want her to move. He wanted her to stay close just like this.

Kara returned later with the items Eddie requested, Eddie took them inside and gave Kara a huge hug, "Thank you so much," Eddie sighed. "Thank you."

"I'll go, I'll make sure no one is looking for you two either," Kara replied. "This is a nice room…" She raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's nice, but..." Eddie shook her head. "Thanks. I need to get back."

Eddie gave Jamie some juice and laid ice packs on his ribs. "Do you want to take a shower before you go to sleep?"

"No, it's fine," Jamie replied. "I can't right now. I can't move...I just..." Jamie whispered. "I dont even know...all I know is I need you. I need you."

Eddie moved her hand to Jamie's hand and held on tight. "I'm not going anywhere…"

Jamie smiled a little bit and shut his eyes. Eddie ate a sandwich and kicked her shoes off. She laid down on the bed next to Jamie. He instinctively moved so he was lying against her chest.

Eddie though about everything he'd said to her, all the confessions he made. Her heart hurt, it ached that Jamie was going through this. She felt such a sense of guilt that this had been happening for over a year and she didn't know it. She'd seen him enough, she should have seen the signs. She was SVU, she should have seen the signs.

Jamie slept peacefully for two hours before he started so stir. "Ssh," Eddie whispered. "Ssh, Jamie, I'm right here. I'm here…"

"No…" Jamie tossed his head. "No, no, I don't….don't hurt him…"

"Jamie, I'm here," Eddie whispered again. "Nothing is going to happen. I'm here…Wake up now…wake up…"

Jamie shot up like a rocket and held his sore ribs. "Max! Max!"

Eddie rubbed Jamie's arm, "Max is just fine, he's with your father and grandfather. He's just fine and we're going to make sure he's stays fine, okay?"

Jamie sighed and leaned back on the bed, "How can you even look at me? After what I did to you? I just…I took it all out on you, all the anger, everything…"

"We can talk about all that, for now, let's focus on you okay?" Eddie replied softly. "Let's focus on you…Do you want something to eat?"

"No I'm not hungry, I'm…" Jamie shook his head.

"Go back to sleep, take a drink and go back to sleep," Eddie whispered.

Eddie managed to get Jamie to eat a few bites of his sandwich and drink a little before he fell back to sleep. Eddie laid back down with her arms around Jamie, cradling him close. His sleep was peaceful for the first time in almost six weeks. Eddie woke to Jamie's eyes on her. She had slept in her clothing close enough to be help but far enough to give him space.

"Hey," Eddie smiled and stretched. "You slept really good. It looks nice outside."

Jamie smiled and saw the sun peeking in. "Yeah…and I'm hungry." Eddie looked at their disgarded sandwiches. 'We have to do better than that. Let's freshen up and find you some food, you're even more fit that I remember."

Jamie laughed, "Oh, don't do that…make my ribs sting. I need a shower." Jamie wiped his hand over his face.

"Yes, you do…You're hair is sticking up," Eddie laughed. "Come on, you shower and we'll get something to eat."

Jamie got his clothes out. While he was washing up Eddie hurried to her room to get some clothes for herself. She got back just as Jamie got out of the shower. Eddie was brushing her hair when Jamie came out. He had a new energy about him after sleeping and washing up. "Let's go for pancakes, those mint chip ones you liked so much. Then maybe a walk, I don't think eastern has anything mandatory today."

"Even if we did," Eddie replied. "Yeah that's a great idea. My treat" Eddie reached for the keys to her rental.

"Nope, mine," Jamie replied and picked up his keys. "And even in Montana I drive."

Jamie and Eddie got in the car and headed for breakfast. They kept the conversation very light, the weather, the sky…then finally. "Are we good?" Eddie asked. "Because I need us to be good. I miss my best friend and no matter what we do or don't do…romance or no romance you're that. I love you and I miss my best friend."

Jamie sighed, "Honestly Eddie, I don't know if I know how to be a best friend. I don't know if I even know how to be myself. I'm…I got lost, in this mess. I got lost. You and I are both married, and this is supposed to have a boundary."

"Yes, it is, but Jamie, your marriage, can't have a boundary," Eddie replied gently. "It's dangerous for you and for Max. It's not healthy for you."

"I know it's not, but I don't even know what to do, if it were a victim on the streets sure, but when it's you…"

"Then pretend it's not you," Eddie advised. "What if it's me and Tom's hitting me and scaring April…"

"I'd kill him, I wouldn't think twice." Jamie's voice was stone cold, and Eddie knew it was true. He loved her that much, she had to make him love himself that much.

"I know," Eddie replied gently. "I know you would. Look at my face, look in my eyes and see my pain…that's here because you are being hurt. You'd stand up for me, you'd stand in front of me and take anything for me, right? That's what best friends do? Partners?"

Jamie nodded, "Yes, it is, but it's very different when it's a male. If I called this in, I'd be the laughing stock of the entire department. Jamie Reagan, PCs kid and training Sergeant gets beat up by his wife, that's really good."

"That's now what they would do," Eddie replied. "Those people are professionals and Jamie, people know. Kara knows something is wrong, Renzulli, Danny, the people that love you know something is wrong, Jamie. They want to help, but let's forget about that, I want to help, how can I help?"

Jamie reached across the table and held Eddie's hand, "You're helping already, just by listening. I can't believe I even said it all. I know I can't go back like it is now, but Max is so young if I try to leave now she'll get full custody without proof of the abuse."

As a cop, Eddie knew Jamie was right. As they talked she saw his brain come alive again thinking about ways to protect his little boy. "Well, you can't go back like it is, not now. There's no chance if you do. She's broken you down and if you go back..."

After breakfast, Jamie moved the car to a public lot and they strolled the wooded area behind the chalet, hand in hand, Eddie in Jamie's jacket. "There's a counselor, his name is Robert Price. He's dealt with male rape victims and some other male abuse cases that I worked on and I think he could help and if it came down to it, he could provide testimony on your behalf."

Jamie knew Eddie was right, he needed help to get out of this situation, and get himself back. "I'd like for you to set us up, I have to do this for Max and for you. I do still love you Eddie, I love you more than life and it's been killing me to be apart from you. You know I packed your Christmas gift just hoping…"

Eddie laughed, "I packed your Christmas gift…We always made time for each other on Christmas, even with me seeing Dad and you having your family. This is the first year we didn't…."

Jamie paused and turned to Eddie brushing back her hair…"Then let's make Christmas again….today…and celebrate it together."

Eddie loved the light she saw in Jamie's eyes, he was slowly peering out of his hole. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

Jamie's eyes lit up, "I have an idea…can you give me an hour before supper…You can freshen up or let Kara know she can stop holding her breath."

Eddie smiled, "Okay…for now, I'm hungry again. Let's find that corn dog place…"


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

Three corn dogs and a cherry coke later, Eddie returned to her room while Jamie headed out on his secret mission. "Okay, spill, what the heck is going on? Kara asked.

"Jamie's in a really bad place right now, he's in terrible physical and emotional pain. I should have pushed harder when he started to pull away, when he ended things, but I didn't. Stupid!"

"You didn't know, we all knew something was up but he was being very quiet…"

Eddie sighed, "I know he was, but this was me! Anyway, he wants to do something tonight. After he slept and we ate, he's more himself, he's smiling and his eyes are alive at least partly. Help me pick out something nice."

Eddie modeled for Kara while Jamie headed to the little shop he saw coming in. The sold ceramic trees and other decorative items. Jamie picked up a tree, some little carolers, and a snow globe then headed back to get ready for his time with Eddie. They lost two days, he wanted to make sure things were right before they left Montana.

Eddie knocked on Jamie's door at exactly six. She had chosen a blue halter dress with blue heels and her hair up. Jamie was in khakis and sport coat. When Jamie opened the door Eddie smelled smoked ham, cranberry sauce, and sweet potatoes. Christmas food. "Merry Christmas, Eddie," Jamie smiled and leaned over to give her a gentle peck on the lips.

"Merry Christmas," Eddie smiled and hugged Jamie tight. "This is …You got a tree...and the fireplace, Jamie you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to do it," he replied. "You deserve it, we always had this holiday together and I wrecked that. Do you want to eat first?"

"I always want to eat first," Eddie laughed taking her gift for Jamie and putting it by the tree.

Jamie pulled out Eddie's chair and turned on the music…Christmas classics. He dimmed the lights and lit the candles on the walls. "Okay, I have to ask about this room," Eddie said as she bit into her ham. "How did you ever afford this? Did Danny do it maybe hoping?"

"No, Danny couldn't afford this room," Jamie replied with a smile. "But my Dad could and I think he's pulling strings for us too. It seems we're more acceptable now married to other people than we were before. That's life I guess. Do you like the ham?"

"I do like the ham, but I love that you did this, Jamie…" Eddie reached over and drew a little heart on his hand. "this is just…it's incredible."

When their meal was done, and room service took it away, Jamie went to the tree and took out two boxes, "Do you want to do this now?"

Eddie wanted to hold him, that's what she really wanted. She wanted to kiss him deeply, but Jamie had to take that lead, he had to tell her what he needed and wanted from her now, she couldn't rush him. Their intimacy had to be his choice.

"Sure," Eddie replied. "I actually can't wait for you to see what I got you." Eddie took the small square box and handed it to Jamie. Jamie handed her a bag that was pretty heavy all things considered. "You first," Eddie prompted.

Jamie carefully opened the package and opened the box. Inside was a silver and onyx ID bracelet that was inscribed in Morse Code. It was something that Jamie and Eddie used often to communicate with blinks, pen clicks, and other subtle signals. Jamie read the code and smiled, a tear stinging his eye, "Love is patient and kind," he read. "It certainly is, when it's true." Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek. He tipped his head and softly kissed her lips, his tongue gently parting hers land tasting her sweetness. "Thank you."

Eddie was rocked by the kiss, she didn't expect Jamie to be so intimate just now, still she stood on her tiptoes and returned his sentiment with gentility of her own.

It was Eddie's turn next to open the presents. She reached into the bag and found a collection of her favorite lotions, skin treatments and other products that she liked to use on her sensitive skin and a small box wrapped in silk. At first, Eddie wasn't concerned with the silk, she opened the velvet box and touched the pin inside. "Jamie?"

"You told me once that your mother had one and I know that you wanted one. You can wear it with your suits and things…it'll look so lovely." Jamie took the Cameo broach and pinned it on Eddie's dress just above her heart. " Wear it and think of your Mom and how special she was. Think of me too."

Eddie smiled and fingered the pin on her chest, "I love it. It's beautiful…"

"Yes," Jamie replied touching Eddie's hand. "It is…there's something else there…"

Eddie looked down at the silk nightie, "Oh Jamie…" she sighed. "This is…." The nightie was rose with silk and lace. It was gentle, feminine and a very intimate present. "It's…"

"Empty," Jamie replied. "It's empty…I'd very much like for you to fill it."

"Are you sure, Jamie?" Eddie asked. "I mean, you've been through so much…"

"I'm sure I want to see you in that nightgown…let's leave the rest to nature, shall we? "

Eddie smiled, "I'll be right back…" She hurried to the bathroom to try on the inviting piece of silk. It fit her like a glove, every curve hugged in just the right way. Eddie had never felt more beautiful…until she stepped out of the bathroom to Jamie…the look on his face as he watched her move closer to him, now only in his khakis and belt, made her feel on top of the world.

Jamie closed the final gap and reached up to let Eddie's hair down. The blonde curls tumbled free from their clasp, Jamie discarded the clip and ran his fingers through the golden tresses. He stepped closer and pulled Eddie to him, simply holding her and rubbing his hands up and down her small body. Jamie rested his head on Eddie's head and rocked.

Eddie was content with this level of intimacy, after all that Jamie had been through she didn't expect for him to even kiss her. So, she was surprised when Jamie did dip his head and take her lips again before drawing her hands to his chest.

"Are you sure?" Eddie murmured as Jamie worked his fingertips under the strap of her nightie. "I don't…"

"I'm sure," Jamie replied. "I'm sure that I want this…nothing compares to this with you, Eddie nothing and nothing would ever ruin it. There's no comparison, Eddie, none at all…This is love…and I want to love you…"

Jamie knelt at Eddie's feet and gently pulled her hands until Eddie sank to her knees on the bearskin rug, the firelight illuminating her hair. Jamie took her hands and placed them on his belt, she held back a little bit, needing him to take the lead.

Jamie undid his belt and fly, then pushed his pants off his hips…Eddie could see he was ready for this, ready for her. "I love you, Jamie," Eddie whispered as she waited for him to remove the night gown she'd put on for him.

Jamie slid the pink silk off Eddie's shoulders and down her breasts. His mouth followed the trail of the silk each little kiss burning the flesh. Eddie shuddered at Jamie's touch, every nerve and fiber of her body was acutely alive. Eddie didn't initiate any attention, this time she let Jamie lead, let him set the pace…Slow and tender was the word of the day.

With the nightgown, off to the side and Jamie's clothing lying with it, Jamie laid Eddie down on the bearskin rug. She parted her thighs to invite him in closer, Jamie sighed and laid over Eddie, warming her body with his, touching her moist velvet flesh to be sure she was ready for him. "Say yes,' Jamie urged her, wanting to be sure he had her permission as much as she wanted to be sure he was in control.

"Yes…" Eddie panted. "Oh, yes…"

Jamie moved slowly, gently filling Eddie's core as her thighs involuntarily clamped around his waist. Their bodies moved in fluid motion, a dance as old as time, rhythm as old as love itself…Jamie buried his face in Eddie's chest, inhaling her scent, enjoying her softness…As they reached a simultaneous climax Eddie though she heard Jamie sob…though when she opened her eyes, she only saw a smile.

Jamie didn't dislodge himself from Eddie for the longest time, they both wanted and needed to stay connected as intimately as two people could for as long as possible. Eddie stroked Jamie's hair as he dozed with his head pillowed by her breast. This was their time, their special time…and it would stay that way…the how and the why, that was for tomorrow, for tonight was solely about their love.

When their heartbeats returned to normal, Jamie lay on his back with Eddie pressed against his uninjured side. She had been very careful to avoid causing him any pain, physical or emotional.

"What are you thinking?" Eddie asked Jamie as he absently stroked her arm, their bodies still glistening with perspiration.

"Nothing," Jamie replied honestly. "Absolutely nothing." He dropped a kiss on Eddie's head. "What are you thinking?"

Eddie signed and rubbed her finger between Jamie's nipples, "That this is bliss, pure bliss."

Jamie ran his hand through Eddie's hair, "It is that, and we have five more nights of this...if you want it."

Eddie propped herself up on her elbow, "Of course I want it," she replied quickly. "I love you Jamie, I've wanted this for a year. I know you did too, so let's make the most of it."

Eddie got up from the cocoon of quilts and covers and grabbed the calendar for the week. "We have today pretty free, just that one mandatory eastern...and tomorrow is full up and we're separated mostly...Detectives in one seminar and Sergeants trainers in a different one. That's going to be tough, we don't even have the same lunch."

"What about that night?" Jamie asked. "Is that..."

"That is wide open and we have a fifteen-minute break at two thirty, we can try to get a soda or something..." Eddie winked when she said or something.

"Jamie, I want you to know that as much as I love making love, that's not all this is for me. I want our friendship too, our connection. We can take this part as fast or as slow as you need us to."

Jamie's eyes filled up with tears, "I just can't believe I let it get this far. And I still don't know how to get out of it. With Claudia, it's not a matter of saying I want out, she's...relentless and she's...I'll need that therapist to help guide that, it can't come down on Max. He's the one thing I can't give up and won't sacrifice to her."

Eddie sat on the rug again and curled back up to Jamie. "Of course, you won't and I won't let you. We will get through this part together, we...even under the guise of being friends. We will do it as a team."

"Reagan and Janko ride again," Jamie laughed. "I can do this with you, Eddie. I can't do it without you."

"You won't be without me," Eddie promised. "You won't be without me, I love you so much..." Eddie pulled Jamie into her chest. She would be wearing many hats with him; lover, partner, caregiver, friend...That was all right with her. She had to be what he needed her to be, he always had been what she needed...except...but that was past...they had the future now.

"Try to sleep..." Eddie felt Jamie getting heavy against her. "I'm here, try to sleep."

Eddie was surprised about how well he did, the trauma he experienced would have kept some people being able to let go. Eddie relished in this, she knew it might not come so easily for him again.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

Jamie was up before Eddie and showered by the time she woke. She could hear him on the phone in a higher pitched voice. "You miss Daddy? Oh...I know little man, Pop's making you do chores already. Daddy will be home soon, I miss you buddy..."

Eddie heard Max's little voice cooing back, Jamie was having face time with his son, he was such a sweet father, she couldn't see him separated from Max. That would have to become one of their goals.

Eddie slid into Jamie's discarded shirt and sleepily padded over to him. "Hey, how's he doing?"

"He's cruising all around the place, getting into mischief. He'll be a year old in ten weeks, I can't believe it. My life has changed so much since he was born." Jamie pulled Eddie in for a good morning kiss.

"They do make it better in so many ways," Eddie replied. "April is changing so much and growing so much too. They are just..."

"Are you missing her? Call Tom or the nanny and see if they will do a skype or face time. Pop learned face time."

Eddie smiled, "Later, now we have to motor because we have that four hour mandatory. I asked Kara to save us seats."

"We need to buy Kara lunch, if she didn't lock our stubborn butts in that closet, we'd have wasted this entire week, not just two days,"

"We'll do it this week for sure," Eddie replied. "Let me shower, you go forage some breakfast for us."

A quick frozen omlette was the meal of the day for them, by ten they were sitting in the seminar room side by side with Kara on the edge to block thier clasped hands from view. Her friends resembled high schoolers, too in love to let the other one go. While the presenters droned on and on, both Jamie and Eddie were thinking of the night that passed and the night to come.

When the conference broke, Jamie took Eddie behind the chalet and pulled her into his arms. "You smell too good to just sit next to me. How does anyone in the room..."

"Down boy, we have hours more yet, it's not even our full lunch,' eddie replied. "I was thinking though, they have that game restaurant down the road a way, what if we went there tonight. A little date?"

Jamie smiled, "Do you date your soulmate or does that just happen?"

"I think it happens," Eddie replied. "But you have to water it too...love is like a garden, it needs a lot of care to bloom. I want this to bloom. I know we have to have some serious talks this week, but maybe tonight, it can be some fun."

Jamie liked that idea a lot, both the talks and the fun. He needed Eddie's guidance but he also needed her smile. Tonight he'd make sure one never left her face.

"Party of two," Jamie told the maitre D at the restaurant that night. "We'd like a window, but nothing too cold please."

Jamie has his arm around Eddie's shoulders holding her in close and tight as if she was his and his alone. She was wearing only a moderate heel to keep herself smaller and allow Jamie to feel like a protector and herself to feel cherished. Size was important sometimes.

"Right this way." They were led up an elegant staircase to the second floor. The room overlooked a large center fireplace and had a view of the Montana sky. "Perfect, thank you."

Jamie held Eddie's chair and took a seat across from her. The waiter came over, "Would you and your lovely wife care for a bottle of wine this evening?"

Jamie looked at Eddie, her eyes lit up at the reference. "Yes a dry red please," Eddie replied as the waiter hurried off.

"My lovely wife?" Jamie smiled at her. "that's how it should be and I..."

"Ssh,' Eddie rushed to stop him. "Tonight, let it be how it is."

The waiter poured the wine and they ordered an appetizer plate to share. Whenever he and Eddie shared food, Jamie held back. He liked to watch her eat and experience the different flavors. "Aren't you going to eat?" Eddie asked as Jamie watched her.

"You're enjoying it so much," he smiled. "I'll have a couple bites. I like to see you happy."

Eddie fed Jamie a few bites, "Seeing you happy does that for me. You need to gain a little weight, my pillow isn't fluffy enough."

Jamie laughed, the sound music to Eddie's ears. The main course arrived, Jamie's buffalo filet with potatoes and Eddie's venison with duck bacon risotto. They split and shared the meals each enjoying one as much as the other.

One of Jamie's favorite songs began to play as the main course was cleared and the dessert menu passed out to them. A few couples were dancing around the large fireplace to the live music. Jamie stood up and offered Eddie his hand, "May I have this dance?"

Eddie heard the lyrics and smiled, she knew his offer was more than just a dance, it was his way of telling her how he felt.

It was your song that made me sing

It was your voice that gave me wings

And it was your light that shined

Guiding my heart to find

This place where I belong

It was your song

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, she knew he was going through something awful, but he was telling her here and now she was his strength and his courage. That he was going to do this, to take back his life.

Every night I pray

Before the music starts to play

That I'll do my best and I won't let you down

And for all the times I've stood here

This feeling feels brand new

And any time I doubt myself I think of you

Jamie held onto Eddie, they had always been each other's strength. He gazed into her beautiful eyes and knew their connection was made once again, and like fine china, once broken it was twice as strong with the mending.

'Cause It was your song that made me sing

It was your voice that gave me wings

And it was your light that shined

Guiding my heart to find

This place where I belong

It was your song

Dreams can come true

With God's great angels like you

"God gave me you," Eddie whispered into Jamie's ear. "He gave me you…you're my heartsong…"

Jamie didn't care they were being watched, he dipped his head and sealed their sentiment with his kiss.

On the second floor, an older couple watched the younger version of themselves share a dance and cued the waiter, they had a gift for them.

Their dessert was a shared chocolate concoction. While they enjoyed two glasses of champagne were brought to the table. "This is courtesy of the lady and gentleman over there..."

The waiter indicated an older couple both smiling. "They said they saw themselves in you."

Jamie raised this glass to the couple and then to Eddie. "To that being us...one day when we fix all of the mistakes we made. Let's promise here and now to come back here...old and grey if we have to...and be together."

Eddie stroked Jamie's hand across the table, "We will, Jamie. We will. I promise you that."

Jamie stood and walked around the table, he placed a kiss on Eddie's lip, soft and gentle, full of promise of things to come.

They settled their bill and headed back to the hotel. The back entrance was next to Jamie's suite, this likely the work of the Commissioner as well as the size of the room. "Come on..you look a little sore. Let's get comfy and watch a little TV. Maybe order a movie?"

That sounded good to Jamie, he picked the film while Eddie lit the candles and set up the bed. She shared a few texts with Tom to check on April, Jamie did the same with Frank. As the film played, so did Eddie, her went up and down Jamie's chest, her foot up and down his leg. Tension radiated off his body. "Turn over..." Eddie whispered as she gently removed his shirt. "I'll give you a massage."

Eddie kept her touch very light at first, she didn't want to push too hard and trigger pain that would ruin the moments they were making together. Jamie shut his eyes as Eddie's delicate fingers worked the kinks in his neck.

"Honey, I'm home," Jamie called out as he stepped into their modest Bay Ridge home. Eddie stepped out of the kitchen, hair in a ponytail, Max on her hip and April in the bassinet.

"Hey, I heard about your tour," Eddie sighed giving Jamie a kiss hello. "I'm sorry."

Jamie took Max in his arms and cuddled the boy before giving little April a kiss on the head. "He looks ready for a nap."

"He is, why don't you put him down and I'll finish getting dinner ready?" Teamwork, always teamwork.

Jamie was at his neck through dinner, an intense headache the result of a bad day at the office. Jamie pushed his half eaten meal away when he felt his wife's tender hands rubbing away the hurt, erasing the tension from his neck and back.

"What did I do to deserve you, Mrs. Reagan?" Jamie asked moaning in pleasure.

"I love the sound of that," Eddie replied in real time. "I love this little game…taking care of each other like we were that" Eddie placed a kiss on the back of Jamie's neck. There was so much tension there.

Eddie worked the knots on his neck harder, then slid her hand down Jamie's back, moving and pressing. "You feel so good, so smooth and hard too…I love this…how you feel under my hands.

Jamie kept his eyes shut, caught in a their precious dream. Eddie and him together, rasising their kids, expanding the family…making a baby together, their love running over until it created a whole other person…that's how his father explained it to him, that's how he wanted it to bed.

Eddie's hands moved to Jamie's taunt muscled legs and then down to his feet. She remembered in their partnership he was starting to have trouble with his feet hurting after long tours, the arch nearly fallen in one of them. Eddie gently urged Jamie to turn over and took his foot in her hand. She worked the arch, the heel, each toe. Eddie lifted Jamie's foot to her cheek and held it there.

Jamie laughed at her, "I thought you hated feet."

"I do, but this one needs some love," Eddie replied and placed a kiss on each of his toes before switching to the other foot.

Jamie relished in Eddie's attention, his body began to stir, he wanted to take her then and there, but…he realized suddenly Eddie was focusing solely on him and on his needs and desires. Jamie remembered one other lesson from his childhood, that each person had to meet needs and desires. It could never be one-sided, that made it selfish and love was never that. Jamie remembered his father kissing his mother, then Mary caressing Frank's cheek. That trust came from everything being special and shared.

Jamie remembered, as Eddie worked on his stomach and chest, being careful of his injured ribs, Eddie said it was always her wish for someone to wash her hair for her in the shower and to make that experience erotic in a sense. Jamie smiled to himself as he planned to make that happen for her, it wouldn't just be erotic, it would be romantic as well.

Jamie sat up and gave Eddie a kiss, his tongue tasting her, his lungs breathing air into her and hers breathing air into him. Jamie took Eddie by the hands and tugged a little. "What are you doing? Did I?" Eddie asked.

"No," Jamie murmured. "Oh no, but it's your turn."

Disclaimer: We borrowed the song, we don't own it, Garth Brooks does.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Jamie turned on the water and made sure it was warm enough. He remembered seeing Eddie's skin after her shower, bright red, the water burning hot.

Jamie helped Eddie into the shower and took her in his arms as they stood under the spray. The water was a bit hot for his skin, but this was Eddie's turn, this time was about her.

Jamie held her hands in his, looking down at Eddie as she looked up at him. Eddie had moved her shampoo and other items into his room earlier that day. Jamie filled his large palms with her lilac scented shampoo and lathered it well before entwining his hands in her golden hair. Jamie's hands massaged Eddie's head, tenderly rubbing her scalp, her temples, and her neck. Eddie moaned, and sighed as Jamie put a kiss on her neck. Eddie dropped her head down and rolled her neck so that Jamie had better access to the hollows of her throat.

Jamie spun Eddie in his arms. He knelt down and kissed the water as it dripped from her face down her breasts and to the cherished place between her thighs. Jamie looked up and met Eddie's eyes, his silent request for permission to taste her in a very intimate way.

Eddie closed her eyes slowly, conveying the ultimate trust as Jamie's tongue slipped out and ran along her inner folds. Honey, she reminded him of the sweetest honey blossom. Jamie drank in her taste…

Eddie's legs began to fail her at the intense pleasure, she felt her body rocketing to orgasm from Jamie's attention. "Hold me," she gasped out. "Hold me please…"

Jamie's strong arms pulled Eddie down and in close to him, his mouth still teasing and tantalizing her. Eddie's back was against the shower wall, her body involuntarily moving against Jamie's mouth. She slid down the wall and into Jamie's waiting arms, her body weak from the intensity of the feeling. Almost helpless, Eddie let Jamie rinse her hair and body free of soap.

The water had gone cold by the time Jamie was finished with his special brand of torture. Jamie turned off the spray and lifted Eddie, still wet and naked into his arms…

Carefully, Jamie laid Eddie down on the king size bed. Jamie stood over Eddie. She put her hands over her head, totally giving herself to Jamie. Jamie slowly lowered his body over her body. "What are you doing?" Eddie asked gently. She wanted him to be sure.

"Now, it's our turn,' Jamie whispered as he closed the gap.

Eddie reached out for Jamie, wanting nothing more than to pull him close and hold him. She loved to lay her head against his chest and cuddle with him, but it was clear he had other ideas. Jamie didn't go for her lips first, this time he aimed for the sensitive hollow of her neck. Jamie gently nibbled the bathe the area with his tongue. Eddie sighed, "Jamie…oh…"

Eddie moaned and smiled into Jamie's shoulder. "Oh…"He had her beyond words, beyond space and time. Jamie smiled down at Eddie, his hands cupped her breasts, feeling their weight and their softness. Jamie dropped his head and burrowed between Eddie's breasts, his tongue licking and biting the nipple. Eddie wanted to turn over and pay some attention to Jamie, but she was still cognizant of the fact he had such difficulties. She could give him the most by holding back a little bit.

Eddie let Jamie have control, her hands held Jamie's head loosely, one stroking up and down his back in soft gentle caresses. Eddie's body was already throbbing and ready for Jamie, "Now…" she gasped. "Please Jamie, now! Now!"

"Not yet," Jamie panted. "Not yet, not fast…" Eddie felt Jamie's manhood pressed again her thigh. "I need…I need you…"

"I know, I'm here, baby, I'm here…I love you, Eddie."

Eddie reached up and drew Jamie into a long and passionate kiss. They tongues danced, their cheeks met, and the electricity escalated until fireworks were exploding and Jamie was ready to bring them together.

Eddie opend her thighs, cradling Jamie between them. She arched her back and he pushed into her. Her body was tight and hot, fitting to Jamie like a leather glove. Their rhythm was perfect, thrust for thrust Jamie matched Eddie's arches. Eddie cried out, then Jamie, then their cries mingled in harmoy….

Jamie fell against Eddie, Eddie gasped his name. There was a bliss about this connection that neither ever felt before with anyone. Their love was certain as the sunrise…sure and true as the revolution of the earth around the sun. The sheets were twisted among their legs. Jamie smiled, "Eddie I…"

"Ssh," Eddie whispered. "Don't talk…don't speak just…be with me. Be with me now…"

Jamie shut his eyes, and held onto the dream of being with her now, later, and one day, he hoped forever.

The next day was crazy and busy for both Jamie and Eddie and much to their chagrin, they didn't have any seminars together. Detectives and Sergeant were separated as well as officers. "2:15?" Eddie confirmed with Jamie. 'Back here for a few minutes to reconnect?"

Jamie smiled, "I'll miss you today. Dinner with Kara tonight then another movie?"

Eddie smiled, "Yes…any kind you want." Jamie gave Eddie one more quick kiss before they headed their separate ways.

Kara was waiting for Eddie outside the detective seminar. "Oh, you have to give me details like now. I lock you in a closet for fighting and now we are out here and you two are playing house! Spill!"

"I can't," Eddie replied. "I can't right now except to say that I owe you big and we are treating you to dinner tonight. You pick the place."

"Wow, I must rate if you are giving up a night of romance to take out little old me," Kara laughed. "How's he doing? Is he feeling better?"

"Yeah, he's feeling a lot better," Eddie replied. "He's talking a lot, and before we leave we're going to make a plan to get him happier and healthier. That woman, she's a monster and better hope I never see her in a dark alley with my gun."

"Amen sister friend," Kara replied. "I'll catch you guys later. Hugs."

The entire time Eddie and Jamie were in their respective seminars, they were both thinking of the other. Eddie found herself mindlessly doodling on her notepad, Jamie kept bouncing his knee. Every time they looked at the clock it felt like it went backwards, though somehow it finally turned to 2pm.

Jamie hurried to his room from the east, Eddie from the west. They almost literally crashed into one another. Jamie grabbed Eddie around her waist, Eddie grabbed Jamie around the shoulders. They only had a half hour…

Their hands were flying pulling off clothing, ripping at buttons…Eddie pushed Jamie's pants and boxers down around his ankles, Jamie pulled off Eddie's bra and hoisted her up against him. As the pace escalated though only Eddie's excitement hastened. Jamie's body for sure didn't. Eddie first noticed the change in Jamie's breathing. It was fast and hard, but not from excitement and arousal, from fear. Jamie's fear sucked the desire out of Eddie. She slid down his body and gently touched him. "Jamie, you okay? Jamie…"

Jamie was sweating and the look in his eyes was hollow and far off. "Jamie talk to me honey. Please talk to me…"

"I uh…" Jamie began. "I can't…I can't do this Eddie. I can't do it…I…" Jamie backed away from Eddie and sank down on the bed. He hid his face with his hands, not able to even look at Eddie. His eyes fell on his flaccid, naked flesh…he failed again, but this time the consequences of that were even worse.

Eddie fixed her clothing then slowly closed the space between Jamie and her. "Jamie…" Eddie approached him very carefully. "Jamie, can you tell me where you are right now?"

"I'm sorry, Eddie," Jamie murmured. He knew that she wouldn't hurt him, that she was safe, in his head, but his heart was still wounded and needing protecting. "It's okay honey. It happens…you…" Eddie reached out for Jamie and he jerked back.

"No, don't' touch…"

Eddie held her hands neutral, "Okay, okay, I won't touch. How about you lie down though, cover yourself up a little and just rest a minute."

Eddie didn't know what to do…they had tried a quick rendezvous, they both agreed to it, but somehow, someway it triggered something in Jamie. His body had not responded to her at all, and his mind was somewhere else. "Jamie…here…" Eddie offered him some water. "We have to get back up and go back to the seminar. Can you get up for me and we'll eat dinner later?"

"I can't…I'm just so sorry, Eddie. I can't…" Jamie hadn't even heard a word she said. Eddie bit her lip, her throat hurt with the need to cry out…all the progress they had made was seeminly up in smoke.

"I know, it' sokay," Eddie replied though she felt just as sad and sullen as Jamie. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry if I was too fast, I'm very sorry if that was…"

"Don't!" Jamie almost demanded. "Don't do this, don't!"

"Okay, all right, it's oaky…" Eddie reached out to stroke Jamie's hair but he pulled away in shame.

Eddie stood up, "I think you need to rest and just let your body settle down. I'll go to my last seminar and I'll make excuses for you at yours, okay? We'll see how you feel about dinner with Kara. Take a nap." Eddie leaned over Jamie and pressed a kiss on his lips. Even though he retreated further, she wouldn't give that up, not that...She had to keep at least that part of their connection alive.

Eddie barely paid attention to the seminar, she tried but her mind kept going back to her Jamie in bed, so sad and afraid. Eddie went back right after the class ended and checked on Jamie. He murmured he wasn't hungry and rolled over, fresh tears on his face. "Please go…enjoy, don't worry about me…"

As Eddie was heading out of the room, she heard him murmur, "Useless, spineless and uselee…"

When Kara opened the bedroom door to meet Eddie and Jamie, she saw Eddie running in her direction. "What's the matter Eddie? What happened?"

Eddie broke down into sobs, "Kara, it's awful It' just so awful…"

Kara sighed and put her arms around Eddie. "How did we go from on top of the world to awful?

"I hurt him, Kara," Eddie sobbed. "I hurt him. I should have realized, I should have stopped it. He won't get up, he won't talk to me…I hurt him…"

The sounds emanating from Eddie broke Kara's heart. 'You didn't hurt him, Eddie, that bitch he's married to hurt him and you're just reaping some of what she sowed is all. Jamie's had it really rough this last year, he's going to struggle and you just have to give him space…and love…"

"He was so happy the last two days, we made love on this big rug in his room and we held each other tight and said we love each other and tonight…he's back to the man you locked me in the closet with. Just like that." Eddie snapped her fingers.

Kara took a breath, "Okay, you wash up and we'll go eat. You bring him some dinner and you work it out, don't let him hide okay?"

Eddie went to freshen up and calm herself down, Kara, though headed to call Danny.

"Hey Walsh how's it going?" Danny asked as he ate a donut for dinner.

"It was going great until just now," Kara replied. "Claudia did a number on him, boy. He and Eddie snuck off for a quick roll in the hay between seminars and she just came back to our room in tears. Something happened and he shut her down. Eddie said she hurt him…"

"Claudia liked it rough," Danny sighed. "She would do a lot of physical stuff, maybe something triggered it. Keep an eye on it, I have some work to do on this end. I can't let my brother and nephew go back to that shit show. Thanks for being my eyes and ears, you ever need a rabbi, you got one."

Kara smiled, "I might just take you up on the Reagan."

Eddie stepped out of the bathroom, "You ready to go. I know I can use a bloody Mary and some chicken parmigiana."

"Than that is what you'll get, my friend," Kara replied sliding her arm through Eddie's. "It's going to be okay, he'll be okay I promise you."

Eddie wasn't so sure. She managed to eat her entire plate and a big slice of chocolate cake. Kara kept the talk up but they were both worried about Jamie. Eddie ordered him pasta vodka and a canoli and took it back to him in his room.

Eddie let herself into the suite and found Jamie still sound asleep. Tears were dried on his face. Eddie softly kissed his head and left his food with a note.

 _Dearest Jamie,_

 _I came to check on your but you're sleeping, I know you need it to heal so I won't wake you. It hurt my heart to see you in so much pain, and to think I might have brought it on…doubly so. I'd never hurt you Jamie, and no matter what happens between us, I'd never be angry at you about something that wasn't your fault. I think that you need a little space from me though to regroup and get your head around things. I'm not leaving you or rejecting you, just giving your some room to breathe, a little time to think…I'll be waiting at the coffee cart for you tomorrow, and we'll talk about everything then._

 _All my love,_

 _Eddie_

Eddie kissed the note and left it by his food. She hoped he'd wake up to eat and know she wasn't leaving him for good, just for a time so he could find his footing. Quietly, Eddie padded out of the room and back to the one she was assigned to share with Kara to try to get some sleep of her own.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

Jamie woke up alone around two am. His phone was lit up with ten texts from Danny and two from his Dad. He ignored them. "Was he okay?" he didn't even know. Jamie looked all around the room for Eddie. He knew in his heart she wouldn't be there, he ruined that with his little freak out.

Jamie padded to the bathroom, planning to take a shower and wash this horrible experience off his body and out of his head. As he passed the table he saw the take out bag, a bottle of iced tea, and a note. He couldn't resist…

As Jamie read Eddie's hand written words, his heart swelled, then quickly sank. He'd put her in the same category with Claudia, he'd assumed that because he let her down he's lost his worth. It was clear from the care Eddie took picking out food and drink for him and writing such a heartfelt letter. Jamie hated that she felt she had to go away and give him space, he didn't need space, he needed her. That was all.

Jamie threw on some sweat pants and shoes and headed to Kara's room intent on bringing Eddie back. When Jamie raised his hand to knock he heard a very unsettling sound, the sound of Eddie's tears.

Jamie knocked softly, "Eddie, Kara, open up it's me."

Kara slid off the side of Eddie's bed where she'd been perched comforting her friend. Kara kept her eyes soft when she saw Jamie even though she was upset that he'd hurt Eddie's feelings. "She won't stop," Kara sighed.

"I'll make her stop," Jamie replied and went to the bed. "Eddie, honey come on now…I'm sorry. I was childish and selfish pushing you away like that. I was ashamed of myself, that was something I couldn't ever have, a failure like that…but you made it okay, Eddie. You made it okay and I…I hurt you when I put that wall up. I'm so very sorry.'

Eddie sat up, "I'm sorry, I pushed and it was too fast. I…didn't know what to do, I needed to help but I didn't…"

Jamie began to kiss the tears off Eddie's face, "Ssh, baby, ssh…" Jamie rocked. "No more tears, okay, no more tears. I know…I know after what happened one thing for sure. That you belong with me, that you need to pack the rest of your things from here and come back to me. We don't have forever just yet, you have your little family to go home to…but we do have a few more days and we need to use them."

Eddie smiled and nuzzled to Jamie's chest, "Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, I'm really okay. It's late and Kara is snoring leaning on the door there, so let's go back to the suite, get some sleep, you can pack in the morning?" Jamie asked softly kissing Eddie's head.

"Okay, let me get up…we'll go…"

Eddie smiled at Kara, "No more tears,' she told her friend. "I'll see you in the morning."

Hand in hand, Jamie and Eddie walked back to his room. Eddie heated Jamie's dinner but he only picked at it, he was more focused on her and the drying tears on her cheeks. "What?" he asked sensing something was still on her mind.

"If I'm going to stay here with you and make a go of anything, I need a promise from you, a solemn promise," Eddie said in a firm but gentle voice.

"Anything," Jamie replied holding her hands and her gaze.

"Promise me you will never, ever call yourself useless again, or spineless or anything terrible, Promise me that I will never hear that come from you again!" Eddie's blue gaze shined, she meant this.

"I promise…" Jamie replied firmly. "Never again…I know I'm not…with you I know I'm not."

Both Jamie and Eddie were too tired to even attempt intimacy that night. Eddie curled into Jamie's side and shut her eyes. Jamie arms came around her immediately to offer comfort and support. "I never want to hear you cry like that again, at least not because of me,' Jamie sighed as Eddie slowly dozed. "I am truly sorry."

"It's over and done with now," Eddie replied gently. "There's nothing to be sorry for, try to get some rest. We both need it."

Jamie ended up watching Eddie sleep. She was exhausted from the emotions of the day. Jamie had forgotten what it felt like to take care of a woman when she was upset. His words and his arms had stopped those tears, she stopped making that sound that tore at him more than anything Claudia could say or do.

When they woke up in the morning, Jamie moved over Eddie to give her a kiss. She smiled and ran her hand down his cheek. "You have to be starving, you barely ate last night."

"I'm hungry," Jamie replied. "Are you okay? I was worried about you."

"I'm good," Eddie assured him and met his lips. "I need a shower and if you still want me to move down here…"

"I do, I'll help you carry everything over on the lunch break," Jamie replied. 'I have to make up that training course at the teleconference center but I'm free after two. You want to get a later lunch and then have a movie and room service?"

"Sure, but it's my turn to pick the movie," Eddie reminded Jamie with a wink and smile.

Once the shower was running, Jamie headed off to the conference center. Tonight, he hoped ordering dinner in would help them both relax and give nature a little push. That together with not seeing each other all day should be enough to do the trick.

As promised, at lunch Jamie helped Eddie move her things to his suite, then with a kiss and hug they went their separate ways again. It wasn't until after six when they regrouped and met up in Jamie's room. Eddie was there first, she had put on a pair of sweats and pulled her hair in a messy ponytail. She did not want Jamie to feel like she wanted to be intimate or that there was pressure to be, in fact, it was the opposite, Eddie was a little afraid. When Jamie broke down, she's gotten very scared. She had never seen him like that and now in the last five days he'd been like that more than once. Eddie didn't want to inadvertently cause him pain again.

"You look so cute," Jamie complimented when he got to the room. "Steak frites for dinner and a bottle chianti."

Eddie accepted the bag of food and Jamie's kiss. "I already picked, the movie. Unstoppable…you like that one too."

They ate on the bed out of the containers and sipped the wine in the hotel issue cups. A few times Jamie moved closer and slid his arm around Eddie. She found a reason to get up and move. Once, Jamie even tried to cop a feel, something he never did before in a benign way…Eddie moved again after letting this hand brush her breast. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I can't tonight…I just…"

Jamie sighed, "You're nervous because of what happened?"

"No," Eddie fibbed. "No, I'm just…I'm just not in the mood I guess…" Eddie new the argument was weak, she didn't want to hurt him, and it seemed no matter what she did she could do just that.

Jamie turned on his side and pulled Eddie close, "Let's just lay together a little bit…"

Jamie slowly rubbed Eddie's back and neck, kissing her temple, her hair, her neck, "You are so beautiful…classic beauty, timeless, not trendy and crazy…just beautiful."

Eddie rolled into Jamie's chest, she knew he wanted to make love, she could feel his physical desire pressing into her back. That didn't stop the fact that she witnessed the man she loved berating himself over failure to perform and that was after the speed of their last encounted frightened him. Eddie couldn't get herself to a place where she could relinquish her control right now, she had to protect Jamie and be that person for him. She had no choice.

Jamie mouth was working it's magic, he was kissing so softly but very intentionally. Eddie moved her body to the side, she wanted to try for him. Eddie moved her hands up to cup Jamie's cheeks and met his lips in a deep kiss.

Jamie's hands ran down Eddie's back and up under her sweatshirt. He found the clasp of her bra and undid it, discarding the garment. Jamie worked the top off and exposed Eddie's breasts to his view. "Beautiful," Jamie sighed and removed his own shirt pressing his skin to hers, true bonding.

Eddie did fine with the kissing and the touching, but when Jamie slid his hand into the waistband of her pants, and slid it between her legs then he stopped. Every other time Jamie touched her there she was dripping, ready for him…tonight she was dry…not at all ready for what his body and his heart wanted to share.

Jamie sighed and pulled Eddie tight against him, " It's all right, honey. It's all right…" Jamie kissed her head and pressed it so she was lying on his bare chest. She wasn't ready and right now wasn't willing. She'd given him love and patience the day before, he could give her no less now.

The tension in Eddie's body showed Jamie she wasn't ready to talk either, so instead of pushing harder, Jamie let go and simply held Eddie in his arms, accepting, at least for now all she was able to give.

Eddie dozed on and off as Jamie held her closer and tight. She wanted him, God knows she did, but she was still dealing with the image of him lying in bed so hurt and defeated. What if she pressed too hard again? What would that mean for them? Maybe tomorrow they could talk it out, for now Eddie was content to accept Jamie's tender loving care, touched to her core by his tenderness.

Jamie knew pushing would get him nowhere, when Eddie dozed off he did too, tomorrow he'd try again to get her to surrender, tomorrow was another day.

Eddie's sleep was very uneasy that night. She tossed and turned, she mumbled things. Once again, Jamie sat up with her easing her fussing and her upset. He couldn't do this to her. It was becoming more and more clear what he was going to have to do when he got home, that included cutting off all sex with Claudia and moving out of the apartment for good. Jamie knew he had to be careful in doing that, Max was still his top priority, full custody and supervised visits were an absolute must.

Jamie dozed off around dawn and woke up with Eddie placing a kiss on his cheek. She was already dressed for the day. "Hey, sleepyhead, did you forget we had that team building seminar at 8?"

Jamie groaned, "No, I just though we'd blow it off. It's not a mandatory one."

"I know, but it's usually fun," Eddie replied. "If we hurry we might even get to be partners for it."

Jamie rolled out of bed and quickly showered and dressed. They met Kara at the coffee cart and the three of them went to the group together. Kara partnered off with another lady Eddie knew from Suffolk County, and Jamie paired off with Eddie. "Sergeant Reagan and Detective Janko were partners for five years in the NYPD before her transfer. I'm sure they will be able to demonstrate for us the trust that must exist for a partnership to be a success. If you would indulge us in this demonstration."

Jamie and Eddie laughed, somehow they always ended up doing the falling exercise together. Eddie remembered the first time at the 12th, they were teased mercilessly after about how quickly they handled it. Today, Eddie had doubts about the trust. Not hers in Jamie, that had been repaired, but his in her. Could he totally rely on her to catch him after the other day? Could he totally rely on anyone?

Eddie fell first and she easily allowed herself to drop into Jamie's arms. When Jamie caught her, Eddie felt that same heat and security she felt anytime his arms went around her. She did want his arms around her again, she wanted him inside her again, but it was just too much too fast for him. No one had been putting him first.

Next it was Jamie's turn. The lump was already in Eddie's throat for when this exercise failed. She knew he didn't trust her to keep him safe anymore. Jamie did fall though and fell free. He knew Eddie was going to be there to catch him. He was glad about this stupid exercise for a change, it gave him the chance to show her that he knew she was there for him, always.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

They shared lunch with Kara, the three finally getting to sit down together. "This is on me," Jamie told Kara even after she ordered a prime rib sandwich and extra coleslaw. "And a dinner before we leave too, I really can't thank you enough for helping to fix what I so badly screwed up."

Eddie covered Jamie's hand, "You didn't, we both played a part in messing this up countless time, but yes, Kara, we owe you more than a prime rib sandwich."

"You two did the work, in fact, I'm a little jealous, I wish I had with Matt what you two have. "Don't get me wrong, the marriage is great, it's the union of souls that I desire."

Jamie looked at Eddie, "It's very rare and very special that's for sure." He couldn't help but kiss her softly even in front of their friend. Jamie wanted to quicky reestablish their connection but he had to be careful of Eddie.

Heavy rain kept everyone at the chalet that night, it was damp and cold enough for Jamie to light up the fireplace again. He sat with Eddie in his arms, allowing her to lean against him as he absently stroked her arm up and down, enjoying the sweet silence. Still, he finally broke it. "Eddie, we need to talk about something really important."

"Hmm?" Eddie replied sleepily. "What's that?"

"What happened the other day," Jamie replied. "I wouldn't bring it up again except that I can see you were more effected by it than even I was and that...It's killing me inside to see you having so much pain…"

"That's just it," Eddie replied. "It killed me to see you that way. That was not you, it wasn't you!"

"I know, that was the shell I became before these last few days with you," Jamie replied. 'You are like a balm for my spirit, you truly make me believe I can do anything and you make me want to do everything too," Jamie took a breath. "Including taking the steps to divorce Claudia and get full custody of Max. It's going to take some doing to disengage myself from her, she insisted on joint everything, but I'm going to start working on that. I'll spend as much times as I can at Dad's and when I can't my bed is on the floor near my Max, I won't lie with her again, or be with her again."

"Jamie, you told me that she pushes you and pressures you…" Eddie sighed. "That she violent with you if you deny her. She could snap and beat you or Max to death…" Eddie was scared, her eyes showed it.

"No,' Jamie said firmly. "No, she won't do that. I won't let her do that, I'll defend myself and my son. I promise." Jamie pulled Eddie close and felt her latch onto him.

"I'll have your back, partner," Eddie told Jamie. "I will be there every step of the way until you're free of this nightmare. I promise you that."

Jamie gently began to kiss Eddie as they held onto one another. It was the natural thing to do, to seal their promises with kisses and candlelight. "I can't be with another woman, Eddie,' Jamie told her as he continued to gently kiss and arouse her. "You're it for me now, I'm faithful to you now no matter what happens, I will be faithful to you."

Jamie's soft promises and gentle touches brought Eddie to confess her secrets as well. "I would be nice for one man to make me his one and only."

That really got Jamie's attention, "Wait a minute, Tom…Tom's unfaithful to you? Regularly or…"

"I'm actually not sure if he's unfaithful to me or if he's unfaithful to Sue,' Eddie replied. "He's been with her for years, long before we got married. I think we met at a time in his life when he was ready to settle down. Sue was married when he hired her, and even though they got divorced in our circle, even when I grew up it's just not done. You don't marry your secretary or the nanny…even if you love them more than life, you just don't. I'm the trophy wife, April is the heir, and Sue is…the love of Tom's life."

Jamie wanted to be angry with Tom, he wanted to go to that house in Manhasset and tell him what a wonderful woman he had and what he was giving up, however, he and Eddie had an affair too, they had given up their vows too, there wasn't much they could complain about in regards to Tom's affair.

"Come here," Jamie sighed and pulled Eddie to him. "You need to end it with Tom, Eddie. You aren't being faithful, he isn't faithful, you're not in love with each other. You need to end it just as much as me."

"I accepted his affair, and what I am to him, I grew up in that world, my father was with the nanny for fifteen years," Eddie replied. ""But I think you're right, I do think it's time be both focus on what's best for our families. For you, that's certainly steps for divorce and I think once you're settled and apart from Claudia, that's the right step for me too. I do love Tom, as friend, and the father of my baby girl, but that's not fair to him, you, me, especially April."

Somehow, in the security of one another's arms, it was easy to admit abuse, affairs,fear and defeat…would it always be so easy…it always had been…

A few more soft kisses then Jamie spoke again, "What happened the other day was not your fault, okay? It was not on you at all and I don't want you to feel badly or hold back. That connection is so important to me, I know it is for you too…I'm ready to reconnect when you feel it's time."

Eddie sighed and melted into Jamie's arms, "I do too I really do, I just couldn't hurt you Jamie. I couldn't hurt you."

"You didn't," Jamie soothed. "You didn't, I think if we take things slow, don't try rushing it, I'd like to try. Would you?"

Eddie smiled, "I'd like to try too, but maybe you can be a little patient with me. The idea of causing you…it interrupted my mojo a little bit…"

"How about we be patient with each other…" Jamie held Eddie's gaze and this time she initiated their contact with a kiss.

They slowly made love for an hour on the bareskin rug, their bodies warmed by the the fireplace and each other. With each and every caress, they whispered words of love and trust. Eddie's hands slid down Jamie's body, her small hand cradled his throbbing sex gently. She met his eyes and whispered, "Beautiful…" Eddie worked the hot flesh in her hand…up and down hard but also gentle. Jamie couldn't see straight, but he couldn't just let go that way.

Jamie moved quickly to lean over Eddie, he held her gaze, paused at her entrance and sighed as he sank into her. "Home," Jamie whispered when they were connected an Eddie's body was holding onto his in every way. "This feels like home."

Eddie leaned her arms up and pulled Jamie down to her so that his chest lay abover hers and their lips were inches from one another. "Welcome home, Jamie," Eddie replied and greeted him with a kiss.

. They lay together with a little perspiration on their bodies, Eddie shivered as the cool air brushed over her skin. "I need a shower but I can't move…' Eddie smiled.

"I have an idea about that, come on…" Jamie stood and led Eddie to the giant jacuzzi tub. "You said you wanted to take her for a spin…and it's big enough for two."

Eddie smiled, "Yes it is…and I have bubbles…"

"Whoa, no one said anything about girly bubbles," Jamie laughed. "I meant a nice hot bath and…"

Eddie stood on her tip toes and kissed Jamie to keep him quiet. "Bubbles," she replied gently. She'd back off if she felt like he felt forced but a light playful banter was their thing. "Half a cap…"

"Compromise, the mark of a good partnership," Jamie laughed and began to run and regulate the water.

Jamie got in first and positioned himself so Eddie could lie between his thighs. "I can't believe we only have three more days. They flew by the just flew…"

"I know," Jamie sighed. "I know but we have a plan we both can live with now. I'll file within the month, as soon as I make sure Max is stable and the custody papers are solid. When I'm final, you file…" Jamie took a deep breath. "Eddie, I know it's going to sound fast, but I want to say it out loud so it's real, you're my soulmate and I have to be married to my soulmate as soon as possible, please consider it I need to be complete. If all goes well, we can be married by this time next year. We can do it…texts, a few calls…I'm sure when the distance is getting to us, Kara and Danny can work something out. "I can't believe it, you know. I can't believe they were conspiring…"

"They both know love, Danny I think has this with Linda, I think his marriage is that special," Eddie replied. "I really do. Jamie, nothing would make me happier than to be Mrs. Reagan for real. When they thought we were married the other night, it felt like it was true. It felt like it should be for real, for us…it would be something special and true. I want to be your wife so much, and come here, to this room, and celebrate it. When we get home, we'll treat Danny and Linda to a week here…I'm grateful to him for his support of you.

"Me too, and this has made he and I so much closer. This is Joe's role really, what we've been going through together, that would have been Joe's job, and I'm so grateful to have Danny.

"Well, we need to buy Danny a steak dinner then too," Eddie replied when she felt Jamie's hands on her middle teasing her flesh. 'Oh Jamie…Oh…what…" His hand dipped down and found the little ball of nerves that he just loved to tease. The tiny nub was already excited and throbbing when his thumb ran over it. Eddie's head fell back she shut her eyes, making love in water was not something she was used to, in fact she never tried it and the idea of having it with Jamie was special indeed.

Jamie liked to drive Eddie to distraction with his hands or his tongue before he filled her. He loved how expressive she was, how explosive she was under his touch. Eddie was writhing and moaning, pressing herself into his hand. "Let go, baby, come on. Let go…"

"No…inside me…" Eddie begged but Jamie held back. "Let go, there's more where this came from…let go for me."

Jamie intensified his touch, "Oh yes, Oh…Eddie cried out. "Jamie, please…please…"

Jamie wouldn't stop, he kept up his massage until he got what he wanted. With the bubbles flowing around them, Eddie arched up and cried out. Jamie felt her essence on his hand and rubbed it back into her skin…

Eddie's body began to settle…Jamie kept up his intense touch. "I…" Was the only word Eddie could say.

"I know…" Jamie whispered. "Don't worry…I'm going to take care of everything."

As the water bubbled around their bodies, Jamie and Eddie once again connected. Each time, Jamie took the opportunity to go farther and deeper inside of Eddie's body and her body stretched and open more to his advances.

The water sloshed out of the tub, spilling onto the floor of the suite's large bathroom, but the two parties in the tub reaching for new heights of passion didn't even notice. This time, when Eddie begged to be filled, Jamie obliged her. When she cried out at the sheer passionate delight, Jamie smothered her cries with kisses. When Jamie called Eddie's name, experiencing his own release, she held him tight and rode the wave of ecstasy right along with him.

The water ran cold, Eddie let the tub drain…Jamie handed her out of the jacuzzi only to carry her to the bed, he wanted her again. It took very little doing this time for either of them to reach a fever pitch, their bodies were in tune with each other. Eddie cried out when Jamie's body erupted into her a final time. She dind't want to let go, even though they were both exhausted. Jamie cradled Eddie to his body, "It's all right, baby," he murmured as Eddie sipped some water before curling up against him. "It's all right."

Eddie smiled, they had taken it slow, she'd let him initiate and they had decided on their future. There would be a future for them, in a year or less.

Eddie slid her hand into Jamie's "You okay?"

"I'm perfect," he replied. "I'm more than just okay. Tonight was…and it's not just the physical part. I love that part, don't get me wrong but it's a different kind of connection, a different level."

"It is," Eddie replied.' You know, after the first time we were here, I couldn't with Tom for…months…then I found out I was pregnant and since I had that scare we couldn't and I didn't' miss it, I didn't miss him in that way. I did miss you, I will miss you."

Jamie kissed Eddie's head, "I'll miss you too, we'll do our best and we'll know that our futures together are coming, our lives together are coming on the other side. We'll meet back here when it's said and done, under this magnificent sky."

The words were beautiful, but both Eddie and Jamie knew that his divorce would be messy and difficult. It would get worse with Claudia before it got better. Eddie would do her best to be there for Jamie, even if that meant coming clean with Tom.

"What are you thinking?" Jamie asked as he felt Eddie shake.

"That we have three more days, let's not waste a moment Jamie. Not another moment."

This time Eddie initiated the contact between them, her kisses scorching Jamie's lips. Eddie felt Jamie moving to take control again, getting on top of her, pushing her thighs apart. Eddie let him, she knew how important that was right now. She offered soft words of encouragement to Jamie as he pushed into her, "Come home, Jamie. Come home."


	26. Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six

The next to last evening in Montana, Eddie and Jamie walked arm in arm to go out to dinner at an upscale Portuguese restaurant Eddie found on line. It required a jacket and tie, Jamie temporarily balked but the look on Eddie's face made his heart melt, that and a flash of the red dress she planned to wear cinched the deal, "You wait here, the lot is too muddy for you in those heels."

Jamie jogged off to get his rental car, dressed in a black suit with a dark purple shirt. He wore a black tie and slicked his hair back. Jamie applied some of Eddie's favorite aftershave. This was their last time to be out alone before going back to New York. Jamie' s mouth went dry when he saw Eddie step out of the bathroom earlier. That dress hugged her body even tighter than he ever die, it showed off all the right places, but let his imagination go wild. Jamie couldn't wait to eat and get it off of her. If he couldn't get it off, he'd cut it off. It warmed his heart though that she used his comb again, for every special occasion she'd promised when he gifted her with it. She never broke that promise, not once. Jamie left Eddie to wait. She was in a short and snuggly fit red dress, the hemline sitting just in the center of her thigh, black silk stockings covering her legs and highlighting their shape. The neckline plunged dangerously low and the silver heels that Jamie referred to were dangerously high. Eddie's delicate shoulders were covered with a white fox stole and her neck was adorned with a strand of matching white pearls. Eddie's hair was up, the way Jamie loved, held in place by the silver comb he bought her.

"Well honey," Eddie heard a tall, silver haired man with a drawl. "You look too pretty to be out here by yourself."

"Well, I'm not,' Eddie replied. "I'm waiting for someone. I'm with someone, he's just getting the car." If not with Jamie and married to boot, Eddie might have found this man, who introduced himself as Alex intriguing. He was tall, at least 6'2", what Eddie would describe as a "silver bear" Tom was a silver fox, but this man was broad and had a neatly trimmed beard. Still, there was just something about his pursuit…

"I see…well, you know what I have parked at the airport?" He moved closer to Eddie. "My very own plane…that we can use to fly to Paris for bagels tomorrow or to Italy for a Roman bath."

"My husband also has a plane and I've been, please, I'm not interested, I'm only looking forward to having dinner with my friend tonight. I'm flattered but please back away now."

The guy was just not getting it, he kept pressing himself close to Eddie, trying to get her to agree to go with him.

Jamie pulled the car up and saw Eddie's body language, she was turning her shoulder away from the man, putting her face down, she was being intimidated and he didn't like it. He didn't like that one bit. Jamie loosened his tie, ready to do battle with this guy if he didn't back off. As Jamie approached the man, he saw him reach out and touch Eddie's waist. She sharply turned and drew her leg back for defense. Jamie increased his speed to reach Eddie. "You keep your hands off her!" he thundered and drew back his hard Irish fist.

A fist of iron met a jaw of granite but Jamie's force was still enough to lay Alex out with one punch. "Don't you dare ever touch her again, don't you dare! You touch her again…"

Alex slowly sat up, holding his jaw. Jamie was in front of Eddie, nostrils flaring, Alex knew as did the other guests, this woman was protected by a wild Irish stallion. "Come on, Eddie, let's go…"

Jamie led Eddie away to his rental car. "Are you all right?" he asked her. "Did he try to touch you anyplace else?"

"No, he's just a rich creep that thinks he can have anything he wants," Eddie replied. "Or anyone…" Eddie slid her arms around Jamie's neck. "My hero…" Eddie kissed Jamie's lips softly.

For his part, Alex was mulling over the sexy woman's name…Eddie…it was unusual for a women, unusually familiar. Come to think of it, so was the woman's face and body style. He had a sudden interest in seeing the photograph of his architects wife again.

Jamie chuckled as he drove to the restaurant, "What's so funny?" Eddie asked. She enjoyed seeing Jamie's smile, she missed it so much.

"You," Jamie replied. "If I did that when we were partners, you would be fit to be tied. You would have eaten me for lunch and now that we're a couple you're all like "My hero".

Eddie smiled, "Well that was the job and this is different. This is a relationship, it's not the same thing."

Jamie parked the car and went to get Eddie out of the passenger side and pulled Eddie close. "I'll always try to be your hero…" He placed a kiss on her nose then started to walk to the restaurant with the prettiest girl on his arm.

The dinner was excellent. Eddie ordered a Portuguese specialty, steak with ham, a fried egg, and brown gravy. Jamie ordered seafood au gratin, they took turns sharing and feeding each other their meals. "Oh, that sounded weird but it tastes so good! I don't even really like red meat."

"I know but you like this…" Eddie smiled and leaned over to give him a kiss. They had chosen to sit on the same side of the table so they could hold and touch each other as much as they could. Jamie's hand slid down to Eddie's thigh under the table, the silk stockings were evocative, even though he would have preferred bare legs. As Jamie caressed Eddie's thigh, he felt her foot working its way up his leg. "I think we should get the check," Jamie laughed. "We can finish this later…"

Eddie's eyes sparkled, "Check please."

Jamie parked the car near the beautiful lake behind the chalet. It was chilly but the sky and the moon were so inviting. Jamie opened the sunroof to let in some air and sighted. "My first time…was in a muscle car like this. Where was yours?"

"My first time was in the back of a movie theater," Eddie replied "With Joey Burke…he was a wild kid, a runaway with the greatest looking hair…curly and all slick with gel it was great."

"Little rebellious of you no?" Jamie asked. "Come, let's get in back, we can cuddle."

Jamie put his arms around Eddie and snuggled with her in his arms. "I'm going to miss this, snuggling with you, having you to myself…"

'I know," Eddie replied. "But it won't be for long. You'll go home and tell Claudia about wanting a divorce after you get the ball rolling and I'll do my best honey…"

"I know you will," Jamie whispered. "But for now, let's not talk about Claudia, Tom, divorce…let's…"

Eddie rolled over in Jamie's arms, "Yes…let's."

The windows were fogged up in no time at all. As much as Jamie loved the feel of the silk stockings, he wanted them off so he could caress Eddie's soft skin. Jamie's hands slid under the dress, he smiled, they were stockings, not hose. Slowly, Jamie began to work the right stocking down Eddie's leg, then with the same care he worked the other one. Jamie's hands massaged Eddie's feet and legs…"Smooth as silk…"

Eddie reached for Jamie's cheek, "Ditto. Close shave there Reagan."

"Only the best for you," Jamie replied and touched his lips to Eddie's, quickly pulling her hair out of the knot.

"I love your hair…it's like a mane of gold," Jamie sighed obsessing over it as Eddie pulled his tie off and pulled at his shirt tail. Jamie did his best on the dress, it was so tight and fitted it took a while before he exposed Eddie's body…and only her body.

Jamie smiled, "Oh, yes…What a treat…"

"I'm almost too old to do that," Eddie laughed. "Almost…" She pressed her body to Jamie's and smiled feeling his sex poking at her. "You want me…I can feel how much."

"Yes…' Jamie replied. "I do want you…I love you so much…So much…I…" Their lips and hands moved in a frenzy. Their lovers cries echoed along the lake dying in the silent and still air. When they were spent, Jamie covered Eddie with his jacket. She was chilly and sleepy lying against him. Jamie felt Eddie start to shake, "Hey, hey what's wrong? What is it?"

Eddie shook her head, "I'm just so happy, Jamie. I'm so incredibly happy."

Jamie kissed the tears off her cheek and held her tight, "Me too, my love. Me too."

"Jamie, I need your help," Eddie called as she tried to secure her hair in the silver comb. "I can't get it."

"Ditto for me, I'm no good with a monkey suit," Jamie replied. "Here, hold your hair.." Jamie fixed the comb and snapped it in place. Eddie turned around and started to fix his tie. "There, now you look respectable…" Eddie stroked Jamie's cheek. "How are the ribs?"

"Better, much better, I think they are healed enough for a few turns around the floor. Yes, I hate dancing, but I love you and you love dancing…" Jamie pulled Eddie in and swayed a bit. "You sure you want to go to this thing? We can order in…"

"I'm sure we have to go," Eddie replied. "Where else can I wear a gown like this?" Eddie was in a gold ball gown that was fitted at the waist then flared out, gold slippers, and a diamond gold chain.

Jamie nodded, "We're on the same flight?"

"Yes, but that's tomorrow…We've got tonight."

When Kara saw Eddie and Jamie enter the ballrorom, she thought she was seeing Cinderella and her handsome prince stepping into the castle. She was beautiful, he was handsome. They were perfect. They sat together for the meal, chicken or beef. The three old friends had some laughs together, and Kara and Eddie danced to a few of the faster songs the band played. Jamie took a couple trips to the bathroom to keep his eyes on Eddie, during one he tipped the singer, "What a Wonderful World?"

"You got it…" The man smiled as Jamie got into place.

The moment the song began to play Jamie pulled Eddie into his arms. An officer from West Virginia, Luke, who had been speaking to Kara most of the week asked her to dance. "You look so pretty tonight," he told her. "May I have this dance?

Kara looked at Eddie for permission, she was married and not like Eddie and Jamie were. Eddie nodded, it was just a dance.

"That night…that one night," Jamie murmured. "After we danced and went up to your apartment, I prayed we made a baby, it would have to make it easier to try…I think that's why it was easier with…"

"Stop," Eddie said. "Just stop, baby please. Stop…" Eddie didn't want to hear regrets, not tonight.

The minute the cake was served, Eddie and Jamie excused themselves. They only had a few hours left together, and the needed to spent it alone.

They didn't enter the suite like teenagers, kissing and pawing at each other's clothes, they walked in hand in hand, like an established couple. This week had changed them both for the better. They had grown and changed as a couple…Jamie took Eddie and turned her in his arms. "And I think to myself…what a wonderful world…" He sang gently and swayed. "It won't be too long. I'll call a lawyer Monday and start the ball rolling."

"And we'll keep the vows we made to each other," Eddie whispered. "Just us…you won't touch her again and I won't have Tom touch me again, we are for each other only, from this day forward, for better or worse…"

"Till death do us part," Jamie whispered and nuzzled her close. "Soon, soon we'll say those words for real."

"Yes…" Eddie sighed. "Jamie?"

"What, sweetheart?" Jamie asked combing her hair back with his hands.

"Make love to me," Eddie whispered. "Make love to me slow."

"Your wish is my command," Jamie replied and slowly began the process. Eddie needed to be the focus tonight, she had focused on him for days, now it was her turn.

Jamie undid the zipper at the back of her dress and slowly peeled the garment off. It hit the floor with a soft whoosh. Eddie's undergarments came next, then her stockings, and finally the slippers. Jamie paid careful attention to each part of her body as he removed the clothing. When Jamie had Eddie naked he lifted Eddie and laid her on the bed. "Beautiful," he whispered. "So very beautiful."

Jamie took his time removing his clothing. Shirt, pants…socks…until he stood naked in front of Eddie. They looked at one another, both totally vulnerable. Jamie lowered himself over Eddie, their lips met and their arms wrapped around each other. This wasn't about sexual connection, not tonight, this was the union of souls Kara talked about at their lunch. Jamie's touch was feather light on Eddie's body. He teased her skin with his fingertips and massaged her nipples with the pad of this thumb. Eddie moaned and explored his body, tracing each nook and cranny, each crevice, committing his body to memory.

Jamie kept his kisses light and gentle, Eddie kept her touches arousing but sensual. Tonight was different, and they both knew it.

When it was time to join their bodies for the last time on this trip, Jamie sank into Eddie's warm center and sighed deeply. Eddie's tears ran down her face and onto Jamie's chest while his tears ran and mingled with hers on her soft cheeks. Eddie wiped at Jamie's tears, "Don't cry…don't it won't be like before…"

Jamie smiled, "I know…I know it won't…" Jamie dipped his head and let Eddie nuzzle him. Then Eddie lifted her hips to signal she wanted to continue, their act was not yet complete.

They only made love once. The rest of the night and into the morning they held each other close and whispered sweet nothings, making soft caresses and tender the sun came up, Eddie leaned on her arm and looked at Jamie's handsome face. "There's one more place I want to go before we go back…I want to make one more tradition for us."

Jamie smiled, he already knew what it was…


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

"You have whipped cream on your nose," Jamie laughed and proceeded to flick it off and eat it.

"You want to take a walk before we leave?" Eddied asked. "In those woods?"

Jamie smiled, they had three hours left and he wanted to spend every second with Eddie. He paid the bill then took Eddie by the hand for a long slow walk back to the hotel. Hand in hand they strolled along the winding path, the spring flowers perfuming the air. "This is the tree…stop here."

"You remember the exact tree?" Jamie laughed as Eddie steered him so he was leaning against the bark.

"Yes, I remember the exact tree," Eddie laughed. "And so do you, don't pretend you don't. We said our lost goodbye here. We held each other and I told you that we couldn't continue, we couldn't see each other. Thankfully, I realized that it was a huge mistake and I needed you, at least the once a year we were here, plus emergencies, and that was working for us, until this week. Now, I want to stand here, beneath the tree where we shared that goodbye kiss and take back the boundaries we set that day. We are going to make our lives one just as soon as we can."

Jamie loved Eddie's excitement, "It's going to be a rough go with Claudia, but I'm getting out. I'm not going to be her target anymore."

"Me too," Eddie replied. "I'm getting out too, I'm more than a trophy wife. I'm more than that and you are more than what Claudia thinks of you, so…let's promise now…to come up here once a year and whatever else happened in the year we forget it and just focus on us…when we need each other, we text or call and the one promises to get there asap. Deal?"

"It's a deal," Jamie replied. "I hope the next time we're here is on a honeymoon. We lost two years already."

Eddie nodded, "If not for April and Max, I'd say you're right, it was all a terrible waste. "We have our precious children and we're going to make a family with them."

Jamie and Eddie reached for each other at the same time and sealed the words with a kiss. Jamie slid down the tree and pulled Eddie onto his lap, kissing her deeply as the afternoon sun glinted off her hair. All too soon, the text alert went off on Eddie's phone. "It's Kara, I told her to remind us when it was time to head back. Thanks for taking both of us to the airport."

"After all Kara has done for us this trip, it's the least we could do. Danny is going to love the pocket knife too, though a double date is what he really wants."

"We can give him that in the very near future," Eddie said with confidence. "Monday is only two days away."

Eddie didn't know that Jamie had already called several attorneys, and had back to back appointments. He was very serious about ending his marriage, though back in New York events were being set in motion that might make that difficult for him and for her.

The morning Jamie was due home, Claudia stumbled out of bed after a midnight tour to stop the incessant knocking on her door. She pushed it open to find Danny Reagan, hat and coat in hand, on her door step. "Good morning…"

"What do you want?" Claudia rolled her eyes. "You know Jamie's not here, he's at that thing…"

"I know where he is and if he's smart he'll stay there…" Danny replied. "I'm going to say this once…you stop this shit with my brother. You stop throwing things at him, you stop hitting him, and you stop demanding things from him. You took advantage of him from day one. You took advantage of his good heart, of his good name, and of his nature in general. I, however, do not have that nature."

"You have never liked me, from the first day, and now that we have our son…"

"You have nothing," Danny snapped. "Jamie is going to leave you, I'm going to make sure of it. He's going to leave you and you won't see him or your son again. I'll make sure that you drop the Reagan name from everything you have it on, shield, name plate, bank accounts, all of it. You will not continue to abuse my brother's heart, mind, or body, do you understand?"

"I haven't done anything…" Claudia began to protest. "How dare you come into my house…your father is keeping my son from me, if anything Jamie is the abuser…"

"Liar!" Danny accused vehemently. "I'm going to try my damnedest to get my brother to divorce you but if I fail I'll see to it that you are a model wife. If you so much as touch his collar to pick off a piece of lint, I'll have you in jail and we'll let all the inmates know you're a cop and a Reagan. That name doesn't go over so well in the pokey."

Danny's tone was so flat and so emotionless it scared Claudia, "I don't want a divorce. I won't give him one."

"Divorce or no, you'll give him his freedom," Danny replied. "He's too much of a gentleman to call you out on what you do to him and to other people, but I'm not. You will regret the day you became a Reagan. You'll regret it a thousand times over. The game is done, you lose."

Danny was nearly out of the apartment when he felt the power of Claudia's fury. With all her might she reached back and swung her fist at Danny's jaw making full contact. "I put up with that little sniveling piece of shit for nearly two years to get where I'm going and I won't let you ruin it. I can do a lot of damage, you think your brother has it bad now…"

Danny recovered quickly from that blow and grabbed Claudia's arms, "You keep it up you won't ever see your son again, your only link to being anything besides gutter trash will be gone. I'm not my brother, I don't care about reputation, I don't care about any of it…Keep your hands to yourself…. I'm warning you, you'll have less than you have ever had if you don't."

With that Danny headed off to work, not realizing the events he'd just set in motion.

"Always a pleasure, Alexander," Tom smiled at the real estate baron and longtime friend. "I hope you want me to design another gorgeous skyscraper for you."

"I don't," Alex replied. "I'm interested in developing this land here and making a housing tract. Twenty-five small houses on standard lots and I need someone who can build a reasonably respectable structure without stealing too much, I know you know people all over this area that could probably do that."

"You've come to the right man," Tom replied and sat down at his desk. Alex's eyes fell on Eddie's photograph on the desk. "My, my you do have a very young and beautiful wife, though I must say I prefer her hair up."

Tom arched his eyebrow in confusion. "I recently had some business to conduct near Billings and I took a few days at a chalet up there after. Your wife was there."

"Oh, yes, Eddie had her police conference up there, she got an award for the rescue of those three little girls a few months back. Did you introduce yourself?" Tom asked.

"No, well, yes I did but at first I thought she was just a pretty, young thing, you know, short red dress, plunging neck, silk stockings, the works…and I made a move, I won't lie." Alex admitted.

"You made a move? On my wife?" Tom felt put out by that of course, even though he had Sue, Eddie was his wife.

"I didn't know she was your wife or anyone's wife when I first saw her, she rebuked me pretty good too," Alex replied. "I am sorry, of course, that it was your wife, but I was even more sorry when her "friend" came back with the car." Alex absentmindedly rubbed his jaw. "He knocked me on my rear with one punch. I think he's one of the New York Reagans."

"That was Jamie, he was Eddie's partner back when she was NYPD, he probably didn't like you putting hands on a married woman," Tom replied.

"That's the problem, Thomas, she was not dressed like a married woman and when he led her away, he was treating her like she was his married woman," Alex explained "He was not a man defending his partner, he was a man defending her territory and she was very grateful. I'm sorry to be telling you this, but you should know, she's sneaking around and not just for kicks."

Tom had his suspicions since the day Jamie attacked him at the precinct when Eddie was missing but he didn't want to believe it. Still, it wasn't uncommon in their circles, as long as his needs were met and Eddie performed her functions, all was well.

"I appreciate you letting me know," Tom replied. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"

Two hours later, Eddie had sent a text her flight was leaving, and Tom and Alex had concluded their business for the day. Tom sat back and buzzed for Sue to come into his inner office. He gave her a knowing smile and stood up to draw her close. They had a week of playing house as well, Sue even caring for April's needs in Eddie's absence. It was time for them to let go of that dream again, at least for now.

Kara graciously gave up her seat on the plane for Jamie and took his seat farther back. They immediately lifted the arm rest and cuddled up to each other, Eddie's head resting on Jamie's shoulder. Kara was glad they had chosen each other, their lives would certainly go much smoother that way.

"Plane food is gross, Reagan," Eddie teased. "But you still have to get it, it's part of the experience of flight!"

Jamie had to laugh at Eddie's reasoning, it was always a little bit crazy with a lot of true. "Okay, get me those pretzel and hummus things and you order what you want."

Eddie got their food and some wine to share, they each sat together in a companionable silence, occasionally stealing hugs or kisses, special moments. About halfway through the flight, Jamie stood up to use the bathroom, he looked down t Eddie, "Don't you have to go? On the way here, you had to each time I got up?"

Eddie smiled, Jamie's smile was mischievous and Eddie, totally adept at reading him, got his meaning.

Jamie went in first, then Eddie slid in after. She made double sure the lock was in place before turning and falling into Jamie's waiting arms. "This is a first for me at 35 years old," he laughed.

"Me too, but not 35…" Eddie laughed. "Good thing I'm not wearing any underwear again…I know how much you liked that."

Jamie lifted Eddie so she was seated on the sink then worked his hands up under her shirt to cup her free roaming breasts. The heat of Jamie's hands on the delicate flesh nearly did Eddie in then and there. She called out his name only to have her words smothered by his kiss. "Ssh," he scolded lightly. "We'll get caught…"

They both giggled, Eddie more as Jamie tickled her sides with his hands. Eddie's own arms reached for Jamie's belt, "Okay?" she asked not wanting to push.

"More than," he replied, his pants already tight with intense desire.

Eddie worked the jeans down Jamie's slim hips and revealed his already excited member. Eddie reached out to touch him, making Jamie shudder with the impulse. "So hot and ready…" Eddie moaned loving the feel of his hard shaft in her hands.

"Now I'm a pizza?" Jamie chuckled ripping her shirt off so he could tease her breasts…

Eddie hand kept working Jamie's hard flesh while he massaged and suckled her breasts. Eddie felt her sex tightened and throb at the thought of Jamie's body inside of hers. She began to wriggle and rub herself inside her jeans, heightening Jamie's arousal as she massaged him. "If you don't stop…gonna in your hand…" He gasped.

"Bad thing?" Eddie replied and increased the tempo. Jamie moved swiftly to make her stop, "Yes, need to be…in you…"

Eddie moaned and slowly released him, "Want you in me..."

Eddie's jeaned were down to her ankles in a flash. Jamie lifted her and sat her moist dripping opening on his skin. Eddie lifted her hips over and over again nearly impaling herself on him, driving Jamie and herself wild with need.

Eddie's climax continued after Jamie erupted into her body, filling her with his lifeforce. She cried out into his kiss as her body shuddered over and over again, until she was spent and limp in Jamie's arms.

With tender care, Jamie cleaned Eddie then helped her dress while her body settled. When the pair finally emerged, there was laughter and a few snickers. Eddie's face turned bright red. An older woman, seated with her husband, who was snoring, took pity on her, "Don't worry honey, if he were my man, I'd have done it too."

Eddie buried her face, and Jamie kissed her head.. Eddie started to doze when they were back in their seats, in the space between sleep and awake she heard Jamie whisper, "Thanks for joining the "mile high club"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

Danny and Kara's husband Matt, were waiting for the group when they got off the flight. Kara had decided while she was in Montana to give her marriage a stronger push before making a determination she was married to a lifemate like Jamie and Eddie. She ran to his arms and was swept up in them. No one was expecting to see Tom at the airport, but there he was with April. Danny was holding Max in his own arms.

Jamie and Eddie took a deep breath, there would be no airport goodbye forthcoming now. They shared a private look, a show of support then headed to greet their children.

Eddie held April close to her and kissed the little girl's face over and over. "Oh Mommy missed you, I missed you…"

"Miss me?" Tom asked and leaned down for kiss. Eddie tried to turn her head, but Tom caught her jaw and began to turn her head to his lips. "I missed you."

Eddie felt her skin prickle as Tom kissed her passionately in front of Jamie. She opened her eyes and looked over at Jamie. It was clear from the look on his face that he did understand, he just didn't like it, not one bit.

When Eddie and Tom parted, Tom gauged the other man's reaction, it was cool and cordial, not unlike his wife's kiss.

Kara watched Jamie's eyes, those were his most expressive. They were flashing with tremendous anger even while his face was stock still and emotionless. Tom was staking his claim on her…and Jamie didn't like it. Kara shot him a sympathetic look, she had no idea how hard this had to be for him watching Eddie's loving husband welcome her home.

Eddie watched as Jamie airplaned Max around his head making the boy laugh. Max was looking at Eddie snuggling April, he cooed and kicked his legs at the other baby. "That's a baby..yeah, that's Ms. Eddie's baby. Say hi to her…"

Max patted April's blanket. "Jamie he's adorable…can we switch for a minute?"

Jamie nodded and handed Max back to Danny so he could take little April in his arms. The girl was still very small and light but she was showing off so many of Eddie's features now. Max was transferred to Eddie's arms and she hugged the boy. "You are a handsome boy aren't you? Yes…you are…"

Tom watched the exchange, Max settled into Eddie like she was his own mother. The boy didn't look much like Jamie, but the way he reacted he knew Daddy. "Edit, the car is waiting and it's late for April to be out."

Eddie nodded, "You be a good boy Max. Mind your Daddy…"

Jamie gave April's head a soft brush before they switched the kids back. "I'll talk to you soon," Eddie told Jamie leaving it open ended so she could text him later. Danny's mind was racing on a way to get them alone again but nothing he came up with seemed to work. Tom's arrival had thwarted a good plan.

"So, you look so much better, Kid," Danny told Jamie. "Where are we going from her?"

"To Dad's," Jamie replied. "I have to see Claudia tomorrow but for tonight, to Dad's…It's going to be over between us, Danny. I'm going to end my marriage to Claudia."

"Well it's about time Kid,' Danny replied. "If you didn't make that choice I was thinking of getting guys in the white coats to come get you. I'm proud of you, Kid. What about Eddie and Daddy Warbucks, he was pretty hands on there."

"I know…but we worked it out. Monday I'm meeting with some attorneys to get ready to file, then when I'm final, Eddie is going to file. She has to be a little more careful because Tom is stable, so April is vulnerable."

"It's a mess, you two were really stupid," Danny replied. "But I'm here, Im' alwsys here to help you."

"I know you are…" Jamie smiled as he claimed his bag. "Oh that reminds me," Jamie reached into his bag and took out the pocket knife he and Eddie got for Danny. "Eddie and I thank you so much for all you've done to help us. This is from us."

Danny took the knife, engraved with the words, "Best Brother…" It had everything, the knife, screwdriver, scissors, top of the line. "You mean that? Thought that was Joe?"

Danny's jaw worked with emotion. "It was Joe, we've become brothers the last few years Danny, one bit of good out of the trash heap I made of my life. That and this guy here…" Jamie tickled his son's belly.

Danny had to dip his head to avoid showing Jamie just how much emotion he felt at those words. "Yeah, and it's pretty late for him. Pop's got him on a pretty good schedule, let's go home hmm?"

"What do you say, buddy? Home?" Max cooed and smiled showing off his four little teeth. Jamie laughed, "Good idea."

Jamie was welcomed to his family home with open arms, but for Eddie's part, Tom also had his arms open. Eddie held little April like shield in her arms. "Maybe it was too soon for you to go?"

"I don't know, it was good to have some time with Kara and to see Jamie," Eddie replied. "He's going through a hard time and we had a chance to talk a lot about that. I offered him my help." There that would cover it.

"You two are very close," Tom replied. "It's good you are renewing your friendship."

Eddie nodded, "Oh my sweetie pie…" April was fussing so Eddie stood up and walked her in her arms. "Oh…I love you. Mommy loves you, it's okay now."

"Sue would put her on the dryer when she did that," Tom replied. 'It seemed to help."

Eddie felt a stab of anger at hearing that Tom had Sue tending to her baby. "You could have had some time with her Tom, you didn't have to bring Sue in."

"Well, Sue is a woman, she's better with a tiny baby than I am," Tom replied. "You like Sue."

"Yes, I do but…" Eddie shook her head. "It's okay, I'm going to try to put her down then unpack…"

"I'll see you in the bedroom then," Tom replied. "I did miss you so much, so did April. Perhaps we have to rethink these trips to Montana…"

Eddie sighed, she knew Tom was going to press her. Eddie looked down at April, "Cry baby girl…please cry…"

April loudly obliged.

"There you go little guy," Jamie whispered and settled Max in his bed. "Daddy missed you so much. I'm really sorry about having to divorce your Mommy, buddy. It's not a happy place for you or for Daddy…when you are older you'll understand, Daddy has to put you first Maxy." Jamie rubbed the baby's belly softly. "That means you need to live in a happy and healthy house and the house with Mommy…it's just not that. So Daddy's going to fix it."

Max cooed and reached for Jamie's hand. "You understand don't you?"

"Yes, I think he does," Frank smiled. "And so do I. I'm proud of you Jamie. You are doing what is best for your son and in your case that is getting a divorce and moving back home."

"I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, let her know that I'm not coming home, that I'm done..." Jamie sighed. "I can't keep doing this, it's not fair to Max, to me, or even to Claudia, I don't know if she'd be this vial if she was happy."

"Good for you, you know that you and Max can stay here with me and Pop as long as you like," Frank reminded Jamie. "This will always be your home."

"I know that Dad, thanks for taking care of him," Jamie replied. "Did she see him at all?"

"Yes," Frank replied. "She came three times to see him but didn't do much with him. She over all just talked with me about the trouble she's having at the 4-6."

Jamie sighed, "Always a damn angle with her, I'm sorry Dad."

"Stop apologizing," Frank said firmly. "The only person you can control is you."

Jamie agreed, "I'll be down soon, I want to stay with him a little more and get him settled. I missed him so much."

"He missed you too," Frank replied. "He looked for you after your Facetime chats, he didn't look for Claudia too much."

"She didn't bond with him, he deserves more and I'm going to give him more."

With another big smile, Frank headed down to the kitchen. "So is it true?" Henry pressed. "Is Jamie getting a divorce?"

"Yes," Frank replied. 'He is getting a divorce and from the way he's speaking he wants custody of Max. That will be a hard rode for him with someone like Claudia but he's got a good group of folks behind him. I think even his old partner might be in on that one now."

"I only met her once or twice," Henry said pouring two cups of milk. "But that girl was pure sunshine, full of spunk. What's she doing now?"

"She's married to Tom Manning, the architect that donated the money and design for the new training center. Jamie and Eddie met up in Montana. She's good for Jamie, he is so much better, I was really worried when he left here Pop.

"So was I, Francis," Henry admitted. "So was I."

The next morning, Jamie contemplated how exactly to speak to Claudia about the divorce. He knew she would fly off the handle, but Jamie still felt it was right to handle this issue alone.

"You be a good boy Max," Jamie whispered. "Daddy will be back and we'll go swing. Do you want to swing? Go weeee…."

Max laughed, a happier baby by all accounts since Jamie took him from the apartment. He smiled, he laughed, he played…even at 10 months he'd been affected by his moher and father's poor relationship.

"He'll like that, we'll take a lunch and go together,' Henry replied. "Good luck, Jamie."

Jamie drove toward his apartment, having no sentiment about what he was going to do. He'd made a promise to Eddie and this was right for his son.

Jamie let himself in the house, "Claudia?!" he called out. "Are you home?"

Claudia came out of the bedroom, in just a silk robe. "Welcome home…" she smiled and advanced on Jamie almost immediately. "Claudia, sit, we need to have a talk, okay?"

"Talk? If you only wanted to talk, you'd bring Max with you. Why did you take our son?" Claudia was calm so far, that was a good sign.

"I took him because…the last time I was here you beat me," Jamie replied. "And this is not okay for a man, a woman, and especially a child. Max is a different kid after just a week away from this environment, it's not a health family for him and I'm not going to let it continue. Tomorrow, I'm filing for a divorce, I want out. This was a mistake for us both. I'll treat you fair," Jamie replied.

Claudia stood up, "You will not divorce me! You don't have the balls to do that! You worthless piece of…"

Claudia grabbed a heavy silver candlestick and struck Jamie across the ribs. He felt one of them crack and poke into his skin! It stung and he protectively cradled his middle. Jamie tried to stand but he pain was crippling.

Jamie's knees buckled, he sank to the ground looking to see what he could use to defend himself. As Jamie tried to stand, Claudia raised a strong fist and caught him across the face. Jamie's eye felt like it was going to explode, then his head as the blows continued. Jamie managed a few blows….but Claudia's rage gave her a strength even the trained cop in his could not combat.

 **A/N: Please join us on Monday for a bonus chapter! Thanks for reading.**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

"Waah…Waah…" Max fussed as he and Henry waited for Jamie to come back home. Henry picked the baby up out of his playpen, "I know buddy…You want to go out with Daddy. He should be back very soon, yes…"

Henry cuddled the tiny boy, he had the biggest brown eyes Henry ever saw, and curly nearly black hair. He didn't look like a Reagan that was for sure, he was the image of his mother. Still, with his endearing smile and gentle little laugh, Henry loved him, they all did.

Henry tried his best to keep Max busy. They played peek-a-boo, they played tickle monster, but Max kept looking for Jamie. It wasn't like him to be gone so long without calling or texting at least that he'd be late. A little after noon, three and half hours after Jamie left, Henry called his precinct.

"Twelfth precinct, Sergeant Renzulli."

"Tony, it's Henry Reagan," the older man greeted. "Did Jamie come by the 12th today for anything? To complete any paperwork or anything?"

"No, I haven't heard from him," Renzulli replied. "He wasn't supposed to come back until tomorrow."

Henry's heart dropped, they all knew Claudia was unstable, and Frank wanted to go with Jamie but Jamie insisted on doing it himself. Henry placed a call to Frank, and he reached out to Danny. As soon as Danny heard Jamie was with Claudia it made his stomach turn. "I'll go by the apartment, Pop. Don't worry…"

Danny turned to Baez, "We need to take a side trip, I have to check on my kid brother. He went to tell his wife that he wanted a divorce and that woman is nuts…"

"Let's go then," Baez replied and they headed to Jamie and Claudia's apartment.

Danny knocked twice but didn't' get an answer. "You have a key?" Baez asked as Danny fished in his pockets.

"Yep, it's a brother thing," Danny replied and inserted the object undoing the lock.

Danny's stomach turned when he saw his brother lying so still, the apartment completely turned upside down. "Jamie!" Danny dropped to his knees. "Jamie, wake up, Kid come on. Wake up."

"Central, 5-4 Detective requesting a bus forthwith at…"

Baez giving the details faded to black for Danny as Jamie gave a wet cough producing blood from his lips. "Come on, Kid, I'm here. I'm here. Hang on, Jamie. I'm here."

Jamie moaned, trying to pen his eyes. One was swollen shut, the other open only to a slit. "Ooooh…"

"There we go, wake up, what happened? Huh?" Jamie fell unconscious again. "Damn it, how long on the bus?"

"Just a few minutes, crime scene is coming too, and they are…" Jamie moaned again and whispered something to Danny.

"Eddie…Ed…" he slurred the shut his eyes.

"I'll get her little brother," Danny promised. "I'll get her…" Danny sighed in relief as he heard the sirens in the distance.

"Oh, what a big burpee!" Eddie cooed to April as she patted the baby's tiny back. "Big girl, burping so much for Mommy. Did you have a good time playing with Daddy while Mommy was away?"

April watched her mother speaking and watched her eyes. Eddie loved her baby's bright blue eyes. "Feeling better this morning, Ms. Edit?" Anita asked. "Mr. Tom, he told me not to disturb you, that you were not well last night from your long trip."

"I am feeling a little better, yes," Eddie smiled, 'Thank you, Anita. Some tea and toast please would be nice."

Anita went to make Eddie's tea while Eddie played and got reacquainted with her daughter. During a game of pat the baby, Eddie's cell phone rang. It was unsettling when she saw it was Danny's cell. "Hello…"

"Eddie, it's Danny. Somethings happened to Jamie, he's rushed to Lutheran hospital and he's asking for you."

"The hospital…why what happened?" Eddie asked beginning to pack April up as she spoke to Danny.

"Looks like a break-in but he's in pretty bad shape, come as soon as you can okay?" Danny hung up and Eddie headed out with April, not even telling Anita where she as going. Of course, the traffic was terrible, but Eddie did her best to get to Jamie as fast as she could.

Danny was waiting at the entrance near the parking lot when Eddie arrived, "How bad is he?"

"He's bad, he's got broken ribs, broken arm, maybe a concussion, he's bad…all he says is your name." Danny heard the baby coo and looked down. "I'll get Linda to take her if you need to stay. How long can you sit? He's unconscious."

"As long as he needs me," Eddie replied. "As long as he needs me."

Eddie had seen a lot of beatings in her time but seeing her Jamie like this. His left arm was in a cast to the elbow, a pillow was positioned near his right rib cage…and his right eye was so swollen that there was no way it would open. Carefully, Eddie reached out and took Jamie's uninjured hand into her own. "I'm here, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "I came as soon as I could come…I know you hurt very bad, but please wake up. Please open your eyes."

Jamie moaned at the soft sound of Eddie's voice and turned his head to the side. "Eddie…"

"I'm here," she sighed. "Jamie what happened…"

Jamie was not ready to talk. Eddie was wearing a bright blue blouse and black slacks, she was supposed to be at a lunch that afternoon, but Jamie took precedence over everything. She looked pretty, even Danny thought so, but all Jamie could see was the cameo pin he gave her in Montana pinned above Eddie's heart. Weakly, Jamie lifted his good hand, but cried out in pain when his ribs protested.

"Yes," Eddie replied. "I'm wearing your pin, over my heart where I promised I would. I'm here with you now, you sleep and get better. I'm not…" Jamie's hand clamped down on Eddie's holding her in place. "I'm not going anywhere."

Jamie sighed and fell back to sleep. Eddie looked up at Danny, "What happened to him?"

"It looks like a robbery, some valuables were missing, but my gut says it's not that. He told Claudia he wanted a divorce this morning. I think, I hope not but I think…she's not answering her cell right now,' Danny sighed.

Eddie turned back to Jamie, "He'll tell us…he will." Eddie carefully placed a soft compress on Jamie's eyes. "I'll find out…can you see to April for me. I need to take care of…I'm sorry Danny."

"You're the best medicine he could have, the absolute best."

The other members of the Reagan family began to arrive, Henry remained home with Max, they didn't want to expose the little boy to seeing his Daddy like he was. Danny kept his eye on April while Eddie nursed Jamie's wounds. "I'm concerned about his eye…there's puss coming out of it…and those ribs, he's going to end up with a collapsed lung one day from this crap."

Danny nodded, "You don't think this was a robbery, do you?"

"No," Eddie replied. "No, I don't and neither do you, at least not exclusively. He might have been there if there was a break-in but…He didn't defend himself, if it was a robbery why didn't he defend himself?"

"Hit too hard too fast?" Danny speculated.

Before they could continue, Jamie stirred again, the pain becoming almost too much. He tried to sit and ended up crying out. "Ssh, Ssh…" Eddie cooed. "Lie back, stay still. Stay still, take a long shallow breath okay?"

Jamie sighed again, "Eddie, what are you…Danny, what happened?"

Danny moved to Jamie's bed, putting April's carrier down on the floor. "We're hoping you can tell us. Did you get a chance to talk to Claudia?"

Jamie thought back to the events of that morning, "I went to see her, to tell her I wanted…She got so mad…Max! Danny, where is Max? Eddie…"

"Ssh," Eddie soothed. "Ssh, Max is with your grandpa, he's in good hands. Ssh…Did she do this? Did Claudia do this?" Eddie's voice was soft and even, her touch gentle and steady.

"I…she kicked me…threw…she was just so mad…" Jamie faded again, just in time for Eddie's Serbian temper to flare. She let go of Jamie's hand and started for the door. "I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her myself! How…she beat him, she…beat him again and he's…We don't even know if he's going to be okay, we don't know!" Eddie was to the door before Danny caught her.

"Eddie, I know you are angry, I'm angry too, that's my little brother, but Jamie needs you here with him, and Max needs Jamie. We must be careful. We have to be,' Danny sighed. "I'll handle Claudia, focus on Jamie, please. He needs that, he needs you."

Eddie took a deep breath, her eyes dripping with tears. "She…He's the gentlest soul I know, he doesn't deserve this Danny, he doesn't."

"I know," Danny replied. 'I know. Take care of him as long as possible, I'll deal with the rest of it. Keep it between us until we know how Jamie wants to go ahead. For now, it's a robbery outside this room."

Eddie nodded and wiped her tears, she'd keep her tongue now for Jamie, but God help Claudia if she ever got the chance.

Danny never got the chance to confront Claudia, her CO finally reached her and she headed over to the hospital to give the performance of her life. "I want to see my husband, he's Jamie Reagan, the Commissioner's son. He was beaten in a robbery and I want to see him please."

Danny stepped out of Jamie's room, "He doesn't want to see you Claudia, he's in a lot of pain. He wants to rest."

"I'm his wife," Claudia replied quickly. "I want to see him, he's hurt…"

"You're right he is," Danny replied. "What did I tell you I was going to do if you laid a hand on my brother again? I'm going to smear your name all over this city, if I don't kill you myself, which I might."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I was working, pull my sheet," Claudia challenged.

"I'll do that, Jamie might remember the attack wrong, but he's not remembering that he asked you for divorce wrong, you're no longer his wife in my book. Go home."

"I want my son, you can't keep my son from me!" Claudia exploded. "I'm getting my son."

Claudia left in haste to retrieve Max, Danny sighed, there was nothing he could do about that legally. For now, he had to protect his brother, Claudia would never harm Max, that he knew in his heart.

"Sip a little water," Eddie encouraged as she stroked Jamie's leg through the sheets. "You know what I was thinking about the other day?"

"What?" Jamie asked quietly, he had slipped back into his depression again.

"That Alex guy in Montana…" Eddie replied. "You just took him down with one punch, he was all over me and touching my arm and…there you were. My hero…"

Jamie looked at his body, about to speak but Eddie was still talking. "I felt so safe with you, Jamie. I always feel so safe when we are together. I think that's why I'd take risks as a cop, I knew that you would protect me, I knew that you would always be there for me…"

"I can't be there for you like this…" Jamie sighed. "I can't be there for anyone…"

"Stop that…Jamie, we are going to have a future. We are going to make a new family I promise you that," Eddie replied. "You took the first step and I'm so sorry you hurt. Do you want to still be with me? Do you want to make our dream come true?"

Eddie gently petted the clear side of Jamie's face, "I want to…I do…" Eddie assured him. "I want to sleep in your arms and feel safe every night. I only feel safe when we snuggle up close and tight."

"You have everything with Tom, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "Even this precious sweetie…What do you want with me?"

Eddie met Jamie's eyes and held his hand to her heart, "To be home, Jamie. I want to be home. You're my home…"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Claudia pulled her car up to the front door of the Reagan house in Bay Ridge. She knocked on the door then waited for Henry to open it. "I'm here for my son." Claudia didn't mince words. "Where's my baby boy?"

"He's taking a nap, but Jamie wanted him to stay here," Henry replied. "You can visiti him…"

"He's my son, and he needs to come home with me," Claudia replied. "You can't keep him from me, I'll bring him back to visit tomorrow, Jamie and I have to work out our problems and we need to be a family to do it."

"Jamie said he wants to work out your problems?" Henry asked. "What problems were those?"

"Disagreements mostly, I'm not a mother enough to Max and I'm too aggressive but we can work all that out. Come on, Maxy, say bye bye to Pop."

The baby was barely out the door before he started to cry, Henry took a breath and called Frank, he was worried about Jamie and now about Max as well.

Frank stepped into the hospital room containing his son and his son's former partner. Eddie was bathing Jamie's wounded eye again, gently cleaning the matter away. "He's still sleeping, Sir. He's been really tired and I'm going to have to go home soon. Tom will be home and I have to bring April…"

"I know he appreciates you're being here," Frank smiled. "So do we. I just got a call from my father…Claudia picked Max up and brought him home. I wanted to tell Jamie…"

Eddie sighed, "I will tell Jamie, and I think that it will upset him and he really can't…I'm sorry I'm overstepping."

"No, no…my son was in a very bad place before your trip to Montana, the other night I had him back and I think, when he heals, I'll have him back even more," Frank replied. "So whatever it is you do for him, do it with my blessing and my help if you need it."

Eddie smiled, and looked at Frank's face, "I appreciate that, Sir. I do my best for him…I always did."

"You do," Jamie replied smiling at Frank. "Hey Dad…how's my boy?"

Eddie looked at Frank then back at Jamie, "Jamie, your Dad was just telling me that Claudia picked Max up and took him to your home."

Jamie's eye grew wide, "But…"

"I know, son," Frank soothed. "Danny is going to speak to Claudia now and we'll put them up until we are sure the house is safe, don't you worry."

Jamie and Eddie communicated with their eyes, he didn't want his father to know, she couldn't betray him, not like that. "Danny's on it, I'm sure that's a relief. Jamie, I need to take April home to Tom, but I'm going to come back and help you get settled for bed, I'll only be a few hours all right?"

Jamie nodded, "Thanks, Eddie…" Jamie gently drew a heart onto Eddie's hand, their secret code. She smiled and nodded. "Rest while I'm gone." With a gentle kiss to Jamie's forehead, Eddie left with baby April in her arms.

"Eddie will be home any minute," Tom said as he pushed Sue off his lap. "She is very accommodating most of the time but I think she'd flip if she saw you here."

"You have no idea where she went?" Sue asked gathering her things to go home.

"No, she didn't leave a note or anything but I know that April only had a few bottles and she needs to be fed," Tom replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sue was only gone five minutes before Eddie came home with a crying April. "I know you're a hungry bunny, Mommy's going to fix it right away."

"Eddie, I was worried," Tom said as she stepped out of the kitchen. "Oh, April, come to Daddy…" April was Tom's pride and joy, the heir to his fortune and to his business, he hoped she'd show drawing talent."

"I'm sorry, I got a call today from Danny Reagan, you met him and his brother when I was working on the case," Eddie replied as she fixed April's bottle. "Jamie was attacked in his apartment today, hurt really bad."

"Oh," Tom raised an eyebrow and he nuzzled April quieting her cries with his soft touches. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah, but he was in so much pain and we were really good friends before I transferred so I went to see him and stayed because he was…" Eddie handed Tom April's bottle so he could feed her.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Tom replied. "I know how that is, seeing someone you care for suffering."

"I'm going to go back just for a little bit and make sure he's settled, but I had to get April down and wanted to check in with you."

Tom thought quickly, between this and the information from Alex, he could speak up, but did he want to? "All right, make sure he knows anything he needs from us…"

Tom was a sweet man, a good man, he cared about people, but Eddie just didn't love him. Not like she should at any rate. She needed to assure Jamie the plan was still on.

With April eating and dozing in Tom's arms, Eddie gave her husband a kiss and headed back to the hospital to sit with Jamie.

When Eddie returned into the room, the nurse was trying, in vain to clean Jamie's injuries. He was upset, and somewhat indignant about being touched. "I have to clean your eye," the nurse replied.

"I'll clean it," Eddie said softly. "Thanks so much he's been through a lot. It takes a friend." Eddie took the cloth and began to clean Jamie's eye again. "I took April home, I talked to Tom and he said anything you need. I know you need me and I'm here. Lie back…and remember Montana."

Jamie heard Eddie as she filled the basin with warm water. With the one eye Jamie could open he peered out at her, "What are you doing?"

"Giving you a bath," Eddie replied. "You don't want the nurses doing it and you really enjoyed it when I took care of you in Montana. I hate that I have to take care of you, but I will."

Eddie gently cleaned Jamie's face, wiping off more dried blood and stickiness. Jamie hadn't permitted much cleaning, he was hurting too badly, but Eddie's touch was a balm to his soul it always was.

When Eddie finished Jamie's face, she gently moed the hospital gown off to the waist. "Oh, Jamie…" Eddei gasped seeing horrible bruising and mottling on Jamie's chest. "Tell me if it hurts too badly."

Eddie wet the rag again and washed Jamie's neck and chest pausing to run a trail of soft gentle kisses down his chest to the broken ribs. "If I could love this away…" She laid the warm rag on the bruises for a few minutes. "How does that feel?"

Jamie sighed, "I think you missed a calling, Nurse Eddie," Jamie replied. "That feels so good…until I breathe."

Eddie made a small sad face then moved the rag and put the pillow back. "This really will help you. I want you to be out of pain."

Eddie dipped the rag again and cleaned the other side of Jamie's chest. "Does your arm hurt?"

"A dull ache,' Jamie replied. "The eye hurts worst." Eddie slowly and gently moved up so she could touch her lips to his eye. The kiss was feather light and almost reduced Jamie to tears, the tenderness verses the horrific violence, his future verses his worst mistake.

Eddie resumed her bathing duty, wetting the rag in warm water then moving to Jamie's waist. Eddie cleaned dirt and grime off his belly button and dipped lover to his manhood. "Well, I see that you miss me too." Eddie gently dipped the washcloth and rubbed Jamie softly. "I already miss you and it's only been a few days. We are going to be together, I know now it seems so far away. Maybe you changed your mind, if you're afraid now…"

"No!" Jamie said firmly. "No I didn't change my mind, I don't want to change my mind. There's nothing left to redeem that marriage, nothing! Only Max, he's the only thing."

"Good," Eddie replied. "Very good…I think your year is realistic then. We can honeymoon in Montana…"

"Are you sure you want to leave Tom?" Jamie asked. "Really sure? I want your happiness too."

"I'm sure, I'll always care for him, he's April's daddy, but love…I love Tom, as a friend and a father to my baby, I'm not in love and I deserve to be that, you deserve to be that too." Eddie leaned down to kiss Jamie's lips as she continued her bath. Eddie felt Jamie's body give into her as she worked.

By the time Eddie had rinsed the rag and moved down his body, Jamie very tired, Eddie continued to bath him from his hips to his feet. She worked especially on the foot where his arch was beginning to fall, soothing any area she thought might give him pain. When Eddie was finished, she tucked the covers around Jamie and tipped the bed back a bit. "Try to sleep…I'll stay until you go down."

Jamie smiled and winced when it reached his eye. "Will you be able to come tomorrow?"

"Yes," Eddie murmured. "I'll come every day until you are well. I explained it. Just remember, soon you we won't have to explain it. Soon, we'll be together…not just in dreams."

Jamie held onto those words as he fell asleep with Eddie holding his hand and stroking his hair, the cameo pin he bought firmly in place over her heart.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty One

Eddie went back and forth between her home in Long Island and Jamie's sick bed for three days. In the meantime, Danny worked with Gormley to get the precinct surveillance tape for the day of Jamie's beating. "I can't tell Dad," Danny explained after he failed to get the tape and subsequently Max for 72 hours. "I'm trusting you, this is man to man now."

Gormley sighed, "Okay, but it's against my better judgment to keep the old man out of the loop. Me and my box might get sent to Staten Island."

"I can't betray my brother," Danny replied. "He's had enough of that lately and he won't handle it if I do it to him too."

"Supposed you tell me what you can," Gormley replied.

"Well, Jamie was not a victim of a robbery, the beating wasn't that," Danny replied. "I can't say what it was but it was not that. Claudia says she was at work, I don't think that's true. I tried to get the tapes, and no dice. I'm hoping you can get them for me so I can learn the truth."

"You think Claudia had something to do with Jamie's injuries," Gormley sighed. "And now she has the little one by herself there and you say she's not the best mother."

"She's a horrible mother!" Danny insisted. "A spider is a better mother, but I can't prove it without those tapes!"

"I'll make the call to get the tapes here tomorrow morning, we'll review them together and handle this together, Reagan," Gormley replied. "Jamie's a good man, a good cop."

"And a good brother, Lieutenant," Danny agreed. "Thanks."

"Jamie calm down," Eddie soothed as Jamie angrily paced his hospital room. "You can collapse a lung if you don't settle down now. Danny is doing his best to get Max out but Claudia is Max's mother, he can't just barge in and take him if she won't open the door. To push it will make it worse.

"She can't take care of him, Eddie!" Jamie sighed. "She can't take care of him."

"She let your dad in yesterday and he said Max was clean and that he wasn't crying," Eddie reminded Jamie. "That's good. Now, sit down on the chair and hold April, she's upset her friend Jamie is so scared."

Jamie sighed and settled in the chair taking April in his arms. "You are a cute little bundle aren't' you? And you have a diaper full of poop…Can you give me the diaper bag, I'll get it."

"You're a natural father," Eddie smiled. "Oh, look she's helping…" April was holding her little legs upwards so that Jamie could more easily work the diaper. "Yeah, she is, isn't she? She's so precious Eddie."

Eddie slid off her perch, "Kara is going to babysit her tonight. Tom is out of town and the nurse said that someone had arranged a dinner for you and me. Do you know anything about that?"

Jamie was genuinely confused about that one. "I honestly have no idea, but I wish I thought of it. Who else knows Tom's out of town and you have more time tonight?"

"The only other person I mentioned it to was your father," Eddie replied. "He wouldn't…would he?"

"He might," Jamie laughed. "Dad's not a fan of Claudia, and he gave us his blessing. Apparently, my mother was mismatched before they got married, so…I don't know if he knows how far it's gone, but he does have inclination that we are not just former partners and friends."

Kara arrived a half hour later to take April, then only a short time later. "Knock knock," Jamie's day nurse stepped into the room with two big bags from Sparks. "Your dinner has arrived."

Eddie could smell the magnificent steak already. She took the bag and ordered Jamie to sit. "Sit and rest, you have broken ribs. I'll set this up." The only thing missing was candles, but those were a bad idea in a hospital. There as sparkling cider, because of Jamie's pain medication, lobster and steak, shrimp cocktail and chocolate cake for dessert.

"This is incredible, but there's no receipt and no note," Eddie observed.

"It's my Dad, then," Jamie replied. "Danny could never afford this and Pop would want to take some credit so that pretty much narrows it down. Come here."

Eddie slowly walked to Jamie and stood so he could hold her hands. "Have dinner with me?" he asked gently. He had not yet had the chance to plan much of their interactions.

"I'd love it," Eddie replied and sat down across from him, her cameo pin on full display even on a V-neck shirt.

They ate quietly, speaking softly of plans for their future. "I like Long Island," Eddie told Jamie. "It's quiet and a good place to raise a family, but as much as I love my house, I don't see us in a house like that."

Jamie chuckled, putting a hand against his ribs, "Good, because I couldn't afford a house like that, even if I was a lawyer. Old and new money...

"I have money from my father," Eddie replied. "Or I will, there's still funds in off shore accounts, but if I'm living with you, a more simple and modest life is a good life too. I'd have things money can't buy. Love…happiness, falling asleep in the arms of my soulmate every night…feeling so safe. April feels safe too, when you hold her, she feels secure."

"I'm not sure I do," Jamie replied. "I know that I could have unleashed on her, used my police skills, and she was committing a crime by assaulting me, but the idea of…until the papers are signed she is my wife and I can't lay a hand on her."

Eddie understood Jamie's reasoning, she just didn't agree with it. "We're already operating so far out of bounds of the husband and wife realm though. We slept together so many times in Montana and I'm nursing you here like a wife."

"Yes, but hitting a woman, outside the line of duty is a line I just can't…I lost so much of myself, and you gave it back. I can't give up anything else," Jamie replied. 'You might not want what 's left if I compromise myself."

Eddie took another deep breath, before Jamie went home she wanted him to talk to the therapist, he'd put it off but Eddie thought that now it was more important than ever.

"No, you can't," Eddie replied. "You never could and that's what I love most about you Jamie." Eddie stood up and walked around to Jamie's side of the makeshift dining table. "Can I give you a kiss where it isn't swelled?"

Jamie nodded, "You can give me a kiss anytime you want," Jamie replied and puckered his lips while Eddie took great care to keep the pressure light and only on the portion of his face that was not throbbing. When the more intense swelling went down, Jamie had more pain.

Jamie kissed Eddie back, turning so he could place his full lips on hers. It ached and pulled but he didn't care, the kiss was important, that connection was forever, a few minutes with a sore lip was worth that, because that was priceless.

"Will you stay with me?" Jamie asked Eddie the next afternoon when she told him her doctor friend was coming to see him.

Eddie sighed, "I really can't stay with you Jamie. You need to talk freely and openly about all of what's happened, you can't temper your emotions or your feelings for me, to protect me or anything."

Eddie ached to be with him, she knew it would be very hard, but Jamie had to be able to let go all the way, he couldn't with her there.

Jamie nodded, the forlorn look on his face almost broke Eddie's resolve to let him have this time. "I'll be right outside." Eddie kissed Jamie's forehead. "Here, put your pillow so you don't hurt, I'll be back in the minute you are through."

The doctor arrived five minutes later, a tall man, but with a soft demeanor not unlike Jamie's own. "Nice to meet you Jamie, Detective Janko has told me a lot about you. Are you comfortable in the chair?"

Eddie stepped out of the room as the session started. Jamie was guarded, this was a new person, and he was always weary of them but this man had Eddie's trust and that was everything.

It wasn't like talking to a regular shrink. Robert was very relaxed and let Jamie speak about how he first met Claudia, his frustration at his feelings for Eddie…then the day that changed their lives, the day he found out Max was coming.

"I felt horrible and wonderful all at once," Jamie replied. "Horrible because it was the wrong woman, and wonderful because this was one thing I really wanted, to be a father and have a family. I was dragging my feet for selfish reasons but I did want a family and child. So, I focused on making the family around Max, not making it for him, I did my son a real disservice and I…. I don't know that I deserve him."

Eddie paced outside the room, listening for sounds of distress. She told herself if Jamie was crying or struggling she would go inside and hold him, comfort him. It was driving her crazy not to be inside holding his hand but if he was going to get help this was important, it had to be about what was right for Jamie.

"This time with Eddie," Jamie told the doctor. "It's my life, it's my future, my family…but…it's wrong, isn't it? Even if my marriage is a disaster…even if her husband is having an affair…it's wrong."

"Does it feel wrong? Or is that your upbringing tells you it's wrong? Is it guilt?"

"Not guilt, I don't feel guilt at all," Jamie sighed. "I know it's right when I hold her, I always knew. I keep going down the path of the pain I caused. In Montana one night, something happened and she went to her room with her friend. She sobbed her heart out that night over me, I put those tears on her face, I put that sound in her throat and I felt…nothing Claudia can do could make me feel that low, that horrible…I failed Eddie again. I keep failing!"

The session continued another forty minutes, then the doctor opened the door to reveal a very tired but less burdened Jamie to Eddie's eyes. "I need to work with him more, but he's going to be all right, I think. Time, patience, and a great deal of love is the best medicine for him now."

"Thank you, Rob," Eddie smiled. "I'll just go give him that first dose."

Eddie gently helped Jamie back to bed, he was tired and spent after his session. "Go easy…ease back on the bed…"

Jamie cried out in pain when he finally got settled, "I know…I know…" Eddie sat on the bed and held Jamie to her chest. "Just take little breaths for a minute. Little tiny ones. Pant. Remember when I was having April and I was so scared and you were there with me. Just like that, I'm here with you."

Eddie felt Jamie's body grow heavy against her side, he had fallen asleep in her arms again. It was getting to be late, so Eddie slid out of Jamie's arms and found the pad and pen he kept by his bed.

Dear Jamie,

I should head out now but know I'm always beside you in spirit. Once things are resolved for you, know I will keep my promise to you. The days of you being hurt and betrayed are over Jamie. I will never betray your love or your trust in me. Sleep well, my love, rest and heal. I'll see you tomorrow. I will bring a special Serbian treat for you, it's a tea but is good for bruises…I will wash your cuts and pains in it and in my love.

Always,

Eddie

Eddie left the note under the pillow and kissed Jamie's cheek. She slipped out of the hospital room and headed to Kara's house to pick up April and bring her home.

"It's way after noon and there is no sign of Claudia!" Danny show Gormley and Baez. "She lied, she lied, she manipulated a police computer!"

Gormley sighed, "Okay, I know Reagan, but we have to be really careful now. We have to confront her, but we can't spook her while she has the little boy."

"My dad is the only one she let's see Max, and the other night he reported she had Max locked in his room crying out. Dad was outraged, so she finally let him out. Dad tried to run with him but Dad can't run anywhere."

"CPS?" Baez asked.

"No, too risky," Danny replied. "Max is not in danger, he's being taken care of he's just…not being love. If Jamie lost access to Max…put my brother in his grave and I won't do that!"

"So, what's the plan?" Baez asked.

"I'm going to confront her with the tape, tell her I know what really happened, and use it as leverage to get Max and make her to agree to a divorce, that's all I can do."

"And if she won't give you the boy, what then?" Gormley asked.

"Then, we have her arrested and take our changes with CPS," Danny replied. "But I need to try this first. Please."

"This is friend to friend, man to man, and if your old man goes berserk…"

"No box, I promise. No box," Danny replied. "Thank you!" Danny took the DVD and headed to Jamie's apartment ready to do battle.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Eddie hurried out of her car and over to the security entrance to the hospital. She was in a pair of high black heels and a short, belted raincoat, moving like a bat out of hell to get to Jamie's room. She was chilly in this outfit, but she wanted to cheer Jamie up. This would do the trick.

"You look so much better, Jamie," Erin told her little brother smiling.

"How's the other guy look?" Sean asked standing with his mother.

"Better than me," Jamie replied. "I'm so glad to see all of you though. How did you arrange this Linda?"

"I have my ways," Linda smiled, glad to see a smile on Jamie's face.

Frank was as well, though he knew that the previous night he likely had one as well.

Even Jamie wasn't expecting Eddie that afternoon, April had a well baby and she said she probably couldn't make it that day, so when the door opened and Eddie stepped inside in her outfit, Jamie's eyes showed his shock.

Eddie turned beat red, there in Jamie's room were half a dozen Reagans, most of them having no idea about Eddie. "Officer Janko," Frank covered quickly. "What bring you…" Frank's eyes caught a glimpse of a lacy pink hem, only a seasoned cop would make it out. "

"Oh, I heard and I'm here to visit…" Eddie moved closer to Jamie's bedside. "I wanted to see you, Jamie."

Jamie tried with all his might not to burst into laughter. Eddie was doing her best not to look mortified. Henry looked at Frank, the two shared a knowing glance. "Well, we've been here a while, so maybe we should go and let Jamie and Officer Janko visit. We can come back another day, I'm sure she's very busy in "Nassau County."

"It's busy," Eddie replied. "I do my best for Jamie. April had a well baby so I had time. She gained a whole pound."

Eddie sat down carefully, but the slit of the jacket fell open exposing to Jamie's vision and Frank's trained eye, Eddie's almost bare thigh. "That's great!" Jamie said. "Eddie, can I have a cup of water…" Jamie wanted her to stand up so no one else could see. Eddie did it on reflex, catering to Jamie's needs.

"Well, we should be going," Frank said again. "Jamie, you enjoy your visit with Detective Janko, okay? Pop, Erin, let's go…"

Eddie was mortified, "No! Please stay I'll go, you stay and finish your visit!" Jamie and Frank protested in unison. Just when Eddie thought it couldn't get any worse Linda said Eddie was looking flushed and offered to take her coat. Eddie wanted to disappear into thin air!

Thank God Frank stepped in again, "We do have to be going anyway, as I said we have a much easier time getting to see Jamie…Eddie have a drink and sit down, everyone else let's go."

"Thanks for coming, I do want to catch up with Eddie though," Jamie replied. He wasn't sure his sister was going to leave but Frank gave her a gentle tug, not leaving her much choice.

"Okay…" Jamie said when they were gone. "I have got to know exactly what is under that coat."

"Now? No!" Eddie exclaimed. "I'm going home and never leaving the house again. Almost your whole family! If it was Danny or just your father. Your sister almost saw me in my sexy nightie."

"Ooh, now I really need to see," Jamie smiled and reached out to pull the coat's belt open.

The material hit the floor in a whoosh revealing Eddie in a sexy but delicate pink negligee, trimmed with lace that was a darker shade of pink. "Oh, Eddie…" Jamie sighed. "You're beautiful…" He reached out for her. "Come…let me hold you…let me hold you close."

Eddie lowered the bedrail, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't unless you say no," Jamie replied. "You are so gorgeous.' Jamie's favorite feature was Eddie's hair, his hands went right to her soft locks, working his hands into it, softly stroking. Jamie pulled Eddie closer and slid his over her as he began to kiss her.

Eddie found it hard to resist when Jamie was in a seductive mood, and he clearly was. He was focused on their connection, not the pain in his lips, ribs, or arm. "Let me know if I hurt you," he whispered, the cast making his left arm clumsy. Jamie felt like a teenager trying to score in his parents house, "I see a pattern forming here, first the rental car, then the Mile High Club, now a hospital bed!" Eddie chuckled at Jamie's expression, "Are you complaining?"

"Never!" Jamie began to kiss Eddie again, still focusing on stroking her hair. Eddie didn't intend to seduce Jamie here, she only wanted for him to laugh and smile, a shock and awe moment, but he had other ideas. "Jamie…you're not…"

Eddie was worried he'd hurt himself, but she didn't want to deny him. They both started to giggle, their laughter a healing presence "Jamie lie still, let me…" She would do the work, "just keep your voice down!" This would be one for the record books!

Jamie and Eddie both moved slowly, they didn't want to risk bumping a call button or causing a nurse to come into the room. Eddie straddled Jamie and slid her body under the covers. His arms came around her small form holding her in place. "I missed you…and it's not even a week.." Jamie sighed.

"I missed you…I…didn't intend…" Eddie wanted to be sure he knew that.

"I know, but I did…" Jamie moved his good hand to touch her breasts, they were heaving out of the nightie and brushing his hospital gown. "I love you, Eddie. The more time we spend together then apart, I'm sure of it."

"Me too…" Eddie echoed carefully moving down his chest. "Are you sure, I won't be upset…"

Jamie leaned forward, biting back a gasp when his ribs protested. This time he kissed a little more fiercely, to reassure and comfort Eddie, to let her know he was fully on board with this, that it was his desire and his choice.

Eddie took the kiss for what it was, Jamie's request for her to continue to explore. Eddie rolled the gown up just enough and wiggled so that she was pressed against Jamie. He moved up and she moved down, connecting their bodies in an exquisite mix of love and passion. Jamie shuddered with his release, and Eddie sighed with hers. She leaned against his good side and flushed bright red.

"What?" Jamie asked. 'You okay?"

Eddie began to laugh, "That was really something. I hope no one heard us."

"Don't worry, I'm sure they've heard worse things," Jamie replied. "This was a pleasant surprise. A very pleasant surprise indeed."

Eddie looked directly into Jamie's eyes with conviction, "Your turn to try and top this rendezvous!"

Jamie smiled ear to ear, "challenge accepted!"

Danny knocked hard on the apartment door. He could hear Max crying inside the house as Claudia came to the door. "Get out…" she said firmly but Danny held the tape. "You sure about that? I have evidence, you might want to let me in."

Claudia stood back, "What do you want Danny?"

"My nephew, in my arms, now. He's going to my grandfather until Jamie can sue you for custody. You beat him, I know you beat him."

"I did no such thing, you brother is a trained cop, I could never!"

"You could because he'd never raise a hand to you and you did! Get my nephew now or I'll use this tape!"

"You couldn't' have anything…" Though Claudia's voice was faltering. Could he have been that smart?

"How about a surveillance tape of the day my brother was beaten within an inch of his life? Of you, NOT at the precinct!" Danny thundered. "You give me the boy and Jamie a divorce and it goes away, you fight me, I play it for Dad, your CO everyone…This tape goes away if you give me the boy now."

Max was sitting on the floor in his diaper crying. "Unca…" He got up and waddled to Danny. "Sit down you little shit!" Claudia snapped at the baby.

Danny took the baby in his arms, "It's okay, Buddy. We're going to se Poppa…and Grandpa and Daddy. You want to see Daddy?"

Danny was almost angry the baby didn't have bruises or a rash. If he did it would be easier to fight Claudia for custody, for now he had to get this baby out of here. A custody fight would come later.

"You can't take my baby, and Jamie won't divorce me, he won't…"

"He will, in fact he wants to see you and your lawyer at the hospital where he's still recovering," Danny replied. "Be there...tomorrow at three."

Danny turned on his heel and left the apartment with baby Max in his arms. Danny was about ten feet from the door when he heard the gun shot. Max began to cry even louder in his uncle's arms. Danny knew the shot came from inside Jamie's apartment. In seconds, neighbors were coming out of their apartments. Danny recognized Mrs. Miller, an older lady that sometimes sat with Max. 'Can you hold him? I have to see…"

Danny shoulder charged the door, and found Claudia, gun on the floor, a photo of herself and Jamie at their wedding with a bullet hole in it, crying with a razor blade to her wrist. Danny wanted to laugh, someone like her never committed suicide for real, but there was some blood. "This is 5-4 Detective, I need a bus forthwith, possible suicide attempt."

"You can't take my life from me, Danny Reagan!" Claudia raged. "I take my own life…"

"Claudia, I'm not taking anything, I'm trying to protect Maxy, okay? We all love him and you're too stressed now to be a good mom to him. Put the razor down…put it down…"

Claudia's hand opened the bracelet fell out of her hand. "I can't lose my family, I…"

Danny sighed as the ambulance arrived, Jamie didn't need this now, he just didn't.

Danny arrived at the family home with the baby and some of his things, "Here we go, Max. It's Poppa…"

Henry reached for the weak and still crying little boy. "This child is lighter than when he was last here."

Danny nodded, "He's screamed like this for a week. I had to strong arm her, but tomorrow this ends…all of this ends. I have to run to the hospital now and talk to Jamie. Psycho tried to kill herself!"

"How?" Henry asked rocking Max in his arms.

"I think she thought about eating her gun, then a razor to her wrist. She cut a bit but I think it's more…" Danny sighed. "I need to be there when the kid is notified."

Henry nodded, "Give him my love and tell him his baby is safe with me. Aren't you little guy, Poppa will fix you right up."

Danny flew, lights and sirens to the hospital. The doctors would be notifying Jamie soon and Danny didn't want this falling on him alone.

When Danny arrived at the hospital, Jamie was just getting into bed from some PT. "Hey Kid," Danny said as he stepped ito the room. "You have a minute?"

"I've got lots of minutes," Jamie replied. "Eddie headed home already, what's up?"

Danny took a breath, "I finally got the proof I needed on Claudia, so I went by the apartment to get Max and he's safe with Pop now, but while I was there, Claudia…she flipped her lid even more than normal, she shot up your wedding picture and then cut part of her wrist with a blade. She was brought here…"


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three

Danny just finished talking to Jamie when a nurse opened the door, "Sergeant Reagan, I'm sorry to bother you, but your wife was brought in with a possible suicide attempt and the doctors downstairs need to speak to you. I have your ride."

Jamie looked at Danny, "She's still my wife, she's still Max's mother, I have to speak to the doctors, but tomorrow, I'm still speaking to the lawyers."

Danny agreed and followed Jamie downstairs to the emergency area. Dr. Braxton, was the psychiatric doctor on call and sat down with Jamie. "Sergeant Reagan, I'm so sorry about your wife."

Jamie only nodded, the acceptable thing to do. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Oh, yes, physically she's fine, only a couple stitches, it probably won't even scar," the doctor replied. "Mentally is another matter, when someone tries to take their own life…though this looked like more of a call for help than an actual attempt."

Jamie nodded, "We're going to be divorcing, I'm sure that was part of it if not all of it. What is she saying now?"

"That she's sorry, that her life is a mess…that she can't lose her family. But tonight, I'm not sure it's beneficial you talk to her. Perhaps tomorrow when she's been fully admitted, you can see her. Seeing you right now might aggravate feelings of shame…"

Jamie took a breath, what did Claudia know about feelings of shame? He had feelings of shame, feeling of anger…Jamie held the arms of his chair. "Thank you, doctor. I'll see her tomorrow, but I don't plan on resuming this marriage."

The doctor only nodded and pushed Jamie back into the hall where Danny was waiting…

"I already called her Kid," Danny told him as Jamie looked up at him, body shaking, chest heaving despite his ribs. "She's on her way."

Jamie had to smile through the pain, of course she was…

Danny got Jamie settled back in his bed just as Eddie arrived from Manhasset with April. "Kara can't keep her," she explained and smiled at Jamie. "I can't believe it, are you okay?"

Eddie put the baby's seat down and went to Jamie' side. She carefully slid her arms around him, "You're shaking…"

"I'm pissed!" Jamie replied firmly. "I am pissed off royally that she pulled this shit! She's beaten me up, she's forced me to have sex, she's…Danny said Max was always crying so God knows what she was doing to my baby boy while she put me in here and she's the one who tries to kill herself!"

"I know," Eddie soothed. "I know it's not fair, I know, but try to calm down. Danny, can you please take April out for a few minutes so I can, please?"

Danny nodded and took the baby's carrier, "Come on little Miss, Mommy's got her hands full."

When Danny was gone, Eddie climbed into the bed with Jamie and wrapped her arms around him. "Let it go…it's safe, you're safe, let it go."

Jamie was surprised at his own anger, he pushed Eddie off him. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to shout! "How dare she pull this shit! I want to leave her, I want my freedom and she does this. Why? To guilt me into staying and being her little punching bag? Someone to make her feel big and important when she's nothing…she is nothing."

Eddie merely nodded her head and listened to Jamie's rant. "I'm supposed to talk to her tomorrow, what am I supposed to even say to her? I don't care, that's for sure!"

"Oh Jamie!" Eddie was surprised at the venom in his voice.

"What? It's how I feel!" Jamie thundered. "I'm angry and I have every right to be! Okay, I screwed up in the first place, but Max didn't He's an innocent little baby who probably thinks I abandoned him too. She had no right! No right!"

"I know, I know." Eddie whispered. "Tell her that, tell her she had no right to demand marriage, no right to threaten your family's good name. I know…"

"No!" Jamie snapped. "No, you don't know, you can't know! You go home to your mansion with your maid and your Daddy Warbucks husband and child, you are cherished and worshipped by two men! You do not know!"

Eddie was taken back by the tone and the violence in Jamie's words. She was almost glad to see Danny had opened the door to bring her a fussy April. "She's crying and she spit her paci out twice."

Eddie nodded and got off the bed to comfort her daughter. Danny's eyes fixed on his brother as Eddie took April's carrier. "I'm going to step out," she replied her voice tight. "I need some air."

Eddie hurriedly left with April in her arms holding on tight. Danny looked at Jamie, eyes narrowed, "What the Hell was that? Danny asked. "That woman has done nothing but be there for your sorry ass since you got hurt. She's here every second she can be, she's gotten written up on her job to be here for you, to nurse you…hold you…and you speak to her like that!"

"There no way she can possibly understand, Danny" Jamie defended.

"No?" Danny replied. "There is actually a way, she was thrown to the curb too. The right woman with love in her heart for you and she was thrown to the wolves when you knocked that nutjob up! She knows what it's like to hurt and now she gets to mop up the mess that woman made, put aside that hurt…that might be worse than what Claudia did. A lot worse!"

Jamie thought a minute, then sighed, maybe it was worse, but the words had already left his mouth.

Danny quickly responded, "If I were her, I'd go home! But I bet you she'll be back, because that is what you are throwing away." Danny stepped out, leaving Jamie time to think and contemplate his actions with Claudia from day one, he had hurt Eddie, but she forgave him and they were planning a life. He hoped he didn't screw it up.

Eddie returned ten minutes later with a quiet, dry April. Jamie's eyes were soft again and he smiled at her. "Can I hold her?" It was a good way for Jamie to gauge how much trouble he was in with Eddie if she let him hold April or not.

Eddie carefully removed April from her carrier and laid her in Jamie's arms. Jamie looked down at the baby girl, almost four months now. "Do you remember I held you on your birthday?" he asked. "Yes, I did, you were so tiny, so new…You're still a very tiny girl…"

Eddie watched gentle Jamie reemerge with her little girl in his arms. April was very content to lay and stare up at Jamie with her eyes shining. "She likes you," Eddie told him. "She knows when people are nice." Eddie kept her words soft but guarded. Only Jamie had the ability to hurt her that deeply, he was the only person she loved enough. She knew it was the pain, both physical and emotional talking, but it still stung.

Danny stayed in the corner of the room, not wanting to give Jamie another opportunity to damage his relationship with Eddie. He was already on very thin ice. Jamie rocked April until she fell asleep, "It's very late, I have to get her home,' Eddie murmured taking her daughter. Eddie didn't offer a kiss or a hug, she took April and headed back to her mansion and her staff.

"I blew it," Jamie sighed. "I blew it big time."

"I'd say so," Danny replied. "Just because you had it hard doesn't mean you get to be a jerk. You married a woman that was bat shit crazy, I warned you she was bat shit crazy but you did it anyway. Now you flip out on Eddie again…get it together little brother. The next time you see Eddie you better make it a good apology."

Danny left Jamie to contemplate his words and the potential to apologize to Eddie. She had said she would be there for him when he spoke to Claudia, but after how he treated her just now, how could she be? He wouldn't blame her for not coming, he wouldn't even blame her if she didn't meet him in Montana next year. He lashed out because he was hurting, and in turn he tried to hurt her!

Eddie crawled into bed next to Tom, she didn't expect him home for two more days. It was pretty hard to hide that she'd cried all the way from Manhattan but she managed to do it. Thank God for allergies.

Tom moved to pull Eddie close. She remembered her promise to Jamie, they would be celibate except for each other.

"I'm so tired," Eddie sighed. "I was to the hospital again and I have to go back tomorrow."

"He's no better?" Tom asked. "Eddie, you're wearing yourself out honey."

"He's better physically but…there's one more thing I promised to be there for Tom. I have to get up really early."

Tom nodded and kept Eddie close to him to sleep, though he didn't push the intimacy. He had the relationship he needed for that, no reason to put strain on Eddie when it wasn't necessary.

Jamie's nurse came in at 9 am to bring him to see Claudia. Jamie hadn't slept a wink the night before, between the anxiety over the confrontation and over screwing up with Eddie…well, if he could have paced he would have. Jamie was shocked to see that Eddie was waiting for him outside his room. "Nurse, can I have a moment alone with my friend before we go up?"

The nurse, who suspected it was not just a friend, stepped off to the side. "I'm sorry," Jamie said as soon as they were alone. "I'm so sorry, I was…there is no excuse for the way I acted. I hurt you and I'm sorry."

The apology and the tone meant a lot but they still had to talk that out. "We'll talk about it later, when you are feeling better, okay?"

Jamie nodded, "I'm surprised you even came."

Eddie looked at Jamie's eyes, "Just because I'm upset with you for saying some very cruel things doesn't mean my love for you just goes away. It didn't go when you married Claudia, or when Max came, it didn't go when I married Tom or had April, love doesn't just go…remember?" Eddie touched the ID bracelet Jamie wore, then the cameo pin that was always above her heart. "Love is patient and kind."

Jamie reached up to brush a piece of hair off Eddie's face. His arms ached to hold her closer. Jamie set the break on the wheelchair and pushed up. "Can I hold you? I need to hold you. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Eddie took a breath, "You can hold me…" Eddie knew Jamie needed to draw strength as much as he needed to offer his comfort. Their hug was soft and tender, neither one holding too hard, but they did hold on for a long time. "You hurt me Jamie," Eddie whispered as she swayed a bit. "And just like you, I can only hurt so much. Please remember that."

Jamie nodded, and rocked a little more. Eddie gave a firm squeeze above his injured ribs. "I've got your back, partner," Eddie whispered. "Always, always…"

Jamie remembered that, a quote from one of Eddie's tearjerker movies. He dropped a soft kiss on her forehead, "Promise, promise."

Jamie pulled back and offered Eddie a smile, "Let's do this."

Claudia's therapist was outside her room when Jamie arrived. "How is she doing?" Jamie asked. "is she more lucid today?"

"She's lucid, she's a little freewheeling but she knows what's going on and she's waiting to see you," the doctor replied.

Jamie nodded and stood up, "I'm going under my own power."

Eddie sat back and waited while she saw Jamie disappear inside. Her heart thundered and her mind spun, what was going to happen to Jamie on the other side of that door.

Jamie kept his voice monotone as he approached, "How are you feeling?"

Claudia snorted, "You honestly give a damn how I'm feeling?"

"Yes," Jamie replied. "I honestly do. Danny told me…and I…"

"Still can't get a sentence out of your mouth," Claudia replied haughtily. It was pretty clear whatever medication they gave Claudia did not temper her mouth, in fact it enhanced it. "Or is that just for me? I'm sure your pretty little partner can get a lot out of you. You might even be able to take her for a decent ride."

"What are you talking about?" Jamie played dumb, how did she know. They were so careful, she couldn't know about him and Eddie.

Claudia got up, her hair flying wild, her eyes bloodshot and distant, "Your partner, Detective Janko…I saw you the day she went missing with those girls…a partner doesn't act like that. I'm a cop too…you were climbing the walls, clawing your skin off cause you didn't know where she was…I bet her husband doesn't know half the time either…but he will."

"There's…" Jamie began to defend but Claudia was still talking. "She was gung ho to get you in her bed until me…then she skipped on pretty quick to Tom. There's a name for women like that, I know…takes one to know one…"

Jamie's blood was boiling, it was one thing to attack him, but to go after Eddie…that brought out an anger in him like nothing else could ever do.

"Don't worry,' Claudia continued. "I'll be out of here in two days, and I have a lot of friends that will be glad to help me settle that score. Her perfect little life is about to go up in smoke, just as soon as I tell Tom his perfect little wife is polishing every knob in town…"

"You shut your ugly mouth!" Jamie snapped. "You should be the one to talk about marriage vows. There's a lot more to marriage than fidelity, you were sick they day the taught that though weren't you! You might have been faithful, but the love, honor, and cherish bit went right over your head."

"Claudia began to laugh, an almost demented kind of laugher, "you honestly think you were man enough for me? You? Pathetic little fool…" Claudia hissed. "I've been with more men during our marriage than I was before it…you couldn't even manage to make me pregnant like I needed you to do. I had to go to a real man for that."

"What are you saying?" Jamie felt his body go numb, his legs would barely hold him, his hands tingled, but he tried to avoid showing any emotion to Claudia.

"Max," Claudia replied quickly. "Is not even your son. You gave a name and a heart to a bastard!"

"Doc!" Jamie called to be let out of the room. If he spent another second in there, he'd be the one locked away for homicide. "Doctor!" Jamie called again moving to pound on the door. While Claudia's maniacal laughter echoed in the background, Jamie's world fell apart.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four

Jamie didn't even look at Eddie when he finally came out, he fixated on the trash can near the row of chairs and made a beeline for it before violently vomiting in the can. She stood with her hand around his waist as she rubbed his back. Eddie didn't recall ever hearing anyone make that sound, a combination of wrenching, crying, and moaning…she thought it was called keening…maybe that was it, a sound of grief. It took almost five minutes for Jamie to stop gagging and turn slightly, holding his ribs with his hand. Jamie fell into the closest chair, not blinking, barely breathing. Eddie knelt in front of him, "Jamie, Jamie honey…" She put her hands on his knees, being very careful in her actions. He was in a state of total shock.

Eddie stayed quiet after that soft inquiry she stayed close so he could feel her presence, she hoped she brought the same safety and security to Jamie as he did to her. When Jamie's breathing regulated a little bit, he looked at Eddie, eyes hollow. "It was all for nothing,' Jamie almost whispered. "Nothing…I gave you up, I gave up my life for nothing…She lied to me. All this time. Max isn't even my son and I gave everything up to…"

The monotone and expressionless sound scared Eddie, but not as much as the fact Jamie's whole body shook. Eddie wanted to grab him and hold him to her chest, rock him in her arms and tell him it was all a terrible dream that would go way, but she knew it wasn't. She also knew the real truth…

"Jamie," Eddie held his gaze firmly. "Max doesn't know you aren't his natural father. To that baby boy you are Daddy, the Daddy he loves to sing with and be held by…the Daddy that rocks him and loves him with all his heart. You're Daddy to that baby boy, and he needs you."

Jamie's chest began to heave with sobs, "If I leave her now…If I try I'll never see him, they'll…"

"Ssh, ssh…" Eddie soothed. "Nurse, can we take him to his room? He's in no condition." The nurse quickly obliged. It was no secret who Eddie was, she was the wife of a very important donor to the hospital, her wish was a command to all staff.

"When he's lying down again perhaps his doctor can. He was vomiting…" Eddie kept rubbing Jamie's back and hand in her own. "Do you want to see Maxy, Jamie? Pop will bring him down and you can hold him and love him."

"He's not mine," Eddie. "I love something that isn't mine, I'm doing it again and again…you're not mine, you're Tom's…"

"I'm yours in all the ways that count," Eddie soothed. 'Let's lie down in the bed, rest those ribs, do you hurt?"

"I don't know," Jamie replied. "I…" Eddie nodded. "Come on, lie back for me. Here's your pillow."

The nurse did a set of vitals on Jamie, "Ma'am, I'm sorry he's medically in shock, you are going to…"

Eddie locked her shoulders, 'If the word leave is about to come out of your mouth, you best think again. I am not leaving him like this, but I do think he needs a doctor. Please call his doctor." Eddie turned back to Jamie dismissing the nurse's idea she needed to leave jamie's side.

The doctor administered a light sedative bringing Jamie's pulse and heart rate down to a more normal level. Eddie held a water cup for him, then sat with his hand in her own. "Tell me…"

Jamie began at the beginning. "She knows, Eddie," Jamie told her quietly. "She knows about us, I have no idea how, but she knew I was unfaithful and she knows it's with you."

"Okay," Eddie took a long breath. "That's okay we were going to handle…"

"She's had affair after affair," Jamie sighed. "One more than the next. But that worst part of it is, she's going to tell Tom. She's going to ruin your life and April's life…you…" Jamie began to breath very quickly again. "I will do anything to keep that from…I'll do anything to protect you and April…" Jamie' speech was starting to slur as the sedation took effect.

"I know you will, but don't you worry,' Eddie replied. "I've got this."

Eddie texted Danny, "911, hospital now!" Danny's heart about stopped when he saw it but turned immediately to rush to his brother. He and Jamie had become so very close through all this.

When Danny arrived he found Jamie mercifully asleep and Eddie fit to be tied. "That bitch!" she hissed. "She lied to him all this time! Max isn't his son, she told him flat out Max isn't his son. And to top that…" Eddie lowered her voice. "She knows about Jamie and me is threatening to tell Tom. I don't care about that, let her tell him but…he's sedated, Danny. He's sedated!"

"All right, calm down," Danny soothed. "Jamie's understandably upset, but we don't know Max isn't his, Claudia is a liar, but that's easy enough to check out. As for the affair, she is a nutjob so Tom probably won't believe her…"

"I don't care, Danny, she did that to him…look at him!" Eddie was almost in tears herself from her anger. "I'm not letting her do this, she hurt him and abused him for the last time. Can you stay with him?"

"Yeah," Danny replied. "What, wait you're leaving? You're leaving him just…"

"No, I'm not but I have to put a stop to this garbage with Claudia once and for all and I have an idea how I can do it, but I need to move fast and I can't do it here." Eddie was gone in a flash, before Danny could even react.

Eddie was on her cell phone to her lawyer as she hurried out of the hospital, 'This is Mrs. Thomas Manning for Deborah Burke and I demand she see me today…" Mrs.. Thomas Manning got what she wanted.

"Eddie…" Jamie moaned as he woke from a drug induced sleep a little later. "Eddie…"

"Hey, Kid, it's me," Danny soothed. "It's me, Eddie had to go, she'll be back later. Got a bee in her bonnet."

"She's hungry," Jamie slurred. "Get's upset when she's hungry."

"Yeah…you want to talk about it, Kid?" Danny asked. "Eddie said you were really upset."

"Gonna ruin her again, Danny," Jamie slurred. "Gonna ruin her life again…hate me…she should hate me."

"Oh I doubt she does that kid," Danny sighed. "You want me to lay with you a little bit?"

Danny did this once or twice with Jamie when he had been sick as a young child. Jamie nodded only once. Danny kicked off his shoes and laid with Jamie, holding his hand, vowing that if whatever Eddie was planning didn't get even with Claudia, he would find a way to do it himself.

"You heard me right,' Eddie told the lawyer. "I want you to draw up surrender papers and divorce papers today that dissolve the marriage between these two people and grant sole custody to the father."

"How are you going to get her to sign these?" the attorney asked, knowing Eddie meant business.

"Oh, she'll sign," Eddie replied. 'And she'll want to sign too. I'll handle that, how soon can you have these ready."

"For you, Mrs. Manning, end of business…" That was music to Eddie's ears.

Eddie did not go back to the hospital that day, she knew Jamie would sleep and she had other business before going home to tend to her own daughter. By the time Eddie arrived home she was exhausted. April was lying in her crib when Eddie got to her room. She picked the baby girl up and held her tight. She knew very little in her life for sure, she knew she loved Jamie, she knew he loved her, and she knew this precious creature was her baby, hers. She couldn't imagine the pain Jamie was in, she needed some time to regroup herself, though from the first day they met every pain and disappointment Jamie felt Eddie felt it right along with him.

Tom found Eddie rocking April when he got home from work. "Hush little baby, don't say a word…" She was crooning to their infant. The sunlight was on her hair, Tom felt she looked so beautiful.

"Eddie," Tom said gently. "Honey, I have to ask you something. It's okay if you did this, I'm not mad at you, but by any chance, did you debit our joint account for a quarter million dollars today?"

Eddie nodded only once, "Yes, I did.. I have no choice Tom. Please don't ask what the money is for, just it's for a good cause and it's keeping a family together."

"Honey, that money is our money and if you want to spend it, you can spend it, I just wanted to make sure you did the transaction." Tom reached for April but Eddie shook her head. "I need to hold her right now. Just another minute."

Tom nodded and went to change his clothes. Eddie gave Tom the baby and took some alone time in the bath to get her head around what she was going to have to do in the morning.

Eddie didn't sleep a wink, early in the morning she headed back to Manhattan to check on Jamie. Danny sent a few texts that he slept all night, but was having trouble breathing that morning. Eddie promised to be there as soon as she finished fixing the problem.

The doctor let Eddie into Claudia's room. She was dressed in a royal blue suit, hair in a French twist, with her cameo pin over her heart. She drew her strength from that pin, a little part of Jamie wherever she went.

"Oh, what a surprise," Claudia spoke up. Today she was calmer, the medication had she'd been given the day before made her already unpleasant demeanor worse. "Jamie's little whore."

"Call me what you want, I'm here for Jamie," Eddie said firmly. "More importantly, I'm here for Max. That little guy deserves a lot more than you for a mother, and I'm going to make sure he gets the father that he knows and loves. Here's how it's going to go…"

"Oh, you're telling me what to do like I'm one of your little staffers now?" Claudia hissed.

"If that's how you see it, yes.." Eddie replied. "You see, I want you to do something for me and I'm prepared to pay for the outcome. In the packet on the left is divorce papers, you each leave with what you had when you came in and you change your name back. The packet on the right, that's about Max. You give up your rights to him as his mother, and your name is removed from his birth certificate. Jamie's remains as his legal and custodial parents. In exchange for your signature and leaving Jamie and Max alone, that includes leaving the state of New York, $250,000. All cash."

Claudia's eyes flashed at the sight of the green bills, crisp and fresh from the bank. "So I get all that money there if I sign these papers and get rid of that spineless worm and the brat to boot. What's the catch?"

Eddie moved closer, "That catch is that I aced the hand to hand combat class and know sixteen ways to kill you with my bare hands. If you ever come near Jamie or Max ever again or you send someone to contact them, I will find you and I will use one of those sixteen ways to slowly kill you, do you understand?"

"Quarter of a million bucks buys a lot of understanding," Claudia replied. "I'll sign it…" Claudia didn't even read the pages, she just signed her name and stuck the envelope of money into her bra. Pleasure doing business with you."

Eddie turned on her heel to go up to speak to Jamie when Claudia's voice stopped her, "He'll do it to you too, if they'll do it with you they'll do it to you."

"No," Eddie said firmly. "He won't, he loves me, he loved me when you were the one in his bed…he never loved you. And for that, you should be resentful. You lost out."

Eddie took the papers and disappeared heading upstairs to speak to Jamie about what just happened. Jamie was sitting in the chair when Eddie arrived still a little groggy from the sedative. "Hey," Eddie smiled and reached out to hug him. "You look better, how do you feel?"

Jamie smiled, "It's still a shock to find out…and it hurts like Hell to know I'm not going ot see that boy grow. I held him when he had colic and I cuddled him when he was teething…"

Eddie handed Jamie the custody papers, "And you will kiss cut knees, sign casts on broken bones, and mend broken hearts…Max is yours, legally yours, Claudia signed away her rights."

Jamie's eyes grew wide as saucers, "How on earth…"

"You might not like the answer," Eddie rpelied. 'But I couldn't stand by and watch you lose someone you loved so much. I gave Claudia a quarter million dollars to sign the divorce paper, surrender Max, and leave town for good. As soon as she is discharged, she is leaving New York and Max, and you."

Eddie wasn't sure what reaction to expect, but tears was not it. Jamie covered his face and broke into full body sobs, while Danny smirked like the Cheshire cat, "Way to go, Janko. Mrs. Daddy Warbucks…"

"What?" Eddie asked laughing before going back to Jamie. "Oh, Jamie…I'm sorry I didn't want…"

"No, I'm not angry…I'm not…I'm…how can I ever repay this Eddie? You gave me my son, you gave me my baby boy…How can I repay you?"

Eddie sighed and wrapped her arms around Jamie, "When I cry, hold me. When I get angry, calm me…love me Jamie, that's payment enough. You can't put a price on love, friendship…you can't…" Eddie put a kiss on Jamie's head.

"Danny?" Jamie asked after a few moments catching his breath. "Would you please get Max for me? I miss him and I need to hold my little boy. Would you do that please?"

Danny smiled, 'OF course I will, Kid, now you two behave while I'm gone, four hands visible, no interesting giggling or anything…" Danny raised his eyebrow and left

"How did he…" Eddie asked.

Jamie laughed lightly, "I swear I didn't tell him."

Eddie blushed, "Now, really, how are you feeling? You hurt yourself yesterday getting so sick, how about I rub it a little bit?"

Jamie smiled, "Can you do that hot water thing you did?"

"Come on, let's lie down and I'll do it for you," Eddie replied. "Can't have you getting pneumonia…"

Jamie stretched out on the bed and took a deep breath, "Oh ow…No, especially not as a single father, Eddie I…" Eddie silenced him with a soft kiss. "Stop, I could do it and I did it. You have your son and he had his Daddy. That's what's important and that's what's right."

Eddie made a basin of warm water and held compresses on Jamie's chest for him. Jamie's hands covered hers as they spoke softly, "I'm going to get better for you Eddie and for Max and April too. I know she'll be shared between you and Tom, but she'll know I love her so much. I'm going to keep seeing Rob and work hard to get past this mess."

"I know you will Jamie, and if anyone has the strength of character and the resolve to do that it's you.

 **A/N: From NancyReviews**

 **To my co-author and dear friend, Happy Birthday to you!  
BlueBlood82  
Love and Best Wishes for Health and Happiness, Nancy**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five

When Danny returned with Max an hour later, he found Eddie and Jamie together on his bed. She had just changed the cloth and the rested her head on his chest. Max started to squeal and kick when he saw Jamie his little eyes lighting up, "Da Da Da!"

"Yeah, Buddy, it's Daddy. Did you miss me? You missed me, huh?" Jamie carefully reached for his son and held the boy close. Max had a story for him, he cooed, babbled and bobbled showing Jamie his shoe, his keys and his sock once he removed the shoe. "He's precious Jamie…" Eddie stroked Max's curly hair. "This head of hair…"

"Yeah, I guess he gets that from his biological Dad," Jamie replied. "But it's so darn cute. Max, this is Eddie. Can you say Eddie. Ed-die…"

"Di…" Max christened Eddie with a name and a smile.

"You're right," Danny spoke up. "He gets that hair from his sperm donor…Caught the surveillance camera, Claudia had another visitor not long after Eddie here." Danny showed them the photograph. "Name's Andre Brown, he's an ex cop out of East Harlem. Bad area, got mixed up in some bad stuff. Likely, given the resemblance, he's Max's wel…"

Max was starting to fuss sitting still on Jamie, "Can I take him?" Eddied asked as Jamie studied the picture. "There's no chance he knows, Claudia wouldn't risk that."

Jamie handed Max to Eddie. The boy studied her face and smiled, this was a nice lady, she was very soft and smelled nice…Max laid his head on her shoulder and put his thumb in his mouth. "He likes you," Jamie told her. "He really likes you…"

Eddie stroked Max's hair as she rocked the sleepy infant to sleep, Jamie was the one that did that for Max. "I like him too." Eddie gave Max a soft kiss as she felt him go to sleep in her arms.

Jamie recovered in the hospital another three days, and true to her word, Claudia left New York with the money Eddie gave her. So far, Andre Brown hadn't made his presence known either. Max had started to walk not long after Jamie was discharged and he had his hands full with the little tyke.

Eddie had a hard time adjusting to not seeing Jamie. They would text once or twice a day, keeping things on the downlow until the paperwork was finalized in November. It was difficult after such closeness in Montana and when Jamie was hurt…still they had their life together to look forward to, returning to Montana as a family. Maybe sooner than she thought.

Kara almost ran up the steps of the Manhasset house in early May. She had a back from the drug store and a bag of chips. Eddie had called her in a panic and she had hurried over as soon as she could. "Okay, so how many days late are you?"

Eddie sat down with her calendar, "Eight, but I'm never late, just that once."

"Then you have to take a test," Kara encouraged. She reached in the bag, "I came prepared. Go pee pee on the stick."

Eddie sighed, "I…Kara if I am pregnant the baby is Jamie's I have to tell Tom then and…"

"Then is then, now is now…" Kara replied. "Go on see if you have something to worry about."

Eddie nodded and agreed, heading the bathroom. She waited with Kara while the test developed showing it was negative.

"Negative.." Eddie sighed. "Well,…"

"Well, you know better how you feel," Kara advised. "There's two tests in the box, take the second one."

"How are you always so calm?" Eddie asked. "You always know what to say when I'm coming apart."

"What are friends for?" Kara replied. "Go on, we'll go through this together."

Eddie took a deep breathe and peed again. She waited this time for five minutes before checking the stick, this time it was a plus.

"Well that was a big help…" Kara sighed. "But if one is positive there's at least a possibility."

"I have to talk to Jamie," Eddie replied. "He's not home until after seven."

"Well, I will take my goddaughter for the night, you relax, rest and take care in case, text Jamie and meet him…if nothing else it's a few minutes to see him."

Eddie gratefully hugged Kara, "I owe you."

"Nah, friends forever," Kara replied. "Let mw how how it goes."

Jamie missed Eddie so much badly it hurt. One or two texts a day was not enough for them, not after how close they had been. Jamie dreamt of Eddie at night, coming to him in his bed…sometimes they cuddled with Max and April, a little happy family. Soon, he would promise himself when it felt too hard, and it would be worth waiting for.

"Come to Daddy, Max," Jamie smiled as he came home from a session with Rob. He'd been seeing him once every other week and was beginning to feel much better about himself and his place in the family and life in general. He was glad to be moving on from the nightmare with Claudia, even missing Eddie he was breathing easier.

Max toddled to Jamie and gave him a slippery kiss. "Hey, Pop, how was he?"

'He had a few really messy diapers, I think he's getting a molar," Henry replied. "Otherwise he was great."

Jamie settled down with Max for a little reading time when he phone went off. He knew it was Eddie by the sound of the tone. Jamie peaked at the message, "Emergency, I have to see you tonight. Meet me at O'Keefe's at 9."

Jamie checked his watch, it was already 8. "Sorry Maxy, Daddy has to go bye bye..We'll read later okay? Pop!"

Henry appeared with a dishrag in his hand, "What's wrong? He do another messy?"

"No, no he's okay but a friend is in trouble, and needs to see me. Can you do bedtime with him?"

Henry smiled, "Of course I can. Come here Maximillian, you and Great Pop are going to have a bath…yes we are…let's go."

Jamie changed into a nice pair of jeans and a polo shirt before heading to the pub with what Eddie called the best wings in the world. She was already there when Jamie arrived, her eyes wide, her nose red…

Jamie reached for Eddie and drew her into his arms. "What's wrong? Is it April? Is she okay?"

"Oh, April is great, she's growing like a weed. It's only been a few weeks and you'd barely recognize her," Eddie replied.

"Tom? He's seeing someone else besides Sue?" Jamie was worried.

"No, they are as discreet but as happy as ever, no, Jamie it's me and no, I'm not sick…" Eddie took a breath. "At least not all time…I skipped a period and I took a test, well two of them and one is positive and one is negative. I…"

Jamie's heart soared at the idea of another little one, this time to be shared with Eddie. He was there for Max's birth, but Claudia held him at arms length for the pregnancy. He was there for the early part of Eddie's labor, and the connection was undeniable. "Okay, so you are pregnant?"

"I might be pregnant," Eddie replied. 'One is a pretty strong no but Jamie, if I am pregnant…there is no possible way on earth that this baby belongs to anyone but you. If I am pregnant, the baby is yours."

Jamie jumped out of his chair, knocking it over and grabbed Eddie, pulling her into his arms. "Oh...Eddie, oh…" Jamie's eyes were filled with tears. "This…is just incredible news. You'll see the doctor and we'll find out for sure but…I couldn't be happier at the idea of us having a baby together. That's how it should have been all along."

Eddie sniffled, "We won't be able to wait until November now, and I don't know what Tom will do…I don't think he'll be vindictive about April because of Sue but…"

"Hey," Jamie said gently making Eddie look at him. "You gave me an incredible gift when you handled things with Claudia, I have my son with me, you think I'd do any less to help you keep your daughter. Stop worrying…" Jamie pulled Eddie in tight. He discussed this with Rob earlier that day, that he did have a need to cuddle and care for Eddie, to take back that roll in the relationship. Rob told him to seize the opportunity to be the gardener when it came, but that it was all right to be the flower as well. Jamie was just a little tired of being the flower.

"Okay," Eddie replied. "The baby would be due in January so it would be close in age to April and Max…but three little kids would be a lot for two careers…"

"Eddie," Jamie laughed. "Worrying…let's have something to drink and to eat, and relax. Make your appointment with the doctor and I'll come too it okay? We can find out together."

Eddie agreed to make the appointment the next day. Jamie reached across the table and kissed her hands, "It's going to be fine, I promise."

Eddie smiled, this was her Jamie coming back, her strong steady Jamie that was unphased by the bumps of life. His arm was still in a cast, and she knew his ribs ached, but his soul was slowly being revitalized and restored. Eddie had never loved him more than she did right now.

"Are you feeling okay otherwise?" Jamie asked. "I mean with April I remember you said you were really sick."

"I feel tired," Eddie replied. 'But I have a five month old baby at home and it's May now so it's starting the social season, I'm at lunches and dinners and balls…it's insane, it's so much work."

Jamie moved to sit beside Eddie and rub her neck, "Does this feel better when your neck gets rubbed?"

"Oh yeah, it feels really good…"

Click! Click! Click! From across the street, a police telephoto lens captured the rendezvous. The little bitch and her spineless worm thought they could take Max away with some money and some legal papers…maybe they could but how much money was yet to be determined…these photos would find their way to the right person at the right time…for now though, he would take them to the bank.

"If you are having a baby, our baby," Jamie sighed. "You can leave Tom, move in with me and Dad and Pop…we'll get our own place and marry soon. If not, things will go as planned and we'll marry in Montana next April."

"I can't wait to be in your arms,' Eddie sighed. "I miss you. I know we text and all but it's not the same thing…"

"Oh, here," Jamie and Eddie said at the same time. They each reached into their jackets and produced notes, then exchanged them with one another…

Eddie read hers first…

 _My dearest Eddie,_

 _It's so late at night and we just finished texting, but you had to go because Tom was looking over your shoulder. I can't imagine what that's like for you, you care about Tom, it must be so hard. It means that much more to me that you're to do this, to be with me. I don't deserve it, not after everything I put us through with a trail of bad decisions. Yet, still, there you are, like a beacon in the night…right as rain…a cool breath of fresh air as life burns me down…I survived because of Max but I live because of you. I wish you were in my arms now, to cuddle and be cuddled, to feel from my body to yours, my unending love for you…_

 _Jamie._

The words brought tears to Eddie's eyes. "Oh Jamie…" she smiled gently. "I wish it too…and we'll have it soon. Read yours…"

Jamie opened the envelope and saw Eddie's lips imprinted, her trademark.

 _Dear Jamie,_

 _It's cold for May and I'm thinking to our special Christmas in Montana wearing my cameo pin on my blouse. I always wear your pin on my clothing, it's like I'm wearing your colors, you've marked me…and I love it._

 _April cried forever tonight, Tom took her for awhile. He's a good man and a great father but he's just not you. You often speak of mistakes and take the blame on yourself but the truth is I never fought for us either. I walked out of the bar and didn't look back, I was a coward._

 _I wish so many things were different, but on the other hand, it's the trail of errors that's led us to such peace. I know in my heart of hearts this is the right thing to do, that we must keep our promises to each other, not only of celibacy, and to me that's very important, but of making a family surrounded with love, honesty, and fair dealing. I want to be the mother of the next generation of Reagans…I want to do all I can to do that name proud._

 _With all the love I have,_

 _Eddie._

"You are already a fabulous mother," Jamie assured Eddie. "Max is going to be so lucky when you are raising him…I'll try to do right by April."

Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie softly on the lips, it was late and it was safe. "You will, this will all turn out for the best you'll see."

"I know..." Jamie tipped Eddie's chin up and slipped his tongue into her mouth, gently tracing the interior, tasting her and filling himself with her…it would be a while before they could kiss in private again. Little did they know…

Click! Click! Click! There was nothing private about it.

 **A/N - Please join us Monday for a bonus chapter to celebrate Labor Day.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six

Jamie was on top of the world when he got home that night, smiling and whistling. Max was sound asleep in his bed, Jamie rubbed his belly and gave him a kiss. "You might be a big brother little man."

The next morning Eddie text Jamie that appointment was for the Monday after Mother's Day. Jamie sent back a smile, "And lunch after. I have a feeling we'll need to celebrate."

When her phone went off with Jamie's special text sound, Eddie glanced at it, "It's just as much chance it's a no, but I really, really want it to be a yes…"

"Hope for the best," was Jamie's reply. "Together we'll deal with whatever it is."

Eddie sent a emoticon with a kiss and a hug, the slid her phone away. She didn't know how she would survive not knowing until Monday if she was going to be giving birth to Jamie's baby.

Eddie struggled to sleep the next three nights, Jamie tossed and turned himself, most of those nights. Max was teething his back teeth, and he was up fussing. Jamie rocked him and did the best that he could with him but he needed a Mommy, he needs a breast to be cuddled against, her soft touch, a gentle song…his baby boy was missing out.

Mother's day dawned bright and lovely in New York. Tom had Anita make Eddie breakfast in bed and he and April gifted her with a bouquet of flowers. "give kisses to Mommy,' Tom encouraged the little girl.

Eddie beamed as she took her baby in her arms, "You're so cute…Mommy's girl…Yes you are….and we're going to lunch too?"

"Well, a late lunch,' Tom replied. "This is your special day so the massage therapist is coming at noon to give you a full rub down before we go. Eat up, it's getting cold."

Tom held April while Eddie ate her breakfast. She would give the baby little tastes of her fruit and April would squeal in delight.

In the Reagan house, Mother's Day was a more solemn event. The Reagan men paid respects to the deceased mother's in their life. Max had fun running around the cemetery chasing birds and things on his little legs. Jamie chased him, enjoying his boys antics.

At home, Henry and Frank toiled over a roast and the mother's day mash to be ready for the dinner after church. Jamie tried to find a reason to see Eddie that day, but they would have their time tomorrow to celebrate her becoming a mother again.

A little after 3, just as the Reagan's sat down to dinner, Eddie and Tom stepped into an elegant seafood restaurant with April on Tom's hip. The servers nearly fell over themselves to accommodate them, the very best table, a special appetizer, the works. "To my wife and the mother of our beautiful daughter…" Tom raised his glass of champagne. Eddie smiled and sipped the liquid, making sure not to ingest any of the liquid.

"Thank you, Tom…" Eddie smiled properly and politely and endlessly checked her phone.

Eddie enjoyed a tower of chilled seafood, and a surf and turf meal while Tom did the same. "You look so beautiful today. I don't remember seeing that pin before. Where did you get that?"

"Oh I got this in Montana,' Eddie replied. "I've worn it many times since. I thought it was pretty."

"It is and on you…" Tom stood up as their wedding song began to play. He arranged that of course, feeling that he had to pay more attention to his wife. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Manning?"

Eddie looked at little April, "What about…"

"I'll keep an eye on her, Ma'am,' their server offered.

Eddie smiled and stood up, "Of course you may." Eddie took Tom's hand and stepped onto the dance floor with him moving to the music. As Eddie followed Tom's lead, she felt her back starting to hurt. Eddie found that pretty odd but kept up the appearance of being a happy mother and wife. A few other couples were dancing too, most of them moving in the same circles, almost all of them knowing Tom and Eddie. Eddie felt a sadness start to settle over her, she was playing a role now, not enjoying her life. She had become her own mother…

When the dance was over and dessert ordered, Eddie headed to the bathroom. She felt like she knew why she was feeling discomfort, but she didn't want to believe it was true.

Eddie got into the stall and there it was…the telltale signs that her period had arrived. Eddie had to bite her lip to keep from crying, while having a baby with Jamie would have been difficult now, she had so badly wanted to do it. She would have to tell him too, he was still recovering from so much shock and angst, the idea she would cause him pain. Eddie just wanted to stay in the bathroom and hide. One thing for sure, she wanted to go home.

Eddie stepped out of the bathroom, thinking of how to compose a text to Jamie to tell him this. She wanted to see him so badly, she knew though he wouldn't keep the meeting. There was no reason to.

"Can we take this to go?" Eddie asked Tom. "I think I tweaked by back and I'm not…"

"Of course, my darling," Tom replied. "Of course…I'll have them bring the car around." Tom was tender an caring, making Eddie fell even worse. By the time they got home and Tom took her to lie down with her legs up, Eddie couldn't hide the tears.

Eddie listened to Tom playing with the baby as she texted Jamie. "Well, it's a definite no, got what I was waiting for. Just late. Have fun with Max tomorrow."

Jamie's phone beeped while he was helping Danny clear the table. He went for it immediately because it was Eddie's tone. Jamie's heart sank when he read the text, there was no baby, at least not this time. "Wait, no no…' Jamie texted. "We both have the day off, I think we need to see each other more now than ever. If you still want that is?"

He felt sick to his stomach as he waited for his answer.

Eddie contemplated Jamie's offer, for about five seconds before she replied, "Meet me…?"

"Meet at O'Keefe's…I'll plan the day for us," Jamie replied. "I'm so very sorry Eddie. Let me see if I can break away…I can call?"

Eddie was about to type yes but Tom came into the room, "I called the massage therapist to come back, he'll be here in an hour. April is down for her late nap…Can I do anything"

Eddie left Jamie's text unanswered.

"I don't need the therapist, just to rest. I'll be up in a few minutes, I didn't tweak my back, it's…"

Eddie always had a hard time with her period, especially with her back. "I see, well, I'll cancel him then and get you a heating pad, okay? I'll bring the baby in when she wakes up, we can all watch a movie."

Eddie forced a smiled, "Yes, that sounds nice. Please cancel him."

When Tom left the room, Eddie replied. "Tom is around, cramps…had to tell him I didn't feel well, couldn't fake a smile. Sorry."

Jamie was quick on the draw, "Noon then, I'm with you Eddie. I'm right there with you."

Eddie sighed, she knew he was.

The next afternoon, Eddie was early to meet Jamie. She treated herself to a beer while she waited for him to arrive. Jamie was also early and smiled when he saw Eddie. She slid off the barstool and fell into Jamie's arms.

Jamie took a breath and rocked her back and forth gently, "I know…I know…" Jamie repeated the tender words even though he knew there was no way to really know how she felt inside.

"I'm so sorry, I never should have said anything, I…" Eddie sniffled. "I want this so much. "I wanted to give you a child so badly, our child, I'm sorry Jamie."

Jamie rocked Eddie in his arms, it hurt his heart to see her pain. He has to be strong for her now, like she had been for him. "Oh Eddie, we have a family, and we'll all be together I promise. We are already so blessed."

"But this…"

"Ssh," Jamie cooed. "Ssh…We are blessed to have found our way back to each other. Come on now honey, let's go, I have a fun day planned for you. Don't be sad, there's always next time."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's arm as they went to his car. He drove them to an older movie theater, where there was a movie playing he was sure Eddie would like. Her entire demeanor was different though, no giddy smiles, no playful jokes. She was heartbroken over this, almost as if the baby was lost rather than never conceived.

When they got to the theater, Jamie helped Eddie out of the car and pulled her into his arms rocking her slightly. "Talk to me…I'm right here and I wanted to be with you so badly last night. I know you couldn't…"

Eddie nodded, "He was sweet but…Jamie, I wanted this, I wanted this baby with you to give you that experience…I wanted it…"

"I know you did," Jamie stroked her hair. "I know you did, and I know that it hurts. It hurts me too but please…don't cry, okay? Don't cry…"

Eddie couldn't help it though, the tears started to fall down her cheeks. She had never felt a bigger need to be held and comforted by Jamie than she did right now. Jamie's arms came around her even more firmly. "I love you so much," he whispered. "It's going to be okay, my love. It is, I promise."

Jamie wished he could get the pain off of Eddie's face. It hurt his heart to see that, to feel her tears. He kissed the side of her head. "Let's go inside, you can get Sour Patch watermelons and we'll share a big soda…just like when we were partners. Only this time I get to kiss you."

Eddie stayed very close to Jamie, burrowing into his arms and his strength. She felt so warm and safe there, so cherished and loved. His scent was so calming, and his strength…Jamie bough the tickets, candy, popcorn and they sat in the back for the 115 show. No one else was in the room. "You know it's ironic," Jamie told Eddie as they settled in the seats. "Whenever we are here together, I feel like we're the only people in the world. We'll have our family, Eddie, we already do…"

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's shoulder, "Let's not talk about it anymore for now okay? Let's just be together for a bit."

Jamie put his arm around Eddie and stroked her arm. The lights went down and the movie began. It was clear that Jamie picked the movie directly for Eddie, he'd never see a movie like this. It soon became clear that Jamie didn't want to watch the movie, he wanted to cuddle and kiss. Jamie's lips trailed along Eddie's ear and jaw line to the delicate hollow of her throat. "So beautiful, so so beautiful."

Eddie turned her head to begin to kiss Jamie, but as much as she wanted it, her heart wasn't in it. All she really wanted was to be held in his arms, finally she made that request, "Just hold me."

Jamie moved Eddie from her chair to his lap and cuddled her with all his heart. Eddie laid her head on his chest and inhaled. Jamie brought his hand up to stroke her hair. "I love to watch you hair blow in the breeze, when we sit on the balcony in Montana it moves so free."

"Well, we aren't in Montana are we?" Eddie asked.

"No, but that doesn't mean my love for you goes away,' Jamie replied. "We'll have Montana again, we'll have it as a family this time. None of that has to change, I know it hurts about the baby, but I'm fine, all right? Don't get so sad, we can have two or four or six babies…huh?"

Eddie laughed, "If we have six babies, I'll tip over. My boobs got so big from April…"

"There we go, that's my girl.." Jamie pulled Eddie closer. "I'm going to kiss you again now…"

Eddie smiled then she kissed him.

Their lips met softly at first then all of the pent up emotion and tension began to seep out. Jamie's arms held Eddie firm and tight against him, giving her the security she had been telling him she needed by how clingy she had been. Jamie' massaged her back, stroked her hair and cupped her delicate cheeks. They didn't see the rest of the movie.

Jamie held Eddie's hand as they strolled back to his car. He was debating whether or not to give her the little gift he picked up from Max, he didn't' want to pour salt in the wound, but the more he watched Eddie, the more he felt that hope was the best thing he could give her.

They found a restaurant off the beaten path for lunch with old picnic style tables and the best hot dogs…Jamie got the box out of the trunk and gave it to Eddie. "Here, this is from Max."

"From Max?" Eddie laughed. "Jamie, Max still eats his toes, how can he gift me a gift?"

"Well, if he could he would because he is so greatful that he's with me and my family. You gave us such a gift, go on open it," Jamie encouraged and sat sideways.

Eddie worked the paper off carefully and then opened the box. Inside was a soft, silk scarf with blues, pinks, yellows…all through it. It would match almost everything she owned and she could even pin the cameo on it for decoration. What was more touching though was the note, "Dear Miss Eddie, Thank you very much for making sure I stayed with Daddy. I bet you are a really good Mommy. I can't wait until we are all a family and you are my mommy for real…Love Max."

Underneath the heartful words, was an imprint of Max's little hand. Eddie's eyes teared up. "This is the most beautiful, Jamie this was so sweet." Eddie slid her arms around Jamie's chest and held on.

"He's so adorable when I hold him, when he has a bottle, every minute of every day we have together we are thankful to you," Jamie kissed both Eddie's hands gently. "He's still missing out though, I know he's going to just flourish when he has you to hold him and love him."

Jamie you know if you needed me to help with Max," Eddie began.

"Oh, I know, I know…" Jamie kissed Eddie gently. "I know you would…there's more in the scarf…"

Eddie undid the knot on the scarf and revealed a picture of Jamie holding a smiling Max. The back of the photo was dated the previous day and there was a little note from Jamie, "Your two best guys…"

"You are you know," Eddie replied. "Oh Jamie what are we going to do? I was ready to tell Tom…I was…"

"I know, but we're going to keep the plan for now," Jamie replied pulling Eddie onto his lap again. "We are going to keep to the plan, I'm final in the beginning of November, you file by the middle of the month, and we're a family in Montana. It's going to work out, I promise. Stop worrying and being upset, there are better things we can do with two more hours together."

Eddie smiled, "Why Sergeant Reagan, I believe you're right…"

Jamie and Eddie agreed to a few texts and emails when they parted that Monday, but neither had any idea when they would be able to see each other again. Frank's birthday and Memorial day fell around the same time and usually the family had a barbeque, but this year Jamie and Henry decided a more formal event would be interesting. Frank hated his birthday, but this time, Jamie thought a catered dinner at home with some friends would get him to smile. He had a grandson to show off after all.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

Eddie was surprised when she got the evite. The invitation was extended to her and Tom for formalities sake but thankfully Tom would be away on business. Kara was not invited so she would be able to keep April. Eddie was glad to be able to go and at least see Jamie. She could sneak a few minutes in his arms under the guise of friendship, she missed his warmth.

Jamie was giddy when he saw Eddie quickly RSVP. Baker, Gormely, Renzulli, and Garret were among the other guests. What Jamie didn't know is that Henry had chosen to invite his long time friend and former parter, who had a pretty granddaughter Jamie's age.

"Jamie won't like it," Erin warned when she found out.

"I'm not setting him up, I'm merely arranging an environment where he might talk to a girl his age that is not a total nutcase," Henry replied. "I know he invited Eddie as his friend to come to the party so he's not looking at anyone romantically."

"I like Eddie," Erin replied. "It really is too bad that she's married, it's good they are still friends though. It'll be good to see her."

That was what Jamie thought too, how good it would be to see Eddie at Frank's birthday. "You going to wear the pink top and the black pant suit?" Jamie asked.

Eddie ignored that text, it was Jamie's favorite outfit but she had planned a pink flutter sleeve v-neck sundress with a hemline just above the knee, heeled sandals, and of course her cameo pin. Jamie would prefer this dress to his pants suit for sure.

Eddie shopped with Kara for Frank's gift. "He was in the Marines and Jamie says he loves to read so I thought…it's really expensive but…" Eddie held up a six book series, "An Illustrated History of the United States Marine Corp…"

"I think he'll love that,' Kara smiled. "You are the best person to pick gifts, you have great taste and money is absolutely no object."

Eddie laughed and put her purchase up to be scanned. April squealed in her carriage, "How you doing after the pregnancy scare?" Kara asked as they headed to their special tea place for a chat. Kara treated to mini cupcakes from Baked by Melissa and Eddie popped for some lemonades and water in pretty blue bottles.

"I'm okay now," Eddie admitted. "I was so sad when I found out I wasn't pregnant, but Jamie he really came through for me, he took care of me and held me tight. It's only been three weeks but I miss him. I can't wait until Friday when I see him at the party. I'm hoping to get a chance to play with Max a bit too. He took to me when I held him at the hospital but we have to build a bond, Jamie does with April too."

"How are you handling Tom?" Kara asked biting into her favorite cupcake.

"He's a good husband, he has his special time, and I have mine. I do my job as his wife, but…I love him, I'm not in love and that's becoming an obstacle. November can't come fast enough for me, it really can't."

Kara reached across the table and gave Eddie's hand a squeeze, "You'll make it and it'll be worth it…but for my role in this, Matron of Honor at the wedding for sure."

"Matron of Honor, least I can do," Eddie laughed. "Oh, let me try a chocolate one."

The night of the party, Eddie took a car service to Frank's house. She wanted to be able to have fun and not have to worry. Eddie rang the bell bearing her gift for the Commissioner, Jamie answered the door with Max on his hip. "Hey, wow, you look great!" Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek. Nikki and Erin were in the living room helping with the set up.

"Thanks, hey Maxy…" Eddie smiled at the boy. "Got a hug for me?"

Max shied away and hid his face in Jamie's sweater. "He's been really shy, but he comes around, he even hid from Dad yesterday. Come on in… Everyone you remember Eddie, Eddie this is everyone!"

Danny came over to give Eddie a hug followed by Linda and Henry. "You look lovely, young lady. Where is your husband tonight?"

"Tom's in Boston, he's overseeing an addition to the children's hospital there, well his company is and he had some business so he'll be home Tuesday."

Henry thought it was odd he'd be away over Memorial Day but he said nothing. "Well, that's good, we have you to ourselves. Francis, get the lady a drink…what's your pleasure."

"I'm a whiskey girl," Eddie replied. "Jameson would be just fine, neat…"

Jamie's eyes sparkled at the rapport Eddie had with his family. When more than just Danny and Frank found out, things would go smoothly.

"Happy Birthday, Sir," Eddie smiled as Frank handed her the drink.

"Thank you, and considering all you've done for my son and our family…it's Frank. Welcome…"

Eddie felt right at home during the birthday dinner. She laughed at tales of Jamie and Danny from their training days, "A hot dog suit, really Jamie?" Eddie laughed. "No wonder you don't like eating hotdogs anymore."

"I eat hotdogs," Jamie protested. "Yes eat them, but you don't like eating them…"

Just after the main course, while Eddie was throwing away her napkin, Max toddled over to her. "Hey, buddy…what's up?" Eddie asked him. He wanted his cup, it was on the table out of his reach. 'Do you want your juice?" Eddie gave the baby his sippy cup and he smiled at her. His eyes stayed on her as she moved, even after he went back to his Daddy's lap.

Eddie felt like part of the family, not Jamie's girlfriend, but at least his best friend…his pal…she liked the acceptance. Jamie and Danny were extending looks over Eddie's head, there were just too many astute cops at the table for them to sneak off…and it was about to get worse.

The doorbell rang and Henry nearly leapt out of his seat. He moved to open the front door for his old friend and his granddaughter. "Camille, come in come in…" Henry smiled. "Jerry, you come in too." Henry led Camille directly to Jamie, "Jamie, this is Camille Hodges, she's the granddaughter of my old partner, Jerry Hodges. Camille, this is Jamie and his son Max, Camille teaches Kindergarten at PS 119."

Jamie smiled, "Nice to meet you, Camille. Max is a little shy…"

"Oh, that's okay, most kids are at his age…you just have to show them it's okay…" Camille reached for Max, "Come say hi…" She had a big smile and soft voice…Max was still leery but Camille didn't blink an eye.

Eddie bit her lip as she watched Camille take to Jamie and Max. She was gorgeous, dark curly hair, a little taller than Eddie but not enough to make Jamie feel short. She was thin but not overly so, and had the cleanest prettiest face. Her eyes were a soft brown and her skin alabaster. On a scale of 1 to 10, this one was at the top of her game. Henry sure knew how to pick them.

Until then she was having a fabulous time, she fit in, and had some laughs. Now she felt like a fly on the wall watching a scene unfold. It was clear to anyone with eyes Camille was fond of Jamie already, she found him handsome and a loving, doting father. Jamie however, just saw a nice girl.

When it was almost time to serve the cake, Eddie volunteered to help get the plates. Jamie saw the opportunity, and hurried off to the kitchen. Eddie was back before he got there and setting the table like she lived there, like she belonged and she did. Jamie came up behind Eddie as she tried to reach the napkins on the top shelf of the buffet. She was way too small to do it but was anxious and feeling like she had to defend her position. A little hostess effort wouldn't be out of line there.

Jamie saw Eddie stretch and reached up to get the napkins, "You're our guest, relax," he told her bringing his hand down to rest on her waist. "We'll find a little time later, Danny promised," Jamie whispered.

"It's okay, this isn't that," Eddie replied still relishing in the feel of his hands on her. Danny's eye caught Jamie's subtle caress and kept assessing the situation to see if he could buy his kid brother time.

It was so obvious to Danny how in love the Kid was with Eddie, but no one else seemed to notice that. The focus shifted almost immediately to Camille, Danny could tell that was not sitting well with Eddie at all. She had gone from feeling at home to feeling like an intruder.

Danny watched Jamie, he was laughing with Max and Camille, she was a teacher, she knew how to draw kids out even babies, but the few times he saw Eddie holding Max, that was pure love in Eddie's eyes. She loved the boy as if he were her own, that was hard to do with such a short meeting.

"Max, look at this…" Camille was either in love with the boy or was going to use him to get to Jamie. Max wasn't playing shy with Camille…it stung, Eddie started to think about a graceful exit.

Her first attempt, sneaking out, was foiled pretty quickly. Jamie saw Eddie moving to get her purse and stepped over, 'You can't leave before cake, and it's good cake too, chocolate and vanilla…your favorite…"

Eddie sighed and nodded, agreeing it would be unlike her to miss out on cake.

After Happy Birthday had been sung and cake eaten, Eddie made her second attempt. This time she text Kara to give her a rescue call, but when it came in…Jamie appeared at her side again. She couldn't speak freely so she gave up.

Danny noticed the coffee urn was empty so he cornered his little brother, this could give Eddie her chance at escape, so Danny nudged Frank over to speak with her and keep her contained. "What the Hell are you doing?" Danny asked as soon as he got Jamie alone. "Flirting with that girl in front of Eddie, that's five shades of stupid!"

"Flirting, I'm not flirting…" Jamie replied. "She's a friend of Pops that has some interesting ideas about developing Max that's all. He's behind a little so.."

"Max is fine, he's normal," Danny snapped at Jamie. "He's a normal kid, that's a dumb pretext!"

"Not to me," Jamie defended. "Besides, Eddie is fine, I think it's getting late for her…"

"Eddie is not fine, Eddie feels like a fish out of water since Mary Poppins showed up. If you are planning to make a go of this Jamie, you better learn to read her better, otherwise you won't hold onto her or worse yet, you will and end up hurting each other."

Jamie sighed, "I don't see it."

"Then you," Danny replied. "My dear brother, are going to lose her."

Danny left the room for Jamie to contemplate his words. While Frank opened his presents, Jamie stood near Eddie, keeping his eyes on Max. It was getting late and it was almost past the boy's bedtime. Still, he seemed to be going strong and he earned himself a little bit of playtime being such a good boy during the party.

After gifts, Camille approached Jamie again, showing him articles on her phone about working with Max's speech and helping his intellectual strength develop. Jamie was intrigued by the interest Camille was taking in his son, except for one small thing.

Max was toddling around the living room while Jamie was engrossed in his reading. Frank was looking over his new presents and Henry was reminiscing with his old cronies. Eddie saw the boy dragging his blankie and rubbing his tired little eyes. She slowly approached the baby and smiled, "You tired Maxy? Let's go night night. Come on…"

Eddie scooped the baby up into her arms and carried him to his room upstairs. He laid his head down right away, he'd had a big night. Max began to fuss when Eddie tried to put him in the crib, so she sat down in the rocker with him tucked against her breast. Eddie began to softly sing as she rocked…

Tell me why the stars do shine,

Tell me why the ivy twines,

Tell me why the sky's so blue,

And I'll tell you why I love you…

Eddie's clear voice came over the baby monitor, causing the whole room to stop. You could hear a pin drop in the house that had just been bustling with birthday activities. Danny's eyes met Jamie's and he raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. Eddie's voice was so beautiful, so gentle and sweet. The room was so quiet that Jamie heard Max's little coos and sighs. "Excuse me," said softly to Camille then headed up the stairs. Danny got the party rolling again by offering a toast to his father and boss, Jamie switched the monitor to silent, this was his chance to talk to Eddie alone tonight and he didn't want an accidental audience.

Jamie peered into the nursery, Eddie was still rocking and singing to Max. He was holding onto her hair and humming a little himself. Jamie had never seen Max get this soft and gentle kind of love from Claudia. She would hug him or kiss him but that was about the extent of if, never took the time to provide the tender nurturing care that a baby needed. That was why Max wasn't as developed as other kids his age…but soon he'd have what he needed.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

Eddie was so engrossed with Max she didn't notice Jamie at first and when she did, she chose to keep focus on the boy and not on his Dad. "You're such a good little guy," Eddie whispered. "You are sweet and kind, no one would know that you had it rough for a bit right? You and me, we're the same kind, you know? Had it rough but try to keep our hearts on our sleeves. No matter what happens, Max, your old pal Eddie is going to be there for you. Even if things don't quiet work out with me and your Daddy."

Jamie stepped into the room then, "Eddie, what…" He began but she shushed him. "He's almost off, this poor baby was exhausted."

Eddie switched from talking to Max to singing again as the baby's eyes were finally closing. This time the lullaby was in Serbian, a sweet sound, though Jamie didn't understand the words, he knew it was sent with much love.

Eddie stood up once Max was down and gently put the boy in his crib. "Sweet dreams, Max…" Eddie kissed the baby's head.

Jamie was right behind Eddie when she stepped back. He slid his arms around her and pulled her to him. "I wanted to do this all night but the family…"

"And your new friend that must be an issue," Eddie replied trying to pull out of Jamie's arms. "You're almost a single man, Jamie. I understand…"

"Whoa, I am not a single man," Jamie corrected. "I am in a relationship with the most beautiful woman in the world. Just because we can't be together right now doesn't mean that I'm any less committed. Pop did that, because he doesn't know and he can't know yet. She has some interesting things about helping Max, and I was listening as a father with a teacher, that's all."

"Jamie, you are so damn blind," Eddie laughed. "I mean it, that girl is falling in your lap…you really don't see that?"

"No," Jamie shrugged. "No, I only have eyes for you, I love you, I don't care about anyone else. She might as well be a guy for all I see. I was only interested in what she had to say about Max." Jamie took a deep breath, "I should have seen it though, Danny saw it and you saw it. I should have seen it. I never want to hurt you, Eddie and I know I did, I can see in your eyes that I did." Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's hair. "I can never repay all you've done for me, the love, the loyalty…I can't ever, the least I can do is not hurt you." Jamie pulled Eddie in tighter and rocked her in his arms. "Give me a kiss…"

Eddie tilted her head and gave Jamie a sweet kiss on the lips, putting all of her emotion into it. She wanted that kiss to linger on his lips, and her taste to linger in his mouth. Jamie had the same idea…the kiss they shared was full of love, desire, and plain old heat!

"Take it from me, Reagan," Eddie replied. "That girl is interested in Max's Daddy just as much as she is interested in Max. And, there's nothing wrong with Max. He is being a normal almost one-year old baby. He's a baby and I'm a little miffed with that woman's skinny behind implying that sweet little guy is anything less than perfect. You're a genius Jamie, Claudia wasn't and Max's donor wasn't either…he's just normal and that's okay."

Jamie pulled Eddie for another hug, "I love you," he said firmly but gently as he cradled her head in his hands. Jamie held Eddie's gaze, she didn't see him giving Mary Poppins that look. "There's no one else, I promise. There won't ever be. Let's go back down, and I'll see if Danny can get us a few minutes as the party dies down."

"I'd like that," Eddie replied. "I love you too. So much…"

Jamie gave Eddie another hug and quick kiss, he had to pull back as Jack was coming to find them. "People are starting to leave Uncle Jamie."

"We're coming Jack, we're coming."

The party died down until only the immediate family and Eddie were left. Danny saw Jamie's need for more time alone with his girl, but Frank had another idea. "Eddie, come here…" Frank opened his bear like arms and hugged the young woman tight. "Thank you so much for the books, I couldn't have chosen something more perfect myself."

"Thank you, S…Frank," Eddie smiled. "Jamie talked about your service all the time, he was very proud of you and Danny for doing that and making the sacrifice."

"Our family legacy is service," Frank replied smiling. "There's always a place in it for those with the same convictions."

Jamie watched as Eddie easily conversed with Frank. Having Camille in the house had really stressed Eddie out, that was uncomfortable for him, Jamie never wanted her to feel out of place, he knew how much that hurt.

"Kid," Danny nudged Jamie's shoulder. 'Did you want to show Eddie the car you and Sean made a few years ago?"

"Ah yes," Jamie smiled. "Yes, I did…"

Jamie gently took Eddie's elbow, "Eddie, remember the soap box derby…we still have the car…would you like to see?"

Jamie tugged, not giving Eddie a chance to say no. Danny and Frank's eyes met, Frank smiled, he was truly proud of how Danny stepped up for his brother.

Jamie led Eddie to the stocked garage and pulled her close to him. "I know you have to go soon, but I can't…let you…" Jamie began to rain kissed all over Eddie's face. She responded in kind, her hands moving over Jamie's chest readily.

"I don't want to go…I'm…" Eddie kissed Jamie back hungrily, tasting his essence and smiling brightly. "God, Jamie, I love you so much…"

"I love you," Jamie whispered. "There is no way in the world I would ever have eyes for anyone but you, Eddie. You hold my complete and absolute attention, so much I didn't even realize at first how much my talking to Pop's friend hurt you. I do not want you to hurt, never."

Eddie knew that, in her heart she knew it and snuggled closer to Jamie to let him know it. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay close…but that wasn't the way of life yet. "Next yet," Jamie replied. "Next year, we'll be together like this and everyone will know. I'll speak to Pop about this okay?"

"Don't upset him, we know each other, I trust you…" Eddie whispered. "Don't upset him."

"I won't but I have to see him about it…I can't let that get started or it won't end," Jamie replied. "I'll take care of it, I'll take care of you."

"Hmm, closets don't have as much room as garages...maybe we should keep that in mind for the future." Eddie batted her eyes at Jamie.

"Yes, ma'am," Jamie replied wrapping Eddie in a huge bear hug, then dipping her so her leg popped in the front. Jamie kept the kiss firm and deep, enough to last them until they were able to meet again.

Jamie headed back into the house, Henry was finishing up cleaning up the dishes. Jamie took a breath, Henry was formidable when he was wanting something. "Pop, what was that?" Jamie asked. "Bringing a girl my age over here like that? The ink on the papers isn't even dry."

"You're young," Henry replied. "And you aren't grieving your marriage, you shouldn't waste time and Camille is a nice girl."

"Yes, she is," Jamie replied. 'She's a very nice girl, but I'm not on the market for a girlfriend or anything. I know what I want and I'm going to take control of my life, me…"

"Jamie, you don't take control you let things slide," Henry replied. "You just let opportunities go right past you."

"Pop," Jamie said firmly. "I'm not doing that this time, I'm not interested in Camille, I'm not interested in dating at all right now. I know what I want out of this life and I am going to get it. Please do not bring more women around for this purpose."

Jamie was steadfast, and turned on his heel to leave the room. Erin had heard Jamie's exchange with Henry then watched him head upstairs. "He's in denial…he thinks love is just going to walk into his arm," Erin sighed.

"Camille is nice, she's pretty, and she likes kids, what's wrong wither her?" Henry ased slightly miffed that Jamie had taken him to task.

"Nothing, and she's probably the best pick for him too, but let's give him a little more time, we can always try again," Erin encouraged. "You're right, he doesn't participate in his life, just lets it happen. For now, let's at least let him get used to being divorced."

Henry grudgingly agreed to back off for the time being, Erin had a few ideas of her own for her little brother, but she'd wait, he had a lot of healing to do.

Jamie peaked in on Max, he was sleeping soundly in his crib. "You got rocked and loved tonight huh?" Jamie whispered. "Don't you worry little guy, Daddy's going to make everything all right, you'll see. Miss Eddie will be your Mommy and we'll be a family, just you wait and see."

Jamie kissed the boy's head, then went to lie down in his own bed. Jamie fell asleep seeing Eddie rock his son, singing like an angel. His dream had come true…at least for the night.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty Nine

May turned to June and spring turned to summer. Before Jamie realized it, it was time to celebrate Max's first birthday. Surprisingly enough, it was Frank that took the lead on that suggesting a family cookout with some of Jamie's friends. He rented a bounce house and got a man to come give pony rides to the kids in Max's daycare.

"Are you inviting Detective Janko and April?" Frank asked Jamie a few days before. "I didn't see you send her an invite?"

"I didn't, I sent her a text and she can come," Jamie replied. "She's going to get here around the same time as the others but she said she'd stay late so…"

"I have you," Frank smiled at his son. "Grandpa has Daddy's back huh?" Frank tickled Max.

Since Claudia was out of their lives, Max was developing a sweet and loving personality. He liked to give hugs and kisses, talk to his toys in his baby speak, and be tickled on the belly by grandpa.

April was growing as well. She was making noises, showing desire for certain toys, and prominent level of intelligence for an infant. Eddie was proud of her and Tom bragged about her nonstop. Eddie dressed her little one in a pretty pink jumper and white blouse and took the gifts she got Max before going into the car.

The Reagan house was buzzing with activity when Eddie and April arrived, Jamie was holding onto Max, who was amazed with all the colors and sounds. "Hey, there you go April girl…So cute in your little outfit." Jamie's eyes held Eddie's, they shared an intimate conversation without words.

"Hi," Jamie murmured. "Welcome…"

"Hi," Eddie replied. "Thanks for having us…Happy Birthday Max! Big boy turning one!"

Max giggled and laughed, and studied April. He reached out to touch her, "Ba…"

"Yes, that's a baby, that's April…"

"Big boy!" Eddie beamed. "Let me get her walker so she can run a bit…where's the food line, I'm starved."

Jamie helped Eddie set up April's walker, she gladly chased birds, and scooted around with her mother at her side. "They are having a good time," Frank smiled watching the little ones playing. "Here you go, Eddie. Rare burger, pickles, and extra crispy bacon. Jamie told me."

Eddie smiled, "Thank you…he's so big already, he's going to be tall." She bit her burger, "Oh this is good. Thanks."

The party was in full swing, Jamie found himself near Eddie as much as possible. April wanted to get out of her walker and see what was going on with the big people. She banged her hands and squealed until Jamie took pity on her, "Come on, peanut…let's get you out of jail there." Jamie lifted April above his head and airplane her around. She giggled and smiled at Jamie, looking at his piercing blue eyes April pronounced in a tiny but perfect little voice. "Da Da…"

"What did she say?" Eddie asked. "April…Oh my gosh her first word…"

"Da Da," April said again as Jamie held her.

"She did, she said Da Da…" Eddie reached to take April. "Oh, I'm so proud of you!"

It didn't seem to faze Eddie at all that April called Jamie "Da Da." She was just so proud of her baby girl.

"She's got such a sweet disposition," Jamie smiled. "It's okay, Da Da works until you learn to say Jamie…" He gave April a little kiss on the head. "Come on little girl, let's find Max and play on the bounce house."

Eddie watched as Jamie bounced with the kids making sure April, the smallest of the kids, got a chance to play. "He's so great with the kids," Erin said to Eddie as she watched. "Max is the best thing that ever happened to Jamie."

Eddie sighed, "Children are a blessing, my little April is the light of my life."

Erin sighed, "She should be…"

Eddie rolled her eyes, Jamie's stuck up sister…She kicked off her shoes and joined Jamie and the kids on the bounce house.

Eddie put April down for her nap in Max's crib, "Sleep well little bit.' Eddie kissed April. "I'll hear her with this?"

"Oh yeah that works in the yard," Jamie replied. "She'll be fine, she'll sleep like an angel…Now come here, I've been waiting to do this all day."

Eddie smiled and wrapped her arms around Jamie leaning into his kiss. They only had a few seconds, but they were going to make them count.

"Happy Birthday, dear Max…Happy Birthday to you!" The family sang an hour later. "Blow it out buddy…"

Max sat and stared at the candle for a bit, making Sean impatient. "Blow out the candle already…"

"Be patient," Linda scolded. "You only have your first birthday once."

"Yeah, the little guy's making a wish," Jamie replied but helped his son extinguish the candle anyway. The guests all clapped and Max blew a kiss, proud he'd done something to illicit the applause. Eddie helped cut and pass the cake as natural as she could be with the kids. Here you go April…yummies!"

April took a bite of the cake and got most of it on her shirt and in her hair. "You're such a mess Monkey,' Eddie laughed. "Can I take her and wash her up?"

"Sure, the bathroom off the kitchen," Linda replied, 'She's so adorable."

Eddie cleaned April up then brought her back to the party. "Ask her?" Jamie replied to a question Linda had asked.

"Ask me what?" Eddie asked. "Go on baby…" She put April on the blanket near Max.

"How you picked her name, it's a lovely name."

"Well she's April Sarah, that's my grandmother's name, Sarah and April…The month of April holds a very special significance in my life, and I wanted the most special person to have a name for that."

Eddie's eyes met Jamie's, they smiled at each other, knowing smile, like they each had a secret.

Jamie tried to get Eddie alone after that comment to Linda about April's name, he wanted to know if his suspicions were correct, but Max had other ideas. Frank had brought out the presents and the baby took off after then full speed.

Jamie laughed and chased his son to the presents piles and helped him open the gifts. Eddie watched Jamie with his boy, so glad they were happy and together. When she thought of that precious baby's first months it turned her blood cold. That's why she hoped that her gift would help.

"This is from Ms. Eddie…" Jamie read and helped Max open the box. "Goodnight Bear…" The bear was dressed in a little police uniform and a gold shied like Jamie wore, but when Max would hug it, Eddie's lullaby would play. Max hugged the toy immediately and Eddie's voice came out singing the soft Serbian song that Max had loved the night of Frank's party.

Eddie had also gotten Max his first little suit and tie, and a couple of cloth books. "Oh, we don't have these yet, go say thank you."

Max toddled to Eddie and gave her a watery kiss. "You're welcome little guy."

Jamie laid Max down in his crib while April was sleeping in Eddie's arms. "He loves that bear to bits," Jamie smiled.' His best gift…"

"Not his best…I thought about what you said about Max, and I think he's perfect and he'll be all right but if he's not, or if he wants something special…I left $50,000 in a trust account for him. You can draw on it…"

"Eddie," Jamie began but she shook her head. "No, there are things worth more than money, happiness, friendship, love…and I love you and this boy so much. Please take it…"

Jamie closed the gap between them quickly and kissed Eddie with abandon. For that moment, it didn't matter that someone might come upstairs and see, he loved Eddie with all his heart and soul. "Not much longer now…"

"Too long," Eddie replied "Far too long I miss you so, Jamie. I miss you so much."

Jamie took a sleeping April and laid her in the crib with Max. "I know…I miss you too. I know…" Jamie stroked Eddie's hair. It was harder for her than for him now. He missed her with all he had, but he was free, Eddie was still trapped and unhappy. That was hard for him to take, he didn't' want anything but her happiness.

Hands, lips, and tongued intertwined as the two lovers explored. Each time they kissed it was like being wrapped up in an old favorite robe and opening a new gift on Christmas all at the same time, the warmth of the familiar…the excitement of the unknown.

"I better be going," Eddie whispered when she pulled back from Jamie. "Uh, text me later or tomorrow like always and we'll see…hang on."

Eddie smiled at Jamie and took April from the crib, "Eddie…her name…it's what I think it is right? The reason…"

Eddie nodded, "Yes, I wanted to name my daughter after my favorite month, and it's that because of you, because of us. It's so special, those moments and when I say her name. I remember. And I smile."

"It's a beautiful smile," Jamie replied. 'Let me know you got home okay."

"I will," Eddie replied and headed downstairs with Jamie behind her. "Say goodbye April," Eddie told the baby. She looked around with sleepy eyes, fixed on Jamie, "Da Da…"


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

It was a Wednesday in mid-july when Jamie grouched into his father's house after picking Max up from daycare. The last three weeks had been very hard on both Jamie and Eddie. They had kept in touch via text and email but three times they had tried to see each other and three times one of them had to cancel at the last minute. It was getting to both of them, Jamie through anger and Eddie…she was so very sad.

She sobbed on the phone to Kara two nights ago about how much she hated her life and didn't want to keep playing this game. It broke Kara's heart to hear her like that, she got Danny on phone to see what they could do.

"I can't help like that, I'm on a huge case, but I'll see what Dad can line up for us, he says the Kid has been unbearable to live with," Danny replied. "I'll be in touch."

Danny contacted Frank and the two of them put their heads together. "They can have a night here, I'll have it catered, Italian…and we'll get Pop out of the house to his poker game."

"They both need it Dad, Kara said Eddie cries a lot and that's not like her at all, it's got to be hell on them, Dad."

"Leave it to me Danny, we'll get them together," Frank replied and began his plan.

Frank called in a few favors and got Eddie's schedule from the Nassau PD then crosschecked it with Jamie's. Linda then agreed to babysit Max on the selected night, then they ran into a problem. Kara couldn't watch April until 10.

"It's okay," Frank told Danny. "I'll keep her, and I can hand her off to Kara then go and meet Pop..Gormley will keep him busy until I get there."

"You are going to babysit Eddie's baby?" Danny asked. "She's still so little."

"Little and smart," Frank replied. "Speaking as deliberately as Jamie did at that age, she'll be walking very soon too as soon as her body catches up with her mind. Da Da…She's so advanced already, but she's a tiny thing."

Danny hung up laughing at the idea of his father, the PC playing with Eddie's infant daughter. Still if it helped his brother and his friend…so be it.

The day Frank selected, Jamie was in a particularly bad mood, so he agreed quickly to a beer and a game with his father, and to Linda keeping Max. Once Jamie was settled on the sofa, Frank put his plan into action sending a simple text to Eddie's phone, "Jamie needs you…"

As soon as Eddie's phone flashed with that message she sprang into action, first calling Kara about babysitting April. When she was told that she couldn't watch the girl until later Eddie texted back, "Is he okay? I can't get a sitter?"

Frank's reply, "He will be, but he needs you. I raised four kids, I can handle little April."

That was good enough for her, Jamie must be sick or hurt for the Commissioner to send for her like this. Eddie combed her hair, grabbed April's things for the night and headed out.

"Come on," Jamie groaned as his team walked another batter. "It can't get any worse…" Jamie looked up to see Frank setting up the dining room table with candles, his best bottle of red wine, and the fine china. "Dad, what are you doing? I though we were hanging out tonight? You have a date?"

Frank shook his head, "Nope, but you do. Eddie will be here in about fifteen minutes."

"Eddie?" Jamie's eyes lit up the second Frank said her name. "But how…"

"Son, I know you too well and I hear Eddie's been struggling too, I care about you both,I know it's a matter of time and legality for the two of you, I can babysit April for a bit then make sure Pop stays out past midnight."

Jamie smiled and ran upstairs to change into something he knew Eddie liked. He splashed on her favorite cologne and was waiting when she rang the bell.

"Jamie are you all right?" Eddie rushed him with April on her hip. "Your father…"

Jamie smiled, "My father is playing cupid tonight. I'm fine, he just needed a way to get you here. He ordered dinner and he says he'll watch April, we have the house to ourselves."

Eddie sighed in relief, not only was Jamie okay but they were finally going to get to spend some time together. Eddie walked up to Frank and stood on her tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, "this is so sweet of you."

"I know what it's like to be in love," Frank replied. "And I know what it's like to not be with the one you love, now let me have this beautiful girl. We're going to have fun huh?"

April cooed at Frank and looked over at Jamie, "Da Da…" Jamie broke out laughing. "Does she do that at home?"

"No," Eddie replied. "At home her favorite word is Momma but here she'll say Da Da. That's too cute!"

Eddie quickly went over April's likes and dislikes with Frank, then sent him off with her. The moment that Frank was out of the house and had secured April in the SUV, Jamie and Eddie fell together, holding one another tight. "Are you okay?" Jamie asked Eddie. "Some of you texts were really short, I was worried about you."

"I'm okay," Eddie replied. 'I'm okay now…I…" Eddie held tight to Jamie, she'd ached for this,to be in his arms again.

Jamie rocked a little bit, trying to soothe Eddie, but it was hard. He'd missed her so badly, they both ached to hold each other daily, Jamie, for the time being, was just handling it better.

"You feel so good," Jamie whispered into Eddie's hair. "So good…"

Eddie smiled softly, "You…oh…Jamie…"

They stood there for five minutes just hugging. They didn't even kiss, just held fast to each other. Finally, with tears running down both their cheeks, Jamie lowered his head, Eddie raised hers, and their lips met with an intensity even they didn't realize they possessed.

Jamie hoisted Eddie up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. He was already hungry for her and she for him. Eddie felt the little ball of nerves at top of her sex straining to get out and connect with Jamie's body. It felt like Jamie's hands were everywhere, in her hair, on her breasts, running down her back, still suspended from his body Eddie never felt so safe.

"Where?" Eddie gasped out. "I need…"

"I know, baby," Jamie replied. "I know…uh…" Jamie lowered Eddie to the large area rug in the family room. He new this rug had seen a thing or two in it's day. Jamie pulled Eddie's blouse open so the buttons scattered across the room. Eddie pulled at Jamie's pants, pushing them down with his boxers. Jamie kicked the clothing away, glad to be free. His hands made short work of Eddie's pants and undies, her little moans exciting him more and more.

Jamie buried his face in her breasts, his mouth searing the flesh. He took her nipple into his teeth and slowly bit down. "Ah…" Eddie cried out. "Ah…oh…Jamie…Jamie…"

"Ssh," Jamie murmured leaning up to silence her cries. "I'm here…I'm right here…"

Jamie's lips found her other breast and his hand the pulsating nubbin between her thighs. Eddie was already fully prepared to take him into her body, her hips gyrating up and down in silent but urgent need. Jamie slid his hand up and down, forcing Eddie to cry out again…they had been holding this back for a long time and their passion was running over.

"Take me now!" Eddie finally demanded when she could no longer stand the pleasure pain inflicted on her body. "Now, Jamie I need it…"

Jamie smiled down at Eddie, tears running out of her eyes in desire. "Open wider…" Jamie whispered leaning on his elbows as Eddie let her legs fall apart to accommodate him.

Jamie pushed in hard and fast as Eddie pushed back to meet him. Jamie's hips slammed against Eddie's, but still, even in the heat of their unbridled passion, their eyes locked and their lips met as each other their bodies gave into the other. "I love you," Jamie murmured softly. "I love you so much."

Eddie wasn't capabale of speech, she gave a little moan to answer as her body clamped around his again and again. Jamie was the only one that could do that to her. The only one she ever wanted to have do that to her ever again.

Jamie rolled to the side and pulled Eddie close to him. Eddie tucked herself into Jamie's shoulder and sighed. "That was…" Jamie began.

"Yes" Eddie answered, there were no words for that. "I think I felt the earth move…"

Jamie kissed Eddie' head, "I know I felt my heart soar. Are you okay? I…"

"I'm perfect, don't worry,' Eddie replied lying still in Jamie's arms. "Just hold me a little tighter right now okay?"

Jamie was happy to oblige.

Jamie held Eddie close, stroking her arm and shoulder up and down gently. Their breathing had settled down to a normal rate again. Eddie wiggled a bit so she could prop herself up on her elbow and look into Jamie's eyes. "I was a little scared when you started to move so hard and fast," Eddie confessed. "I was really worried about how you'd take it, but…you seemed to be fine with how fast things moved for us this time. I'm so glad, Jamie. I'm so glad you felt safe with me."

Jamie pecked Eddie's cheek, "I always should have. I never should have let the awful thing Claudia was doing to me and with me affect you."

"Jamie it was a terrible experience for you, for months after Jake…" Eddie began. She never confessed this to anyone, not even Jamie. "For months after Jake attacked me, I couldn't," Eddie replied. "I couldn't let any man touch me but you, not even for a pat on the back. I was repulsed. I understood it then, I understand it now. I'm just so happy that you feel…"

"I do…I've always felt safe with you, Eddie," Jamie whispered. "Always and forever I've felt safe with you." Jamie kissed Eddie gently, "You hungry? Dad put out a heck of a spread there."

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, but can you hold me a little longer? Please hold me just a little longer."

Jamie nodded, pulling her even tighter to his side, surrounding her with his love.

When Jamie asked again about eating, Eddie responded she needed to be held longer still. "Look at me," Jamie replied. "Look in my eyes."

Eddie lifted her face to meet Jamie's gaze, "I knew I saw…What's wrong, I can see it written all over your face. I'm sorry I didn't take the time before…"

Jamie was surprised not shocked when Eddie began to cry. "I'm sorry," she hiccupped. "I'm so sorry, I…"

"Hey, it's all right, baby, it's all right…" Jamie rocked and held Eddie tight. "Ssh…don't cry. Don't cry, I'm right here…"

Eddie sniffled, "For how long? Jamie, you're free now and I'm so glad you are because that woman was hurting you, but me…I'm…"

Jamie didn't push, he let Eddie feel and work her way through what she had to say. "I'm so depressed, Jamie. I don't…I'm so happy you are okay, I am…but I feel like you are moving on and I'm just treading water and I can't keep up."

Jamie sighed and held Eddie closer, "You can, it's not too much longer now honey. We will be together, we'll make our family, I swear to you, we will. Please don't hurt, please don't…"

"I can't help it," Eddie sighed. "It's a three bedroom prison with a bunch of extra rooms. It's not a home anymore, it never really was."

"No, no it never was," Jamie agreed. "Home is where you feel safe and loved, this is home for us both, right here in each other's arms and my arms aren't going anywhere without you. Okay? You know I speak the truth."

"I know you do," Eddie replied. "I'll try, I'll try tobe positive and feel better. I promise to try."

"Good," Jamie replied. "I hate seeing you like this, I love you and it hurts…"

Eddie nodded, "I know it hurts, I don't want us to suffer anymore tonight. Tonight is a gift…and that food does smell good."

Jamie ran a hand down Eddie's cheek, "There's my girl peeking out…You rest a few I'll heat everything up."


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty One

While Jamie and Eddie were enjoying time together, Frank was at the mall with April, pushing the little girl in her stroller. April was a highly intelligent and very vocal child, she would point and vocalize at all the different sights she took in. "Ba…" She pointed at a teddy bear. "Yes," Frank encouraged. "Bear, that's a Teddy bear…"

Frank stopped and got some ice cream, he fed the baby a little vanilla, but she made a face. "You don't like this. All my kids liked ice cream!" Frank finished the treat on his own then resumed pushing the child.

April cried for a new diaper an hour into their trip. Eddie mentioned she hated being wet or dirty at all. Detective Nucifero looked at his boss, "She's wet, Jimmy…I've changed thousands of diapers…"

Frank rolled up his sleeves and took April into the family restrooms to be changed. The little girl cooperated so well holding her feet and staying still. "You are much easier to change than my Danny, yes you are…" April smiled, she knew she was being complimented.

With April secure again Frank continued his stroll until he saw the carousel. April babbled and pointed, "Oh you like the pretty horses? Aren't they so nice?"

April kept up her little chatter, pointing and looking at Frank's eyes. "Okay, you win, but I have to hold you."

Frank took April to buy a ticket for the ride and securely tied the girl to her horse. When the ride began, April looked scared at first, then her face turned into a smile. Frank stood beside the little girl holding her safely on the horse while it moved up and down to the carousel music.

Frank took April on the ride three times, the baby liked it more and more each time. When Frank finally was ready to leave, the ride attendant asked. "Would you like a picture of your granddaughter with you on the ride?"

Frank's first instinct was to deny April as his granddaughter, but before the words left his lips the small girl laid her head down on his chest and gave a contented baby sigh, one of Franks favorite baby sounds. "Yes," he told the teen that was manning the ride. "Yes, I would."

Frank got two copies of the picture, one for himself and one for Eddie. He secured April back in her stroller only to have her cry out. Frank smiled and sat on a bench with April in his arms, he rocked slowly until her little eyes closed in sleep. Frank vowed to spend more time with Max in that moment, times like this were just too sweet. He was missing out, life was too short to do that.

"That was good," Eddie declared as she leaned back in her chair at the dining table. "Do you think anyone else ever ate nearly naked at this table?"

"I do not want to think about that," Jamie chuckled. "But I do know that my parents used to dance on this floor here…they would get a little tipsy, hold each other close, it was something to watch."

Eddie smiled sadly, "You could hear the hurt…in your father's voice when he talked about her, missing her, you could actually hear the hurt. He deserves love too."

"He does, Dad never looked at another woman after Mom died. Never, at least not in the same way as he did her," Jamie confessed. "I know I couldn't if…"

"I know…" Eddie replied gently. "Me neither, I know…"

Jamie leaned over the table and kissed Eddie's lips, "Let's get this cleaned up."

Jamie and Eddie cleaned up the kitchen then returned to the living room. Jamie held Eddie on his lap and snuggled her close. "How long do I have you?" Jamie asked.

"Until midnight maybe," Eddie replied. "Kara is keeping April over, so until before your pop gets home."

"Then we have a long time," Jamie laughed. "He's at his poker game."

Jamie pulled out his phone, "I made a playlist…"

"Oh, you did," Eddie teased. "And what is that playlist of?"

"Eddie…" Jamie replied showing her the music setting entitled "Eddie."

Jamie hit the play button and Wonderful World was the first song to play softly on the device. "It was no coincidence that this song played in Montana, and it's no coincidence it played that night we first danced together…I love you and I want to…"

"Ssh..." Eddie whispered. "You make my world wonderful Jamie, that's why it's so hard to leave you, for us to be separated…"

"We aren't now, let's take this moment, Eddie, let's hold it in our souls and in our heart…It will see us through."

They swayed to the music and held close to each other. Jamie's lips softly kissing and nuzzling Eddie's cheek and neck, holding her as gently in his arms as if she were a baby. Their mating earlier had been pure need, lust as well as love, it had been a ritual of two bodies connecting…this time, this union would be for their souls.

Eddie's lovely curving form nestled close against Jamie as he carried her from where they danced on the same place his parents had to his bedroom. They would make love there, on a soft pillow top surface. Jamie laid Eddie down gently, and carefully removed her clothing from her body once more. Jamie simply laid down beside Eddie for a few moments. Eddie's soft thigh was snug between his, and one tender arm was across his chest.

Jamie raised Eddie's chin with his forefinger and placed his lips against hers. The kiss began gently without pressure. Jamie's mouth lightly caresses Eddie's softly parted lips. Jamie's arms loosely held Eddie to him, he wanted this to be about their love now, not their bodies.

Jamie smoothed her hair and drew his mouth along the line of her jaw. Jamie's parted lips touched Eddie's but only briefly. Eddie felt the thunderous beating of his heart against her naked breasts and the trembling in his arms.

Eddie pressed against Jamie and lifted her face to meet his kiss, her lips parting as his mouth possessed hers. Jamie's hand slid down her back, pressing her hips tighter against him. Jamie caressed her with his lips and stroked her with his slightly rough palms. Eddie's hands found their way along Jamie's body, her fingertips moved over his lean ribs to his muscled waist and down his side to hair-roughened thighs. They explored the muscles of his back and shoulders before combing through the soft hair on his chest and resting at the base of his throat. Their breaths merged and became one as his parted lips sought and found hers once more.

The naked hunger the caught and held the was both sweet and violent. Eddie felt his hand sweep away the only clothing left on her body, the tattered blouse until her nipples were buried in the soft hair of Jamie's chest. When Jamie lifted Eddie's legs of his thighs, her hand moved down to close around him. She felt the jolt that passed through him at her touch. A low growl came from Jamie's throat and his hand moved over the flat place of her stomach and into the curly down at the top of her legs. Gradually his fingers slipped into the dark, velvety softness. Eddie cried out at the intense pleasure his sliding fingers evoked.

For a long moment, they held each other. When Jamie took his fingers away Eddie knew an empty ache that only he could fill. Jamie gently turned her on to her back, came between her legs, and settled his hips into the cradle formed by her thighs. He kissed her without hurry.

Eddie's answer was little jerking movements of her hips. Jamie entered a little way into her and there he stayed and kiss Eddie's swollen lips, licked them, nibbled at them. Every stroke of his tongue sent fire running wildly along Eddie's nerves from her nipples to her sex, Eddie was helpless to do anything but feel and lift her hips and move her hands down his body to his taunt buttocks to hold him to her.

Jamie had never been so close to heaven. He lay mouth to mouth with his love feeling the most wonderful of all touches. "Jamie, oh Jamie…" When Eddie murmured his name, he lost the remnant of his control and thrust. A low, rough groan burst from Jamie's throat as he hot moist flesh closed tightly around him and they were locked in love.

"Eddie…sweet Eddie," Jamie whispered as he pulled back and sank deeper into her.

"I love you," Eddie breathed against his mouth. "Oh, I love you."

Jamie's hips jerked in response, there was no way to keep them still. A love so intense flowed over him that it reduced everything else to insignificance. Mind blowing pleasure washed over Jamie in great waves as his life-giving fluid pumped into her.

"Oh, Jamie it feels so good…" Eddie purred stretching and meeting his body's ever thrust.

"We fit like we were made for each other, so perfect…" Jamie sighed.

Eddie whimpered wanting to keep their connection, Jamie had never known such a flood of tenderness and love as when his name came from Eddie's lips again. Her hips tilted to take all of him; her fingers dug into his buttocks as little spasms inside her pulled him, hugged him, caressed him.

Eddie fell into a deep sleep almost immediately after Jamie withdrew from her and turned on his side. Eddie lay on her back, her bent knees over his firm thighs that were snug against his bottom. They had become one again…in this place, his room where he'd dreamt of mating like this with his one true love, and Eddie was, his one and only love…. he just had to make sure she kept believing it.

Frank dropped April off with Kara just after ten. "She's eaten, she's had two new diapers, and she is chewing on her hand so I got a teether for her but I didn't have a place to freeze it."

"Thank you, Sir," Kara replied. "Come on sweetie pie. Did you have fun with the Commissioner?"

Kara disappeared inside, and Frank headed to the precinct to join the poker game and insure that Henry stayed out past midnight. Frank got there just in time, Henry had cleaned the clock of nearly everyone at the table and the game was beginning to break up.

"Well you haven't had a go at me yet," Frank replied. "Let's go a few more hands…a few more hands."

Many of the men that worked there were still on Frank's payroll, so they had no choice, but to stay at least for a little while. Henry got a greedy little smile on his face, "Dealer calls Francis…"

Frank began to deal the cards, "Name of the game is five card draw, jacks or better, nothing wild…"

Frank knew he'd live to regret this moment, good thing he loved Jamie…


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty Two

Two hours passed and Frank, Gormley, Baker and Garrett had moths flying out of their wallets, Henry cleaned their clock. Thankfully though the games had lasted until after midnight, more than enough time for Jamie and Eddie to have had their time together and have Eddie sneak out of the house.

Frank was surprised when they pulled up in front of the house and Eddie's car was still there. "Uh, Pop…I'm really tired, so I'm going up right away. You good?"

"I'm tired too, my pockets are heavy….so very heavy…" Henry headed directly to his room. Frank waited to see if he could hear Jamie. He heard nothing so he pushed Jamie's door open gently and saw his boy, arms around Eddie, both sleeping with a peace that only being with your true love could bring. Frank left a quick note for Jamie to see him when he woke, they would find a way to get Eddie out before Pop could see.

Jamie woke up a few hours later and found the note, he held Eddie tight in his arms and thought of their words, of her tears, he couldn't sneak her out of the house like a booty call. Danny would bring Max back at eight, Frank and Henry could watch him while he made sure he treated Eddie like the love of his life.

Jamie crept down to Frank's room, "Dad…" Frank was still awake, unable to sleep with Eddie in the house.

"Jamie, I thought…" Frank began.

"I know,' Jamie sighed. 'I know but…Dad, she cried her heart out tonight and I just…she's so depressed, she feels like I'm moving on without her, she hasn't been sleeping, she fell asleep in my arms and she is…"

"Still sleeping with the safety of your arms," Frank replied. "I know…okay, I'll help you son, tomorrow after Max comes home, Pop and I will take him out and you can…"

"Take Eddie to breakfast at the diner," Jamie finished. 'We do it in Montana, special pancakes, I'd like to do that for her."

Frank smiled, "Okay, I'll handle it for you, but I can't buy you much past ten all right? As for her depression, reassure her, hold her close, show her your love, in your line of work…"

"I know, Dad," Jamie replied. "I know how precious life is, I do know."

Jamie kissed Eddie awake a little after eight, stroking her hair and her face.. "Rise and shine, pretty girl," Jamie murmured.

"Oh…I don't want to move" Eddie sighed stretching. "I'm so comfy." Then Eddie realized the sun was up, "Oh no! Oh my God, I can't…"

"It's okay, Dad and Pop took Max out, and you and I are going to breakfast before you go pick up April. Give that little bundle a big kiss from me okay?"

"I will, let me make myself presentable and I'm all yours," Eddie replied.

Jamie reached out and held her tight, "You're always presentable to me, so beautiful." Jamie stole a few kisses before Eddie got up to get dressed.

They took Eddie's car to the pancake house. They didn't have chocolate chip mint but they did have peanut butter. Eddie smiled and ordered a double stack with ham. Jamie smiled, "Good honey, you're eating…" Jamie reached for her hand.

"I want you to be in touch more when you are feeling so sad," Jamie encouraged. "Please…"

"Jamie, I can't just call you whenever. I…I want to and that's part of it, the other part though is…Have you seen her again? That woman from your Dad's party?"

"No," Jamie said quickly. "No she was just some friend of Pop's, she's nothing. I haven't seen her and I won't, I promise you I won't."

Jamie took Eddie's hand and kissed it, "We are going to be together, we have to go slow and bide our time, but we will. I talked to Pop, I laid down the law, this won't happen again okay?"

Eddie nodded, "Okay…" Eddie touched her forehead to Jamie's and sighed. "I don't' want to leave, I just want to run away and…"

"I know, but we have our little ones and they need us," Jamie reminded her. "Let's get together with them soon to play…that could be fun and they'll make friends…"

Eddie smiled, she liked that idea, bonding time for what would be a family of four.

Jamie was going to take the subway back to the house, he stood with Eddie in his arms for a while outside the restaurant. "I hate letting you go when I know you are so sad."

"I know but I do feel so much better now after our time, maybe we try once a month, even if we can't make love, we can hold each other?"

"Always," Jamie whispered. "Always, I'll talk to Dad and Danny, you talk to Kara, we'll work it…"

"Out," Eddie said with Jamie too. "We always do. I love you so much."

Jamie kissed Eddie gently, "I love you…always. My one and only, I promise. My one and only…"

Jamie was more diligent in texting Eddie and keeping in touch. He sent her little pictures of Max enjoying his bear and playing with his toys, with notes from the boy…those made Eddie smile. She would reply quickly and always seemed upbeat. It was only a week after their romantic rendezvous when Jamie felt the urge to see Eddie and put his arms around her. He sent a text to Eddie, "Please bring a second copy of Max's trust fund papers…and wear that cute denim skirt…"

Eddie replied back with a smiley face and a selfie of her in the skirt.

Meanwhile, Henry was busy at the house setting up a very romantic evening. He had cooked the meal himself, and had it holding warm in the over. He had purchased the best champagne and had it chilling on ice. Henry had even used his poker winnings to purchase new candles.

When Jamie arrived home with Max in his arms, he smelled the Beef Wellington and au gratin potatoes, Jamie smiled, it was about time Henry made a move on his pretty girl. He knew he spoke to her twice a week. "Looks like you and I have to spend the night upstairs, buddy. You want to play with your new bear."

"Bear,' Max announced then started to sing the little song that was recorded on the bear. He sang it nearly perfectly in tune, he just couldn't execute the words. "Hey that's so good baby boy!"

Jamie smiled and sat on the floor to play with Max while he waited for Eddie to arrive in just over an hour. What Jamie didn't know was that the entire meal and romantic scene was not for Henry, but for him and Camille.

Camille arrived at 6:30 sharp in a green dress with her curly hair pulled off her neck. "Thank you so much Henry for this…I think Jamie is so handsome and that little boy…Are they home yet or…"

"They are upstairs, but I'll watch Max for him so you two can get acquainted. I'll just call him down…" Henry moved to the stairs. "Jamie, come down please…"

Jamie picked up Max and headed downstairs, "Hey Pop thought you were having…"

Jamie paused when he saw Camille, "Oh Pop…You promised to.." But Henry was not listening he already took Max in his arms and ushered Jamie over to the table. Henry handed the baby off to Camille then pulled Jamie's chair out. "I know I did but I know better so have a seat, have a drink…be merry."

Henry took the baby back, "Enjoy…" He almost scampered off to the kitchen to keep an eye on the meal from there.

"Listen, Camille…" Jamie began and turned to look directly at the young woman. What he didn't know was Eddie had arrived to drop off the papers and walked into the house through the open front door. She was so happy to be in this space again so soon, it held very precious memories from just a week ago. The smile on her face bright, her eyes sparkled with warmth. Eddie felt a safety in Jamie's arms that was unparalleled, she couldn't wait to recapture that again. Today at least they could hold one another, for a second, for a minute…but…

Jamie's back was to the door at first, he was holding Camille's gaze tightly, trying to explain to her this was his grandfather's idea not his and he didn't want any part of it. She dropped her head, shaking it as if embarrassed. Eddie saw this as a flirtatious move…the pain in her chest made her cry out.

There were candles and wine, soft music, the air smelled of Chanel No. 5, a scent Eddie knew drove Jamie crazy. The candle light flickered and made Camille look angelic, her alabaster skin and soft curly hair did make for a lovely vision. Camille! Eddie couldn't believe what she was seeing!

Jamie was in the same chair he sat in the week before and Camille was in the chair she had occupied. It was bad enough that Jamie was doing this, but to invite her over to rub it in…that hurt like nothing else, even confirming Tom had a mistress hadn't ripped at her soul like this.

As Jamie spoke to Camille in the soft tone she thought he reserved for her, her eyes sparkled, it was as if she were watching two lovers hold one another's gaze…that was supposed to be her that he whispered to like that. It was all supposed to be for her. The lying bastard! Eddie sobbed hard, she almost fell to her knees but the strength inside of her kept her on her feet. She had to get out, she had to escape.

Jamie turned at the cry and saw Eddie standing there, her face white and crumbling before his very eyes. "Eddie…Eddie, I…"

Eddie backed up, running as fast as she could. Eddie slipped on the stairs, but got up quickly and ran to her car. She looked back once as Jamie chased her, tears running down her face, betrayl seeping out of her features. He'd done it again, he promised and he'd done it again…this was the last time. It really was!


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty Three

Jamie stood out on the road staring off after Eddie's car, he turned around after a few minutes and headed back inside. "Camille," Jamie said to the shocked young woman. "I am so sorry, I have to go..I…this was my grandpa's idea like I said and I do not…I'm sorry, I have to go."

Jamie grabbed his keys and started off after Eddie, "Where are you going young man?" Henry asked as he stepped out of the kitchen. "You have a lovely date…"

"I'm going to go get my life back,' Jamie replied and all but ran to his car to try to find Eddie.

Eddie pulled over as soon as she felt it was safe and dialed Kara's phone. Kara picked up, "Hey girl..Eddie? Eddie what's happened?"

"He…He's with…Jamie, he's with that girl…the one I said from Frank's party, having dinner…and he…"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Kara soothed. "Calm down, you know it was probably his grandpa, you know how he is…"

"He was looking right into her eyes," Eddie sobbed. "It was like the dinner Frank made for us, only with her. He had me come out there on purpose, Kara. On purpose to end us like that…why…"

Eddie's sobs ripped at Kara's heart, "Come over, we'll sit and talk it out, okay? I'll get rid of Matt, or he can go upstairs…"

"No, if he comes looking for me he'll look at your house first," Eddie sniffled. "Im just going to go home. I'm going to go home and see if I can save the relationship I should have been concerned with all along."

Eddie's phone beeped, it was Jamie calling her cell. "He's calling me…I'm…I'm going home, I'll text you later okay. I love you Kara."

"Love you too," Kara replied. "Be safe, okay. You're so upset, please be safe."

Eddie assured her friend she was simply going home then headed off toward Manhasset turning Jamie's ring and text tone to mute. Jamie left a number of messages then he tried Kara. She was seething and waiting for him.

"What do you want?" Kara asked.

"I need to find Eddie, it was all a misunderstanding, Pop set me up and Eddie walked in, I invited her on a pretext, I just wanted to hold her and now…" Jamie rambled.

"Now, she's probably going to be in an accident because of you!" Kara snapped. "You had to invite her over to throw it in her face. You could have broken up with her through me, I could have held her hand and helped. Do you have any idea how close to the edge she is?"

"Yes, I do and this was not me!" Jamie demanded. "I invited her to come so I could hold her, just hold her cause I can feel how much pain she's in. She's slipping from me, Kara and now…Where is she going? Tell me!"

Kara sighed, "Listen, I have taken a lot of this journey with the two of you and this was as bad as the first time at O'Keefe's, the time you told her you were getting married, you have to understand and put yourself in her shoes. You hurt her again and deliberate or not, it looks like you invited her on purpose, to hurt her on purpose. You have to fix it, if you can…I can't help you. I'm her friend now."

It took a bit of doing but Kara finally told Jamie Eddie had gone home to Manhasset…Jamie put the car in gear and hit the gas.

Everytime Jamie pulled up to the mansion in Manhasset his stomach turned, this was something Eddie would lose when they made good on their promise to marry. She'd lose the comfortable lifestyle she had here. Jamie saw Eddie's car, it was in one piece…thank God. His hands shook as he rang the bell, hoping she'd be alone and he could talk to her, make it right.

Tom was rocking Eddie in his arms, "It's all right," he murmured. "It's all right sweetheart, it's all right…" Eddie had told Tom her upset was due to a rough day on the job, she did have one, but she could usually let those things roll…well she could if she was able to be held by Jamie. Now between a bad day and Jamie's betrayal she couldn't hide anything.

The doorbell rang, but Tom made no move to answer it. He had Eddie in a blanket and his arms, she needed his tending tonight, he'd even cancelled on Sue to be there, she was his wife after all. "Mr. Tom, it's Sergeant Reagan…he's here for the Missus."

"She's in no condition, send him away, tell him Mrs. Manning is ill this evening and cannot have any visitors," Tom instructed watching Eddie's reaction. She didn't have one, she didn't try to argue or anything at all, just sat complacent in his arms.

"Mr. Tom, he won't go, he says it's urgent he speak to Mrs. Manning, something about his son," Anita replied.

That got Eddie's attention, "Tom, I'll…"

"No, I will go,' Tom replied. "Put your feet up, rest, I'll handle it."

Tom went to the door where Jamie paced, "I'm so sorry, Jamie, Eddie's just not receiving anyone today. She's terribly distraught and I think you need to leave and come back another time."

Jamie sighed, "I'm very worried about her, Tom. I called her a few times and she didn't call me back, I…"

"She's fine," Tom said a little more firmly. 'Or she will be, she's home where she needs to be. She'll call you when she's feeling better. Good bye, Jamie." Tom firmly shut the door and headed back to Eddie. Jamie watched from the porch as Tom took Eddie's shaking form and held her tight. He had done that to her, he'd reduced her to that…he had to get her back no matter what.

Jamie drove home tired and defeated. He gave up trying to get Eddie that night, Tom was too close. Jamie went to take Max only to find the boy asleep in his crib. He went to his room and laid down, though there was no way sleep would come. His heart pounded and his hands were almost numb, panic attack…he had them with Claudia, now he was having it because of something he did.

Frank heard Jamie come in the house and waited until he heard him go into his room, "Okay, tell me what happened, pop's is beside himself, what happened here Jamie?"

"Pop is beside himself!" Jamie exploded. "No, Eddie is beside herself. She ran out of here because Pop set me up on a date, Dad. I told him and told him, it's my damn life! He had to butt into it!"

"Easy Jamie," Frank rubbed Jamie's back up and down. "Pop didn't know, I know you asked him but he's old and stubborn!"

"Yeah, and he cost me the love of my life. She won't take my calls, she's hysterical, I saw her through the window just…sobbing and it's my fault, well it's Pop's fault but she doesn't know that! I have never…"

"Calm down, Jamie," Frank urged. "Calm down, get a little rest and try again. Let her calm down too, nothing looks as bad in the daylight."

Jamie sighed, "I can't lose her Dad, I really can't lose her."

"I know," Frank replied. "I know, son. Try to rest. Do you want me to sit…"

"No, I'm good. Thanks, Dad."

Frank was reluctant to leave Jamie but he did once Jamie shut the light out and prayed for sleep to claim him.

Jamie tried Eddie for three days, she did not return his calls or his texts. Jamie couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he had to call out of work, he was so panicked. As a last ditch effort, Jamie sat down with a pen and pad to composed a letter.

 _Dearest Eddie,_

 _When I saw the tears on your face the other night, my heart broke. I promised you I would never hurt you, that your heart was safe with me, and I know it feels like I broke my promise, but I didn't._

 _I did not invite that woman to the house, Pop did. You saw me letting her down easy, she's a nice girl, but I have no feelings for her and I never will. I love you and only you. I know how hard it is for you to feel trapped, to feel left behind. You are not. I want to come to your house and carry you out, just make our family here and now._

 _I've been sick without you, Eddie. I need you like a drowning man needs oxygen, I need you so badly it hurts. I've called and texted a million time and if I have to, I'll sit on your doorstep and not move until you talk to me. We always worked things out, we always tried…_

 _Please don't let a misunderstanding ruin what we have. Our love was meant to be, look at all it has survived. I need you Eddie, Max needs you and we both love you so much. Please call me or text me, if not then write me back…But please don't let us go, we deserve our life together and I want it more than you can know._

 _I love you,_

 _Jamie_

Jamie sealed the envelope and addressed it to the Nassau PD. He didn't want to risk Tom finding the letter and bring more pain on Eddie. He already hated himself for what he did.

Eddie tried very hard at home over those few days. She was always a present mother, but she tried being a present wife. Tom would always have Sue, but she could at least be a good homemaker, put on a big smile, remember all the names of his friends. She could serve her role…but she could still not bring herself to make love with her husband. She held that vow close to her heart, she and Jamie made vows in Montana, just because he broke them…

Countless times, Eddie had tried to text Jamie, "Meeting me in Montana?" To see where she stood, if that was even an option for them, but the fear of his answer stopped her. She could not hear a rejection, not again! Even April's sweet innocent face could not keep the pain from becoming overbearing and overwhelming.

Five days after her ill fated visit to Jamie's, Eddie received his letter in the mail. He had gone all out, it even smelled like him. It took all Eddie had not to read it, but she had to accept that part of her life was finished and over now. She tore the letter to bits and threw it out. She had to move on, she could not look back, not for a second. Tom was her life now, April was her focus and Jamie Reagan…it was time that she let go of that dream.

"Francis, it has been a week since Jamie has spoke to me, that is very disrespectful and I want to know for sure what's gong on!" Henry demanded on Saturday morning.

"Pop, you meddled in his life when he asked that you not meddle in his life, Jamie's a grown man with a son of his own," Frank replied sipping his coffee.

"So, what's wrong with a little matchmaking?" Henry asked.

Frank wanted to reply that Jamie had found his match, but that was for Jamie to do.

Jamie was up in his room holding Max and his teddy bear playing the recording of Eddie's voice over and over again. The last time Frank saw Jamie this depressed was when they lost Joe and nearly lost Jamie in the process. He hadn't even been this way when Sydney left him or when Claudia beat him…his heart was broken in two and Frank's father's heart ached for his boy.

Still, he had to be firm.

"I don't get her, Dad, I call, I text, I wrote a love letter and she hasn't even responded, no hello, no how are you, no drop dead, nothing! Maybe she didn't love me like she said if she would…"

Frank cut Jamie off there. "Enough is enough now, Jamie You are acting angry with Eddie that she's mad at you. Think of how it looked, this is not about your intentions, Son, it's about perception. Think on this, how would you feel if Eddie invited you to her house for something, and you walked in to find her with Tom, her own husband, at a table where you just sat a week ago, for a romantic evening? How does that sit with you?"

"It would hurt like Hell, and I know it hurts her but if she won't talk to me, how can I fix it, Dad? I can't explain if she won't let me!" Jamie wiggled Max on his lap. "Maybe I should use this cute little guy?"

Frank stroked Max's hair, "Don't give him a job, he's a year old…No the person that started this mess was Pop and he's the one that has to fix it by going to Eddie and admitting it was all his doing."

"Yeah, but Pop doesn't know, he has no idea what he did other than ignore my wishes, which let's face it, Pop does routinely if he thinks he knows better."

"Then tell him, Jamie, go down there and tell him," Frank all but demanded. "Tell him what he did and ask him to make it right, you know he will."

Jamie looked at Frank and at his phone, Eddie's last selfie to him was his home screen. "All right I will, I'll do it."

Frank kept Max in Jamie's room while Jamie went to talk to Henry. "Pop," Jamie said with a sigh. "I have to tell you the truth about something, and I hope you won't be disappointed in me, but I have no choice. For the last two and a half years, while I was married and before she got married, I've been in serious relationship with Eddie." Jamie sat down. "We were very close before Claudia and I really blew it, I screwed up big time with her and I hurt her very very badly."

Henry sighed, "And I helped you hurt her again, she was the one you chased out of here…"

Jamie nodded, "I invited her over, she has been so depressed since I got the ball rolling for divorce and she is still stuck…She has to be careful, if she doesn't play her cards right, April is vulnerable and I could never do…what she did for me and I don't want he to lose her daughter if Tom plays rough. I just wanted to hold her, that's it, I wanted to hold her so I invited her over to bring papers for Max's school. She saw me telling Camille we could never be anything to each other and she hasn't answered my calls, texts, or letter for a week. I know she's hurting and I can't stand it's because of me. I need your help Pop."

Henry sighed, "You should have told me the truth before this, you two are a perfect fit you know. There are what 250,000 reasons to love that girl."

Jamie smiled, "250,000,000 maybe, she's everything to me and she's lost to me now. If you talk ot her, tell her I had nothing to do with it…"

"Let me get my coat, I'll go with you to her job, we'll talk to her and see if she forgives you."

Jamie smiled at Henry, "You're not upset I've been…"

"I'm just happy that you found love Jamie," Henry replied. "All I want for any of you, including your father, is your happiness. Now, let's try to fix this, shall we?

Jamie nodded, and smiled. With Henry on his side, he couldn't lose.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty Four

Frank made a call to get Eddie's schedule, she would be leaving the squad around 6 that night, Henry and Jamie set out early so they wouldn't miss her if they got caught in traffic.

When Eddie stepped outside her precinct that night, the last person she thought she would see was Henry Reagan. She half expected Jamie to show up at her job or her house if she kept freezing him out, but Henry shocked her a little. Eddie was angry with herself as she asked the old man as soon as he approached, "What's happened? Is Jamie okay? Is it Max?"

Henry hurried to assure her that all was well in that regard, "No, honey, it' all okay, they are okay, except of course Jamie's not eating and he's not speaking to me but that's my own fault. Please hear me out Edit."

Eddie sighed, "If he sent you to plead his case, it's a waste of time. I…"

"He didn't send me to plead his case," Henry replied. "Jamie is here and he wants to see you, but first I have to confess…"

Jamie watched as Henry gently spoke to Eddie, holding her arm in his, keeping her eyes on him. He was an old pro at getting out of trouble.

"I invited Camille over that night, I set up the dinner and I didn't tell Jamie a thing. Jamie came to me the night of Frank's party and asked that I not do this, that I not play matchmaker but I ignored him," Henry revealed. "I just wanted him happy, he was hurt so badly by Claudia I wanted him to be happy. He didn't tell me that he had found you, that he had your love…until today. He loves you and he's hurting for you now. I did this and I had to make it right, I had to say that it was not Jamie's fault. He wanted to hold you that day, so he asked you to come by, I didn't know…so please, at least talk to him just once more."

Henry's words softened Eddie's heart. If Jamie really didn't know, she was punishing him for something that wasn't his fault. Claudia did that, she would not be Claudia. "Okay…I'll see him…where…"

Eddie could feel Jamie's eyes on her, he was waiting for her to come to him. Jamie stood with his arms slightly open and tilted his head to the side. Eddie ached to run to him and be caught in his strength, cradled in his warmth but she had to hear from him as well that this whole thing was a mistake and it would not occur again. She had vowed he'd never hurt her again like he had when he pushed her away, she had to be sure that he really hadn't, if he did, no matter how badly it hurt…she would keep things as they were, for her own health, she had no choice.

Eddie walked to Jamie and stood in front of him. "Okay, talk…" She crossed her arms and waited.

"Did you get my letter?" Jamie asked. "I explained everything and…God Eddie I'm sorry…" Jamie moved to hold her but Eddie still stiffened.

"I tore up your letter," Eddie replied. "I couldn't…I…You promised me Jamie, we made a promise that we would only be with each other, that…we were going to make a family and…"

"And Pop…" Jamie sighed.

"I know, he told me and I know it was true but…" Eddie hiccuped. "You hurt me again, you promised me, Jamie. You promised me…"

"I know," Jamie replied. "I know and I ran after you and left her sitting there. I didn't even care, I just took off, you know I came to your house. I saw you crying in Tom's arms, that should have been me on that couch holding you while you cried. It should have been me."

Eddie softened a bit as she saw Jamie's internal angst, she hated that he might be upset, that was love after all, being hurt and not wishing that pain on the other. "Yeah, it should have been you. I wish it had been you…" Eddie stepped into Jamie's arms. "I wanted you to hold me that day too. Hold me now?"

Jamie sighed with relief and pulled Eddie into his arms flush against his body, "Oh God I love you…I'm so sorry you were hurt, I'm so sorry it was my fault again."

"Wasn't really, Pop didn't know, he told me you asked him not to do it and he did…I know he did it out of love too."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie' head, they were too close to her circles for him to do more than this, but holding her close was enough for him, sometimes a hug was the greatest for of intimacy.

Eddie kept her head on Jamie's chest, she didn't care then if someone saw, she would declare to the world they were making up, that they were in love. She had enough of waiting, thought she knew she still had to bide her time. Fourmonths more now and she too would be free.

"Tell me what it said" Eddie declared after a long tight hug. "The letter, tell me what you wrote in it."

"You really want to hear me grovel?" Jamie asked. When Eddie nodded with a smile he sighed, "I told you how I loved you, how I missed you and begged you to forgive me because it was not really my fault. I explained about Pop and his desire for Max to have a mother and the I told you again how much I loved you and needed you. I do Eddie, need and love you, so does Max."

"How is Max?" Eddie asked. "He was sneezing last time we spoke, you mentioned it."

"He's good, allergies I think he's okay now. Oh, I never told you, Max sings…"

"Sings?" Eddie cocked her eyebrow.

"Yes, he sings that little Serbian song, hits the notes dead on too, it's amazing. I think he might be a musician…" Eddie held Jamie's hands as he bragged a little on his son. Henry watched from afar smiling at the light in his grandson's eyes, the light only real love could ignite. Henry wasn't the only one though, from across the street…CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

His blood surged with glee as he captured yet another moment, the pay day was coming hard and fast…it was just going to be a matter of time before he would strike!

An hour later, Jamie carried Eddie into the small, but stylish hotel room that Henry treated them to. He felt horrible that he has caused so much pain and decided to pay a visit to his lady friend that lived near Eddie's precinct.

He and Jamie would meet again in a few hours to go home.

Eddie had her arms wrapped firmly around Jamie's neck as they kissed and held on another. They checked into the hotel as what they both hoped to be someday soon, "Mr. and Mrs. Reagan."

"I missed…" Jamie sighed as he took Eddie's mouth in a firm, determined kiss.

"I know, I know…" Eddie sighed. "I missed you, I'm sorry I…"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry…" Jamie replied as they worked off one another's clothing exposing each other's naked flesh. Jamie pulled Eddie close, pressing her to his body. This was going to be about her, he'd be sure of it. He needed to make her feel special, safe, and loved and she needed for him to make her feel that way.

Jamie laid Eddie down, "Hey I'll be right back…"

Eddie cried out her loss, she felt cold without Jamie there to hold her, she just got back where she needed to be.

Jamie returned with the hotel issue lotion and opened the bottle. Jamie rolled Eddie over so that her back was exposed to him. He smoothed lotion on her and began to massage it all into her skin. She was so tense that her flesh didn't even yield to his touch. Jamie began to rub with his thumb working to get into her muscles and relieve what had to be painful.

"What are you holding inside honey?" Jamie asked. "I know it's not just this, you had to know we'd work this out right?"

Eddie's breath shuddered at Jamie's attentions, "No, no I didn't. I thought…it was so awful Jamie. I really thought…I'm sorry I didn't trust you more, but it's so hard…I feel…"

Jamie leaned down and kissed Eddie behind her neck, "I know you do…We'll try harder that's all. We'll try harder."

Jamie continued to massage Eddie's neck and back, releasing knots then kissing it better…he spent almost and hour on her before turning her around and moving in to take her lips.

Eddie's arms came up and pulled Jamie to her. She wanted him, her body was excited, but more than that she just wanted to be held close and feel his love. Jamie knew that, he kept his touch soft, using just fingertips to explore and caress. His kisses were light and undemanding. Jamie held Eddie's wrists above her head, helping her totally submit to him and let him make her feel as special as she was in his heart.

Their love making was passionate, they never lacked that, but Jamie took care to ensure there was a tenderness and a love conveyed here that would sustain Eddie and him until they could see their way clear to meet again.

When it was over, and Jamie brought Eddie to her climax, he held her closer to him, letting her relax against him. Eddie spoke softly as she played with the hairs on Jamie's chest.

"I'm thinking about resigning from Nassau PD and putting in for an assignment with the Manhattan SVU squad," Eddie told him. "I have been for a while then…I changed my mind but now…"

"That's very dangerous Eddie," Jamie sighed. "Very dangerous. Why would you…"

Her eyes said it all, "For us to be closer, for us to have more time?"

Eddie nodded, "A lunch, a beer, a kiss in a closet…to get us through…"

Jamie smiled, "I'll worry, but I'm worried now seeing you like this. At least this way, if something did happy I could get to you…and…we do have more time." Jamie kissed Eddie' hair. 'I'll have a word with the Commissioner, I'm sure he can grease some wheels…"


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty Five

Frank agreed to ease the process of reintegrating Eddie to the NYPD, but even with his influence the transfer was going to require her resignation from Nassau and some retraining. Jamie wasn't at ease with this idea, he cherished the idea of having Eddie closer to him, but there was increased danger for her in Manhattan, and without him to back her…

Still, there was time to worry about that, for now, the thought on Jamie's mind was a picnic and playdate with Max, Eddie, and April. Eddie packed a picnic basket and met Jamie at the park behind his old apartment from when they were partners. Jamie held Max's hand as they walked toward the park, Eddie pushed April's stroller with the basket on top.

"Hey,' Jamie smiled and gave Eddie a warm kiss. "Look Maxy, look who it is…"

"De…" Max smiled and pointed at Eddie. "Be Be…"

"Yes, that's April," Jamie smiled. "Do you have a hug for Eddie?"

Max toddled and hugged Eddie with big open arms. "Hello, sweet boy," Eddie kissed Max's head. "I got some hard crusty bread for him to gnaw on and for her some baby food. I made you a tuna on whole wheat and some fruit and I have salami and hot mustard."

"You want to eat first then? I have the blanket…"

Jamie spread the blanket out and Eddie laid out the food. She put April in her bumbo, she was sitting up by herself but Eddie was afraid she'd crawl away. Max sat nicely by Jamie but was interested in eating everything but the food Eddie brought.

Jamie cuddled with Eddie, holding her close and enjoyed the children exploring their environment and each other. Max liked to pat April, touch her, but she wasn't big on it and would squeal and screech. Max also liked to sit by Jamie and Eddie, he would crawl over and plop his bottom between them then smile up at them. "He craves so much affection," Jamie sighed. "I try but…"

"But you are missing one key element in soothing any child younger than two," Eddie laughed. "Come on honey, come sit on my lap…" Eddie took Max in her arms and started to rock. Max settled against her breast almost immediately.

"You see…you need to grow a pair of breasts…Here Maxy, eat your bread. Good boy, take a bite…" Jamie had to smile.

Max held onto Eddie so Jamie took over with April. They put the children on the swings, Jamie held April so she could slide…Eddie was laughing as the children played, her head dropping back letting her hair down.

"They play so nice together," Eddie said when Jamie put April back in her carriage as she slept. Max was placed in the backpack and slept as well.

While the children napped, Jamie and Eddie strolled through the park. "This is such a lovely view," Jamie slid his arm around Eddie and kissed her head. "This is how it's supposed to be, this is how it will be."

"Yes, our children playing…" Eddie smiled. "That's…"

"A dream for us," Jamie replied. "It will come true, I promise you."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "It seems to be taking so long. Tom's getting frustrated with me, I won't have sex with him and I know sometimes he wants me to. Maybe he'll ask for divorce, but…" Eddie looked down at April.

"I could never do what you did for me, with money for Max and all, but I could talk to Tom, I could help and negotiate…." Jamie stroked Eddie's hair. "You will not lose April, I promise you."

Eddie sighed, "I know, and I know you would. I'm just…I can't shake it, I just can't shake it Jamie even now."

Jamie wrapped Eddie tight in his arms, "I know, Eddie. I know…It's going to get better honey. I promise you. It's going to get better soon."

Jamie turned Eddie and slowly kissed her lips, their tongues and hands gently entwined as their babies were held in sweet dreams. As Jamie caressed Eddie's cheeks, and stroked her hair Max let out a wail that Jamie had never heard before. Jamie and Eddie both pulled back, Jamie took the baby out of his pack and looked him over. "What's wrong buddy? What happened?"

Max was screaming at the top of his lungs, his cries woke April, she began to cry. "Let me have him, Jamie," Eddie replied. "Take April, let me have him."

Eddie laid Max on his back and combed the baby's body looking for the cause of his distress. Jamie held April tight against him, scared for his son. "Do you see anything His tooth?"

"No, I see…I think he got stung by a bee," Eddie said. "Look here, by his ear a little raised…do you have a credit card…?"

Jamie fished his debit card out of his wallet and Eddie quickly removed the stinger. "There you go baby…it's okay. Jamie, that hot dog guy back a ways, get a cold can of soda or some ice for him. It's okay sweetie boy…It's okay, Ma…De is here, DeDe has you…"

Jamie ran to the hotdog stand to get the ice while Eddie rocked the baby boy close to her breast. Jamie returned with a cold soda and a few ice cubes. Max's cries had already died down to mewls.

Eddie held the ice on Max's ear, "He's fine, Jamie." She smiled at him, he was so nervous. "He's just fine, aren't you. Show Daddy…"

Max showed Jamie his ear, "boo…" he said sticking his lip out.

"Yeah, I know you got a big boo boo," Jamie smiled. "DeDe make it all better?"

Max gave a tearful smile, Jamie moved and kissed the boo boo, putting the final stamp on a little kid's healing. "What about some ice cream?" Eddie suggested. "Then one more run on the playground?"

Jamie agreed and stood up still carrying Max while Eddie pushed April to the ice cream truck. "My Dad said that she didn't like ice cream?"

"Oh, no she only likes swirl," Eddie laughed. 'She's her mother's daughter already. Does Max eat swirl?"

"He eats anything he's an ice cream fiend…" Jamie ruffled Max's hair and they set out.

Jamie and Eddie shared a sundae, taking turns eating and feeding the kids. "Oh messy girl," Eddie cooed at April receiving a smile. "More?"

April opened her mouth smiling showing off four little teeth. "She's just such a smart baby," Jamie said as they strolled again after changing diapers and wiping sticky hands.

"Da Da," April babbled.

Jamie laughed, "Except for that…it's cute though and I don't mind. I'm going to be her Daddy, at least part of the time."

"You're going to be great," Eddie smiled. "Max is such a sweet little boy. Aren't you Maxy?"

Eddie sat with Max on her lap and Jamie gave April cuddles. Eddie laid her head on Jamie's shoulder, "This was the perfect day. Even with Max's ear and me being all crazy…it's still the perfect day. I want to remember this, us playing with our kids in the park…when we have grandkids…"

"Maybe…" Jamie spotted two young men waking by. "Excuse me, can you take our picture. A couple shots on each phone?"

The boys agreed and smiled at the young family. Eddie and Jamie sat next to each other, Max on Eddie's lap and April on Jamie's. The two little ones touched their hands together and smiled at the camera.

The photo was something Eddie knew she would always love and cherish. When it was time for them to part ways, Jamie smiled at her. "I'll come see you in a few days, we'll sneak a couple minutes. Take care of yourself…text me or call if you…"

"I love you, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "Love you, Maxy…" Eddie stroked the baby's head. "Be good boys."

Jamie gave Eddie a kiss, "Take good care, I'll text you when I can come out okay?"

"Okay." Jamie gave Eddie one final kiss goodbye. Then he leaned over to give April a kiss on the nose. Eddie took April back to her car to head home with the memory of their perfect day at the park fresh in her mind and heart.

"I can't do Wednesday, I'm meeting a CI, what about Thursday?" Eddie texted back when Jamie asked to meet.

"No, I'm on opposite shift the rest of the week until Tuesday, does that work?" Jamie replied.

Finally, Jamie and Eddie worked out a date where she could meet him outside her precinct. Jamie would bring Henry to keep an eye on Max while he and Eddie had a few minutes. Max had a well-baby visit at the doc, so he'd be with Jamie when he went to see Eddie.

Neither one could wait. Jamie put on his cologne for Max's doctor's visit. Henry sat next to Jamie at the office, "I didn't tell you, Jamie, Eddie is the right match for you. She's got spunk, she's beautiful and loving, she's sweet with her daughter and I'm sure Max too. I'm proud of you for overcoming…"

"Thanks Pop,' Jamie smiled. "I know…that…"

"Max…" Jamie got up. "Come on little guy, then we'll go se De…"

Max was given a clean bill of health, then Jamie and Henry headed to Nassau to see Eddie.

Eddie has just scampered down the steps when Jamie's arm sneaked out from between two vans and pulled her in close. His lips came down on hers, Eddie's arms wrapped around Jamie's neck. She sighed and smiled melting against him, enjoying the feel of Jamie close to her. "How did Max do?" she asked when they pulled apart. Eddie was growing to love the boy.

"He's perfect," Jamie replied. "He gained two pounds and grew a whole inch. Pop's watching him for me…"

"Janko!" Eddie heard her Sergeant's voice. "Oh crap, he knows Tom…"

Jamie took Eddie's hand and hurried over to the van where Henry waited. "Just be cool…"

When her Sergeant approached Eddie smiled, "Sarge, hey, this is my ex-partner from the 12th Jamie Reagan, we were under Renzulli, and this is Former Commissioner Henry Reagan…Jamie stopped by to…Talk about my transfer back to Manhattan."

Eddie's Sergeant shook Jamie and Henry's hands, "We're going to miss Eddie around here, you sure you have to steal her back?"

"Well," Henry jumped in. "their best SVU detective just retired and we need a hard hitter like Eddie."

Eddie smiled, "I'll be in touch, you know Sarge. You know half the NYPD anyway. This is really better for us both. We can let Faulkner get a couple collars."

The group made small talk a a few minutes longer, then the Sergeant headed out. Jamie laughed, "You freaked out…"

"I did not, I just don't want the rumor flying before I even get back, it'll be bad enough that I got a nod to SVU after transferring," Eddie replied.

"Yeah, yeah," Jamie laughed and pulled her closer to him again for one last kiss. "Next time my place, you'll be at a new job this time next week. I'm taking you out for Indian."

Eddie licked her lips then smiled, "You're on."

 **Author's Note: As a gesture of appreciation to our wonderful fans and followers, there will be a bonus chapter on Monday, October 9** **th** **in observance of Columbus Day. Thanks for joining us! – Nancy and Kristen**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty Six

Jamie rolled in his desk chair to sign out his last team before end of tour. He was meeting Eddie for the first time she rejoined the NYPD and was so excited he had missed a couple lines on the last report he checked.

"Excuse me," a soft female voice said as it moved through the precinct. "I'm looking for Sergeant Reagan, Sergeant Jamie Reagan…"

A few days earlier, Dana had contacted Jamie that she would be in town and intended to stop by to see him. Jamie tried to dance out of that one but Dana never had been that good with no. That night he text Eddie, "Dana just text me she wants to have dinner. She's in town and heard about the divorce."

"What did you say? Was Eddie's quick reply.

"She's not really good with no, tried twice. Thoughts?"

Eddie's reply was hysterical. "Well I guess we're all going to dinner. I like Dana…"

Jamie rolled his eyes at that response, he knew if he mentioned this little hiccup to Eddie first she would take it just fine, if she found out about Dana from Kara…it would hit the fan so hard he'd never have a prayer of fixing it.

Even with the preplanning, Jamie still ended up being caught by surprise. He expected Dana's arrival at the precinct but he didn't expect her to take flight and launch herself into his arms, planting a hard and passionate kiss right on his lips.

Jamie's eyes fixed on Eddie and began to back away from Dana as if she had been set on fire. Eddie burst out laughing, he looked like a deer in headlights.

Jamie kept backing away and tripped over the chair leg, the chair rolled away and Jamie ended up hitting the floor on his bottom full force. "oomph," he groaned as both Eddie and Dana looked down at him.

"I take it you aren't happy to see me," Dana laughed. "And to think I wasn't going to call, just drop by."

Eddie reached down to help Jamie up, "No, he is,,. We were just going to meet for dinner, that must have been some kiss. You want to join us?"

Jamie looked like he was going to blow a gasket, he had a romantic night planned with Eddie and now…he wasn't sure he could wait much longer to connect with Eddie in all the ways he wanted to connect with her. Still he had to keep up appearances, his entire platoon was watching.

"I'd love to, I know a great place that serves the best dirty martinis…"

"No dirty martinis for him," Eddie reminded Dana. "He's allergic to olives…"

"Oh that's right…" Jamie said a silent prayer. His ex and current lovers going to dinner with him, this was going to be a long dinner. Maybe a dirty martini with extra olives wasn't such a bad idea.

Jamie ordered a beer while the girls had their dirty martinis. All through the meal Jamie kept his eyes on Eddie. She was looking so pretty in her black shirt and jeans, hair down around her shoulders. There was nothing wrong with Eddie's appetite that night either, she polished off twelve wings and a plate of mozzarella sticks, that was his girl.

Dana kept watching the pair all evening. She saw the diamonds shining on Eddie's hand, it was clear she was married. It was also clear that Jamie didn't seem to mind, he was as smitten as ever. Jamie had eyes for Eddie and only Eddie any woman could see that.

Dana wasn't surprised when Jamie confirmed her suspicion. Jamie took Eddie's hand, "While you were in the ladies room a little while ago, Eddie and I spoke. Very few people know this, but considering we've been good friends for so many years, we want to explain…"

Dana smiled, "Oh I know…the two of you are an item now, even though you're married. I'm not one to judge, I'm just…It's a shame you didn't find yourself together sooner. I half expected this when I heard you got married the first time, I was surprised…"

Eddie smiled at Dana, "Of course, we are putting out trust in you as Jamie's friend to keep our secret. We do have plans but I have a daughter and I have to be careful…"

Dana smiled, "Of course I'll keep your secret. I wish you all the luck in the world."

Eddie could see the disappointment in Dana's face, she knew the old friends needed a proper goodbye. "Excuse me, please. I'm going to check on April, she was fussy when I checked earlier."

Eddie stood up and left Jamie and Dana to talk. "She's sweet, letting us say goodbye," Dana smiled. "You're lucky Jamie. Don't blow it with her, you have a gem there."

Jamie smiled, "Some man has one with you too. Truth be told, I've been in love with Eddie for a long time." Dana reached out and covered Jamie's hands, "I know that now, and you are going to be very happy. Keep me posted, if Eddie needs help with her divorce…I'm your friend, let me be."

Jamie nodded and gave Dana a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you for everything, Dana. Especially for this."

Dana nodded as Eddie returned to the table. They finished the evening with small talk and paid the check.

"It was great seeing you again," Dana said to Eddie and Jamie. "I have your number so I'll text before I come in again, maybe you can find a nice officer for us to double with."

Eddie laughed, "As a matter of fact, I know a few. Safe travels."

The two women embraced, Jamie and Dana followed suit, before Jamie took Eddie's hand and whispered, "Room 107…"

Eddie smiled, "Just so happens that my lucky number."

As their pair began to walk to the right and Dana to the left, Dana heard Eddie giggle as Jamie tickled her sides saying, "You bet it is."

Eddie settled in well to her new home in the NYPD. The separation was easier because she was able to see Jamie and talk to him every day if she wanted to or they needed to. It was a longer commute and the intensity of the work meant less time with April, but Eddie knew in her heart this was the right move.

After a particularly ugly case, Eddie came home exhausted and footsore, not to mention, heart sick. That little boy was so cute, even in his traumatized state he carefully explained how the man that hurt him looked, smelled, sounded in the same obsessive detail that Jamie would have. "It's late, Eddie, where have you been?" Tom asked seeing the tense look on her face.

Eddie sighed, "Caught a case stepping out, it was a kid, four years old so…I took it, no questions asked. Are you ready for your trip?"

"Yes, I packed and the car is taking me at 6 to La Guardia. Do you want to talk about it?" Tom asked.

"No, I just want to shower this gross off of me and hold April,' Eddie replied. "Maybe wine after?"

Tom agreed and stepped to their wine cellar to find a proper bottle while Eddie poked her head in the nursey. April was sleeping sounding but Eddie didn't care. She scooped up her baby and sat in the rocking chair holding her close to her heart. "Mommy promises you baby girl, that no one is ever going to hurt you. Mommy will kill them first, no one is ever going to hurt you.' Eddie kissed April's soft hair as she rocked back and forth. A few tears rang out, she picked up her phone and text Jamie, "Bad day, how are you and Max?"

She knew he'd not answer now, it was really late for him with an early tour, she'd hear back though she always did.

After cuddling with April, Eddie took a scalding hot shower washing away the creep factor she got today. That poor little boy, she hoped that with his description she would find the bastard and make him pay.

Tom had two glasses of red wine waiting when she came out. "You'll get him Eddie,' Tom replied. "You will."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Eddie replied. "This little guy did such a good job, cute as a button, just held my hands and spilled it all out. Parents are sick to their stomach, we live in a sick world."

"You be careful pursuing him, I know they don't usually change their form but," Tom took a sip of wine.

"I know, they don't usually change their form but they might, I'll be careful. You too on this trip, 10 days is a long time to be unreachable," Eddie replied.

"I'm never totally unreachable, Sue can usually get a call through, so if you need to get me ask her. It's the time change that's hard."

Eddie and Tom discussed their communication plans using email to stay in touch about April. Tom went to bed after one glass of wine, Eddie stayed up for a second one, and still sleep was elusive.

When Jamie saw her message at 545 he sent one right back, "Drink after tour? Tom gone?

"Yes to both," Eddie replied. "12 hours?"

Jamie smiled, she always had to play just a little bit, "11 hours and 59 minutes," he text back then got ready for his day.

Eddie was relieved, as sweet as Tom could be, their relationship was different than when they first met. Eddie's soul wasn't seeking anymore, it was connected to Jamie for the rest of her life. She was counting down, with Jamie, the amount of time until they could be together, days like this were harder than others.

Eddie got herself ready and prepared a bag for April in case she worked late. If the case didn't break today there would be several late nights, Eddie couldn't ask Kara for that many hours. Jamie would help, she knew he would be happy to do it.

Eddie and her partner worked tirelessly on the case. The things he would do to the little boys was sick and getting worse all the time. Their tiny witness had given them all he could, but he didn't' know his attacker, he had never seen him. Eddie and her partner did know his pattern though and it set their hair on end."Looks like a repeater and he's escalating Connie," Eddie replied. "This was his fourth grab this month,and before that it was once a month, something happened to push him."

The pair went through things that would make a sex offender escalate, ran a computer check, no leads were coming. It was frustrating. The victims seemingly had nothing in common besides relative build, hair color, and age. They went to different schools, played different sports, even went to different churches. Without a link between these boys making an ID would be almost impossible.

"Sometimes you don't get them, Janko," Connie advised. "Not right off, you have to sit back and wait for him to make a mistake."

"And how many boys get assaulted before he does?"

Eddie expressed her deep frustration when she met with Jamie, "We have a great witness but…" Eddie sighed. "Con says he's going to stay all night tonight and make some sense of the minimal leads and tomorrow I'll pull an all nighter. Jamie, I really hate to ask, I know you have your hands full…"

"You can ask me to do anything, Eddie, you know that," Jamie replied softly. "Any thing."

"Can you watch April?" Eddie asked. "Kara can bring her to your place after your tour. Tom's out of town so…"

"Of course, she and Max can play and have a good time, sure," Jamie rpelied. "I love April."

Eddie smiled, "Thanks, I don't worry about her at all when she's with you or your father so…"

"I don't worry about Max when you're near him either," Jamie replied. "You want some ribs? Ribs always make you feel better."

Eddie laughed, he knew her so well. They were just about to start eating when Eddie's cell rang. "Hey, Con what's up…" she began then froze. "No…oh no…"

Jamie sat up, "What's wrong?" He put a soft hand on her back. "Are they sure? The parents ID…I'm on my way."

Eddie stood up, "I have to go, the little boy, our witness… He just turned up dead outside his pre-school. The mom went to pick him up from aftercare and."

Jamie stood up and put his arms around Eddie. "Go do what you have to do, don't worry about April, just call the housekeeper and tell her to have her things ready I'll put her seat in my car and I'll bring her home for pop to spoil."

Eddie looked around to see if they could steal a kiss but the bar was too busy. "Thank you, I'll let you know when I'm coming to get her."

"Don't worry, solve your case. Get this piece of crap. I love you," Jamie whispered.

"Love you," Eddie whispered and rushed off.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty Seven

Jamie didn't want her to go, not like this. He tossed more than enough to cover the bill and tip then hurried after her. Eddie was about to get into her car when Jamie reached out. "Jamie…" Eddie had tears running down her face.

Jamie pulled her into the shadowed alley and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "It's okay, Eddie, don't hold back on this…"

"He was so little, and so sweet," Eddie sniffled. "That baby should not be dead. He looked like Max might look a little older."

Jamie rubbed her back and rocked side to side, "I know, I know. But listen to me, you are a great cop all right. A great cop and you are going to find this guy. You got this. I'm here to help with April, to bounce ideas, anything. You are not alone in this, you can do this."

Eddie needed that and Jamie needed that for her. With one more strong hug and a soft sweet kiss, Eddie left to do her job.

It was not easy on her seeing the body of that adorable little guy that held her hands just yesterday. Her mother's heart hurt to see him like that, "No one leaves this school. "No one…" Eddie had to turn away, she felt her gut wrench but there was time for that later.

"Eddie," Connie said to his partner. 'Don't' take this personally, it's a case. We can be empathetic but…no victim is more special than another."

"Excuse me," Eddie said sharply. "This little guy was alive an hour ago, now he's not because someone probably in this building, tried to silence him. This victim is special, they all are!"

Connie sighed, she was feisty, but she'd burn out like this and that would be a profound loss for SVU. Eddie started at the top grilling the principal for an hour She took pictures of everyone hoping to take the photos to the other victims' families, maybe some sense would come from this tragedy.

Jamie stepped into the house with his precious cargo. "Hello, I have a visitor!"

Henry came out of the kitchen with Max, holding the boy's hand so he could toddle a little bit. "Oh that's Eddie's little girl," Henry smiled.

"Yeah, she's got a big case, her husband is overseas and Kara doesn't have much back up with her own kids so…" Jamie held April up. "We're gonna have fun, huh"

April cooed, "She is acting hungry. You see the baby Max? You see April?" Jamie leaned down to scoop up the boy. "Let's go have yummies."

Jamie put April on the table in her infant seat and Max in his high chair. Henry came into join them. "Max was an angel to day," Henry reported. "Do you have an extra crib?"

"No, she can share with Maxy," Jamie replied. "She's so petite, like her Mom. Eddie says she sleeps like an angel."

Henry helped with the feeding, then Jamie gave both kids their baths and new diapers. "You ready for sleepies?"

April answered with one of the words in her small vocabulary, "Dada."

"Not here, baby girl, you have Mr. Jamie, can you say that? Can you say Jamie?"

April laughed and showed Jamie her feet. Jamie turned on the bear that Max slept with everynight and sat in the rocker waiting to hear them drift off and stop cooing and babbling to one another.

It was after midnight when Jamie got a text that Eddie was finally going to come pick up April. Jamie replied to that, "Come upstairs and get some sleep. Pop will watch them both tomorrow."

Eddie was so greatful, after such a hard time that night she needed Jamie. She was bone tired and spiritually drained.

Jamie had tea for her when she got in and a warm hug. "Tough?"

"Unbelieveably! How does that happen, at his school and no one at the school is viable as a suspect?" Eddie was frustrated and angry.

"Okay, step back a minute, maybe not school personnel, what about voluteers, classroom dads, spouses of the school staff?"

Eddie sighed, "Tomorrow, we couldn't even see straight tonight."

"Good, you'll get it. Let's go upstairs, get some sleep." Jamie took Eddie's hand and led her up to his bedroom.

Jamie held Eddie close, rubbing her hair. "Just try to rest. Try to sleep…" He rocked her as gently as he would April or Max, she needed him, she needed his help, his love more than anything right now.

Jamie felt Eddie fall asleep nestled against his chest and he fell asleep with is cheek resting on her hair. When Jamie's alarm went off, he carefully slid out of be so he didn't wake Eddie up. He gave her a soft kiss then began getting the kids and himself ready.

Eddie and the SVU team worked around the clock for nearly three days and nights. In that time, Jamie took care of April and of Eddie, who was becoming more and more emotionally driven by this case. She felt connected to the little boy and his death had eaten her up inside. Jamie provided as much love and support as he could in the short time they had together.

Eddie worked Jamie's idea on her own time, the rest of the team didn't see how a spouse or father at the school could be involved. Still, Eddie's gut told her Jamie was right. Finally, on Friday of the longest week Eddie could remember in a long time, she found it. She was eating a turkey club and she found it.

"Refreshments!" Eddie exclaimed and went to show Connie. "The lunch service provided by the school is the same one that is at city after care, city sports games, and the boy scouts. And Monica and her son Adamwere at all of the locations until a month ago when the mother passed away, trigger for the escalation. He worked at the school where Adam attended and saw us there to talk to him. Let's go get this guy…"

"Detective Janko," the dispatch officer spoke. "Another little boy was abducted but this time there was a witness, they saw a tall red-headed man with the child going into the basement. We already have some uniforms and unmarked en route."

"Let's go, we're gonna get this son of a bitch, advise the supervisor on scene to wait for SVU," Eddie ordered and she and Connie ran to their unmarked car and sped to the scene.

"He's hold up in there pretty good, we have no idea about weapons but he's still in there, we have all the exits covered," the Sergeant on scene told Eddie. "Okay, Connie you go around the back, I'm going through the basement window, you there, tall thin rookie. You're with me."

Eddie hurried to the basement window, it was just small enough for her and the very tall but thin rookie to get through. They heard the boy crying as soon as they got in. "Stick with me."

Eddie's adrenaline was pumping, she heard her heart in her ears. As they approached an old set of gym mats, they saw the figure of their suspect about to violate the little boy. Eddie's skin crawled as she took a breath and called out, "Police don't move!"

The perp rabbited, leaving the boy and running for the nearest exit. The rookie took off after their perp, Eddie went to the boy. "It's all right now, I'm Detective Eddie, I'm going to take you home."

The little one clung to her as Eddie carefully worked her way out. "Detective coming out with the boy," she called to avoid any of the officers shooing at her. As Eddie worked her way out with the little guy, she heard gunfire. She turned and saw her rookie shot in the shoulder, she would go back. She had to go back

The moment she turned the boy over to the social worker, she radioed, "Shots fired! Unknown victim, shots fired. 10-13, shots fired this at location."

"I'm going back…I know where he went I'm going back."

"Eddie…" Connie cried out as she turned and ran inside. Just inside the hallway, lay the young tall rookie, shot in the shoulder. He was bleeding. "Come on, let's get you out of here…"

"Detective look out!" Eddie turned with her weapon drawn. "Police, don't move. I will kill you where you stand."

"Try it bitch!" the perp yelled as he and Eddie each squeezed their triggers.

He fell to the ground, dead while Eddie fell back, a searing pain shooting through her leg. The limb wouldn't hold her, she fell down hard next to the rookie. "Officers down, 10-13," Eddie called again. "Officers down…"

"And put it in the oven for Maxy and me!" Jamie smiled and clapped his hands. "Good job Max! Way to go. Your turn April, what do you want to play."

"Dada," April replied.

Jamie shook his head, "Picture game, that's a good idea But I don't have a picture of your actual Dada here so…Let's do "so big"" Jamie raised her little arms "April is so big!"

Jamie's cell phone rang and he grabbed it before checking. "Jamison Reagan?"

"Yes, this is he," Jamie replied. Jamie felt his blood run cold, the only words his brain processed were Eddie and shot. "I'm on my way."

Jamie sent out a text to his brother, "Meet me at St. Vic's, Eddie shot, I have both kids. Tom gone." Jamie got both babies into the car and sped off. This would happen on Henry's poker night.

Danny was already at the hospital when Jamie arrived. "Danny, how is she? Did you see her?" Jamie was breathing so hard Danny was concerned he was going to pass out. Jamie only held together for the kids right now. April felt his tension and was crying her eyes out already. Max sucked on his thumb and played with his little steering wheel. "How bad?" Jamie asked. "How bad…"

"I don't know much, Kid, just that she's alive and not likely," Danny conveyed. " Now, give me the keys, here's the key to my car, go on in there, you're her back up contact, they'll give you all they know.

Jamie sighed, his heart pounding. The waiting room was filled with officers, Jamie's eyes trained on Eddie's partner, he knew he was the senior and he wanted answers now.

"What the hell?" Jamie asked. "Where the Hell were you when she went in there? You leave your partner? Let her go on her own? That's basic academy 101, don't leave you partner not ever!"

Connie turned, "Then I guess Janko missed that memo because she left me and went in after the rookie even after she rescued the kid. I told her to stay out, but she had to go…She was too involved in this Reagan."

"I don't care how involved she was or wasn't!" Jamie snapped. "You're her partner, I would never have let her go in there alone!"

"No," Connie replied with a knowing glance. "I don't suppose you would!"

"Jamie!" Linda called out when she saw her brother-in-law had arrived. "Since you're here we need you to consent. Dr. Marsh, this is Sergeant Reagan."

"How's Eddie?" Jamie asked, his own hands shaking.

"She's strong, the bullet imbedded itself in the muscle of her upper thigh, all-in-all not a terrible place for it. There isn't bone involvement and there doesn't seem to be nerve involvement either. However, it knicked the femoral vein and she's lost a great deal of blood. She'll lose more in the OR. We are giving her blood on the rapid infuser now, it's a matter of whether or not her body receives it and the transfusion captures. If it does, she'll come through fine, if it doesn't she could face organ failure…heart, kidneys…"

Jamie felt like he was going to be sick, "And if you don't operate what then?"

"We have to get the bullet, the location is good right now, if it starts moving and hits the artery she could bleed to death in moments, if you'd sign?" He handed the clipboard to Jamie, his signature was distorted, but he had to keep it together, he had to for Eddie.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty Eight

The surgery only lasted a little over two hours, then another two in recovery, but for Jamie it felt like an eternity. He adjourned to the chapel to pray, "Joe, I need a big favor, brother. Danny's helping me to stay with Eddie on earth, but if you see her coming up there, please send her back. I will do all I can do to take the best care of her if she's hurt badly, please don't…"

Jamie's voice broke, "She's in her room now, Son." Frank stepped closer to Jamie and cupped his shoulder. At Jamie's questioning look Frank smiled, "She's very weak, but she held up well in surgery and her pressure is coming up. She might wake soon, she'll want to see your face."

Jamie's face lit into a bright smile, "Thanks Dad. I can't live without her, she's my whole world, my soulmate."

"I know Jamie," Frank replied. "I've been in love like this too, so deep and profound that you feel like your life force is part of it, because it is. But take it from me, God forbid you had to live without her, you would survive for Max. I've lived for my kids every day since your Mom passed."

Jamie's face fell, he didn't know if he was as strong as his father.

Jamie sprinted to the 6th floor hospital room containing his Eddie. The lights were dim and her face strikingly pale. Jamie never saw Eddie this vulnerable before, she looked so incredibly small.

A heart monitor beeped a steady song, letting him know she was all right and resting well. Her face was peaceful but her body was too still. Jamie moved like a magnet to her side. "Hey, I'm here…" he sat down and took Eddie's hand in his placing a small kiss on the too cool skin. "I know it hurts but please open your eyes. I'm not leaving you, not for anything. I love you."

Jamie moved to the chair and cradled Eddie's hand in his own bringing it up to his forehead. "Remember when I was in the hospital after Claudia? When I opened the part of my eye that worked, there you were. You looked like an angel, the lights on your hair, it made you glow. I thought if I had died I was in Heaven. You saved me from wanting to die, we have so much to do, so many plans."

Jamie shifted and kissed Eddie's palm, "We'll be together, we'll raise our kids together. We'll grow old together, Eddie and I promise to be a good husband. I can't live without you, you're my soulmate. You and Max, you're the reasons…you are."

This was how Linda found him an hour later, he hadn't moved, neither had Eddie.

Linda sighed, "She'll probably sleep until morning. We haven't been able to reach her husband."

"He's in Austria or Australia or someplace with an A, he said he'd be out of touch for most of the next few weeks, his secretary can get him," Jamie sighed. "I'll call her about it, I'm here with her."

"I know," Linda replied gently. "I'm sure she's appreciative of that but she'll want to see her husband."

Jamie shook his head, "They aren't married like that. Not like you and Danny, it's complicated but I can make her decisions, I know what she'd want and I'm her back-up, I have it."

Eddie moved a little bit and Jamie shifted his focus to her, "Ssh, I know…" She looked to be in a bit of pain. "Linda, can you give her something?"

"I can ask her doctor, sure," Linda replied and stepped out.

Eddie's eyes opened and met Jamie's, slowly she blinked twice and sighed; her eyes closed again. Jamie placed a soft kiss on her brow. "Good try, I'll be here when you wake up all the way. I love you."

Jamie sat back, keeping full grip on Eddie's soft hand. A different nurse returned with a painkiller, "She'll sleep for hours."

It didn't matter, Jamie would keep vigil no matter what.

Just before clocking out for her shift, Linda peaked in on Jamie and Eddie. She sighed as she saw Jamie speaking softly to Eddie, kissing the back of her hand, stroking her hair. He was too attached. Jamie always attached very easily, he often clung to people when he decided it was safe to let them in. Right now, Eddie did need him. Her husband was out of town and Jamie was her back up, but when the crisis passed, she would certainly help her brother-in-law find love, the right kind of love. The kind he deserved.

It was after 2am when Linda got home, April was awake and crying. Danny was walking back and forth with her in his arms while Jack bounced Max who had been kept awake by April's distress.

"Oh, goodness," Linda cooed at the baby girl. "Oh my goodness baby…" She reached for April and held her with a mother's touch.

'How is she?" Danny asked taking Max so Jack could go to bed. "Thanks for helping with him Kiddo."

"He's cute, it's good, Dad," Jack replied and headed up to bed. "Feel better, April."

In Linda's arms, April's cries settled down. "She is, to answer your question, in capable hands with your brother. Danny, it's odd."

"What's odd? The kid freaking out over Eddie getting shot? That's the kid, Lin." Danny did not want her to go there, he could not betray his brother's trust.

"Yeah, I know they are close friends even though she's married and I know she was there when he got hurt during break-in, but, it feel like it's too much, that there's something beyond the friendship happening."

"He's always had feelings for her, Linda. They never seemed to make it work out but he's always had feelings for her since practically the day they met,' Danny replied. "If you're seeing anything you are seeing that."

"She's going to be okay," Linda told Danny. "I'm not sure he believes me but Eddie is going to be okay. She's getting stronger and after some rest she'll be good as new." Linda stood April up on her knees and bounced her up and down. "Your Mommy is going to be just fine, sweetie pie. Yes…" Linda stood. "Where did you fix for her to sleep?"

"Bottom drawer in our room," Danny replied. "She'd fall out of the other places and Max is in the portable crib."

"Put her in with Max, they like each other," Linda replied and headed to put April to bed. Max was sleeping soundly against Danny's shoulder.

Back at the hospital, Jamie was doing anything but sleeping. He paced, he held Eddie's hand, he sat on the bed and stroked her hair. She didn't cry out anymore and if he looked close enough, her color was getting better.

As the dawn broke, Eddie stirred and groaned as she tried to stretch her tired body. Eddie's vision was blurry, she was confused from the medication, but there like a beacon in the night was Jamie, "Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked softly stroking her cheek.

"Okay, I think. Kind of fuzzy," Eddie replied. "Water please?"

Jamie poured some immediately and held Eddie's head while she gratefully drank. "Thanks," Eddie smiled. "If you're here where…"

"It's all right," Jamie whispered. "It's all right, April and Max are with Danny and Linda and Tom can't be reached so you don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere, partner. You're still my partner, you know?"

Eddie nodded, "I know…Jamie, my leg is numb."

"It will be for a day or two," Jamie replied. "You took a bullet in it."

It all came rushing back to Eddie, "What about…" Jamie anticipated that question too.

"Your rookie, he's okay, he's home being pampered by his mother," Jamie replied. "And the little guy is safe, he wasn't hurt at all. Perp was DOA."

Eddie sighed, "Merciful for him. If they found out inside…" Eddie tried to sit up but found that third to do. Even keeping her eyes open was hard.

"I know, you're tired, go back to sleep. I'm going to the bathroom, then I'll be back all right?"

Eddie laid back, feeling her eyes close again, "Jamie!" she called out as he stepped to use the bathroom in her room.

"What's wrong?" he asked hurrying back to her bed.

"I love you," Eddie murmured and drifted to sleep.

Linda woke up early the next morning. She was worried about this situation with Jamie, he'd been so depressed in his rough marriage. He needed to have a woman in his life soley focused on him and his little boy. She knew Erin was up, Linda put in a call.

When Erin picked up Linda began, "We have to help Jamie."

"What' wrong with Jamie?" Erin asked spitting out the toothpaste.

"He needs a girlfriend," Linda replied. "I saw him last night at the hospital with Eddie Janko, she was shot."

"Oh, is she okay? Was Jamie on a job with her?" Erin was confused.

"No, but we can't reach her husband and he's her next contact. He sat there, Erin and he kept a vigil," Linda sighed. "He's still there and Danny admitted that he has feelings for her. We have to get our books out, he needs to be happy.

Erin smiled, her brain was already turning. She had an idea of who she would call to make her little brother happy again.

When Eddie woke the third time, she felt much stronger. Jamie was sound asleep in the chair by her bed, their brief conversation had done a lot to ease his worry. Eddie smiled at him, he looked like a boy scout in this sleepy state, he was just too adorable for words.

Eddie brushed her hand across Jamie's leg. He woke up and smiled, "Hey, pretty girl,. You look so much better."

"I feel better," Eddie replied. "I'm hungry."

"That's my girl," Jamie smiled. "Let me buzz a nurse and…"

Jamie started to get up when Eddie's day nurse came in, "Good to see you up, can you eat a little bit? Protein rich, eggs, turkey bacon, and a muffin."

Eddie beamed, "You had me until the turkey bacon. I'm starving."

The nurse set up a tray for Eddie, she also had one for Jamie. "You have a very loyal friend here."

"I know I do, the very best." Eddie smiled and squeezed Jamie's hand. "When can I get out of here?"

"The doctor will be in soon and he'll give you an idea, but you're vitals are stable so should be soon." With a nice smile, the nurse stepped out.

"Do you need help?" Jamie asked but Eddie was already eating. He smiled, she was going to be okay.

"Here, you finish my eggs, you need to build up your blood a little," Jamie offered preferring the whole grain muffin.

"I'm fine, my leg aches but I'm fine and I'm glad everyone else is fine too. Did you talk to Connie?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I did, gave him a piece of my mind," Jamie replied. "You partner goes rogue, and you did, you still back them up and deal with it later. He was wrong and I have a mind to go to 1PP…"

"Don't you dare!" Eddie warned. "I was wrong, I did go off and I'm sorry for that, but I'm not sorry…"

"I know," Jamie looked down. "Eddie, we really need to talk about this. You did this once before, you ditched me, intentionally. Now this wasn't that, but it was still dangerous and reckless."

Eddie knew he was right, and she knew why she was doing what she was doing. Now she had to make Jamie see and understand.

"I can't live without you, Eddie, our souls are too connected, and I'm going to ask you please, don't' take these big risks anymore. You have a daughter we are going to make our family, please don't."

Eddie sighed, "Okay…Okay, I will try very hard, but when it's kids, I can't do it. I can't let kids be that scared. I remember how that feels, fear as a child and I never want a child to fear like that."

"Eddie were you…"

"No, no, but a lot of the people that came to the house when I was little, they were loud, they were crass and I was usually asked to hide away…Not my baby, not any ones."

"I will try to understand," Jamie sighed. "But our life plans and family have to be first. April has to be first."

"I know that," Eddie replied. "I do, I am so sorry for going off again. Please don't leave."

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair and sighed, "I've learned that lesson before, we don't solve anything with running away."

Eddie leaned into Jamie and smiled gently. "Good, I'm so...I'm glad."

Jamie held Eddie and stroked her hair. "Rest your eyes, I'm here."

"I heard you," Eddie confessed. "While I was sleeping, I heard you calling me back."

Eddie napped for two hours, then devoured her steak sandwich. Jamie watched Eddie smiling. The doctor had been in and Eddie would be released the next day.

"Eddie," Jamie sat on the bed. "It's going to be hard taking care of yourself and April with Tom gone. Now, I know it will be a risk, but what about recovering at Dad's house? I want to care for you."

"Jamie," Eddie smiled. "I would love that but it's not going to work. I want you with me too, I need you with me truth be told. I have Anita at the house."

Anita was a good soul but she wasn't him, "She is not me," Jamie replied.

"I know," Eddie soothed. " I know, why don't you an Max stay at my house." Eddie held Jamie's hands and kissed his head.

Jamie beamed, it was a great idea, Eddie would be cared for and he could be there hands on and provide all the support he could.

"Perfect, and Anita could be a help with Max and April so we have a little time?"

Eddie nodded,"Oh, perfect. Kiss it better, Reagan?"

Jamie smiled and leaned down giving Eddie a firm kiss. "Your wish is my command."


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter Forty Nine

Jamie did another food run around dinner time, Eddie hated the hospital food. He headed to a favored Irish pub forbeef stew and potatoes for them both. While Jamie was on his errands, Connie came by to see Eddie.

"Hey,' Eddie smiled at him, glad he had stopped by to see her. She knew he was still upset with her and she didn't want it to hurt the partnership at all. "How are you? I heard they put us both up for a commendation."

"Yes, and I want to turn it down,' Connie replied. "That bust was a train wreck and you could have been killed! You could have gotten the kid killed. You were a terrible cop Janko! Reckless, dangerous, and stupid!"

"At least I acted Connie, that little boy was about to be violated in the worst way anyone could be and we were standing there, you were standing there! I might have screwed up, I admit that I went before it was safe, but we are supposed to save our vics when we can." Eddie was getting upset and her monitors were showing it.

"I can maybe forgive it with the kid, but running back for the rookie?" Connie pressed. "Trying to show the other's up, show me up?"

"It wasn't like that, it's just when I was training I was taught you get your man out always, 10-13 trumps everything, I almost lost my best friend over not learning that.." Eddie was cut off by Jamie.

"I have beef stew…Hey, Connie how are you…" Jamie saw the pallor of Eddie's face and set the food down. "Eddie? What's happened?"

He saw the body language and recalled the night in the ER, "Tell me you didn't come in here the day after you partner was shot and hound her about the collar. Tell me you didn't do that."

Eddie just sighed, totally stiff. "I know you feel like Connie does, I was reckless, and I admitted it, but even with the heat I'm not sorry I listened to my gut and saved the boy or the young kid trying to do his job. I am sorry you don't understand that's how I work."

"You went in there on your emotion!" Connie snapped. "That was plain out stupid!"

"Hey," Jamie jumped in. "Eddie made a mistake, she admitted it was wrong to go off half-cocked but as her partner it's your job to understand why she did it and to have her back. You didn't have her back, that might be why she's here. If her partner had her back it wouldn't be like this."

"I not sure where she learned to believe that you can just do was you please and it will all be okay but it won't…" Connie snapped. "I won't have a death on my head and I won't take a medal for a shit show! I want a new partner, you want this you can have it!"

"I'll take it"! Jamie thundered. "Right or wrong, Eddie did what a good cop does! She followed her gut and her heart, maybe she didn't totally engage her head, but sometimes you don't, that's why we have partners, to back us up!"

"She was reckless, she could have died! I wasn't getting killed cause she was following her heart and acting like a dumb blonde."

That was it, Jamie drew his fist back and slammed it into Connie's jaw. "How dare you speak about her that way! How dare you!"

Connie stood up and shoved Jamie, soon the two were pushing and shoving each other. "I know all about you two, I know you're only defending her because you're screwing her behind her husband's back! No way you'd stick up fora friend like this!"

Jamie landed another punch before two nurses came in to respond to the fluctuation on Eddie's monitor. One of the nurses, a male, separated the dueling policemen. "Do I need to get security or will you leave now?"

Connie threw up his hands, "I'm out. Enjoy her now Reagan, she's 100% proof of trouble and she's all yours. I hope she's better in bed that she is on the street."

Jamie's temper flared, but when he looked at Eddie, it cooled just as fast. "I'm sorry, he was rude and I'll sit with her quietly, I'm sorry."

The nurse smiled at Jamie, "Make sure she rests and eats this good food."

Jamie nodded his assurance that he would do that before closing the gap between him and Eddie.

The couple lie together on the hospital bed, Eddie's head tucked to Jamie's chest. His arm absently stroked hers, enjoying the closeness and the feel of her body and heart. Even in the hospital, hair in need of a wash, no make-up she was his beauty, his love. They were always in tune and entwined in each other's touch. With tears in her eyes her pleas tugged at Jamie's heart, "kiss me Jamie, I need to feel your closeness and reassurance. Their bodies came together like magnets, an almost gravitational pull. Jamie kissed Eddie's neck, lips, and jawline holding her so tenderly in his arms. She sighed at his tender touch and molded her body to his.

His kiss was passionate but gentle, careful of her monitors. "I'm sorry, Jamie, you're going to make me too excited, the nurses…"

"I'll slow down," Jamie laughed. "Tell me if I hurt you. I don't want to hurt…"

Eddie's kiss stopped Jamie's worry, she took his mouth to hers, their kisses gentle but filled with need. Their hands stroked and touched lightly as if in their bed in Montana and not a hospital room. As they explored and nuzzled one another's bodies, Jamie's playful hands dislodge one of the monitors attached to Eddie and the machine emitted a loud beep.

Eddie laughed as Jamie nearly stumbled over himself trying to get out of the bed and into the chair before the nurses arrived. "How do you make it stop?" he asked Eddie as her nurse burst in. Both looked up red faced. "What have you done here?" the nurse asked seeing an electrode has been displaced. "Detective Janko is not supposed to be exerting herself, I don't want to ask you to leave Sergeant Reagan, but I will if this happens again. Behave yourself!"

She gave him a look over her glasses and left. Jamie and Eddie broke into laugher. "I think you better eat your dinner now," he laughed. "That was too close a call even for us."

"Not to mention you almost split your head open when you got out of bed, now that would be interesting to explain."

Jamie set up their dinner and turned on the TV, Jamie didn't turn on the news he just bypassed to a movie, curling up with Eddie again as soon as dinner was finished.

"Tomorrow I'll go home while you wait for the doctor and pack a few things for me and Max, then I'll come get you,' Jamie outlined. "We'll go to your home and Danny will deliver both kids to us there."

"Sound like a good plan to me,' Eddie replied. "I wish it was forever, I don't know how to tell Tom but I will and we'll work at it."

Jamie gave Eddie a soft kiss, "Don't worry, we've done the best and the worst as team, we'll continue to do that."

Eddie liked this confident Jamie, he'd been around a lot since the shooting and since his own divorce. Jamie produced a deck of cards after sharing some of the hospital issue Jell-o. "Five card draw, no bets…"

Eddie arched her brows, "No bets, no fun. Go get a couple bags of pretzels, pretzel bets…"

Jamie obliged her and soon they were playing cards and laughing like they always used to when one was sick. Eddie cleaned Jamie out in ten hands. "On of these days Reagan, we are so playing strip poker."

Jamie couldn't wait for that day to come.

While Eddie was being examined by her doctor, Jamie was on the phone with Frank. That morning, while Eddie slept, Frank had called to alert Jamie to the arrest of Eddie's partner, Connie, and the possible investigation of his previous partners and Eddie herself. "Dad, she can't…I am not sure she can take that on top of so much more."

"I'm on that part son, I know it was not Eddie. She would not have any part of that but IAB will be asking questions. They'll hold off until she is more recovered, this way you can let her know before she hears it on the news."

Jamie thanked his Dad and stepped inside as Eddie was getting her discharge instructions.

"Keep your leg elevated when you can, don't put too much weight on it for at least a week until we check you out," the doctor advised. "This is twice a day for swelling, this one twice a day to prevent infection, and this as needed for pain, when the hospital meds wear off you'll need it, take it," the doctor instructed. "The nurse will be to help you in just a few minutes. Feel better, rest up. Call my office if you need anything.

Eddie was sitting in the wheelchair smiling up Jamie. He was going to run her home then bring the kids, Eddie's arms ached to hold her little girl, Danny reported some excessive crying the last day or so.

The nurse brought Eddie's papers and pushed her out to Jamie's waiting car. "Lean on me, keep all the weight on your good leg and me."

Eddie handled the movement very well and settled into the car. "Let's get the babies first, I miss my girl so."

Jamie sighed, "I figured that you'd ask that, we'll go get her in a few minutes."

Eddie smiled and as Jamie turned on the car. The radio began to play one of Eddie's favorite songs, she cranked up the tune and did a little upper body dance. Jamie checked Eddie's leg to make sure it was propped up properly for the drive then pulled out of the space. Jamie navigated the roads carefully changing the radio channel whenever it seemed the news was about to come on. He wanted to be the one to tell Eddie this news, it had to come from him.

Baez was outside the 5-4 when Jamie pulled up. "Danny had to run and deal with some of this morning's mess. They both ate and April seem that she needs a diaper but there is no place to change her in there, one of the perps got sick all over."

"I'll change her in the car" Jamie replied. "Thanks, Maria." Jamie smiled at his brother's partner and returned to the car with April and Max. Eddie held both the kids while Jamie put in their seats, April was fussing and holding her mother while Max laid on Eddie's breast and sucked his thumb.

It didn't take Jamie a long time to get the seats in or April a clean diaper. Soon the foursome were on their way to Manhasset. Max kept talking in the back as the car went along. "Vroom, Voom," he said playing with his little steering wheel.

Anita was waiting outside when Jamie pulled the car into the gate. "Mrs. Eddie, I'm so glad you're okay. How are you feeling?" The older woman gave Eddie a big hug.

"I'm a little sore and tired, can you take the children inside please and get them changed and give them some baby juice. Jamie, Sergeant Reagan, will see to me and my leg."

Anita nodded and took both babies, Max immediately cried, not liking the stranger lady. "Don't worry, he'll be fine, Anita is great with kids," Eddie assured Jamie. "Oh, I forgot about the stairs to my room…"

"Don't worry, I'm here," Jamie assured and carefully lifted Eddie to carry her up the steps.

Jamie helped Eddie change into clean clothes and propped her leg on pillows, "How about you rest and I'll go get us something to eat. When I'm done, I need to speak to you about something, okay?" Jamie kissed Eddie's head and gave her a 1000-watt grin before leaving.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter Fifty

Jamie was gone for a while running to find Eddie's favorite steak gyros at the food cart about twenty minutes away. While she was resting, her phone chirped, a message from Kara. "Sorry about Connie, you holding up?"

Eddie sighed, "He's a jerk, he couldn't stand the heat anymore I guess. Jamie got really angry, did he say anything about us?"

"No, he can't really say anything about anyone," Kara replied. "I'm surprised Jamie didn't tell you or that his father didn't tell him but Connie was arrested for suspicion of human trafficking this morning, it's been on the TV."

"I haven't watched, I've been getting out of the hospital and picking up the kids with Jamie, it's been an all day thing. Jamie went to get food and I'm supposed to be napping but…" Eddie sighed. "I can't believe he didn't tell me!"

"Well, I can!" Kara replied. "He's protective of you and you might be looked at too, I'm sure he wanted to have some more information before he got you upset. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I'm glad you did," Eddie replied. 'I got shot in the leg it's not like it's a heart attack. I'm not a shrinking violet."

"I know, but you know Jamie, don't' go too hard on him okay?"

Eddie sighed and hung up, she rolled over and turned on the news coverage for there area, it was true, Connie's face was all over it.

Jamie came back an hour later, "I couldn't get a gyro around here so I ended up with lobster roll. You have to move!"

Eddie didn't 'move it was pretty clear she was angry, her body was stiff and her eyes flashing. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eddie asked. "Why didn't you tell me immediately!?"

Jamie looked at the news and saw Eddie knew the truth about Connie. "I was going to tell you during our lunch, Eddie. I didn't want to drop it on you at the hospital."

"And if IAB was waiting for me when I got here?" Eddie asked.

"I knew they wouldn't be," Jamie replied. "I spent a long time this morning talking to my father, it won't come anywhere near you okay?"

'No, not okay!" Eddie snapped. "We are in a relationship, as screwed up as it is, but we are and you shoud have told me. Partners remember? No secrets. This had to do with my job and it would have been easier hearing it from you!"

"I wanted to get you home and settled and speak to my father again before we talked, to see if he had more information,'Jamie explained.

"Excuses, excuses, you should have told me!" Eddie argued as April began to fuss. "Please bring me my daughter, leave the sandwich and give me some space. Please…"

Jamie sighed, he knew he should have spoken to Eddie in the hospital, but she had such a physical trauma he didn't want to upset her. Jamie headed downstairs to get April, "Come here little girl, what are these tears for huh? You missed Mommy? Come on with me, we'll go see Mommy."

Jamie carried April to Eddie's room and handed the baby to her mother. April settled on Eddie's bed, "Thank you. I need to think about this Jamie, please just give me some time. When we were partners you would've wanted to know immediately...the good and the bad. I'm his partner and you should've told me."

Jamie nodded, "I'll be downstairs with Max, just call me if you need anything." She's right I would've wanted to know immediately. partners are partners, good or bad.

Jamie sat on the floor to play with Max, "You okay, buddy? Come to Daddy." Jamie took Max and started to play with him. 'Daddy did a no-no,'" Jamie told the boy.

Max shook his head, "no no no no…" the boy repeated. Jamie laughed and cuddled him to his chest.

This was supposed to be a special time for them to bond, they were trying to make a family in a half a years time, all this time was getting wasted. Jamie stood up and went upstairs with Max, that would get some "family" time and he knew how to fix it with Eddie.

"It's Max and me, can we come in?" Jamie called.

"Yes," Eddie replied. "Come in…Hi Maxy.. Come see me?" Eddie held her arms out. He was as skittish as April was personable. Still, he loved to cuddle with Eddie and did so willingly. Jamie brought the spindles and a few story books and Eddie put aside her anger for the moment. They ate in Eddie's room and Jamie gave the babies their baths. He and Eddie cuddled the children between them and read them their books. Both kids fell asleep to Eddie's lullaby.

Jamie put the babies down in their bed and went to join Eddie. "I have to clean your wound and change your bandages."

Eddie sighed, "I'm sorry I yelled, but I'm very hurt that you lied to me, you knew and you didn't tell me the truth. This is about my partner, and now I'm on the hook…"

"No you aren't" Jamie replied. "I'm…"

"Yes I am," Eddie replied. "IAB is sniffing around then Jamie…if you dad stops it or diverts it…"

"He'll do his best to keep it off you, there's no way you were involved it starts way before you came back to NYPD, Dad will make sure that's known and that's all."

Eddie sighed, "I appreciate that part but…"

While they spoke Jamie's hands tenderly cleaned Eddie's wound and massaged moisturizer into the skin. "You hurting?"

Eddie nodded with her head turned to the side. Jamie leaned over and tenderly kissed the area where Eddie had been shot. "I'm so glad you are home and you are well. I'm sorry that I didn't speak up, but please know, while you think it through I have your very best interests at heart."

Eddie's hand covered Jamie's as he worked, "I know, but you can't do this. You really, really can't."

Jamie nodded, "Let's get you to bed, I'll be right next to you and hold you tight."

Even with the anger, the tension, Eddie wanted nothing more than to be held. "Just hold me tonight," she said firmly. "Just hold me."

Jamie slipped into the bed and pulled Eddie close, "Wake me if you hurt okay?" Jamie gave Eddie a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Sleep well, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "I love you too."

Jamie woke early the next morning, nothing helped break down Eddie's walls better than pancakes. It was their special breakfast, and he intended to fix her the coveted brown sugar and chip pancakes and feed her those confections in bed until all was well between them. Eddie had been resigned last night, now he would help her be forgiving.

Anita was in the kitchen beginning to make tea and juice for Eddie and Jamie. Jamie smiled, "I'm going to handle this today, can you just see to the babies, okay?"

Anita smiled, "Don't leave my kitchen a mess," she warned and headed to keep an eye on the little ones.

Jamie set to make the pancake batter from scratch, he'd even downloaded the recipe from the internet. Jamie made a stack of three pancakes for each with hot syrup and maple cured bacon. He carefully loaded the tray and carried the food upstairs to Eddie.

Eddie had just woken up and was reaching for her water when Jamie came in. "Hey, leave that I have coffee, fresh juice and Montana brown sugar and chocolate pancakes with maple bacon and syrup. Can you sit up?"

Eddie had some trouble pushing herself into the sitting position so Jamie put the tray down and helped her before serving her the meal. Jamie cut the fluffy pancakes and offered Eddie a bite. "Oh…you do not play fair," Eddie replied as she savored the bite. " You don't have to feed me, I can take care of that and much more myself."

"I know. But sometimes, you need to let people take care a little, you have to let me care even if I make a mistake and protect you too much," Jamie replied. "I know I did, but you were shot, you were sick and I wanted to make it better." He fed her another bite.

Eddie put her arms down after the first few bites and let Jamie continue to feed her. Eddie sighed, "We have to be a team Jamie or we don't work. We started because we were a team and had a common goal. We'll get through this with Connie, but not if one of us is in the dark all the time."

Jamie fed Eddie another bite of pancakes and a bite of bacon. She got a little drip of syrup on her chin. He put the fork down and kissed it off gently. Eddie smiled and moved her lips just a bit to capture Jamie's for a second. "I know you love me," Eddie continued.

Jamie cut her off, "I do love you, more than words, maybe even actions can say. It hurts when you hurt, I guess I was a little selfish then too. I didn't want you to hurt, I wanted to be able to tell you then fix it, I have to remember that's not how we work. We're a team plain and simple, and that's how we're best."

Eddie speared some pancakes with the fork and fed Jamie a bite, "Yes, it's how we're best. I think we need to learn how to share a little more. I need to learn to let you protect just a little bit more and you need to learn how to protect…a whole lot less."

Eddie's smile made Jamie laugh, he knew he got off too easy for this, but he and Eddie had an established relationship now, they could and would forgive each other's trespasses.

Jamie fed Eddie every last bit of the pancakes and bacon, until she was bursting at the seems and a bit sticky. "You need a bath,' Jamie laughed. 'You have it all over your face."

"Well, I wonder how that happened?" she laughed. Jamie only shook his head. "Let me get some plastic and gauze for the leg, then I'll set you up in the jacuzzi in there, that should feel really good on sore muscles."

Jamie left to the kitchen where he quickly cleaned up and located the supplies to wrap Eddie's leg.

No matter what contraption Jamie came up with the leg was going to get wet in the water unless something propped it up. That's when Jamie had an idea. "I'm going to put you in and leave your bad leg hang over until I get inside."

"Oh, I like this already, but what about the kids?" Eddie asked.

"Kids are sound asleep and Anita is listening for them, here you go…is it too hot?"

"No, it's perfect," Eddie sighed feeling the hot water and bubbles from the jets begin to relax her. She kept her wrapped, injured leg on the edge of the tub while Jamie sunk in and drifted so that Eddie was lying on top of him. Jamie bent his legs and served as a human cushion for Eddie. "How's that?"

Eddie closed her eyes, "I'm in a jacuzzi, in my house, with you holding me tight, I would say aside from a whole in my leg, I'm perfect."

Jamie moved a piece of Eddie's hair aside, "You are perfect even with the whole. Oh Eddie I was so scared, I can say that now you're okay. I was so scared that it was over before it even got started."

"I've know that fear too," Eddie replied holding onto Jamie's hand. "But you're okay, and I'm okay, the kids are great and soon we'll be a family, we will, I believe it with all my heart. Tom's off with Sue, he doesn't regret our marriage like I do, he needed it and at the time so did I. We had April coming and we put her first like you did for Max. To me, the highest form of bravery." Eddie stroked Jamie's hand as the bubbles massaged their bodies. "I love you so much for what you did of Maxy, fighting for him, that…"

"He's a good boy, and I love you so much for what you did for him too, I won't forget that,' Jamie replied. "I won't…ever…"

"I know, he was worth every penny and more," Eddie assured Jamie both unaware at that very moment the house was being watched again, though this time no pictures were being taken, just actions and habits mentally recorded for later use.

Even in their awkward physical position, Eddie and Jamie relished in the closeness. Jamie took the face cloth and washed Eddie's back and neck. He traced her breasts with the cloth the subtly let it drop and cupped her with his hands.

"Oh…' Eddie sighed. "That feels good, you feel so good."

She could feel his excitement growing at a rapid pace, the swirling of the water enticing him along with the soft curves of her body pressed against him. Eddie's golden hair was in a sloppy ponytail to stay out of the way while she slept. Jamie reached up and tugged on the scrunchie to release it. He brushed it all to one side with his fingers then began to wet the long tresses until they were damp enough for a shampoo.

Jamie shifted a bit to keep Eddie's leg out of the water while he worked on her hair. His fingers moved nimbly, pressing on all the right places. His hands were magic in her hair, on her skin…Eddie moaned but in pleasure not pain.

With a soft touch, Jamie reached down and felt the difference between the swirling water and Eddie's throbbing center. He knew what she needed, what she wanted and he was going to oblige her directly. "Hold on, sweetheart, hold on…"

Eddie's body was taking over, her hips wiggling upsetting the delicate balance of her leg on Jamie's thighs. "Easy…we can't…"

Too late. Eddie's leg slipped off Jamie's lap hitting the water. Jamie thought quickly, a gift of his genius, and pulled the plug before conjuring up the balance he had acquired climbing everything as a kid. He stood with Eddie in his arms, getting out of the tub and on to the soft carpet there, both of them laughing.

"I have to…" Jamie panted but Eddie was having none of that. Her leg could wait, right now other areas needed attention. She pulled him closer and took his lips, her tongue dancing with his, her hands and good leg fasting him in place with remarkable strength.

Eddie bucked her hips, urging Jamie on. "Love me," she said in a whispered demand. "Right here, take me."

"Your leg…" Jamie sighed even as his body was betraying his better sensibilities.

"Our hearts," Eddie countered and did him in. There on the soft rug, with infinite gentleness and hunger, they joined. Jamie slip his hands under Eddie's bottom to help her body meet his. The action resulted in a strong and deeper physical connection. He kissed her lips as her body spasmed around him to smother and absorb her cries of ecstasy and his own of sheer delight.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty One

When they had finished, he scooped her in one quick motion and lay her down on the bed. It was spoon time now, Eddie always loved to burrow in his arms, so sweet, so feminine and a turn on in it's own right. Jamie kissed her head softly, "I love you, Eddie…"

"Love you," she replied just as gently. She'd never said those words to a man in his house, not ever…and she never would to anyone but Jamie.

Jamie carefully changed Eddie's bandages after her "swim". "It still looks dry but let's let the air at it a bit incase. You look like you are hurting."

"After that how could I be hurting?" Eddie asked smiling softly. "Our time was just lovely. I'm tired, I think the blood loss is still affecting me a little."

Jamie gently propped Eddie's leg on pillows and covered her with a sheet and soft blanket. "Try to rest a little bit, I'm going to check on the kids and be right back. I'm going to call in too and see when I need to report. I don't want to have to leave you but I don't know if that will be possible."

Eddie understood, this was part of the sacrifice they were going to make for the next little while. "Don't get in trouble, we have plenty of time."

Eddie sighed and shut her eyes dozing off before Jamie left the room. He had to tip toe back and place one more kiss on her lips before going to see their babies.

Anita had both children in their high chairs feeding the mashed bananas and cereal. Max was loving this concoction, and smiled brightly when he saw his daddy. "She's asleep," Jamie told Anita. "I need to step out and make a call, but she should sleep for an hour at least."

Anita met Jamie's eyes, there she saw the love for Ms. Eddie that Mr. Tom should have, a deep soul grabbing kind of love. Ms. Eddie deserved that and while she was recuperating, Anita decided to help her enjoy that.

"Of course, I'll listen for her, Sir," Anita replied.

The "sir" made Jamie uncomfortable, "Jamie please…Max you mind Miss Anita, Daddy will be right back, okay?"

Jamie stepped out and called the 12th. He was supposed to work the next day and the following night, but wanted to try to switch the day shift for when Eddie was just a little stronger. Renzulli was willing, giving Jamie almost 48 hours with Eddie before having to go in to work. He knew he'd pay through the nose for that, but that's what he had to do.

Jamie went back in with bounce in his step. April had finished her food so he washed her off and put her in the pack and play. When Max finished he did the same, leaving Eddie to rest undisturbed upstairs.

At lunchtime, Jamie made one of Eddie's favorite crazy concoctions, tuna fish and egg salad on rye. He carried her a tray and found that Eddie had gotten herself up and was hobbling to the bathroom. "Eddie you call me or if I'm working you get Anita!" Jamie gently scolded. "You are supposed to rest this leg, at least use the crutches."

"I hate crutches, you're a human crutch, I'll use you. I have to pee so bad I'm gonna wet the darn floor!"

Jamie laughed, "Okay, here we go…" Jamie helped Eddie to the bathroom then back to bed. "You're swelling a little, let's wrap this back up and elevate some more. When do you see the doctor?"

"Friday," Eddie replied. 'When do you work?"

"Not until Wednesday swing, I'll be here by about nine at night," Jamie replied. "I'm pretty clear otherwise."

"Good and by Wednesday I should be feeling good as new and that means we can have a little fun…I'll find some tighter fitting sweats." Eddie raised her eyebrow and smothered a laugh.

"Oh, surprise me!" Jamie replied. 'I can't wait to see what you come up with for your returning hero."

Eddie kissed Jamie then saw the sandwich. "You have been holding out on my lunch…" she picked it up and took a bite. "So good…You could have a career in catering for sick people if you gave up being a cop."

"You know I think I'll stick to perps full time and just take care of you, the prettiest patient."

Eddie took another bite, "Okay, then help me downstairs, I want to watch the kids play."

"You need to keep your leg up for now, we'll see the kids later." Jamie stretched out on the bed beside Eddie and found a talk show for them to make fun of while she devoured her sandwich in no time flat.

There was a peaceful domestic scene happening in the mansion in Manhasset, Anita provided support but Jamie kept his hands on the family, tending to Eddie and both babies. During the day, Jamie would play with the kids outside while Eddie elevated her leg on a little table.

Max was too cute, he'd toddle and run after things while April stayed in her rolling walker trying to catch him. Sometimes he would stop for her and then run again. The rolling grass was it's own special playground.

At night, Jamie and Eddie waited until Anita went to bed and the babies were sleeping to have their dinner, then he carried her back up the stairs and made love in the guest room Jamie was using. Eddie would sleep there in his arms.

Jamie had to leave for his swing shift earlier than if he was in Brooklyn, so he changed bandages and cleaned the wound before leaving. "I'll be back around nine, we can have a late dinner. I'll get Chinese or something, text me what you want."

"I will, be safe out there," Eddie told Jamie giving him a kiss as he leaned over the bed.

Jamie headed off promising to call on his meal. He kissed the babies and headed off for work like it was his own place.

Click! Click! Click! The camera recorded his exit.

The tour was insane, Jamie found a few minutes to call and shot off a couple texts but with three big arrests by members of his platoon he was worked to the bone. It was just after six when Erin text him, "Jamie, please meet me for a drink? It's important."

It was rare that Erin would text him to ask so Jamie agreed, his sister would for him without hesitation. "Okay, but has to be just a drink. Have plans," Jamie replied then sent a text to Eddie. "Might want to take a nap, Erin asked me to meet, sounds important."

Eddie replied, "Sure, I'm a little sleepy so I'll take a nap now. I would like Japanese, a bento box."

"You got it, I'll even get a bottle of saki…love you."

"Love you."

Jamie waited for his sister for ten minutes in the back of Sullivan's pub, it was a cop bar, that was a little odd for his sister but so was the impromptu meeting. Jamie stood up when he saw Erin, "Hey sis you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just wanted to see my brother, you've been making yourself a stranger lately. What's going on with you? How's Max?" Erin was sizing up her brother's mood as they spoke,

"He's good, he's really good. I'm helping Eddie out, you know she got shot and her husband is in the Austrailian outback someplace so…" Jamie replied. "I'm helping her out, Max and her little one are fast friends."

"That's good, that's really good," Erin replied. "But she's got a housekeeper, right?"

"Still, I know her and it's good for Max to be making a friend too, he's skittish but not around Eddie," Jamie replied. "She's good for him, when she picks him up he just settles right into her."

"It's not good he's so attached," Erin sighed. "She's married and has her own family."

"She also happens to be my best friend, we didn't turn that off because we were married to other people, not after all the mess with Claudia," Jamie explained. "She was there in the hospital with me, she helped my baby…"

"Erin!" A short bubbly brunette greeted her. The woman was at least a head shorter than Erin but very pretty, bright blue eyes and wavy hair. "I'm so sorry I'm late, traffic was incredibly bad."

Erin stood up, "Cindy, this is my brother Jamie, and Jamie this is my colleague from Queens, Cindy Reilly."

Jamie smiled, "Nice to meet you. Erin and I were just having a drink so…" Jamie began to stand.

"Actually, I have to use the ladies room so if you'll excuse me," Erin stood up and knew that Jamie would never up and leave without saying good bye.

Cindy took Erin's seat, while Erin craftily slipped out the back to leave the two alone. Compared to Henry's match making skills, Erin's were lacking. Cindy was pretty and smart but there wasn't a thing about her that would turn Jamie's head for a millisecond. Too bad Kara didn't have that knowledge. She was at the other end of pub and saw Jamie with Cindy. He was supposed to be going home to Eddie, Eddie told her that earlier today. She had even asked her to come by and curl her hair, and here is Jamie…

"Uh, Cindy," Jamie began. "I really think that this is a mistake. I'm so sorry but I have to…"

"Just a drink," Cindy put her hand on Jamie's hand. "Erin said you would be resistant so…"

"Not resistant," Jamie replied. "I'm actually in a relationship right now with a very special woman Erin just doesn't know about it."

"Ah I see," Cindy smiled. "There's something Erin doesn't know?" Cindy's eyes twinkled and Jamie couldn't help but laugh. His sister was a know it all and was a major pain when she got on a high horse.

"She's actually a really wonderful woman," Jamie told Cindy. "But there's a situation so…she is the love of my life, I'm not at all in the market, I am so sorry Erin meddled."

"Again, when doesn't she?"

Kara saw Jamie laughing and smiling with this woman. She had been debating whether or not to call Eddie about this, they were both her friends, but this was too much, the girlfriend's code trumped all.

Eddie's phone rang for a second then stopped. Eddie glanced at the phone and saw that it had been Kara. She called back, "Hey girl, what's up?"

"Oh, Eddie, uh…" Kara still wasn't sure if she should be saying anything to Eddie, but after what she saw. "So uh, what are you doing tonight?"

"Oh, Jamie's working swing, then we're gonna do Japanese and drinks, hopefully other things. He won't be too late."

Kara sighed, "Eddie, where do you think Jamie is right now?"

"He said he had to meet his sister for drinks then get our food, then come home. Why? What happened? Is Jamie okay?" Eddie felt her blood pressure go up.

"Oh, Eddie," Kara sighed. "I don't even know if I should tell you…I'm sorry…I'm at Sullivan's and Jamie is here but he's not with Erin. He's with another woman a little younger than he is, not much. They are laughing, I'll send you a picture, maybe it's someone you both know, but…" Kara didn't want to have to do this.

"Send it to me," Eddie replied. Jamie had clearly said Erin and now this. Still, they had so much invested, she wouldn't distrust him now.

"I'm sure there's an explanation for this," Kara continued as she tried to soother her friend.

"I'll have to get it," Eddie' replied with a sigh. "Thank for calling me Kara, I appreciate it."

"Let me know if you need me," Kara replied and hung up and snapped the photo to text to Eddie. She left the bar a minute later, turning to the right. She didn't see Jamie make his own exit and turn to the left.

Eddie's phone beeped and the photo arrived. It was pretty damning as far as evidence went. Jamie was flashing is 1000 watt grin and the woman was touching his sleeve. At first, Eddie was so angry she wanted Anita to bar him from the house, she called the loyal housekeeper to her room to request that. Angry tears were hovering in her eyes, "Ms. Eddie," Anita sat on the bed and held the younger woman. "Mr. Tom…"

"It's not Mr. Tom,' Eddie replied 'Please pack a bag for little Max and give him to Jamie when he comes I don't want to see him. I don't…"

Eddie was angry, letting it cover up the hurt. Anita sighed, "Ms. Eddie, can I talk to you as one woman to another?"

Eddie nodded, "Please…"

Anita sat on the bed, "I understand dear, I do understand and it's really not fair that Mr. Tom hurts you like this and himself too. You have your Jamie now and I see the love there. I do see it. Mr. Tom and Ms. Sue, I knew them forever, and they have had love forever. It is wrong what he is doing to you, You both deserve to have love in you life. You have been so happy the last few days, what's wrong?"

Eddie explained to Anita what Jamie had been up to, "I don't understand why he lied. He's divorced, we are hiding if he wanted to see someone, maybe not while I'm recovering and he didn't' have to lie you know? Even Tom, he knows I know, but he lies."

Anita smiled, "Men do. But I think your Jamie is different, I can tell how much he loves you, it is part of who he is. I'm sure there is a reason for all of it and he'll make it known to you when he gets here. It's too late for me to send that baby out now anyway. He's sound asleep with Miss April in the crib.

Eddie smiled thinking of the two innocent babies in the crib. She'd give Jamie a chance. "Thanks Anita. You really helped."

"Part of my job," she replied with a smile "Rest your leg and eyes, not to worry."

Jamie went into the bedroom where Eddie was lying on her side. He set the food down and knelt by the bed.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter Fifty Two

Intially, Jamie planned to tell Eddie upfront what Erin had done, but seeing her curled like she was, pain on her face, he rethought it quickly. Jamie put on his best smile and moved over to the bed. "Hey, you okay? You don't look like you feel well. You hungry for some Japanese and saki?"

"I can't drink saki, I took a pill," Eddie replied. "My leg is throbbing. Set up the dinner if you're hungry."

"I'm starving, been smelling this all the way from Queens, my stomach is growling," Jamie smiled. "Sit up, I'll get the plates."

Eddie took a breath, she had hoped he would speak to her immediately about the woman in the picture, disclose the name and the purpose and then move on, but he didn't. Eddie moved to sit on the bed and continued to hope.

"Here you go, one chicken teriyaki bento box for the lady," he smiled and. "Sparkling water. You can saki tomorrow."

Jamie gave Eddie a soft peck on the lips, she didn't return it. Jamie did his shot then started to eat, he talked about his day, he talked about the kids, he asked after her leg, but he didn't once mention the woman he had drinks with at Sullivan's.

Jamie felt the conversation was strained and he was concerned about Eddie's silence. She'd been having spells on and off of being quiet and depressed but this was a little different. Before he could speak up about it, Eddie reached for her phone and slid it over to him, open to the picture of him with the pretty brunette. The action didn't require words.

Jamie looked at the phone and sighed, then took the device and turned it back to Eddie, "What do you think happened here?" Jamie asked calmly.

Eddie sighed, "You didn't have drinks with Erin. It's fine, it's okay," Eddie replied. "You're single, we aren't in a relationship…"

"Hold it right there," Jamie said firmly. "We are in a relationship, Eddie. We're going to make a life together, I consider you the only one for me and I told that to Cindy tonight. What you see here is the two of us laughing at what a nosy, pushy person Erin can be. She tricked me into meeting her then sprung this on me."

Eddie sighed, she didn't want to argue about this. Erin probably did trick him, that was no longer the real issue. The issue was the time, they had been together nearly an hour, if it was that innocent, why hide it? Why not be upfront, they could have laughed and moved on but now…

"Okay," Eddie replied. "It's fine." Eddie took her phone and put it on the floor. "It's just fine. Let's just finish our dinner."

Jamie finished his meal and cleared for him and Eddie. When he got back to the bedroom, Eddie had laid back down and shut off her light. Jamie stretched out on the bed and wrapped his arms around her from behind, Jamie began to softly nuzzle her. "We can still have a nice night. I'm sorry Erin messed it up for us, but we still have five more nights."

Eddie sighed, she didn't participate in Jamie's attentions, just laid still as he deposited kisses on her neck. Eventually, their magnetism took over and Eddie turned over on her back, her body betraying her heart.

Their love making was very slow. Jamie positioned himself over Eddie's body. He knew she was sore, he kept his touch gentle and his kisses focused on making Eddie feel safe and loved. Jamie nuzzled Eddie's ear and ran the kisses down her jaw to her soft breasts. Eddie raised her hands to Jamie's shoulders, she cupped them. She could push out and get him off of her, she was hurt enough to do that, or she could pull in and hold him to her, claim him and seal him into her. Eddie chose to do nothing, that's what she felt like at the moment anyway, nothing.

Jamie focused on her, this wasn't for him, this was for her. Eddie had been through a lot, this connection was what she really needed. She needed their union, to be his focus, to be his everything.

Jamie didn't feel much coming back from Eddie tonight, she was tired, she was sad and it was up to him. Jamie held Eddie to him as he filled her, he rocked and cradled her, no sounds emitted from either except occasional soft sighs.

When it was over, Jamie felt Eddie begin to shake, her small body quivering as soundless tears feel. Jamie's heart sank, "Eddie, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"Did he hurt her?" Eddie thought. More than words, but out loud she only sighed and rolled over onto her stomach. She shook her head as the tears continued to fall down.

Jamie rubbed Eddie's back, "It's okay, you cry all you want," Jamie soothed. He didn't know the source of her tears, but it hurt him to see her in this pain. Perhaps all he could do was let her cry out the pain she was feeling in her heart. "I'm here, it's all right. I love you so much, you're my love, my life..."

Pretty words…but how much meaning. "It's okay, it's all right…" Platitudes but no apology. It was innocent, she believed that, so why omit it, why lie?

Eddie's sobs began to die down to sniffles as her body settled down. "That's it, go to sleep," Jamie whispered. "If you need me I'll be right by your side."

Eddie knew that was true, she wasn't scare of losing him, was she? "Never lose me,' she murmured out loud. "Can't ever lose me…"

Jamie's eyes arched, did she say what he thought? "Eddie?" Jamie asked but her breathing had evened out, the depression, medication, and motion lulling her to sleep.

When Jamie was sure Eddie was sleeping, he slid out of the bed and headed down stairs. Eddie's tears had kicked him square in the heart, he was far from being able to sleep that way. Jamie peered in on their little ones, April was sleeping with her little hands up and folded, still like a baby and Max was holding his bear on his side, snoring lightly. Jamie smiled, their little ones were resting at least that was right.

Jamie walked to the kitchen to get a glass of milk, that would help him to settle down. Jamie nearly leapt out of his skin when he saw Anita sitting at the table in the dark. "Miss Eddie asleep?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah…" Jamie replied tears dancing behind his eyes. "She actually cried herself to sleep, I'm not sure why, she's so down."

"Why?" Anita asked. "You aren't sure why she was crying?"

"No," Jamie replied. "I was late, there was a debacle with my sister trying to set to me up but it was nothing. We kept our plans, I…"

"Did you say you were sorry?" Anita asked pointedly.

"No," Jamie replied. "No I didn't say I was sorry, I'm not sorry, I didn't do anything wrong."

"You told Ms. Eddie right off, you came in and told her?" Anita pressed trying to get Jamie to see.

No, I didn't even think it mattered. "It was nothing and I got here to be with her, that's all I wanted to do was be here with her." Jamie couldn't believe he "was" admitting this to Tom's housekeeper.

"I see how much you love Ms. Eddie, I can see your tears for her," Anita smiled. "But you have to tell her that you are sorry you hurt her feelings. She is in a bad place, she needs that kind of care now, you must do this to make her feel better. That is why she is so hurt, you didn't tell her before she asked and you didn't say sorry after. Sorry might not fix it, but it was start. How would you feel if someone had seen her with another man? Innocently or not if she didn't tell you right away, you would be hurt."

Jamie nodded, "I didn't see it like that. I did intend to but I saw her so sad and in pain and I didn't think it was smart to be adding to that, guess I did anyway?" Jamie sank into a chair and drank his milk.

"Seems you did," Anita replied. "Now, let me make you bread to go with that, you sleep well talk to Ms. Eddie, say sorry!"

Jamie chuckled, just like his pop with the food. "Sure, thanks Anita for the advice."

"I love Ms. Eddie very much, as she's happy with you. It's like sometimes, life gets in the way."

While he ate his snack, his phone rang. Jamie glanced at the screen, it was Danny, he must have come off the late tour. "Hey Kid," Danny reached and picked up the phone. "How you doing? How's Eddie?"

"She's…recuperating, I think she's doing all right, but she's been a little sad tonight, and I'm not sure…"

"What's wrong, Kid?" Danny asked. "And don't' say nothing because I can hear it in your voice. You two have a fight?"

No, our wonderful sister set me up on a blind date, ducked out and Kara Walsh "saw" me laughing at Erin with this girl, Kara shoots a picture and sends it to Eddie,' Jamie sighed. "She cried, Danny. I never wanted her to cry."

"Let me guess, you didn't tell her about woman, you just let it lie and she busted you?" Danny asked. "You messed up, Kid. You are in the deepest crap."

Jamie admitted Danny was right.

Danny sighed. "So, to her you are guilty as sin. So, you go up to her, no gimmicks, no cutesy stuff and tell her you are sorry for waiting, you are sorry for hurting her feelings. Hold her hands, meet her eyes and whatever she says to you, take it. That will help a lot towards fixing it."

"She was so sad," Jamie sighed. "I've never seen her like that and it just got worse now. I wanted to protect her, and she…"

"Women like Eddie and Linda, you can't protect them, they get mad at you. You can't protect them from the stuff you do, just the stuff that happens," Danny replied. 'Let her sleep, stay close, eat your helping of crown and learn from being stupid!"

Jamie had to laugh, "Thanks, Danny. You get a good sleep okay?"

"I will, you too and don't be a bonehead tomorrow, date night with Linda…" Danny warned. "Have a good night Kid."

Jamie kissed the back of Eddie's neck and nuzzled her. He finally dozed off around dawn. He never let himself get into a deep sleep, when Eddie woke up, he was going to talk to her about this.

It was just before 8 when Eddie stirred. Jamie slid out of bed and moved to kneel by her side of the bed. "You okay?"Eddie asked curious about his position..

Jamie nodded, he could still see the hurt in her voice. Occasionally, she would get this way and it really bothered him that she did. She had been there and when he was Eddie was his beacon in the night.

"I owe you and apology, Eddie, "Jamie sighed. "Please listen to me…"

"I don't want to talk about this,' Eddie replied moving to turn over only Jamie had her hands.

"I know, so just listen and then you can tell me to go or shut up or whatever," Jamie replied.

"I am so sorry I didn't' tell you about what Erin did right off the bat, I intended to do that then I got home and you were so sad. I didn't want to add to your pain, and in trying to protect you, I hurt you worse."

"Jamie, you don't have to protect me from you," Eddie sighed. "You only hurt me when you do that. I'd rather you hurt me by being honest, then protect me by keeping me in the dark. Nothing you can do or say will make you lose me, I love you too much, Jamie. This is it for me."

Jamie stroked her hair again, "Tell me what's wrong. It's not just this, it's more than this."

"It's everything," Eddie replied. "Connie, this thing with Erin, being hurt…being married, I thought that would be easier but…"

Jamie squeezed Eddie's hand as it rest in his. "I know you did. I did too, but we have to hold on just a little more, just a little bit and we have our dream, okay? Hold on with me, don't let go yet. Hold on…"

Jamie's hand held Eddie's so tight, wanting his strength to course through her and help her until she found her own footing again. Jamie knew she would, she is the strongest woman he ever know.

Eddie looked at him with a tear stained face, "I will…you keep me afloat okay? Until I…"

Jamie lifted her head and pecked her lips. "I'm not going anywhere, we're both in this and I'm going to see Erin about this…"

"No," Eddie shook her head. "No, please don't do that, let's really forget that and just start off our day okay? Let's take the kids to get breakfast, it's going to rain but we can watch them play."

Jamie smiled, "Sounds like a plan." Eddie finally met his eyes, "I really am sorry Eddie, there's nothing either of us can do to loose the other. I belong to you and you belong to me."

Eddie held Jamie tight, then got up to get ready for a day with the kids. She rinsed off then sat at her vanity to apply her make up and brush her hair. As Eddie lifted the brush to begin coming her blond locks, she felt Jamie slid the brush from her hands. He moved her hair to the side then laid several kisses on her neck and jawline before gently drawing the brush through her hair over and over. Eddie looked beautiful in her white silk nightie and chenille robe. The lights from the vanity reflecting off her face, "Don't put too much on," Jamie said gently. "You don't need it."

Eddie blushed, but she did lighten the amount of make up shut put on, it felt good to hear that. Jamie found her naturally beautiful.

The brush worked up and down, slow and steady. Eddie leaned into Jamie, relishing his hands on her hair and shoulders. When it was finished, Jamie drew the hair into his hands and pulled the locks into a high, fluffy ponytail. Eddie turned around and smiled at Jamie. He cupped her cheeked in his hands, Jamie leaned down as Eddie leaned up. Their lips met in a deep, stirring kiss. Jamie apologized again with his soft touch, Eddie forgave with her quiet tenderness. Their souls met through their lips…when they pulled back they both were smiling.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter Fifty Three

They took the babies to eat, they shared a pancake and some cut up fruit. "Oh Maxy, don't get the syrup in your hair, silly boy," Jamie laughed. "Is it yummy? Show Daddy it's yummy?"

Max rubbed his tummy and said, "Yum yum."

"Aww, good boy," Eddie praised. "Such a good boy. You eat so well."

Max offered Eddie a piece of his fruit, "Eddie…eat…" Eddie smiled, like father, like son…

They took a ride through the park but a faint drizzle kept them from getting out and playing. Jamie pulled into the house and set them up to play on the floor in April's room. Tom had all kinds of instruments and things for April, he bought them the day she was born. April loved to bang her piano and Max usually hid his little ears, the pitch hurt…but today April played another way. She gently tapped a middle D and Max smiled. He sang a perfect "Aah…" to the note.

"Did you hear that?" Eddie asked. "He matched the pitch perfectly. Max, come see me." Eddie opened her arms. "Go like Eddie. She hummed a C scale. Max matched it. "Jamie, he's got a gift."

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, he can sing the door bell and all that, he's really special. They both are, April is so smart."

Eddie nodded, "Tom is really smart, like you, he's got an extensive educations and brains and she got all of that!"

"From you too, beauty and brains, just like her mother," Jamie smiled. "Do it again, April, you play Max will sing go ahead."

Eddie excused herself to the bathroom and made a phone call, she could really teach Max a little bit about singing and music while she had him here, a good chance for them to get to bond. He had so little feminine love in his life. The piano would arrive tomorrow.

Eddie didn't say anything, she returned to the room and watched the babies play. April got tired of playing her piano and went to use her blocks. Max wanted to play with the blocks too, and surprisingly, the babies shared well, each using only a few of the toys.

All in all a pleasant day for everyone. That night, Eddie and Jamie connected in their very special way. Anita stepped up, listening for the babies so that the couple could have their time. The night before their emotions were deep, Eddie's pained, tonight she was playful and they laughed, the sounds of their coupling as musical as Max's little voice when he sang.

When the babies were tucked in for the night, Eddie's eyes started to sparkle. Jamie knew what caused that particular look and he liked it. Eddie moved and slid her arms around his waist, "Come here, I want to show you something. How the house operates, you were curious about it. Come here.."

Eddie led Jamie to the back room on the first floor. There was a tall but thin door there that was wired to the security cameras. "This is the panic room," Eddie replied. 'This is where the TVs are and it's a little sort of apartment inside. Open the door…"

Eddie keyed the code and Jamie opened the heavy door. She took this opportunity to share all the alarm codes with him in case of emergency. "Here, I got you a little something," Eddie smiled as Jamie was enamored with the elaborate security room. Jamie turned to her to see she had placed a set of keys to the house on tiny NYPD shield with her shield number on it. "This is the house key, I want us to share everything, no matter what. This way you'll always have it by you, and if you need…"

Jamie smiled, "I love the way you think. I don't like that we're so far away geographically, but this is so a sweet gesture. Show me around this place, I love it."

Eddie showed Jamie the room, there was a little apartment in there complete with a closet. The door to the closet was open and inside there was a picnic basket and a small cd player. Eddie smiled, "Welcome Mr. Reagan." She leaned up and gave Jamie a strong kiss.

At first, he was interested in how the technology worked. Some of it was so cutting edge it was beyond even TARU's capability, but Eddie had other ideas. She reached down to that little radio and turned on their special song. If that didn't get Jamie's attention away from the wires and the lights, her next move would have. Eddie slowly approached, moving her hips side to side in a most seductive way, then smiled. All she had to do was smile and Jamie was putty in her hands. Her smiles were few and far between lately, he relished them and returned this one in kind before taking her in his arms and whirling her around to the music.

When the song ended, Jamie leaned down and kissed Eddie lips, tasting her sweetness with a smile. They settled down on the floor with the basket between then, a mix of favorite songs playing in the background. Jamie fed Eddie bites of strawberries after they each devoured some of Anita's pimento cheese sandwiches. "How did you…?" Jamie asked.

It's been a while since we've been in a closet, Anita has the kids and we've got tonight…" Eddie whispered, " all to ourselves."

Their bodies came closer, molding themselves into one person, their lips locked, tongues moving, tasting, dueling for dominance of the kiss. Their hands became active, Eddie's exploring Jamie's shoulders and strong back, Jamie smoothing his hands down her hips and pushing the small of her back to get Eddie as close to him as possible.

Eddie pulled away gasping for air, panting, looking very flushed and swallowing hard, she looked at Jamie, he is the same but with a deep lust and desire trying to break out, but he is also looking confused and maybe a little hurt. It had been her idea to come into this place, this tiny apartment inside the huge mansion. Now she pulled away. Eddie realized she needed to do something quickly. She didn't want Jamie to feel rejection.

She took a deep breath getting much needed air, then pushed her lips together and gave Jamie him a small naughty smile giving him all the permission he needed.

Not wanting to leave her, he pulled Eddie towards him and their lips lock again, Eddie wrapped her arms around his neck and Jamie grabbed her legs and picked her up. The sudden change shocked them both and their kiss deepened, Eddie wrapped her legs around his waist and Jamie walked them towards the sofa in the corner of the state of the art room, never breaking contact.

They fell onto the sofa, and Jamie reached over to move the throw pillows to the floor before he turned his attention back to to Eddie, who looked at him as if she had years of pent up passion ready to explode within her. " You're so beautiful."

With their lips attached again, and their hands feeling, Jamie worked his hands under Eddie's shirt and ended up on her torso feeling her soft delicate skin, Eddie was frantically undoing Jamie's shirt buttons, he grabbed the material to Eddie's shirt and pulled it over her head.

Her upper body was on full display and more than that….she wasn't wearing a bra, Jamie's breathing was heavy and he felt flushed as he took a nipple into his mouth causing Eddie to let out a small moan of pleasure, he sucked lightly and twirled his tongue around causing a small smile to abruptly appear on his face when he heard Eddie's pants and whimpers as they escaped her mouth. He repeated his actions but this time a little rougher causing Eddie to cry out louder than before.

Eddie pulled at his hair to bring him back to her mouth, they reconnected with their tongues pursuing each other. Eddie pushed the shirt off Jamie's shoulders and explored his chest and back with her hands as she hugged him closer to her, Jamie shuddered as her actions the skin on skin contact arousing him to a fever pitch. He began to fiddle with Eddie's pants and quickly undid the button and zipper. .

Eddie raised her hips to help Jamie take off her pants pulling them down her thighs and over her knees, falling past her ankles and landing in a heap on the floor, exposing her black silky panties, which didn't seem to stay on all that long and ended up next to her pants.

Their breathing began coming in faster bursts, there is more skin exposed, sloppy kisses being exchanged and hands stroking the sweat glistened body parts. Eddie frantically pulled at Jamie's belt and undid his buttons and zipper, and in one flush move his pants and boxers were around his ankles.

Their breathing is heavier still, as excitement fills them, the air is filled with passion, musk and an intense desire that is yet to be clenched.

Eddie whispered into Jamie's ear. "I need you. Now!"

"I've always needed you," came Jamie's soft reply.

With those last words Jamie pushed himself into her core groaning as he entered her, Eddie took a sharp intake of breath and clasped his shoulders and digging her nails into his skin. Jamie started the rhythm off slow and sensual then increased it to a faster action. Eddie's moans and cries made him more and more aroused, Eddie wrapped her legs around his waist tighter and pushed him into her further and harder causing Jamie to moan Eddie's name loudly. "Eddie!….Oh God…"

Jamie was now moving faster and harder than before, both of their cries filled the thankfully soundproof room. Jamie buried his head in the crook of Eddie's neck, and suckled her skin, he was almost reaching climax with every thrust, trying his hardest to hold on, to not burn out before Eddie.

"Honey, I can't hold on any longer…I…need you to come with me," he finally got out between kisses, groans and searching for air.

Eddie's moans became higher pitched, she clutched onto his shoulders harder, pushed him in more, Jamie felt her muscles tense up and pumped hard and faster until he hears what he has wanted to hear, Eddie crying his name in pure ecstasy,

He thrust a few more times as they both climaxed, Jamie fell into Eddie's arms as her muscles relaxed, the only noise the beating of their hearts as they both caught their breath and relished in each others bliss.

"This is a really incredible place!" Jamie smiled as he snuggled with Eddie. "Is that one of those fancy air mattresses with the bouncy thing in it…to help the old folks."

"Yes, tom just replaced it actually," Eddie laughed. "Go have a bounce, I know how you love your little toys."

Jamie smiled like kid at Christmas and moved to bounce on the mattress. "This is fun, it's like a bounce house!"

Eddie laughed, "Yes, it will be entertainment for April in the unlikely event we end up in here. That and it's actually really entertaining to see Tom try to get out of here."

"It can't be that hard, he's an archietet, he had to know how these things work."

Eddie shook her head, "I dare you to get out in under five minutes. You are…" Eddie set the stopwatch on one of the cameras. "On the clock."

Jamie tried the door first but it was not going to budge. He tried the key pad, he tried the window, he looked on the walls, the floors, but he wasn't able to find a way out. Eddie was laughing as he pawed around the walls again. "You are ice cold, so ice cold…" She laughed.

Jamie kept looking, like a little game, but finally the timer buzzed. "Some cop you are…the exit to a panic room goes outside…' Eddie stood on the table and pushed up. "It lets you out on the balcony attached to the guest room, that has a trellis like the one outside my bedroom. You climb out and it leads to the root cellar. Silly man."

Eddie reached down and Jamie plucked her off the table. She latched her legs around his waist and kissed him deeply. "You want to try out that bouncy mattress…if you light me up like you did before you might make a new exit to the panic room…"

Jamie laughed and dropped Eddie from his waist to the mattress. She bounced up and laughed, the music of that sound still one of his favorites, he wanted to hear it more and more…he'd do his best to make it happen.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty Four

Jamie was stroking Eddie's arm in the morning sun when the doorbell rang. Jamie almost jumped out of this skin, "Who in the world is that? It's only 8!" Jamie was about to get up when Eddie laughed. "That's the piano man."

"The who?" Jamie asked. "Eddie, what did you do?"

"I bought a…" Anita knocked on the door. "Come in, "Eddie called as Anita stepped in. "Ms. Eddie, there is a man saying we ordered a piano."

"Yes, we did, please have him bring it in, I'll be right down."

"Eddie," Jamie sighed. "We are leaving here in a few days, how can I…"

"You're here now and you have a piano at your father's house, your Pop plays you said, right? Of course, if Max is working with me on the piano, you can bring him here. It'll make things easier later if he and I bond. You and April already have a connection, you held her the day she was born, different for me and Max."

Jamie smiled. "Okay, go sign for your piano, I'll be right down."

Jamie put on his pants and a shirt as Eddie headed down to sign for the piano. "Right there," Eddie told the men. "Right by this back wall."

Jamie watched Eddie, she was in control of her environment here and looked stunningly beautiful. Eddie signed her name and tipped the drivers. "You think Max is up? I want to show him…"

Jamie smiled at how enthusiastic she was about this. "I'll go see…" Jamie went to get Max. He was standing by April's crib pointing.

"You want April to get up?" Jamie asked. "April's sleeping buddy, come on, Eddie has a surprise for you." Jamie carried Max on his hip.

Max clapped his hands, "Eddie…" He reached for her. Eddie took him and showed him the piano, "See, for Max. Eddie sat down and played a couple notes, Max's sweet little voice rang out clear as day. Jamie watched Eddie holding his son, rocking him back and forth as they sang. Tears freely fell from his eyes, his boy deserved this, he deserved a mother. Jamie felt his love grow.

When April woke a few minutes later, Jamie got her out of her bed and changed her diaper. The foursome shared breakfast. As Jamie and Eddie were discussing the rest of their day the bell rang again.

"What is it this time?" Jamie asked. "Drum set?"

Eddie laughed, "No I sent that to your dad's house."

"Ms. Eddie, Mr. Jamie, it's Commissioner Reagan and his team. He would like to speak to you."

Anita took over with the babies while Jamie and Eddie went to greet Frank. "Sir," Eddie smiled "Welcome to my home, would you like some coffee or pastry. Anita…"

"No, Detective, no thank you, this is more of an official visit," Frank replied. "I didn't tell Jamie before now so that he could be here and be supportive for you and not have to tell you himself."

Eddie reached for Jamie's hand, "Officer Walsh?" she feared.

Frank sighed, "This morning, Detective Connie Gallagher committed suicide with his own off duty revolver."

Eddie shuttered and gasped covering her mouth with her hand. Jamie immediately moved to hold her tight and absorb some of the pain and shock she experienced. Eddie pulled back at first, her body shaking. "Oh God…"

Frank watched the young woman cycle through the shock, finally she sank back into Jamie's arms. Jamie kissed her hair and rocked slowly, "So," Eddie began. "It's true then, what they said about him? He did those things?"

Frank nodded, 'Yeah, it is. He got into it a few years ago after falling on hard financial times and lately it was coming back to bite him in several ways. His wife left him, IAB was on him and he needed to get out of it. He left a letter for me which I read and one for you as well." Frank reached into his breast pocket and produced Eddie's letter. "You've been completely exonerated of any wrong doing by IAB and Connie's letter, I knew, we all knew you wouldn't…"

Jamie kissed the top of Eddie's hair as she took the letter. She put it aside and turned into Jamie 's chest, "Why didn't he talk to me. I was his partner, I thought I was his friend…I could have helped him, I'd have helped him…"

"Ssh, I know you would have, ssh…" Jamie cooed and rocked her back and forth in his arms. "I know, I know…" Jamie looked up at Frank. "Thanks Dad. If you want to see Max and April."

Frank shook his head, "I'll keep this professional, Baker will be in touch when we have arrangements, keep up the healing, we need you back. Take care son."

Frank took his leave, Jamie turned to Eddie and held her tight. "I know Eddie, I know. I know…"

Eddie began to cry harder, her legs barely holding her up. "I know…come, I'll take you back to bed, okay. Come…" Jamie scooped her up and carried her up the stairs to take her to lie down.

Jamie laid Eddie down and moved to lay down with her. Eddie wiggled into his arms, "Don't…" She whispered.

'Not going to, I'm here," Jamie murmured lying down next to Eddie. "You want a cup of tea? Maybe a cup of tea is a good idea…"

"No…" Eddie held onto Jamie even tighter. "Not yet, just stay. Stay."

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie and rocked. "In a way, I know what you are going through. It wasn't a suicide, but it was my partner, and I felt like I failed Vinny."

Eddie sniffled, "He was killed, you didn't fail, I did, I failed. He needed help and he didn't talk to me or anything. I could have helped pay his debt, I could have listened, I could have done so much."

"I know, and if he asked you would have, Connie didn't ask, he didn't want help Eddie. You can't force it okay? You can't force it. I couldn't force Vinny to listen to me either, he had his eye on the prize and kept running. Nothing I could have done...but it sure as Hell felt like I could have."

Eddie began to cry harder again, the sound was heartbreaking for Jamie. Once again, all he could do was hold her tight and cry with her assuring her that he was there with her and loved her more than words could say.

Eddie napped for a while in Jamie's arms. When Eddie woke up, Jamie wasn't there. She could hear the shower and smiled, the poor man hadn't even had that this morning. Before Eddie got up, her phone signaled and incoming skype call. Eddie looked at the screen, "Tom…" She clicked the call, "Hey Tom, how are you? It's good to hear from you."

"I am so sorry that it took so long," Tom replied. "There's almost no reception around here at all. How are you? You've been crying honey."

"My partner died," Eddie told Tom. "He killed himself this morning and I didn't even notice there was something terribly wrong …maybe I could have helped or…" Eddie began to cry and covered her face as Jamie stepped out of the shower and heard Eddie's voice speaking. Jamie was about to speak when Eddie quickly waived him off. She couldn't deal with that now. Not at all.

"I know, sweetheart," Tom crooned to her. "I know. You would have done anything and I do wish I could be there with you."

Eddie shook her head, she knew that wasn't true but it was nice of him to say it at any rate. "I'm okay, Anita is taking good care of me and Jamie's been here a lot, partners and all."

"Well, thank him for me," Tom replied. "I'm glad you have a good and loyal friend like that."

The call continued but Jamie didn't stick around to hear much more of it. Eddie wasn't his, she was Tom's and he was borrowing her, he kept forgetting that part of things. Eddie had shown him the gym a few nights ago, Jamie headed there to work off his frustration, when Eddie wanted him again, he knew she'd come calling.

Eddie hung up with Tom and went in search of Jamie. She heard the metal on metal of the weights and headed to the gym. Jamie was there, working out at least twenty minutes. He wore only his gym shorts, his body was drenched head to toe in sweat, his chest glistening and his thighs quivering with the effort of his lift.

Eddie had never seen anything so sexy in her life, not even when Jamie would change after tour. As soon as he was off the weight bench Eddie was on him, she needed him, she needed the connection, she needed her Jamie.

Jamie felt Eddie before he saw her, her hands dipped into the waistband of his boxer shorts. With one swift move his pants were down by his ankle's and Eddie's arms were around him, her mouth seeking his.

Jamie met Eddie's seeking lips but let her keep control of the kiss. Her tongue worked between his teeth, Eddie wasn't usually so aggressive, usually it was more mutual, but now she was focused totally on their mating, it was for her needs, and that was okay.

Eddie steered Jamie pushing him up to the wall. Jamie's back hit as his hands helped Eddie strip her clothes off. "Touch me!" she demanded. "Touch me…"

Jamie cupped Eddie's breasts and suckled her neck, nibbling at the tender flesh. "Oh, Jamie…"

She kissed him so hard he thought his lips would bleed, her hands frantically running over his back, He caught her wrists, trying to slow her, but she yanked them away, nothing was going to stop this connection, not even Jamie. As Eddie kissed Jamie deeply, his head swam a little as she pressed warm silky skin against his chest, lips finding his again with urgency.

"Eddie,' Jamie gasped. "Eddie, we need to…"

"No," she whispered, moving her hips against his slowly until he groaned. "I won't stop, I won't slow down. I need you now, Jamie. I need you, and not even your reticence can stop me."

"I don't want to stop you," he said lightly, stilling her hips with his hands. "I just want to move."

"Why?" Eddie asked teasingly, dragging her nails lightly down his chest and watching his eyes glaze. "Up against the wall too primal for you?"

"No," he replied steadily, and she inhaled sharply at the glint in his eye. "I just think that your screams so close to the door might bring Anita up here."

She gasped, and Jamie took advantage of her open mouth to kiss her deeply while guiding her back towards her bedroom. They fell to the bed, limbs entangled, skin on skin. Eddie writhed a little at the feel of his hands and lips, everywhere at once, passionate and methodical at the same time. When he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh, she arched her hips with a wordless request.

There had been a day when Eddie's aggression in the bedroom would have caused Jamie to freeze, even panic, but now, her tenderness and her love over the last year had healed him, helped him. Now it was his turn to help her, to heal her. He'd do it…

Eddie slid down onto him, one stroke so quick and sure that he was certain she would be in pain. But only a deep groan of pleasure escaped her mouth as she wrapped around him, and he steadied his hands on her hips. Her face was flushed, her lips parted slightly and her hair clinging to her cheeks and slightly tangled. He thought briefly that he had never seen her look more lovely, before all thought left him as she began to move.

Everything was an ocean of sensation as Eddie took him, let him take her with slow thrusts upward that increased in speed and intensity more quickly than he would have liked. But every time he tried to slow, to take his time with her, she would lean over and kiss him, and as his brain swam she would increase the pace again. He realized that she would not allow him to precisely make love to her tonight, that the want and need and grief was ruling the day and required a frantic release. He unleashed his already tenuous self-control, rolling her beneath him and bracing his hands beside her head. She looked up at him with wide bright eyes, with longing and breathlessness, and he drove into her, drove all the pain from her face, drove all the shadows from her eyes. She became light, weightless, free beneath him, and then her eyes fluttered closed and she did cry out, his name spilling from her lips over and over again until the beautiful sound of Eddie moaning his name sent him over the edge.

Jamie collapsed against her, their bodies trembling. Jamie's arms went around her and soothed her back. This had not been about their love, but that was okay for now, this was about connection, about healing and that they did in spades.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, both totally spent emotionally and physically. Eddie kept her face buried in Jamie's chest, she was rocked by this. It was way too much for her, she needed to be held by him, she needed to hide in his love.

Jamie woke a little after 2am and found the sheets empty and cold. Jamie sighed, when Vinny died he had so many sleepless nights, alone in his apartment. All he wanted then was someone to hold his hand, give him a kind word. Jamie padded down to the kitchen, Eddie sat there in his tee shirt, an unfinished glass of milk in front of her, holding the envelope with Connie's letter.

Her face was swelled and eyes red rimmed, she was folding the letter then opening it again. "Hey," Jamie smiled. "The bed was cold. How you doing?"

"Just reading this letter," Eddie sighed. "Jamie, how…" Eddie's voice cracked. "He said I was a good cop but…if I was…"

Jamie sat down and held Eddie's hand, "Read the letter to me. Read it out loud until you believe what he's saying is true."

Eddie wiped her eyes and cleared her throat:

 _Dear Eddie –_

 _This is not your fault! I know you are sitting someplace, maybe with your beautiful baby girl, thinking that it is but it's not. I did this to myself all of it and there was nothing you could have done. Yes, you could have paid the debt but that would not erase the shame. I got so angry with you for going off book because you were so close to unearthing all of my secrets._

 _You are a terrific cop and the most loyal partner I've ever had. I know you can do great things in SVU or anything else you try. You have the fire and the light, I lost the meaning. Please don't doubt yourself or spend time being sad. If you ever need to be reminded of what an incredible cop and partner you are, just ask Jamie, and he'll remind you._

 _Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that's how I'll remember you…_

 _Connie._

Jamie smiled and took Eddie's hand in his own and kissed the wrist, "Best partner a man could ever ask for and not just on the job. In my heart and in my life Eddie."

Eddie sighed and reached up to rub her neck. She had a headache from crying all day and sleeping with her face planted in Jamie's chest. Jamie smiled, "Come with me, I have just the thing for that, come…"

Eddie placed the letter on the table and slowly followed Jamie up the steps, trusting in him to take care of her that night and many nights to come.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter Fifty Five

Anita delivered both children and breakfast for the family when she heard Jamie and Eddie stirring. She'd here Eddie crying on and off all night and felt perhaps some cuddle time with the littlest members of the house would help her. April crawled to her Mommy and smiled up at her, "Momma…" she smiled while Max began to play with Jamie's religious medals. "Dada, toss…" Max told him pointing to the spread Anita made. "Eddie, no no…" he said at the tears on her face. "No, no…" Eddie pulled both babies in tight and held them beginning to cry thinking of her partners children and how they must be suffering so much right now.

"Jamie, I think I want to try to make a call on Connie's wife and children later today and…" Eddie began.

"I think that's probably not a good idea," Jamie replied. "You are not handling it well, I'm sure she isn't and I don't want things going on or being said to make you more upset."

"I can't get more upset," Eddie replied holding tight to the children. "Here, eggies…" She offered some to each of the children, she wanted this every day, her little family of four. She had to make a choice soon, she had no more resolve left to hold on any longer.

"Maybe we can go tomorrow,' Jamie replied. "I had an idea, it's nice out today. Why don't we take the little ones out to play in the park then make a stop at Chuck E Cheese and let them play in the little play space. A family day…"

Eddie smiled, that might help. The truth was that the ending of this little pretend world was pushing her deeper down into her depression. This is what she wanted, this little group, it always had been but she settled. She didn't care about the money, the house, she just wanted her family.

After breakfast, Jamie took the kids to wash them and dress them while Eddie freshened up. Her leg was aching from the activity of the previous days but the need for connection and joy would be worth the pain. Still, she didn't' desire a full dress up. She put on some powder and lipstick and did a messy Mom bun. She was finished dressing before Jamie came up to shower. "Eddie, I put some butt paste on April, she's getting a little red on her legs."

"Thanks," Eddie replied, feeling her throat tighten. "I should have known that, I should have…I'm not even taking good care of my own baby."

Jamie turned around and knelt down by Eddie's side, "Hey, stop that now. You are the best partner and the best Mom. Look at how you love Max, you love him like your own…you do…Now smile for me, and let's make a happy day for you and the kids, I love you." Jamie kissed her lips gently. "Come on partner."

Anita packed them a picnic lunch and several changes of clothing for the babies. Max held Eddie's hand as they walked, he wanted to be a big boy and run along side. April was content to be carried on Jamie's hip, both babies sqealing with delight when they saw swings.

Jamie and Eddie spread the blanket out and then Jamie propped Eddie's thigh on a pillow while he took the babies to play. Jamie pushed Max with his right hand and April with his left while Eddie watched and smiled. As she sat, another couple passed by and commented, "You have a beautiful family." Eddie swallowed hard, "Yes I do. Thank you."

Max took off running when Jamie put him on the ground after his swing. He ran straight to Eddie, little arms out stretched. From across the park the camera clicked, watching as Eddie rolled on her back pulling the little boy to lay on top of her chest. Max made a raspberry and Eddie laughed, she tickled his belly.

After their picnic lunch of cold chicken, potato salad, and fruit cups for the kids, Jamie and Eddie moved the blanket to under a tree. They changed their diapers and then snuggled while the babies' napped.

"This reminds me of our tree in Montana," Eddie whispered as she laid her head on Jamie's chest. "I can't wait to go back there. I know we have time here but that's our special place."

"I still have faith that we'll be there and married beneath that tree, this time next year, you and me and our babies will be a family."

Eddie smiled and swallowed, "It's already our family. Sometimes I feel bad about Tom, but then…"

"Then you remember he's just like you," Jamie replied. 'He's human, we're human, we love and we hurt all alike. He made a bad choice not marrying Sue when he fell in love with her, and I made one by marrying Claudia when I didn't love her. My regret, you got hurt, twice. I'm going to spend my life making it up."

Eddie turned her head and kissed Jamie's lips, "I love you, I'm just feeling down, it's not your fault. It's not, it's mostly me and I'm glad you're here and holding onto me, with me. I need that and I'm not sure how…"

"Ssh," Jamie soothed. "We have a few more days, let's not waste it worrying about what happens when it's over. You always told me that."

Eddie nodded, "Yes, you're right. Let's enjoy our fantasy, Mr and Mrs. Reagan just a bit longer.' She stroked April's hair as she slept peacefully. "She's never been in a ball pool, has he?"

"Nope, they are going to get a huge kick out of that."

Eddie smiled, "So am I."

The kids were too little for games, so they got their table in the play area. It was early, so they were the only people in that part of the restaurant. Eddie sat at the table, Jamie took the little ones shoes off and they both started to run and play. April wanted to do the slide but from the bottom, Max was scared of the slide and held onto Jamie's legs.

"Come on Maxy, Daddy will play too…"

Eddie sat back and watched Jamie take his shoes off then climb up the ladder. April was too little to climb, so he brought her up the back of the slide and let her slide down. She made a tiny little pop when she landed in the sea of colored balls. Max made a slightly larger pop when he landed in there followed by Jamie's thud. The balls scattered to the sides and some even spilled out. Eddie laughed, her head dropping back. Max pointed at the balls, "Uh oh…"

Jamie and the babies threw some of the balls back in and went down the slide again and again. All three children were having the time of their lives.

When the pizza came, Eddie helped Jamie corral the kids. April started to cry when her mother picked her up, "You can play again later. Come eat now."

Anita packed baby food for the kids, Eddie had them share one jar, then as a treat, let the nibble the pizza crust. April shared hers with Jamie, proclaiming him, "Dada."

Jamie laughed, "She should never say that in front of Tom, he'll get so angry…"

"No," Eddie replied. "He'll understand, he knows she's just a baby. Not even a year but so smart…"

"She is that, from her mother…" Jamie laughed.

"And her father too," Eddie replied. "If she starts to speak multiple languages like he does we're in real trouble."

When the dinner was consumed, Jamie took the kids back to play. There were a few more kids now but it was still calm enough for the two babies to play. They loved sliding into the pool, April would come up laughing, Max looked surprised, and Jamie made a mess…until he started to go down the tube and then stopped midway down.

Max looked up at Jamie then at April. April looked up at Max, then back at Eddie. 'Come on Jamie," Eddie laughed. "Don't be scared." At first she thought he was teasing, then she realized he was really stuck!

Eddie climbed the back of the play house to get up to the top, "Really Reagan?" Eddie laughed. "You are something else…"

"It's not funny, I'm stuck in here,' Jamie replied trying not to burst into laughter at his plight.

Eddie sized up the situation, "I'm gonna try one thing but after that I'll have to call the fire department to get you out of there." She sat down and took off her shoes. Eddie placed both of her feet on Jamie's shoulder.

"Be careful Eddie, your leg," Jamie warned. He knew they hadn't been mindful of that.

"Well you should have thought of that," Eddie playfully scolded then pulled her legs back and pushed Jamie down the shoot with all her might.

Jamie flew through the shoot and landed in the pool with an even bigger thud than he had before. One of the red balls flew up and bopped April on the head. Jamie looked to see if the baby was going to cry, but instead of that, she shocked him. She pulled her little arm back and with coordination beyond her age pitched it at his head. "Ba…" She announced proud of herself.

Eddie appeared out of the shoot a moment later. April picked up another ball and showed it to her mother. "Ba…" she told Eddie then tossed it at Jamie again.

Each time April threw a ball, she announced it and hit Jamie on the head. "April, what is this ball?" Jamie asked wanting to see how bright she really was. "Boo." She told him.

"This one?" Jamie prompted.

"Geen," she replied.

Eddie this is incredible!" Jamie exclaimed. "He's a musical genius and she's a regular genius…" Eddie smiled at Jamie, they had never been more proud than they were that moment, devoid of shoes and rolling together in a ball pool at Chuck E Cheese.

Jamie and Eddie carried out two sleepy children after playing another half hour in the ball pool. On their way home, Jamie passed by a Toys R Us. "Sit tight with the kids, I want to see if they have something I want to use with April." Jamie sprinted into the store leaving Eddie with two sleeping kids.

Eddie looked back at the two babies, "you guys are really lucky. We love you both so much. April, it'll be okay. Daddy won't be mad at you when Mommy asks him for a divorce. He'll still love you so much."

Jamie came back to the car with a medium size bag, there were two small stuffed toys in there, one for each, and a deck of flash cards. "What are those for?" Eddie asked.

"She's got so many words, I want to see how she does on her letters and numbers," Jamie told Eddie. "My Mom said I was doing it a little older than her, she might have an IQ 150 or higher and if she does you and Tom should capitalize on it now. I'm going to start Max doing voice and piano when he's two, no one will train him sooner."

"I'll train him while you wait, you can bring him a few times a week, we'll get to see each other…"

"We will, we'll work harder to do it, I'll get Danny to help and soon…"

Eddie smiled, "Soon…" Jamie tipped his lips and kissed her as they pulled into the driveway.

April went right into her bed, but Max woke and held onto Eddie. "Eddie lala…" he requested in his baby voice. Eddie smiled, "I'll be right up."

"I'll wait I don't' want you on the steps alone with that leg, you over did it the last few days," Jamie sighed. "I'll be in the kitchen."

Eddie sat on the rocker and held Max. She slowly rocked and sang, Max held on tight. He loved his Daddy and all his men folk just fine, but this felt special and he really liked it. There was something different and Max felt it when Eddie rocked him. He only held out about twenty minutes before falling asleep.

Jamie helped Eddie up the steps, "This leg is really swollen, let's get it up on pillows and you can rest. We can watch a movie."

Eddie smiled, "Let's watch the Pacifier. I remembered that movie when we were swimming in the ball pool. The kid lost his diaper in there…"

Jamie laughed, "So glad that didn't happen, getting stuck was bad enough."

Jamie ordered the movie then sat down on the bed with Eddie. He pulled her closer to him and laid with her in his arms. Neither one initiated more that night, the caressing and the gentle loving pecks were enough as they rested in each other's arms laughing at the antics of the family on the show. "Here it is, here it is!"

Jamie turned up the volume and they both laughed as a kid with headgear proclaimed loudly, "No freestyling in the ball pool!"

Eddie made him rewind it, four times.

Anita heard the laughter coming from upstairs, they only had a few more nights together, their love was so true and so strong. She knew it wasn't going to be very long before Ms Eddie said enough, but until she did, Anita decided she would do all she could to help. She had for Mr. Tom, and Ms. Eddie was just as good and kind to her. She'd be an equal opportunity cupid.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter Fifty Six

Jamie let Eddie sleep in the next morning, he went down to help Anita with the kids' breakfast. When they were done eating, Jamie took April on his lap. "Look at these, baby….these are special cards." The cards had animals on them and the sounds they made. "Look at this, this is a dog…can you say dog?"

April said something akin to dog and Jamie smiled. "Dog says "Woof Woof…"

Jamie showed her the card for three other animals then went back to the dog. Before she was even asked April said, "Woof Woof…"

Jamie beamed with pride in this little girl, she showed the card to Max and told him. "Woof Woof…" Max wasn't interested in the cards.

Over the next few days, Jamie and Eddie bonded with the kids, Eddie singing with Max and April doing cards with Jamie. They took walks, went for drives and on a cool, rainy night all sat by the electric fire and watched the Aristocats The kids and Jamie fell asleep during it. Eddie took out her phone and worked to get a picture of the four of them, this little family, they needed to be together more than ever. In order for that to happen though, she had to tell Tom.

Eddie was up all night that evening thinking about it. Tomorrow was her last night in Jamie's arms for…she didn't' even know how long.

The next morning, Eddie and Jamie woke as they fell asleep, in one another's arms. They heard a soft knock at the door, Anita was there smiling at them. On a silver tray, she held a hand written invitation for them.

Eddie took the note, "You are cordially invited to a five course dress dinner in the grand dining room, evening attire is required. Courtesy of Anita, babysitting provided."

Eddie looked up at her housekeeper and loyal friend, "Anita, what…"

"I know true love when I see it, and it goes both ways. I can't betray Mr. Tom and I can't betray you either. You two are in love, your lives just didn't go the right way. I'll help you like I help him." She turned on her heel and left them dumfounded.

Jamie had to go home to get his proper attire. He would do that later while Eddie was showering and getting ready. It was important to Eddie that Jamie not see her in her dress until dinner, if they were going to have a romantic date, they were going to do it right.

Jamie had an appointment with his therapist, then he swung by his place for the outfit he knew Eddie would love on him. She always liked French cut suits and him dark colors, he put together an ensemble she wouldn't be able to wait to take off.

For her part, Eddie worked with Anita's sister to get her hair just so. She had it curled then had the top layers pulled into Jamie's silver comb, with the rest lying free. The dress she chose was new, at least for Jamie, and a new style for her all together. Anita was busy making their Italian dinner and the music for the night would be that theme as well. Jamie and Eddie both dreamed of seeing Italy, they used to talk about it in the RMP. They never told Claudia or Tom about that desire, it was their private wish.

Jamie got dressed in the guest room and Eddie in her own bedroom. Anita finished cooking the meal and had her sister's assistance with the babies. Anita told them when the dinner was ready individually. Jamie waited for Eddie at the bottom of the steps looking sharp and dashing in his charcoal French cut, double breasted suit and black shirt. He did not wear a tie, in fact, he left the two top buttons on his shirt opened the way Eddie liked it. He'd given himself a close shave, then used a conservative amount of Eddie's favorite aftershave.

When Eddie saw Jamie waiting for her, her breath caught in her throat. He looked so handsome, she wanted to run down the steps and throw herself into his strong arms, but she'd taken such time with her own appearance, she held back.

Jamie's heart skipped a beat as Eddie began to descend the stairs. She was a vision in a sapphire blue, low cut, halter dress with an open back. The hemline was just above her knee, revealing the lower half of her shapely legs. The dress flowed freely, moving with each curve of Eddie's body and swoosh of her hips. She wore a sensible low heel pump and no panty hose or stockings. When Eddie reached Jamie, his mouth was dry. He could barely manage to give her the single long stem rose he picked up for the occasion. "Eddie, you look…"

"Oh, take a picture, it will last longer,' Anita laughed. She wanted them to get the date going. "In fact, give me your phones I'll take a picture for you then we'll all go out the babies and my sister and me. Luigi will be your waiter and Marco will provide the music. Smile now."

Eddie and Jamie smiled brightly for the picture, holding tight to one another as Anita snapped photos they hoped would adorn a family album.

Jamie and Eddie could not let go of one another. They were alone in the candlelight, they held onto each other as tight as they could. They knew in their hearts there would be other nights, but it was still a bittersweet moment for them now. Jamie swayed with Eddie in his arms. They danced to a song no one could hear except the two of them.

The candles burned on the table, it was adorned with black lace and decorated with red roses. They could hear the violin tuning in the distance but it didn't' matter as Jamie held Eddie tight and they danced.

Jamie nuzzled Eddie's hair, "You look so beautiful, each time I see you dressed up I think you could never look more beautiful and each time you prove me wrong."

Eddie blushed a bit, of course she liked compliments, but they meant more from Jamie than anyone else. "Thank you, I bough this dress for the next police benefit, for you, since you once said you loved me in blue and you love to touch my skin so much." Jamie was absently stroking her skin now.

"I do…and I got this suit knowing you love the cut," Jamie confessed. "For the same reason."

Eddie leaned up and gave Jamie a short kiss. He pulled her tighter, wanting to hold her longer. "Are these shoes okay for your leg? You haven't been taking care of it…"

Eddie shrugged, her leg hurt in the shoes, but this was date night. Jamie surprised her when he steered her to a chair and knelt down like Prince Charming to remove her shoes.

"Jamie, I can't.." Eddie protested. She wanted to look nice for him…

"Ssh," was the quick reply as Jamie too removed his socks and shoes. "So much better and now if you want, you can stand on my feet when we dance."

Eddie stood on her tip toes and gave Jamie another light kiss. Before Jamie could deepen the display, the dinner bell rang and signaled the arrival of their first course.

Anita's meal was well balanced and well planned, a perfect mix of Eddie and Jamie's favorites. There was a spicy vegetable gazpacho for the first course, and a salmon and shrimp salad for the second. Their pasta course was a serving of five cheese pork ravioli in a delicate sauce. "Oh, I'm nearly stuffed and we didn't even get to the main course." Eddie sat back and covered her belly with her hands. "This is really nice."

Jamie smiled at Eddie and kissed the hand he was holding. "Anita is a sweetie," Jamie smiled. "I will remember her this Christmas for sure. How about a dance while we wait for the next course…if your leg…"

"My leg is good," Eddie smiled. "I want to be in your arms."

Jamie stood and buttoned his suit jacket, he pulled Eddie close as the violinist played. She laid her head on his chest and listened to the beat of Jamie's heart over the music. Jamie held Eddie as tight as he could, he didn't want to have to say goodbye in the morning any more than she wanted him to say it.

"I'm going to miss this," Jamie murmured. "I'm going to miss being together every day, every night. I'm going to miss doing all the family things."

Eddie took a deep breath, "I can't anymore Jamie. I can't…"

Jamie's heart ran cold, "What do you mean you can't?" Was this the end, was she really going to end things tonight?

"I can't keep doing this." Eddie leaned into Jamie's arms. "I can't. I don't love Tom, I keep trying to make this work until November then ask him for a divorce but that's still six more weeks and I can't.. I need my family together now, however that will be. I need this little family, I can't keep getting a taste of it and having to see it end. I can't."

Jamie breathed and involuntary sigh of relief. He was glad that she wasn't meaning to end their involvement, they were far too invested now to try to do that. "Okay," Jamie replied. "Okay, we can tell him together or…"

"No, I have to be honest with him and do it alone," Eddie replied. "I have no choice. April and I have to live the truth and this is not it. It's not fair to anyone, especially April. I can't be the mother she deserves like this or the mother Max deserves it and he needs it so bad."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "All right, you do it as you need to for you. You do it and I'll be right there next to you in any way you want me to be. Partners…"

Eddie looked up into Jamie's eyes. "Partners."

Jamie tilted Eddie's chin up and kissed her gently, their tongues brushing each other. The kiss was soft and sensual, their hunger taking a back seat to the urge for tenderness.

The main course was brought out, a succulent beef tenderloin, Oscar style, with potatoes and asparagus. Jamie and Eddie both cut their asparagus in half, she gave him the stalk and he gave her the tip before beginning to eat, turning their talk to other things, instead of their upcoming separation.

By the time dessert was served, Jamie and Eddie were having trouble staying apart. Jamie kept holding Eddie tight, she kept burrowing into his arms. She had responded so well to his massage a few nights ago…tonight he'd reprise that role for her.

Eddie was thinking the same thing as she finished her slice of Junior's cheesecake. Tonight, she would make sure she was in the front of Jamie's mind during the rest of this transition, tonight, she'd give him something to miss.

Jamie carried Eddie up the staircase, leaving the mess for the waiter to clean up. With tenderness, he laid her down on the bed and began to kiss her. Their bare feet touched, Jamie's rough and callused, Eddie's smooth and soft. Slowly, Jamie worked off Eddie's dress leaving her in a sexy pair of panties and no bra. He didn't want to get any oil on her beautiful dress, one she bought just for him.

Jamie removed his own clothes, with Eddie's small hands helping him put out his shirt tail and open his pants. They lay together, skin on skin, each in just their undies for a long time, relishing in the feel of his hair roughened chest on her smooth, sleek breasts.

Jamie reached into his gym bag and pulled out a bottle of peppermint oil. He used it on his feet and calf when they bothered him after work. Slowly, he opened the bottle and looked at Eddie lying still, waiting for his ministrations. He placed his hands around her small feet and began working her muscles with his palms and fingers. "I want you to breath slow and deep, in through your nose out through your mouth."

She obeyed, the scent of peppermint wafting up through her nostrils. Jamie kept his touch gentle but useful. He ran his fingers up and down the curve of her feet and the slender, well toned calves. Even with his hands on her lower legs, Eddie was getting excited for more. Jamie smiled to himself as her hips moved and back and forth while he continued to work his hands up the delicate expanse of her back. "It feels good, doesn't it?

She let out a husky moan. " You have no idea."

"Oh, but I do." he whispered. "I like making you feel good. I like it when you make me feel good too, we'll do that tonight. We've got tonight, and so many other nights too."

Jamie didn't let up his touch until he reached Eddie's neck. After making his way to her neck he concentrated on the knots working each muscle until he felt the tension dissipate. Then he began making his way slowly back down her shoulder blades towards her waist. As his hands and fingers worked, he found it hard not to think about the pressure between his thighs. Eddie's body was lying still except when he would rub his body against hers. Then she'd shift and shiver. She was lost in his touch, so lost in the feel of her muscles beneath his hands that she was shocked when her orgasm rocketed through her. A loud moan escaping her lips as her fingernails dug into the sheets.

Jamie looked down at her. Her face flushed and sated. Each time he felt she couldn't get more lovely, she surprised him like this. Jamie spun Eddie around and rolled to hold her tight and close in his arms. She had responded much quicker and faster than he anticipated. That, was always pleasant for them both. Eddie gave a little gasp, Jamie worried he might have pulled her too hard. "Oh, Eddie, I'm so sorry!"

"Ssh," Eddie whispered. "Ssh, don't."

She pulled him forward, his hot tongue lashing out to trace her lips before plunging deeper. His fingers grazed over the skin of her back. He kissed her again as his hands cupped her breasts, measuring the weight of them in his palms. He rubbed her nipples between his fingers feeling them tighten. His hands gripped her hips as he rolled her beneath him. His mouth instantly finding her neck he sucked on her skin there before moving down to capture a nipple between his lips. He lapped at the hardened nub moving from one to the other. Once satisfied he began moving down her body licking and kissing his way down her ribs. He stopped to dip his tongue into her belly button.

"So perfect," Jamie whispered. "So soft…" Jamie rubbed his cheek up and down caressing Eddie's stomach with his cheek. "Oh Eddie…I adore you."

He smiled as she moaned. Her fingers digging into her pillow. He raised away from her to give himself leverage, he needed to get to her. "Raise your hips." She did as he asked and he removed her panties in one fluid motion.

Jamie rested on his knees he gazed into her eyes. "I want to have you, Eddie," he murmured. He raised her legs to his shoulders he leaned into her. His mouth laid kisses on her inner thighs and her wet mound before his tongue darted out. He ran his tongue in lazy circles over her and guided a finger into her hot moist center causing her to buck against his hand.

"Wet..,hot…feels so good, " he mumbled. "Oh…Eddie you…I…"

"Oh…. Jamie…I."

Within minutes she was writhing helplessly beneath him.

"I want..." she moaned.

"What do you want Eddie. Tell me"

"To see you, to be close to you…Oh…"

He leaned up onto his knees and sighed, "Let me, she whispered. Her hand reached down to grip his velvety skin. She lowered her eyes down the length of his body. She gasped as her eyes fixated on him. Her head lowered to his flesh. Her tongue trailed over him down the length of him before taking him into her mouth. She stoked him and sucked her way slowly up and down until he pulled her up by her hair.

"I want to be in you..." he moaned.

He pushed her back and settled his body between her thighs.

"Look at me. I want to see your eyes." he pleaded.

Her eyes fluttered open and she felt tears threaten at what she found looking back at her. Pure desire swept through her.

He saw her eyes grow dark. "Do you want me Eddie?"

"I need you. I adore you."

He kissed her then long and hard guiding just the tip into her opening.

"What do you need honey?"

"You, I need all of you!" she cried.

And with that he thrust forward buried to the hilt before pulling back and thrusting again. Her fingernails found his back, her legs wrapped around his waist as they met each other thrust for thrust.

"God Eddie, so tight, so perfect." He ground out as he thrust deeper and harder.

Their eyes locked as they watch the pleasure play across their features. They were lost in each other's moans. He kissed her deeply their tongues mating like their bodies, fast and furious. He could feel the pull of his climax edging closer as he broke the kiss. Her body tightened around him. He felt her muscle convulse around him as she felt his seed erupt deep within her. He thrust into her a few more times then collapsed onto her. Her arms came around him to hold him to her. Not wanting to ever let him go.

After a few minutes, their breathing returned to normal. He leaned onto his arms taking some of his weight off her. He began placing kisses over her face before finding her lips and drawing her into a searing kiss. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes as he rolled onto his side pulling her to him.

"I love you," Eddie whispered. "You always know what's right, you always know what I need and you care enough…"

"I do…I do care enough and I always will. I love you more than my life Eddie. I honestly do."

Eddie met Jamie's eyes, "I know…You don't have to say it for me to know." Eddie leaned over and gave Jamie another kiss, this one tender and sweet. When they broke apart again, she laid down on his chest and shut her eyes, tonight they would sleep, tomorrow they would part ways, but each of them knew deep down their love would carry them through until they could lie together again as one.

Jamie and Eddie woke early the next morning and each got their kids up and dressed. Both the children felt the tension. Jamie put the suitcases in the hall then they prepared some eggs and toast for the kids. Jamie fed Max, Eddie fed April. Anita kept to herself to allow the foursome time. Tom was due home later today.

Eddie felt sick, the idea of having this ripped away from her was too much. She felt tears welling in her eyes, but there were two innocent babies. She needed to get it together.

Jamie barely ate his breakfast either. He was worried about Eddie, she was getting down and depressed. That was not his Eddie, he was here to keep an eye on her now but would Tom, would Tom do that or would he be too involved in the picture to pay attention to the frame?

Once they cleaned up the kids, Jamie stood and held Eddie in his arms. "So I'll talk to my Dad and Danny, you talk to Kara and we'll work it out, okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm going to do it, right after Connie's funeral. Will you be with me there? For a little while?"

Jamie smiled and nodded, "Yes, of course I will be there, honey. Of course…I love you, I'll be there and we'll make sure we have contact."

Eddie touched her forehead to Jamie's, "I don't' want to say goodbye to you. I want to be in your arms forever, I want.."

"I know,' Jamie replied trying to keep his emotions in check. He had to stay strong for Eddie and the kids. "I love you so much. We will have our family, the four of us. You hold on for me. Hold on to me…"

Eddie nodded, "Goodbye Jamie. I…"

"Not goodbye, just…not right now. I love you…We'll be together again soon."

Eddie smiled and gave Jamie another hug. "Let me say goodbye to this cutie pie. Max, you have a hug for me?" Eddie picked Max up and held the baby tight. "You be a good boy for Daddy, okay?"

Max held onto Eddie with his chubby little arms. He loved being in this house with Eddie, he loved how it felt to be snuggled and hugged by this pretty and soft lady that smelled nice and held him close. Max fastened his arms around Eddie's neck and held tighter.

"Oh, thank you for the big hug," Eddie whispered. "Go on with your Daddy now and I'll see you soon okay? You come sing with Eddie."

"No no…" Max whimpered. "No go…NO…" They never expected him to cry like that.

Jamie placed April into her high chair then reached out to take Max. "Come on, Buddy, it's time to go home now. Give Eddie a kiss…"

"No…" The baby was sobbing. Normally, Max still had a baby cry, a squeal or a screech, but this sound was a more mature cry…and it hurt to hear.

Jamie worked his fingers around Max and gently pulled the boy from Eddie's arms. If anything the boy cried even harder kicking his legs and reaching for Eddie with both arms.

Eddie bit her lip to keep from crying out of the pain she was feeling for the little boy. Jamie had tears running down his cheeks, Eddie had tears running down her own. "Go, take him before it gets worse. Text me later, I'll see you tomorrow."

Jamie nodded, holding the hysterical little boy. Eddie scooped April up and held her, she cried along with her mother.

Eddie turned her back, she couldn't watch their family be ripped apart. She held April to her chest and rocked her back and forth. She cried as hard as she could remember. She heard the door open and close, then hit her knees.

Anita helped Jamie get a crying Max out of the house along with his bags. Jamie secured the upset boy in his seat. "It's okay, Max. We'll see Eddie again, it's okay…" Jamie was trying to wipe his eyes. Anita leaned over and kissed Max on the cheek. "Be a good boy, I'll see you soon…"

Jamie got into the car and turned to smile at Anita, "Can you give this to Eddie for me? And please…please watch over my girls. Please."

"Of course I will, you bring the little one, you need any help at all, I will help you." Anita kissed Jamie on the cheek. "Drive safely please"

Jamie nodded, "Of course, Thank you for everything you've done for us. Thank you for everything."

Anita smiled, "I'll go to Ms. Eddie now. Please take care of my little cutie, he's such a sweet boy."

Jamie nodded and pulled away from the curb while he still had the nerve. When he got to the end of the expansive driveway he looked in his rearview mirror. Jamie saw his little son sobbing in the back seat and in the distance that beautiful mansion where he left the loves of his life... it was hard to breathe.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter Fifty Seven

Anita stepped back into the house, she heard both her girls crying. April was crying environmentally; her Mommy was upset and she didn't know why. Anita took April and Eddie into her arms, "It's going to be all right, Ms. Eddie. Little Max will be okay and you and April will be too."

Eddie sniffled, "I know but it hurts," Anita soothed. "I know how much it does hurt, believe me."

Eddie laid against Anita, "Was he…was he still crying when they drove off? The baby, was he?"

"Yes," Anita replied. "He loves you and he doesn't understand. He's still so little, so is April but she's okay now, right sweetie?" April had calmed when Anita held her. "Jamie gave me this to give to you. He was having a hard time too, but I believe in you both. It will be okay."

Eddie took the letter from Anita, "Can you hold April for a bit until I clean up and…I'll be down soon."

Anita agreed giving Eddie privacy to read her letter.

 _Dearest Eddie,_

 _The pain is overwhelming. We spent the last 12 days in your house, side by side, heart to heart. I know that we are never apart from each other, a love like ours is always felt in the heart and soul, it is never long absent._

 _I want to be the husband of your heart as I have been now nearly two years but that isn't enough for you or for me. We need to move on and build our family, but I will wait for you to be ready. You are saying it now that you're ready, but there is a pain in your eyes that I don't want amplified by pressure from me. Please don't' read my silence and my patience as indifference, it's nothing even close. It's my love for you allowing me to do what is best for this family and for now that's waiting in the wings._

 _You are my heart,_

 _Jamie_

For his part, Jamie did his best of focus on the drive home. Max cried himself to sleep in the back of the car a few minutes before he got home. "Hey there," Henry smiled seeing Jamie carry Max. "He's been crying huh?"

Jamie nodded, "He didn't want to let go of Eddie, held her for dear life. About did me in Pop, broke my heart."

"You two have to do something, it's getting silly now," Henry replied. "You look drained, go shower, take a rest, we have a cop to bury tomorrow and you know the architect isn't going to be taking care of her like you would even if he does respect the uniform."

"I know, Pop.' Jamie gave Max a kiss on his cheek then headed up to unpack and shower. He began to sort laundry from clean clothing. A scented envelope with Eddie's lip stain came out. Jamie smiled, she thought of everything.

He opened the envelope, and read to himself.

Dear Jamie,

These last two weeks have been such a roller coaster for us and you have been my rock, my steady heart. I was not afraid, I have been sad, angry, happy, joyful…but never afraid. I feel so safe with you, I feel so at home with you and it's getting too hard to keep pretending. I love you so much, and it's time for us to be a family.

I meant what I said, I am ready to head home to you, to be your wife, Max's mom and share April as best I can with Tom. That will hurt, but I know you'll be there with me to hold my hand when I miss her. We have been partners forever, bonded by blood and by love.

Until we are together, hold my boy close, protect yourself, if I lost you I couldn't go on…really I couldn't.

All my love,

Eddie

Jamie felt his heart clench, even the love letter had a hint of desperation in it. Tomorrow, if Tom was at the funeral, Jamie would have a word with him, he'd blame Connie's death but ask for his due diligence, just as he did Anita…until he could do it himself.

All Eddie could do all day was cry. She tried to eat, to have some tea, to play with April, but all they could do was cry. She missed Jamie so much her whole body ached. Tom was due home any minute and she was a hot mess.

Eddie was sitting with her back to their bay window rocking April who was fussing and holding her mother. "Mommy's got you," Eddie whispered. "Mommy's got you baby girl…"

Eddie heard the car door close, she turned around and saw Tom and Sue standing by the side of her car. Tom reached out and caressed the outside of Sue's cheek. Eddie took a breath, it was torture for them both.

"I'm going to talk to her, Sue," Tom assured as he held Sue tight. "I'm going to talk to her as soon as I feel she's…her partner committed suicide and she was shot, I can't go in there and drop a divorce in her lap, she'd never do that to me."

Sue nodded, "I know and you have the precious little girl to think of too, but I can't keep living this lie Tom. I can't do it. Please make this right, it's past time to make this thing right."

"I know," Tom touched their foreheads together and lifted her chin. "I love you, I promise this will be rectified. I promise."

Sue nodded, "You know you can't lose me, but you can hurt me and I really don't want you to do that. We can get a new house, you can take care of April and Eddie…I love her as if she was my own little girl…"

"I know," Tom replied. "We'll make it right. I'll see you day after tomorrow at work and for our dinner at the Italian Restaurant."

Sue leaned up and placed a kiss on Tom's lips. Eddie shuddered as she watched, that was love, she and Jamie had love…she and Tom they had life.

Tom came inside five minutes later seeing Eddie holding April with tears drenching her baby hair. "Eddie," Tom sighed and moved over to her. "Oh, Eddie I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. Wasn't Jamie staying?"

Eddie nodded, "He left, he had to go home,' Eddie replied. "I'm sorry, I…"

"I know," Tom soothed "April, daddy's home, look what I got you…" He handed her a little stuffed koala bear. April kept crying, even when Tom took her.

"She's stressed out," Eddie replied. 'Seeing me like this since Connie, it's hard on her."

"Well, I'm here…why don't you go up and lie down, rest your leg and we'll talk a little later okay?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah…we will, okay. That's a good idea…lying down is a good idea." That was all Eddie had the strength to do anyway.

Eddie stayed in bed all night. The weight of parting with Jamie and Max and Connie's upcoming funeral was too much for her. Eddie laid on her side, wiping the tears, rubbing her face raw. Anita brought her supper, she didn't touch it. Tom brought April several times, Eddie would take her girl and snuggle her in close and tight. The baby seemed to understand her mother's pain.

"Eddie, maybe you should reconsider going to the funeral tomorrow," Tom spoke as she sat on the bed. "I have never seen you so distraught and you are still recovering from a gunshot wound…"

"I have to go, Tom," Eddie sniffled. "He was my partner, I have to go for his wife and family, you don't understand, I can't miss something like this."

Tom reached for Eddie, taking her hand in his. "I'm worried about you. You've been lying up here all day. You didn't even tease me about presents."

"Don't you think we are past that point?" Eddie asked. "I think we are. I know we are. April is the little girl, she got her toy. I'm sure what you got was beautiful but I am still recovering from being shot and I'm…I feel like I failed Connie, I do."

Tom reached down and kissed Eddie's head. "Well downstairs there is a tub of rocky road with hot fudge and Three Ninjas the movie from the nineties on Blu-ray, what do you say?"

Eddie smiled, "I say that my leg hurts and I'm tired but I'd love a bowl of ice cream." Eddie had to try, she had a family she was planning for a few days from now to talk to Tom, but until then…

Tom headed to get Eddie the ice cream and texted Sue, "She's a mess, I definitely have to wait until after the funeral is over. I'm so sorry it went so far."

Sue didn't text back.

The morning of the funeral was bright, it didn't look like a funeral day. It looked like a happy day, a celebration. As Eddie dressed, that was what she thought. Connie, he was a happy guy, at least on the surface. He liked to laugh, he liked to play, he loved being outside. It was a fitting day to celebrate his life.

Eddie wore her uniform and kept Jamie's cameo pin on her bra, near her heart. If she ever needed it, she needed it now. Tom wore his navy blue suit to match her uniform. He would sit with her and support her like a husband should, they were both very good at doing their duty.

Eddie sat with the SVU detectives, Tom sat in the back with the other civilians. Jamie was seated with his platoon at the 12th, in his full-dress uniform. Connie was being given a proper sendoff even though he had not been the picture of a model officer at the end of his life.

The entire time the Priest and Frank were speaking, Jamie was watching Eddie. She was holding up very well from his vantage point but he knew in his heart that she was far from okay. Tom was there, he saw him coming in and acknowledged him with a nod. He saw Tom put a card and check envelope in the box, the family was probably set for life. He was a good man like that.

Jamie's eyes never left Eddie. It was odd to see her in uniform, she was plain clothes now and usually at events she was dressed up as Eddie Manning, not Detective Janko. He missed her so much. He promised to get close today, he'd keep that promise no matter what.

During the actual funeral, Eddie broke ranks and sat with Tom. Frank and their CO were talking about Connie and all the good he'd done, Frank in true character, alluded to the fact that he'd made mistakes and that fact made him human. Eddie broke then, she was human…she hurt too, she made mistakes too.

Eddie began to shake. Tom put his arms around her, holding her up. Jamie moved closer and closer as the service continued, Tom didn't' know how to help her, not like he did. Eddie needed him, he had a promise to keep to her.

"Eddie, ssh…" Tom soothed. "There's nothing you could do honey. There's nothing you could do, he didn't ask for help, there was nothing you could do."

Eddie let Tom hold her and support her, she couldn't seem to get a grip. She could smell Jamie's aftershave but when she looked he was still to far away. Her heart cried out for him to come and hold her, but her voice remained silent save for her tears.

"The family of Detective Gallagher would like to invite every one to attend a lunch in his honor at Killmeyer's Beer Garden, Staten Island," the priest offered ending the funeral services. The crowd began to dissipate almost immediately from the area until finally only Eddie, Tom, and Jamie were left.

Jamie approached carefully and looked at Tom before stepping closer to Eddie. Tom backed off, he didn't know how to comfort his wife in this moment, he didn't' understand the partnership draw, that was a cop thing, Jamie would understand it.

Jamie took Eddie in his arms and held on tight. Tom backed away towards the row of retreating cars to give them some time and space together. Jamie might be able to reach Eddie on a level Tom couldn't. He hoped so, he cared for Eddie, she was his wife, and her pain was his pain, that was part of their vows, a part he took seriously.

Jamie began to rock back and forth with Eddie, "I know…I know, but it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is!" Eddie exclaimed from the safety of Jamie's chest. "I'm an awful person. My partner is being buried and I'm hysterical because my husband came home, and you had to leave. These tears aren't for Connie, I cried for him with you. This is about me, I'm an awful selfish person. selfish person. I'm heartbroken about Connie but these are selfish tears too"

"No," Jamie crooned. "Oh, Eddie no, you're not awful or selfish. I've been sad too, I'm crying for you too. That just makes us human, it means we love each other so much that's all. Max cried all night, and Linda says he's still upset this morning, looking for you, calling you with his blankie. It's affected all of us. We are grieving, the loss of Connie and also the loss of so much time together, but that's okay. We'll fix that, you tell Tom when you are ready, and we'll fix it."

Eddie slipped her arms up underneath Jamie's shoulders to be held closer, Jamie's hand petted her hair as he swayed her. Tom looked on, he could tell from Eddie's body language she was calming down in Jamie's arms. He couldn't get her to do that and he knew why. While he loved Eddie more than his own life and cherished April and the life they built, he didn't love her the way he loved Sue, and Eddie didn't love him either, not like that.

Perhaps, Sue was right. Perhaps they were all living a lie and hurting more than helping. When Eddie was a little calmer he'd speak to her about it. His wife was home in Jamie Reagan's arms, those were the arms that should hold her now and he had to let it be.

Jamie stayed by Eddie's side all through the lunch. She rode in the car to the restaurant with Tom, but as soon as they arrived Jamie took over again. Tom stepped aside to speak to Frank and Connie's widow.

"Eddie, please eat," Jamie nearly begged. She was only playing with the plate of food that he'd made for her.

"I'm not hungry," Eddie replied. "My leg is hurting and I'm very tired. I want to leave."

"I know, but if you leave now…" Jamie sighed and softly touched her leg under the table. "I'm sorry you hurt, it's my fault on that, I didn't let you rest."

"I didn't want to rest," Eddie replied. "All right, a few bites."

Eddie picked at the food some more then talked quietly with Connie's widow and other members of the SVU team. Jamie took his opportunity to find Tom. "Can I speak to you please?" he asked calmly.

Tom nodded and excused himself, "I was hoping to speak to you as well, thank you for taking such good care of Eddie while I was gone. I wanted to get home to her sooner and have more contact…"

"It was my pleasure, Eddie is my partner and we've been best friends for years, what are friends for?" Jamie asked. "But, now I need to ask you a favor, please watch her closely. She is not herself since the shooting and now this. She had a plate of steak and potatoes and she barely touched it."

Tom knew for his wife that did mean a crisis was brewing. "I will, perhaps a doctor…"

"I'm not sure if a doctor is right, Eddie will probably close off if you try that. I think it's just going to be time and patience but I'm concerned as her friend and partner, I haven't seen her behave this way before," Jamie reiterated.

"I will certainly keep her close and Anita will as well," Tom replied. "I know she misses your little boy Max, we talked about him last night. You and he are welcome to come over so he can play with April whenever you would like. Eddie mentioned he's gifted for music."

Jamie nodded, "Yes he is and he responds to Eddie, not like other people, she's a special soul and she's in pain now. It hurts to see that."

Tom shook Jamie's hand, "Come over and see her more, I think it will do her good to have contact with her friends until she's back at work. I'll be taking her to the doctor tomorrow for her leg again. I do appreciate you helping."

The two men shook hands and Tom resumed his roll with Eddie. As they prepared to take their leave, Eddie headed off to the ladies room. Jamie was lying in wait in the coat closet between the two bathrooms. His arm snaked out and pulled Eddie in close to him. Their lips met before she even registered Jamie's touch.

Eddie melded against Jamie's chest, his lips were her signal it was him, her body remembered his touch. "I miss you," he whispered softly when they broke apart. "Perhaps a play date soon for the kids, we can see about one for us too if Tom's at work. Even holding you is enough, just this…"

Eddie smiled at Jamie and kissed him again, "In a couple days, call me and we'll try. I'm going to talk to him in a few days too."

"Wait until it feels right, April isn't vulnerable, he'd never divide the two of you up, but I know you are concerned about straining her, do right by her, she'll be my daughter too and I want the best for both of our kids."

Eddie smiled, "This is why I love you, putting others first, thinking of me and April first. One more kiss?"

Jamie was happy to give her one more stirring kiss, hoping it would carry them through.

Jamie and Eddie managed over the next few weeks to see onc another three times. Tom worked late a couple of nights, supposedly, and Eddie took advantage of her time off to have Jamie over the house.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter Fifty Eight

They had begun making love almost immediately when Jamie arrived, this coupling hard and fast, their desire ruling their bodies instead of their hearts. The second time, Eddie turned to her side and began to kiss Jamie's cheek gently. Her body was so small next to Jamie's much longer one. He pulled her over so their stomach's touched. Jamie opened his lips and kissed Eddie soft and gentle. His hands skimmed her back, he was beginning to feel he ribs when he made love to her. Jamie moved his lips to her neck, "So soft…you are so soft." Eddie's skin reminded him of silk, when he touched her the sensation that shot through him made his blood race. She was small, her legs short but when they fastened around his hips, there was no deeper connection than him holding Eddie in his arms. Jamie dreamt of the day that this would be the way he'd come home, to his family, to his wife…to his Eddie.

Eddie sighed, "Oh, oh, yes…" She ran her hands up and down Jamie's sides. "You feel so good, I missed you so much the last couple days, I need…"

I know you do," Jamie murmured. "I know you do, I'm here. Jamie opened Eddie's legs gently with his hands, "Oh, you feel so good…"

Their hands massaged one another, their lips caressed one another, their bodies melded to one another as Jamie slipped into Eddie's opening. "Come home," she pleaded. Their special word now for the joining of their bodies.

"You're my home," Jamie whispered. "Relax for me, open…"

Eddie dropped her legs open, Jamie rose on his hips and met her, beginning to thrust, taking himself and Eddie to new heights. Each time they connected it was better, deeper, more sensual, more sacred, and that much harder to break away from.

They laid in bed together as the sun went down and Eddie whispered, "I'm talking to Tom this weekend. I'm settled, he's settled and it's definitely time to do it."

Jamie smiled at her and pecked her head, "Would you like me to keep April that night, I know you'll be stressed about her being here. Or would you like me to be there?"

"No," Eddie replied. "Well, yes, I'd love you to be there but I have to do this by myself. I know it won't destroy him, he will be free to be with the love of his life, but it's humiliating to have someone break up with you, ask for divorce, I want to spare him that. He's been good to me and to my little girl."

Jamie accepted Eddie's answer and moved over her again, "When's he coming home?"

"We have a half hour…." Eddie replied. "And you can certainly please me in a half hour…"

Eddie's arms went around Jamie's neck. He began to make love to her for the third time that night as tears slowly ran down her face. She loved connecting with him, she loved making love to Jamie and feeling like they were one, but the loss of him was more acute each time.

"Oh, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "Honey, don't cry. It's all right, we'll find more time. We will."

Eddie took a deep breath, "I know and I know it's me I…"

"Ssh," Jamie soothed. "Ssh, I love you so much. We'll make it, we will."

Just as he was about to slide into home base though they heard Anita through the intercom, "Mr. Tom, you are home early…" They froze in place.

"Oh, God Jamie" Eddie gasped. "I think he knows about us but if he sees it…"

Jamie was already off of Eddie and gathering his clothing, he didn't want to get caught literally with his pants down. He wasn't concerned for himself, but for Eddie, the pressure might ruin the progress they had made at helping her through her depression.

"He won't, I'll go out the balcony and down the trellis," Jamie assured her. "Just say you were tired or worked out or something. Here…your shirt and panties…"

Eddie hurried into her clothing. They could hear Anita regaling Tom with April's antics from her flashcard game earlier. "And she said Mew Mew…the cutest thing!"

Tom's laughter signaled the end of the conversation and the end of their time together as well. Jamie leaned over dressed except for his shoes, and kissed Eddie's lips. "I love you…" He then proceeded down the trellis leaving the shoes behind.

Eddie frantically made the bed and tripped over one of the forgotten shoes. "Jamie!" she called in a hard whisper as Tom's footsteps grew closer. "Here…" Eddie let the shoes fly. One of them landed on the concrete, the other richeted off Jamie's head knocking him into the rose bush beneath the trellis. Eddie knew Jamie met with the business end of that bush when his swear reached her ears second before Tom opened the bedroom door.

Jamie could barely make it home without swearing and he had to go pick up Max from daycare. Instead of prolonging the pain, he drove to Staten Island. Danny could play with his godson while hopefully Linda helped Jamie.

Max was fussing with a dirty diaper and Jamie was limping with a thorny behind. Jamie rang the bell and Sean arrived to open the door. "Oh, Max you stink buddy," he laughed taking his ripe little cousin. "Dad, Uncle Jamie is here…"

Danny came out of the kitchen and smiled, 'Hey, what brings you to this neck of the woods I thought you had plans."

"I did," Jamie sighed. "Changed them up a bit. Can you keep an eye on Max, I actually need to see Linda."

"Linda?" Danny was confused but the look on Jamie's face told him not to argue too much.

"She's upstairs, go on up, does…What's that stench?" Danny wrinkled his nose and looked at Max who giggled.

Jamie laid on Danny and Linda's bed with his bottom and upper thighs exposed. "How did you do this?" Linda asked removing several of the thorns with tweezers

"I tripped while I was running," Jamie told Linda as she worked. Linda knew there was no way he'd get this pattern of thorns by falling but she let it go, she'd push Danny about it later.

It took over an hour to get the thorns out and clean the skin. When Jamie came down, he felt a little better and Max smelled a lot better. "Thanks, Linda," Jamie smiled. "Come on, little man, it's time to go home and see Great Pop."

Max babbled, "Grey Pa…Unca…" She smiled at Danny, a huge grin showing off his teeth.

When Jamie left carrying Max, Linda looked at Danny. "Do you think that Jamie is sleeping with someone?"

Danny arched his eyebrow, "The Kid? Nah, he's too straight to be doing that. Why what was he here for?"

"Thorns,' Linda replied. 'He said he fell jogging but all the thorns were in his behind so…he fell on it, and hard from a distance, not a trip and fall for sure."

Danny started to laugh, "Oh I'm so buying him a donut to sit on…"

The next few weeks were busy for Jamie and Eddie. Both April and Max were sick, the social season was ending, and the holiday season kicking crime into higher gear. Max was spending more time with Henry than he was with Frank or Jamie that was for sure, and Jamie was too busy to notice that he and Max were often not alone.

Jamie got up one morning in late October to a chill in the air and a smile from Max. "Hey little guy, you doing okay today?" Jamie kissed him and saw him sneeze. "Uh oh…not again. You can't go to day care if you have sniffles, buddy."

"Pop, hey Pop…"

As it turned out, Henry was not an option for babysitting that day. He was sick as well and not able to keep up with Max, he was mobile and had his own mind. Eddie was still on leave and Max stayed very well with her, Jamie sent an emergency text.

"Of course," came the reply. "I would love to keep Max, April is sniffling too. We were going to the spa to do the steam for her sinuses. Can I bring Max?"

Jamie trusted Eddie and agreed that she could do what she suggested, it might held both babies feel better. Jamie and Eddie picked a meeting place to exchange Max and headed off.

Max clapped his hands and smiled "Eddie!" He reached out and Eddie took him in her arms. "Hey buddy, you ready to play with us today? Say bye to Daddy…"

Eddie was the only person, including Henry, Max went to that easily. Jamie smiled, "Be a good boy for Eddie, buddy. Daddy loves you."

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss. It was the first time they had been able to connect, it felt great to have Eddie's lips beneath his again. Eddie offered a gentle smile and touched her forehead to Jamie's before he turned to head out to work. Eddie put the baby in his car seat and headed off with both babies in tow.

Eddie took her charges to the sauna then to get some lunch at a local diner, a little chicken soup for her stuffy little ones. She was pretty sure both kids had allergies but she didn't' want to be too careful By the time she got them home, April was sleepy and Max had another blow out diaper. "Anita?" Eddie called then remembered she'd given the housekeeper the day off to go Christmas shopping. "Okay, April," Eddie told her baby girl. "Sit here and be a good girl for Mommy while I change Max, he's got stinkies…"

April seemed to understand and sat in her high chair beginning to play with the little fruits that were attached to her tray. Eddie jogged up the steps to the panic room so she could keep an eye on April while changing Max's diaper. He was crying and kicking feeling gross and sticky. Whenever Jamie had to give him the Tylenol, his tummy would get upset. "I know little guy," Eddie soothed. "I know… " Eddie looked at the camera, her little girl was happily entertaining herself, such a good baby.

While Eddie was busy with Max, she didn't realize that the door was open downstairs and the person that had been following her and Jamie from the day of his divorce was closing in on her family.

"There we go little man," Eddie whispered drying then dressing Max. "There we go, I'm so proud of you, such a good…"

"Waaaah…Waaaah…" April suddenly began to scream, a sound of terror and pain that shot through Eddie' mother's heart. Eddie looked up at the camera to see what was happening to make her baby cry so hard. She stepped back into the panic room with Max. There on the TV screen big as life was a tall man in black leather lifting her little girl out of the high chair.

Eddie's instincts kicked into high gear, she put Max down and locked the baby in the panic room. She grabbed her gun and took off down the steps as fast as she could on a still healing leg. "April!" Eddie shouted. "April, Mommy's coming…Bring back my baby!"

She could still see the abductor, but he had too big of a lead. Eddie wanted to fire at the car, to try to take out a tire and slow the vehicle down, but April wasn't even in her baby seat, it was too dangerous. Eddie ran with all the strength and speed she had, but not even her mother's love could give her enough drive to reach her little girl.

Just outside the gate, Eddie fell to her knees. Someone took her baby...someone had her baby girl.

Frantically, Eddie alerted the police, then with shaking hands called her partner, the one she always turned to in crisis to come to her, to help get her baby back.

"Hi, you've reached Jamie Reagan…" Eddie threw her phone in frustration. Damn it!


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter Fifty Nine

As Jamie's swing shift began, the fax machine on the table in the corner began to print out the amber alert issued for April. Without reading it, he grabbed the print out and went over to the podium. "Okay folks, not too much off the press today, a couple of items then we'll get you on your way. I know it's the end of October, but it's still pretty warm out so keep hydrated and if I hear anyone took off their vest…Well don't. We still have the pathological imposter on the loose, he was spotted the other day in Midtown so keep your eyes peeled for another fitting any of the 22 descriptions we got from Belleview.

"This just over the fax," Jamie began as the room fell quiet and Renzulli's call of "Ten hut," stopped the room in it's tracks. Jamie looked up to see Frank standing in the back of the room, raising one eyebrow. He'd gotten the alert about April just a little while ago and knew he'd need to be there to support and control his son.

Jamie looked down at the pile of papers and his eyes fell on the innocent face of adorable little…"April!"

Renzulli noticed the look on Jamie's face and stepped over, but his old boot pushed on. "Just released, and Amber Alert has been issued for 10 and a ½ month old April Manning, last seen with a talk, dark haired man, 6'2", about 190 lbs in a black pick up truck with New York partial plate AMT. She was taken from her home in Manhasset less than an hour ago, and…this one is personal, this one is the daughter of an NYPD detective…so let's do all we can to bring her home."

Jamie dismissed and pulled out his phone to call Eddie. He saw she'd called him, 6 times. He dialed her number as he moved to meet Frank. Voicemail…"Dad, what do you know? Is Max? I have to get out there."

"Max is safe, Eddie had put him into her panic room then went after the man that took April. So far, no ransom demand, no threats, not a single form of contact at all," Frank explained. "Tom's on his way home, Eddie is beside herself, she's needing you son. I'm heading there now to coordinate with Manhasset and make sure we are joined in bringing her home safe. You can ride with me."

Jamie felt sick to his stomach, someone had April, sweet, innocent little April that liked her kitty kat flashcard the very best of all and that called him "Dada" at the top of her little voice. Eddie's sweet, innocent April, her baby girl. "Tell them to hurry Dad."

Eddie held Max on her lap, her face was burning from the tears running down her cheeks. Eddie rocked Max back and forth consoling his tears, he was picking up on her stress. The mansion in Manhasset was crawling with police. Crime scene units were printing the entire house, processing the perimeter of the gate and the home itself. AV guys were checking the security footage. This wasn't the brightest kidnapper in the world, he showed himself, he didn't wear a hat or use thick gloves, he would want money, and Tom…

"Eddie!" Tom rushed into the house, his heart pounding. "Oh my God, are you okay? What happened?"

Tom tried to take Eddie in his arms but she refused to relinquish her death grip on Max. "He took her, he came in and took her. Just right from her chair…"

"Where were you? Where was Anita? Why was April left alone? Why is Max here?" Tom let his questions fly out.

"I was upstairs,' Eddie recalled with shaking breaths. "I told Jamie I'd babysit for Max, Henry is sick and Max has the sniffles so…day care won't take him. We were out and when I got home, she was fussing and he had a blow out diaper. I put her in her hi-chair to play with her little toy and she was fine so I took him to change. I used the cameras to check on her…she was okay."

Tom nodded, "What happened then?"

"I heard her scream, I never heard a cry like that so I went back to the cameras first and he had her…He had our baby girl…" Eddie broke into sobs again and buried her face in Max's downy hair.

"No, no…" Max told her. "No, no Eddie…no, no."

Tom rubbed the boys back. "Come here, Eddie needs a minute." Tom took Max but the boy screamed and kicked hard going to a virtual stranger. "Where's Anita to take him?"

"She's in the Bronx, with her sister," Eddie replied "Oh Tom, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry…I tried, I chased him, I ran…I was scared to shoot…"

Tom nodded and rocked Max, "Where's his family for him? He's so upset."

"I don't know, I called Jamie, he's on tour or something probably, I didn't call dispatch… I…I failed April, I couldn't fail Max too…" Eddie wiped her eyes. "I think I should…"

Tom began to rise, "I'll call."

"Eddie!" Jamie sprinted inside pushing past the police, running to get to Eddie. "Eddie, are you okay? Are you all right?"

"He has my baby, someone has her…" Eddie held onto Jamie and he held onto her. Jamie's tears were running down his face, he held Eddie tight.

"I'm so sorry," Jamie hiccupped. "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. If I found another sitter…"

Eddie shook her head, 'I should have taken them both upstairs, it's my fault, I love watching Max and he's a good boy. I should have taken them both."

While Jamie and Eddie consoled each other, Frank found the lead investigator and introductd himself. "I don't want to step on toes here, but this one is personal,' Frank explained. "Mrs. Manning is one of my cops, and April is one of our children, so I'd like to help all I can, NYPD resources, my own resources, anything to find April and bring her home."

"Of course, Sir, our Commissioner, Commissioner Bryce is en route, Mr. Manning is a generous benefactor and.." Frank nodded. "Excuse me, I'm going to check on my detective."

Eddie relished in the warm, strong hug she got from Frank. She needed a father's hug right now, she felt so lost and vulnerable. Her baby girl was missing, someone took from her care and that was too much for Eddie to bear. "We're going to get her back. Danny is on his way, Jamie is here, I'm here. When the ransom call comes in, we'll be ready."

"So you think this is about money?" Tom asked. "Someone needing money and didn't' ask, just took our baby. That's what you think?"

"I don't think anything yet," Frank replied letting Eddie go Jamie had taken Max from Tom and held him tight. The boy was settling in his father's arms, sucking his thumb and resting his little head.

"Usually, rich family…that's the idea. You're public Tom, you donate, you're very generous, so that's probably why you were targeted. They were probably following Eddie for months and today, with the two kids. I can't say how sorry I am."

"It's not your fault, Jamie,' Tom replied. "You needed a babysitter, you didn't know this guy was going to come in here after my little girl. Neither did Eddie. Excuse me, Frank I'd like a word with you."

Frank stepped off to the side with Tom, "I promise you, Tom, we are going to do everything possible to find her."

"I know you will, I have faith that you'll bring my April back, but this kidnapper is going to want money and a lot of it. There is no amount he could name that I can't have in 24 hours, really there isn't. Any ransom he wants, I will sell off business assets, break retirement account, anything I have to do. I can sell the house, accept any offer he makes and get our baby back. Eddie's been depressed, she can't take much more."

The urgency in Tom's voice spoke to Frank as a father. Tom loved his baby girl beyond words and Frank understood what the felt like , he was a father too. Eddie was still holding tight to Jamie and Max. She was taking solace in the little boy's soft skin and the little gentle touches as he tried to comfort the woman that had been like a mother to him.

Both Jamie and Eddie were beside themselves, each one trying to soothe the other. No one was thinking clearly but Tom at the moment. Yes, this was his precious April, his baby girl, but kidnapping was, as Jamie said, almost always about business and he knew business better than anyone.

Frank assured Tom he would make sure the kidnapper knew his feelings. Tom went back to Eddie, "She was sniffling too and she gets fussy when she doesn't feel well, she doesn't even have her toys or her little jacket…"

Jamie pulled Eddie close again, his grief and guilt palpable on his face. "We'll get her back Eddie, we'll get her back, I'll pay every cent if I have to."

Eddie didn't even look up.

"Waah Waah.." April was her mother's daughter, she screamed her little head off as she was put in a broken down play pen with one ratted old bear. She took the bear immediately to hold it, and put the ear in her mouth.

"Shut up, Kid, I can't think with you screaming!" the man yelled. "I didn't even want you, stupid bitch took the wrong kid upstairs. So how do I make you work for me? What do I do with you, huh?"

Instead of turning to her husband or Jamie, Eddie stepped back and stepped away. She slowly and with immense dignity, walked to the back of the house. She needed to be alone with her thoughts and get a feel for this. The pain was eating at her.

Jamie and Tom both rose up to go to speak to her, but it was Anita, who had pushed through the police with Frank's help that said, "I will go to Ms. Eddie now. One of you feed that poor child."

Tom looked at Anita, "She is always trying to feed the kids, says my April is too skinny…"

"She's a wonderful woman, you're family is lucky to have her," Jamie replied. "God, Tom I just can't…I can't believe it. Have you checked Eddie's leg? She said in her statement she ran after…"

"No, she won't let me do much," Tom replied. "She's been shutting off and now…"

While the two men spoke, Anita went and sat in the back room with Eddie. She put her arms around the younger woman and held on tight. "It's going to be all right, Ms. Eddie. I know, I know in my heart it's going to be all right. I stopped coming home to light a candle for Miss April and she's going to be just fine."

"He just took her,' Eddie said again still amazed her baby girl had been plucked away so quickly. "All I did was change Max, the poor baby had an upset tummy…he was crying and April was being so good…" Eddie broke into sobs again.

Anita looked at Eddie, she saw her like a daughter. The poor child was so upset she didn't even realize the best person to find her baby was right inside of her. "Ms. Eddie, now you stop this crying now," Anita said firmly. "Take a deep breath and think now."

Eddie took a breath meeting Anita's eyes. "You are one of the best detectives the NYPD has, you see things like this everyday and ten times worse I hope. You are an expert, you know how to get your baby back. That is inside of you, Ms. Eddie. You have the power to do this, you can get Ms. April back."

Eddie heard Anita's words and sat up straight. Anita was right, she did this for a living and the stakes had never been higher than now. Eddie gave Anita big hug then headed back to the living room, determination showing in her whole body as soon as Jamie and Tom saw her they knew Eddie was in charge, the kidnapper now needed a prayer.

"Jamie," Eddie looked at his tear stained face and swollen eyes. "Listen to me, I know you love April and you are scared, so am I, but fear is what the kidnapper is going to thrive on. The absolute best thing we can do for April is pull it together, get our heads clear, and behave like the experienced cops we are. I need my partner, we've solved worse than this."

Jamie and Tom were astounded by the change, this was their take Eddie in full mode. "Captain Olsen, Captain, can I pick a joint team to work this case. Sergeant Reagan, his brother and partner from NYPD fraom Nassau Mike Simmons, Jack Tifford, Macy Ross…Prints, wants and warrants on the partial the works."

The Captain smiled, "All over it. We'll get your baby back."

Eddie felt now in her bones that they would.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter Sixty

Everyone waited with baited breath as they waited for the kidnapper to call. Every cop in the room realized the longer it took the worse off little April was. Danny and Baez showed up ninety minutes after being called the traffic was crazy from the roadblocks and check points. Company messengers arrived with lists of beneficiaries, bank accounts, anything that would provide a clue. CSI went back to their lab to run the evidence, all the while little April sat in the dirty playpen. She stopped crying with the ratted up bear and a cup full of juice. She didn't know where this was, but it wasn't home, she wanted her, she wanted Mommy.

Her kidnapper paced back and forth, he was about to make the call, but what did he demand?. He didn't want money, what he had was priceless and these people didn't understand that, they had everything.

The phone finally rang in the Manning house four hours and sixteen minutes after April disappeared. Tom took a breath, "Tom, it is business now," Eddie reminded him. "it's business, so keep calm and firm. Give a little each time he pushes. Keep him talking. Go…"

The trace started and Tom picked up, "Hello."

"Ah, Mr. Manning, not exactly the one I want to speak with but you will do. I have something of yours and you or rather your wife has something of mine. So I guess the question is, how much do you love your little girl."

The kidnapper pinched April so she began to cry, he wanted her tears to force Tom's hand. "What did you do to her? She's scared, stop torturing my baby. Tell us what you want? A million? Two?"

The kidnapper laughed, "So materialistic…I don't want your money, though it'll be nice to have some, but no...your wife thinks she can put a price on a child, that they can be bought and sold, but I don't think so…I don't want your money, I don't even want your kid."

Tom looked at Eddie as they all listened, "What do you want?" he asked firmly, his voice never wavering, rising, or falling.

"I want my son," the kidnapper replied smoothly. "I want Max."

Jamie felt his knees go weak, this wasn't about April or Tom's money or anything like that, this was about his little boy, his precious little Max who was now sleeping on a blanket on the floor near his feet.

You're not getting him," Eddie said firmly. "These children aren't for trade. You're right though, when I gave Claudia the money for Max, I way underpaid, he's sweet and he's special. We'll gladly pay more money, name your price, we will pay it and all you have to do is give us back April, that's all."

"I want my son! You can't keep him from me!" he thundered. "Bring my little boy to me and you can have your brat back!"

He hung up before Eddie could continue, 'Did you get it?"

"Well," Danny sighed. 'He's not totally stupid, he scrambled the trace, bouncing all over the map."

Eddie took a breath, "We have proof of life, we heard April crying so that's good, that's really good. The trouble is he wants Max and…"

"That means we know who he is," Jamie spoke up picking up his little boy to cuddle him close. "Andre Thompson, Max's birth father."

The entire room mobilized looking up information on Andre Thompson, last known address, known associates, arrest records. The computers started to spit out records immediately, it was a common name. They cross referenced it with the partial plates and slowly things were falling into place, however that wasn't good enough for Frank.

"Danny, Maria…" he called them over and whispered. "Baker has this last know on Claudia, go pick her up and bring her to your house. When you have her, let me know I'm bringing in Jamie and Eddie to question her, he knows what to say and she knows how to say it. I don't' know but she might be behind this."

Danny and Baez nodded with their marching orders, they headed out to find Claudia.

"There's only one way that I can see doing this," Jamie sighed. "He wants Max, we have to convince him…we have to tell him that we'll bring the baby to him…and then…"

"No," Eddie said firmly almost snatching Max from Jamie's arms. "No, you will not! We will not sacrifice our boy for our girl, we won't do it!"

"Eddie," Jamie's voice cracked. "I love April like my own, I love Max with all I am. I can't let her suffer…he won't get near him, we're some of the best cops in the country, Dad, Danny, you, me…"

"No…" Eddie turned her back. "You are not taking this baby boy, we'll come up with something else!"

"Eddie, you have to listen to me," Jamie sighed. "You can't let April stay with that man, and if we make him think we'll give in and give him Max…You know I won't let anything happen to Max."

Eddie turned, her fear gone now, "No, I don't know that, we don't know that he won't hurt Max or kill both children. Max is my baby too, he's my baby in my heart."

Tom heard Eddie arguing with Jamie, he knew how much she loved both the kids but to hear her refer to Max as hers stung a little bit. Tom took a breath, "I think Eddie is right. This guy has a price, everyone has a price and we'll find it. You shouldn't risk your son for our daughter, April isn't his and if he thinks he has a shot at Max he won't hurt her."

"I love how you two…" Jamie sighed. "April is only 10 ½ months old, she can't defend herself, advocate for herself, she's vulnerable. If we bring him Max, with cops all over, we'll get him before he even has a chance to touch a hair on his head!"

"We cannot risk that, what if he gets Max and takes both kids? What if he flips out and kills them both, we can't risk it." Eddie was firm in that.

Jamie reached out for Max but Eddie shook her head. Max had been humming a little bit so she took the little boy to the piano, "Let's sing a little bit. Let's sing…" Eddie began to play some notes and Max sang. Jamie's shoulders shook as he watched, her own baby was missing, Max was not Eddie's blood, but here she was giving him her time and her love when other's would be blaming his existence, other's like Claudia.

Danny pounded on Claudia's apartment door in Yonkers, she hadn't been hard to find or very far away. "Police, open up!" Danny demanded in his best detective voice. "Police…"

He heard Claudia moving in the apartment, heard the locks clicking open. She pushed the door open, "Oh shit…Damn it Danny. What the hell are you doing here?"

Danny pushed his way in, "Where is she?" Danny demanded. "Where is April Manning?"

Claudia stepped back and let Danny and Baez into the apartment. The house wasn't filthy but it lacked a homey feel. The TV blared, weights and other equipment littered the floor. "Come on in and look around, I don't have any kids here. In fact, April's mother bought my kid from me, what did the blonde bimbo do, leave her at the checkout aisle in suburbia?"

"Actually," Baez spoke up. "She was kidnapped from her home this morning by a man claiming to be Max's biological father, Andre Thompson. You are wanted for questioning in connection with that kidnapping If you'd come with us please."

Suprisingly, Claudia didn't argue with them at all. She got her coat followed them out to the car. "Well, if Andre does have her, you better get her back fast."

Danny let Frank know that they had Claudia in custody, then Frank stepped into action. "Jamie, Eddie…Danny and Baez picked up Claudia and they are taking her in now. I know you two are way too close but in this case I think…"

"We're on our way…let's go,' Jamie replied. "Eddie, you ready?"

"Ready."

Frank smiled at the look on their faces. It was the look he'd seen so many times before, they were in full partner mode and ready to go…

The drive seemed to take forever but soon they were in the box with Claudia. "Where is my baby?" Eddie asked. "You were supposed to give Max to Jamie and get lost, what are you still doing in New York!"

"Whoa, I moved out of New York City, okay? I went to Yonkers, I left my job, I gave up my kid, I did my part!" Claudia countered. "I honestly did, so what do you want with me here?"

"Andre Thompson," Jamie replied. "Where is he? Where does he live? What does he do? Where would he take this innocent little girl!"

"Oh, Andre…you are in deep crap with him, he's a stupid mother…" Claudia replied. "Kind of like you. Stupid, spineless, useless…the list goes on. Guess I liked to be dominant…how about you Blondie? He still light your fire"

Eddie kept her cool and answered flatly, "You'll never know a sex life like we have. What you give is violence, you're not capable of intimacy so you'll never receive it in return. Your loss is my gain."

"Can he even get it up?" Claudia laughed. "Had a problem doing that with me. Can't be intimate with a flaccid…"

"Every time," Eddie replied. "He can make my heart soar, the earth move, my heart sing…that's what love does, that's what real intimacy does! You were too selfish, too sick too something to realize it and embrace it. You better hope my little girl is okay, you better pray! You better talk!"

Jamie remembered shucking dead clams on Montauk that were looser than Claudia, she wouldn't give up anything on Andre. "Where did he live when you knew him? When you got knocked up by him and pretended it was me to ruin my damn life?" Jamie thundered.

Claudia laughed again, "You think you can break me…me… of all people, you're diluted," she hissed. "I don't give a damn where the kid is, I don't give a damn where my kid is either. Trade them, trade them if she means so much to you. Probably won't want what's left of her anyway."

Eddie bit her lip to keep from crying out, her baby girl…it had been too long already, four hours to find Claudia, two to get to question her, another two pounding away for nothing. Jamie began to notice Eddie's distress, now was the time. "Eddie, step outside please," Jamie asked.

"Jamie, I…" Eddie began to reply. Jamie took on a firmer tone. "Detective Janko, step outside please."

Eddie knew that tone and she obeyed on the spot.

"All right, Claudia" Jamie spoke in a deadly soft voice. "We can do this easy or hard…and I know you like it rough…"

Jamie's face was inches from Claudia's. Their breath mingled, he could smell her lunch, but that didn't matter. April did. "So let's play rough."

Jamie pushed Claudia's chair back and pinned her to the wall. "Be glad it's me, because if it wasn't…well Eddie, she has more money than God, she could make your life a living Hell if anything happens to that little girl. Me…I'll just wring you neck and I'm a Reagan so…the police department will cover that one up fairly efficiently so…where's Andre Thompson?" Jamie pressed again.

Claudia didn't reply, "So help me, Claudia, I didn't fight back when we were married because you were my wife in the loosest sense of the word and mother to my son but now…you're nothing. Nothing to me, I have Max, he's safe and sound, and you cannot hurt me or him anymore. I, however, can hurt you and I will if one thing happens to little April. I will find Andre Thompson and when I do the first thing I'll ask, even before I ask about the baby, is if you were involved and if you were…I will kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand?"

The scariest part for Claudia is that Jamie didn't raise his voice once. Not once…The coldness in his blue eyes was something she had never scene before. It scared her, he meant what he said sure as she was sitting there, so she began to talk.

 **Authors' Note: We'd like to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. When we count our blessing this year, we include all of our fans, followers, and reviewers among them. We're thankful that our little hobby has touched so many lives, you have all certainly touched ours.**


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter Sixty One

While Jamie and Eddie were off interrogating Claudia, Tom was left home in Manhasset to wait and worry about the safety of his little girl. He did what he'd always do in that case, he called Sue to come be with him, even though relations were a bit strained between them at the present time. Sue handed Tom a drink, "They will find her Tom, they will," Sue soothed rubbing her hand on his back.

"She's so little,' Tom sighed. "She's helpless, she has no idea…she has to be terrified without her mommy and daddy."

Sue nodded, "Then I don't understand why you are both against giving him what he wants. At least in pretext."

"Eddie's against it. Max, I told you about his birth mom, that Eddie essenetially paid her to get lost, well…she's taken to him. She sings with him, the boy is gifts musically and they sing and play piano, it's all very sweet. She's adopted him in a way and I…" Tom took a drink. "My father's heart wants to tell that man, you want Max take him just give me April back, but I can't do that. I can't do that to Max or to Eddie. If something happens to April, it will destroy her. If something happens to Max and it's by her hand, in a trade…" Tom shook his head.

Sue put her arms around Tom, "I can't imagine how hard this is for you to see. I know you love Eddie, to see her suffer and April…I wish I could do more to help."

Tom smiled and touched Sue's cheek, "You're doing it. Being here with me…Eddie has…she has Jamie for support, her police friends, I'm trying to hold it all together and it's just not…"

Tom ran his thumb back and forth over Sue's soft skin. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. Sue's lips parted allowing Tom a smooth entrance. Their arms wrapped around one another, and Tom drew strength from his soul's true partner, until the phone rang again.

"Hello," Tom said as the trace began to run.

"So, have you reconsidered?" Andrew asked as April cried in the background. "Or do start I start doing some damage?"

"Listen,' Tom replied squeezing Sue's hand so hard her fingers were numb. "$100,000,000.00 in cash, unmarked bills however you want it in two hours for April. You can adopt ten kids with that, even more."

"It's not about money, you stupid SOB, it's about my son, he's my boy…you have your own family! I want my family!" Andrew thundered.

"I know," Tom replied; "I want mine too. Give April back to us and I promise you I'll help you out. I'll keep you out of jail, you can fight for Max. I'll hire the lawyers and pay for them myself." Tom would say or do anything to stop April from screaming.

That proposition seemed to intrigue Andrew. "And I get the $100,000,000?"

"Yeah, the hundred million, lawyers, I'll hire character witnesses anything for my little girl back and unharmed in two hours.

Tom held his breath while he waited.

"Eddie, Jamie," Danny warned along with two SVU detectives from Nassau. "You two stay back, we don't know what we are going find in there."

"My baby!" Eddie snapped. "My little girl is in there and she's going to her Mommy!"

"I know," Baez soothed. "I know that you want to be there and you will be. I promise that I will personally take April out and bring her but if there's something wrong in there we have to preserve the crime scene for clues to where she is or what happened."

"She's right, Eddie," Jamie replied. "We are too close, and April will be scared, she'll come out and we'll hold our girl so tight. Then we'll go home and make it known that Max and April are our children and we are going ot be a family."

Jamie pulled Eddie in close, Danny covered them for a minute before joining the other detectives to storm the house.

"Police, Don't Move!"

Ten cops pushed into the small extended stay hotel room, shining their lights, making noise, and finding nothing. "Damn it!" he spooked or he wasn't even here.

Danny punched the wall, "I knew we should never trust Claudia. You! Rookie! Go and check with the desk, see when or if Thompson checked out. We'll sit on the room…I'm going to tell the Kid and Eddie."

When Eddie saw Danny approaching without April in his arms her heart sank. She knew in her gut it was too easy but she had such hope she'd be holding her baby girl. So much for hope…

Jamie put his arms around her immediately, and held on tight. He did expect Eddie to fall apart, to falter, he was about ready to do that. She surprised him when she took his hug, offered one back, the sighed. "Okay, so Claudia was a dead end, so to speak…I know liars, and she was not lying when she told Jamie this address. She honestly has no contact. Where are we with CSI?"

Jamie and Eddie headed back to the house with the rest of the team. Danny and Baez drove them back so they had a few minutes. Jamie put his arms around Eddie, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry about all of this. You holding up?"

Eddie took a breath, "I have to hold up. Right now, my baby girl is alive, hopefully well, and all alone. If her mother isn't fighting for her who will? I'm going to find my little girl, no matter what!"

Jamie tipped Eddie's lips up to his and gave her a gentle kiss, "You are the most incredible detective and mother I've known, April is so lucky to have you on her side. So lucky, we'll find her and we'll hold her. There is nothing I'm not willing to try, Eddie."

Eddie could tell by Jamie's face what he meant, but that was off the table. "There are things I'm not willing to do. Eventually, he'll go for the money. I know he will and there's no amount we can't pay."

Jamie nodded and dropped a kiss on Eddie's hair. "I know, but if he won't budge, Danny, Dad, and me…we'll figure it out. We will." Jamie kissed Eddie's hand as they pulled into the gate, it was time to go back to being partners again.

"I don't see another choice," Jamie sighed. "I really don't and Eddie, I appreciate how much you love Max, but that's how much I love April and I can't just sit by let this go on. You can't either I know you can't. Tom, when is he calling back about the money?"

"In a half hour," Tom replied. "So tell him what? He can have the money and Max and we'll bring both to the rally point?"

"Yes, Eddie, me, Danny, Dad, we'll all be there, the kids and the money will be safe and back to us," Jamie assured trying to believe it himself.

"I don't care about the money, just bring both children home safely," Tom replied. "Just bring my baby girl home."

Tom's voice broke, Eddie and Jamie might be used to this but he was not. This was too much for him, the stress was astronomical. This was too much for him, the stress was astronomical, he couldn't control it, his heart was pounding wildly in his chest. He took a deep breath and headed for some time alone.

The kidnapper called exactly on time. Frank turned the trace on, Tom took the call. "Okay, you bring the money and the kid, you can have your daughter back. She's all messy, she needs diapers and stuff, bring that and some for Max too and his stuff. All his stuff! You bring the money, but I want Reagan to bring the kid."

"Sergeant Reagan will bring the money and your son to you," Tom replied. "Alone as you wish. You can give him April."

The two men went back and forth for a few more minutes, then it was upon them. In an hour they would have their baby back.

Frank and Danny took charge of the plan, sharpshooters would be put up on the roof of the nearby buildings. Jamie would be wired and in Kevlar, the money marked but not in sequence. Eddie would be at Jamie's side, a little farther back so as not to spook Andrew. Frank and Danny would provide back up if things went bad and to receive April. Tom would be even further removed for his own safety.

Eddie and Jamie got their gear. She loaded and checked her weapon, Jamie loaded and checked his. He reached for her hand, and Eddie looked up at him. "Don't let him hurt my son," Eddie begged him. "I'm scared, Jamie, but I know we're capable of this, partners…But I need you to promise me something."

Jamie nodded, "Anything, Eddie always, you know that."

"Then promise me if you feel like things are going sideways, don't hesitate to get yourself and Max out of there. I would never hold it against you, I would never look differently at you, I need you both to come out of the safe as well as April."

Jamie nodded and secured his vest. He checked and tightened Eddie's vest. Their eyes met and Jamie and Eddie both leaned into each other, their lips meeting. They each dreamt of that when they were on the job together, a kiss for luck, a kiss to seal their love, just in case…"I love you Eddie, so much," Jamie whispered hugging her close.

"I love you too," Eddie replied. "Let's do this, let's get our family back!

"Okay, Maxy….you got your first bullet proof vest on, let's go buddy."

Jamie put Max in his seat and rode with Eddie. When they pulled up to the rally point, Jamie gave Max a little pep talk. "Okay, little guy," Jamie told him. "Daddy loves you so much, you are going to be a hero today, saving little April. You are not leaving Daddy's sight, grandpa, Eddie, Uncle Danny, you are not going to be hurt. I promise."

Max's reply was a toothy grin.

Eddie stayed about 20 feet back from the drop point, she wasn't going to be any farther off than that while Jamie carried little Max and the suitcase full of money. If Andrew made a move for her little boy or her little girl…She would have no hesitation about shooting him.

Max began to cry as Jamie approached Andrew. In Andrew's arms was little April, she was crying again, a little dirty, a lot smelly, but other than that she looked fine. She saw Jamie and reached out to him. Jamie set Max down on the ground, "Hold Daddy buddy," he told the boy. "Hold Daddy tight."

Max held Jamie's leg while Jamie called out to Andrew. "I have Max and the money, bring the baby closer. I want to be sure she's all right, part of the deal was she was unharmed."

Andrew moved closer, that's when Jamie saw the gun. "Okay, a gun was not part of the deal, let's put it down. Put the gun down and hand me April."

"Not until I have Max and the money," Andrew replied. "Give me my son."

Jamie took a breath, "Okay…let's meet in the middle but put the gun down first. Put the gun down."

Eddie held her breath, the kidnapper had everything she loved in the world on that hill, she raised her own gun, ready to take him out.

As the two men argued about the gun, Jamie and Andrew were growing closer to each other. Jamie had his hand out offering the money, keeping Max behind him. "You see him, he's attached to me, I'm his family, he has a family. A father wouldn't do that to his son, to hurt him like that."

"He's my boy, he's mine, not yours." Max spoke up with tears, "Daddy…Daddy up…Daddy…" The child was frightened.

Andrew lunged for Max trying to grab him up. Jamie surprised Andrew, kicking his leg out from under him knocking him and April to the ground.

Frank ordered several planted officers to fire shots in many directions, the gunfire drawing Andrew's attention. "Get ready to move in", Danny ordered. With Max firmly in his arms, Jamie snatched April up and took off running.

Andrew recovered a minute later and lunged for the gun. He was not going to lose his son again, if he couldn't have him, no one could. From her vantage point on the hill, Eddie saw the gun being leveled at Jamie. She shouted to him, "Jamie, look out. Get down!"

 **In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, we will be presenting a Cyber Monday bonus chapter. Please check it out!**


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter Sixty Two

Jamie hit the ground quickly, Andrew could shoot him, he didn't care. He could take it, but Andrew was not going to hurt his babies. Both children were crying their eyes out, they were terrified. Jamie whispered to them both, "Daddy's here with you. Daddy's here."

A Nassau County officer and friend of Eddie's jogged down the hill with his weapon drawn. "Police, drop the gun!" he ordered. Several other officers were moving in as Max, who hated to be confined, was trying to break free from Jamie. Jamie couldn't move, he had to keep his little boy tight and close. "Maxy, stay still, stay still for Daddy…"

April babbled, "Say…Dada, say…" She was content to be near Jamie again.

Shots rang out behind Jamie and he half expected to feel the impact of the bullet to his vest. Instead he felt nothing at all.

Eddie saw the officer go down and she saw Andrew leveling the gun on Jamie again. The rest of the extraction team was closing in but not fast enough, not for her. Eddie ran forward and leveled the gun. She held it still, she closed one eye, and fired directly at Andrew's head.

The bullet hit between Andrew's eyes and took him down in a second. He felt dead before he even realized he'd been hit.

Eddie ignored the rest of the cops that were now flooding the scene. She ran to Jamie and her babies. Jamie moved to sit up uncovering Max and April, both were streaked with mud, both were crying their little eyes out, and both had very dirty diapers. Eddie fell to her knees beside them, her body was shaking now that it was over. She had no remorse about her kill, she just wanted to hold her babies again.

"Oh, my babies…" Eddie gasped out. "Mommy's here my angels. Mommy's here."

Eddie wrapped her arms around both the children. April was filthy, her little hands were sticky, her face nearly raw from crying for nearly an entire day. Her head hurt from that too but she looked at her Mommy and bestowed the brightest smile. "Momma…"

Eddie smiled and kissed April's face over and over again. "Yes, baby…Mommy is here, Mommy is right here…"

As Eddie held the babies in her arms, Jamie stood and wrapped his arms around all three of them. These had been the hardest 20 hours of his life, of his career even, and to have both children and Eddie safe and sound in his arms. Jamie kissed Eddie's head and stroked her hair before bestowing kisses on Max and April. "Are you okay?" Jamie asked. "That was some shot."

Eddie laughed, "Who is the best shot now?"

Frank and Danny were quickly approaching the little group on the hillside. April reached for Jamie, her bright blue eyes wide as she proclaimed him, "Dada…"

Danny shook his head, "They have to fix that part quick, Tom is on his way over here to see his kid."

"Don't worry about it Danny, she's been doing that for months, she's copying Max,' Frank replied.

"Still…" Danny sighed and looked to see Tom approaching from where he'd been siting in a back up police car.

Tom was heading directly to his wife and daughter, so glad that they were safe. He wanted to hold his baby close, snuggle her, and never let her go again. As he approached, he saw Eddie standing in Jamie's arms. The four of them, Jamie, Eddie, Max, and April looked like a family. He felt like he was intruding as he got closer, someone could take this picture and anyone looking would swear it was a happy family. Tom felt a twinge of pain in his chest…he had his Sue, but this baby…his April…was irreplaceable.

Tom gave Jamie a few minutes to hug Eddie and the kids then approached. "April!" Tom called to her. "April, my girl. Come here to Daddy!"

Tom reached for his baby girl and Eddie passed her over. She held onto Max, both children were settling down now they felt secure. "We need to take her to a hospital," Tom piped up. "We need to make sure she's okay that he didn't hurt her."

Eddie nodded, "We will, Tom. We will. Jamie, do you think maybe we should check Maxy out too. He's still crying and…"

"Maybe if you give him back to Jamie he'll stop," Tom suggested but then reached out and took Eddie into his arms along with Max. "I was scared, I was so scared and you two…"

"We were terrified,' Eddie replied. "But I trust Jamie and Jamie trusted me and that's how partners work and that's what you saw today. Come on, let's drive the babies to the hospital. Jamie, ride with us, we want you to get checked too."

Jamie insisted he was fine, he waited as Max and April were both examined. April's diaper rash was back and she had a few bruises from Andrew mishandling her and her hitting the ground. Other than that she was pronounced fine and handed back to her greatful paretns.

Max had a few bumps, he fell asleep on Jamie's chest as they waited to be sure about April. Jamie wanted to go home with Eddie and April, hold them, be sure they were safe but he knew that he couldn't do it.

Danny moved and put his hand on Jamie's shoulder, "Say goodbye, we'll get you time together soon. It's his family, Jamie. It's his family."

Jamie took a breath, it hurt so badly but Danny was right. This time it was Tom's family, at least for now.

Tom approached Jamie just before he took Eddie and April home, "Thank you, Jamie. I don't know many men that would risk their lives, let alone their son's life for someone else's child. Thank you with all my heart. Anything you need…"

"Keep them safe," Jamie requested. His eyes met Eddie's, her eyes met his. They said their silent I love yous and hoped to be together again soon.

Jamie and Eddie kept in touch by text in the immediate aftermath of the kidnapping and rescue. Jamie was very concerned about April, was she recovering, did she have nightmares, could he help?

Eddie was glad her baby girl wasn't harmed at all. Aside from a nasty rash that was being treated with air and Anita's home remedies the tot was fine, not even one rough night. Jamie was proud of her resilience. She took after her mother, though Eddie, as he would soon see, was not bouncing back as well as her daughter had.

Eddie returned to work a week after the kidnapping, she got a clean bill of health on her leg. Jamie found it odd he learned this through his brother, not Eddie herself. There was only one reason for that, she didn't want to see him yet. But he wanted to see her, they needed to see each other before the holiday season took off and made that harder to do.

"Tell me about that day at the park," Eddie said gently to a skittish little girl who was biting her own fist and crying big tears. "Can you draw me a picture of what happened there?"

Jamie stood back and watched her. Eddie was a gifted, natural detective and more than that, a caring and devoted mom. Those two elements made her a brilliant SVU detective. Before too long, the child was talking and coloring the picture she drew as she carefully ID the woman that had touched her private parts.

"You did so well, sweetie…" Eddie smiled. "Now, you go off with Officer Lynch, she's going to give you an ice cream. Then you can go home and I will go out and use this great picture to figure things out. Sound good?"

The child actually smiled.

Eddie pushed back from her desk and moved toward the locker room. The little ones got to her but she was good at them. Jamie followed her and pushed the door open.

"You could knock you know?" she echoed his line from years on the job.

"I know but it's more fun this way." Jamie closed the gap. "I missed you, why didn't you text me you were going back to work."

"Because," Eddie shrugged. "It's hard at home right now, Tom's hyper and we had a fight about me coming back to work at all and I figured given my leg and April you might…"

"Have issues too?" Jamie asked. "I do, I'll be worried but what I just saw, Eddie, there is no doubt that you should be doing this." Jamie closed the gap between them and hugged her tight.

Eddie sighed, she missed this, and so did Jamie. Eddie looked up and Jamie looked down at the same time, their lips softly touched and they held onto each other tight.

Eddie sighed with contentment, Jamie brushed her hair off her neck. "We'll get caught, but let's make a plan to meet soon okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I will, things will let up with Tom when he feels April is safe again and when I stop having dreams about what might have happened to her."

Jamie kissed Eddie's forehead, "I'll never forgive myself for all you and she went through. I really won't, I…"

"We love you, and it's okay, it was not your fault. Thompson was crazy, he…he was crazy, it's not on you. It's not on any of us."

They hugged a few more minutes before voices outside forced Jamie to pull away and hide. They promised, with a heartfelt goodbye, to see each other soon.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter Sixty Three

As the Indian summer faded to fall, Jamie and Eddie had a rough time connecting. Tom was far more attentive than he had been before the kidnapping, he was home for dinner almost every night. He would sit and talk with Eddie, he put April to sleep, and he would sit on the bed with Eddie until late hours, until she fell asleep.

Jamie and Eddie kept in touch by text as best they could. Just after Jamie's birthday, they were set to meet up at O'Keeffe's for drink and then slip to a hotel on the water for a little private time. Eddie was so excited, even with Tom's increased attention, she missed Jamie terribly and wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again.

Eddie picked out her softest, tightest jeans and a low cut black sweater. She pulled on her cutest boots and curled her hair On the V-neck, she wore her cameo, her favorite piece of jewelry. Eddie had just sprayed her perfume on her pulse points when her phone rang. Jamie.

"Hey, you can't wait an hour to…" Eddie began then stopped when Jamie spoke.

"I can't meet tonight,' he replied. "I got stuck on OT, the next desk Sergeant called out and there is no one else. I'm so sorry, I wanted to be there but…"

Eddie sighed, "It's okay. Par for the course when you're a big time Sergeant right? How often did Renzulli miss time with his wife?"

"I really am so sorry, Eddie," Jamie replied. "If I could."

"Say no more," Eddie replied. "We'll try again next week; your birthday present gets better with age."

Eddie hung up and flopped on the bed. "Hey, Anita…is Tom home tonight for dinner?"

"No, Ms. Eddie, he's not home tonight, he's out for a meeting in Philadelphia and won't be home till late. I thought you had plans?"

Eddie shook her head, "Say, why don't we take April and go out, just us girls? That'll be fun, you can see her in the ball crawl."

Anita smiled that sounded like a good idea to her.

"Nikki," Erin warned her daughter for the fifth time. "This is not a good idea. Uncle Jamie made it clear, painfully clear he does not want to date or be romantically involved with anyone. If you do this, he'll get angry.

"He's got to do something, Mom, he's a young, handsome man. We can't expect him to just fade into the background and raise Max by himself. That kid needs a Mommy, he's totally screwed up already," Nikki observed.

"So, your friend's mother is the solution, Uncle Jamie is not going to like this one bit!"

"Well, I'm going to ask him anyway. I'll get him to have pizza with me and I'll get him to say yes, you 'll see. He'll agree to it, just because it's me." Nikki gave an annoyingly impish grin. She asked her uncle to meet her at a local Italian place for pizza. It wasn't an unusual request, so Jamie agreed to meet his niece where she suggested.

Jamie arrived at the pizza parlor and sat at the back table as Nikki asked him to do. That table was near the oven and across from the door. Jamie had full view of the place and kept his eye peeled for Nikki.

"Hey Uncle Jamie," Nikki greeted him with a bright smile. "Thanks for coming. "

"Sure, Nikki," Jamie replied. "I really do only have a half hour, I'm on a super tight schedule lately."

"Well, I'll talk fast," Nikki replied. "I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting my friends mother. She's really pretty and really nice. There's a parents' mixer at school next week and since my father won't be there, you could come, and I could introduce you to her."

"Oh, Nikki," Jamie replied. "No…no…I can't do that. When you are older, you'll understand but I'm not on the market for a relationship right now. Not at all. I'm involved with someone I love very much, we just can't be together right now, but I would never do anything to jeopardize that relationship."

Nikki was speechless, he was with someone. They never saw her, he never spoke of her. "Wow, really…"

"Yes," Jamie replied. "I want any conversations about me dating anyone to end. I'm not available, not even close."

Eddie stepped into the pizzeria and sat at the bar to order their famous pizza dough to go and a coke while she waited for it to be prepped. This was her favorite place, so she and Anita were going to make homemade pizza when they got back to Manhasset. Anita waited with April in the car. She spied Jamie and Nikki talking and felt a pang of pain in her heart. How was it he had time for this and not time for a cup of coffee and a kiss

Nikki stood up to leave a few minutes later, he efforts having been successfully rebuked by Jamie. She gave her uncle a hug and a kiss on the cheek then left. That's when Jamie spied Eddie, and knew she saw him. He hurried over to talk to her, he'd been neglecting her lately and he knew it.

"Eddie," Jamie began. "I'm so glad I ran into you, I missed you."

"Well we did have plans Jamie," Eddie sighed. But you got caught up, your family is like that, really. It's no big deal okay?"

Jamie pulled Eddie off the bar stool, "Come here then."

He laid a kiss on her lips that would have given her hope if she wasn't already so hopeless. "Let's you and I have pizza…"

Eddie headed to the table and smiled at Jordan, "Eddie Janko, Jamie's former partner and I just had to meet you."

"Well, hi!" the perky woman greeted with a bright smile. "I thought I was supposed to meet just, Jamie but if you like. I only have ten more minutes but…"

"I can't now, I have April and Anita waiting in the car," Eddie sighed. "Besides, we can't catch up much in ten minutes. We'll just try for another night, okay? How's Friday?"

Jamie checked his book. "I'm off Friday, we can make Friday work."

As luck would have it, Eddie ended up spending Friday with Anita. That became a growing trend. She would schedule a time with Jamie when Tom was working later, and Jamie would have to miss it. Once, they had it all planned, and Tom came down with the stomach flu, Eddie had to miss. They were going on five times now and it was getting frustrating. If Jamie really wanted to make this work, he'd find a way to do it.

A week before Thanksgiving, the 12th was holding a retirement party for their Captain, a man that had served with Danny, Joe, Jamie, and Eddie. There was no way that Jamie would miss this party, Danny offered to run interference for them. It was going to be a night to remember.

Eddie went to the salon for a full beauty work up. She had her nails manicured, her toes pedicured, her face made up and her legs waxed to a silky perfection. Eddie had her golden locks trimmed and arranged in a loose bun, fun and flirty. She had the stylist hold it in place with her comb.

Earlier that day she went shopping for a new dress. It was polka dot with a feminine spaghetti strap. Eddie found a soft, crinoline to go underneath it the puffed out the skirt a bit to emphasize her shape. She located the perfect heels, four inches high, they would still leave her a head shorter than Jamie and most everyone else. Eddie felt beautiful and she knew Jamie would think so too. She always felt so beautiful in his arms, anything she was self-conscious about disappeared with Jamie. Her Jamie…

Eddie could feel Jamie's arms around her, she could smell that rich aftershave, and hear the contended sighs he'd make as they laid together once more. She missed their connection, his touch and his voice in her ear. She missed it all terribly, but what she missed most was the love. She needed it, she craved it, and Jamie gave it out in spades.

"How do I look?" Eddie asked Anita spinning around and smiling.

"You look like a piece of Heaven," the older woman replied. "He won't know what hit him. Now you have a good time and don't' worry about Miss April. She and I will be just fine."

Eddie smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed April's cheek and Anita's and headed out for the retirement party.

Eddie found Danny directly, "Whoa…you look terrific. How you doing?" Danny asked he cared deeply about Eddie and he knew his brother had been difficult to connect with of late.

"Good, I'm really good, is Jamie…" Eddie began, and Danny's face fell.

"What? Is it Max? Does he have the sniffles again? Maybe I'll just go over to the house…"

Danny shook his head, "He didn't tell you? I can't believe he didn't call…"

"He didn't call," Eddie replied. "What's happened? Is Jamie okay?"

Danny sighed, "He took a special assignment, he's not coming tonight."

Eddie felt like she got punched in the gut, she physically doubled over for a minute before she recovered. "How about a dance then? Eddie asked Danny. She was not going to feel this hurt again, she was not.

Danny took Eddie for several turns around the floor. About half way through the evening, Jamie finally broke free to call Eddie. By this time, her pain was numb, she was used to him not keeping their plans anymore. It hurt but it was fine, everything in her life was just fine.

"Hey, Eddie," Jamie spoke softly. "I'm so sorry I didn't' make it, I'm going to try to make it now okay, but this was a huge special op…"

"It's fine, Jamie," Eddie replied "Really, it is honestly fine. I'm having fun with Danny and some other friends. You do what you have to do okay?"

"Eddie, I…" Jamie began again. He didn't' want to hurt her, life had gotten away from them, he was looking forward to this reunion as much as she was. To have her in his arms again was his goal, he wanted it so badly. This operation though could mean a big step for him, it could mean more money and that would help ease the transition when Eddie was divorcing Tom. He worried about April and Max, splitting the limited resources he and Eddie made as cops would change their lives.

"It's fine, Jamie," Eddie repeated. "We'll try again, maybe before the holidays. If not, well, there's always Montana."

"Montana is in April, Eddie," Jamie replied. "It's November. I'm sure I can…"

"It's fine,' Eddie repeated a third time. "Be safe."

Eddie hung up the phone and went back to the party with her best smile on, though Danny could read her angst, not only as a cop but as a friend. He would have a word with his little brother about how he was handling things with Eddie. He would do that the next day.

Eddie stayed at the party just a few minutes longer, then departed for home passing the hotel where she and Jamie were supposed to meet. It was like a knife in her heart. His arms should be around her now, his body filling hers, their heart beating in time as one.

When Eddie got home, the house was dark and quiet. Eddie took off her shoes and headed up to the bedroom, she laid down on the bed, she didn't not undress, she didn't not pull down the covers. She pulled a pillow close to her chest. She missed him so much, she really missed him. He didn't miss her, that was obvious by his lack of attention. Perhaps this was the way of things, they were hot and heavy, but burned out. Perhaps it was time for another reevaluation of her life.

Eddie fell asleep on top of the downy comforter. The air was cool, but she felt warmth inside thinking of Jamie and how much they loved each other. As Eddie slept, she heard the door open the close and soft footfalls approach the bed. Eddie knew before he even touched her that it was Jamie.

The first thing he did was remove the comb form her hair, letting it all fall loose around her shoulders. The second thing was to run his finger under the straps of her dress and slip them down around her shoulders. Jamie placed a kiss right on the valley of her breasts near the cameo pin. Eddie sighed and moaned her pleasure at his touch.

His hands were just as precise and gentle as she remembered. It hadn't been that long, but going from almost living together to nearly no contact with a kidnapping in between was stressful and scary. Slowly, Jamie began to massage Eddie's arms, his touch warmed her skin and made her feel so loved and beautiful. Jamie peeled the dress off inch by inch, kissing Eddie's skin as he exposed it to his view. Whenever Eddie tried to engage Jamie, he pulled back. "This is for you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you," Eddie whispered back, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss similar to the last one they shared in the ladies' locker room at SVU. Had it been that long? Over three weeks…Eddie's raised her hips thinking about how empty she had felt, encouraging Jamie to speed up his ministrations and drive home. He held out longer though, worshiping every inch of her flesh with hands and lips.

By the time, Jamie did enter her, Eddie was shifting and moaning, crying out but not from ecstasy, but pain. Jamie was fading from her view and her grasp. "Where…" she pleaded but he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Eddie…" Jamie told her as he retreated from her bed to the door. "I'm sorry, I have overtime…"

A sob escaped Eddie's chest, she felt the loss so acutely. Eddie sat up in bed like a shot, her hand on her heart, tears running out of her eyes. She nearly jumped through the roof when she saw Tom standing there in the doorway. Her calls had sounded like calls of distress.

Their eyes met, Eddie's tears were like a knife for him. He loved her, he honestly loved her and seeing her pain was hard. Tom carefully crossed the floor, he wasn't sure if his comfort would be welcome or not.

Tom sat on the bed, Eddie looked so feminine and beautiful, vulnerable. He didn't like that she was so strong sometimes, there were time, like when their baby was taken, he wanted to take care of her, be the strong one. "It's all right, Eddie," Tom whispered and wrapped his arms around her. He held her tight and moved gently. "It's all right. Did you have a bad dream?"

This was how she remembered it. When she felt met Tom he would hold her, comfort her, love her to pieces, woo her. Since the kidnapping, he'd been trying, and she had been resisting, holding onto a dream. That was all it was, a fantasy. This was reality, this was life.

Eddie felt a draw to Tom she hadn't felt in a long time. He gently held her to him, his hand rubbing her back and neck, his trademark.

Before Eddie realized it, she was dropping back onto the bed she originally shared with Tom when they were first dating and married. The bed they made April in. Tom's arms around her felt welcoming and good. Eddie sighed, "Tom…" He was safe too and he was there. He was offering his love again when Jamie was taking his away. Eddie had so many days where she only got up because of April or her job, today Tom was offering her what she had been craving. Love and connection on a level beyond a locker room kiss or a bathroom laugh.

"I've missed you," Tom whispered in Eddie's ear as he worked her dress off and kissed her body almost exactly like Jamie did in the dream. "I've missed you so much."

Eddie sighed, "Me too," she echoed. Her pat answer for Tom when he said he loved or anything that she couldn't quite reciprocate. She had no doubt he missed her, he as that kind of man, but was she that kind of woman. She didn't know for sure, not yet.

Tom's love making was gentle and exquisite. When it was over, he held Eddie in his arms, stroking her back. "Since we nearly lost our baby, I've been thinking…we've been so distant from each other since right after she was born. Is there any way we can…you know?"

Eddie took a breath, "Maybe I just…I don't know Tom. I just don't know."

Tom understood that, he knew her love for Jamie was genuine, so was his for Sue. They had a family though, not her and Jamie, not him and Sue. They had a family and that had to matter over everything else. It just had to.

"Let's not talk about it tonight, let's just be together right now, see how things go, see how things feel," Tom advised. "I know that you're having a tough time, I hate seeing that. Let's just try to fix that and move on okay? Let's try."

Eddie nodded, her heart hurt badly. The entire time with Tom she thought of Jamie, no matter how badly she wanted to think of Tom. Now, the guilt…she betrayed her vow to Jamie. She betrayed their promise in Montana not to be with anyone else, not to be with Tom or anyone. Jamie might have broken dates, but he hadn't broken that promise. Not yet.

Tom felt Eddie tense up in his arms, he knew he had a way to go earning her trust again and breaking through the soul deep connection she had with Jamie. He knew it would be hard, it would be hard on him to back away from Sue, but their little girl could have died in the hands of a monster, that did a lot to set a man's priorities straight. Tom kissed Eddie's hair "Try to sleep, I'll be here to hold you."

Eddie smiled at that, she needed it more than words could say.


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter Sixty Four

Jamie was pouring his coffee when Danny appeared behind him and smacked him in the back of the head. "You're an idiot."

"Huh?" Jamie turned around. "What the Hell Danny? What did I do wrong now?"

"Eddie?" Danny reminded him. "Last night? She was all dolled up, looked like a million bucks, and you didn't show up. She left early, she was really upset Jamie, nothing is more important than Eddie for you, like Linda for me…What the hell?"

"I got an opportunity for an undercover operation, I fit the part and besides Eddie was okay with it, she said it was fine," Jamie replied.

"Fine…" Danny replied. "Oh boy you are dense. When a woman says something is fine, it means things are just the opposite of fine! Linda tells me it's fine, I know I better not do whatever it is she said was fine."

Jamie shook his head, laughing it off. "Claudia was a psycho, so you never got schooled in that lesson, I'm trying to help you here brother."

"Well, I'm helpless all by myself," Jamie replied.

"You got that right," Danny replied. "Regetti, when your wife says something is fine what does it mean?"

"That I'm in deep shit," Regetti replied. "Why? One of you get a fine?"

"I think it was six fines," Jamie replied.

"Twelve dozen roses and a bottle of wine get me in the bed after about a week," Regetti advised. 'I like a florist on 45th and 10th."

Jamie still wasn't believing it, "McKenna, when Margaret tells you something you did is fine…"

"I need a prayer, she put my shorts on the lawn last time," he replied. "And then she turned the sprinklers on."

"Okay…' Jamie sighed. "So, what do you suggest?"

"Sarge, when Marie says it's fine…"

"Oh, Hell," Renzulli laughed. "I'm in it, I'm in it big time. Which one of you got a fine?"

"The Kid," Danny replied. "Six of them, he stood up a girl last night to work."

"Oh…you are in deep doo doo,' Renzulli laughed. "Say you're sorry, then take her out for a Steak dinner, it works…"

Jamie did plan to call and talk to Eddie. He wanted to make it up to her. He was worried about the state of their relationship and her state of mind, she had been sad and now was resigned when she spoke to him. "I'll call her later and say I'm sorry and I'll send her a gift. Danny, can you…."

Danny nodded, "I'll help but I'm warning you kid, you are this close to losing this woman, and you worked too damn hard to get here I worked too hard, don't ruin it. You hear me?"

Jamie did, "Loud and clear"

"So, what are you planning for her party?" Jamie asked Eddie three nights later as they sat in their quiet little restaurant and sipped at a bottle of wine. It had taken some doing on Jamie's part, but Eddie agreed to meet him for dinner, dancing, and a little privacy that Sunday night. He'd given up family dinner for her, and that meant something.

Eddie wore the same dress she had on for the party and did her hair and make-up, she wanted to try to recapture that night and she was interested in the operation that kept them apart. As soon as Jamie saw her, he took her in his arms and smiled. "I am so sorry, Eddie. I'm so sorry." He rocked side to side and kissed her lips softly and gently. "I didn't realize it was so important and please don't' say it's fine because it wasn't."

Eddie sighed and inhaled, Jamie scent. Even after the night with Tom she couldn't shake it. "I missed you," she admitted. "Your divorce is almost final right?"

Jamie nodded, "Just a few more weeks, I called the other day and the file is with the judge so it's just a matter of time now. You look so beautiful tonight."

"Should have seen me the other night," Eddie said and couldn't resist. She had to rub it in a little. "You're so popping for the filet."

Jamie would have bought Eddie ten filets if it meant he hadn't hurt her feelings the other night. Now they sat together discussing April's birthday. "I'd love to do something outside like you did but December…So we're going to do dinner at the house, hire a clown and Tom's having a room set up for fingerpaints and balloons so it'll be nice. Anita is doing the food, so we know that will be out of this world. You need to come and bring Max. Anita will help us…" Eddie stopped and looked down.

"Anita is a tremendous help to us, I'm sorry I've been…"

"Stop," Eddie said firmly. "Please just stop, let's just be in this moment together, okay?"

Jamie kissed Eddie's hand then glanced at his phone. "Just a sec…" He laughed at the text and replied quickly. He didn't' reply to Eddie that quickly anymore. In fact, he never looked at his phone more than a couple times if Max wasn't with them and not at all if Max was with them before tonight. Now it was already three or four times and from his laughter, not about Max.

This continued as they ate, Jamie didn't miss any beats in their conversations, but he also was divided from her. Eddie tried not to let it bother her, he had a life, friends, family…she might be the center of his world, but she was not the only person in his life. He wasn't the only person in hers.

Jamie excused himself and headed to the bathroom, he stopped by the band and tipped for their song. He longed to hold Eddie close, she was withholding some affection today, and seemed very sad. He hoped this dance would save the date.

Their song began to play as Jamie approached the table. He put his hand out to her and smiled, "May I have this dance?"

Eddie loved those words and took his hand. Jamie lead her onto the dance floor and held her tight. "I remember the first time I held you as we danced. You were so close to me, you held onto me like you trusted me with your very life. That felt so good to have that with you Eddie. When I can't hold you, I miss you so much."

Eddie took a breath, "You're busier tonight than I thought you'd be."

Jamie didn't even bite at her probe, he turned with Eddie in his arms, nuzzling her neck. "How about we get the dessert to go. I can't wait to hold you…I got a room upstairs, a nice suite with a huge, soft bed." He punctuated each word with kisses and a hug.

"I think you're onto something," Eddie flirted. She would get in the mood when they were alone and started to relax. This is what she missed, their love making, their connecting, feeling like they were one…and it was here now, it was upon her.

Jamie paid the bill and hand in hand they headed for the hotel suite. As soon as the door closed, Jamie turned to Eddie, kissing her deeply. The kiss felt off to Eddie, she felt Jamie's mental distraction and couldn't engage her own her. Not a week ago, she had this same dress removed by her husband, while in tears over Jamie. Since that night, Tom had ratcheted up the affection tenfold, but it still wasn't this, it still wasn't right.

Eddie was distracted, Jamie was kissing her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, she heard his "I love you so much," and returned it on reflex. How was it she didn't feel anything, she didn't feel his love that was for sure. Even with that, his ministrations were tender and his words sweet.

"Love me," Eddie whispered but it was more of an emotional plea than a physical one. Jamie lifted Eddie and laid her on the bed.

"I'll always love you…" he replied as he kissed his way down her body.

Eddie was going through the motions, the connection and fire she always

felt was just not there. Jamie was usually diligent about checking to be sure she was ready for him, but he was not tonight. When Eddie felt Jamie press into her body, she tossed her head back and moaned, putting on the performance of her life.

When it was over, instead of curling into Jamie, Eddie rolled to her side, giving him her back. He rubbed it a few minutes, unsure if she was still angry, if she was sad…his phone beeped, it was only 10 on the west coast. Jamie rolled to see what Spence replied about his pick-up date. He shot off a reply before giving into the exhaustion of the night. Jamie began to snore in mere seconds, while Eddie began to cry.

Eddie woke the next morning to Jamie's kiss. She opened her swollen, and sticky eyes and looked up at Jamie. "Hey, I'm going to go for a jog and grab us some bagels and stuff, anything particular you want?"

Eddie wiped her sleepy eyes, "Uh, no that sounds good. I'm just going to freshen up then…"

Jamie never went for a run when they had time together, that was another new thing that was troublesome, but she shook it off. "Or should I wait for you to come back?"

"No, go ahead and rinse off, I won't be long." Jamie placed another soft but fast kiss on Eddie's lips and headed out for his jog.

Eddie took a breath and headed for the shower. The water from the spray mingled with her tears, she wasn't sure if she was even crying at his point, but it was what it was for now. It probably wasn't Jamie, it was her. She and Jamie made a pact, they would not sleep with anyone but each other, even in their marriages, and she betrayed that. It was on her mind the entire time they were together, that and who Jamie was texting.

Eddie washed her body and hair, then stepped out of the shower. She was sitting at the table with a cup of room coffee when Jamie returned. How had this become like her and Tom? Making nice, smiling, little kisses, this wasn't her and Jamie.

"Is Max okay?" Eddie tried to see if the texts were with Frank.

"Yeah, he's great. He loves that piano at home but it's out of tune right now and Pop says he likes it like that so he's not really getting a lot of music time," Jamie replied. "He loved it at your house and he misses April I think."

"I can still teach him," Eddie replied. "I'd love to spend more time with him and we'll be able to see each other a bit more with you bringing him too." It was the first time Eddie smiled.

"After Christmas then we'll get him going," Jamie replied. "That's a great idea, he asks for you too. He'll be so excited to see you at April's party."

"I'll be excited to see you too," Eddie smiled. "Jamie, is it me or are we struggling this time?" There. She laid it out.

"No," Jamie replied almost too quickly. "No, I think it's just a little difficult with Tom being more involved but that will dial back I'm sure. We missed each other the last few times but it's all right now, everything is going to get back to the way it was."

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a reassuring kiss. "My divorce is final soon, then it's all about us and the timing for Tom, okay?"

Eddie sighed, Jamie didn't even feel anything was wrong or off. Perhaps it was her…His phone beeped, and he checked it immediately. No, not her…definitely him. This time though he laughed and showed it to her. Frank had sent a picture of Max sitting on his dressing table with his diaper on his head. Eddie had to smile, such and innocent boy…

After breakfast, Eddie and Jamie checked out of their hotel. Jamie walked Eddie to the garage where she parked her car. They held each other for a few minutes, "I'll see you at April's party next week, for sure,' Jamie told her. "I can't believe she's one and he's 18 months, I just can't believe it."

"I know, seems like yesterday she was born and now…I'm so glad you'll be there, I need you there, so many of Tom's friends…." Eddie always felt on display at those things.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world,' Jamie assured her with one more kiss. "Chin up, pretty girl. Things will get to feeling right again soon, I'm here, you know?"

Eddie nodded, she just wished she believed it.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter Sixty Five

Eddie secured the bow in April's fine baby hair then stood back to survey her daughter. "You look so cute, like a princess…" Eddie told the baby girl before picking her up in her arms. April wore a white satin dress with a full crinoline skirt. A beautiful pink satin bow tied at the back and on the front of the dress a lace covering with an eyelet of tiny baby pink roses, her socks matched and she was wearing white patent leather shoes and of course they matched the beautiful pink bow on the back of her dress. Eddie gave the girl a kiss then put her down for her to toddle around the bedroom.

Tom stepped in, "Eddie, my tie…" He sighed. "How many kids did you invite for her? She's only one that might be too stimulating."

"Ten," Eddie replied. 'The colleagues of yours with little kids or grandkids and Max Reagan. He's her best friend, he has to come." Eddie was speaking more about Jamie than Max, last week he assured her he'd be at the party by 6.

"He's a good boy, and I'll never be able to thank Jamie enough," Tom replied looking at his wife and daughter. 'He cared for you when you were shot, he helped you save our little girl…"

"Well, after the holidays I'm going to start keeping Max twice a week to work on his music, Henry's being difficult about their piano and the noise hurts the baby's ears so…"

Tom leaned down and kissed Eddie's lips, "You care deeply for people, you're special Eddie. I'm very lucky to have you, and so is April."

Tom pulled Eddie in close to him and held her tight. Anita knocked on the door, "Excuse me, Mr. Tom…Ms. Sue is here to help with the set up…"

Tom nodded, "Excuse me, honey I'll only be a few minutes."

It was still going on, even after…that made her feel a little bit better about what she had done, just a little.

"Mr. Tom will probably go to have his brandy and cigar after cake, that's when I have you and Mr. Jamie up here to be alone for a bit. Just turn on the intercom one way and…" Eddie smiled.

"Jamie and I owe you one," Eddie replied. "We have had such a hard time connecting again after he left here, bless you for this."

Anita smiled at Eddie, she loved this young woman and wanted her happy, not downtrodden and in pain the way she had been. Both the men in her life were taking her for granted, it just seemed to Anita since the soulful connection existed with Jamie, that relationship could be saved. "I knew love once too, and I let it get away. I don't want that hurt for you Ms. Eddie."

Impulsively, Eddie hugged Anita, "I just want him to be like he was I guess, he was on his phone texting the entire time we were together... we both have babies but this was a lot. Still, tonight we start over. How do I look?"

Eddie wore a black and white pant suit, it had a cute tuxedo top that hugged her in all the right places. The dressy black pants that she wore were form fitting and she had on beautiful black pumps to finish off the outfit... she looked smart, sexy and sophisticated. Anita told her so.

April was a little intimidated by the amount of people at the party that wanted to pay attention to her. She held onto her Mommy's arms tight and kept her head down. Tom had been concerned about the number of children, but the number of adults had not crossed his mind. "It's okay April," Eddie whispered. "Mommy's here and soon Mr. Jamie and Maxy are coming to play with you. It's okay."

Eddie took April to the play room where other young children were finger painting and playing games. "You're okay, honey. Go play, look, make a pretty picture for Mommy."

Eddie kept checking the clock, the party had gone on for nearly an hour. Jamie had said he'd arrive by 6:00pm, it was 6:25pm already. There was a lot of traffic though, that was probably the hold up. Eddie watched April toddle off to the painting table, but she came right back and fussed. "Okay, let's go see Daddy, we'll wait for Max to come and play."

The few times both babies had been together, Max looked out for April. He watched her like Jamie watched Eddie, it was the cutest thing.

Eddie carried April on her hip towards Tom's office. He had stepped in there a short while ago with a business associate. Both Eddie and April startled when they heard the coldness of Tom's voice. "If you cross me on this,' he warned. "You will regret it as long as you live. I will take that business, I will take your home, I will take everything that you love. Do not cross me, you get it?"

Eddie backed away from the door and went around the back of the dining room. That's what she was afraid would come down on her someday. When Eddie saw the man retreating from Tom's office, she recognized him as Jared Frazier, one of the most powerful business men in Hartford and a long time colleague of Tom's. He was shaking…Tom leveled people or he could. It sent chills down her spine.

Jamie was so late Eddie dialed his cell, her heart was pounding with worry. What if he had an accident with Max in the car. Would Frank call her and tell her? Would they remember?"

"Hi, you reached Jamie. I can't answer the phone now, but I'll call you back when I can…"

Eddie hung up and dialed Henry.

"Hello," Henry answered feeding Max his dinner.

"Henry? It's Eddie Janko. I was calling to see if Jamie and Max were okay.

They were supposed to be here for April's birthday party and they haven't showed up yet. I'm really worried, I'm so sorry to bother you but…"

"Max is here," Henry replied. "He's eating his dinner and Jamie went out with his college friend Spencer."

Eddie felt like she wanted to throw up, he promised her. He had promised!

"Thanks Henry, I'm sorry again. Give Max a hug for me, okay?" She heard the baby babbling in the background.

"I sure will. I'm so sorry, Eddie " Henry apologized and hung up.  
Henry looked over at Max, "Seems you have an engagement Maximillian." Henry scooped the baby up and took him upstairs to get him properly dressed for the party. Just because Jamie was going to miss it, didn't mean Max had to disappoint his girls as well. Henry called a car service and was on the road twenty minutes after ending the call with Eddie.

Eddie tried to focus on the party, how could she break away and go to find Jamie. He lied to her again, and about her daughter's party. If April was older, it might have ruined the day for her. It certainly did a job on it for Eddie.

Eddie found Anita in the play room, "I need to go out for an hour, please cover for me?" she begged.

"Of course, are Jamie and Max…" Anita began.

"Max is all right and Jamie isn't going to be for long, I have to deal with this, please help me?"

"Of course, I'll help you, Mr. Tom and Ms. Sue just went outside so I'll help you," Anita assured her. "Be careful."

Eddie nodded and headed out to the city, she knew Jamie like a book, all of his haunts, she'd find him and make him answer for this, she would not be taken for granted anymore.

Jamie laughed, "Oh man, I suck…And I'm a cop, I can't hit a dart board."

"You're drunk," Spencer laughed. "You are so damn drunk. You owe me like sixty bucks already."

"I'll get it," Jamie laughed. "I have a bank account, I think. One more round Gotta go someplace, don't remember where though."

"You were telling me about you and Eddie," Spencer reminded him. "You finally got in her pants but then you left out the details."

"Oh, she's a hell cat," Jamie bragged. "She's up for anything! I can make her scream my name…pry her off the walls she's so intense. Love her more than life itself too," Jamie slurred. "But sexy…oh sexy."

"I have one thing to ask," Spencer laughed. "Are they real?" He made mock breasts and juggled his hands.

"Not an ounce of plastic man," Jamie replied. "She is all one hundred percent full blooded woman."

Eddie found Jamie's car outside an old hangout of theirs and told her driver to park and wait for her. She got out of the car and walked into the bar, shoulders back, ready to confront Jamie and Spencer both. When Eddie walked into the bar, Jamie's face lit up. "Here she is…what a surprise." He nearly fell over himself, but not from shock, from liquor. "Eddie…my beautiful Eddie." Jamie put his arms around her and kissed her square on the lips, dipping her backward to show off for his friend.

Eddie wiggled and pushed Jamie away, "Don't touch me, you smell like a brewery. You're here instead of at April's party. You promised me you'd be there, you promised me and here you are drinking with Spencer, you didn't call I was worried out of my mind!"

Jamie looked like a deer caught in headlight, "Oh, that was today? I thought it was tomorrow, I'm…Oh God Eddie." Jamie moved to hold her again and kissed her again. "I'm sorry, we'll…" he slurred. "Make it up."

"You can't!" Eddie snapped. "You can't make it up to me anymore, we are passed make it up to me! This was my daughter's birthday, the baby girl that you risked your life for! The baby girl that was going to be partially yours!"

Jamie heard the words but didn't process the reality of Eddie's anger and pain. He looked at Spencer, who was smirking and went for her again. "I'm sorry," he slurred. "I screwed up again. I…I'm sorry…" Jamie pulled Eddie in a third time and held her tight. Eddie took a breath and pushed him off again.

"You're drunk, now where are your keys, you are not killing yourself and leaving Maxy alone." Jamie pointed to the bar. "You taking me home?"

Eddie shook her head, "No, Angelo will take you both home. Your car will be at my house you can pick it up there, your Dad will decide if you are fit to drive."

"Eddie!" Jamie called as she was heading to the door with his keys. "I…"

"Not anymore Jamie, not this time. We're over…" It was the flatness of her tone that scared him blind. Eddie looked over her shoulder at Spencer, "I'm sure you'll remind him if he doesn't remember in the morning, that I ended things between us. Some friend you are to him, getting him this drunk. I know who I don't' want at my back if it hits the fan, that's for certain." Eddie turned on her heel and left them both staring after her.

"You're right, man, hellcat!" Jamie just glared at Spencer, his heart breaking even with the liquor to dull the ache.

When Eddie pulled up to the house, she was surprised to see Henry and Max getting out of a hired car. Henry's eyes fell on the familiar vehicle and hurried over to Eddie. "Hey, you okay?" Henry asked. "Why are you driving Jamie's car? Where is Jamie?"

"He's at Connelly's playing darts with his little friend, Spencer!" Eddie replied, annoyance and hurt spilling out of her. "He is so drunk that I can't let him drive, he'd kill himself or someone else."

Henry shook his head, "Crazy kid. Well, Max is here to party and we have a little something for April."

Eddie reached out to take Max in her arms, the little boy was wiping his hand across his face brushing the hair out of his eyes. "The numbskull forgot he had barber appointments for him and Max today, somehow he got himself off the track even before that investment banker friend of his blew in. Come on, let's go inside."

Eddie was glad Max was there and showed him where the kids were playing games. April was sitting, her hair and dress still perfect. She smiled at her Mommy, she was a little tired. Kara had been pinch hitting for Eddie with the kids. "Max, go play too…" Eddie encouraged the small, shy boy.

Eddie nodded to Anita to proceed with cake. She plastered her best Long Island housewife smile on her face and stood by Tom as they helped April make the first slice of cake. Eddie was an old hand at this, it was an acquired skill she learned as a girl, how to smile when your heart was breaking. If you tried hard enough, eventually you started to believe your own lie, and things did look up. She hoped so, if not for her sake, than for April's.

The baby smashed the cake with her hand, Eddie let out a genuine laugh and kissed her head. This was a memory to be made, Jamie or not, and she would embrace it with all of her heart.

After eating cake with April, Max played with some of the toys on the floor, mostly keeping to himself. He kept fussing at his hair, it was bothering his eyes. Eddie sighed and went over to Henry, "I'm going to trim his hair so he can have some fun. Come on, Max, come with Eddie."

Max took her hand, "Dee Dee go…" he followed her up the long staircase to the bathroom. Eddie sat him on the toilet and dampened the comb. Henry was amazed how well the little one sat.

"This rough patch you're going through with Jamie," Henry began. "Is very similar to something that I went through with my Betty when we were first dating. I was being a jerk…"

Eddie sighed, "Jamie's not like that. I know that he's not, but… Oh God, I broke up with him Henry."

The tears were welling up in Eddie's eyes. "It's okay to be sad, sweetheart and it's okay to be hurt. Jamie is not perfect, no one is. Maybe you need to take a step back and evaluate what's right for you and your little girl. Sometimes a break is just the thing you need to make things work the way you want them too. It was for me and Betty."

Eddie wiped her eyes and wiped the hairs off Max's forehead. "I did a few times, we keep hurting each other Henry. This hurt a lot."

Henry nodded, "I love my grandson to the moon and back, but he was wrong, he was just flat out wrong. Not to make excuses for him, but that Spencer was never a good influence on Jamie. When this settles down, talk to him and then you can decide what you want to do, maybe leaving Tom will be what you decide in the future… maybe this break will be good for Jamie too. He's expressed a little frustration it's taking so long to tell Tom."

"Tom is a ruthless business man, you don't know him like I do. I've seen him crucify people that cross him in the board room. If I set out I do that…I could lose my child. I'm scared to lose my little girl. I have to be very careful how I do it," Eddie admitted. "It's frightening, it's gotten so hard. I'm so confused."

Eddie felt like she was drowning, "It's just so hard…" The tears continued to fall. Max saw them and put his little arms around Eddie, he was a sensitive and empathic boy. Eddie needed that hug more than she realized. It warmed her from the inside out.


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: Greetings! Since we both agreed not to mix it up when it comes to commenting on reviews this communication will be rare, it's important to us to let the story speak for itself.**

 **We need to start by saying how exciting it is to see any and all reviews, we never expected to be over 3,000 reviews in 65 chapters, wow, thank you!**

 **We hope you all stay around for the journey no matter how long it lasts. We have given so much thought to how long this story should continue. You'll need to read to find out.**

 **Since we've decided to break our silence this time, here are a few things we will say; everyone is entitled to their opinion but please be an adult. This is an adult only story, per the rating, so refrain from profanity and personal attacks. Reviews containing these elements will be and have already been deleted.**

 **Before each chapter is posted, both of us agree 100% on the storyline, we put a great deal of time into working every day which isn't easy, but is very rewarding. We look at these chapters word for word before they are posted…on a side note it's shocking to see a typo or misspelling can get past us…yet it does!**

 **Enjoy reviewing but most of all enjoy reading. We wish you all a wonderful holiday season!**

 **Nancy and Kristen**

Chapter Sixty Six

Henry slammed the cabinets and the back door hard the next morning. He was not happy with Jamie for missing April's birthday in any event, never mind he was drunk doing it. Henry locked the boys out the night before and put the dead bolt on. Jamie was far too intoxicated to find the key for it. Both boys slept on the sun porch wrapped in heavy coats to beat the December chill.

The noise penetrated Jamie's head first, he groaned and covered his eyes. "Oh, man…Pop…" Jamie knocked on the door. "Pop, let us in, it's freezing out here."

Henry scoffed as Jamie knocked, ignoring him, and going about his business. "Let me in, Pop."

Frank looked at Henry, "Why are Jamie and Spencer on the porch and why…"

"He stood up Eddie and her little girl last night for that egg head. The poor girl was barely holding it together," Henry replied. "Let him freeze."

Frank shook his head and let Jamie and Spencer inside. "I'm in the doghouse big time with Pop huh?" Jamie asked.

"Yes," Frank answered. "And I think you are probably in it even deeper with Eddie. Pop says you missed April's birthday party last night?"

Jamie tried to think, did he do that? He couldn't have done that, not his little April. "That's today, I'd never miss her party. Max and I are getting haircuts and…Jamie's eyes fell on Max's hair. It was cut precisely the way he always wore it. The clean cut making the boy look handsome. "Who…"

"Eddie!" Henry snapped. "She was devastated by what you did last night but still cared enough for this boy to cut his hair when it was bothering him.

Jamie sighed, he knew he blew it, he just couldn't remember.

"Jamie," Spencer replied. "It was yesterday my friend. Do you remember Eddie coming to the bar last night…what she said?"

Jamie tried but his head just hurt too much. "I'm gonna be sick dad." Jamie got to the sink before he threw up most of what he drank the night before.

Spencer made a face, Frank stepped in with a glass of water. "Here, drink some of this it'll help." Frank handed Jamie a glass of water, plain water always did the trick.

Jamie drank gratefully, "Now what about Eddie?" Jamie asked. "She was at the bar last night?"

"Oh yeah,' Spencer replied. "Hot as hell and madder than a hornet. She told me to remind you she took your car to her house so we didn't' drive and then said that you two were over she dumped you bro."

Spencer actually had the nerve to smirk at that, Jamie glared at his friend. "Oh man, oh I really did it now. She won't speak to me for days if ever I'm going to call her…" Jamie reached for his phone.

"That's not a good idea right now, son," Frank advised. "Sleep off some of this and call with a clearer head. Maybe go there tomorrow…"

Jamie wasn't sure about that, he felt in his gut he had to go see Eddie now. Still, he nodded, "Let me at least text her something…"

Jamie took his phone and sent a quick text. Eddie was at home, lying in bed. Tom had tried to get her up but she was having none of it. She just wanted to stay in bed and never get up again. Her phone beeped and she couldn't help but look at it. On the screen were three simple words from Jamie, the words she needed to hear last night, today was too late. "I love you."

An "I love you," wouldn't help her now. She had resigned herself to this life with Tom, to them being together. It was her life now, Jamie was a thing of her past, a wonderful memory…it was done.

Eddie did not answer the text, Jamie kept his phone in his hand and paced back and forth waiting for her to text him back. "I don't' understand, I've made her mad before. I've screwed up so badly she married someone else but she's always returned my text since we worked through all that, always."

Henry had enough of Jamie's complaining. Life was too short to be making repetitive mistakes like this. "Well it serves you right!" Henry erupted, his temper flaring. "You blew that girl off last night for a drunken party like a college frat boy. She deserves better than that! Her husband might be a cheater but at least he knows when to show up for his wife and when to screw around, you missed that boat. Eddie should be your priority, she was for a long time so what the hell happened?"

Jamie sighed, Henry was right, he had gutted Eddie, he had taken her for granted, that she would always be there. Now she wasn't, he felt her loss acutely. "I got lazy, I got complacent waiting for life to change, for my divorce, for her to ask for divorce. I know I screwed up but…she really said it was over?"

"Oh yeah," Spencer replied. "And she made a point of reminding me to tell you it was over. She was smoking man, smoking hot and steaming mad."

Frank never really liked Spencer, and here he was objectifying an NYPD detective in his own home.

"I have to find a way to fix this, I don't want it over, I want us to be…"

"Maybe, Jame-o, it's better if it's over," Spencer sighed. 'She's bitchy, and he flaunts her money. All you wanted to do was hold and love her and she was pushing you off…"

"Oh, God…you mean I hung on her and…Can it get worse?" Jamie buried his face in his hands.

"Probably, not," Frank replied. "But she might just need to settle down a little and you too."

"Or he needs to cut her loose, she was cramping your style," Spencer replied. "She's hot, but you can find hot. If you just want the heat, have her be a booty call I bet she'd be up for that…you said she's up for anything!"

Jamie stood up, anger in his blue eyes. "Shut up! Eddie is not a thing, she's a person with feelings and depth. She is the woman I love, she is my soulmate and you're talking like she's a piece of ass! She's not that…"

Jamie's felt both anger and pain at the possible loss of Eddie for his friend that had no respect for her or for him. Before he knew it, he shoved Spencer, showing the physical side of his Reagan temper. "Whoa, whoa…not in my house." Frank put all 6'4" of himself between the two younger men. "Jamie, take a breath, this is your friend here. Spencer, you are speaking of an NYPD detective and someone very special to Jamie, she deserves your respect and you will do that in this house. Do I make myself clear?"

Jamie and Spencer nodded, no one messed with that tone.

"She's not those things,' Jamie sighed. "She's not a piece of ass, or…"

Henry sighed, "You just treated her like one. You are paying the piper for that now Kid. You want to fix it, then you fix it. You grovel, you beg, you plead and tell her how damn stupid you were! Stop your bellyaching and make a plan. She shouldn't have you, but she might still love your sorry ass!"

Henry went upstairs with Max, he needed to be away from Jamie and Spencer and all the crazy. He held his great grandson on his lap. "Great Pop will fix it, Buddy. You'll get your Mommy, you'll see…Daddy did a dumb thing, but we'll fix it."

Max gave kisses and started to sing a little bit, chicken soup for Henry's soul.

Jamie couldn't sit still. He had to go over and talk to Eddie, set things right. "Dad, I have to go talk to her. I have to apologize and make things right."

"You need to give that girl space!" Henry hollered as Jamie shaved his face in preparation. "She was heartbroken."

"Now, Pop," Frank broke in. "I do think that Jamie should speak to Eddie. He owes her an apology and if after that they take time apart, then they do. You can't interfere in this much more than you did already."

Frank and Henry were battling it out when Linda poked her head in. Jamie had asked to Frank for a ride, but he was too engaged in arguing with Henry to answer him. It was a godsend when Linda came in.

"Linda, thank God, can I please borrow your car?" Jamie asked. "I need to get out to Long Island."

Linda looked at Jamie, "Uh, I don't know what I just walked in on but no, Jamie you can't borrow the car you look like death warmed over, but if you need a ride…"

"Yes!" Jamie replied. "Yes, I do need a ride and I can pick up my car! You're a lifesaver Linda!" Jamie gave her a big hug then practically leapt into the car.

Jamie fidgeted all the way to Eddie's house. Linda drove as fast as she dared as she watched Jamie from the corner of her eye. "What's going on Jamie?"

"I forgot April's birthday party was last night, I messed up when I switched shifts with Regetti, so I went out with Spencer last night and got a little drunk," Jamie confessed. "I've been screwing up. Since the kidnapping, we've had a hard time connecting, we've had a hard time reaching each other. It's getting frustrating to run our lives like this."

Linda sighed, "I know you feel like keeping your mouth shut sometimes is the right thing, so you don't say anything impulsive or hurtful, but what you don't always see, and Joe did this too, it was part of what you two had in common, is that when you shut off and pull back, that's just as bad."

Jamie studied his hands, "I always shut up to try to protect her. That's how we got here in the first place, I held back because I was scared to lose her, and I keep doing it."

"Then you need to speak up to her and tell her you are frustrated and having a hard time," Linda suggested. "She loves you, you can work it out together. Most of the time, when Danny gets into this type of mood, he speaks up out of turn and comes off like a jerk, but one thing, I always know where I stand. Clear the air with Eddie, that's my suggestion…"

Jamie smiled, Linda usually gave the best advice. Depending on what he found inside, he would speak to her today, if that wasn't possible, as soon as he could he would come clean.


	67. Chapter 67

Linda waited in the car while Jamie went up to the house. Anita let him in and smiled at him, she knew Jamie would come to set things right with Ms. Eddie. They loved each other too much.

"Ms. Eddie," Anita poked her head into the bedroom. "Mr. Jamie is here to see you." She didn't give Eddie a choice, she knew if she did she'd push him away. There were too many hurt feelings, she had to force them to talk and face the music.

Eddie was sitting at the vanity trying to put make on her swollen and irritated face. It hurt to draw the brush over her skin. She bit her lip and got ready to face him.

"There really isn't anything to talk about Jamie," Eddie began, keeping her defenses up high. It would be too easy to just fall into his arms. "I am sorry if this hurts you, but this has to be done. I can't go on this way."

"What way is that, Eddie?" Jamie asked. "Because I am going to change. I know I hurt you, I know I was taking you for granted and you deserve more than that. I'm going to change and we are going to make this family work."

Eddie was silent, she had no words for this. She stated her position and she had to stick to it. Jamie pressed her for an answer to the major thing that had him reevaluating. "I have one thing to ask Eddie," Jamie said after a few minutes of awkward silence. "Did you mean it when you said that you wanted to leave Tom?" Eddie took a deep breath, as Jamie continued. "Because I think I started to pull back a bit because of that. I really want our family. I need to know that you do."

"You don't understand," Eddie sighed. "Of course, I want our family, and if you felt like you had to protect yourself I'm sorry. I never wanted things to go the way they did but that's what happened Jamie. Things burned too hot and too fast maybe, I know that you and I…Things didn't just go off the map by themselves, there was a reason. The last time we were together…and now this. I can't do this anymore. I can't be hurt anymore, I can't hurt you anymore. I can't live two lives, I can't. I don't even recognize myself anymore, I don't recognize my own actions." Eddie looked down, it was time to confess. It was time to let Jamie know he wasn't the only one that made mistakes. She was more angry at herself than she was at him. "I was with Tom Jamie. I was with Tom like wife…"

Her words struck Jamie in the heart, not like a bullet or even a knife the pain was more acute. They had promised each other not to do that, they would be exclusive, only loving one another in that special way. Eddie had broken that vow and it hurt more than words could say.

"I'm sorry," Eddie could see the pain flash on Jamie's face. It killed her to be the cause of it, that's why she had to end this. She had to be the one to do it, Jamie never would. "I know that hurts you and it was never my intention to hurt you...I needed comfort and...Jamie, the pain is just too much to live with, we keep hurting each other, that's not what love does."

Jamie took a labored breath, "Eddie, I can forgive anything. Live your life with Tom, as his wife, just don't end what we have...please, I love you.

"I love you too Jamie and I always will but it's over, I'm sorry. It's better or all of us this way, especially the children."

"Eddie, I know I did some terrible things, I got complacent, I got distracted and I let other things come first when it should have been you and only you…" Jamie rambled on, his heart pounding in his ears, he didn't want this to happen, he loved her, he needed her, but he'd cut her to the core. It would take time, and love to fix, just as his own gaping wound would.

Jamie closed the gap between them, "I love you, eddie. If you need time or space it's yours. Can I see you in three days, we can talk about. Promise me to think about this and meet me in three days. O'Keefe's at night, when it's quiet."

Eddie did not want to do that, she wanted it over, to put a pin in it and be done, but the sound of Jamie's voice and the soft little sniffles coming from the baby in her arms did her in, a bit. She nodded, "Okay, O'Keefe's at ten on Wednesday."

Jamie leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Eddie's cheek and walked out the door.

She put her shoulders back, if anything would get through her resolve it was Max and April, but for their sake as much as her's or Jamie's the pain cycle had to stop. It had to.

Jamie could hardly breathe as he drove home in his own car. Maybe in a few days, when they talked again. He knew it would take a while for Eddie to come around, but he hoped that once he proved himself to her, she would learn to trust him with her heart again.

 _ **Eddie held April to her chest and sobbed. Tom's face was set like granite, cold and unfeeling. "Give me my child, Edit! You lost! I warned you what would happen if you did this, if you crossed me and you lost! She's mine now, you'll never see her again."**_

" _ **Don't do this!" Eddie begged. "Please don't do this. She's such a small baby, she needs her Mommy."**_

" _ **Should have thought of that Eddie," Tom growled. "Should have thought of that before you spread your legs for Jamie Reagan!"**_

 _ **Tom reached out and all but snatched the baby girl from Eddie's arms. April screamed out and so did Eddie as she fought tooth and nail to get her baby girl back in her arms. "I warned you, I'm going to take everything you love. Everything!"**_

Eddie woke up and shot out of bed like a rocket, she was perspiring and breathing hard. She ran to April's room and checked her crib. Tom was standing there, watching the baby sleep. "She's so precious," he whispered and slid his arm around Eddie. "I can't believe it's been a year."

"I know," Eddie replied. "I can't either." She bit her lip, she didn't want Tom this close to her or the baby, but if she did make the wrong choice, if she did show her hand, if she did forgive Jamie and lessen her resolve, the one thing she loved more than Jamie could be wrenched away from her. Tom would do that, he was not above making a divorce a business transaction and she witnessed more than once that cold vein of ice he brought to that table. That night at O'Keefe's she had to stand her ground, she could not let her heart win this time, she had to do what was best for her baby. She'd give up what she wanted to do for what she had to, that's what a mother does…She couldn't lose her April, she just couldn't.

Jamie made sure he was at O'keefe's early. He didn't want Eddie to possibly think he wasn't coming. When Eddie arrived, she looked beautiful. Jamie stood up and reached for her immediately. Eddie let Jamie give her hug, then sat down across from him. He had ordered her usual beer. Eddie took a sip of her beer and waited for Jamie to speak. She had not changed her mind, she was not going to go down this path.

Jamie took a deep breath, "I respect what you said about us being over, but would you consider going back to the way it was when we first found each other in Montana? We would meet each year, just the two of us no matter what happens during the year, if you don't want that physical connection I respect that but just to be friends... to reconnect as friends, to be in each other's lives for that one week in Montana. Otherwise, we would only have contact in real emergencies. Please Eddie, I couldn't breathe without knowing that I could have at least that much with you."

Eddie's throat closed, she wanted to grab him and hold him, to say they could make their life the way they had planned, but she'd resigned herself and had to resign him as well. It was better for them. "Montana was a good plan and we got so far away from it, that's what went wrong. For now I promise to take it one year at a time. There is one thing I want you to consider, I haven't been able to let this go since you left the other day. Max, I want to be in his life. I'd like to give him the lessons that I promised to give and let him have that connection with me. I always want to be friends, and I never want you or me to go through something hard without the other one there, but it had to be hard stuff only Jamie. Hard stuff, Montana, and piano for Max."

At this point Jamie would take what he could get, if he could keep contact with Eddie, he had hope, he had time to work on her, to work with her. Jamie gave Eddie his blessing. "I would love for Max to have those lessons. He really cares for you and April, he's not demonstrative with other people very much, but you. I'm willing to be anything and everything you need Eddie, if that a once a year friend…but I won't be a fair weather one. You can count on me, I know I was wrong, I know I failed…"

"I failed too, I made a vow and I broke it. Sleeping with Tom when I promised I wouldn't was wrong, I have to own that," Eddie said between sips of beer. "Jamie, I want you to move on in every aspect of your life. I don't want pain for anyone that is why this decision. You deserve someone that will love you and Max, I want happiness for you both. I want the hurting to stop for us both. It kills me that I hurt you like I did."

"It did hurt, I never broke that promise to you, Eddie. I don't want to move on, not yet and if I…" Jamie clarified. "Even with the parade of women my family put on I never did it, but what I did with work and Spencer, that was wrong too. We both made mistakes, and we both need to be forgiven."

"I have forgiven you, Jamie, and I think you are right, Montana and emergencies, that was good, that was the plan and it worked for a bit, it was good. Let's go back to the plan, okay? You can bring Max the day after Christmas for his first lesson."

"I'll do that," Jamie replied. "Can I see April? While he plays and sings?"

"Yes," Eddie replied. "You're her Mr. Jamie, she loves you. The silence was pressing as they both finished their beers. Jamie stood up and reached into his jacket for a brightly wrapped box. "Merry Christmas, Eddie."

Eddie reached out and took the package from Jamie. She had no gift for him, they were at an end in each other's lives in that way. She meant it. "Jamie, I…"

"It's okay, I want you to have it," Jamie replied. "Please open it."

Eddie's hands shook, she hoped Jamie didn't see that. She pushed the paper aside and looked at the gorgeous note cards. They were pink with white swirls and edged with lacy. Very delicated and feminine, how Jamie saw Eddie. "Please never stop writing me notes," Jamie said, his voice husky with tears. "Even if you don't send them, please never stop writing them."

Eddie bit her lip so hard it bled inside, "I won't. I promise that. And I'll keep it."

Eddie stood to leave with the note cards in her hand, she leaned up on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss on Jamie's cheek. "Goodbye Jamie," she whispered. "I'll see you and Max after Christmas."

On that note, Eddie walked out of O'Keefe's leaving Jamie staring after her, he didn't even both to hide his tears.


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N: First of all, we certainly agree with you that currently the state of Jamko on the show is bleak at best. Maybe too may script writers in the mix? As for our story, these two people are having an affair, they are not in a monogamous relationship as circumstances would have it. This particular Jamie and Eddie are light years ahead of the show's pair but they are still human. They are not work partners at all anymore. Also, is it safe to say they have broken the touch barrier? They are soulmates and fully admit it. These two are in a tough situation and emotions and frustration run high.**

 **We hope you all stay around for the journey no matter how long it lasts. You will need to read to find out, do what is best for you. If you chose to continue on with us, then brace yourself because it's about to get worse...every good story has to be layered! We love this couple, have a little faith!**

 **Think of it like this, when you're a kid and your mom puts a dinner plate in front of you do you always like everything on the plate? She can try to dress up that broccoli all she wants but you are not happy seeing it there! We will give you the meat, the gravy, and delicious mashed potatoes but the broccoli is a necessary evil. Without the broccoli or the angst in this story it wouldn't be balanced and it would already be over.**

 **We have decided to post more frequently until Christmas so we can help you through this section of angst...watch each chapter for the next post date. The last post before Christmas has some really funny sections in it!**

 **Have faith, have patience, broccoli is good for you!**

 **Enjoy the journey,**

 **Kristen and Nancy**

Chapter Sixty Eight

"Put that in there," Eddie encouraged April as they played with her shapes the next morning. "Put it in the hole. Good girl!"

The bell rang, it was Anita's time at the market. Eddie put April on her hip and carried the baby to the door. She opened it, she never expected to see Frank.

"Commissioner, I'm not on duty am I?" Eddie asked. She had cut her shifts back a bit to spend more time with April during the holidays.

"Not at all, this is not a professional visit," Frank replied. "May I?" He reached out to tickle April's chin. She smiled at him and babbled a bit about the block she had in her hand before giving it to Frank.

"Thank you," Frank smiled. "I remember you like the carousel." Frank reached into his bag and pulled out a box. "Let her think it's from Santa…"

Eddie smiled at his gesture, "I think I know why you are here…" Eddie began but Frank cut her off. "Please just listen."

Eddie nodded and let April down to play at their feet as Frank spoke, "You and Jamie…I have not seen a love like yours in many years. It burns with such a bright light and comes from the soul. I have seen many a great marriage without that love, but I have known what a life can be when you have it. My Mary…" Frank swallowed, he missed her more this time of year. "Mary was my soulmate. She could make me so angry, she could make me smile, she could ease the deepest pain in my heart with just a touch of her hand. That doesn't come along a lot and it doesn't come along for everyone. If your father could be here to say this to you, I hope he would. Jamie has mentioned that your father loved your mother deeply, but he's not here so…I'm pinch hitting for him. You got hurt, both of you got hurt, don't hold on to that, hold onto the beautiful memories you shared and all the memories you might still share."

Frank stood up and looked down at April, she was an intelligent child, she amazed him. "I said my piece and I hope you think on it."

Eddie shut her eyes, Frank made sense, he made a lot of sense, but there was no break in her resolve. They had to make changes, there was no choice. If she kept living like she'd been living there would be nothing left of her to give Jamie, Max, April…never mind her job or other people in her life. This was what was best and when the shock and awe died down, Jamie would accept it and so would the rest of the people that knew about them. They would come to see it had to be.

"Thank you very much for your concern," Eddie told Frank as she walked him out. "I'm sorry it didn't work out differently for us but perhaps we aren't what everyone thought we were, including us. Things will settle down and Jamie will see this is best."

Frank gave a nod, he didn't think he would see Jamie smile again, the boy was devastated, he had to as a father and a friend make this last ditch effort. Just before Eddie shut the door she called out, "Frank!" Totally personal now. "Please watch over Jamie and Max, help them make this change. I know it's hard on them, it's hard on me too."

"I'll do that and if you need help, if you need that person to talk to…" He let the offer dangle. It warmed Eddie's broken heart.

Jamie kept up his best spirits for Max on Christmas. He was just the right age to begin enjoying it all. The boy's eyes were wide as saucers when he opened trucks, cars, airplanes and more. It was a wonderful Christmas morning for him. The last present Max opened though was for him, the best. It appeared under the tree early that morning, no one was sure, except for one little elf how it got there. Max pulled out a silver jingle bell on a string, he shook the bell and it made a perfect clear tone, Max matched it immediately and continued to shake the musical toy all day. "Who gave him that?" Jamie asked looking for a note or a card. Frank shook his head, "Santa."

The same for April, she had more toys than she knew what do to do with, but when she opened a little, stuffed carousel horse, she held onto it for dear life and didn't let go. "Who gave her that?" Tom asked Eddie as they watched April play.

"Santa," Eddie replied with a small smile.

Christmas in the Manning house was a business affair. Tom's colleagues came over and Eddie did her proper duty, then broke away to play with April and her new toys. She wanted to text Jamie a Merry Christmas, but she didn't do that, it would break her own rule. Instead, with her little girl on her lap, Eddie wrote him a note.

At the Reagan house, Jamie wanted to text Eddie as well, but Danny helped him see reason. "She's asking for her space, give her space until Montana, and then little brother you move in on her again, you remind her of why you couldn't make it once a year. For now, honor her wishes."

Jamie hated that Danny was right, but he was. He had to let Eddie go, at least for now. He would see her tomorrow with Max for his first lesson. Max shook his bell…and then it was clear. Eddie couldn't let Christmas go by without giving Max a gift, this was a special thing between the two of them, of course the bell was from Eddie. But Jamie wouldn't let on that he knew that, not even to her.

Eddie had bananas and applesauce for Max when he and Jamie arrived for his piano lesson. "Give me that boy," Eddie smiled and reached out for him. Max gave kisses to Eddie without being prompted to do so. He didn't wiggle to get down he let her hold him. April wanted Jamie to pick her up, he did and airplaned her around the room. "Show me your toys," he prompted. "Come on, show me toys…" He set April down and she took off as fast as she could go.

Eddie sat at the piano with Max on her lap. "Okay, Maxy, let's see what you've got."

Jamie heard Eddie playing notes and Max singing them, then he heard her sing a note. There was a long pause but then…"Plink Plink…" Max played the notes with is little fingers. The sound was so soft, but he was doing it. "April," Jamie looked at her as she handed him toy after toy, but not her horse, that she kept in a little pile with a bear she loved and a red spotted ball. "April, play?" She held her flashcards.

The baby girl plopped on her butt, "Mew mew," she said wanting to see the kitty first. Jamie beamed, she remembered.

Anita observed Jamie with April and Eddie with Max. These four people belonged together, but something had happened to harden Ms. Eddie's heart. She hoped this precious time with Max would help to soften that resolve.

"You did such a good job, Max!" Eddie praised with a kiss and a hug. "Do you want to eat a little? Eat?"

"Ee…" Max echoed and got off Eddie's lap. He walked directly to the kitchen making sure Eddie was behind him. Eddie served both kids a lunch of bananas and apple sauce along with their water and milk. She served Jamie tuna and enjoyed some herself.

"Did you have a good holiday?" Eddie asked. "Max looks so happy."

Jamie nodded, "He was so cute, he loved every minute of it. He passed out on Pop about eight and was down for the count. He loves his nap but not yesterday. What about April?"

"She loves the horse your Dad got her, so thank him for me please," Eddie replied.

"My Dad gave April a gift?" Jamie asked, crossing his eyebrows.

"Yes, they had some time together earlier this year that he felt was special so…" Eddie replied. "Be careful at daycare too, there is a bad strain of flu going around for kids and Max gets that cough…"

Her concern for his son warmed Jamie's heart, "Thanks Eddie. Thanks, partner," he tried and got a smile.

Perhaps, Eddie thought, this new thing would work, they could have their cake and eat it too. But when it came time to leave. "No go!" Max wailed again holding onto Eddie's leg. "No go…no no!"

April began to fuss, "No no…no no…" Eddie sighed. "Maxy, look at Ms. Eddie…" She held the boy's face firmly. "You have to be a good boy and go bye bye with Daddy, then in two day you'll come back and we'll sing. Good boy, Max."

Max hiccupped and cried but he echoed her words, "Goo boy…"

Jamie stepped out of the room to give Eddie some alone time with Max. She had a special way of calming the little boy. Jamie was startled to see Tom step into the hallway. He didn't even know he was home. "Hey, Jamie, how's it going? He's pretty upset huh?"

"Yeah, I'm giving Eddie a few minutes to settle him, she's got the touch."

"Eddie's an incredible mother, our April is so lucky to have her," Tom replied. "We're a family, a unit...Eddie's a huge part of that, but of course, my baby girl is the center of my world."

"April is a very special child," Jamie replied. "I feel the same way about Max. He's my life, and has to be my sole focus."

Tom nodded, "My little April, there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her close. If anything or anyone was threatening my connection with her, well our connection with her, If anyone threatened that, I'd take her so far away no one would find us."

"Well, let's hope no one does threaten that then," Jamie replied. "At least not again. It had to be so hard for you when she was taken."

Tom nodded once, "It was...and I won't feel like that again. No matter what..."

With that, Tom disappeared into his office, and Jamie went to claim Max, not responding to his veiled threat.

Max was fussing only a little when Jamie returned to the living room.

Jamie picked him up and rubbed his back. "You're okay, Daddy's got you, we're going to see Pop and show him what you learned. See Pop?"

Jamie left quickly while Max was borderline calm. He would get used to seeing Eddie and having to leave, the more times they did it, the easier the separation would be.

Max calmed more easily this time than the time before and a quick hug and kiss settled April down, it was the parents that were struggling to leave without a hug or a kiss, but that too would get better with time.

Jamie juggled Max on his hip as they waited on the return line at Macy's two days later. The boy was in a good mood that day, giggling and smiling as Jamie tickled his little belly. The next day Max had his lesson at Eddie's, today was time for him and Max to spend time until he had to go to work later that night.

When it was finally their turn, Jamie sat Max on the counter and gave the gift receipts to the clerk. "He's too big for some of these already," she observed. "They get big so fast don't they?"

Jamie smiled at Max, "They sure do. Just a credit please."

Jamie waited for the clerk to issue the gift card then headed out to the food court to get lunch for himself and Max. While he was sitting feeding the boy some of his yogurt partfait he heard a familiar voice. "Jamie Reagan, oh my goodness he's gotten so big since I saw you. Do you remember me?"

Jamie looked up at the fair skinned, dark haired woman, he did remember her from Frank's birthday and the ill fated dinner Henry set up that nearly ruined things with Eddie the first time around. "Camille,' Jamie replied surprising himself that he remembered her name. "I do remember you, Happy New Year, how have you been?"

"Good, very good, I was just transferred to the kindergarten class in Fort Hamilton so I'll be teaching closer to you. I was hoping we'd see each other again." Camille took it upon herself to sit down at the table. "I just got my wrap and salad, mind if I join you?"

Jamie felt a pang of guilt, his heart and soul belonged to Eddie, but her words from O'Keefe's came rushing back to him, "Move on in all aspects of your life…" She had meant that, Montana would be their only connection.

Camille looked at Max working on a berry, "You are such a good boy, sitting nice for Daddy. I bet Santa Claus left you lots and lots of presents."

Max smiled at her and giggled when she tickled his belly. Jamie only saw Max respond that way to Eddie, it was a relief to see him come out of his shell so fast.

Jamie had spent a lot of time thinking, perhaps this was the answer to his prayers for guidance, a woman he did like, that wasn't repulsive, and that liked kids. Perhaps this is what Eddie meant by beginning to move on. Jamie kept the conversation going, "He did, the family and Santa spoiled him rotten. He's just the right age to really embrace it and enjoy. He's taking music lessons now, he can match pitch and tone perfectly."

"He's young for that," Camille replied. 'But some kids are more adept at one thing than the other. How are you…"

The talk kept up for almost an hour before Max fussed for a new diaper. "I better change him and get him home for his nap. It was great talking to you again, Camille."

Camille gave Jamie a wry smile and batted her eyes, "My number is on the card,' she offered. "Perhaps more adult conversation the next time." Her eyes were hopeful as she gave Max one more little tickle and walked away with a bounce in her lively step.

 **A/N2: The next update will be Monday, December 18** **th** **.**


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter Sixty Nine

Jamie was up most of the next night thinking about his chance meeting with Camille. He was still thinking when he brought Max for his lesson the following day. Once again, Eddie took Max in her arms and held him tight. The boy held her close and smiled his adorable smile. He loved being held close by Eddie like this.

Jamie decided he would see how Eddie was, if she showed even the smallest sign of softening her resolve he would put the idea of moving on out of his mind forever, but if she was the same or firmer, he would for his own sake and Max's try to rebuild his life.

Eddie allowed Jamie's flashcard game with April while she gave Max an extra long lesson. In truth, it was actually hugs and snuggles for the second part of the hour more than singing and playing the keys. Eddie needed the little boy's cuddled and huggedging as much as he needed it from her. They had a special bond.

When the lesson was over, Eddie had lunch for the kids, herself and Jamie. Their talk was about the kids mostly and Eddie deciding to go back to work a few more shifts now that the holidays had passed.

"Tom's not on board, he wants me to quit but…" Eddie sighed.

"You can't quit, you can cut back, but you can't quit," Jamie replied "You're gifted, we need you, the NYPD needs you."

Having Jamie's faith in her was always a blessing for Eddie, she loved helping people, helping kids and their families overcome some of the worst circumstances they ever had to face. "Thanks Jamie. I needed to hear that."

After lunch, Jamie stood up and reached out for Eddie. She stepped back and picked up Max to give him goodbye hugs, "I'll see you soon little man," she smiled. "You be good for Daddy. Give me bye bye kisses."

Max bestowed his soft little kiss on Eddie's cheek, then predictably began to cry as Jamie took him out. "No go.." he sobbed and reached for Eddie, kicking his legs and waving his arms. Eddie had to bite her lip each time he left, each time they both left. Eddie held April tight, the baby girl waved, "Bye Bye…' she said to her friend and his daddy. She understood they would be back, they always came back.

This time it wasn't just Max that cried when they left. Jamie wiped tears off his own face as he pulled the car away from Eddie's gate. She was done with him, she meant everything, and now a week in Montana was all he had left of her. He'd make that week count, but it was four months away. When Eddie was resigned like this, she didn't break easily if at all.

Eddie was right, their relationship had changed and he had to accept it and move on with his life, doing that would make it easier. He had no intention of giving up Montana though, none.

When Jamie got home and put a sleepy Max down for his nap, he fished out the card Camille gave him at the mall the other day. She picked up after two rings, "Hey, Camille, it's Jamie Reagan."

The date was set for the following weekend, a new date for a new year as Camille put it. The last few times Jamie asked girls out, he would be on the phone with them at least a half hour discussing their plans, feeling the excitement, but this time the call lasted ten minutes and it was mostly all Camille talking. It hurt to think about doing this, but holding onto the past was just as painful.

Jamie decided to keep the date, but he met Camille at a Moroccan place in Manhattan, he didn't' want to pick her up and give this more validation than it deserved. It was a date, pure and simple and might not be more. He was doing this for Eddie, to show her that her words meant so much to him. He hoped that doing this would show her than and by the time they got back to Montana, Eddie would be feeling better and would be able to listen to him again.

"How are you?" Camille smiled. She was dressed in a black and red jumper and white turtleneck, Jamie could see Eddie in that outfit, in fact except for the fact Eddie hate Moroccan food he could see her in the chair across from him.

Jamie handled the date like a gentleman, he stood when Camille arrived, he pulled out her chair, but he couldn't feel a connection, he felt nothing inside.

"I'm good, we're doing well. It's nice to see you, how was you New Year?"

The small talk began, it was awkward and very uncomfortable for Jamie. He tried his best to enjoy himself and find things to like; Camille had a nice laugh, she asked about Max and had a book for the boy, and she ate like a bird…that was odd, he was used to a girl with a healthy appetite.

"Do you want to dance?" Camille asked as they ate. "They have belly dancing…"

"Oh, I don't dance," Jamie said quickly. "Medical reasons, two left feet."

Camille laughed at that. "Jamie, are you okay? You seem so quiet."

"I'm fine," Jamie replied. 'Nervous you know. I haven't dated much and it's odd for me that's all." His face was red as a beat, he was lying and he knew that she knew that. There was no way this was going to work, but still he owed it a change. Eddie said move on and he was going to try. Even Linda agreed to he should.

Somehow Jamie made it through the dinner and home. Max was just falling asleep when he got inside and Henry was glaring at him. "Don't start, Pop. I'm doing what Eddie wants, she wants me to move on, she wants her marriage, we're done. What else can I do?"

"What else? You can fight for her, not roll over into the hay with the first thing you see," Henry replied.

"Oh, no…I'm not even…" Jamie drank some milk from the bottle. "Not even, I'm not even sure if I'll see her again.." And it was true. He wasn't.

Tom was out late that night, Eddie laid down on their bed and sighed. She was so exhausted at the end of the day, each day a growing effort. She missed Jamie, even more now than when they were missing the mark. Then she did have hope, now she had nothing but her one resolution of their romantic life and a drawer full of love letters that would never be read.

Eddie couldn't fall asleep, she got up and got the note cards out again and sat at her vanity.

Dearest Jamie,

I was a fool. I was jealous, hurt, and a damn fool. I want to fix us, I want to be what we once were. I want our family, I want it all. Please say that you'll forgive me. Please say we can have our famiy, you, me, Max, and April, all of us.

I'm in such pain, Jamie. I'm so alone even with Anita, Tom, and April. I live for the days you bring little Max to play piano, his little hugs, your sweet smile…it's the ointment I need to continue to breath.

Eddie stopped there and got up to tend to April's crying. Just before she was about to resume her work, Eddie heard Tom coming home. She put the letter away and crawled into bed, pulling her knees up and shutting her eyes. She fell asleep before Tom got into the room, her mind taking her to where she desperately wanted to be.

"Is she okay?" Jamie asked gently as Eddie got back into their bed.

"Yeah, she's okay, that back tooth is giving her a problem, she needed to cuddle with Mommy."

Jamie smiled and put his arms around Eddie's waist, "I like to cuddle with Mommy too," Jamie whispered and nuzzled Eddie's cheek. He softly began to run his lips down her neck to her shoulder. "We should have four more kids, two more boys, two more girls…and they'll all be geniuses, one of each kind. Music and linguistic we have covered…"

"Dream," Eddie laughed but rolled on her back parting her legs to allow him entry as they were kissing and touching their intimacy not diminishing ever even now they had realized their family plans.

It was a blissful place, each other's arms. They loved being together, the four of them, even with Jamie's family they carved out their own little corner of the world.

Jamie woke up with a smile then realized he was in his own bed alone and not snuggled with Eddie, their children sleeping down the hall. That's what could have been. What Jamie didn't know was Eddie had the same dream….and was waking in Tom's arms at that moment biting her lip to keep from saying his name.

That same night, Linda and Danny were having a conversation about Jamie. "Did he tell you how it went or call at all?" Linda pumped.

"No," Danny replied. "With Eddie, he wants to go for beers and talk all the time about her and what they were doing. He even got graphic and you know that is not like Jamie to do that at all. He is so in love with her Linda, this is the worst idea he's ever had dating Mary freaking Poppins to try to get over her. They aren't suited, I'm telling you Lin!"

Linda rubbed Danny's chest, "Well, before you get all upset about this, what if we went out together, the four of us. We could see Jamie and Camille as a couple and I, as a woman could gauge how things were going. Then if we needed to, we could figure out how to step in."

"Step in, Linda?" Danny asked. "Honestly, the kid made this mess, he took overtime, he went out with his friends and he left her wondering if she mattered, now Mary Poppins…he' made this mess, let him clean it up."

"Daniel," Linda sighed. "Jamie's made messes before when he was six it was paste now it's women even though he is thirty six so…we will help him all we can. Get it?"

Danny laughed, he had to love Linda's resolve. 'Okay, you set up this double date and we'll see how this Camille person is for him but I'm telling you I've seen it, it's gonna be Eddie or no one at all."

Linda agreed that might be the case but they had to give Jamie time. She wanted her brother-in-law to be happy and she would fight for that no matter who the person was he ended up with, even if he stayed single, Jamie finally deserved to be happy.

Max had another lesson a few days later, he was starting to learn the pattern of when he would be going and asking Jamie, "Eddie?"

"Yes, Max, today you see Eddie," Jamie told the boy. "You go with Grandpa and Uncle Danny is picking you up! Daddy has to work today."

Max didn't understand but it helped Jamie to explain to him what was happening around him. He put Max in a cute plaid shirt and black overalls with the secret buttons to make changing him easier if that needed to be done. Max wasn't showing him any signs he was ready to begin training. He was soaked after his nap and in the morning.

Jamie headed for his tour and Max played with his toys until Frank swung by to deliver him for his lesson. It was very important to Jamie that Max had his lesson, the boy was learning so well and so fast. There was no reason to disturb it.

Eddie agreed to keep Max a couple hours until Danny could come and get him. Eddie was grateful for the extra time with her favorite little guy. April was upset that Jamie wasn't there to do cards with her, "mew mew," she told her mommy as Eddie sat with Max.

"We'll play cards after Maxy sings, sit by Mommy…" Eddie sat with both little ones as if they were both her children. "Okay, here we go. Sing it out Max…" His tiny clear voice warmed her soul.

 **A/N: The next update will post Wednesday, December 20** **th** **.**


	70. Chapter 70

Danny was late to pick up Max, Eddie was playing with both children when Anita announced he was there for the boy. Eddie stood up, "Uncle Danny is here for Max!" Eddie made it sound so special. She carried the little guy to his godfather. "He was perfect, a little angel."

"I'm glad he's getting better staying with other people finally," Danny replied. "It's going to be rough when Linda and I are out with Jamie and his new friend, Pop has Poker and Dad has a conference, if he was being rough with people watching him."

"Oh," Eddie replied hearing the words new friend. She had told Jamie she wanted him to move on with his life, but this was pretty fast. Usually he stuck in like glue and didn't make a move, he did with her.

Eddie looked down just for a second. To the untrained eye, she wasn't affected by Danny's words but to her friend and a veteran cop, she was. Danny saw the opportunity here, and he took it.

"Eddie, look," Danny began but Eddie shook her head. "Danny, it's no use…"

Danny cut her off, he was always more aggressive, perhaps they needed aggressive, "I've had a front row seat to this relationship, even gotten my hands dirty for both of you. You owe me the chance to get something off my chest Eddie."

It was only fair, Eddie nodded and let Danny speak his piece.

"I see the kid moving on, and fast by all accounts, me and Linda are actually doubling with him and that Camille chick, but I see sadness in him every single day and now I see you with that same sadness. You can put on a good face, you both can, but don't you think for one damn minute you're fooling me! The longer you live this lie the harder it will be to fix. Do you honestly think that you can have a love like this and not care for it? If you ignore it you'll kill it and that would be a damn shame... wake up before it's too late."

"It died on it's own," Eddie replied. "We burned it so hot that it flamed out, Jamie was hurting, I was hurting…I don't want him to hurt. I want him to be happy, that is what I want more than for me to be happy. Jamie should be happy."

Danny nodded slowly, "You see it my way then, Jamie should be happy, so chew on this one, do you want Jamie to be happy on your terms? Or do you want him to be happy even if it's with you?"

Danny reached for Max, letting his words hang in the air. Danny wasn't tender about removing the boy, he plucked the crying tot away like a seasoned pro. Eddie could hear Max crying as Danny took him out, she felt tears of her own in her eyes, but only let two escape.

"Why don't you get us a table?" Eddie asked Tom as they arrived to the charity pancake breakfast for the food pantry. Tom was a significant donor and the NYPD sponsored the event. Jamie would be there with his new friend but Eddie was determined to put on a smile if she had to and otherwise enjoy her morning.

Eddie found Kara and Regetti helping with the set up and went to mingle with her friends. Jamie hadn't arrived just yet. Tom carried April on his hip over to where Frank and Mayor Poole were taking photos. "Well, hello there, Ms. April," Frank smiled at the little girl. "You need to come and play at my house again soon. I have a toy you'll really like. Have you brought her on the carousel at the mall?" Frank asked. "I took her once when I watched her for Eddie."

"We have and she does love rides, perhaps next week we can bring her to play, she does so nicely with your grandson. Is he coming today?" Tom asked trying to gauge if Jamie was coming.

"He is supposed to be coming but there was a debate about socks that was going pretty heavy when I had to leave, we'll see who wins that one," Frank laughed. "Jamie's a loving but stern father, rules are rules."

At Jamie's name April's ears perked, "Mew Mew…kit mew mew…" she told both older men. "Yeah…"

"She talks so well for a year old," Mayor Poole smiled. 'And you are so pretty."

Tom took the praise of his little girl then found a seat as Eddie joined them with the first plates of hot pancakes and bacon. Whenever she had pancakes, she thought of Jamie, that was their thing, their special thing. She missed it.

Eddie's nose alerted her to Jamie's arrival, she smelled that cologne. She turned her head to see that Jamie had arrived with Camille and Max. She tried to ignore it and focus on her own family. Still Eddie's eyes kept going to Jamie's table, Camille was waiting on him, bringing his food and coffee, kissing his cheek. She was trying to feed Max his pancake but the boy was not having it. "I don't understand," Camille sighed. "He ate for me the other night when we had pizza."

"He's had a tough morning, he was stressed before we met up with you," Jamie excused. "Let him be, he'll eat when he's hungry."

Max tossed the pancake that Camille gave him and squirmed to get down and play games. "You can't get down and play until you eat, " she told him. Max started to cry.

As Max's eyes searched for a way down, they fell on Eddie. His friend Eddie…Max reached his arms out and started calling. "Mommom, momom…" He heard April call Eddie that all the time.

"What's he doing?" Camille asked as Eddie's maternal instinct went into overdrive. She heard the distress call and picked April up. "April, your friend Max is here! Let's go see him while Daddy is talking to his friends. Come on…"

Eddie approached the table with a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, Jamie" she smiled and looked at Max. "What's the matter, Max? Do you want to get down and play? Jamie, can I take him to play with April a bit. He's upset and he's…"

"Eddie. Mommom…" Max wailed and stretched for her in his high chair.

"Clearly very upset." Eddie didn't wait to for Jamie to tell her it was okay. She picked Max up and held him tight for a minute. "Why are you so upset huh?"

Eddie's touch was magic, Max settled down quickly. "Sure, we aren't staying much longer though," Jamie told Eddie. "Let him run."

Camille was not happy about that, she knew kids and Max would be spoiled if Jamie didn't discipline him better now. Eddie put Max down, before taking his little hand in hers she handed him a dry pancake off of Jamie's plate. The boy started to eat immediately. Eddie held Max's hand in her right and April's in her left. She lead both kids to the play area to get face painting and play baby bowling.

"Jamie, why did you let him get down when he was being disobideint?" Camille asked. "Max is a little delayed…"

"Eddie loves Max, she can work with him and now he's eating and he's playing, he's not crying. I'm good with that," Jamie replied. "Max is gifted, maybe not with books, maybe he will be, but he is musical and that is special." His father's claws were out.

Jamie watched Eddie playing with the kids, he fought the urge to join in. That was something that he would have done before, things were not the same now, they were very different. Tom got up from where he was sitting and joined in to play. Max held close to Eddie, Tom was a new person but April embraced the hugs and time with her daddy. Jamie felt a pang of pain so acute he nearly cried out from it, that was his family, playing together, without him. Another man had his family…

Jamie took Camille around and introduced her to some people. He didn't' say the word "girlfriend" he couldn't give her that distinction, but he couldn't just sit at the table and stare either. This was the best option.

Eddie let Max and April play an hour, then she took Max's hand. "Give April bye bye hugs, you'll see her when we sing."

Max gave April hugs then took Eddie's hand and toddled back to his father. "He ate the whole pancake and I think he just wet, do you want me to.."

"Oh, no,' Jamie replied. "I got him, thanks for playing with him. He had a good time I can tell."

Eddie smiled. "I love him like my own, you know that. I'll see him on Tuesday. Will I see you or?"

"No, still going to be Danny until later next week when my hours switch again. He loves his lessons though, thanks for helping out watching him too."

Camille watched from the sidelines, so this was why Jamie was still so standoffish with her. She had a rival for his affections and Max's as well. If she couldn't convince the child she was the best woman, she had no hope of convincing the father…she had her work cut out for her. Perhaps at their double date with Jamie's brother on Wednesday she could make some inroads, that would be her new goal. For now, she'd bide her time and keep a smile on her face. She still had a shot, she thought to herself, thank God Eddie was married.

Eddie 's blood was boiling as she saw Jamie leave with Camille almost seconds after handed Max over. She glared at the woman over Jamie's shoulder the entire time they were talking. How dare she let him cry and force him like that, she was not his parent. Jamie was! Jamie saw the green-eyed monster peeking out from inside of Eddie. Was that too much to hope for? Could coming here and letting Eddie see Camille be the thing that began to open her up again? Jamie wanted to hope for that.

As Eddie began to walk back to Tom, Jamie scooped up Max and started to leave. He couldn't watch Tom with Eddie anymore, he couldn't watch half of his family with someone else and Max…the faster he separated him from Eddie the better, he would be calmer and the day more pleasant. Jamie set his hopes for Friday, perhaps a good talk over lunch would be productive for them. He'd have to wait and see.

Danny and Linda waited at their table at Il Giordino for Jamie and Camille to arrive. "Don't bring it up again with him," Linda warned. "Max likes Eddie, she's sort of his adopted Mommy, of course it's hard on him to leave her. Jamie is fine with it for now, let it be."

"The kid puked all over my backseat, he was screaming so hard, that's not good for him, he's my godson and I love him."

"I love him too, and it's okay for him to be a little upset, here they are, smile pretty."

Linda put on her best smile and warmly greeted Camille. If this is what Jamie wanted, she wanted to try to make it work.

Jamie and Camille sat down and they ordered wine and their appetizers. Camille was leaning very close to Jamie, she kept touching his arm, rubbing his hand. Jamie felt like he wanted to crawl in a hole, Danny felt his brother's pain.

Camille was nervous, and when she was she talked and talked and talked. Linda listened to her words and watched her actions. This girl was on a mission to make Jamie see she was the right person to help him raise his son, that was her clear goal. That bothered Linda a great deal, especially since she didn't' see Jamie responding at all.

"I think kids are the future of the world and each one is special,' Camille blabbered on and on. She was an intelligent woman, she had picked the wrong crowd. Danny was team Eddie all the way, Linda wanted Jamie's happiness.

"I'm so excited that you wanted to go out together…" Camille was saying as the main course arrived. Danny kicked Jamie under he table, "Excuse me would you? I need to step away," Danny stood up and headed for the men's room. The kick was a nudge for Jamie to do the same.

Linda was trying hard to keep up the conversation as Jamie stepped away to meet Danny in the bathroom. "What the Hell are you doing Kid? This one isn't' for you, she's Claudia with sugar instead of brine that's all."

"She is not Claudia, okay?" Jamie defended quickly, surprising himself.

"She is like her, she is pushy, she's gonna rub the skin off your hand!" Danny sighed. "Try to make a go with Eddie, push it if you have to. You love her and you are both miserable and sad. I'm not going to let you make another trash heap of your life. Wake the Hell up!" Danny left Jamie to think. He stopped at the bar and downed a shot before heading back to the table. He was not sure he was going to make it through this night.

Jamie took another few minutes to think before heading back. He had to make a life for himself and Max outside of Eddie, that was once a year for them, except for Max's lessons. Jamie cherished those lessons, it gave him some chances with Eddie but now those were fewer and farther between. He was a father with a little son, a son that deserved a family. Camille was kind and a good person, she was a little nervous tonight, this wasn't really her…

Jamie returned to the table, both Danny and Linda looked like they'd rather have root canal than sit there another second with Camille. He really would have to try harder, it would have to start with him.

Jamie took Camille home that night. She was upset about how things had gone. "They didn't like me, I made a fool of myself trying to impress them."

"You don't have to impress them," Jamie replied. "My brother will always be my brother, that's just how he is and Linda is looking out for me. When she sees that I'm good, she'll be good. You came on too strong, you tried too hard. After my marriage ended, they are careful of people that are…"

"And I…I'm so sorry, Jamie" Camille replied. "It's just I feel that we've been seeing each other nearly a month now and you…" She took matters into her own hands. Jamie hadn't kissed her more than a peck, tonight…

Jamie's mouth opened on instinct, but the rest of the kiss was mental not emotional. If he was going to try to make it work, he had to kiss and hug this woman. He'd eventually have to do more than that but his pact with Eddie was too strong for him to break just yet, even if she was steadily breaking it.

After only a few seconds, Jamie pulled away. He felt nothing more than the warm sensation he always felt in his face when he was kissed in public, the only person he didn't get that with was Eddie, he could kiss her on stage at Madison Square Garden to a sold out show and not feel a hint of embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," Camille replied. "That was so forward, you said when you called to go slow but…"

"I need to take my time," Jamie replied. He searched his mind for words but they weren't there. Let's just take it one day at a time, okay? Don't worry about today, we had a good meal and my brother paid, that in itself is something to smile about. Good night."

Jamie turned and left Camille to go inside. It was frustrating for her that he didn't kiss or hug her often. She knew he would be slow to be intimate, his religion and hers were important to them, but this. He'd asked for time, she would give it a bit more time, when he got Eddie out of his system, things would shift in her favor. She just had to be patient.

Eddie opened the door on Friday surprised to find Frank instead of Jamie. "Is Jamie…" Eddie began. She knew flu was going around the NYPD.

"He got called to work at the last minute," Frank replied. "Renzulli has the flu so bad he can barely stand up. Jamie will come pick him up around 4 if you don't mind keeping him until then."

Eddie took Max into her arms and gave him kisses, "Not at all. I'm happy to help with him. I'm glad he didn't have to miss his lesson."

"So are we, it's amazing what he does at his age," Frank smiled with pride. "A lot of it thanks to you."

"I'm only helping him, Max is gifted and talented, that's all him," Eddie smiled. "Do you want a cup of coffee before you go?"

Frank accepted a cup to go then Eddie got started with Max. April played with her shapes while Eddie played and sang with Max. He learned to play two scales and sing them from memory that day alone.

Eddie fed the kids their lunch and put them both in for naps together. "They are so sweet, such good friends already," Anita smiled. "How long is the little guy staying?"

"He'll be here until around four so we shouldn't need to feed him any dinner, but if we do…"

"I'll make sure there is enough for him," Anita smiled. Eddie sat down and watched the babies sleep, she loved to do that with April, Max was the gravy.

 **A/N: The next update will be tomorrow, Thursday, December 21. There will be one update per day through Saturday, there will be no updates over the Christmas holiday. We'll resume updating Wednesday, December 27** **.**


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter Seventy One

Eddie opened the door on Friday surprised to find Frank instead of Jamie. "Is Jamie…" Eddie began. She knew flu was going around the NYPD.

"He got called to work at the last minute," Frank replied. "Renzulli has the flu so bad he can barely stand up. Jamie will come pick him up around 4 if you don't mind keeping him until then."

Eddie took Max into her arms and gave him kisses, "Not at all. I'm happy to help with him. I'm glad he didn't have to miss his lesson."

"So are we, it's amazing what he does at his age," Frank smiled with pride. "A lot of it thanks to you."

"I'm only helping him, Max is gifted and talented, that's all him," Eddie smiled. "Do you want a cup of coffee before you go?"

Frank accepted a cup to go then Eddie got started with Max. April played with her shapes while Eddie played and sang with Max. He learned to play two scales and sing them from memory that day alone.

Eddie fed the kids their lunch and put them both in for naps together. "They are so sweet, such good friends already," Anita smiled. "How long is the little guy staying?"

"He'll be here until around four so we shouldn't need to feed him any dinner, but if we do…"

"I'll make sure there is enough for him," Anita smiled. Eddie sat down and watched the babies sleep, she loved to do that with April, Max was the gravy.

At four thirty, the bell rang. Max was playing nicely so Eddie went to let Jamie in. She was shocked to see Camille there instead. "Jamie's stuck at work, I'm here for Max." Her smile made Eddie's teeth hurt.

"Oh, he's playing with April, so…" Eddie replied. 'I'll get him."

"Come on, Max," Eddie smiled ."It's time to go bye bye, you're going home to Daddy." Eddie lifted him and started to walk to the living room. When Max saw Camille he broke into tears. He never liked to leave but this was much worse than usual. "No go, no go!" Max wailed, kicking his legs and feet. "No go! Mommom…no go!"

Camille reached to take him from Eddie's arms but he latched onto her neck and her waist with his arm and legs holding tight. "No go…mommom.."

Eddie sighed, "Let me rock him a bit and see how he does. He always cries when it's time to go but…" Eddie shook her head. She had never seen him like that.

"Oh, Maxy," Eddie sighed. "It's okay. It's okay." She rocked him gently and began to sing the lullaby she recorded on his bear. It quieted him for the moment but as soon as Camille moved for him, the crying began again.

"Let me just take him," Camille said after their third try. "He'll stop in the car when he's away from seeing you."

Eddie shook her head, "This child is in my care and he is not leaving it like this. He's far too upset to be in a car or anyplace but with me or his father. Jamie is going to have to come get him, he's not leaving with you."

Eddie sat down again and rocked Max and April. Max's upset made April cry, she was not only intune with her friend but disturbed by the chaos. Eddie softly sang to both of them while Camille fumed. 'You'd like that wouldn't you? That Jamie comes here and sees how much Max loves you and hates me? That's your plan with this right?"

Eddie raised her eyebrow, "My only plan is to help this little boy breathe. Anita, come take April please…"

Max's breathing was hitching and catching. He was shaking and had thrown up in Eddie's hair. She ignored that and focused on the distraught little boy. "He is a baby, he is scared and I'm a mother, if not his and I will not allow him out of my sight or my arms for you."

Eddie reached for her phone and called Jamie. He got scared when he saw her number, it had to be dire if she was calling him. "What's…Is that April? What happened? What hospital…"

"It's not April, it's Max," Eddie replied. 'He's hysterical and I can't in good conscience let him go with Camille. He's thrown up, he's shaking, he's cold, I have him wrapped…"

Jamie sighed, his boy was in such pain and he couldn't help him. "I'll be there soon, just hold him, you know if you hold him he'll stop crying

"He's not leaving my arms, Jamie,' Eddie reiterated. "You trusted me with him, he's too scared, I can't."

"I know, thank you," Jamie sighed. "I'm leaving soon."

Jamie sighed as he got in his car and headed to Long Island. This had to stop, Max was getting upset more and more when it was time to go home from his lessons. He was too attached to Eddie and it was breaking the poor baby's heart. Jamie vowed to himself that in all of this Max was going to come first. At first, Jamie felt that having the mother figure in Eddie would help his son develop, learn and grow but the hysterical crying and physical illness was too much on a little boy, it was too much on anyone. Jamie did not want to terminate those lessons for anything, he wanted Max to learn and he wanted that excuse to connect with his best friend a few times in the week. Still, Max had to come before all of that, before Eddie, before him. He knew what he would have to do when he got to Eddie's house, for the first time ever Jamie was thankful for the traffic.

It took two hours to get to Manhasset. When Anita let Jamie inside, he didn't hear Max wailing, he saw Eddie with the tiny boy in her arms. He was awake, watching with wide eyes for someone to try to take him again. Eddie smiled at Jamie, "Look Maxy, it's Daddy. Say hi to Daddy."

Max waved at Jamie thinking it was going to be time to play with his Daddy and Eddie, he was exhausted from his tears but he still loved that time. Jamie reached for Max, "Okay, Buddy, time to go home, Daddy's here now. Were you scared?"

"Oh, Jamie it was awful," Camille sighed. "He cried and cried and she didn't let me take him, he would have stopped."

"Eddie did the right thing," Jamie replied. 'He's not familiar enough with you yet but…" Max began to sob the minute Jamie lifted him and headed for the door. "No go…" His cry was tired and defeated, he knew he was going even against his will. It broke Jamie's heart to see the distress. As tired as Max was, he put up a heck of a fight. Jamie had pulled the boy to get him to release but he used all his strength to cling to Eddie's embrace. Eddie finally had to push Max into Jamie's arms, both adults were fighting tears of their own.

"Eddie, can I…" Jamie wanted to speak alone but Max was crying again and Tom looked on edge as well with a very tired April on his lap. "I'm sorry, Eddie. As much as I want for him to keep having his lessons and keep, this is too much for him. He's making himself sick and I can't just standby for that. We have no choice, we're going to have to stop his lessons and.."

Stop the lessons. Eddie didn't hear anything beyond those words. Stop his lessons. If Jamie had reached into her body and pulled out here heart it wouldn't have hurt as much as hearing those words. Stop his lessons. That was her time with her little boy, now Jamie was going to take it from her.

"Do we have to, I mean he gets upset but if I…" Eddie began. Jamie saw the pain on her face, it mirrored what he felt in his heart, but he had to think of Max.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie, but yes, we do. We can't do this to him, tease him and then have to drag him out, it's just not right."

Eddie knew Jamie was right, Max was scared, confused, and being hurt by this back and forth. She loved him so much she didn't' want to see him scared or hurt by any of this anymore. With tears stinging the back of her eyes, Eddie nodded. "Okay…you're right it's for the best. Let me know how he does on his music when you find him a new teacher okay?"

Jamie knew it wasn't the music, it was the connection. Eddie bonded with Max just like he had with April, he would miss both mother and daughter, but life dealt them this blow. There was no choice left except to cling to Montana with all they were worth.

Jamie mourned the loss of the time with Eddie just as she was mouring the time with him and with Max. These afternoons were their stolen time at home, now they were no more, their connection was diminished to a week in Montana. Even Tom's heart hurt for his wife, he knew the pain of separation from the one you truly loved. The only person feeling anything beside heartache was Camille, Eddie had been her stumbling block with Jamie and with Max, now it was bye bye Eddie and hello love.

Eddie sat on the sofa, her head in her hands, sobbing her heart out. Tom slid his arms around her and started to rock her back and forth. "I know, I know it's hard Eddie." He dropped a soft kiss on her hair and cuddled her tight. "I know."

"Tom, you don't," Eddie hiccuped. "That poor little baby never knew a mother's love in his life until he and I started to bond. He never knew how that felt and he needs it, he needs that, he needs me!"

"He has a wondeful father, and Jamie is doing what is best for Max," Tom tried to reason. "The baby was too sick, he was too sad when it was time to leave. He needs that love full time and he can't get that here. It wasn't fair to him."

Eddie turned and buried her head in Tom's chest, she couldn't stop the tears for her little Max. She felt like it was a death, she had to mourn that baby boy and it wasn't fair. "What will he think happened?" she asked Tom. "He'll think I abandoned him too, and I did, I didn't fight hard enough I didn't…"

"Jamie is the boy's father," Tom replied. "He has the right, just like we would for April. I know you feel like his mother, I know you love him like his mother but…"

"I know I'm not," Eddie sobbed. "I know I'm not but it hurts! It hurts!" Her cries grew stronger. It wasn't just the pain of losing access to Max, though that pain was crippling, it was the pain of losing Jamie, mostly by her own hand. They might have worked out his distance if she talked to him, but she had betrayed him, though that didn't matter as much now, he was breaking his vow to her too. He was in a relationship and trying to be happy, at her request. Camille might fill her shoes for Jamie, but not for Max.

"I see how you love him, you have so much love in you Eddie," Tom replied. "Maybe it's time we think about using that love a little more. Maybe it's time for us to talk about giving April a little brother or sister. She loved Max and this baby would be a sibling for her…"

Eddie froze. She had only been with Tom a few times since ending things with Jamie and she was slowly stopping that part of their marriage again. It didn't' feel right to her, it didn't' make her feel much of anything. Certainly not love. Now, in the lowest time of her life, he wanted her to discuss another baby.

Eddie pulled back, "Oh Tom, I…I can't even…" Eddie could hardly breath. "Tonight I just…I really need to think about it, we need to talk about it when I'm not…" Eddie had to put it off somehow and not hurt someone else in the process.

Tom stroked Eddie's hair and rubbed her back, "I think we should, but you're far too emotional tonight. Why don't you go up and soak in a hot tub, I'll get April ready for bed and we can watch her fall asleep?"

That sounded good to Eddie. She could still hear Max's cries as Jamie carried him out, but it was Jamie's face, he had been in pain too. Was he doing this to punish her? Or was it really for Max? It didn't matter, her baby boy was gone, and nothing, not even another baby would take his place in her heart.

Max was finally asleep when Jamie brought him into the family home after nine. The little boy's eyes and face were swollen from his upset, and Jamie didn't look much better. Jamie didn't acknowledge his father, who was having a whisky, until he put the baby in his crib. Jamie went back down, took two fingers of Scotch and dropped it down in one gulp. "You're home late, I thought Camille was getting Max. She came for his spare carseat."

"Camille was getting Max,' Jamie replied. "Until he pitched a fit and wouldn't let her take him out. He cried and cried, Eddie had all she could due to calm him down over and over again. He threw up…my son's heart was breaking there, Dad."

"And it seems to me my son's is as well," Frank observed. "What did do you Jamie? You went and got him, did he come?"

"I had to physically pry him out of her arms, he cried until the BQE, he just fell asleep. I told Eddie we can't. I told her we had to stop it and that he can't come for lessons anymore."

"I see," Frank sighed. "Do you think that was the best idea?"

Jamie sat down and put his head in his hands, "I don't know, Eddie was crying as hard as Max when I was done and it was all I could do not to join them. I hurt that I had to do that. I really hurt but I can't put my son in that situation time and again, I can't do it."

Frank sat back in his chair thinking of how to advise Jamie. It was going to come down to his son making a choice, he wasn't very good at that, he weighed his options until it was way too late. "You can't have it both ways Jamie. If you choose Camille then be with Camille. Don't let Max determine what woman you'll be with. Maybe it is Camille, maybe it's someone you haven't met yet maybe it's Eddie yes you need to protect Max from his kind of upset but you need to choose a path and commit to it. Max will follow your lead."

Jamie knew Frank was right, "I don't know if it is, Camille, Dad. Max does not take to her, he was so unloved by Claudia, he might never really take to a woman like he did Eddie. That might have been a gift that I just blew."

Frank blew off the pity, and pushed on, "Plenty of men are single parents that's also an option but the turmoil in your love life should not affect Max. You need to choose, you need to commit... you've hurt Eddie again and I think it was wrong. And now you're going to deal a blow to Camille if you don't commit one way or the other. You have to figure out who and what you want?"

"How?" Jamie asked. "I think I know then they end up not wanting me so…"

"Ask yourself this question," Frank directed. "Who do you wish was in this chair right now to help you decide this problem? I can guarantee it's not me." On that Frank stood up and headed to bed, leaving Jamie to think.


	72. Chapter 72

Chapter Seventy Two

Jamie and Eddie both struggled the next few days. They missed each other terribly, Eddie missed Max so badly it hurt. Today he should be coming for a lesson, she would miss his little voice and his strong cuddles, she'd miss the loving way he attached to her. Each time she thought of that, it hurt again.

Earlier that week, Kara had invited her out for dinner with a few of the girls from the 12th. A few of them had been transferred and it would be nice for the gang to get together. Eddie text Kara she'd go, it would be good to see some of the old gang again.

The four women met at a cop bar with a full menu in the back of the house. Eddie did her best to laugh and smile, one of their friends was in a similar romantic turmoil. She was drowning her sorrows in amaretto sours trying to smile while Kara and Eddie showed off their kids pictures. "She is so cute," they gushed over April. "I wish I had a baby…"

"When the time comes," Kara smiled. "First you have to pick a man. You have two of them coming after you and you're bellyaching about it."

"Cause they each have such good qualities," was the reply. "Ones calm and sweet, the other is fiery and passionate and I have no idea what the heck to do."

Their friend Abbey, the one in the most stable relationship of all began to speak, "My grandmother asked me some questions before I married my Jeb, and when she did I knew what I had to do, that really helped me, let's see if it still works."

Eddie listened intensely. "Ask yourself…" Abbey directed and began to ask Carla a series of questions. "Who's the first person you think about in the morning?"

In Eddie's mind she quickly answered, "Jamie."

"Who's the last person you think of before you go to bed?" Again, for Eddie the answer was Jamie.

"Who makes you laugh?" Abbey continued. "Who do you count on to come through in a pinch? Who's your best friend? Who makes your blood boil they can make you so mad? Whose babies can you see yourself having and holding?"

The answer was always the same for Eddie. Kara knew that when she turned and looked at her friend but she asked, more to help Eddie realize than anything else, "What name did you come up with?" It was a whisper that Carla and Abbey missed as they laughed about how indecisive Carla really was..

Tonight was supposed to be cathartic for Eddie, but all it really did was leave her with the definitive answer for Tom about his suggestion of another baby. She could not have another baby with Tom, she didn't love him the way she loved Jamie, she never would. Yes, she pushed Jamie away but now…she new she couldn't go farther, this was her fate. Jamie had Camille now, she was nice to him and would win Max over, she was a teacher after all. She had forced Jamie's hand into this, she didn't have the right to be unhappy about it. She had to respect Jamie's wishes and his choices, she only hoped Tom would respect hers.

The rest of the night Eddie vowed to have fun, they did shots, they played darts, and had laughs. Kara was happy to see Eddie laughing and having some fun. She didn't know how productive the night really was.

It was bitter cold that January in New York, so much so that both Jamie and Eddie stayed close to their homes and offices. Eddie added hours back into her schedule since she was no longer teaching Max being busy did help her a little bit.

She hadn't seen Jamie since that ill fated day at her house, but she thought about him and about Max every single day. Eddie liked a particular market chain that was near the 12th. They had the best chicken soup, she went there to get some for her and April to enjoy by the fire on the 15 degree night.

As Eddie shopped the prepared food section, she caught a whiff of Jamie's cologne and heard Max's little laugh. Her heart wrenched, they were so close she could smell and hear them but couldn't go by them. The sound got closer, Eddie darted around the aisles to avoid Jamie.

Jamie caught a glimpse of her hair, he'd know that mane of golden locks anywhere. It was clear to any intelligent person, not just a seasoned cop, that she was deliberately avoiding them. Jamie sighed, it would have been nice to see her, but she was taking his wishes to heart.

Max handed Jamie a piece of his baby cookie, "Thank you buddy," he smiled and kissed Max's cheek. "Let's go get some chicken…"

Eddie hated having to hide and Jamie hated she was hiding. She had to respect his choice for his little boy, Eddie did not want that innocent child to ever hurt, not ever. She would gladly hurt in his place.

Jamie wanted to call out to Eddie, but Max was also his thought. Max still asked for Eddie and his lesson. He sat at the piano and waited, then would sigh and go off to play. Jamie couldn't get another teacher to help until he turned 2, Pop refused, he said it was Jamie's fault and his bed to lie in.

When Eddie got home to April that night she held the little girl a lot tighter. "Come on, sweetie pie, let's share some soup Mommy got with Anita." Anita was her nighttime companion now.

Jamie couldn't get the image of Eddie running from him and Max out of his head. She was supposed to run to him, he'd seen to it that was over. Jamie called Danny that night, it was time for him to speak to Eddie, to apologize to her. For her to even come, he needed the big guns, he needed his big brother.

Danny didn't have the first clue how to reunite his brother with Eddie. He was happy that he wanted to talk things out with her but now he had to get creative. Danny took off the afternoon two days after Jamie's request and drove to Manhasset when he knew Eddie was going to be at work. Anita smiled at Danny glad to see him there. "Anita, I need you to help me,' Danny said with no introduction. "My brother knows he blew it and he wants a chance to talk to Eddie when she can't kick him out or escape. I was hoping you had some knowledge, does she go for a massage, does she have a place she goes to sit and unwind before coming home?"

Anita thought and checked the family's book, "Ms. Eddie is getting a pedicure tomorrow at 4, it is right by where she worked before with Jamie. Ana's Salon…"

"I know exactly where that is!" Danny smiled. "Thanks so much, let's see if we can make them smile huh?" Danny gave Anita a big kiss on the cheek. "You're the best!"

Anita smiled and laughed, a sound she didn't hear much around the house anymore. Perhaps Danny would be able to help get her and Jamie talking, even little April missed him so much. She'd walk around and call "mew mew and Jamie…" then she'd sigh and sit to wait for nothing.

Danny this is not going to work," Linda sighed as she bounced up and down to keep warm outside Eddie's house. Danny's sources told him that Eddie headed in for her pedicure a short time ago. "She's going to bolt or tune him out, this isn't the way."

"I think it's the only way," Danny replied. "You know how to deal with this stuff, you're my back up, you always want to be my back up, now come on."

Danny and Linda walked into the salon smiling. Eddie was one of the only ones getting done at that time of the day so two of the girls smiled and lead both Danny and Linda to the tubs. "Oh, no, not me I…" Danny began to protest as his pedicurist removed his shoes and socks. He bit his lip to keep from laughing as she handled his very sensitive feet.

"Danny, I never would have guessed," Eddie laughed. "Nice to see you Linda. What brings you here for a pedicure?"

Linda shrugged, "I heard it was a good place and Danny sort of rode a wave in on this, he hates me to touch his feet."

Eddie laughed then sat down and leaned back in her chair, something was up but she didn't know what.

When Eddie's nails were painted a lovely shade of pink, she got out of the tub and waddled on her heels to the drying station. As soon as she sat down, she offered her card to pay her bill. "No,' the attendant told her. "Compliments of the gentleman in the back," she told her and indicated Jamie. Slowly he closed the gap between them.

She looked so beautiful he longed to run and hold her close to him. He loved the way her hair bounced when she just took it down from being at work. He smiled when he saw the cameo pin on her lapel, she was still keeping him close in that regard. Her rosewater teased his nostrils, and in a second she would see him…perhaps come to him freely.

"Hey," Eddie said looking down at her feet. She couldn't even look him in the eye she was still so hurt over what had happened between them.

"Hey," Jamie smiled. "Cold out huh?" Was this what they were reduced to, talking about the weather.?

"Yeah, I'm just…" Eddie looked up. "How did you know I'd come in here tonight?"

"SVU schedule, and my brother has his ways. Looks like he got caught up in the moment." Jamie nodded to Danny who was wiggling and almost kicking the pedicurist as he had his feet washed. "Sit down please, I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes. There's something I need to say."

"Something else?" Eddie asked. "I'm not letting you see Max anymore wasn't enough?"

"I was wrong to say it that way I did," Jamie replied. "I should have handled it another way and I didn't. I saw you at the store the other day, you ran from me, me…the person you always went to no matter what…"

"I had to respect your choice," Eddie sighed. "You don't want me to be around Max, he's too attached for me not to be a stable force in his life. And as much as it hurts, I understand about him. It's not good for him, you're his father and you have to think of him."

"For what it's worth, I'm so sorry," Jamie replied. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you like I did. I feel like a heel for even asking you this but after that night, I have to know…" Jamie took a breath and held Eddie's eyes, he reached for her hands, the skin as smooth as silk and caressed her softly. He almost got lost in the touch. They looked at each other, soul to soul as he asked, "Will you meet me in Montana?"

Eddie shut her eyes, could she handle Montana after losing the final connection, or was there one to still be developed and tuned going back to how things were. Eddie sighed, "Yes, yes I will meet you, at least this year. Right now, Jamie, you and I are both doing so much to damage the other one, I think we have to see year by year about that, but yes, this year, I will meet you beneath that beautiful sky…" Eddie was nearly in tears. She swallowed for control.

A giggle and a loud snore broke the tension. Jamie and Eddie both turned to see Danny sound asleep during the foot massage and Linda in near hysterics as her husband's first pedicure. "I never thought I would see this day. Do you want a cup of coffee after?" Linda asked Eddie seeing the younger woman more relaxed.

Eddie nodded, it would be nice to enjoy each other as friends.

A giggle and a loud snore broke the tension. Jamie and Eddie both turned to see Danny sound asleep during the foot massage and Linda in near hysterics as her husband's first pedicure. "I never thought I would see this day. Do you want a cup of coffee after?" Linda asked Eddie seeing the younger woman more relaxed.

Eddie nodded, it would be nice to enjoy each other as friends.

"You love it, admit it," Jamie laughed. "You were sawing wood! Eddie gave me a pedicure one time but ended up regretting that!"

"Did I ever,' Eddie laughed. "Your toenails are like talons and in bed they are like ice blocks, the you scratch me," Eddie was relaxed talking to Linda and Danny, she slipped back into her memories easily. "You have nice feet compared to Jamie."

Linda observed Jamie and Eddie, they had a simple body language, nothing force, nothing fake. She saw Jamie's breath catch when Eddie brushed his hand reaching for her cup, she saw Eddie's face lace with concern when Jamie swallowed wrong and coughed. It was instinctive for her to rub his back, she couldn't help it, she just did it, like breathing, like living.

Eddie was quiet, Linda remembered her at other events and she was so full of life. Not today, she was pensive and sad, much like Jamie. Jamie's heart was aching. What had he done when he ended Max's lessons? He's taken her child, he realized now she did love Max that way. It was a little bit of punishment, he felt, for Tom, for pushing him to Camille, but at least now Max didn't' cry his heart out and vomit three times a week. He'd made so many bad choices, beginning with Claudia…he wanted to erase it all, except there was so much good with the bad, so many happy memories.

Linda said something that made Eddie laugh, Jamie looked up to see her smiling, something else he missed. Her face lit for a few minutes and Eddie exposed the spot on her throat Jamie loved to suckle and kiss. The hollow, maybe he'd be granted access to that space again.

Jamie's phone rang and jolted him out of his musing. He looked down, it read Camille…Eddie saw the name and the girls smiling face. She pushed her seat back, "I should get ready to go to April, don't' want to miss her bed time."


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter Seventy Three

All three Reagans knew it was not April's bedtime that had Eddie running, it was Camille. That confused Jamie, why was she so jealous when she pushed him into her? He wouldn't figure that one out that day though, and he did have a date to keep. Still, Jamie sent the call to voicemail.

"How is April doing on her cards?" Jamie asked trying to delay the goodbye.

"She doesn't play with them much without you, how is Max doing on his music?"

"Pop is mad at me for what I did so he won't play with him and the other teachers won't take him until he's two. I try my best with him though, he's happy, he's…he's getting another molar so he's fussing."

"I would put brandy on his gums," Eddie confessed. "Screamed bloody murder for about a minute then happy boy. You uh…" Jamie's phone was ringing again. "Have someplace to be now so… by Linda nice to see you again, thanks for the laugh Danny. Jamie, I'll see you in Montana."Eddie dind't give Jamie and chance to reply.

As Danny went off to help Eddie, Linda cornered Jamie. "Camille is not worth that," she advised. "I saw you with her, I saw you with Eddie and even broken you are still way more together. The damage this is doing could be permanent, Jamie. She's already pulling away more than either of you ever thought. If you aren't careful, one of these Montanas will be the last."

Danny opened the car door for Eddie, "So, you're seriously still going to keep this up? He screwed up big time but you two have something really special. This Camille chick is not for him, but Eddie I'm telling you, one day he's going to meet someone that is just close enough that he can make it work. One of these Montana trips, that he's counting on that he held onto when that nightmare he married beat the crap out of him, is going to be it because one of you will pull the plug. Who, I don't know, but that is an idyllic situation that only happens in the movies. Chew on that."

"I want him to be happy, I just know it's not with me. Camille is a nice person, that might work for him. Tell him to be happy, okay?" Eddie sighed and pulled away as soon as Danny's hands were free of the doors.

Jamie stopped off home to change for his date with Camille, though he wasn't in the mood. Eddie's beauty, her scent, her step had been on his mind since he saw her waddling her cute little butt to the drying stating. Jamie grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, if he didn't get this out of his head things would not go well.

 _ **Dearest Eddie,**_

 _ **Our hands touched today, the first touch in a long time. When we were skin on skin, I could hardly breathe. You've always been able to do that to me, you've always been able to hold me in the palm of your hand. You still do. I miss you, I miss the way we made the earth move together, how no matter what was happening, we were deeply in love and knew in our souls we had each other. We don't know that now and that is terrifying.**_

 _ **I can still smell your perfume as I write this, your very first letter to me smelled of that perfume. I confess, I bought a bottle of it, and I will spray it when I miss you so much it hurts inside. Scent memory and all that, it's wonderful.**_

 _ **I miss the passion, we burned white hot and there is still such incredible heat. I love you so much and I can't stand this separation. I know I moved on, I can move back, I…We can't deny what we have and we should stop doing this, we have to stop hurting ourselves. There's no one that can turn me on like you do, and no one that I want to be with more than you. I haven't been with Camille…you are still my only love.**_

 _ **Yours,**_

 _ **Jamie**_

Jamie hid the letter and stood up, he was kidding himself. He was being ridiculous and it all had to stop now. There was nothing else for him to do but move on with Camille. He didn't want to break his vow to Eddie, but what was a one sided vow anyway. Jamie reached into his top drawer and pulled out the little box he'd been holding onto since things began to escalate beyond an innocent kiss with Camille. He might have use for those tonight, if he could get out of his way.

Jamie left a short time later to meet Camille, Linda's words echoed in his head. He had to choose and it had to be Camille, Eddie had made her choice. He wasn't it.

Camille brought Jamie a beer and sat down so their legs were touching. She could see how stressed he was and he had been an hour late for their dinner date. "Talk to me, Jamie. What's going on? You were late and…you didn't pick up at first."

"I was with Eddie," Jamie told Camille. "I had to see her and say how sorry I was about how I handled the Max situation. I broke her heart, she loved him like he was hers and I broke her heart."

"But he wasn't hers," Camille reminded him. "It's not like she gave birth to him and you two divorced, I could see it then, she was just your partner and friend, he was too attached. It was dangerous."

"She ran from me," Jamie sighed. "A few days ago I saw her in the store, I had Max with me and she ran, I had to apologize. I had to say I was sorry for how I hurt her, I know I made the right choice to protect Max, but hurting her was the wrong way to do it."

Camille sighed, frustrated he was still dwelling on Eddie. The last few times she saw him, Jamie had been more affectionate, he kissed her deeper and held her a bit tighter, tonight she was going to make a go of it with Jamie once and for all.

Camille moved the beer from Jamie's hand and stroked his cheek softly. "Don't worry anymore," Camille whispered. "Just be here in this moment…be here with me."

Jamie's arms slid around Camille's small body, he nuzzled her and kissed her cheeks and lips, trying to relax his body and let himself feel.

Jamie ran his hands under Camille's camisole, feeling her skin under his hands. It was soft and smelled of her perfume. She was smaller than Eddie in many ways. Jamie tried not to compare their bodies or his emotions but that was never a reality, especially not tonight.

Camille's hands undid Jamie's belt and pulled his shirt free of his pants, her hands roaming over his chest, their lips never breaking. Jamie's breathing grew faster and deeper, Camille's body was engaged and ready for his. This would be their first time. "Not here,' Camille whispered. "My room, in my bed."

Jamie stood up and lifted Camille into his arms, She hung around him like a hood ornament, kissing and touching. Jamie hoped the walk would help his body begin to respond but even lying over Camille's beautiful body did not do the trick for him. For him, love was mental and physical and neither was ready.

Try as he might, and in spite of Camille's effort, Jamie's body refused to cooperate with their intentions. Jamie dropped back on the couch in frustration. "I'm sorry, Camille, I don't…"

Camille sighed, "Jamie, I really thought this would get better the more we got to know one another, but it's not getting better, it's getting worse. You can't have me in your life and Eddie in your heart, you can't do it. You have to choose to let go of her forever, and I mean all the way, and you have to choose to embrace me. It's not fair to you, me or Max to keep this up, it's just not fair. So…You are going to leave my house, go home to your house and think on this. I don't want you to say anything now…"

Jamie stood up and tucked in his shirt, 'But I want to say something now. I tried, you know I did, but I am never going to feel for you what I feel for Eddie and you aren't going to feel for me what you will feel when you meet your soulmate. You only get one and Eddie's mine. I have to accept her terms and if that means I raise Max alone, that's what it has to mean. I'm so very sorry, I wish it turned out differently."

Jamie left quickly, he didn't want to see tears, he didn't want to hear a debate. This was the right choice, the sourness in his stomach was gone in an instant. He felt better and more in control than he had in months. He wasn't meant to move on from Eddie. He just flat out wasn't.

Henry and Frank were playing cards when Jamie got home much earlier than expected. Max was in his high chair with a few cheerios, clapping his hands and feet. "Hey, Buddy, you're up a little late huh?" Jamie took the baby from his seat and kissed his head. "He fussy?"

"He had some tummy problems from that tooth so we let him stay up a little bit and have some fiber," Henry replied. "You look like a ten pound weight was lifted off you, what gives?"

Jamie laughed, leave it to his Pop.

"Well, I apologized to Eddie for what I did with Max, esepcailly how I did it and where I did it, in front of Camille and Tom and all and she didn't say it was fine, she said she understood…"

"Of course she understands, she's a good mother!" Henry piped up immediately. "You had to act because of Max but not like a jerk!"

"Pop," Jamie sighed "I feel bad enough as it is but I took action Dad. I thought about what you said and it was clear as day to me the answer to that question was Eddie. So, I broke up with Camille. I'm going to be patient, see Eddie in Montana and stop doing damage to me and to Eddie. She's got Tom, that has to be fine."

Jamie took Max upstairs to put him to bed. He snuggled him for a few minutes and kissed his head, "You sleep good okay? Daddy loves you, maybe one day I can make Ms. Eddie see that we belong together but for now it's not so bad huh? You, me, and the two old men?"

Max cooed and started to close his eyes. Jamie smiled to himself, this was his bliss now, this was his life, his son and him, the two of them against the world…

Tom woke Eddie that night by sliding into her bed. They still maintained separate beds. "Tom…" Eddie sighed and turned to him. "It's late…I'm tired, I have to be up so early…"

Tom rubbed Eddie's back, "I was wondering if you gave any thought to what we talked about, to us giving April a little brother or sister."

Eddie bit her lip, "I uh, I think I'd like to wait until she's older, maybe two or three. This time, is so precious for us, all her firsts. And I haven't been in the mood for…you've been patient and understanding and I really appreciate that."

Tom stroked Eddie's arm, "Let's sleep then?" He hoped to keep her close by making her feel safe with him. She didn't' trust him, that must be it, perhaps he could win her trust back.

Eddie turned and let Tom hold her while she slept, it felt good to have that closeness with her husband but that was the only closeness she could allow herself to feel. Things would never be right again with her and Jamie, he was, at her urging moving on with Camillle. She had to take each Montana and make it last, year after year after year…

It was inevitable that Jamie and Eddie would see each other at work. They had the same friends and occasionally, their jobs would make it so their paths crossed. This was the case on a snowy February when Jamie and two of his rookies discovered a body on their patrol. The woman had been dumped after being strangled with a lace stocking.

He didn't know when he issued the order to call Special Victims that Eddie would be the detective to cross the tape with a rookie of her own. Jamie watched as she taught the younger cop with the same infinite patience she showed to Max and anyone that needed her expertise and guidance. "Just look at the body, listen to it," Eddie coached. "What's she telling you? What's her swan song?"

The younger detective, Jamie remembered him being promoted a few weeks ago, had come a long way under Eddie's tutelage. Jamie was in the men's room when he heard high heels clicking on the floor. He figured it was a booty call for one of the new guys and would just ride it out until they were done. He didn't want to embarrass anyone, but it turned out to be something entirely different.

"Hey, Cooper…you in here?" Jamie recognized Eddie's voice immediately. "It's about to start, you weren't in the line up."

Eddie could see the young cop's feet peaking out. "Open up, let me in…"

"I don't think I can do this Detective Janko, I know I picked SVU but what we found yesterday…"

"What we found yesterday was a terrible tragedy and yes, we get a lot of those in our line of work, but it's the people with the guts, like you and me and the rest of the team, that speak for those people."

"What if I can't, I got sick all night, I keep seeing her face…"

"That is normal too, when I first shot someone, and he was a bad, bad guy, I shook for a week,' Eddie confessed. "But my partner got me through it. That's my job now, to be your partner, to get you through it, and when I stumble and fall on a case and I will, you get me through it. I'm your TO but I'm also a fellow cop, okay?"

"You have more faith in me than I have in myself," Cooper admitted. "I just want to do well, this is…"

"You will do well, you used your heart and your head…and you use all the tools on your belt including a fabulous partner,' Eddie joked. "Now, wipe your face, take a breath, put on some deodorant and get out there, make me proud!"

Jamie brushed the tears out of his eyes. Eddie was incredible, she talked the young guy down in minutes and had him laughing. That's what made her an incredible partner, friend, and the most unbelievable mother he'd ever known. He kicked himself daily for depriving his son of that connection. It could have been worked on and maybe he could bring Eddie around again, maybe he could convince her…

"Sarge," Taylor called for the third time. "SVU needs our shoe prints and stuff to clear the scene."

Jamie nodded, "Go ahead I'll be right there."

Jamie kept watching as Eddie directed the entire dog and pony show, in control, cool and collected. That was the result of their years, of their time together, because of that connection, one they now tried to ignore, so many other cops were benefitting for their teaching. It was a good thing, but bittersweet not to celebrate a Cooper with Eddie over a beer. That's how she needed it now though, so that's what he would give until she needed something else.

 **A/N: Regular Wednesday and Saturday updates resume December 27** **th** **. Happy Holidays!**


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter Seventy Four

Jamie didn't happen on Eddie again for a few weeks. Eddie was resolved, she was going to make her marriage to Tom work and that was the end of that. It was pretty obvious to Jamie when he stopped by her precinct to catch a glimpse of her that she was, at least for the moment, Tom's main focus.

Jamie felt the nausea well up as he watched Tom tip Eddie's face to his and take her lips. Eddie stepped into his embrace, receiving a strong hug. "I love you," Tom told her. 'I'll be home tonight you'll be fine."

Eddie gave Tom another warm hug, "I hate the dentist," she laughed. "I'll see you later tonight."

Tom gave Eddie another kiss then headed out to his meeting leaving Eddie to face the drill. Jamie wanted to approach her and see what all the fuss was about, but as luck would have it, his phone rang and she darted out before she even laid eyes on him.

"Yeah, Pop, what 's up?" Jamie asked Henry. He could hear Max crying in the background, "He's been doing that all day, he's pulling on his ear and he's got a little temp. I don't know if you want to try to swing by home or…"

"I've got another few hours on this tour but yeah, I'll do my best to try to come by and check him if traffic isn't too bad. He gets those ear infections, try the cotton ball…"

Henry agreed to try the home remedy on the boy and Jamie sighed. Max wasn't sick a lot but when he got that way it was usually bad. He became moody and clingy. Jamie would likely have to put in for a few days off to take care of him.

There was no time to dwell on missing a "chance" meeting with Eddie this time. He had to finish tour and finish his paperwork so he could be a father to his son.

Jamie was exhausted when he got in from his tour. One of his newer officers, not quite a rookie, made a difficult arrest, so Jamie had to stay behind and help walk him through. Frank was walking Max when Jamie got home. The baby was flushed with a fever, chewing on his hands, and fussing over and over again for his Daddy.

Jamie put his bag down and went straight to his son. "Daddy's here angel baby," Jamie sighed and took him into his arms. "How high is the fever?"

"Not too bad, it's 99.8, I think it's the pain that's got him. I looked, and he's got a molar coming in, he's had a couple bad diapers, and now the ear. I called and Dr. Ellis will see him tomorrow at 1130. I can ask Baker to bring him if you can't get off," Frank offered trying to help the single father all he could.

"Thanks, but I work the swing so I think I have time to take him," Jamie replied. "Yes, Daddy will take you, get you all better." Jamie sat in the big recliner to rock Max. "You know this is when I miss him having a mother," Jamie confessed. "Not to take the job off of me, I have no problem doing that but to do this part, I remember when I was little and sick like this, Mom rocking me and it felt so much better just because she was there with me. I cheated my boy out of that Dad, twice over."

"You know what you have to do, Jamie, and I trust you. You'll do it, you'll find a way to make it right with Eddie one day."

"No, she's working on her marriage, like she should be. We are fleeting affairs now in Montana once a year if she continues it, I know we have this year, I'll make the best of that for sure, maybe turn things around, but I want her to be happy, she wasn't."

"She isn't," Frank replied and left Jamie to tend to Max. The boy was dozing off in Jamie's arms, cooing the little song he loved to hear. Jamie carried Max to his bed and turned on his musical bear. "That's my good boy, you go to sleep for Daddy and tomorrow we'll make it all better."

Jamie got out his old sleeping bag and pillow and stretched out on the floor next to Max. He wanted to be only inches from his little son if the boy cried and needed him. He would do that when Claudia was on a rampage and he considered her a threat, now the threat was a nasty ear infection with poor timing, but it was a threat nonetheless. Jamie was ready to keep his boy safe, even if that meant not giving him a mother.

"Looks like a simple inner ear infection, going to give him antibiotics just to be sure," the doctor advised. "Rest, plenty of fluids and if he's not better by Friday give me a call " Jamie took fussy Max out and headed home with him. The baby was crying and holding onto his father.

He called out of work and planned to spend the day with Max. The baby slept mostly refusing to take his sippy cup. Jamie made a bottle for him. He felt some extra worry.

Jamie fell asleep in the sofa with Max in his portable crib. The baby had no desires and he fussed when he drank. Nothing Jamie did seemed to help the boy to feel better.

"He's not feeling any better?" Frank asked as Jamie ran a cool tub.

"We need to give the medication a chance, let's let him soak then sleep."

Max cried his eyes out when Jamie out him in the cool bath. "I know," Jamie soothed. "I know." All this while Jamie fought the urge to call Eddie. This was an emergency, wasn't it?

Jamie fell asleep after Max did, setting his alarm to check on the boy. When he did the fear gripped him hard in the chest, his baby boy was burning up.

Jamie lifted the eerily still, feverish baby. "Dad! Dad! Get up, Dad!"

Frank hit the floor and almost fell down the steps. Jamie never yelled for him like that. "What's wrong son?"

Before Jamie could answer Max moaned and began convulsing in Jamie's arms. Frank took his temp as Jamie dialed 911. "It's 105," Frank gasped and ran with little boy to wet him down.

The ambulance came quickly to take the still seizing child to the ER.

When they arrived, Max was torn from his father, was that the pain Eddie felt? If it was, no wonder she didn't forgive him that trespass.

Jamie couldn't hear Max crying; the absence of the sound was terrifying. Jamie pulled out his phone and text Eddie's number. It simply said, "Eddie, Max is in the hospital, please come."

Eddie and Tom had just finished a tense and excellent game of chess. "Check mate," Tom declared for the third time in a row. "You rush, Eddie," Tom advised. "You rush and then you end up with a pawn chasing three Queens around the board. Slow down."

"Maybe I just don't like to play chess," Eddie suggested. "That could be a possibility no?"

"Could be but…" Eddie's phone went off as Tom was closing the gap between them to steal a kiss. Eddie was open with her kisses and her hugs and he liked to reap the benefits of that for certain.

Eddie picked up the phone, it was the text tone she never thought she would hear at least until April. The tone she didn't want to hear, she knew what it might mean. The last thing she thought she would see in the box were the words, "Max is in the hospital." Eddie gasped.

"What's wrong?" Tom could tell whatever was on the phone upset Eddie a lot.

"That was Jamie," Eddie told Tom getting up and beginning to gather her things. "It's Max, little Max is in the hospital and he just asked me to come there."

"Eddie, really?" Tom asked. "Honestly, that man stood in this house, yanked the boy out of your arms and basically forbade you to see him again and you are going to go running there at 11 at night because he text you and asked you to?"

"Yes," Eddie said in a heartbeat. "Tom, a lot of the stuff with me and Jamie you are infinitely understanding, you are more understanding than most husbands would be, I do expect you to understand that this poor little baby has no mother figure, okay? He needs that kind of love when he is sick and like it or not, you weren't here when I was shot and recovering, Max and Jamie were and I bonded with that baby. I'm sorry if you are angry."

Truth be told, Eddie wanted Tom to be angry, it would be easier if he was. Tom only sighed, "I just don't like that he hurt you, Eddie. But you are right, Max is innocent in all of this. Let me know if he needs special doctors, medications, anything, it's theirs."

Eddie gave Tom a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, please give April some play time if I'm not back by morning. I hope I won't be long."

Tom agreed, and Eddie headed out for the hospital, her stomach in knots. She had no idea what she would find when she arrived.


	75. Chapter 75

Chapter Seventy Five

Jamie's phone beeped as he sat in the pediatric wing of the hospital looking at his small little boy in a very large rollable crib. Max's fever was still over 104, he was under cooling blankets with an IV running into his small arm. His cheeks were pink in the center, showing his fever, but the rest of his skin, usually soft and supple, was dry, pale, and drawn.

"I'm here," the text read. "Where to?"

Jamie sent Eddie Max's room number then stood up to wait for her. He knew he had no right to call her, but Max might benefit from her loving touch, and who was he kidding, he might as well. They said emergencies, it didn't get more emergent than this.

Jamie's heart beat in his ears as he waited. Max was so still, the seizure wiping what was left of the strength in his poor little body. He only made tiny little moaning sounds as the air he breathed hurt his ears and this throat. The ER physician diagnosed him with an advanced case of strep. It would gut Eddie to see him this way, and Jamie wasn't sure of his own strength.

Eddie appeared a few minutes later, "How is he? What happened?" she asked pausing to give Jamie a short but supportive hug. There was no time to think of deeper things, to think and relish in how the hug felt, Max was the priority now.

"He's got a bad case of strep, on top of getting a tooth, and having an ear infection. His fever spiked up to 105, he had two seizures, one at home and one in the ambulance…He…"

"It's okay, calm down, he's okay right now," Eddie soothed. Gently Eddie took Jamie's hands in her own and squeezed. They would do that on the job all the time for each other when the going got tough for one of them, the other stepped in and provide the strength. That was her job for Jamie now, there wasn't much room for her own emotions. "He's okay right now, he's there in the crib. Can I take him out?"

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, he has to stay wrapped up in that cooling thing and the IV, but they put a rocker over there. I knew you would want to hold him."

Eddie removed Max from his bed, "Thanks, Jamie. Thanks for calling me to come. I need to be here as much as he needs me to be. Come here baby boy," Eddie cooed. "Come here…it's okay…It's Mommom…" Eddie used Max's name for her, the one he copied from April, the one he used to cry out to her.

Eddie sat in the rocker with the sleeping baby and began to slowly rock him. There was no medication in the world better than a mother's love. Jamie just sat and watched her. Eddie's hair was hanging down brushing Max's cheek. If he were awake, he'd hold onto to it and nibble it a bit, now he was nearly lifeless in Eddie's arms, but still he looked totally at home. "What have I done?" Jamie asked again seeing this incredible bond between mother and son. There was no skirting around that, even if he and Eddie only had a week in Montana, Max deserved a relationship with her pure and simple.

Eddie's voice was gentle as she sang to Max. She sang the Serbian lullaby that he loved so much, though she wasn't sure if he heard her or not. "He's so hot, Jamie,' Eddie sighed when she was done. "What are they saying?"

"That the next day or two…they're critical, a lot has to do with his fever," Jamie sighed. "If it breaks soon, he'll be okay. If it doesn't…he might have brain damage, hearing loss…My baby boy, so much promise and talent, and he might lose his hearing. How in the world is that fair?"

"It's not," Eddie replied. "And it's not going to happen either. Help me?" It was time now for Eddie to dig in and take charge. She wanted to just cuddle the baby and Jamie as well but there was work to be done now, when the crisis was under control at the very least, then she could focus on rewiring the connection she and Jamie always shared.

"What are you going to do?" Jamie asked watching Eddie place Max back into the crib.

"You'll see, do you trust me?" Eddie asked.

Jamie nodded, "With his life, partner."

"Get some vinegar from the cafeteria and we'll dip his feet in that. It's an old family remedy I used on April, she was so sick, but I did this and she got a lot of relief."

Jamie nodded and began to get the things Eddie asked for, leaving Max in her capable hands. "You'll be okay, Maxy. You didn't have to get sick for me to come, you know. I would have come when Daddy stopped being stubborn. It's okay now, it's all okay now. You hear me little guy? You keep fighting this, I'm here, Eddie is here and I love you so much."

Tears fell from her eyes as she began fever baths on him. The hospital had ice packs under his arms, on his neck, and a rag on his head but Eddie knew the touch as much as the cold was healing. She kept a cold rag ready and wiped it over and over again across Max's body. Max cried and kicked and fussed with his minimal strength as the cold water shocked his little body. "I know," Eddie cooed. "I know, ssh, hush now…"

Jamie returned with the vinegar, but stopped in the door way to observe Max and Eddie. It was magic, seeing the two of them together was nothing short of magic. Eddie's love was tender and true, and when the crisis was passed…things would be different. He wouldn't keep letting the ones he loved the most suffer.

"Here's the vinegar," Jamie finally said as he entered the room again.

Eddie smiled and wet the facecloth again, then swabbed Max's tiny feet before wrapping them in the cloth. "Here you go, little guy, I bet that feels all better huh?"

Max shifted a little bit and sighed a bit, sleeping with a little bit more ease. "Now, for you," Eddie sighed. "Sit down, feet up and relax, you are not good to him so worked up." Jamie was so tense, he held his body tight when he got scared and he was tighter than a drum now. Eddie ached to hold him and let her guard down. She closed the gap and slid her arms around Jamie's middle, "He's a baby, babies get high fevers and it's scary, I'm scared to death if April pinches her fingers, but they need us to set the tone, they need us to make them feel safe. That's why Max and I got along so well, he knew he was safe."

"He's got good taste," Jamie smiled, his arms coming to hold Eddie to him, even if just for a second. "Since you were a rookie I knew I was safe with you. When the chips were down…."

Eddie took a breath, and looked into Jamie's eyes. It would be so easy to make up now, with Max so sick it would be the perfect reason, but it wouldn't be right. The things that tore them apart wouldn't be fixed, it wasn't fair to any of them especially Max and April to make up in the heat of fear. If they did it, it had to be because things were worked out and back on track again. "Jamie, let's focus on Max and his needs, that's how we got to this place that is so joyful for all of us, doing what is bests for this little boy."

Jamie sighed, Eddie was right. Now was not the time for them, now was time for their Max, Jamie stroked his son's hair and said a prayer for him to heal. Eddie continued to nurse him through the night. When the sun came up, Max's fever had still not come down.


	76. Chapter 76

Chapter Seventy Six

"I've got to run home for a little bit," Eddie told Jamie after the doctor came to adjust Max's medication. It was the last thing she wanted to do, Jamie was exhausted, and Max was not out of the woods, but it was a good time right now. "He's out now, peaceful for a bit and I didn't make arrangements with Anita yet for April, but I will do that, so I don't have to go for a long period again until he's well. Try to get a little rest too while I'm gone okay. I promise I won't be long."

"You have to check on April," Jamie smiled. "Thanks for coming so fast. Did Tom?"

"Tom says that if he needs anything, and if he's not better in a day or so, or at least having his fever down…" Eddie stroked the baby's head. "That we would bring in top people for him, so just say the word."

Jamie nodded, "Be safe I'll see you later." He turned his attention back to Max.

Linda appeared a few minutes later to check on Jamie and the baby. "Did I just see Eddie leave?"

Jamie nodded, "Yes, she came when I texted her he was here. She's been trying some home remedies to drop his temp, nothing is working, Linda, nothing."

"It takes some time with an infection this bad," Linda replied looking at the baby. "He'll need a couple of days, he needs more time. Jack got really sick like this about his age, he's fine, Max will be fine."

Jamie sighed, "Jack had you."

"Max has you," Linda smiled. "You are an incredible Daddy to this baby boy. He loves you and he knows you love him. You must rest too though. Let me get you something to eat. You want some coffee?"

Jamie smiled, "Thanks, Linda. I could eat yeah, I just don't want to leave him. He hasn't had another seizure but if he did and I wasn't here."

"Those likely stopped. It was nice to see Eddie here for support," Linda comforted.

"Jamie, you are very lucky to have a best friend that way. I'll be back soon."

"Yes," Jamie nodded. "I am."

Eddie took a shower before touching April. When she was cleaned up she took the baby girl into her arms and sat down with Anita. "How is little Max?" Anita asked.

"He's the same, his fever is still 104, he's not really conscious which is probably a blessing cause his little neck is all swollen up…I had to wash before I touched her, she's much smaller than he is."

"Yes, but girls tend to have a little more grit," Anita replied. "Like her Momma, she's a good little solider. Mr. Tom tried today to play her cards with her, she had him on the run."

"She's too smart for her own good,' Eddie smiled cuddling April close. "Do you want to make a picture for Mommy to take to your friend Max? Color?"

Eddie handed April the big baby crayons for her to play with, she held the object accurately for a one year old and made a bunch of colorful scribbles on the paper.

"It's hard," Eddie said after a while, breaking the silence. "It's so hard being in that room and seeing Jamie. Max needs me though, he needs me so much. I want to just pretend nothing even happened, that it's all like it was before he started seeing Camille, but I can't. I can't let go of the hurt yet."

"You have to," Anita replied. "True love trumps all things, especially now. You can talk it out, you can be upset with him about it later, but for now you must be there for him and for Max. It's strep, but he'll recover. In a couple of days, you can choose to fight for your position, or throw in the towel and cuts your losses,' Anita advised. 'Now, you let your heart lead you, not the head…"

Eddie accepted the good advice, a wall would do nothing but hurt Jamie and hurt Max. That was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. "I'm going to need to be with them while he's so sick, but April…"

"Don't you worry, I will speak to Mr. Tom about the hotel suite in the city and you can be close to both of the little ones that need you," Anita comforted. "Now, you are going to eat a good lunch, you need your strength, both those men are counting on you."

A few hours later, with soup and sandwiches in tow for Jamie, Eddie returned to the hospital. She was not prepared for what greeted her when she came into the room

Jamie was pacing outside Max's room when Eddie came back. Frank was pacing in the opposite direction, Henry had his head bent. "What happened?"

Jamie couldn't even answer her; his heart was pounding so fast. "He had another seizure and stopped…"

"His fever spiked," Frank replied. "He seized again, and the infection is all over his system, his legs are swelling, his throat and his face."

Eddie pulled out her phone and texted Tom, "I need to make a private room for Max and need a pediatric infectious disease specialist at St. Victor's now. I'm debiting as much as I need, Max is much worse."

Eddie put her hand on Jamie's back, "It's going to be okay. I'm getting a specialist, we'll get him a better room where he's got quiet, it's going to be okay."

Jamie wanted to believe that, to trust that, but the fear was just too much. "When can we hold him again? We need to keep him in his blanket and hold him and let him feel us. That's what we need to do." Eddie was convinced that love was enough, hers and Jamie's love for Max would help him heal. The thought of her precious little guy not making it, struggling so, gutted her but Jamie was in worse shape, she had to push down the pain and fear and be there for him.

"They should be done with him in a minute then we can hold him," Jamie replied. There were tears in his, it was thick with so much emotion. Eddie longed for the day when she could wrap him in her arms and rock him to make it right.

Eddie held Jamie tight, massaging his back, stroking his hair and keeping his entire body enveloped in her love and safety. Frank paced and watched the doctors with Max. A half hour later they were allowed back. Max now had two IVs and a central line for his labs. Her baby boy looked like he was at death's door, or close to it, that hit Eddie for a second before she got a hold of herself. Only Jamie realized the impact, she did so well at covering it.

Eddie stepped closer to the crib and pulled the side of it down. "Come here, Maxy,' Eddie cooed to the unconscious boy. "Come, let's sit in the big chair huh? Let's sit on Eddie's lap…"

Jamie watched her, Max didn't' know she was there but he instinctively curled into her side and laid his cheek by her breast. The sight made Jamie choke up again, there was such a love. "Sit with us,' Eddie said softly. "There's a car chair, sit with us while we wait for the new doctor to come." She wanted him close, needed him close.

Jamie smiled, "Eddie, is Tom okay with…"

"Tom is fine,' Eddie assured him. "For a sick baby, he's fine. We'll pay anything to get him well, I've said it before, Max is priceless, there's nothing I won't do for him." Or for you, Eddie said to herself. "That is very generous," Jamie replied stroking Max's foot, it was hard to make it out the joints were so swollen.

"It' s nothing," Eddie replied as she rocked. To them, it really wasn't.

Dr. Baker arrived at the hospital just before dinner time to examine Max. Eddie had nodded off holding the baby, Jamie was watching them from the window seat across the room. Eddie was always such a beauty but with Max by her heart and the sun glinting in as it set. "Mr. Reagan, I'm Dr. Baker, I'm here to see Max."

Eddie heard the doctor's voice and woke up. "Doctor, thank you so much for coming down. This is Jamie and this poor little guy is Max."

The doctor took one look and sighed, "He's got a bad case of strep, systemic infection…but not to worry. We'll get him fixed up in no time at all."

The doctor took Max and began his exam, Jamie and Eddie nervously stood back off to the side. His arm went around her shoulders, her arm around his waist on instinct alone, neither one realized they were doing it. Eddie turned and buried her face in Jamie's chest when the doctor maneuvered Max's little legs. The baby cried out. Jamie and Eddie's arms clamped down on each other, each one wishing to protect the other from the pain of seeing Max this way.

Jamie's body was shaking, Eddie wanted to cry but he needed her calm and focused. "Come sit..." Eddie took Jamie and stood blocking him from being able to see the doctor work. Eddie reached out, not caring if the doctor spoke to Tom about it or if anyone gossiped. She pulled Jamie, so his head was resting on her breast, the same place where Max had slept a short time ago. Eddie's gentle hands ran up Jamie's back. "This is the best doctor there is for this, I trust him. I know you are scared but I'm here, and I'm not leaving again, okay? I'll figure out things with Anita for April, I am here until our baby boy is well and singing his heart out. Okay?"

Jamie nodded, it was all he could do, he was terrified. "I know you're scared too, I..."

"I am concerned, not scared, Scared is when you can't do anything about what is happened, you taught me that. Remember that now, and if you can't...I'll remind you. Hold tight to me, use my strength...It's here for you, like yours always was for me." Eddie placed a soft kiss on Jamie's head as the doctor continued to work.

Henry and Frank peered through the door like two little old ladies watching not only the doctor but Jamie and Eddie. "You tell me not to interfere, but look…" Henry pointed. "Like his parents should do."

"Yes, but they must do it their way or no way, Pop," Frank advised. "It won't stick this time if we push, I think they were pushed by Claudia before they were done forgiving each other. Look where that got them now…focus on Max."

Dr. Baker stepped back after his physical exam, "I'd like to run a few tests, a needle aspiration of the fluid in his legs could be key to coming up with a cocktail that will get this thing. I won't lie to you, he's a very sick little boy, there's a chance he won't survive this, and a chance that if he does the fever might have caused brain damage."

Eddie tightened her grip on Jamie, as he did for her. "What about his hearing?" Eddie asked. "He's a musical little guy, plays piano already, sings like an angel…"

"We'll test that too, but for now, I'll order the tests and we'll see how we can help him," Dr. Baker replied. "He has one very important thing though, a lot of love."

Jamie nodded, "That he does. When do you take him?"

"I'll do the test here, I'll call for a local so that we don't cause him to be in too much pain. He's already got plenty of that, those meds are working well, he's peaceful, his heart is strong. The next couple of days will tell the story."

Jamie shook the doctor's hand and sat back with Eddie as Dr. Baker and other medical staff began to work on helping their little boy.


	77. Chapter 77

Chapter Seventy Seven

It was worse than they thought. Max's levels were poor and his tiny little body already over worked from fighting the ear infection. Jamie broke into tears; his little boy could be dying and there wasn't a thing he could do. Eddie arranged to have Max moved to the Columbia Presbyterian children's hospital where Dr. Baker and his staff would tend to the baby. Eddie rode in the ambulance with Jamie, holding his hand in hers.

"Do you have to leave for April?" Jamie asked not wanting her to go but not wanting the baby to be deprived of her mother.

"No, Anita is going to bring her to a hotel across the street and keep her there, so I can be with her and not be too far off from you and Max. April is fine, Max isn't, and I love him Jamie, you know that."

Jamie knew that, he swallowed and began to speak softly. "Eddie…I…"

"Not now, not here, Max is first now," Eddie said firmly as a rough bump caused the baby boy to moan. "Ssh..." Eddie rubbed his hair. "Hush my Max... I know it hurts, baby. I know, we'll fix it. You hear me? We'll fix you up again my sweet angel."

The team at Columbia took Max straight into his private suite. "Hello, Max," a sweet nurse greeted him, she didn't talk around him. "Not to worry, you will be all better soon. I'm Nurse Diane bland I'll be with you and so will Mommy and Daddy."

Diane got Max situated in his crib then stepped out. His monitors showed a low blood pressure and slow heart rate. Eddie touched his tiny hand. A few tears dropped down Eddie's face as she watched the baby sleep.

"Take him out of there Jamie," Eddie asked. " He needs us to hold him to snuggle him." Jamie nodded and laid Max in Eddie's's arms.

Eddie rocked the baby and Jamie sat by them and prayed. "I can't lose my little boy, we all went through so much for him. We are. We didn't start a life for his sake, you got rid of Claudia for his sake, April was kidnapped and could have been killed for his sake. He is too special to die now!"

Eddie shifted and rubbed Jamie's head, "Rest your head on my leg, try to rest. I'm here and I've got this. Rest now."

Jamie managed a fitful sleep. Eddie didn't close her eyes she rocked the baby back and forth. A few hours later, Diane poked her head in. " Oh I see, he's got his mommy. His vitals are better, stronger the last few hours."

Eddie smiled, "Keep fighting Maxy. Mommom is here. Mommom will make it all right."

Eddie kept one hand under Max and one on Jamie's hair. She worried for them both, she worried for herself after this, could she make the break again?

"Here we go," Diane brought in a tray of food for Jamie and Eddie. "He's holding his own, now you have to."

Eddie nodded, "I'm too sick to eat, seeing him like this. Will his legs go back to normal?"

"As the infection clears he will go back yes," Diane assured. " But damage to the joints, heart, brain is all a factor." That did it, Eddie broke down.

Jamie woke to the sound of her tears. He moved closer and took her in his arms gently beginning to rock. "I know, I know honey. I know"

Jamie kissed her hair, "Let's eat a bit then let's hold our boy and let him feel our love."

Eddie shook in Jamie's arms, "He's…He's so…" She could hardly get the words out of her mouth. Max's body looked distorted, the poor little baby. "What did he do to deserve this Jamie? What did that baby boy do to get…"?

"Nothing," Jamie said firmly. "He did nothing, it just happened, Eddie. It just happened and now we have to get him through this, you and me together."

Jamie's voice was firm and his resolve steady. Eddie had been his rock the last 24 hours and it was his turn for her. "Try to eat a little bit."

Eddie sniffled, "It's almost time to change him We both need to do it so…"

"I'll change him" Diane offered. "It's my job anyway, you two eat, then hold your baby boy. He responds to your touch."

Eddie picked at her food, forcing down a piece of toast and an orange before standing up and taking Max out of his bed. "Jamie, can you help me with his IV please?"

Jamie pushed the poll, he saw what Eddie planned to do. Eddie sat on the cushioned window seat with Max in her arms. "There are birds outside, Max. It's cold, there's going to be some snow I think too…you need to get better, so we can make a snowman…Eddie kissed the baby's hair.

Jamie joined Eddie on the window seat, he slid his arms around her. He needed to hold her, and she needed to be held. Getting Max through this was going to take their partnership, the thing that had sustained them since day one.

"You know what all this is making me think of?" Jamie asked as he held Eddie and his son in his arms. Eddie was rubbing Max's legs gently, trying to move the fluid through his system and get him feeling better. Her touch wasn't as therapeutic as she would like it to be, but it was soothing to the baby to have so much skin on skin contact.

"What?" Eddie asked as she focused on Max's soft skin.

"Our first day on the job together," Jamie replied. "We really learned about being partners that day, five minutes on the job and there we are at a 10-13, blood all over and there you are, calm and collected, not scared, not shaken, just making sure everyone else is okay. You had to be terrified, I was terrified…"

"I was," Eddie admitted. "I was scared to death but if I showed that you know? I didn't know how lucky I was yet for you to be my partner. When it was over, you took me for our first beers but that was obligation I think. It wasn't until you got suspended for helping that little boy in the car wreck, and I proved myself that you could trust me to back you up. You called me partner for the first time…"

Jamie laid his head on the back of Eddie's neck, "And you have been ever since. This thing with us, it's me," Jamie sighed. "Not you. I made mistake after mistake, Claudia was first and that took us down this crazy road to begin with."

"Don't apologize for that too much," Eddie sighed shifting Max. "No Claudia, no Max…" She kissed the top of his head and waited to see about his fever dropping. "Still as high as ever…"

"I'd not trade Maxy for the world, but he might still be here, you know if we…"

Eddie nodded, "I know, but we didn't so…We got so lost, Jamie. How did we get so lost?"

Jamie took a deep breath, "I took you for granted, I think that was the big catalyst for this. We got comfortable, kind of like in our partnership and didn't take care of the relationship. I know that was my problem. The last time we made love, I didn't' give you the tenderness and attention I should have, that I did in the past and you felt that. It hurt you…then the Spencer thing, drinking to excess like a kid. We lost our connection, and we need to get it back. I need it back, Eddie."

Eddie was about to mention Camille in his life when Max opened his eyes and wailed a little bit. "Oh, Jamie…" Eddie smiled at the little boy. "Jamie, look…" Just as quickly as Max's eyes opened, then shut again. The little boy twitched and gave a sigh, burrowing closer to Eddie's chest unconsciously

"It's a start," Jamie smiled. "It's a start."

Eddie had turned her head to meet Jamie's eyes, the look of joy that flashed across her face when Max looked at her for a fleeting second, it lit her features, making her look beautiful to Jamie. Jamie reached out and cupped her cheek, Eddie didn't resist him, this was a small moment to celebrate.

The feel of Jamie's lips on hers was as electric as it always was. Eddie sighed into his mouth, their foreheads touching. Jamie moved to deepen the kiss, but Eddie ducked her head "Let's not move too fast," she advised. "Let's find that connection again before we do damage worse than this. It wasn't just you, either. I didn't speak up, I let it get that far. We have to find a way to get our hope back, our trust…"

"We will," Jamie replied. "I know we will, there's nothing the two of us can't do."

Eddie wanted to believe that with all her heart but there were a few things that she hadn't let go, Anita's advice was good, but easier to say than to do. Eddie stood up with Max and laid him back in his crib, so she could focus on Jamie. She moved to hold his hands, "That's true but we have so much to talk about."

Jamie took a breath, "Let me just…What I did with Max, that was so wrong. The other day when I got him hear, the doctors took him from my arms, they pulled him out of my arms and that feeling was indescribable. All I could think of once he was being treated was that was how I made you feel and I am so sorry for doing that. Max needs you, I need you to be in his life."

Eddie felt the pain of that moment all over again, she could hear Max's screams in her dreams. "You had to protect Max from that upset, you did the right thing. Let's get him back, we can talk about those things later. Let's get him back to us, let's use the time to talk and reconnect as friends. Let the future be the future, and let now be now. Can we do that?"

Eddie held Jamie's eyes, her own gaze very soft and gentle, she wasn't angry, she was open to healing, just at a much slower pace. They both got hurt, they each inflicted harm on the other, they had to take it slow

"We can do that,' Jamie replied and gave her a soft peck. "We seal most of our great pacts with a kiss so…"

Eddie lightly laughed.

Jamie and Eddie slept at the hospital, Eddie would go across the street every few hours to check on April. She missed her daughter and April missed her mother badly. She was starting to cry and fuss when it was time for Eddie to leave. It ripped at Eddie's heart, April was her baby too and she was getting the short end for sure.

"Mommy's missing you too," Eddie sighed. "And I know you don't understand, baby Max is sick..."

April's brow arched, "Mac? Jamie Mac?" She loved her little friend a lot.

"Yes, Jamie's Max," Eddie snuggled. "Yes, we 'll all go play soon, okay? We will." Eddie kissed her baby's head. "Mommy's got to go, you ate so well, all your yummies are gone."

April wiggled off he mother's lap and toddled for her cards. She brought them to her mother, "You want to play now? We'll play a few minutes, okay?"

"K,' April replied and settled down to play.

This continued for the next few days, breakfast in the window seat while Eddie massaged the baby's legs. There were signs of the swelling going down, but Max spent 23 or 24 hours unconscious. Jamie ad Eddie ate lunch by his bedside each day and picked a memory to discuss.

"No that was so not the funniest thing we did!" Eddie argued picking up her chicken sandwich. "The funniest thing we did was the smart car. That was ridiculous!"

"It was,' Jamie laughed. "You weren't laughing that day. You were so pissed."

"I was…but you used to love me pissed," Eddie smiled.

"Not the only way I love," Jamie replied and stabbed a piece of her tomato with his fork.

The fifth day was the worst day. Jamie left for a short while to get a real shower and change while Eddie was taking care of Max. The fever went back up and Max's breathing slowed. Eddie didn't want to call Jamie, she didn't want to scare him. She laid Max in her arms, held him and sang.

Diane came in, "I thought you were holding him, his breathing is a little better. It's still agonal, but it's steadier. Where's your husband?"

"Oh…" Eddie smiled. "He's not my husband, we were work partners and friends. Max is his son with his ex and I'm actually married but you can't break up a friendship like this, a partnership, God knows we tried."

Diane sighed, "Can I sit with you? I'm on break."

"Sure," Eddie replied moving the ice pack on Max's neck to his feet. "He likes it better there."

"You know why I thought you were married, aside from the obvious connection you share with this little boy," Diane remarked. "The connection you have with each other. It's written all over both your faces. You..."

Eddie smiled, "We are very close, but we have had some troubles and I just don't' know if we will get back to where…"

"Don't waste time," Diane advised. "It is way too short. My husband, we wasted time, a lot of time. We danced around each other, we dated each other, we broke up with each other, all the stuff that people do, you know? Then he got sick, pancreatic cancer. We married a few days after he was diagnosed, we were done wasting time. He told me, the day he proposed, he said I want you to be my wife, I don't want to die without ever being your husband. That was all I needed to hear."

"That's beautiful," Eddie smiled. 'Really beautiful, and he made it?"

"No," Diane shook her head. "He lived two years, most of it good. We traveled, we stayed in bed all day and shut out the world, we did all those things you say you will do and never get around to. He died in my arms, in our apartment in Brooklyn, we both felt such a peace. We were lucky we could spend all that time. Most people can't do it. So, the message of the day, life is short, don't let whatever it is stop your connection."

Eddie's eyes filled with tears. She couldn't imagine Jamie dying, all their years on the job and she didn't let her mind go to that place, to that scary place. Diane's words had an impact on her, that was for sure.

"Thank you for sharing that with me," Eddie replied. "We are trying, Max's illness, it hurts to see him suffer…"

"He's not suffering,' Diane replied, 'He is doing a lot of healing and his body is still very depleted but he's not suffering, we have him well medicated for the pain he'd feel."

That warmed Eddie's heart to heart her baby boy was not in pain. "Thanks for that too. Actually the fact that he got sick broke down some of the walls we built up." Eddie moved Max to kiss his little cheek. "I love you, sweetie boy…"

Diane smiled, "Keep your heart open and your mind. Don't waste time." She got up and adjusted Max's meds then stepped out of the room leaving Eddie a lot to think about.


	78. Chapter 78

Chapter Seventy Eight

Talking with Jamie and Diane over the five days Max had been in the hospital provided Eddie with some new hope. Eddie left one morning while Jamie was still sleeping. She blew out her hair, and put on some make-up. She had hope that after their talk they might be able to resurrect their friendship and their love.

It was nearly lunch time before Eddie got to the hospital. Jamie smiled at her when she was a vision, always. "Hey," Jamie reached out to hug her and Eddie gladly accepted it. She sighed in his arms happy and content. "Sorry, I was gone so long. How is he?"

Jamie took in the sight; did she dress up for him? It has been a while since Eddie had taken care like this with herself for his benefit. Perhaps they were turning a corner. "Better," Jamie smiled. "He's sleeping peacefully."

"I'm glad, I hated this but I'm glad he's coming around." Eddie sat down and showed a little bit of leg. It was hard for Jamie to see her so pretty and not touch her. "Did you eat?" He asked. "I ordered steak sandwiches and potatoes from the deli."

"I can eat," Eddie smiled. "What was the thing I did on the job when we rode together you were proudest of?"

Jamie answers in a second, "Morgan. You tried to help her, and you got hurt doing it."

"She was troubled, and she needed a friend, we all get there don't we?"

"We do that's why I do want to say thank you for this, for all the time..."

"Stop, we are working on our friendship and that is what friends and partners do. You slept at my house for three days after my first shoot, we have so much history."

"And we need a future too, Eddie. We need our closeness back. I miss you."

Eddie stepped closer to Jamie and he pulled her into his chest. Slowly, Jamie dropped his head and gently took her lips. It felt so good, so new, yet so familiar to him.

Eddie sighed into his mouth relishing in the feel of his lips on hers once again. It had been too long, it had been far too long for a love that had burned as hot and bright as theirs.

Eddie pulled back and met Jamie's eyes. Before she could speak, Max fussed in his bed moving all his limbs for the first time in almost a week. Eddie turned to the baby and slid her arms under him to lift him up, "I know, I know this is not fun, huh? Not at all…" Eddie kissed the baby's head and snuggled up in the window seat. Max wasn't as lifeless today, he moved to lay his head on her shoulder. Jamie smiled, if he could paint the picture of love it would be Eddie and his son together on that seat. "Come sit with us," Eddie invited again. "We'd like you to hold us, I know I'd like that, it's good for him to feel us."

Eddie began her little sway and Jamie held onto her and Max from behind. Jamie kissed Eddie's hair on and off, they didn't want to part, neither one of them. Still, they both knew Max was going to get better, they would lose him as a reason to see each other.

Eddie felt all in all, her efforts to dress up and look pretty had worked. Jamie was very attentive that day to her and to Max. He had his hopes up, she was showing him her interest in their connection again. When they had to put Max back in his crib for another dose of medication, Jamie asked, "Do you think maybe when he's better, we can go out as friends, shoot some darts or play pool like we used to?"

Eddie bit her lip, "We can think about that, Jamie, remember Montana is less than three months away now. We'll have time to connect there, to fix some of this, but it does sound fun, let's think about it."

Jamie took her reply as a very good sign.

Just before dinner time, Eddie left to check up on April and visit with her little girl. Jamie kept a silent vigil over his little son while she was gone, he caressed Max's head and looked up when he felt a presence in the doorway.

"Tom," Jamie greeted with a smile. "Come on in, Eddie's not here, she went to spend some time with April."

"I'm heading there after here," Tom replied. "I wanted to check on the little guy and see how he's doing."

Tom looked down at the frail looking baby. Max was almost back to normal visually but still had a while to go. "He's doing much better thanks to you and Eddie. I can't ever thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Jamie," Tom replied. "You are my wife's friend, probably her best in the world and that's enough. To see her happy and smiling is enough for me. Truth be told, I had no idea you and Eddie were this close. She moved our baby girl and housekeeper, so she could be near…"

"I would do nothing less," Jamie replied quickly.

"I know," Tom agreed. "You put his life and yours on the line for our April, I know you said it was safe the whole time but…"

"That's what partners do," Jamie replied. "Eddie and I were that first and that is special and it's different for people that aren't cops to understand."

"Agreed," Tom smiled as Max started to put on a little fuss. "Oh, Max…" Jamie sighed. "He's going to come to soon I hope and he's feeling his legs burn him. Eddie usually sings…"

"I can go to the hotel and ask her to come over," Tom offered. "So, he doesn't upset himself."

Jamie nodded, "She needs this time with April, I'll give it a shot."

Jamie got Max quiet very quickly. "Thanks for letting me stop in and check on him. When he's home, if you're okay with Eddie seeing him, we should have a playdate, the kids can run, and we can watch them."

Jamie nodded his agreement, that wouldn't happen in a million years.

"We'll see," Jamie replied. "It could be fun."

Tom took a breath, "Okay, stop there. There is nothing I wouldn't do for little Max. There's nothing Eddie wouldn't do for him either. But the way you treated her at our house that day was wrong. That gutted my wife like nothing else and I will not stand for that again. You claim you're her best friend you say that she's yours, you do not treat a best friend that way and if it happens again Jamie I'm going to have to put my foot down."

Jamie nodded, "I know now how badly she got hurt and it was wrong. I regret it, I really do "

"You didn't see how hard she cried." The tone was calm and matter-of-fact Tom didn't typically lose his temper, but he felt he couldn't let Jamie actions towards Eddie go.

It broke Jamie's heart he hear his words and actions had made Eddie cry. The truth was that he wasn't only thinking of Max he was thinking of himself and how hard it was for him to leave Eddie. He'd been selfish. "I'm very sorry now for that, Tom."

Tom nodded. "Good, I'll go now and ask Eddie to come back. Remember what I said."

Jamie wasn't sure he'd ever forget.

Tom took his leave and Jamie stood to see him out. Tom turned, Eddie appeared in the hallway in a pretty sweater dress, tights, and boots. She looked pretty and very sexy if Jamie dared think that in this place with his son sick and Tom...

Jamie felt his hair stand on end and his Eddie was cuddled in Tom's arms. It was her husband, but she was his. If that wasn't bad enough, Tom tipped his head and placed a kiss in Eddie's lips. "She's okay?" he asked.

"Perfect," Eddie replied " What was this?"

"Wanted to see for myself how the baby was. I'm glad to see him being better. I'll see you later."

Another two days passed, Max was stronger but not even close to being well. Diane had taken a strong liking to Jamie and Eddie and helped them get lunch in so they could focus solely on Max.

"Who ordered a giant double cheeseburger and fries?" Diane asked. " And who ordered sprouts and mushrooms?"

Jamie laughed, "Grease for the lady thanks. "

Eddie took a huge bite of her burger. "This is so good! Remember the first time we went to dinner intentionally. I did 50 hot wings and you..." Jamie burst out laughing. "You and your appetite." Jamie reached over and poked her belly. "And you still look incredible. You going to see April?"

"Yes," Eddie replied. "Anita says she is calling me. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Jamie smiled. "Give her a hug for me."

Eddie and Jamie finished lunch and she got up. "I'll see you in a few hours call me if he turns again." Jamie promised he would.

Jamie held Max while Eddie was gone, he was stronger today, breathing more steadily and his fever was down. His little face was becoming normal again, now it was just the legs and of course the infection.

Dr. Baker came by and announced that Max was indeed improving. "I hope in a day or two we can lift the heavy pain meds and let him be more alert. His fever is breaking, he's doing very well."

Jamie was relieved enough that he got up to go and call his family, he barely spoke to anyone besides Eddie in days as they focused on Max and the rest of the Reagans kept the home fires burning. Jamie hoped a sudden call wouldn't frighten them, he knew it would scare Eddie and that was not his intent at all.

Henry, Linda, and Erin had a ton of questions, Jamie was gone much longer than he expected to be. Eddie arrived back at the hospital to see a loan figure standing over Max's crib. Eddie's maternal instinct clicked immediately, and she got her claws out and razor sharp.

"Who are you? What are you doing in here with this baby?" Eddie snapped not noticing at first that it was Camille by Max's side. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't expect to see you."

Camille replied, "I came to see Max. I might say the same since Jamie didn't seem to want your closeness to Max to continue."

"Jamie called me the day Max was admitted," Eddie told Camille firmly. "I've been at their sides since. Max is just beginning to start to heal, he's very weak still. Jamie must have stepped away a moment."

Eddie turned on her heel and headed for a quiet private place to make a phone call. Should she stay here with Max like her heart wanted her to do, or should she run like her head told her to do? "Hey, Kara, it's Eddie."

Kara sounded like she might have been crying. "Hey, are you okay?" Eddie's voice was laced with concern to hear Kara upset.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Kara sighed. 'I just got out of a marriage counseling session with Matt and…" Kara sighed. 'He's stubborn as a mule, he won't listen to me or to basic reason at all."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you," Eddie felt bad. Compared to Kara's problems, her upset was minimal.

"No, I'm glad for the distraction, what's up?"

"Camille is in Max's hospital room," Eddie sighed. "I forgot about her, you know? I actually forgot the woman existed, things were kind of getting on track with the friendship and like a bad penny there she was!"

"She is his girlfriend now, I'm surprised she wasn't there more often, it says a lot he called you and not her to sit with him and Max. He wanted you, he needed you…"

"I have needs too, Kara" Eddie sighed. Eddie thought back to Jamie and Camille, they would be Max' parents one day, they would have the family not her. Eddie ached, the moments in Jamie's arms had felt so good, but they were too fleeting to mean much one way or the other. "I want to talk to him about coming back to Max's life. I miss holding that little guy and April misses her friend and she misses Jamie playing with her. It was a good thing."

Kara just listened to Eddie talk it out. She was in pain, and it was too much for the baby too. "Talk to him then, you started pushing him away when he started to act differently. Maybe you should have asked him why?"

Eddie thought that too, many times over. She could have asked why, she should have asked why even. If nothing else, she could have listened a little harder when she confronted him. "I was in such a dark place then Kara. That last time we made love he took me for granted. That's what hurt the worst...our connection there had always been so strong, and he just dismissed me like it was nothing. No matter what was happening between us, that was still no excuse for getting falling down drunk with Spencer and missing April's party. I let him go, hoping he'd come back but… now he has Camille."

"So, what do you do now?" Kara asked. "You go back in there and you stake your claim on that baby boy and his Dad if you want. You respect the relationship with Camille for Jamie, but Max, that one you fight for."

Kara was right, as badly as she hurt about Camille, it was her doing. Max formed a bond with her separate from Jamie. That bond was special, and it was hers alone. Eddie headed back to the hotel room, she was going to wash her face, fix up her hair, and just be together and pretty for Jamie while she helped him with Max. That was the plan for now, whether it worked remained to be seen. Eddie headed back up to Max's room to sit with her little charge, she had been heartbroken when she saw Camille there. Danny was absolutely right it would turn out that one of them would say enough and there would be no more time in Montana. It looks like that person to say enough was going to be Jamie.

When Jamie returned to the room, Eddie was holding Max very close and softly whispering in the baby's ear. "I'm here, Maxy pie. Mommom is here, you are getting better my little guy. Nurse Diane says your heartbeat and your breathing are all better and your fever is so low now.' Eddie rocked back and forth. "That nasty swelling that made my baby hurt is all gone too. I love you so much Max. Mommom is going to have to go when you get better and open those sweet eyes. It's better for you so you don't get so upset, but that doesn't mean I don't love you with all my heart. I do."

Jamie didn't hear what Eddie was saying to Max, but he did love to watch her cuddle his son. When Max was well, he wanted to talk to her about staying in his life. He did need her, if they met at the park or someplace where Max wouldn't feel such anxiety they could make it happen.

Jamie pushed the door open and smiled at Eddie. Her whole demeanor had changed since he left her earlier that day. "Are you okay?" Jamie asked softly approaching Eddie and Max.

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, just rocking him a little, he was stirring a lot more. Diane says she thinks he'll be back with us in a day or two. Then it's a matter of how much damage and…"

"There's no damage,' Jamie said firmly. "Max is going to go back to being his perfect self, happy, giggling, playing his songs and singing, he's going to be just great." Jamie put his hands-on Eddie's shoulders and began to rub them. "You are exhausted. Why don't you sleep at the hotel tonight with April, I'll stay here, and you come back in the morning, so we can hold him again.

"I don't know, I…" Eddie sighed. She knew it was a gesture of concern for her, she was tired and her back ached from the chair. "Let's see how it is later, how he is."

Jamie agreed, "Want to play some rummy when he's sleeping more deeply?"

"That sounds like a plan."

Eddie knew that this was it for her and Jamie. They'd have their friendship and hopefully that meant coming together in times of crisis and times of joy, if not for rendezvous, at least for those things. That was more important, the loving connection had to be more important than the physical. She could love Jamie from afar and support him up close, she was good at it, she'd done it for years.

When a change in Max's breathing signaled a natural sleep, Eddie put the baby in his crib and tucked him in. "I love you, Max. You sleep well."

Jamie kissed his son's head and then pulled Eddie close to him. "Hold me tight," she whispered not realizing she spoke out loud until Jamie did as she asked him and held her tight to him. Eddie's body was exhausted and her mind and heart heavy, as long as there was a Camille, this was the limit for her in Jamie's life.


	79. Chapter 79

Chapter Seventy Nine

They played three rounds of Gin before Eddie decided to take Jamie up on his idea, "I am going to sleep at the hotel. I'll come back before his breakfast."

Jamie smiled and stood to give Eddie a hug, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Goodnight, Eddie."

"Goodnight, Jamie," she echoed. "Goodbye." Eddie headed out of the hospital for a good night's rest and time with her little girl. Jamie settled in at Max's side, "Well, Max, your old man is doing a good job of fixing things don't you think. Not to worry, little man, we'll get her back. You'll see. Daddy will fix everything."

Eddie slept that night, she slept deeply and dreamlessly, her heart heavy but her mind light. She made her decision, best friends, they had to remain that, she could live with that as she always had, but she would have to cut off connection with Max. She couldn't hear the little boy cry and fuss for her anymore. If Camille was Jamie 's choice she had to step aside. She had to give Camille the opportunity to make both Jamie and Max happy, they both deserved that. That was love, intense love for her son. She'd give him up like she had to Jamie, for his own good. When he was older and could understand her coming and going, she would be there as much as Jamie and Camille allowed her to be.

Eddie fed April, "She has her well baby at 2, remember, Ms. Eddie?" Anita reminded her. "We need to go by 12 so…"

"Yes, keep the car downstairs by the hospital, and we'll go. I want to make sure Max is settled and then we can go. We'll get her a treat on the way back, maybe one for us too."

April liked the strawberry yogurt from a little mom and pop shop on the way back to Manhattan. When she was good for the doctor or even a sitter besides Anita, Eddie gave her a treat. Anita smiled, "You look peaceful, Ms. Eddie. Does this mean little Max…"

"He's much better, but the doctors aren't sure if he has any permanent damage. Jamie is convinced he is fine and perfect, but he was so sick for so long. His legs are…they shrunk, I just hope Jamie can handle it if he's got to learn some things again."

Anita put her arm around Eddie, "And you, my lamb, how will you handle not seeing the boy and if he's…"

"I have to do what is best for Max," Eddie replied. "All this time at the hospital was what was best for Max, and if I stop seeing him, that's what's best for Max. I have no choice there. I'm his mother, in my heart I'm his mother and I have to do what he needs. If that means I fight Jamie tooth and nail to be near that baby, that's what it means and if it means I hibernate and stay away…then that's that."

"What about Jamie himself?" Anita asked gently. "What do you do about him?"

"He's got Camille, and he's happy with her or he'd have left her by now. He's got that relationship, I can't damage it. I love Jamie with all my heart and soul, I need him to be happy, I do and if that's not with me, I'll take the friendship. Our core began with friendship, if we have that, and some close time away in Montana, I can live with it."

"Miss April is very lucky, so are all of us, you love so much and we all benefit from it, just listen to me," Anita advised. "Don't love so much you stop loving yourself, if you do then everyone else suffers too."

Eddie marveled at how Anita knew her heart so well. "I better get over to Max, I'll see you downstairs for the doctor at 12."

Eddie road up to Max's room with a smile, she hoped to see that he was peaceful and more alert today than yesterday. Eddie turned down the hallway where Max's room was located and saw Frank walking towards her. He was not in his suit, he was in his grandpa uniform, a plaid shirt and jeans. Before Eddie got close to Frank, she heard it. "Giggle, giggle…" Max's laugh.

She froze in her spot; the baby was awake…she thought she would feel more joy.

Inside Max's room, Jamie was rejoicing in seeing his son awake. They had lifted the sedation the night before and Max has responded beautifully to that. He was sitting up, supported by a boppy, but Diane and Dr. Baker both promised that once he had been sitting again he'd do it on his own in no time. Jamie tickled Max's belly, "Who's got Maxy…" Jamie laughed.

"Da-Dee!" Max replied, his hearing and his voice intact. Jamie had been right, aside from some weak muscle tone, which could be solved his little boy was perfect.

"Yes, Daddy's got Maxy!" Jamie smiled. "You feel good?"

"Yeah!" Max replied and looked for more cuddles and tickles.

Again, Jamie smiled. He couldn't wait for Eddie to come and see how well Max was doing. He couldn't wait for Max' eyes to light up when he saw her there.

Frank saw Eddie frozen in the hallway, "Eddie, it's okay, you can come down. Max is awake, his fever broke…" Frank was all smiles.

Eddie's eyes filled with bittersweet tears, "That's wonderful news, I'm so glad to hear that he's doing better, to hear his laugh…" Eddie took a breath, her work here was done, it was time to go home.

"Come down and see him, I'm sure he'd love to…" Eddie held up her hand. "I can't, I really can't do that to him. Please, tell Jamie I'm so happy to hear Max is conscious and laughing and feeling well. Please tell him that for me."

Before Frank could answer, Eddie turned and headed out of the hospital. She called Anita in haste, "Have the car brought to the hotel entrance with our things, time to go home."

Anita didn't argue with Eddie in that tone, that was her no-nonsense voice, the one even Tom obeyed instantly. "Of course, Ms. Eddie. We'll be there in ten minutes."

Eddie sprinted across the street, dodging oncoming cars, keeping her head down and being totally focused on getting out of there. She didn't want to cry, this was good news. Max was well again and would be going home, still she grieved. She would miss cuddling him and rocking him, she'd miss singing to him and working his little legs, so he could get his swelling to go down. She'd miss it all, but mostly she would miss the time with Jamie. The laughing over their antics together, the quiet times with Max in the window seat, her arms around the baby, his arms around them both…she felt more than she intended to for this day…she knew if she told Anita she would say it was grief.

Frank returned with the coffee he intended to pick up. Jamie was feeding Max some oatmeal. Frank wasn't smiling, it would be hard to tell his son that Eddie had left again, had all but run away from them again.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Jamie asked giving Max another bite. "He likes it this way, with formula. They said he lost too much and needs to gain five pounds back, Eddie will see to it when she gets here."

"Eddie was just here," Frank replied as he sat down near Jamie "I saw her in the hallway and she heard the baby laugh, she turned and left. She said to tell you that she was so glad he was well then she left."

Jamie's heart sank, he knew he should have addressed Eddie's return to Max's life. He knew he should have pushed it with her, now…" Dad, please feed him, I have to catch her."

Jamie took off at full speed trying to get Eddie before she left. She had a head start but she'd still be at the hotel. April was there. Jamie dodged the cars and trucks as he crossed the street, out of breath by the time he arrived. He jogged to the check in desk showing his shield and ID, "Mrs. Manning's room, Mrs. Thomas Manning."

"I'm so sorry," the clerk told a breathless Jamie. "Mrs. Manning and her staff checked out five minutes ago, that's their car."

The clerk pointed to the limo containing Eddie, April, and Anita pulling away from the curb. Jamie felt like he was punched, all the time, all the work and it was for nothing. Eddie still felt that she was unwanted in Max's life, nothing was further from the truth. He'd acted hastily and harshly. He'd rectify all of this, when Max was better, he'd arrange a visit at the park or Chuck E Cheese, and tell her once and for all her place in Max's life was secure.

In the limo, Eddie sat with her face buried in Anita's shoulder. She couldn't help but cry out of happiness as well as sadness for her little boy. He was well, but she'd go back to be a memory for him. It was right for him, but it hurt like Hell.

Anita stroked Eddie's hair, "Talk to Jamie, I'll talk to him maybe hmmm?"

Eddie shook her head, "It's best for Max, we have to do this for Max. I'll be okay, I must get a grip. I have to get a grip on myself."

"Gip…" April announced from her car seat making Eddie laugh. "Yeah, Mommy has to get a grip. Let's stop for some frozen yogurt for breakfast. Anton, the yogurt spot please…"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied and turned the car in the direction of Aprils' favorite treat.

"Catch it!" Eddie encouraged April as she played on the carpet with her. She'd not been home in over a week and she missed this time with her daughter. Eddie's cell phone rang in the kitchen, Jamie's number. She couldn't yet, if it was urgent about Max she knew he'd call the house.

"Good girl, come give Mommy hugs!" April ran to her mother and gave her a huge hug. "You're my dolly," Eddie told her and rocked her back and forth.

The house phone rang as Eddie played. Anita came into the living room, "Ms. Eddie, it's for you and I think you want to take this call."

Eddie sighed and stood up, trusting Anita's judgment for her own. Her heart froze, what if…

"Hello," Eddie said with trepidation, not expecting the voice she heard on the other end.

"Whoa," came the sweet tiny reply from not Jamie but Max. "Say, feeling better…" Jamie prompted.

"Fe be, kay…" Max told Eddie. He talked a blue streak in his baby talk, Jamie giving him pushes. Eddie was smiling, "Good to hear that Max, I'm so happy. Are you happy too."

"Yeah," was the fast reply. "Max…okimeal Da-dee…"

"You had oatmeal! Good boy, I'm so proud of you…" The tears ran freely down her cheeks.

Max babbled away on the phone for a good 10 minutes. Eddie loved hearing his tiny little voice has he talked with her oblivious to all he had just been through.

"Tell her buddy," Jamie urged. "Tell her what we said."

"Goo ho...dadee ta..." Jamie got on the line.

"Eddie, please listen," Jamie asked. "Please. Max is going home tomorrow and I'm really...why did you leave? I thought we worked it out."

"We did, about us being friends again, about Montana but you were right about me and Max. It's not fair to him for me to be in his life."

Jamie sighed, again he was reminded of how badly he screwed up. "You were here for him and he responded to your love and your touch. We can make it work we can give him this."

Eddie wanted to so badly she craved the connection. "I'd love to do it, but his crying..."

"Breaks our hearts so I have an idea, you and April come to us. he'll be home with me or Dad or Pop...let's try it okay? Can we try for you and for Max?"

Eddie didn't know what to say, she wanted this for them, even April loved her time with Max. "Let me know when he is home and well enough, we'll give it another try."

Jamie flashed his smile the first time he felt happy in months.


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter Eighty

"Come on April girl we're going to go see Max today," Eddie told her daughter putting her in her cutest leggings and sweater set. She packed April's cards, Jamie was working, but the baby could play with Henry when Eddie taught Max.

Eddie took great care with her appearance on the off-chance Jamie got home early. She wants him to remember their sex life, their passion, Camille would not make him shudder like she could do. That Eddie knew, Tom couldn't make her shudder either.

"You look pretty, Ms. Eddie," Anita smiled. "Are you home for dinner?"

"Let's play it by ear, I don't know for sure," Eddie was hopeful. She took April to the car and they headed for Brooklyn.

Henry smiled brightly in greeting when Eddie arrived. "He's asleep, why don't you go get him and give him a thrill?"

Eddie smiled, she handed April to Henry then went up to get Max. She passed Jamie's room as she approaches. The room they had shared a special night. His NYPD sweatshirt was on his bed, his scent filled the room. Eddie snuck in and picked up the shirt. She wrapped her arms around it, snuggling into it, she missed him, she missed his gentle touch and his soft kisses. She loved that she was here, but she ached.

Eddie heard the baby stir so she went to pick him up and snuggle him. This was her time, he would call someone else Mommy in the future but for now she rejoiced when Max smiled at her, held on and declared "mom mom."

Eddie carried the boy down the stairs and brought him to the kitchen. "Say hi April, tell Max hi"

April waved at her friend and Max played shy hiding his face. He was so happy and content to be held by his Mommom.

"Oh Max, now say hello to April, you remember her." Eddie encouraged. "Wave hi."

Max finally did as he was asked. Eddie followed the same routine she did at her house, with Henry's help, she fed both kids a lunch, then took Max to start his lesson while April played flashcards with Henry.

Eddie held Max on her lap, she felt he was struggling to keep a hold of his posture, an after effect of his being ill. Jamie worried about that in the hospital but at least cognitively the boy was sound.

"Let's sing Maxy," Eddie encouraged. "Let's sing for Mommom..."

Eddie play the first few measures of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and sang it out. Max repeated, "Inkle inkle liddle sar..." in his baby clear voice. Eddie felt so thrilled as she held him. She prayed that no matter what happened with Jamie and Camille that she'd have this place in Max' life, to see him three times a week, to hold him now and talk to him when he got older. This was her joy in life, her children, April and Max... nothing else made her so happy.

When the lesson was over, Eddie went into the kitchen to see Henry playing with April. "She is whip smart," Henry proclaimed. "She knows all of these, and she's bored, she's sighing like Jamie did when we'd do letters and numbers with him. She's bored stiff, I'll get her some new cards and you can say Uncle Henry got them for you."

"Pop Pop..joosh," Max asked and looked at Henry.

He loves his juice, I heard you two out there, I'm so proud and happy to have you come and do this with him Eddie. You and Max have a special bond, a special place."

"We do, I just hope that it can continue, Jamie's..."

"Jamie is stubborn as an ox, but trust me, you'll wear him down...Now, do you want to stay for dinner?"

That too, made Eddie smile.

Jamie had a hard time concentrating as he sat at his desk processing arrests and directing his officers in the field. Eddie was at his house with Max right now, playing the piano, singing with the baby, having bonding time with him. Jamie wasn't upset about that, he wanted Eddie to bond more and more with his little boy, he wanted to make their family again, but Eddie said friends only, Montana only. That was his fault. Why was seeing Spencer so important?

Jamie couldn't answer that and because he couldn't he knew it was a trivial matter that cost him the love of his life, at least for now.

He wanted to be there with her, he wanted to smell her perfume, hold her close even if just in greeting, then he could close his eyes and remember how she felt beneath him, wrapped all around him. He could remember them in her bed while she recovered, the babies playing while they looked on, he could pretend for a few minutes life was good again.

He missed her, God how he missed her and not just physically, though that was always electric, but emotionally and spiritually. She was his soul mate, his other half, his better half and without her there was a definite hole.

Jamie was working swing and Frank had a meeting, so Eddie was able to stay with Max and Henry. April got on great with the older man, and Henry was adorable with her. He would tickle her chin, ask her little questions, and April would try her best to reply to them. Max sat on Eddie's lap, he still got tired quickly and was back in a walker instead of going on his own.

"How's Jamie handling Max being a little set back?" Eddie asked as she watched the kids play.

"He's okay," Henry replied. "He really is fine with it, Max came out of this relatively unscathed and we have you to thank for a lot of that."

"Jamie's a great dad, he got Max through, and I'm sure you and Frank would have…"

"Of course," Henry replied. "I'd have given my last dime to save him, but you didn't have to give that, and you did it anyway."

"Jamie is my best friend," was the only thing Eddie could think of to say.

Max got tired while they ate supper, "Can I put him down?" she asked Henry.

"Of course, you can," Henry replied. "Just let me get his medicine into him, he likes this fancy one you had made, he takes it like a champ, don't you Max?"

April liked that one, it's from a compounding pharmacy in Phoenix, it will ship overnight so you only have to force feed them one or two doses. Let's face it, it's harder on us than on them."

Eddie watched Max take his medication, then took him upstairs for a new diaper and a bedtime kiss. "Mommom is going but I'll see you in two days, okay?" Eddie gave the boy a big kiss.

Max fussed and held onto Eddie's hair, but when she eased him into the bed he took his bottle and quickly fell asleep. This change of location was a good idea, it was a big help to have him in a familiar environment. With one final kiss, Eddie headed downstairs to retrieve April.

"We're heading out, Henry. I had a good time, he's down for the count up there."

"Good, he'll sleep all night probably," Henry smiled. "My good little guy. So brave. You have a safe drive home, okay? We'll see you in a couple days. I'll make frittata…" Henry said with his usual flair.

"We'll be here, wave bye bye to Henry now," Eddie encouraged her little one. "Say bye bye."

"Bye bye," April echoed with a backwards wave before Eddie carried her out and headed for home.

When Eddie went to see Max that Friday, the baby was crying when she arrived. April wrinkled her nose, she hated to hear anyone be upset. "It's okay," Eddie whispered to April. "We'll find out what's wrong with our Max. Come on…" Eddie held April's hand and she toddled to the door with her mother. Eddie was surprised when Jamie answered the door, "Hey, thought you had to work."

"I do," Jamie replied. 'I have to work but he had his first PT and Pop couldn't get him to calm down, so I swung by," Jamie replied. "That therapist…he's 19 months and he's a good boy but he doesn't understand, it upsets him so much. This is his third time and he's like this each time."

April was reaching to be held by Jamie, so Eddie let her go and picked Max up. "Hey, sweet boy. It's okay, your legs hurt you?" Eddie held the baby and rubbed his legs. Max's cries settled down as she held him, and Jamie rubbed cream into the sore joints. Henry watched from the sidelines, even April joined in to help kissing her friend's foot. "No…no…" she told him. She didn't want him to be sad. "No. No."

This was a family. A mother, a father, two children that relied on and loved each other very much. How could they not see it, their destiny right in front of their faces. It was incomprehensible to him how two intelligent and intuitive cops could make such a mess. This piano thing would help, they'd have to see each other sometimes, he'd see to that.

"It might be easier on him," Jamie began. "If you were involved in his therapy. He is great with you, and you know how much he loves you."

Eddie took a deep breath, "That is a huge commitment Jamie. I'd have to be here every day for hours, I'd have to speak to Tom but off the cuff, I don't think it's a good idea I get that connected with Max again "I'll tell you what though, Mount Sinai has a great children's rehab, I'll set it up for him to get an evaluation, there is no one better I've read about one of them, I'll see if I can get him to work with Max."

"Eddie, that would be too much, the cost…" Jamie sighed.

"The cost is not an issue, Tom will agree to that easily," Eddie assured him. "He'll do anything for Max's well-being and so will I. Let me think about being involved, but like I said, I think it would do more harm than good."

"Well, you are certainly doing just fine with him now," Jamie observed as Max stopped crying and was starting to engage April. "I have to get back to work, thanks again for doing this with him."

"I have as good a time as he does," Eddie assured Jamie. "Okay, little bits, let's eat."

Tom was already home when Eddie got there, he left early that day to speak to his wife. He saw the debit come through for $10,000.00 to a private pediatric physical therapist and felt he had to discuss not just the time Eddie was investing in Max, but also the money.

She was surprised when he got home to see Tom sitting in the bedroom. He must have waited over an hour, Eddie just put April down for her nap.

"Tom, are you okay" Eddie asked concerned he was home before four.

"I don't know," Tom replied. "I'm not sure how I am, confused I think is the word. You know I have no problem with your friendship with Jamie or you being a mother figure to Max, but since he's been sick, you have spent every minute you aren't working focused on Max and his recovery."

"He was a very sick little boy," Eddie replied. "When April was kidnapped…"

"Yes, but April was kidnapped for the day not weeks and April is our daughter, Max is not your son, if he was your son Jamie never would have,"

Eddie cut Tom off, "Max is my son in the ways that count, I love him like April, he's innocent and sweet. It's not his fault he had a criminal for a father and a nightmare for a mother. He needs a mother's love and I have it to give, loving him and April. I just love them more."

"I know you do, but it's too much. The piano is one thing, but April is picking up Henry's habits, now, not good ones and then there is the spending…Jamie's insurance would cover Max…"

"No, it won't," Eddie replied. 'It won't cover the best, Max is a sensitive child, he needs the best of the best and I got it for him. I'm not going to help him do the therapy, I was going to ask you, but I can see now you aren't going to be supportive of that, Jamie is but I'm not sure."

"After he dismissed you…"

Eddie was getting angry at Tom, he was always so fast to be generous. She didn't understand his problem now. "Yes, Max didn't, and Jamie is sorry. We are going to try to fix our friendship, but we are just friends."

"That's not why I'm talking to you, Eddie," Tom replied. "I know you and Jamie are friends and maybe you have forgiven him, but I have not."

Eddie sighed, "Tom…" She was a bit touched he felt so protective. "He was trying to protect Max, he's a single dad, and he's dating Mary freaking Poppins for Heaven's sake. He doesn't have my skills at his disposal on how to not act like a total idiot."

"I have never seen you cry like that," Tom replied gently. "If he does this again I don't know."

"He won't, this was his idea. It was his idea for me to be a little more involved in Max's life, he's dating Camille, when Max accepts her I'll step out of the way quietly, especially when his music skills are toned, and he can get a teacher, I can step back."

"Let's hold things down, okay. I don't want you hurt again and I don't want April to get hurt either. I'm sorry about what I said, Max is your son in your heart, you took to a motherless little boy and you both love one another deeply. That was wrong."

Eddie stepped close and hugged Tom, "Is it okay about the money? They wanted the payment immediately. Jamie's going to submit it and pay us back…"

"It wasn't about the money, I made that an issue, but it wasn't the real issue at all. You want to get a bite to eat, just us? We can get that pizza you like the stuffed meat one."

"Sure," Eddie smiled. "Let's go…


	81. Chapter 81

Chapter Eighty One

Eddie, Max, April, and Henry settled on a nice routine. Eddie scheduled the lessons on therapy days for Max. The little boy quickly learned when Eddie was going to be coming and Henry used her presence as a reward for behaving and working hard in his therapy.

"His legs are fine, his whole body is just weak," Henry told her. "But he's a Reagan, he's tough." Eddie kissed Max's cheek, "You're a tough guy?" she asked him.

"Tough guy!" he echoed in his best baby speech.

Eddie held Max's hands and walked with him to the piano. He didn't want to do it, he kept stopping and looking up at Eddie. "Come on, Max, go to the piano." April helped, she walked beside Max until they reached the bench. Eddie praised them both then sat down with Max. April sat with Henry, he had letter flashcards for her. She though it was a game, but in reality she was learning so fast Eddie was afraid sometimes that her mouth wouldn't catch up with her brain.

When Eddie was leaving that night, she saw a brightly wrapped gift in red foil paper on the desk where Jamie did his bills and things. The card was addressed in Jamie's hand only to "My Valentine."

"Eddie," Henry called looking for her. She had been right behind him on the way to the kitchen then stopped. When Eddie was forced to meet Henry's gaze, he saw the tears on her face. Eddie seemed, suddenly, in a hurry to leave.

Henry wanted to ask why she was so upset but he never got that chance. Eddie left with April, posthaste.

As Eddie drove home she kept seeing the present in her minds' eye. She had purchased him a little gift from April, and she had something for Max. She knew that she and Jamie were not exchanging gifts that year, no reason to, the present had to be for Camille. They each belonged to another Valentine. Eddie didn't know how long she could handle the pain. She'd gut it out for Max, this was not his fault, and he loved their time, but anything more than friendship with Jamie, might not be in the cards, Still there was Montana.

Jamie got home a little after 8 that night, "Pop, you left this out, you were supposed to hide it so Eddie didn't see it. I want to surprise her and make Valentine's Day really special for her this year."

"I'm sorry, Max had therapy then Eddie came to feed the kids lunch and I forgot, sue me,' Henry replied.

Jamie shook his head, "How was she today?"

"She walked Max around a little bit when she got here, held his hands like when he was learning, But when it came time to leave she went really fast and looked like she'd been crying."

"Crying?" Jamie's eye brows went up at that. "You let her leave upset, Pop?"

"She wanted to go and I didn't want to push into her private life," Henry replied. "I doubt she even saw the present." Henry didn't mention she'd froze when looking at it. When Eddie found out the truth that pain and hurt would certainly pass.

Jamie pulled out his phone, "Text me when you are home safe."

A minute later she did, saying only, "Home."

Jamie sat down to have his supper with Max. "Did you sing your new song for Eddie?" Jamie laughed tickling his belly.

"No, no…" Max told him. "Tinkle sar…"

"Oh, Twinkle Twinkle little star," Jamie smiled. "Will you sing it for daddy? Let's sing it together you and me."

"Tinkle tinkle…" Max sang with Jamie. Jamie loved how his boy loved music.

Jamie sent Max off in his walker after they ate for his leg exercise. Jamie wanted to text Eddie again and see if she was okay. That would be within her boundary as friends, right? While Jamie contemplated sending a text with twelve different comparisons for words, he realized Max had gotten awfully quiet. "Max, where are you buddy?"

Jamie heard the baby giggle and turned toward the sound. Max had wiggled out of the leg hole of his walker and was now sitting with the gift Jamie had so carefully wrapped between his legs, the bright red paper in tatters all around him. He grinned at Jamie, "Petty Da-Dee…"

"Yes, pretty," Jamie laughed. "Or at least it was. You wanted to see Eddie's present again huh? You made such a nice gift for her."

Max clapped his hands, "Ed-dee…" To her face she was Mommom. But like this she was Eddie, special and sweet Eddie.

"That was for Eddie…Oh Max." Jamie couldn't be mad at him, he looked so cute with wrapping paper all around him. He'd simply have to get more wrapping paper, he used the last of his red on April's gift.

When Jamie did bedtime that night, he felt the urge to text Eddie a picture of Max sound asleep in his bed. He looked so cute there resting and humming his song as he dozed.

Eddie put April to sleep then got into her bed, Tom was out again, that was okay with her. Eddie's phone beeped and there was a picture of her Max. "Goonight…" was the caption. Eddie simply replied, "Good night."

When Eddie arrived to give Max his Valentine's lesson, Jamie was home. He was supposed to be at work, that was the deal Eddie made with herself. He would be at work and she would be here with Max and Henry.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Jamie smiled with Max on his hip. "Let me take her for you."

Jamie received April and took both kids through to the living room. He'd set up a soft red blanket for them to have a picnic in the living room. There was a bottle of wine chilling and food for the adults and the babies.

Eddie looked and smiled, Jamie set this up for them to have time today. She didn't understand why but she'd be grateful. "Have a seat. I even have cushions so it's not hard on the floor. I made grilled salmon burgers and sweet potato fries for us and bananas and puffs for the kids. I thought it'd be a nice way to spend the afternoon. Especially since I never see you when you come for Max."

Eddie knew Jamie was too smart for her, he would catch on to her to avoiding him. She sat down on the red cushion Jamie laid out for them and smiled, "Happy Valentine's Day, Jamie."

The babies crawled on the floor and took out the spindles and blocks to play. April chose to examine her blocks, Max was a doer, he built things and then knocked them down to start again. Jamie brought the kids lunch and then theirs. He settled down close to Eddie on the blanket, so close their arms touched.

"How is it that you were able to do this?" Eddie asked. "I was sure you'd want to be off tonight."

"I took a sick day," Jamie replied. "Even with all the time I had off for Max I have a bunch of days so I thought a picnic here with you and the kids would be a really nice way to spend today."

Jamie shifted closer to Eddie, "Try that burger, I worked hard."

Eddie took a bite, "This is actually really good. Did you stuff this first?"

Jamie nodded, "Lobster is sort of a Valentine's type of dish so…" Jamie took a bite of his. They kept one eye on the kids, they were playing so nicely together. "We are really lucky," Jamie said softly putting his arm around Eddie's shoulders. "We have great kids, good jobs, and I have a very wonderful person to call my best friend.' Jamie's lips found Eddie's cheek and he kissed it tenderly.

"So do I. I was just thinking in six weeks we'll be in Montana, I heard they are changing a lot of the projects there this year, looking at team building and such as the focus. If we have to do to that trust and bonding thing again…" Eddie laughed at the memory.

"I'll catch you," Jamie assured her. "And you'll catch me, you've caught me so much these past years since we had our first night in Montana. I need to do a better job of catching you and making sure you know how much I…"

Max tossed a block on the hard wood floor and squealed, he was getting tired of sitting and playing. April was rubbing her little eyes, Eddie checked the clock. Had she really done this? Had the feeling of being cuddled to Jamie really made her lose track of the time this badly? It was far past nap time and playing time for both kids.

"Let's take them up for a nap, we can finish eating and clean up after," Jamie suggested. "She can share his bed."

Carefully, Jamie and Eddie carried their babies to Max's room and laid them down in the crib. "Aww, look at how he cuddles up to her," Eddie smiled. "He protects her."

April was much smaller than Max, he was the right size for his age where April was smaller than she should be although healthy. "I tried to protect you, they are best friends too."

When the babies had fallen asleep, they left the room. As they walked past Jamie's bedroom, he felt the urge to turn and kiss her. He hadn't gotten to finish saying what he felt downstairs, perhaps he'd take advantage of naptime to show her.

Jamie spun Eddie into his arms, he let her body dip back, the way one might see in love stories of old, then leaned over to place a kiss on her lips. It was not a chaste kiss, it was not a best friend kiss, this was a lover's kiss, deep and soulful.


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter Eighty Two

Eddie opened her mouth instantly to Jamie's, her arms wrapped around his neck and she sighed against his lips. "Oh…" Eddie gave a little light moan and inhaled the scent. This was her Jamie, and he wanted to kiss her and hold her. Eddie's arms tightened around him as Jamie pulled her up to rest flush against him. Strong arms wrapped around Eddie's back and one hand slid to cup her buttocks. Her own hands rubbed and caressed Jamie's back, one in his short wispy hair at the base of his neck, the other seeking the skin under his shirt.

"I missed you," Jamie whispered walking her to his bedroom and slowly lying her down. He wanted to touch her, feel all of her beneath him, her soft skin, her silky hair, the way she would breathe his name into his ear when he loved her.

"Jamie…" the whisper came and he felt his groin tighten with months of pent up desire. He never felt this way with Sydney, Claudia, Camille, never had he felt such a need to connect to another person physically. The relationship angst they suffered and then the closeness they had during Max's illness had renewed his desire, and passion.

"Jamie I need you so much," she moaned. "Love me Jamie. Please love me."

"I do," he sighed. "How I do…"

Eddie felt Jamie slowly removing her blouse, working it over her head. He smiled at her and leaned down, unfastening her front clasp bra. "Oh…" she sighed. "Jamie…touch…" Inside her head though, she heard his declaration, "I do…" That didn't explain Camille, if he loved her…she loved him, but that didn't explain Tom. Life was that way…but this wasn't life, this was now.

Eddie's hands removed Jamie's shirt and lie together motionless, skin touching skin. Their hearts raced, their mouths waters. Eddie took control, she held onto Jamie tightly and kissed his cheeks, his lips, his eyes…He rained kissed down her neck, suckling her earlobe, lapping at her neck. "So beautiful, so so beautiful," Jamie murmured taking in the flush of her skin and her ample bosom. "I want to taste you…"

He dropped his head and took her breast into his mouth, his tongue bathed the tender nubbin, he felt it bud. Eddie was already aching inside, she needed their bodies to connect, perhaps when that happened he'd see, he'd know…"

'Waah…Waah…" April began to cry, it was her delicate little wail that shocked them both. Eddie sat up quickly and began to fix her clothes, it was unlike April to cry that way.

"I'll get her, don't worry." Jamie padded into the bedroom to find April sitting up in the crib, tears running down her face.

"Oh, no, no, none of this,' Jamie cooed to her picking her up and holding her against his bare chest. "You want Mommy?

"Dada…Mama…" She told Jamie and reached towards the door as if she knew Eddie was that direction. "Dada…"

Jamie held April close then brought her to Eddie. "She's not wet, maybe she woke up in a new place and didn't see us…"

Eddie took her baby and held her. "You scared? Mommy's here. Mommy's right here." Eddie slowly rocked the tiny girl against her. "You have very bad timing little bit."

Eddie quickly settled April down but it was clear the little girl wasn't going to be going back to sleep anytime soon. She looked up at Jamie, "Mew mew…Dada, mew…"

"How can I say no to that?" Jamie asked. "When Max wakes up, after his lesson, we have a surprise for you and April."

"More of a surprise than this?" Eddie asked sitting on Jamie's bed with April on her lap. "I do wish she slept, I missed…"

"We'll have other chances," Jamie soothed. "We're friends again, we are talking more, we'll have other chances." Jamie kissed the tip of Eddie's nose softly. He felt this would signify a return to their previous connection but he would not push her, he would let her relax and let her come to him.

Jamie went downstairs to get April's cards from Eddie's bag, he would play with the baby while Max rested. The look on April's face was adorable, she smiled at Jamie and watched him flip the cards. When she got it right, Jamie would tickle her belly. April had her mother's laugh. It was pure joy.

Max woke up an hour later, Eddie got him from his crib and took him down for his lesson. Max wasn't in much of a learning mood, he had another idea on his mind. "Max, no no…" Eddie chided. "Play nicely…sing with Momom…Twinkle twinkle…"

Jamie choked up again, she was so patient with both kids, she didn't lose her temper, she didn't' insult Max, she was calm and gentle, always. What his boy deserved. It killed Jamie, the separation was so hard. Slowly but surely, he would win her back. If he had to do that through Max, so be it, it would for the good of the family he still wanted to build.

"Okay, Maxy," Jamie smiled at his son. "Let's go get surprises for Eddie and April. Come, sail your little self over here."

Max took himself to his father and took the lighter of the two packages. Max's was for April, wrapped in the bright shiny wrapping paper Eddie had seen around the box on the table the other day. Jamie's was much heavier and wrapped in paper with a black base and bright hearts, the card read, "Happy Valentine's Day."

Max handed the little package to April, she took it and pulled at the wrapping with Eddie to help her. "Oh look what you have there," Eddie smiled. "Look sweetie, it's a teddy with a heart…you like it?"

"Yesh," April replied and hugged the toy tight smiling ear to ear. "Thank you guys that was really sweet, Eddie smiled.

"This is for you too," Jamie replied. 'From me and Max"

Jamie handed the box to Eddie and she carefully opened it. Inside was the most beautiful music box she had ever scene, the wood finish was mahogany and the glass was etched with a red heart, "I love you," was written in the center. "Open it up, there's a song."

Eddie lifted the lid and instead of the run of the mill song that music boxes played, Max's little voice come out in perfect tone.

Que sera sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not our to see

Que sera sera…

"Oh, that's so sweet," Eddie gushed. "Maxy that's so cute. Thank you so much' Eddie had tears running down her cheeks. That song always resonated with her, she dedicated it to her mother at her Coming Out, it was the last time that she was with her mother and her father together in public. She'd mentioned that to Jamie once and he'd remembered it. Hearing that song from Max, her special little guy on such a special day warmed her heart. Jamie reached out to brush Eddie's cheek softly. He loved that she was smiling so brightly, that their gift had really touched her.

"Pop helped him with the tune and I taught him the words," Jamie smiled. "I'm glad you like it." Eddie stood up and leaned into Jamie's arms. He gently closed her in his embrace while Max and April looked up at them. Max finally pulled on Eddie's leg. As much as she loved to hug the little guy, she didn't want to let Jamie go.

When Eddie pulled away from Jamie, she dropped down and gave Max a hug, "I love it. Thanks you so much baby boy…Give kisses."

Eddie stood up and picked April up, "Come on, let's show Jamie what we got for Max. Come on…"

Eddie helped Max open the box and inside was a silver pitch pipe. "This was mine when I was little and did a little dance and theater. You can blow it and set the tone for his music when Pop and I aren't available to do that with the piano. I thought you'd be able to help him some and I wanted to share it with him too."

Jamie was touched at such a personal gift for his son, he was part of Eddie's family, in her heart, that's where he belonged and it's where she held him dearly.

It was beginning to get late, Eddie believed Jamie had a date even though he wasn't pushing her out, he hadn't invited her to stay either. "I have one more gift," she finally said. It stung that the package she saw the other day was for another woman, there was one at home as well that was meant for another. How was she a wife and a friend and the other woman in both ways? That didn't' make sense.

Eddie reached into her purse and handed Jamie a card. "That's for you. Just a little something. I really need to get going, there's going to be a lot of traffic."

"Stay!" Jamie wanted to cry out. "Stay with me!" But he only smiled at her, "Have a really good night, Eddie." Jamie kissed her lips softly once more. "Happy Valentine's Day. We should do this again soon…"

Eddie nodded, "Be a good boy, Max. I'll see you soon okay."

Max waved at her, he was learning that Eddie left but then came back, just like Daddy. He didn't' have to be scared.

When Eddie was gone, Jamie opened the card she gave him. It had a sweet poem about friends then a letter scrawled in Eddie's hand.

Dear Jamie,

I wanted to wish you the very best on this Valentine's Day. It doesn't seem to be in the cards that we spend one together, but my thoughts are always with you. You're my very best friend and I am so glad that while Max had his struggles, we found our footing there again. I need you in my life, not the constant contact way that hurt us both, but I need to know you are there when I'm afraid, when I'm tired, when I'm overwhelmed, and I need you to know that I am here when you feel the same things.

I want to work on this foundation more. I want us to find that trust and bonding we lost and become the friends no one could possibly break up, to be that strong…Reagan and Janko ride again, so to speak. I hope you want that too and I hope you'll join me in a pact never to let anyone or anything else interfere in that ever.

Thank you so much for Max I love him like he's my own son, you know that and the separation was painful for me. I'm glad we reached an agreement that will, at least for now, allow us to have that contact.

Each night, I think of Montana, and the time we will share to bond and grow. I know something positive is just around the corner for us.

My love and friendship,

Eddie

Friendship. She still wanted that boundary, that limit there. That stung, he had tried to romance her today, but it wasn't in the cards. She was going home, probably to Tom, and he was here with Max and soon Henry for a Valentine's dinner bachelor style. "Come on, Max, you want to play with this?" Jamie blew a pitch and Max smiled. "Ceeeee….." He sang, Jamie felt Eddie's presence when they did this, perhaps it would help Max not miss her so much. He didn't think it would have much of an effect on him.

"And open!" Tom told Sue as he led her blindfolded into the honeymoon suite of the Plaza Hotel.

"Tom!" Sue exclaimed. He hadn't pampered her like this in months. "It's lovely but…"

"No buts you deserve it," Tom replied softly kissing her head. "Things have been tough at home, Eddie was depressed, her extra time was taken up by little Max Reagan so I was helping with April. I missed you so much."

Sue turned in Tom's arms and laid her head against his chest. They gently cradled each other, their lips meetings, and hands gently stroking, a love years in the making, with a gentle maturity younger lovers could only envy. "Don't you have to be at home with Eddie?" Sue asked.

"No, told her I had to be in Philadelphia," Tom replied. "I'm all yours tonight. We've got all night my love, let's make the most of it."

Sue was grateful for the special time, she held onto Tom and let him love her up one side and down the other, no matter what conviction she would make, she never could turn him down even if she vowed she was finished with this forever.

Back in Long Island, Eddie watched the Little Mermaid with April. She had considered asking Jamie if he wanted her to help with Max but she didn't' want to make it easier for him to be with Camille, the little home wrecker.

"That's not fair of Mommy, either, is it?" Eddie asked the baby on her lap. "No, Mommy told Mr. Jamie to go and be happy, friends need to do that right?"

April laughed and grabbed her feet with her hands, amazed at her toes. "I know, Mommy messed up. Jamie did too, got falling down drunk, missed my baby's birthday. But I pushed instead of listened. Do you think Mommy's letter was a help though? Jamie was kissing and snuggling me before you, little girl, woke up and interrupted us."

April giggled again and turned back to the TV, she wanted to watch the movie, her Mommy was talking way too much.

Eddie stroked the baby's hair, "Okay, Mommy will be quiet."

April fell asleep watching the movie, Eddie put her to bed and snuggled up in her own bed alone. The short time in Jamie's arms warmed her and gave her hope, but now he was holding his Valentine, Tom was holding his…she had her pillow, her memories, and her dreams.


	83. Chapter 83

Chapter Eighty Three

Jamie tried but he couldn't get the image of Eddie in his bed out of his mind. When he fell asleep that night, like her, he dreamt of the beauty their reconnection could have brought.

Jamie moved up and down, relishing in the feel of Eddie's skin on his own skin. This would be enough for him, it honestly would, but he wanted to take it further, show her the depth of his love had not changed through the strife.

Eddie's hands were working at his belt, sliding his pants away from his hips, revealing to her her view his slender waist, taut muscles, and erect masculinity. One of her hands dipped down and massaged him, fingers gentle but penetrating, his body responded with even more desire.

Jamie worked Eddie's bottoms off, his hand cupped her mound, feeling her silky softness on his hands. He missed that feeling, the sensation of her need for him on his body. He leaned down for a kiss, she leaned up to meet him. They both wanted to connect right now, but they also wanted this feeling to last forever.

"My love," Jamie murmured to Eddie, the words he'd sprawled on the envelope of the Valentine gifts. "Oh, my sweet love…"

"Jamie," Eddie moaned. "My Jamie…you're mine, this is us…" Eddie crooned to him then leaned back against the headboard moving so his head rested on her chest. The contact so important to their growth as friends and lovers. Eddie didn't' want to be without him again, Jamie didn't want to be without her. They would make this work, they would have to.

"Can't do this," Eddie moaned in Jamie's ear. "Can't live without you, can't…"

"I know…" Jamie murmured. "I can't either, I need you so badly, I ache for you…"

"take me" Eddie pleaded "Take me now…come home to me Jamie."

That was all the invitation he needed to push into her opening. Jamie paused and felt Eddie's body stretch to accommodate his size. She was so warm, so soft, her hips urged him to thrust, he needed little urging.

Jamie spilled his lifeforce into Eddie's center, she held onto him, riding the waves, tears running down her face. His tears mingled with hers until they didn't' know which tears had come from which one of them.

When it was over, Jamie stayed inside, neither wanted to break apart physically. He wanted to hold her close that way for the rest of his life, he wanted to make Max and April again, he wanted so much. "Don't," Jamie whispered. "Please don't ever let us part again. I will never do the terrible things I did again, I won't ever hurt you again I promise."

"I won't either, I'll keep my vows to you, Tom and all. We will make our family, we'll all be a family the four of us…"

He pulled her tighter, and closer to him, their hands on each other. Eddie fell asleep with her face buried in Jamie's chest. He fell asleep with his head resting on her hair, they both napped as peacefully as their babies down the hall.

Jamie woke up and had to catch his breath. He looked to find the sky dark and his bed empty. He curled around the pillow that still smelled of Eddie's perfume and inhaled. He couldn't stop the tears or the sobs from coming out from deep inside his soul. He didn't want to, he wanted to feel the pain of the loss, that would drive him to work harder than ever to make things right.

Eddie shot up in bed and cried out, "Jamie!" she looked around the room, they weren't together, they weren't in Montana under their special tree. She was alone in her bedroom, it had all been a dream, a beautiful dream and memory.

Jamie held Eddie against the tree, his arms allowing her room to escape if she wanted. They had only been together only the once, their first time as lovers in her room after Jamie plead his heart out to her. She took him to her heart and her body openly and now he was returning that favor ten fold.

Jamie slid down and laid on the ground, hold Eddie over him like a blanket. Their lips met and their hands began to search and touch. Jamie pulled Eddie's blouse off and settled down with her body over his. "Here?" Eddie whispered. "You want to…"

"Yes, I want to, I want this so much…I want you…I don't want to let you go without one more…"

Eddie's lips stopped Jamie's words, she kissed him deeply, exploring the inside of his mouth. Jamie's kiss was so sweet, so deep, his hands gentle, but their mutual need great. They had been waiting for this and never let themselves go there, until the walls came down.

Walls around theirs hearts were crumbling and the barriers between their bodies melted away as their hands peeled back the layers keeping them from connecting. Love outside was a risk, but also a blessing.

Jamie didn't let Eddie's skin touch the dirt. He supported all of her weight on his body so that she didn't' feel the rough cool ground. Eddie straddled him and moved her hips and her body up and down. Jamie's body was ready, he wanted her and it showed. "Eddie wanted him to want her as much as she always desired him.

"Touch me," Eddie sighed. "I'm close, so close…"

"I know, me too, let go Eddie, let go with me…"

She did, Jamie's kisses covered her cries. Eddie held onto him and rode the wave home. They lay spent under their tree, her body caressed by his hands. Jamie kissed her hair, "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know…but we can't, we have lives, you're going to have a family. We can't, but we'll always have this beautiful memory."

Eddie sighed to herself, this last year they were together so much, now she had restricted them to just Montana, one of those days that would be gone too but for now she had it to dream about on cold lonely days like this.

"Eddie, you have mail honey," Tom called out with a smile as he sorted their correspondence a few weeks later over breakfast.

Eddie opened the envelope, "We're invited to a wedding for Kevin McKenna's son. Must be a shotgun kind of thing, preprinted invite and it's this weekend."

"This weekend?" Tom asked. "Oh, honey I can't go to that, I'm in D.C. You should go and have fun you know a bunch of people, buy yourself a new dress and give them enough to have a really nice honeymoon."

Eddie nodded, "I think I will go, I'm sure Kara's going to go and Regetta, Renzulli. Maybe I"ll see if Haley wants to go with me. I think she's in the area this week."

"Good girl," Tom replied. "Now today, why don't we go pick out that dress and get April that haircut you've been talking about her needing. I'd like to see her first cut."

"All right, that sounds like a good plan," eddie smiled. "Let me get read and we'll go."

While Eddie and Tom shopped that day, she thought of the old guard of th 12th that would likely be there. Regetti, Maldonato, and of course Jamie…As she selected dresses to try on, Eddie kept asking herself, what would Jamie think of this outfit? Would Jamie like the color of this dress? She wasn't even sure yet if he would be there, but she was dressing to impress.

Eddie purchased a new silver purse, and pair of silver pumps to go with her new dress. "You're going to turn head, I might have to go to keep the other men off of you."

Eddie rolled her eyes at how hypocritical that sentence was. She would enjoy this wedding with her friends, she wanted to see Jamie, hoped she'd see him, perhaps she could find that out before she went.

"You coming to the wedding, Jamie?" Kevin asked the Sergeant as they changed their clothes.

"Wouldn't miss it, just me though," Jamie replied. "Erin's busy and I'm single again, but I am looking forward to a party with all the old gang."

"We'll have a good time, you might even meet someone. I have a few single ladies…"

Jamie shook his head, "Oh no…no no…I'm not going there. I'll be the designated driver for a few others and kick back with a smile. It's going to be great."

In the back of his head, Jamie thought about Eddie. Was she invited? Would she go and be there with Tom? If she was, he'd do his best to steal a dance and tolerate the rest, without liquor, his drinking to excess had caused a lot of this.

"Going to meet Erin for dinner," Jamie told Kevin. "Do I need to have her pick out anything specific for this thing?"

"Nope, regular suit and tie is fine, it's thrown together pretty quick, his girlfriend is about to get deported so…"

Jamie nodded, "Of all the people they could deport "they" do it to nice young girls who haven't hurt a flee. See you Saturday, Kevin."

Saturday afternoon, Eddie got dressed with Anita's help. "Just a little more curls around the face if you can, Anita."

"Of course I can, I'm a beauty school dropout,' Anita laughed. "This is going to be so pretty on you. And you said you'll see Jamie?"

Eddie nodded, "Kara said he told her was going and that he's going alone so I'm going to make it a nice night. I pushed him so far away with that whole move on thing, our first real connection was at a wedding, so…is it wrong?"

Anita sighed, "Under some circumstances yes, but this way I think it's fine honey. There, that is perfect, give me that pretty comb now."


	84. Chapter 84

Chapter Eighty Four

Jamie was first to arrive at the wedding. He was in his traditional wedding suit, charcoal grey, pressed white linen shirt, and grey tie. He had on Eddie's favorite cologne and spit shined his shoes. To complete the ensemble, he wore a pair of cufflinks that Eddie had given him for a gift, they were simply engraved 12D…a throwback to their days on the beat. The ceremony had been private, and the reception at the rooftop of an elegant Brooklyn hotel.

Jamie looked at the seating chart, McKenna had put him at the same table as Eddie and much to his delight, Tom was not included on the seating chart. He got a cola and sat down, making small talk with the other people at the table until he saw Eddie.

Jamie's heart stopped. She was a vision, in a deep emerald green dress with a scoop neck. It was skintight, hugging her luscious curves in all the right places. The front of the dress was short, the hemline in the midthigh, but the back was long and flowing, touching the floor. The back was adorned with a simple bow just below the waistline. Jamie licked his lips and guzzled his soda his mouth was so incredibly dry.

Eddie's heels were at least two inches higher than normal, Jamie noted. They showed off the shape of her legs, the curve of her hips…and her hair, the gorgeous locks were in a half back half down style, his very favorite. The curls were held with his silver comb and the tendrils that were left curled in small wisps. Jamie stood up and was drawn to her side like a magnet. She was too beautiful…and he wanted to make sure she stayed close to him all night long.

"Hey, look at you handsome," Eddie smiled at Jamie. "I love you in the grey. Very clean and sharp there, Reagan," Eddie leaned up and gave Jamie a kiss on the cheek. She let her lips linger just a bit near his ear. "You, uh, by yourself?"

Jamie nodded, "Our table is right this way." Jamie offered Eddie his arm. "If you'll allow me, I noticed Tom is not joining us."

"No, he's away, too short of notice for him," Eddie replied. "But so many old friends are here. It's going to be a fun night. I'm drinking my usual."

Jamie nodded, "Coming right up."

Jamie provided Eddie with her drink and made her a plate of finger foods. It was easy to step into the role of her date, taking care of her needs and making sure she was enjoying herself. "Remember when we tried this the first time?" Eddie asked. "The food was terrible and I couldn't get you to dance."

"Not going to be dancing tonight either," Jamie replied. "My foot has been a problem the last couple weeks."

Eddie hated to hear that for two reasons, she wanted to be close to Jamie and she didn't like him hurting or sore. "Well, we'll see about that. Try this chicken and bacon thing, it's so good…"

As the wedding party picked up, Eddie worked her way to the dance floor. A lot of the woman from the precinct had gone stag, their husbands or boyfriends having to work considering the tight turn around. Eddie joined them, her drink in her hand, while Jamie watched from the table.

That dress was a turn on for him, he could see the movement of her legs then watch the material flow up and down as she moved. Her entire body was visible, because he knew the subtle curves and dips of her person. He wanted to grab her off that dance floor and pull her to the nearest…

His phone beeped, thinking it could be his father about Max, Jamie checked it. "I feel you watching me…look up…"

The text was from Eddie. Jamie quickly obeyed her command and looked up to see her working her chest as the beat of the music increased. She had her phone in her tiny clutch purse, when she felt Jamie's eyes on her she winked and smiled at him.

Jamie's phone beeped again, he looked down. "Does this remind you of something?"

Jamie looked up again and saw Eddie gyrating her hips, it did remind him of a lot, it reminded him of many nights in each other arms, holding close and tight to one another. It reminded him of how badly he wanted to hold her in his arms, of how much he could want her just by being in the same room.

His phone beeped a third time, "I want your hands on me…this dance is making me so hot…Help me cool off?"

Jamie raised his eyebrow and decided to play along. "What do you have in mind?"

Before Eddie could type her reply, an officer from the 4-9 was caught in her spell. She was working her body hard and fast to capture Jamie's physical attention if nothing else. She knew she could turn him on by just breathing the same air, no one else could ever say that. Eddie didn't' realize that she would attract other men, she was focused on her objective.

It got under Jamie's skin when he saw Tom touching Eddie and she and married to him, so it really bothered him seeing an officer from another precinct pluck her up and start to dance with her.

Jamie stood up and stepped over to break that up. "Excuse me, may I cut in?" he directed the question to Eddie but the officer backed off quickly. There was a smolder in Jamie's gaze that told him it was time to back off, this lady was spoken for. She'd cast her hook in the water though. Still, he knew if he pushed it, he might end up with a shiner to go with his hangover.

Jamie pulled Eddie close to him and spun her around. Her dress twirled with her body, elevating her elegance even more. "Thought you said you weren't dancing today?"

"I wasn't," Jamie replied. "But then I saw that guy with his hands all over you, had to come and rescue you."

Eddie ran her hand up and down Jamie's back, tickling the hair at the base of his neck. "Do you remember what happened the last time you did that at a wedding?"

"We both ended up in a Long Island jail," Jamie laughed. "And you got mad at me and left me alone there."

"You were a jerk!" Eddie protested. "You wanted me and you wouldn't claim me. That was just plain wrong. Although, the dance the next night, that was all sorts of romantic."

"We got a song from that night," Jamie whispered. "And all of our memories now include it, that's special."

Kara watched Jamie and Eddie on the dance floor. He had jumped out of his chair to break up that dance, and now they were dancing off beat to a rock song. She went to the DJ and tipped him, requesting a piece of music near and dear to their hearts.

Jamie and Eddie were both surprised when the music began to play, their special song, the one they just discussed. "Now I have to have this dance," Jamie replied and swayed with Eddie to the classic ballad.

"You know my one regret, so far tonight, that you did not deck that guy and go flying into the cake," Eddie laughed.

"This I have to hear," Jamie laughed. "Why is that a bad thing? Only you would have a good reason for that."

Eddie smiled, "Cause this way I can't lick the cake off you."

"Oh," Jamie chuckled and felt his arousal intensify. She's been baiting him all night long and he knew it, he also loved it and couldn't wait to see the results of her efforts. He knew she had a lot more instore for him, the longer he held out the more fun it would be.

Eddie got one more dance out of Jamie, "I've got to sit," he told her after that. "Do you want another drink before I do?"

"I'll get us drinks, rest your foot," Eddie replied gently. "You want a beer or something?"

"No, I'm not drinking tonight, thanks. Soda is fine."

Eddie put her hand on Jamie's forehead, "Are you sick? Not drinking at all?"

"No," Jamie said quickly. "The last time I went out and drank I broke your heart and some of that was the liquor. I'm not ruining this night and this time that way. I don't trust myself to drink and not hurt you, I can't hurt you again."

Eddie felt her throat close up, "We hurt each other, but okay. I don't want ot talk about that now and ruin tonight either. Sit down, I'll be back."

Eddie got their drinks then sat down by Jamie's side at the table. The main course was being served, him fish, her beef. They automatically made Surf and Turf from their plates without thinking or talking about it, just as magnetic as their pull to be close was their innate sense of each other right down to casually eating off each other's plates.

Kara watched this whole exchange. Matt was there with her but they hadn't even shared a dance, Jamie and Eddie were at odds and they were more affectionate and intune. They were soul mates, she had not found that yet, and it stung

Eddie danced a little more with her friends while Jamie kept watch. Word must have gotten around that he was looking out for Eddie because she was still dancing for his benefit and no one else made a move. The wedding ring might have had something to do with holding off the sober guys.

Eddie and Jamie shared a private joke when the cake was cut. "It's better when it's mushed on the floor," Eddie laughed eating her piece. "This cake is dry."

Jamie had to agree, he wasn't big on cake to begin with so it wasn't that much of a disappointment for him.

"Ladies' and gentlemen, at this time we'd like to invite all the single gals…" Eddie got up. "Eddie?"

"Just getting a better view," she replied. "Come on, it's fun."

Jamie got up and stood next to Eddie and Kara. The music played and the bride tossed the bouquet. It was caught by her elegantly dressed cousin, tall, thin, brunette and hot as Nevada in July. Jamie looked at the woman, then at his Eddie. No comparison, not even close.

"Now let's have all the single men…come on up here…" Jamie stood still.

"Jamie, come on, you are single right?" Regetti asked him as he watched the action. "Go on…" With Eddie and his buddies pushing Jamie reluctantly went onto the floor. The music played and the groom tossed the garter out amongst the bachelors. It landed instead of being caught, right on Jamie's head!

Eddie burst out in laughter when she saw Jamie holding the garter in his hand. His face was priceless. His Irish cheeks were bright red and his mouth agape. Eddie and Kara had to lean on each other to stay upright.

"He's so not the type of guy to do this," Kara laughed as Jamie was whisked toward the chair where the bride's cousin sat. The men were chanting, "Reagan, Reagan!" Jamie was five shades of red.

Jamie tried his best to resist it, he didn't want to get up close and personal with anyone but Eddie. When he turned to see her reaction though, she was laughing at him. "Go Reagan!" she encouraged and shook her breasts a little bit.

Jamie let himself get caught up in the moment, perhaps seeing this was a turn on for Eddie. When he knelt down to offer the garter, the young lady that caught the bouquet stretched her long leg over Jamie's shoulder so he could work the delicate lace up her thigh. She was making eyes at him all evening, watching his every move. Jamie had a clear view of her undies and turned even redder.

"He'll stop traffic if we put him on the street," Eddie laughed. "Poor thing, we should put him out of his misery."

"No, it's half the fun watching him suffer," Kara laughed. "He does it so well…"

Jamie was fun to watch in situations like this, he was so strict and by the book that having to loosen up this much, this fast, without the benefit of liquor was difficult for him, but so much fun to watch.

While Jamie concentrated on the task at hand, and getting that over with as quickly as he could, Eddie couldn't help but amp it up. She slipped off the sidelines admist the hooting and hollering going on to the coat closet behind the bar. She had waited all night for this moment, and now it was here.

She was going to have Jamie all to herself tonight. She didn't care about Camille, she didn't matter, this night was going to be about them, her and Jamie, no one else. Tonight she was going to make him forget Camille. They were together and that was mostly her doing, if that made Jamie happy, she'd live with it, but tonight she was going to be sure he knew she could get his attention on her when she wanted to.

Jamie just finished securing the garter when he looked to see Eddie no longer on the sidelines laughing. She was gone! Had he taken it too far? Had he lost her again as careful as he had been?

Just as he was walking over to Kara, ready to panic, his phone beeped. It was Eddie, "Meet me in the coat closet behind the bar. I have a surprise for you."

Jamie smiled, meeting her in the closet could only mean one thing…and he was more than happy to oblige that desire.


	85. Chapter 85

Chapter Eighty Five

The entire interior of the closet was dark. Jamie could smell Eddie's perfume, but couldn't see her, not even her outline. Eddie moved when she heard Jamie enter and reached for him. Jamie felt Eddie's hand go to his arm as it had so many times before. Her touch was always welcomed, it always made him feel special, feel strong, and mostly feel like someone cared for him and about him. The entire closet was dark, he couldn't see her shape or even her eyes and she couldn't see his either. Jamie reached out and brought this hand up to touch Eddie's cheek. That simple touch, the movement of a calloused thumb across silky smooth skin was Jamie's undoing. He'd felt the gravitational pull that had always brought him to Eddie increase to an intensity so rich he couldn't fight it off. He didn't want to.

Eddie reflexively licked her lips. She had felt men stare at her that way before, but never like this. Jamie's gaze penetrated the darkness, she felt he could see her even though she couldn't see her own hand in front of her face.

With a long, deep breath he ran his hand down her cheek and his thumb across her lips. She kissed the pad of his finger, pressed her cheek against his calloused palm, and parted her lips in silent invitation.

Jamie's hands moved over her. There were no words for this moment, the sensation of their lips touching, need spilling out of every pore of their bodies. His arms shot out as if they had just been released from some invisible restraint. He pulled Eddie against him, practically crushing her body against his with such an intensity for a moment she believed Jamie wanted to totally possess here. That was fine by her, she missed his strong touch and warm, loving body. She could see him in her mind's eye even though the darkness kept her from looking at him. She knew he was holding her gaze even without the benefit of sight.

He gentled a moment later as his finger traced her chin before lifting it to meet the descending force of his mouth, crushing her lips beneath his before she had a chance to breathe.

With their lips and bodies entwined Jamie turned and began to steer Eddie toward the floor. The entire time he did not loosen his hold or lift his mouth from hers for more than a moment. He had wanted to do this for so long, he thought they'd lost this forever.

The sheer passion and physical sensation along with fierce emotion crashed through Eddie in huge, all-consuming waves. Whimpering she welcomed Jamie's attentions as his lips moved over hers with urgent intensity, like a drowning man clinging to oxygen.

She moved slightly to hold him closer, wanting to soothe the inner turmoil she felt in his kiss. It was important she handled this exactly right and let him know she wanted him, that she understood his needs and returned them. Eddie uncurled her fingers that had been knotted behind Jamie's neck and glided them up his shirt front to rest on his pounding heart. "Jamie," she murmured against his lips, her tone encouraging and dripping with passion. "Oh Jamie…Oh…"

The darkness seemed to enhance the experience, not being able to see and fall back on the usual platitudes was intensely rewarding.

A hard shudder wracked through Jamie's body when Eddie moaned his name and his grip relaxed further. He moved his hand up and down her spine, caressing her through her dress, trying to smooth away any hurt, loneliness, or doubt as if it was a wrinkle in the material. He urged her closer to him and gentled his kiss, his lips circling hers, lingering after each tiny brush, waiting for hers to part. Eddie had set this in motion, he knew she wanted it, wanted him, but he had to be sure that she understood the strength and depth of his commitment to her. She was his one and only, he had to make her feel it.

Eddie understood his silent request. She opened her lips and let him slide his tongue between them to mate with hers. Jamie's mouth possessed Eddie's with hunger, stroking every surface, awakening nerves and sensations she had though she may never get to feel again. A small groan vibrated from Jamie's chest when Eddie pressed herself closer to his body. Jamie's hands moved down to cup her buttocks and in one smooth motion he lifted her, fitting her to him, his manhood pressing into her as deeply as his clothing would allow.

The pleasure of Jamie's touch made Eddie weak. Had he not been holding her, Eddie knew she would have collapsed, her limbs turned weak from the sensation, unable to function without his strength. Jamie sensed her need and held her even tighter as he moved his hands toward the comb in her hair working it out of the style, so he could run his hands through her hair.

"Ouch," Eddie winced when the darkness caused him to pull some of her hair. Jamie's hand let the comb go, it fell to the floor with a thud!

"Don't Once the comb was safe, **Jamie turned back to the task at hand, lowering himself to the floor and burying himself in Eddie's hair.** move…" Eddie gasped. "We have to find it, I can't…that's…"

"I'll find it…" Jamie promised and gently lowered Eddie to the floor, his hands patting to locate the prized silver creation. He found it quickly and placed it in on the only shelf he could detect so they could find it again and move about without fear of it breaking. Once the comb was safe, Jamie turned back to the task at hand, lowering himself to the floor and burying himself in Eddie's hair.

The comb rescued, Jamie turned back to the task at hand, burying himself in Eddie's hair. The long blond mane wrapped around him, the silkiness of her hair alone was driving him wild. He didn't remember ever wanting anything as much as to be in her arms, with her entire body surrendering to his. Still he was careful, he didn't want to push her beyond the limit of her own desire, though by the way she clung to him he didn't think he could.

Jamie leaned over to place tiny kisses on her eyelids, lips, nose, and each soft cheek. He wanted her to know he cared for her, that he didn't want to use her body, he wanted to be gentle, but mostly he wanted for both of them to be happy.

Eddie could sense from him, even in the darkness, a timeless undying love, a love for her long hidden and buried by his own sense of morality. Without hesitation he was about to throw that morality to the wind.

Jamie kissed her again, his hands making short work of removing her dress and unfastening her matching lace bra. Her small hand slid up his chest and worked his shirt off from the shoulders instead of the hem. He wasn't wearing an undershirt; thus, Eddie was pleasantly rewarded when her work revealed a soft mass of silky hair across his chest, the sensation enhanced by only being able to see with her hands. She rubbed her cheek against it, and Jamie let out a pleasured moan and settled his body against hers. Eddie moved upward as instinctually as she had when their flesh met for the first time.

Eddie couldn't form a coherent though, so intense were the physical sensations coursing through her body. She clutched at Jamie's arms – desperate to please him and not knowing how. She was overcome, and common sense seemed to have left her.

Eddie begged Jamie with her body, she couldn't rely on visual cues and words evaded her in the intensity of their reunion.

Once again Jamie began his gentle assault on her body, his large hands moving to touch her breasts through the silk of her bra. Eddie cried out in pleasure at the feel of his hands as he discarded her lacy undergarment to bear her breasts to his touch. He lowered his mouth to take the tiny bud in and sucked and nipped at it gently, making Eddie moan his name in pleasure. It came out in a sob, for she was lost in his arms, until he stopped.

Eddie gave a strong cry, "Please don't stop!" She felt him gently parting her legs, sliding a finger into her past her feminine lips. Her legs fell open, he wanted access, he wanted her to welcome him, and she did.

Eddie pulled her knees back and opened her legs, so Jamie could settle between them. As she did so she realized she was no longer wearing panties. She didn't know when he had removed them but was grateful for the true lack of barriers between their bodies.

Jamie worked his shorts down with Eddie's assistance intermittently kissing and touching lightly until he too was fully exposed. She fit him perfectly, like a custom-made glove, wrapping around him, tight and secure. He had never felt this way before; safe, sheltered…It was a new experience. It pleased Jamie that Eddie seemed to be getting some pleasure from this endeavor as well as him. She strained her hips eagerly, stretching to accommodate him. It had been a while for both of them, and neither expected the level of intensity their coupling reached.

Jamie moved inside of Eddie and she in turn matched his rhythm until he reached the edge and emptied his essence into her body. The warmth of Jamie's life force filling her was what Eddie needed to be pushed over the edge to intense orgasm. She cried out as waves of pleasure washed over her body like the surf on the sand.

Jamie snuggled Eddie to him in the aftermath of their love making. Jamie's lips searched for the side of her head, "I can't believe we did this, I've miss you so much."

"Me too," Eddie sighed and nuzzled to him. "I've dreamt of this, of your arms around me, of you holding me tight to your chest, feeling safe."

Jamie's hand absently stroked Eddie's arm. "I'm always here to make you feel safe, we have a special thing, still undefined, but special. I don't want to let you go, I just want to…"

"I know, I know," Eddie sighed. "I was bound and determined tonight, I wanted to show you…"

Jamie turned and took her lips, "You showed me, you showed me everything. So beautiful…"

"How can you say that? You can't even see me…" Eddie laughed.

"I always see you, my mind hasn't forgotten you, it's in my mind and my heart, I'll always see you as you were that first time, the precious time when I first held you and learned your body. That you like to be held so tight, that your left ear is more sensitive than your right one…" Jamie nibbled at her left ear and Eddie shuddered. He laughed, "You see?"

They laid in one another's arms a short time longer then Jamie stretched, "We better straighten up our clothes and get back out there before anyone starts to miss us."

"Not yet…sit up and give me your foot…the one that hurts." Eddie wanted to do this all night

Jamie placed his sore leg in her lap and she found the tendons and muscles that were bothering him. She cupped the foot in her palms and held on until she felt the skin warm, then her fingers gently kneaded the sole up into the heel. "How's that? Feel okay?"

"Feels like heaven,' Jamie sighed. "Your hands…"

"You need to get this looked at, taken care of before you hurt it on the job end up on the DL."

Jamie smiled at her concern, "I'll be okay, just a lot of years on the beat…and no heels to lift me…"

Eddie placed a gentle kiss on top of Jamie's foot, "There now we better get back. One more dance if you can, then we'll sit the rest of the night."

Jamie smiled and helped Eddie search for her clothes in the dark. She carefully fixed her bra and slid back into her dress. Jamie zipped her up before fixing his shirt and pants. Jamie zipped her up before fixing his shirt and pants. "Where's my comb?"

"Here," Jamie replied. "Do you need help?"

"No, I'm blind in here, I'll just to have to feel for it," Eddie laughed as she worked to put her hair up into the style Anita so carefully crafted earlier that day. "It'll have to do."

Jamie opened the door to the coat closet for Eddie and led her out, they both stopped as their eyes adjusted to the light. They didn't see Regetti coming back inside from having a smoke, but he saw them. He began to chuckle at Jamie's wrinkled and crooked shirt and Eddie's totally destroyed hairdo. "I knew it…I knew you two…"

"Alex, if you say a word," Jamie threatened.

"No worries," Regetti laughed. "I can use the blackmail material on my Sergeant. Have fun, I'll keep the hallway clear."

Jamie and Eddie took advantage, stealing a few more kisses before returning to the still hopping party. Jamie chose to share one-night cap with Eddie, a half a glass of champagne. She made the toast, "To us and finding our way in the dark."

"To us," Jamie echoed and tipped the glass to hers. "Do you have your driver? It's very late and I want to see you home."

"I don't," Eddie replied. "I was hoping you'd make that offer. It is very late, and the moon is shining. Shall we take a slow walk?"

Eddie put her arm through Jamie's and they said their goodbyes before leaving the wedding. Jamie opened the door for Eddie then they got in himself. "Directly home?"

Eddie nodded, "Tom's not there, we can use the big driveway, unless you need to get back."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jamie replied with a wry smile.

Jamie drove the long quiet roads with Eddie lying her head on his shoulder. She dozed off on his arm, content in the closeness. Jamie took the slow road wanting as much time as he could get.

"Can I text you tomorrow?" Jamie asked with a smile.

Eddie took a breath, "A text is ok, I need to take it slow Jamie, but I do not regret tonight. Not at all."

Jamie tipped Eddie's chin and took her lips in a deep kiss, tongues slightly touching, lips captured in desire and heat. Eddie pulled back smiling.


	86. Chapter 86

Chapter Eighty Six

"Okay, so spill," Haley told Eddie was they sat together the next morning for tea and Danish. "How was the wedding? Did our plan work?"

Eddie had invited Haley to the wedding as her plus one, but after talking more they had devised a plan specifically to get Jamie to focus on Eddie and forget all about Camille. "Did it work? That dress was killer."

"Thanks," Eddie smiled'. "And yes, the plan worked perfectly. I got there after him and made my entrance. Then he got me a drink, he barely touched a drop of liquor, just a little champagne. He's still angry at himself for Spencer."

"Well, he should be," Haley replied. "But in his defense, Spencer can make you do things that you do not realize you are about to do. I have firsthand knowledge of that, Chica…"

Eddie smiled, she remembered how Haley's date with Jamie turned into a date with Spencer. The first kiss she and Jamie ever shared. Haley's night wasn't so great, she got stuck with handsy Spencer and regretted that night for a while.

"After that, he said he didn't want to dance, that his foot hurt, and he has a bad arch on one of his feet, so I didn't want him to push to dance. So, I got up with some of the girls and danced, he kept looking at me, the I had to improvise on the sexy talking cause he wasn't dancing. I was sexting him."

"You go girl!" Haley praised. "Look at you, getting frisky!"

Eddie smiled, "Well, I had to get it worked out, I'm sick of that girl, time to go."

Haley laughed, "And do you think your put her out to pasture last night?"

"Well, I did the sexting, then fate intervened, and this drunk guy starts to hit on me and dance with me, before I could speak up, there's Jamie taking me away, spinning me around the dance floor. Our song came on, it was magical how that happened. It was…I felt so safe in his arms, I felt like I belonged there. I don't feel like that with Tom, I don't feel like that anywhere, Haley. I screwed up, pushing him to move on. Now I have to win back what I already had."

"He treated you pretty badly, but yeah, pushing him to move on might not have been your finest hour," Haley observed.

Eddie acknowledged that, "After he caught the garter, which was fate again, I made my move. We made love, and I mean passionate love in the coat closet, no sight, just hands and whispers. I felt so treasured, I felt worshipped, I have never felt…I think we turned the corner, I won't be surprised if he's breaking up with Camille now. I told him I want to go slow, but by the time we get to Montana I think we'll be okay again, we'll have our life back, our hope. We'll make our family."

Haley smiled at her friend's conviction, "Well, here is too a successful conspiracy then. Glad to be of service. You want to shop on Madison today?"

"I can't, Anita has a baby shower and I have April, Madison is not a place for a baby, but come over after and we'll have dinner. Andre will take you around and take you to your flight."

Haley agreed it sounded like a plan and finished up her breakfast before heading out.

Haley was a bonafide shop-a-holic, so her short trip turned into a long one. It was after four already and she hadn't headed back to Manhasset. She thought about changing her flight, but she still had plenty of time, the driver was due in an hour.

She paused outside one of the many eateries along the avenue and stepped into the pleasantly decorated café to grab a quick salad, she shopped till she dropped and was hungry. She took a seat in the front of the café and ordered her cucumber water and salad.

Haley reviewed her purchases while she waited, she people watched, she looked at the other customers, she liked to dine alone on occasion. While she sat here she could swear she heard a voice she could swear was Jamie Reagan. There was female laughter following the sound of his voice, Haley had to get up and check this out.

She made like she was going to the bathroom to get a good look. There was visual confirmation a minute later, Jamie Reagan with a very pretty brunette across from him. They were both smiling at one point, the brunette nudged Jamie in the arm, playfully. Haley felt sick, Eddie was so excited, so happy that things were getting better. How did she tell her about this?

Part of her wanted to march up to that table and slap him across his face, but the other half said that she should wait and speak to Eddie. They were assuming he broke up his girlfriend, he never said he would, he didn't make the promise. Still, this would hurt her friend badly. Haley was glad she was going to be there for her.

She sat down and tried to finish the salad and think about how she was going to talk to Eddie. This had to stop, her getting her hopes up and having them dashed by men. Even her husband…it just wasn't

fair.

"I did have a really good time," Jamie told Erin as they caught up over a meal at one of their favorite restaurants. "I had the most fun I've had in a long time."

"I'm so glad of that, Jamie," Erin replied. "It's nice to see you smiling. You're heading up to Montana again, soon right? Those trips always do great for you."

"Yes, I'm going this year and a few others from the area too, so we'll do pool and darts and a few other games. Danny and Linda are going to keep Max and work on his therapy."

Erin's heart melted at the mention of her little nephew, "You're doing great as a father, Jamie. Mom would be proud of you both."

Jamie smiled, "Thanks Erin, that means a lot to me."

When the driver came to pick Haley up 45 minutes later, Jamie and Erin were still talking. She got into the car and thought all the way back to Manhasset how to speak to Eddie about this. When Haley walked in with her bags, she smiled. Eddie was playing on the floor with April smiling and laughing. Haley hated to have to shatter that.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eddie asked at the expression on Haley's face.

"Eddie I'm so sorry," Haley sighed. "I don't even know if I should tell you, but I saw Jamie today."

"Oh, did he remember you?" Eddie asked.

"No," Haley replied. "He didn't see me. He was busy having late lunch or early dinner with a really pretty brunette and they…they were having a good time. I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you Eddie."

Eddie felt her heart plummet. She had been riding high all day thinking that she and Jamie were on the right track now. It didn't make any sense, they had such a fabulous night, they had connected again, he held her so close and tight, like he wanted her to be a part of him. He even drove her home and gave her the most beautiful kiss…Eddie bit her lip hard.

"Say something, Eddie," Haley prompted. "Are you okay? I know that's stupid but…"

"Yeah, yeah, I am fine," Eddie sighed, her resignation now the most prominent feeling. She buried the hurt and the anger for now, she'd do that part later. "I just hoped he broke up with her, we didn't know."

"I know," Haley replied. "I know how much you want that, how much you love him. Maybe there's still a chance, maybe…"

"No, we saved the friendship, we saved the partnership and that bond and if I keep pushing I'll lose that too. When we first had Montana, it was one week a year and emergencies, and it got bigger from there. I'm okay with things like they are, I love Jamie and I intend to have all the time I can with him. He deserves to be happy, however that is, and he was definitely happy last night. I pushed him, I pushed him into her arms, now I have to live with the consequences."

Haley moved and hugged Eddie tight, "And you can, you need to be patient, that's all."

Eddie accepted the hug, she needed that big time. She had been so hopeful. She could decide that she would never hope again or trust again, but that was past. She had a baby girl and good friends, including Jamie. Their friendship was intact, it was important, and it was there. She would cling to that and build on it. The way to get Camille out was not to push Jamie further in.

"Hey, Max, how you doing little man?" Jamie asked as he saw his son that night playing with Frank.

"Sing," Max told him. "EEEE…"

Jamie smiled, 'You have a lesson on Tuesday and Eddie is going to be so proud of you." Jamie picked the boy up for hugs and tickles.

Max giggled and kicked his legs up and down. Jamie settled down and started to eat with Frank. "Things are going great with Eddie," Jamie smiled. "Thanks for watching him last night so I could go to that wedding. It…we found each other again, we were laughing and smiling."

"I'm glad you are happy again son," Frank smiled. "You deserve it.' Frank loved to see his son smiling and happy. "I'm going to the den, so please join me when you put him down."

Jamie nodded and pulled out his phone to text Eddie like they planned. The text was simple, "Thinking of you and the wonderful time we shared last night. See you Tuesday?"

Eddie sent a smiley face, and nothing more.

Eddie called Kara to make sure Jamie was at work before she went to the house to give Max his lesson. The little one toddled over to her in his walker and blew the pitch pipe. Eddie smiled, "You want to sing? Okay, but let's have our lunch with Pop first."

"Kay kay," Max babbled and went to the kitchen. Eddie put him and April in the chairs and dished out some cut up, cold turkey and two baby cookies each. Henry wanted to ask Eddie about her brief responses to Jamie's text messages the last few days. Jamie was upset she wasn't being more forthcoming, they had such a beautiful night, it made no sense that she had gone quiet now.

Henry didn't' want to ruin this for the baby though he didn't want to make the problem worse. He chose small talk instead. "She's getting so big and looks more like you every day."

Eddie smiled, "She is a good girl, aren't you? Tom wants to have her tested, but I think she's too young, She's smart but she is very little, she needs to develop a personality before we hone her too much intellectually."

"That's what we did with Jamie," Henry replied. "He could do all his numbers and such very young too, when he was two he was reading Joe's books, but we let him grow and he turned out well I think. And he's raising Max well."

"Jamie is a wonderful father," Eddie agreed. "And a very good friend." She left it there. She knew she'd have to text him more than a smiley face eventually, she just didn't want her hurt to seep out and ruin the friendship they were trying to rebuild. Tonight, when he text her, she would reply with the kissing emoji, a step up.

Eddie walked Max to the piano, the little boy was regaining a lot of his tone and posture in his PT, "I'm so proud of you Max. Give kisses."

Max gave Eddie a wet little kiss before the lesson began.

Eddie was long gone before Jamie got home from his tour. Max was on the floor playing when he got home. "Did she come?" Jamie asked Henry.

"Yeah, she came same as always," Henry replied. "But she was a little sad again while she was here."

Jamie dropped into a chair, "I don't get it Pop. We had a good time at the wedding, I took her home, she let me kiss her goodnight, I thought we were back on track again, I thought we had really come around and turned a corner. I did…"

"I know, Kiddo, but women are funny that way," Henry replied. "Keep trying, your mistake before was giving up. She's not telling you to go away, she's not even really ignoring you, she's just a little pensive. That goes away eventually, where her down with your persistence."

"That what you did with grandma?" Jamie asked, he remembered Henry telling stories of her temper and her anger with him when he did something wrong. Then even worse, the long waiting period until he was totally forgiven.

"You bet,' Henry replied. "I kept right on going until she told me to go away, she never did either, because she loved me, she was mad at me, but she loved me."

Jamie took the advice to heart and text Eddie that night, "I wish you'd text me back some words. I know you are okay because you came for Max, but I'm worried if we are. I had a wonderful time with you, I want to talk to you and see you. Can we please?"

Jamie waited about ten minutes before he got a reply, two words, "In Montana."

Jamie did his best to accept that boundary. He wanted to connect, Montana was over a month away, but he had to respect Eddie's feelings. She had wanted that connection but there were a lot of hurt feelings on both side. She had slept with Tom when she promised not to, he'd been dating Camille after blowing off her daughter's birthday and getting drunk. One night of bliss was not enough to make up for all of that, they'd need the bonding exercises in Montana to really push them over. If Eddie needed distance right now, he'd give it to her. He loved her that much.


	87. Chapter 87

Chapter Eighty Seven

As February turned to March, Eddie continued to see Max three times a week, sometimes three days in a row if it meant Jamie was working. She didn't' want to hurt the little boy, he loved their time and so did she. Since she gave the lessons at the family home, Max did not cry when she left, instead he stood with a bright smile and waved bye bye to her and April. It warmed Eddie's heart.

In her head, Eddie began to prepare for Montana. She could tell Jamie had no idea that Haley had seen him with Camille, or why she was again keeping him at arm's length. She would address that and many other things on the trip. If that meant it was their last Montana…she would grieve that and move on. If that meant something else, it was not really in their hands, it was in fate's hands now what became of them.

Jamie was working on the 1st of March with Kara, Regetti, and two rookie officers when a bank alarm brought every available hand of the 12th precinct to its aid. Jamie directed the operation, leading his team into the back of the bank. It would have gone off like clockwork too, except one of the rookies spooked at the last minute.

Jamie tried to get her to move but it was too late. The robbers opened fire, hitting three civilians, killing the rookie, and clipping Kara in the right shoulder, left calf, and under the lower portion of her vest before being taken out by Regetti. "10-13, 10-13,' Jamie called. "12 Sergeant, requesting all units to this location, six buses to this location. Two DOA, four wounded. Officer down, repeat Officer down."

"Thanks Moran," Eddie smiled as she took the evidence bag and interview statements from one of the officers working at her house. She worked only three days a week, unless on a big case, allowing her to accommodate Max and April. She leaned back, hair up in a twist, navy blue suit adorned with white cuffs and Jamie's cameo on the lapel, to read the case file when the notice came over they had a shooting with casualties. Those were always rough, Eddie remembered every 10-13 she responded to with Jamie. His brother Joe was a 10-13 and his partner Vinny. Jamie himself was grazed in that shooting, a matter of inches between a minor injury and a fatal wound.

"Janko, that shooting," Moran called to her. He knew her ties to the 12th ran deep, her first house, her dear friends. "Confines of the 12th and at least two cops are dead."

Eddie dropped the file and grabbed her phone, no text from Jamie. He had text her at least twice every day, nothing today. She text him, "Are you okay?" and waited on edge for an answer.

When an answer didn't come she tried Kara, also nothing. They were likely bogged down in the aftermath and couldn't get back to her, still she worried. Finally, a half hour after the initial alert she got a text from Danny, "St. Vic's." That was all it said.

"I've got to go," Eddie jumped up. "That's shooting, I have to get to the hospital. I have to go."

Eddie's fingers flew as she text Tom, "Home late. Emergency, go home for April."

She didn't' wait for his reply, Tom liked his privacy, he liked his time with Sue, but he also was a responsible father and would go home to their daughter when asked. Eddie got in her car and sped with her siren to the hospital. If Danny was texting her, it only meant Jamie, her Jamie was dead or worse, maybe dying slowly and in pain, without her by his side. She had to get there and hold him, even if it was the very last time she would do it.

The ER was loaded with officers from the 12th and 15th precincts, the two had overlapped on the case and now were showing support for their fellow officers. Eddie's eyes searched the crowd for Jamie, for Kara, she didn't find either one. If Jamie were hit, Kara would stay with him, she would stay and help him hold on for her to arrive, she was that kind of friend. Finally, she found Linda and rushed over to her. "How's Jamie? Where is he?"

"Good thing you're here, he's in back with Danny, I'll show you the way."

Eddie's heart was pounding in her chest. This was her Jamie, she'd made it though, she made it to his side. Eddie rounded the corner where Linda directed her and saw Jamie sitting there on the gurney, covered in blood. It didn't register at first that he was sitting up, that he wasn't wounded, or if he was, then not badly. "My God!" Eddie gasped running toward him. "Jamie, my God…"

It didn't matter to Eddie that Jamie appeared fine, all that mattered was her urge to hold him. She ignored Danny and Linda's gaze, she didn't care that other officers were standing there, she wrapped her arms around him holding on tight, "Thank God. Thank you, God," she whispered and rocked.

Jamie's blood-stained hands rubbed Eddie's back before they broke apart. "I'm okay, Eddie, it's not me. I wasn't hit."

Then…she pointed at the blood. "It's Kara"

Jamie's hands held Eddie firmly. "It's Kara's blood, she's in surgery, she was hit three times one got up under the vest. I held onto her until the bus came."

"Likely or unlikely?" Eddie asked trying to keep the fear and the relief out of her voice.

"Likely," Jamie said softly. He was focused on Eddie, on her reaction to her friend being shot. He wanted to be calm and steady for her, to provide her with some assurance. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I tried my best to…"

"I know you did," Eddie replied. She didn't want to hear that her best friend in the world next to Jamie might die, she was angry with herself for feeling some weight off her heart that Jamie was alive and unhurt. Still, there was something wrong with him. He wasn't himself.

"We're having a hard time getting in touch with her husband" Danny spoke up. "Jamie tried a few times and he's not able to reach him."

"I'll try, uh, what do I tell him?" Eddie was fighting back the tears, trying to keep her head. There was a time to lose control.

"Uh, she was shot three times, and is in surgery and to come down, don't give him too much now," Linda advised. "If you just get him on the line I'll talk to him."

Eddie stepped aside with Linda to try to get a hold of Matt. "I have to do that death notification for Officer Riley's family but…"

"I'll do it," a strong firm voice spoke up. "She was my officer and it's my responsibility. You all are."

Jamie looked up to see Frank standing in the doorway. "You okay?"

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, I'm good. Worried about my friends of course, Regetti's been a cop ten years, his first kill. I wanted to wait until Matt Walsh showed up but…"

"You handled the wounded and I'll handle the dead," Frank advised. "I can empathize with that family a little bit, you set a good example. I know you feel sick and shaky, but you have to hold it for now okay?"

Jamie nodded, "I have to, Kara Walsh is Eddie's best friend and that's not looking good at all. She'll need me, so will Alex."

Eddie returned and accepted a quick one arm hug from Frank. "Matt is in DC but he's on his way. He gave me permission to handle Kara's medical affairs, he's finishing the papers with Linda on the phone now. What do we know?"

"She's lost a lot of blood," Jamie replied. "The bullet hit the liver, it's…bad, it's very bad."

Eddie took a breath, "Well, we give her the best chance we can. That's all we can do."

Frank admired this young woman, he saw her and Jamie unconsciously grasp hands. Eddie didn't like how clammy her's felt, "Can you get up and walk with me? I can't just stand…"

Danny wasn't sure, the doctor hadn't cleared Jamie yet, but he nodded. "We'll go up to the OR floor and wait. The doc needs me again he can find me. Danny, tell Regetti I'm waiting on Kara, if he needs. Paperwork can wait, people are important. Sorry, Commissioner."

"At your level, son, that's the right call, I'll come check on things in a while." Frank steeled himself to go and speak to his late officer's parents while Jamie and Eddie, arm in arm headed upstairs to wait.

Jamie brought Eddie a cup of tea and settled on the couch next to her. "How you holding up?" he asked softly.

"I'm…okay, I'm scared but this is a great hospital and…" Eddie shook her head. 'Who the Hell am I kidding? That's Kara in there. She's got two kids, she's my dearest friend, she is my closest female friend and she might die."

Jamie put his arm around Eddie, "I feel kind of bad saying this but I'm glad that if we lost a cop today it wasn't Kara. She's so tough and strong and if anyone can do this it's her. Still, to have to tell you that we…to see you in that kind of pain."

Eddie took a breath, he cared about her pain? If he did, then he wouldn't have hurt her again. He kept promising to stop. Now was not the time for that, now was the time to concentrate on Kara and hoping for her survival.

Eddie sipped the tea, "Tom's home with April, who's with Max?"

"Pop," Jamie replied. "Don't worry about Max, he's okay. He's really doing so well with you to help him and the physical therapist said he should be running like any two-year-old by his birthday in June."

"That's good to hear, we've spent way too much time in hospitals lately," Eddie sighed. "I'm so tired of that, I'm tired of so many things."

Jamie hated to hear the pain in her voice, "I know…" He pulled her closer. "Just put your head on my shoulder, rest and relax. We'll hear something soon I'm sure."

Eddie wanted to accept his comfort so badly, now was an emergency, she reasons and did cuddle up to him. They sat there for hours, all the while she could feel him shaking against her body, a light tremor she'd felt before when cops had been shot or killed.

"It's okay," Eddie soothed. "It's okay, Jamie…That rookie, it wasn't your fault. I'm sure you did all you could for her and Kara both. If that was the last time Kara was going to be conscious, she had you to hold her and comfort her, that's a lot to give someone Jamie."

He nodded, "That kid was on the job one day, one day and she's already gone. That's just plain not fair."

Eddie nodded, "I know it's not, and your father is down with her family soothing them and trying to ease the pain, he's got a unique empathy for that."

"I hate that he does, I miss Joe a lot at a time like this, times when it's stressful. I really miss him a lot."

Eddie looked up and touched Jamie's cheek gently, "I know. I hoped that I could ease that for you sometime, you know. That I could be for you what he was. I miss you so much, not just times like this either. I miss what we shared…"

Jamie opened his mouth to address that sentiment when the doctor finally emerged, "Kara Walsh…anyone for Kara Walsh?"

Jamie held Eddie tighter, they stood up and she moved closer to him, "I'm Eddie Janko, I'm her next of kin while her husband is in transit. How is she?"

"Let's sit down…"

The news was not good. They were allowed to see Kara for only a few minutes but that was enough for Eddie. The machines, the tubes, the wires, it was all enough for her, to shake her to her core.

Jamie touched their friend's hand, it was warm even with her body so still. "We're here, Kara. Matt's on his way. I'm here to take care of Eddie, don't you worry."

Eddie placed a kiss on her friend's cheek before the doctor ushered them out for Kara to be moved and settled in her room.

 **A/N: This Monday, February 12th, there will be a bonus chapter in honor of Valentine's Day.**


	88. Chapter 88

Chapter Eighty Eight

Without speaking, Jamie and Eddie made their way to the chapel to say a prayer for their friend and to sit together in private. Jamie lit a candle then sat with Eddie, simply holding her in his strong arms. Eddie began to cry as Jamie rocked her. She was scared, seeing Kara that way made their profession all too real. Jamie brought his hand up to stroke her hair, "Ssh…ssh. I'm here, I'm here I've got you. She's going to be okay, they are helping her and she's going to be okay."

Eddie pulled back, tears streaking her make-up and reddening her eyes. "That's not the only reason I' m upset, yes, I'm scared for Kara but I'm so glad it wasn't you. I'm just so glad it wasn't you. I love you so much and I can't bear the thought of…"

Jamie cupped her cheek, but Eddie pressed on. She had to tell him how she felt, Camille be damned, everything be damned. He could be on life support now, and if he was that would gut her beyond anything she ever felt before. "I feel like the worst friend, that I'm relieved it wasn't you when it was her. I'm sick she got hurt…I feel so useless here. I can't even hope…"

Jamie's arms tightened, "You are not useless, and it is not wrong to feel that way. I love you and the last thing I wanted to do was to tell you Kara was gone. To think that could still happen, that we'd suffer such a loss…"

Eddie wiped her eyes, "If that does happen Jamie, if it happens and we lose her, I need you to promise me I can' count on you to be there. I know Tom would, but I need you, you're the man I love, my soulmate and I will need you."

Jamie was confused, he wanted to be that for her, he had been reaching out to be that for her, but she was pulling back and keeping him at arm's length. He thought the wedding was a new beginning but since then, Jamie bit his lip and pushed the issue. "Of course, I'll be there for you Eddie, I wanted to resume that part of our lives for a long time now. I thought the wedding was going to mean that change, but you pulled away and cut me off again. Why did you do that, Eddie?"

Eddie met Jamie's eyes, he was confused and a little hurt, she could hear it in his voice. She wanted to get angry at him again, challenge him, but she remembered words from Anita, Henry, and most of all Kara and was honest with him. "Because of Camille," she replied. "I want nothing more than you to be happy, Jamie and when Haley saw you with Camille, talking and laughing, that's when you are happy, that's how you are happy. I'm just sorry it's not me anymore."

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Jamie began to laugh. Eddie thought he was still with Camille.

"It's not funny!" Eddie snapped. "I know I pushed you into her arms, I know that I did, but it's not funny, it still hurts so badly…"

"It's not funny that you hurt,' Jamie pulled her close and kissed her head. "It's funny you think that after all we've been through with Max and the wedding that I'm still with her. I broke up with Camille the day Danny got his first pedicure. That night, it was done. You promised me Montana, and that was good enough for me if that was all you could give after what I had done."

Eddie looked up, "You really broke up with her?" He voice was small and reminded him of how she sounded after Jake Singer, "All you eat Tuesday…" He loved that softness.

"Yes, I…I wasn't making her happy either. Certain…I'll come out and say it, I can't sleep with another woman besides you. You are the only one I can be with and you are the only one I want to be with." Jamie cupped her cheeks and kissed her deeply, all his love and passion coming through his lips. "I couldn't do that with her and that wasn't fair to you or to her. I was willing to do all I could to be with you, to have you in my life. I had to break up with her first."

Jamie was crying now too, "I love you so much, you mean the world to me, my life is you and Max and April, our family…"

Jamie sniffled a bit and dipped his head down, "When you said you were with Tom, it hurt so much, but I know I hurt you too."

"I did that because I was hurt when you brushed me off, you were putting me aside for everything else, I just wanted to feel loved and needed. You were taking me…"

"I know," Jamie crooned to her and held her even tighter. Her arms went around his back, holding him in close. "I took you for granted, and I am so sorry I did that and even more sorry I missed April's birthday. I do promise not to miss anymore big moments for you or the kids, I promise, and I promise not to drink like that again. I was covering up so much, I should have talked to you."

Eddie understood the masking, "That's some of Claudia doing that to you and I didn't help you when I yelled at you. I promise not to do that, to talk it out and work it out, no more impulses and no more Tom, we are each other's one and only. I promise you that now before God."

Jamie smiled, "I promise you that before God." Jamie bent his head and sealed their private vows. They had a lot more talking to do, they would do that here while they waited if he knew Eddie, but for this second, the promises they made by candlelight were sealed.

Jamie moved Eddie to lie in his arms and rest her body against his. It felt great to have the tension released and to hold her again without any barriers between then. Jamie dropped kisses on Eddie's hair, "I love you," he whispered softly. "I love you so."

"I love you, and our family," Eddie sighed. "I can't wait until Montana, we really need that time, don't we?"

"No,' Jamie whispered. "We don't need it, we talked things through already, but I do want it. I really do want it."

"Me too. What about Max? Is he recovered enough, I know he's not walking yet Can you leave him with your Dad and Pop?"

"I could, but I'm going to leave him with Danny and Linda, in case he needs something more than Pop and Dad can give him."

"That's a good idea," Eddie replied. "I thought…now we are here together again, Montana around the corner…I just hope that Kara pulls through. I need her to do that, Jamie."

"If I could make it happen for you, baby, I would," Jamie replied and kissed her hair. "I would, you know that I would."

"I do, if I could make this easier on you, the loss…"

The door of the chapel opened, and Frank stepped inside. Jamie and Eddie moved to sit up, but he shook his head. "As you were, I'm just here to offer a prayer for Officer Riley's family. Officer Walsh is resting comfortably, your prayers for her are working."

"I'm so glad," Jamie smiled and raised his eyebrow at Frank with a smile. He was holding Eddie in his arms, just where she belonged.

They were allowed to see Kara again a half hour later. Eddie sat by her friend's bedside, holding her hand. Jamie stood behind Eddie giving her his full support and offering as much peace as his love could provide.

"They said she was doing better," Eddie sighed. 'But she's not opening her eyes. Kara., I'm right here. Please open your eyes, tell me you're going to be okay."

Jamie slowly massaged Eddie's shoulders, "Oh wow, you are tense…" He rubbed his thumb along the inside of her neck applying pressure to release it. "It's okay to let go, to be sad. I know it's terrible to see her like this."

The hiss of the ventilator was the only sound in the room besides Jamie's voice. Resting comfortably was a relative term, it didn't mean she was going to be okay. "So, you know what happened? You'll be so proud of us, Kara," Eddie smiled. "Jamie and I worked it out and again you helped us. You helped, but you didn't have to go and get shot to do that."

Jamie smiled at Eddie, watching her talk to her friend. Kara was dying, the doctor implied that to them, but Eddie was pushing on as if she hadn't heard that dismal news. "So, Montana this year is going to be fabulous," Eddie gushed. "And you have to pull through because I'll need you to help me, Jamie and I are going to make our family. You have to keep me on task."

The ventilator hissed, and Kara stayed lifeless. Finally, the door opened, and Matt walked in. Jamie looked at the man, he was way too composed for his wife to be lying near death. If that was his Eddie on the bed, he would be beside himself.

"How is she?" he asked. "The doctor said a matter of a few hours…"

Eddie glared at him, "No, she's going to be fine. She's strong and she's fighting. Sit on the other side, hold her hand and let her feel you. She has to feel us all here with her."

Jamie admired Eddie's tenacity, always had, but in the wake of this, it truly showed. Jamie took a seat near Kara's feet and rubbed the bottom of her leg up and down softly. Eddie was focusing all her positive energy onto Kara, "Come on…I know you're here. I know you are."

Jamie was watching Matt, how calm and cool he was. That bothered him. Kara deserved real love in her life, she needed it just the way he did, the way Eddie did. Then he looked at Eddie, the intensity she had in her stance, in her voice as she talked to Kara. If nothing else reached their friend that would.

Eddie fell asleep at Kara's side. "If you want some time alone," Jamie suggested. "I'll see what I can do about getting her to take a break outside. They are very close…"

"It's all right," Matt replied. "It's fine that she's here, they are friends. Kara needs all of us. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to check in on the kids."

While Matt was checking, Jamie went to get Eddie some more tea and some green Jell-O, she loved how it felt in her mouth. Eddie took the opportunity to speak to her friend girl to girl. Eddie held Kara's hand to her cheek, "Okay, enough of this now. I know Matt is breaking your heart and I know that all my complaining about Jamie made it worse, but I love you and I need you to come back to me. You have two babies to fight for, you have a life to fight for, you are so important to so many people."

Nothing, Kara's only movement was the forced air of her vent. "You're breaking my heart, and I am not leaving until you wake up. I am not, and neither is Jamie we are here for you. We love you so. I know how hard it is to try to find something to hold onto when you're in pain. So, this is my promise to you and you know I keep my promises always. If you try again with Matt, and he fails you again, I will help you start over. I will help you find your soulmate, he's out there and we will go far and wide to find him. You deserve that Kara, you have helped me find my soulmate, I will find yours with you. That's my vow to you. A girlfriend's pact, it's unbreakable right?"

Eddie wiped away a few tears, she was scared to death that Kara would let go, she felt as long as they held onto her she would have a chance. "I'm not letting you go…you can't go, Kara."

Jamie stepped back in and handed Eddie the tea, "She won't with you pulling for her, she won't." Jamie rubbed Eddie's hair and back gently. "Matt's a piece of work huh?"

"She's been in marital hell as long as we have," Eddie sighed. "They were in therapy but, it's loveless. Kara deserves more, to know the love a soulmate, like I do. Matt sickens me."

Jamie agreed, "I don't' want this for you. I don't want you lying here near death one day with Tom on the phone in the hallway pretending to check on April. I don't want it, we have to stop it."

Eddie agreed, "I wish we didn't' have to hide it. Kara and Danny were our lifelines and part of me is worried without her…" Eddie stroked Kara's cheek. "Without her we would not be here, we would not have made it. I'm ready Jamie, I was ready before things went off track, but I am ready now. I'm ready to be done, I'm ready to tell him."

Jamie nodded, he had heard that before. "What about April? Do you still feel she is at risk from him or?"

"I think Tom has Sue, and he'd like us both, but as long as he has his soulmate he'll be fine. We'll tell him as soon as we get back from Montana, I don't want that stress on us there. I would be concerned then, so if it's okay, once we are home, I'm going to tell him, and we are going to make the family we keep promising ourselves we'll make."

Jamie smiled, "Hear that, Kara. You've helped set up in motion, you've help us find our way. We love you so much." Jamie rubbed her arm. "So, you have to fight, fight for us, fight for your babies, Kara. Fight."

The beep of the monitor told Jamie his words might have been received. Kara could hear them, she was going to fight for her life. Eddie picked up her hand, "That a girl, Kara. I'm here…we're here."

The monitor leveled off again, Eddie leaned back in her chair. "She heard us, I know she did."


	89. Chapter 89

Chapter Eighty Nine

Matt returned, "Any change?"

Eddie shook her head, "No, nothing." She was angry at him, he hurt Kara and maybe that's why she wasn't fighting back. When Jamie had hurt her and she felt so hopeless, if she took a bullet, she might not have fought back either. "She needs to know you love her. We'll step outside, tell her what you feel."

Eddie wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was likely this way because of their presence. Jamie and Eddie found the couch and sat down, each cuddling to the other one. "Is he a real ass or is it me?"

"Oh, he's an ass," Jamie confirmed. "But it's good to give them time. Maybe he's just emotionally constipated like Danny, he is the most loving man but if anyone besides close family or friends are around, he's totally disengaged."

"I don't think that is the issue here, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "I pray it is, but…"

Jamie kissed her head and snuggled her, he understood. "True, I couldn't have left you lying there like that even to check Max. I'd have asked Danny or whoever my back up person was to check on him. That was a cop out plain and simple."

Eddie had to agree, "You know if she's still like this…"

"I know, and I'd never ask you to go if she's still like this either, don't worry,' Jamie replied and kissed her head. "We do need to spend more time though, especially if we can't go to Montana this year. I think it is time to come clean with my family, even before that…I want you and April at my side on Sundays, next to me and Max, a real family. What do you say?"

Eddie smiled, "You think your sister and niece and nephews will…"

"If they don't, I'll handle it, but they will love you, I love you so much…they want me happy and you do that." Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie deeply. "It's my promise to you, part of the family, from this day forward."

Eddie returned his promise with a smile.

When Matt came out of his wife's room hours later, he found Jamie and Eddie sound asleep on the couch. There had been no change in his wife's condition, these two people felt like that didn't love his wife, that wasn't true. He did love Kara very much, but not the way he did in the past, not the way he should. He spent two hours holding her hand, talking to her, nothing seemed to get a result. These people didn't understand, he had to get things in order in case Kara died. They had two children, he couldn't focus on this, not solely.

Matt sat down with his head in his hands, he couldn't do this by himself. He relied on Kara. It was true they were thinking of divorce, the counseling was not working, things had fallen apart. Matt hoped that seeing her in the hospital bed would help him reconnect, but it didn't. Their marriage was truly over, but he took a vow, in sickness and in health, he would not shirk that duty.

The sound of blaring machines startled Matt, and jolted Jamie and Eddie from their sleep. "Oh God no!" Eddie ran to check on her friend. The doctors and nurses nearly knocked her over as the trauma team rushed in to help Kara.

Jamie was at Eddie's side, one eye fixed on Matt. The man they had been ragging on was shaking as he stood there. Jamie reached an arm out to him. People got upset for a lot of reasons, it could be he did still love his wife, it could be that he was guilty because he didn't.

Eddie shook, she didn't cry out, she didn't express the emotion, but Jamie could feel it in her. The next thirty minutes were excruciating.

"She started to bleed again, but we got it under control," the doctor informed them. "We have given her blood and she really needs to rest. I suggest you all go home and do the same."

Eddie was shaking her head, but Matt quickly said, "No, we are staying, we are staying with her. She needs us."

Eddie looked at him with delighted surprise, "Yes, she does. She has to feel us with her. We'll stay out here but…"

The doctor smiled, "With you three on her side, she's got the tools she needs. We'll check back on her in an hour. You can go in if you wish, but rest if important for all of you."

Jamie nodded, he was the only one that was thinking clearly, he led Eddie in, she took her place, Matt took his…Jamie bowed his head in prayer, asking God to deliver them all from the worry and to deliver Kara from her pain, to bring her back to them, where she belonged.

Kara was in the coma a full week. Eddie left a few times to see April, asking Anita once again to bring the baby close to the hospital so she could be near her mother. Max's piano lessons were cancelled, instead Henry brought him to the hotel and Eddie held and sang for both babies.

Jamie had to go back to work, as much as he wanted to keep constant vigil. He was in constant touch with Eddie, she was at the hospital when she wasn't working or with the kids. Kara had not gotten any better or worse since that night.

Matt was there more than he wasn't. He had no family to help with their sons, so the men and women of the 12th and Anita stepped in there too. The PD was a big family, anything they needed…it was the truth.

Eddie was with the children on the ninth day after Kara was shot. They were singing a new song, April like the motion, Max liked the tune. "Wheels on the bus go round and round…" Eddie sang. April's tiny hands made the motion and Max sang perfect notes with muddled words. 'You are too cute the both of you," Eddie kissed their heads.

"They are being very good," Anita replied. "How are you feeling Ms. Eddie? It is a lot, working, the kids, and the hospital no?"

"Yes," Eddie replied. "But Anita, I didn't tell you because of Tom, but…promise you won't say anything."

Anita nodded, she already knew, the sparkle in Eddie's eyes told her. "Of course I do, that is my job to listen to you both and not repeat a word I hear."

Eddie laughed at that, "Well, we're girls so, sometimes right?"

Anita smiled, "Right, so what is it that has you so happy?"

Eddie's face lit up, "Jamie and I are back together. We made up when Kara got shot and this last week, we've been able to talk and eat together and just be with each other and support each other. Montana is coming up and we're hoping to go as long as Kara is well or…as long as it's resolved. I feel so happy inside, but I feel terrible for it."

"Your friend would want your happiness, and she'd be happy to say she helped, that girl did nothing but help you, when you tell her, she'll smile."

Eddie hoped Anita was right, she wanted to hear Kara's voice, see her smile, but with each passing day that seemed move of a dream than a reality.

Eddie's phone call jolted Jamie out of his paperwork haze two night later. He wasn't expecting Eddie's call, her shift at the hospital ended two hours ago. "Hey you," he greeted smiling, then heard her tears. "What happened?"

"I don't know, Jamie, I don't know,' Eddie hiccupped. "Matt just called and said to come down, he sounded like he was crying and before I could ask he hung up. I need you, I need you to be there with me, I'm scared."

"Okay, okay, I'm on shift but I'll break away, all right. I'll be there in ten minutes." Jamie grabbed his keys and hit the streets, he knew he was playing with fire, he could get into big trouble, but this was Eddie and a member of the 12th. Jamie sped to the hotel where Eddie waited, the tears stains on her face broke his heart. "I'm sure it's okay, maybe it was just like that other time huh?" Jamie soothed but his words did little to comfort Eddie, only his presence seemed to sooth her.

They ran into the hospital together and took the stairs two at a time to the 4th floor. Both were breathless by the time they arrived. Eddie wasn't sure what she expected to find, but it was not Kara sitting up in her bed with a weak but bright smile on her face.

"Oh my God!" Eddie gasped. "Thank you, God…" Eddie closed the gap between herself and her dear friend.

"Hey," Kara croaked, her throat so dry it hurt to speak. "Hey, I lived you don't have to cry."

Jamie fought his own tears, all the way over he feared the worse. If Kara died, Eddie would never have fully recovered from her loss. It would have been like losing a piece of her heart, he couldn't stand to see her do that. He knew the pain and he didn't want her to feel that ever.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Jamie asked. "I know it hurts to talk, here…" Jamie, always prepared, handed Kara a pad.

She shook her head, "It helps to talk, helps to get better. Sorry I got hurt on your watch, Reagan."

"I'm just glad you didn't get killed on my watch, you scared us all," Jamie replied not mentioning Riley who they buried two days ago. "Welcome back."

Matt watched the exchange, he was so glad to have a second chance with Kara. He was surprised when she asked. "Can I have a few moments alone with Eddie please?"

Neither man would deny them, so they stepped out and let the two ladies have their talk. "I want you to know I heard everything you said, and I love you too. I'm glad it's all working for you, life is too short, Eddie, It's too short."

Eddie nodded and fed Kara some ice, "It is and you getting hurt showed me how short it could be. I'm so glad you're awake, I was so scared." Tears ran down her cheeks as she remembered the hours she kept vigil.

"Sorry, but it's good to be loved right?" Kara tried to joke. "Oh, that hurts. How's he doing? Jamie, he takes this stuff personally."

"He struggled but he's okay, we got through together, we focused on you, the kids are doing well, Anita and Henry have helped and Marie Renzulli too. Everything was fine, everything is fine."

Kara looked down at her legs, "Not quite everything. I was able to think in the coma, you know? I was able to think about what I was waking up to and my kids and my friends were what I wished for, but…like I just said, life is too short not to be happy and I'm not happy, Eddie. I am not happy; so I need you to help me, please."

"Kara, you have done so much to help me, you are my best friend, anything and I mean it," Eddie replied emphatically.

"Good, I'm glad," Kara replied. "Because I need you to help me leave Matt."

Eddie could not have been more stunned.

"Kara, honey," Eddie sighed. "This is…a very big decision to make after such a rough time. Your emotions are all over the place."

"I have never felt clearer in my life." Kara said firmly. "I heard you talking about Jamie and talking to Jamie, the way you spoke to each other, the way you spoke about each other, Matt and I don't have that."

"Well, maybe not now, but you were in counseling, right? Matt was a little cool, but he showed some genuine concern and he was crying when he called me to come here today," Eddie explained. "I'm not saying you're wrong to make this choice, but it maybe a little fast." Eddie took Kara's hand, "I made you a promise, I will help you find your soulmate if you feel Matt is not that person."

"I heard that too," Kara leaned back. "Oh…"

"I know…" Eddie rubbed Kara's arm. "Listen to me, if this is what you want, I'm here for you. I promise I am here for you."

"I'm just so tired of it, Eddie. We tried counseling, we tried so many other things. We tried date night, more communication, less communication. It's not that we don't love each other it's just that we don't love each other that way."

"Okay, the first thing we'll do then, when you are back on your feet is take care of this. No matter what you decide I'm here, 100% here whatever you want or need, all right? You and me."

Kara shut her eyes against the pain, it hurt badly to move, perhaps Eddie was right, perhaps she was rushing. "I'll give it a little time, see how things go during the recovery, I do love him, but I'm not sure it's right."

"Until you are sure, honey," Eddie soothed.

Kara smiled, "Bring Reagan in, then I'll see Matt. I have to know about this reconciling thing."

"I think you need to rest, so let's keep is short okay?"

Kara shut her eyes and nodded.


	90. Chapter 90

Chapter Ninety

They sat together, arms around each other, at Kara's side. She had something to say, they could read it on her face. They also knew she was exhausted, "You two have something so precious, something that I should have…that I want more than anything else in the entire world. I've seen the two of you have so many false starts, I've tried with Danny to make things work for you, and I see how happy you are. Please stop trying to make this fail. Listen to each other, respect each other, nurture this. Go to Montana, even if I'm not home, go and capture that. For me, that's how you can help me."

Jamie's eyes misted over as he held Eddie closer. "We will, you work hard too to get well. I need my best officer back on the job."

Kara could barely keep her eyes open. Jamie called Matt in as Kara began to doze off. Jamie smiled as he saw Matt's attempt to reconnect with his wife, taking her hand in his to cradle it, keeping watch over her as she slept.

Kara was discharged to a rehab facility a week later where she would work to regain strength, range of motion in her leg and arm, and most of all, for her to get her head screwed on straight again. Matt had been attentive, but distant, even Eddie saw that. Jamie characterized it as more of a try than a real effort.

The day before Montana, Eddie went to visit and check on her friend. "Hey, looking good!" Eddie smiled. "How you feeling?"

"Good, really good," Kara smiled. "And I love the hair, did you change it?"

"Yes, a little I had some layers put in," Eddie smiled. "Make it a little easier to handle when I have to be on the go. You going to be all right while we're gone?"

Kara nodded, "I talked to Matt, we are going to make one more pass at therapy while I'm recovering, Doctor says it won't be for at least six months before I'm back to full duty, so we'll see where we are then."

"I think that's pretty smart," Eddie smiled. "And if during that time or after that time you need me to help you, to make good on my promise you tell me and I'm here all right?"

Kara smiled, "You and Jamie live it up in Montana. You had a rough few months and you two deserve it. I'll miss watching out for you two."

"When we get back, I'm going to tell Tom. I can't do this anymore, you know? I can't do this to myself, to Jamie, to the children, I'm done with hurting, it's time to move on."

Kara reached out and held Eddie's hand, "Good for you. Seize this day, Eddie. You need to do that and marry Jamie as soon as you can. Don't waste more time, Eddie. I wish I had a love like yours, not everyone gets it. Now you call me and text me from Montana, tell me the fun stuff. I want details."

"You got it." Eddie stayed for lunch, then drove to the Reagan house to give Max a lesson before heading home to get ready. The plane was taking off at 8 in the morning, their week of bliss was about to begin.

"He's insisting, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "He said why fly commercial when I could fly into Billings with him then he'd go on to LA. I can't make waves, not now."

Jamie heard the upset in Eddie's voice. "Well, whoever arrives first will get their room and set up for the other one. It's the same kind of chalet we had the first year. You're right, you can't get him riled up now. I'll see you there. I'll miss cuddling with you on the plane."

"We'll be able to cuddle on the way back," Eddie comforted. "He's gone longer than we are, and we have the whole time. I'm sure I'll be there first, so I'll be ready for you when you get there."

Jamie smiled, he knew Eddie was looking forward to this just as much as he was. "I'll see you there, be safe, I love you."

"Love you too," Eddie replied and hung up to get ready.

Jamie packed up and headed to the airport for his flight. Max was settled in with Danny and Linda, he did well overnight at their house and was going to be spoiled rotten by his cousins, aunt, and uncle. The flight to Montana was usually never full, so Jamie would enjoy an empty seat next to him instead of having a stranger crammed in the seat that should have been Eddie's. There were several others from the convention on the flight from other parts of New York, Jamie acknowledged a few of them as he found his row.

"Young man," he heard as he settled into his row. "Would you mind if I sat on the aisle, I have to use the bathroom a lot and I don't want to be a bother to you."

Jamie smiled, she was in her early eighties at least, a lady pop would be friends with. "Of course, Ma'am, please." Jamie moved over to the window. Jamie settled back into the seat with a smile. "You look very happy, if you don't mind my saying," the lady spoke, "My name is Edna Williams by the way."

"Jamie Reagan, and yes I am so happy right now," Jamie replied. "I'm on my way to Montana where I plan to spend the week with the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I worked on this…" Jamie showed off an album. "It's a book of our whole relationship, until it was time to leave. I just have a few more things to do. I'm sorry, I'm just…"

"In love?" Edna asked "I can see, I was in love too, and happy for over fifty years. Can I see the pictures?"

Jamie was proud to show off Eddie, "Oh, you met at work, police, very nice. My daughter married an EMT in New York, I was just visiting her before going home. Montana is home for me. This is home for you?"

"Yes, and Montana is our special place, mine and Eddie's," Jamie replied. "I'm going to ask her to marry me," Jamie had a tough time keeping his mouth quiet.

Mrs. Williams settled back to comb through the book while Jamie worked on penning a letter to Eddie. In it, he told her of his love for her, his undying affection, and all the plans he wanted to realize when their family was finally one unit. "She's a very pretty girl," Mrs. Williams replied. "That hair, it nearly glows."

"She's just as beautiful inside as she is outside. My little son," Jamie turned and found a picture of Eddie holding Max. "He's mine from a previous marriage, has a musical talent, and the two of them just bonded so well. Look how he holds onto her, one of his first words was Mommom…"

"And who is this cutie?' Mrs. Williams pointed to April.

"That's Eddie's daughter with her husband, Tom."

Mrs. Williams' eyebrow raised, and Jamie sighed. "That's the one obstacle and it's really my fault too. I didn't seize the day with her and I lost her to another man. Two years ago, in Montana, we worked it out, but I was married, she was getting married, it was too late. Love won out though, and we are going to make our family, this time next year we are going to make our family.

Mrs. Williams nodded, "If she is your soulmate, then you work at it until that day comes. My Bob, oh we were best friends, and we were soulmates as well. We lived and breathed each other, we were so close. I can see you feel that way about this Eddie. You two keep working at it."

Jamie reached into his carry-on, "I have this for her. It will fit under her other rings so it's not an issue until she tells her husband that we can't continue like this. What do you think?"

Jamie wanted this lady's opinion, he liked her. She was kind and reminded him of his grandma with a much softer edge. The ring was a simple, thin band with diamonds circling around it. It sparkled like the light in Jamie's eyes when he mentioned his Eddie.

"Our best friends, Sarah and Charles, are still alive. We used to play bridge with them. So now I go over there twice a week and talk to them. We play gin instead of bridge, and I miss him so much. He was a reverend." Mrs. Williams face was aglow as she spoke of her dearly departed husband.

"That's so nice," Jamie smiled. "Married fifty- four years. If Eddie and I get married this year we could maybe make that milestone and come back to Montana for the anniversary. The first day I held her, the very first day, I knew deep down, and then I blew seven years. Now, this flight, this waiting to get to her…feels like forever."

An old, soft hand reached across the seat and patted Jamie's arm, "It's only another two hours."

The jet touched down at the private airport three hours before the commercial flight was due in. "Have a good trip,' Eddie wished Tom grabbing her bag. "I'll get myself home, I don't want to be away from April too long."

"Of course," Tom replied. "Enjoy the trip." He leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss before she deplaned, and their pilot taxied to take Tom onto LA. Eddie got her cab and headed right for the chalet to check in. She had a lot in mind for this trip, the first thing would be welcoming Jamie.

They were assigned their own rooms, Eddie checked out her room, it had a splendid view of the mountains, so she hoped Jamie wouldn't mind staying there. Eddie unpacked her bag, then text Jamie the room number so he could come and meet her. "There's a key attached to the mat under the door. Room 362 in the back building I'll see you there."

When Jamie turned his phone back on, he got the text. He packed up the scrapbook and made sure Mrs. Williams made it to her cab. "Nice meeting you, young man. I wish you and your lady love many years of happiness."

Jamie smiled, he knew he was in for an evening of more than that.

Jamie checked in and then found Eddie in her suite. He slid the key in the door then pushed it open. He didn't see Eddie at first, just a long strand of red ribbon on the floor.

Jamie picked it up and began to pull it. Eddie slowly stepped out with the ribbons around her, spinning around as Jamie unwrapped her like a beautiful gift. Much to Jamie's delight, she only had on the ribbon.

Jamie continued to tug on the end of the ribbon, Eddie slowly began to spin closer and closer until Jamie pulled her into his arms. "Welcome, Sergeant Reagan," Jamie smiled and dipped his head to kiss her. "And to what do I own this greeting?"

"I'm wrapped up in you,' Eddie murmured and slid her arms around his neck and back holding tight as they both began to laugh. Their kiss was familiar as the morning sun, yet desperate as that of two lovers that had been forced to separate. Their tongues met and danced a private duel as their hands roamed. Jamie took advantage of Eddie's nakedness and let his hands roam over the smooth skin of her back. He turned her and trailed kissed from the back of her neck, down her spine, to the small of her back. That was her sweet spot, Eddie shuddered and moaned loudly.

"Ssh," Jamie murmured. "Hush, my love. Hush, we haven't even gotten started." Jamie pulled Eddie down to her knees, wrapping her up in his strong arms. Eddie's fingers began to pull Jamie's sweatshirt off. She quickly discarded the garment and the same for his tee shirt. She wanted so badly to have his chest pressed against hers, to feel his skin…Eddie moaned, Jamie sighed.

Their lips searched for all the tender spots, Jamie's neck, Eddie's ear, Jamie's left nipple, Eddie's right wrist. They knew each other so well, they were old friends and new lovers each time. Jamie remembered when he had to imagine Eddie's body, what would she like, what wouldn't she…Now he didn't have to imagine it. The mysteries of her body had made him ache with need, now they were solved, but the ache continued.

"Open for me," Jamie whispered. He wanted to touch her, to feel her and accept her invitation. He put his hand on the most private part of her body and felt her welcoming response. He petted her, stroked her, opened her, and eased one finger into her tight sheath. Jamie's sex was throbbing, but he wanted to do so much more. Still over a month passed since their wedding rendezvous and his resolve was shaky at best.

Eddie was slick and damp, proof that the lust was not all on his part. She made the lowest moans as he stroked her sex, that elevated his passion to an even greater height. The floor was not the place for this reunion. Jamie stood slowly bringing Eddie with him. He tumbled her down on the bed, dragging her body across his. With more deliberation, he probed her body, reining himself in, not wanting to simply take her then and there, he wanted this to be more, and she did as well.

His hands found her breasts and closed gently. Until he touched them, she hadn't realized how desperate she had been for this. She moaned aloud at the relief, the pleasure. Her nipples stabbed his palms. He rubbed his thumbs over then and laughed softly. "I remember the way they taste, the way they feel in my mouth." Her breasts lifted into his hands with every breath; desire coiling hotly between her legs, her flesh warm and pliable to his touch.

His breath hissed through his teeth, his broad chest expanding. Slowly, he stroked his hands up her legs, pushing her thighs wider and wider apart until she was fully exposed to him. His hands tightened on her thighs. Slowly he leaned forward, letting his body touch hers, lightly pressing down on her as his mouth closed over hers with a sweet tenderness that was almost devastating. The kiss was as gentle as butterfly wings, as leisurely as summer, with utmost delicacy, her cherished her mouth, lingering over the kiss. At the same time, his wicked fingers moved boldly between her legs, opening the secret folds that protected the soft opening of her body. One finger probed at her, making her squirm, then it pushed deep inside. Eddie arched helplessly, moaning into his mouth, overcome by the startled sense of being penetrated.

He kept on kissing her, the sweetness of his mouth gentling her for the marauding thrust of his fingers. It was almost diabolical, that contrast of intensity, arousing every aspect of her sensuality. She was both seduced and ravished, enticed and taken.

His lips left her mouth, slid hotly down her throat, then were at her breasts. He sipped delicately, sucked hard. Eddie sank into a whirling storm of pure desire, trembling with need. She put her hands on his head, feeling the thick, cool silk of his hair between her fingers. She felt dizzy, drunk with arousal, with the heated musky scent of his skin. He was hot, so hot, his body heat burning through his shirt.

His mouth moved downward, over her trembling stomach muscles. His tongue probed her shallow navel, making her loins clench wildly as a bolt of pleasure shot through her. Slowly, Jamie draped Eddie's legs over his shoulders. She made an incoherent sound of helpless anticipation.

"Good enough to eat," Jamie muttered. Then he kissed her, his mouth hot and wet, his tongue swirling around her straining, yearning nub. He hips lifted wildly, her heels digging into his back. She cried out, muffling the sound with her own hand. She couldn't stand it, it was too intense, it was torture and ecstasy all at once, and her hips bucked to escape the sensation. He gripped her tighter, pulling her harder against his mouth, and his tongue stabbed deep into her. She climaxed violently, shuddering, and screaming Jamie's name from the force of it.

When the sensations finally ebbed and released her from their dark whirlpool, she lay sprawled limply on the bed. She couldn't move. She had no strength, not even enough to open her eyes.

He lifted her thighs off his shoulders as she felt him moving, felt the brush of bare skin against her as he stripped out of his pants. His urgency was a hot, wild thing.

Jamie couldn't wait, he had to join their bodies, he knew Eddie was ready, she was writhing with need. "Jamie…please…please…" she whimpered.

"Don't worry," Jamie murmured. "Don't worry, my love. I'm here…I'm here…" Jamie raised his hips and sank into her. They both sighed with the pleasure of that connection, not just of body but of soul.

They began to move in unison, their bodies knowing the others rhythm on instinct. Their climax was simultaneous, Eddie cried out while Jamie gasped inward at the exquisite feeling, they were one body once again.

"Welcome to Montana," Eddie whispered as their breathing regulated and their bodies cooled down. "I didn't think I could wait, I kept refreshing your flight over and over."

"I missed you beside me, I wanted to hold you, cuddle you like I'm doing right now," Jamie confessed.

"We have all week to be together, and I meant what I said about going back and making it right. I need you, Jamie, I can't live like I was living, I can't live without coming home with you, making love with you. I don't want to."

Jamie kissed Eddies head, "You won't have to. This is you and me, we are going to be together, we keep saying it but let's make sure it comes to pass this time. We deserve it."

Eddie fell asleep in Jamie's arms, he nodded off as well holding her tight. They both woke an hour later, almost at the same time. Jamie's arousal was pressing into Eddie's leg. She blushed and smiled at him, she loved how she could make him need her like this. "Can you take me again?" Jamie whispered softly.

For her answer, Eddie raised her thigh, so it rubbed against Jamie's sex. He reached down, guided himself to her soft, swollen opening and slid inside. Neither felt a strong, urgent need for orgasm, just the need for each other. They lay together, rocking to keep up the level of the sensation. The night was getting older and it would be time to attend the meet and greet, and begin the conference. They risked getting caught if they lie in bed much longer, as much as this was their reunion, they had jobs to do.

"We have the same course time, but distinct levels, then it's free time," Jamie whispered. "Meet you in the pub after, we'll have a drink and…come back here…"

Eddie stretched and sighed, "I like the come back here part, very much…" She stretched and stood up, showing off her nakedness as she headed to the shower to clean up. Jamie laid in the bed a few minutes longer, stretching before standing up and finding his clothes. If today had been any indication, their third time in Montana would certainly be their charm.

 **A/N: On Monday, 2/19, there will be a bonus chapter posted in honor of the birthday of my very dear friend and writing partner, NancyReviews. Happy Birthday to you, I wish you all the happiness that you deserve and a little more for good measure. You've been a warm and supportive friend to me and have inspired and influenced me more than you will ever know.**


	91. Chapter 91

Chapter Ninety One

Jamie was there first, waiting for Eddie with a coke for him and her usual beer. Eddie looked tired but beautiful as she hurried to him. "Hey, that speaker took forever, it was ridiculous." She stood on her tip toes and kissed Jamie softly. "How was yours?"

"Not bad, but the night just got better," Jamie smiled. "Toast…To us, to our future, to our life…"

"To life, L'chaim," Eddie laughed and clicked her bottle with his glass. "What are we eating, I'm starved."

"I ordered the barbeque sampler, red meat burger for you, salmon burger for me," Jamie replie. "There's a table…make a run for it."

The grabbed the booth before another couple was able to and Eddie laughed, "We still got it."

Jamie opened the two menus to hide their faces and give them some privacy. "I feel such relief now we are here."

Eddie nodded, "Me too. I love being with you, but I hate the lying and sneaking. I want that over and when we get home it will be."

Jamie cupped her cheek, "Yes it will, I love you so much and we need to be together. Kara was right, we can't waste more time. That bullet could just as easily…"

"No!" Eddie said firmly. "No don't say that, don't even think it. It's way too close to home." Eddie held to Jamie, she had nightmares about that.

"I'm sorry, honey," Jamie soothed. "I am, I just don't' want to waste more of our time. I love it too much, it's too special. What we have is too special."

Their appetizers came and the conversation turned to plans for the week. "Eddie, I'm not seeing you on a ski slope, but if you want to I'll help you out. Did you get ski gear?"

"Of course, I got ski gear. I love buying a new outfit, oh, and I want to go to the open mic night. Just to listen, I know you aren't down with singing in public and stuff." Eddie was like a kid at Christmas.

"Sounds good to me," Jamie smiled. "Do you like the ribs, I think they are a little greasy."

Eddie shrugged, "The more the better, we'll work it off on the dance floor. You owe me from the wedding when your footsie hurt."

"What if it still hurts?" Jamie asked with a hint of levity.

"You're out of luck," Eddie laughed. "I'm getting my kicks tonight…with you." She batted her eyes at him and smiled.

After their meals were finished, Eddie made good on her demand. They stood up and headed to the dance floor, Jamie kept Eddie close. This was the very lounge where she had trouble last year and he had to step in and help. That turned out to be a way to heal a flawed relationship at that point, it was a good girl step anyway.

Jamie and Eddie moved to the music, a moderate rhythm, half slow and half fast. Eddie rubbed her hips against Jamie's in a suggestive way, he felt his body going wild already, but she wanted to dance, not…well not yet.

They danced to a couple moderate paced songs, before taking a break to refresh themselves. They had barely sat down when two Lynchburg Lemonades were delivered to their table. "Compliments of the couple at the end of the bar," the server told them.

Jamie looked over and raised the glass in a thank you. He toasted Eddie again and took a sip of the new concoction. It was excellent. "This is really…"

"Isn't it good!" a perky, pretty brunette piped up. "It's my absolute favorite drink for this time of year. Hot buttered rum until just about St Patrick's Day of course. I'm Tina, and this is my husband Lou. We saw you dancing, you have great rhythm. How long you been married?"

Jamie opened his mouth to say they weren't but Eddie fibbed, "Three years, this is our honeymoon week. How about you?"

Tina was nice enough, but a little too peppy for Eddie's taste. Still, when the couple asked to sit down and continue the talk, she was open to it. "Ten years and we live right here in Montana, work here actually. Where are you from?"

"New York, Long Island for her and Brooklyn for me," Jamie replied. "We're here for the police leadership symposium. My wife is an SVU detective and I'm a training Sergeant." Jamie made mention of this only because you never could be too careful with friendly strangers.

"Oh I think that line of work is so impressive,' Lou replied. "I'd love to hear some of your war stories."

Jamie, who often joked he became a cop for the stories, was full of them.

The band resumed their set about a half hour later. Tina and Lou hung on Jamie and Eddie's every word until then. "Let's dance!" Lou suggested and pulled Tina up to whisk her ot the floor. Eddie and Jamie shared a look, "I have a few more in me," he laughed. "Come on."

Jamie wasn't sure exactly how Eddie disappeared from his arms, but she did in a swift motion. He was soon dancing with a tall, brunette with a winning smile and Eddie was dancing with a handsome, muscular man with a crew cut, a.k.a. Tina and Lou. They shared looks over each other's shoulders, this was totally off.

At the same time, Jamie and Eddie realized this couple was not the typical married couple. For Jamie, it was the moment when Tina began the bump and grind he welcomed from Eddie earlier that night and for Eddie it was when Lou cupped her buttocks. Both of their eyes opened wide at the realization that Tina and Lou were friendly for a reason. They were swingers!

Jamie thought quickly reaching out for Eddie's hand, She read his body language and grabbed on tight. They took off running past their table. Eddie grabbed her purse and kept moving through the kitchen and out the side door.

It was raining outside but they didn't care. They were running fast and laughing hard as they took off. Eddie paused only to remove the cumbersome heels she'd worn for the night as they headed to the gazebo in the grass near the lake.

"Careful," Jamie stopped and scooped Eddie into his arms. "Don't cut up your feet." It touched Eddie he was so tender even while they were gasping for air from the laughter. "What was that? What are those people?"

Jamie shook his head, "Best stayed away from," he replied. He ducked into the gazebo sitting with Eddie on his lap. Her hair was wet and her face red but she was smiling brightly. She looked so pretty that way, natural. Jamie wrapped her in his arms and his lips closed over hers. Eddie's soft, cool hands found Jamie's cheeks, and she sighed with contentment.

He took her lips again, his hands entangling in her hair. It was free flowing now, no combs or barettes to hold it up or get in his way. "Feel so good," Jamie sighed. "I can't get enough of holding you, kissing you. Only I touch you now, me…"

"You're the only one I want to touch me," Eddie sighed. "Just you. Your hands…touch…you know."

"Later," Jamie whispered. "I'm having fun."

Her hair and lips were getting all of Jamie's attention now, the rain still hitting their hot flesh from the sides of the open gazebo. It didn't' seem to bother either one of the love birds.

The shared kisses and touches left both Jamie and Eddie feeling warm and happy. Jamie cuddled her to him, rubbing her side. It was chilly out that night, but in each other's arms, they didn't' notice. Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "I love it here. Not just this place, but Montana, I love it here, so peaceful. Nowhere in New York can you make out in public and not get a ticket."

Jamie nibbled at Eddie's ear lobe, she made a sigh as she felt her sex tighten, she wanted to go back to the room, but it was still raining pretty hard. "True, but I do have a PC courtesy card that would probably take care of that particular ticket for us." They shared another long kiss, tongues touching, Eddie ran hers along Jamie's teeth, he bit down just a bit to entice her.

Her hands were inside of his shirt, stroking his chest, while he petted her through the thin material of her blouse. "I can see that now, DCPI Moore dealing with the fallout of that. Do you think when we have our wedding we'll draw publicity like that?"

Jamie laid his chin on Eddie's hair, "No, I don't because we are going to get married someplace quiet and quaint, not in a big circus. We have waited so long, we need to make sure it's perfect and for me private is perfect."

Eddie agreed, her wedding to Tom was a dog and pony show. Jamie's lips found her neck and ear lobe as she thought of the day they finally made good on their promises. She could feel Jamie's sex poking her thigh, he slid his hand between her legs, the moisture and heat could be felt through her jeans. "We should go back soon, we can't here and I want…"

"I know, but it's pouring," she sighed. 'Let's just cuddle more, talk more." That was important too, they both new that.

"I could see us retiring here," Jamie said after regaining a bit of composure. "Watching the grandkids play, growing old, sitting in our backyard with a gazebo just like this one."

"I can see that too, but first we have see some places to go, Disney World, Las Vegas, Niagara Falls, and the Budapest Doll Museum."

"What now?" Jamie laughed. "That was kind of random."

"Not at all," Eddie replied. "My parents went on their honeymoon. I've always wanted to go."

Jamie smiled, "Then we'll go. It's a date, my love."

Eddie smiled, "That's a good bucket list for now…we also need to make love in a lot more places, closets are good but we can be more creative."

Jamie smiled, "Where do you have in mind?" He held her a little tighter. Before Eddie could answer though they heard it, Tina's shrill voice calling out for her new friedns, "Jamie, Eddie, where are you…"

By some miracle, Jamie and Eddie managed to avoid Tina and Lou on their way back to the chalet. Jamie carried Eddie the entire way so she wouldn't slip and fall in the heels or get her feet wet and catch cold. They were both soaked to the skin when they got into the room.

"Okay, those people are clueless or…" Jamie laughed. "Have you and Tom ever encountered, I know the richer sect sometimes…"

"No," Eddie replied. 'But Tom and I aren't very intimate, it was just that once since we made that vow and I hurt every day that I…"

"Stop,' Jamie whispered and pulled her close to him. "Don't hurt, don't' regret, don't be sorry, it was a mistake, you made some, I made some, that's life and this is love, love forgives, Eddie. I forgave you, you forgave me…forgive yourself, and I will try too as well."

"I feel like I betrayed you," Eddie sighed. "Even though I'm married and it's different than if you were, I made a…" Jamie stopped her self induced lashing with a soft kiss.

"A mistake, you made a mistake and it's over…let's get warm under the covers. We have a full day tomorrow and we both need our rest. Come on."

Jamie didn't like to see Eddie upset or bothered, especially not their first night in Montana. Jamie stripped out of his wet clothes and got into bed holding the sheets back for Eddie. She stripped, making it a little enjoyable for him with a wriggle of her hips before she joined him, naked in bed.

Jamie held her tight, kissed her hair and gave her the tender and gentle love she needed right then, he could sense that. "What is it?"

Eddie shrugged, "Tina. She's your type, taller, thinner, brunette, even Claudia…"

"You're my type," Jamie quickly corrected her and gave her the kiss to prove it. "You are my type, I love you, just you."

"I know you love me, but all the other women you've dated or been with, they have been brunette and thin and tall…well Claudia wasn't thin but…" Eddie shrugged. "You have a type, I'm not it."

"No' Jamie said again. "I was just wrong all those other times, this time I'm right, we're right…and our life is on track to be right. Don't do this, not here…don't beat up on yourself."

Jamie pulled Eddie over his so she could look in his eyes. "I only have eyes for you, I will only until I die and then, the only woman I'll look at in Heaven will be you."

Eddie laughed at his sincere yet silly promise, "And if I go first?"

"You won't,' Jamie replied. "You my little vixen, will kill me first, guaranteed."

Eddie rewarded Jamie with a smile and a deep, passionate kiss as they made love on their first night back in Montana.


	92. Chapter 92

Chapter Ninety Two

There was no time for a pancake breakfast the next morning, Jamie and Eddie grabbed some bagels then got to their lecture with minutes to spare. This portion was on partners and trust, something they had mastered from the first day, but others…not so much as they witnessed active partners do bonding exercises and fail miserably.

"Not every partnership is right or works out," the instructor said. "Sometimes it's necessary to swtich partners and change things up for the health and well-being of everyone involved. Later today, we'll be pairing off for a simulated situation in which you'll have to work with your partner to get out safely. If you are here with a partner or former partner and you'd like to work together that's fine, if not, please come up and get a test. We'll use this to match you to the best partner."

Eddie and Jamie, of course wished to work together. "Remember Ray?" Jamie laughed. "Oh, you wanted to kill him when you found out how he played you."

"You were jealous of Ray, in fact, you were jealous even more than I was jealous of all the girls you dated, and it was a lot! A lot of brunettes. Maybe I'll dye my hair."

"Don't touch your hair, it's perfect and I bet you anything that we are going to rule this sim later, we were always the best, reading each other…"

Eddie thought back to the great escape of the previous night, that partnership connection got them clear, but would it keep them that way? That was a horse of another color.

"What I'd like to do for the last few minutes before lunch, is to have you write a letter to your partner, the best partner you've had or your current one, tell us what you felt and how you connected to each other. After lunch, before the simulation, we'll read a few out loud and see what makes the ideal partner, I'm sure we'll see some similar traits."

Eddie loved to write letters to and about Jamie, so she smiled and took her pen write away, Jamie on the other hand, liked to speak, odd for him, usually he was private, but still he dug deep for the correct written words to convey his emotions for Eddie.

 _My partner is loyal and true," Eddie wrote. "He is dependable, honest to a fault, and always there for me when I need him. The first day of my career a cop was killed. I handled that as well as any rookie could at the time, but later, the smell of her blood made my stomach lurch. My partner backed me up. He assured me I could do it even though I wasn't sure myself. Our assignment later that week, was to protect that cop's killer. A few other officers were seeking revenge, and my partner stood up for our charge, not letting them go by the way I wanted to. I realized what that cost him, he could have been beaten himself, but he didn't care, so I stood by his side the way he stood by me._

 _For me, that's_ _what being a partner is about, it's a friendship with a deeper responsibility, a greater demand for attention and a greater requirement of it. Both have to be dedicated to each other and the work or it will be a failure. The greatest mark of a great partner though is silent. It's the way you speak through your eyes, or if not, with one or two words that mean nothing to someone else, just to you. Then you execute your plan and find success. That takes time, and it takes connection, but most of all it takes_ _trust_ _._ _A good partnership cannot last without that trust."_

Eddie put her letter in the box and hoped that perhaps it would be shared. It would be a public declaration of her love that Jamie would understand and appreciate. Jamie was busily penning his own letter, he had a smile on his face and kept looking up at his beautiful Eddie.

 _My partner came into my life when I needed it most. My previous partner had been killed and I was in the most terrible of places with myself, my job, and my life. I never felt I could trust myself again. I got assigned a rookie, fresh from the academy. She was happy, delightful, and brave. Nothing seemed to bother her on the job, she kept her head and had my back. I tried to have hers as well, but I still lacked a confidence, until something happened to her and she needed me._

 _I remember_ _meeting with her_ _, talking it through as a team. We came up with a plan and executed it perfectly, she was vindicated, and I was so proud of her. She handled herself well in that intense situation and I learned that her beauty, was not just superficial, it ran deep and made her a very special person and special cop._

 _We had a missing teen, she was lost and scared. All I could do for her was wrap her in a jacket, but my partner saw how to reach her, she opened her personal life up to her and helped this young girl come to terms with a great loss. I already knew that my partner was going to do this, we can read each other, we anticipate, and protect each other. In the darkest of times we have supported each other, silently, more often than verbally._

 _That is the mark of a good partner, they can read your cues, they know when you need them, and you know they are there without question._

Jamie sealed his paper and reached out for Eddie. He carefully took her hand into his own and kissed it, he didn't' care if anyone saw.

Their eyes met, and they silently decided to sneak off for some kisses at the break. The moment they were dismissed, they stepped behind the convention center and embraced. "I love you,' Jamie whispered. "I have forever and I just…doing this I realized how much I should appreciate you and how I haven't. I never gave a full apology for…"

"Yes, you did," Eddie replied. "When you changed your behavior, and acknowledge it was hurtful. We don't' need an elaborate I'm sorry, we just need to feel it and I do."

Eddie's hand entangled in Jamie's hair. He ran his up and down her back with gentle kisses. They stayed fifteen minutes, giving themselves just enough time to eat and get back. This decision too was made silently, just their eyes talking. They had the best talks that way at times, the best understanding.

"We have a few letters that we'd like to read, none of them will be identified, I'm sure if the partner is here they'll recognized themselves, but partnership is a personal relationship. I think that so many of you are lucky to have partners you can trust; this one letter is about that."

As the letter was read, Jamie instantly recognized Eddie's writing style and their memories together. He remembered those hard times and so many of the good ones. His letter to her was not chosen, but he'd kept a copy of it and would give it to her later that day. The simulation was next and that had their adrenaline pumping.

The scenario was similar, a hostage situation with a young child involved. Each team was sent in having to disarm the perp. Jamie and Eddie's silent communication went into overdrive. With his eyes, Jamie directed Eddie to the back of the perp. She moved into position and grabbed her asp, holstering her gun. The idea to take the perp by surprise. Jamie held the gun on him, "Put it down," he said firmly. "Put the gun down, you are not walking out of here."

"She gets a bullet if you don't back off! Back off!" the perp screamed, and the child hostage cried. Eddie was poised and ready. While the perps' attention was on Jamie, Eddie swung from the back hitting him in the upper arm. His arm opened, and the gun hit the floor. Jamie charged the startled perp, and Eddie moved into calm the scared girl and pull her to safety. Not a word was exchanged.

"Well done!" the instructor praised. "Very well done, and notice they barely spoke. In a tense situation like this, sometimes speech is more of a problem, so this set of partners ability to read each other's body language. Excellent work, you two go have a seat."

Jamie and Eddie high fived each other, he hugged her and spun her around. They had to force themselves to pull apart, they were both on such an adrenaline rush high. They sat and watched the other partners do their simulations, some were as good, others needed work. When the exercise was completed, Jamie and Eddie headed out together. The other groups shook their hands, "And you two aren't even paired anymore."

"When you know how to work in a pair, you don't lose that, I teach my rookies that all the time," Jamie replied. "You guys did an excellent job too, that was pretty seamless." They visited with the other cops for a bit, then took their leave five minutes apart, meeting back at their room.

"We rocked!" Eddie exclaimed. "We really rocked this out! I'm so pumped!"

Jamie smiled and caught Eddie in a hug. "We did, I miss working with you like that, a team like that."

"Me too," Eddie replied. 'I haven't had a good partner like that since you. Sometimes I think about not continuing you know? Staying home, raising April and Max, but then I think I worked hard for this and it's something I do for me."

"If you do want to do that, or cut back, it's fine with me," Jamie replied. "I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy with you," Eddie replied. "I want to show you something." Eddie rolled over the bed and went into her suitcase, she pulled out a stack of letter on the stationary Jamie gave her for Christmas. "I wrote all of these while we were apart. I wanted to say so many things and I never could because I thought you were with Camille and all that stuff. I want you to have them now."

Jamie smiled at her, "I hoped you were using it, I didn't know."

Eddie looked down, "I'd like you to read them, I think you'll really…like them."

Jamie reached into his bag and pulled out the paper he wrote earlier. "I'll pick one from the stack while you read this?"

Eddie agreed and took the letter from Jamie's hand while he reached into the middle of the pile and pulled it out. The envelope had tear stains on it.

 _Dearest Jamie –_

 _I'm sitting in the window seat missing your arms. I got so spoiled with you holding me in your arms when I got shot and to know you are holding another now…I didn't think I could hurt more and each day I do._

 _I remember how your fingers felt on my spine, gently stroking up and down. I remember how you looked in the morning with your hair unruly and sleepiness in your eyes. I remember how you focused on my needs and my comfort, and I remember the fun with the children, playing outside, going to the ball pool, our family moments. We won't have any more of them._

 _I know I told you to go, to be happy, to move on. I never expected you would do it. I took you for granted there. I wish you every happiness with Camille, I don't want you to hurt the way I do. I love you too much, I hope against home that you will find love, then again, I hope against hope you won't find it to be too strong, so that you'll meet me again and again in our special place in Montana._

 _I love you,_

 _Eddie._

Both had tears running down their cheeks when they read their letters. "Oh Jamie…" Eddie moved close to him and held him tight. She just began to kiss him when her stomach let out a loud grumble causing them both to laugh.

Jamie kissed her nose, "Guess I better feed you huh? We won't have much fun with that noisy thing? Anything special?"

Eddie shook her head, "Something fast…"

"Wendy's it is…" Jamie grabbed the keys and they headed to his rental for a fast food meal and a quick return to their room for an intimate ending to an intimate day.


	93. Chapter 93

Chapter Ninety Three

A baconator and fish sandwich later, Jamie and Eddie lay on their bed spooned up tight. "It was cold outside," Eddie remarked. "It's the mountains though, I guess that's normal."

Jamie kissed her head, "Well, you are warm and snug in here so…"

"What if I wasn't?" Eddie asked.

"Huh?" Jamie's eyes widened wondering what she was up to.

"What if I was so very cold and shivering…what then?" Eddie asked moving over Jamie beginning to kiss him. "What would you do to warm me up?"

Jamie shook his head and laughed, "Baby, I'll light your fire…"

Eddie leaned down and pulled Jamie into a fierce kiss. She moved her hands to tickle his sides, he erupted into laughter. "No, no don't…don't…"

"Oh, you're ticklish, you are so ticklish…I love it!" Eddie laughed and continued to tickle his sides as she worked off his sweatshirt and undershirt all at one time.

She wiggled her fingers on the soft flesh, Jamie would have curled up in a ball if not for her weight on top of him. "Do you have any other spots that are ticklish?" she asked as tears ran down Jamie's cheeks. "Your feet, I bet your feet."

"No! No, not my feet please don't…."

Too late. Eddie was already working his sock off and slowly torturing him. It was different than when she rubbed his sore foot, this was feather light and airy making him burst into immediate laughter.

That was the theme of the night, snuggles, tickles and laughs. Eddie worked her way up Jamie's legs to a part of his body she knew for sure was not ticklish. On her knees, Eddie stripped out of her clothes, showing off her curves, her skin, and shaking out her hair. Jamie could not keep his hands out of her golden mane as she stripped off his jeans and boxers revealing his throbbing sex.

Eddie bent over and nibbled a bit, testing to see how hot he was for her. She had her answer when his hips thrashed and thrust up and down. "I need you, don't…I need…"

"I know, but it's payback time!" Eddie laughed. "All those nights I beg for you…look who is begging now…"

Eddie took her time, she slid onto Jamie's body slowly, but didn't quite complete the connection for several moments until he took matters into his own hands. He grabbed her shoulders and rolled her over, taking her in a smooth swift motion.

The both rode the wave of ecstasy. **Jamie's body enveloped hers, Eddie's hands massaged the skin on Jamie's back, stroking him, holding him. Their bodies moved in unison, just as they had during the simulation that day. Their connection was timeless, seamless, each time they did this ancient dance, it was deeper, sweeter and more profound. The closer they got, the better it was.**

 **Eddie moaned as Jamie pushed into her once more. She sighed as her body climaxed, feeling Jamie release at the same time.**

 **They** held each other close as they slept. Eddie never slept very well, she was up and down most of the time, but with her Jamie in her arms, and his even breathing, she slept like sleeping beauty.

The had seminars in the morning, separate from each other, but planned to meet on the ski slopes after lunch. Eddie had never been skiing but had purchased a new outfit for the occasion complete with self-described super cute boots.

Jamie had experienced skiing before in Lake Tahoe with Spencer and knew his way around the slopes. He was careful and pretty patient with Eddie, but her inexperience caught the attention of the ski instruction on the slope.

He approached Eddie from behind and tried to steady her. Something about him was familiar, the scent and the face…the touch on her buttocks…

"Lou!" Eddie exclaimed trying to spin around fast and ending up twisted in the snow. She looked up at Lou and at Jamie as he skied over. "I think I have it," Jamie told the man. "We…just want to work on our partner skills."

Jamie helped Eddie to her feet and they began to work together again. She had a couple of good starts but for the most part, the day was spent with Eddie on her back or bottom. "It is cold down here,' she laughed. "See…" She playfully tugged Jamie's arm forcing him down next to her and stole a kiss.

Eddie was okay during dinner, they shared a pizza with actual buffalo meet on it then a beer hiding from Lou and Tina at a local restaurant. The chairs were hard, no padding or backs. By the time the meal was done, Eddie could hardly move. "I've got you," Jamie assured her holding her hand in his. They were heading home for a hot bath and massage when, "Well, well…if it isn't the best partners of them all."

The officer was a bit drunk, Jamie boxed his shoulders. "We've had a lot of practice…You need to listen better, that was your issue."

"Well, we might not be the best partners at the sims but we are in the pool hall. One hundred bucks says you and shorty there can't hang 2 out of 3."

Jamie wanted to accept but Eddie was hurting, "She's not feeling well, I…"

"She can speak for herself and I'm feeling just fine, but one hundred is a little…careful. $500 to the winner plus drinks…"

"That's too much!" the disgruntled officer protested.

"Oh? If you aren't confident them…" Eddie made to leave.

"Wait a minute, you're on."

The partners who were Wyatt and Tyler, flipped Jamie for the break. Jamie lost, as he hoped and he and Eddie stood by watching while Wyatt sank three balls. Jamie looked at Eddie and wiggled his eye brown up and down. She understood and deliberately missed her shot making it go wide and off angle. In reality, Eddie was a terrific pool player, but her pretty face and short stature made people doubt that. Eddie played into their hands for several shots.

Jamie sank balls when it was his turn as reliably as the other men. The silent communication between him and Eddie never faltered the entire time. They pushed it to the little, letting Wyatt and Tyler win the first game.

They played with their minds through the middle of the second game, then Jamie looked at Eddie and she smiled at him. Slowly, she improved her aim. "Two in the side," she called and sank the ball. She jumped up and down and immediately regretted that. "Ouch…" she laughed. "Oh, you so owe me a hot bath…" She whispered to Jamie as she slid past.

Jamie laughed and winked at her promising lovely things to come when they got back to their room. "Seven in the corner," Jamie called and made the shot easily, leaving only the eight ball. He dropped that his next shot to win the game.

"Okay, so you and the lady have something after all?" Tyler remarked. "So, the next game, loser call…is 9 Ball."

Eddie tried to contain her enthusiasm at that one, she was good at that game and now, she asked Jamie would be the time to show it.

Jamie indicated that was correct and Eddie smiled. "Our break…"

Eddie broke the ball, hitting the one directly into the opposite corner. The two and three followed suit and it was on. For the next five minutes, Wyatt and Tyler stood there and watched as one by one the ball fell until the table was clean, no one else even took a shot.

Jamie high-fived Eddie and smiled at Wyatt counted out the $500.00 and bough their shots. Eddie dropped hers in a second, her body ached so badly but the adrenaline rush of the win and spying Tina and Lou out of the corner of her eye gave her the energy to jog out the side door with Jamie and laugh all the way to the car.

"I can't go another step," Eddie whined as Jamie opened the room. "My back and legs ache."

"I'll take good care of you," Jamie replied. "Get out of those clothes, I'll be right back."

Painfully, Eddie removed her sweater, jeggings, and boots. She didn't' have a muscle that didn't throb. Jamie was in the bathroom, moving in and out of drawers and dressers. When he came back he had two warm rags, a bottle of massage oil, and some lotion.

"Oh, look at your thighs, so bruised. Lie on your tummy," Jamie told her. "I'll get you all fixed up okay."

"Please, this is worse than that one time we did that simulation with the bikers and I ended up getting smashed into the wall," Eddie laughed as Jamie laid the two warm compresses on her calves and started the massage on her back.

Jamie gently ran his hand down her spine, feeling the tension along the bones there. Eddie sighed, ready to melt into his arms. "Oh, I feel it…you were holding those poles all wrong. My poor baby. I think your skiing days are behind you."

"You weren't the greatest teacher there either, Reagan," Eddie sighed. "Might have had better luck with Lou."

"Oh God…" Jamie laughed. "Those people are something, spooning with you on the ski slope right in front of me. That's ridiculous."

"They just have a different lifestyle," Eddie replied. "Oh, right there...that's…oh…that's the spot there."

"That knot isn't even part of the mess you made, don't worry." Jamie kissed the knot and laid his cheek on the skin. He rubbed some oil between his hands to warm it and began rubbing again as Eddie begged him not to stop.

"You're so pretty," Jamie whispered. "I love the way your spine curves by your hips." He changed the hot rags out and started to work on her buttocks and legs.

At the top of her cheek, near her hip was a bruise and knot. Jamie had to be infinitely gentle so he wouldn't hurt more than he helped. He saw Eddie beginning to doze off, she had to be exhausted after her failed skiing attempt and kicking butt at pool. "Eddie," Jamie whispered. "Hey, you want me to stop?"

"No, no don't stop, keep going…feel so good, you feel so good," Eddie sighed and shut her eyes in pleasure.

Jamie got on his knees and straddled Eddie. He leaned with all his strength using his wrists to break up the knots. "You are so good at this," Eddie sighed. "You're…oh…that spot…ouch!"

"Breathe into it,' Jamie replied. "Take a deep breath." Jamie worked the knot in her bottom and slid her arms down his legs to her feet. "Roll over," Jamie whispered. "I'm going to love you…I want to love you so bad."

Eddie too was aroused by the stimulation, she rolled over on her back and put her feet on the bed and opened her legs as much as it could.

Jamie crawled up the bed, settling his body between Eddie's open thighs. Eddie slowly undressed Jamie, not focusing on tickling or anything else but the feeling of his body next to hers, his warmth, his loving and soft touch.

Jamie placed feather light kisses on her cheeks and her lips. Jamie loved how she responded to him how she would open up and hold tight to him. Jamie shifted his hips, "Are you sure you're okay? You hurt…"

"You heal," Eddie replied. "Love me…"

Jamie obliged her, kissing her softly, moving his hips to seal their love. Eddie was too sore to join in much, Jamie helped her lifting her bottom up and down, helping her meet his hot flesh.

Eddie's eye rolled back, there was an ecstasy in this, in Jamie's control of her whole body. She felt him inside of her, his essence spilling over…her own coated him, their fluids joined as their heart beat as one.

Eddie tucked her head into Jamie's shoulder, "You know…after that incredible massage, and this…I still ache from head to toe."

Jamie laughed, "You know what you need, a soak in the hot springs. Did you bring your suit? We can go and soak, natural water…under the stars. You think you can walk there?"

"Yeah, I'm a little loosened up, the hot springs sound great…" Eddie rolled over and gave Jamie a kiss. "I'll get dressed."


	94. Chapter 94

Chapter Ninety Four

Eddie had got herself a new pink bikini just for this occasion. She slid it on under a cover up while Jamie put on his bathing suit. In the chalet robes, they headed to the hot springs, hoping and finding they were alone. Jamie helped Eddie off with her robe and held her hand as they stepped into the warm natural water. Jamie sat in next to Eddie, putting his arms around her.

"This I can get used to, hot steaming water, a soak with you so close to me, laying my head on your chest,' Eddie replied. "And it feels so good on my back."

Jamie massaged her back again through her suit, he found the strings and slowly began to work them out. Jamie pulled Eddie across his lap and wrapped her in his arms. There was something erotic about the cold air and the warm water that stirred both of their bodies. Eddie worked Jamie's suit off quickly and took him into her hand for a sensual massage. They were both involved with each other, their minds not focused on external sounds, so they were not prepared when, "Jamie, Eddie!" Tina called as she and Lou approached the hot springs in their robes. "We have been looking all over for you two. Where have you been keeping yourselves."

"Uh," Jamie began looking at Tina and Lou. "We've been trying to keep to ourselves, we are on a little couples' vacation…the two of us." He hoped they got the hint this time. They didn't.

Jamie and Eddie watched in horror as they both opened the robes, simultaneously and let them drop exposing every single part of their body to Jamie and Eddie's view. Eddie had seen her share, this one surprised her. Jamie's eyes bugged out as well, he turned his head to look at Eddie. She turned her head back to him, "Do we run?" she whispered.

"I'm naked,' Jamie replied. "But yeah, we'll give them a thrill, just not sure which one will get the thrill."

"I don't think they swing both ways," Eddie whispered. 'But Lou is losing an eye or a nut if he comes near me."

"Let's go…' Jamie got up "We'll see you around, we were just getting out. Eddie's sore from the slopes, she needs a good night sleep."

Jamie took Eddie's hand, stood up with his swimsuit in his hand. He heard Tina catcall him, "Oh Jamie…we'll meet again when Eddie's feeling better…Very impressive…"

Jamie and Eddie quickened their steps, he stumbled in the mud, landing face first, getting dirt all over himself.

Eddie helped him up and covered him with the robes as they escaped again. They hoped they could leave the room again without an encounter, enough was enough.

"We need to find another hotel," Jamie sighed as he rinsed the mud off himself. "We can get a Days Inn or something, those two are crazy and when he had his hands on you today…"

"You were jealous," Eddie smiled. "That's so cute, you were jealous of him. You get this adorable cleft in your chin when you get mad about other guys looking at me."

"You are mine," Jamie replied. He turned around and his body stirred for her again. Eddie smiled. "I love you so much. You make my heart pound, and you make my spirit soar. No one else can be what you are to me."

Jamie brushed Eddie's cheek, "No one else," he whispered and gave her a gentle kiss. 'But my blood boils when I see another man touching you, even Tom."

Eddie nodded, "I know, that'll be over soon. You want to get some sleep now that you're cleaned off?" Even as she asked the question, Eddie was sliding down his body.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asked feeling her fingers brush against him.

She didn't reply; she only smiled.

Jamie felt his legs buckle as Eddie's tongue bathed his skin lightly. Jamie had to hold onto the sink to keep from collapsing under the ecstasy. Eddie's lips on his flesh made his body ache, and his heart…Jamie felt his pulse in his temples, his chest, the souls of his feet, such was the intensity of his reaction. Jamie melted as Eddie continued, he felt his body giving way, he was unable to hold back his reaction to her charms.

They leaned on one another for support, both of their legs weak and tired, Eddie from skiing, Jamie's from…Eddie. They barely had time to wrap around one another before they fell asleep in each other's arms, the way they hoped they would more nights than not.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Jamie asked Eddie as they sat at their favorite pancake place sharing from their plates. "I think we're packed until massages later and maybe dinner at that honkey tonk you found."

"That sounds good," Eddie smiled and played with the straw in her orange juice glass.

"What's the matter?" Jamie asked. "Hiding out from Lou and Tina getting to you?"

"No, they're just funny," Eddie laughed. "She really wants you, not that I blame her. I'm just thinking about our sex life, actually."

That got Jamie's attention and looked at her with questioning eyes. "You're not satisfied?"

"Oh no, no…" Eddie assured quickly. 'I'm very satisfied believe me. You are the most incredible lover I have ever met. I was just thinking how it's changed. Since we started to work on our friendship again and get closer to each other…it's changed, it evolved…"

Jamie smiled, "Yeah it has." He kissed the back of her hand. "Oh, you taste like berries."

"That's one good thing to taste like. I'm going to miss you a lot today," Eddie sighed. "I don't mine the seminars when we are together."

'Me neither, but we have couple's massage and a nice dinner coming," Jamie replied.

"Yes," Eddie agreed. "I'm serious though, about the love making. We are so deeply connected now, I can feel it, I can sense it when you need me, I can sense that I'm satisfying you. There's a new kind of magic for me, and I sense it in you too."

Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie softly, "It is magic…I've always said when we connect we make the earth move. We are a force to be reckoned with, and tonight I have some great plans."

Anytime Jamie said he had plans, it was always something special. Eddie reached over and plucked a piece of bacon off his plate. "That's always a good time. We better get moving back to the chalet, the faster we go to the conferences that faster we can get clear. I'll meet you by our closet for a kiss at lunch."

"I'll be there, give me a kiss now?" Eddie was happy to oblige him with a soft yet stirring kiss that was a promise of things to come.

The speakers seemed to drone on and on that day, it was nearly impossible to pay attention thinking of the time they would share together. Eddie kept tapping her pen, bouncing her foot, even blowing stray hair out of her face, while Jamie just stared out the window like he did in college. The second hand on the clock seemed to move like the hour hand, one tick at a time…inching towards the lunch hour.

Eddie was not waiting at the closet when Jamie arrived, her seminar must have run long, or so he thought. As he waited, the closet door opened slowly, and Eddie's hand slid out. She captured Jamie's hand and tugged. "The kiss I want to give you can't be giving in public."

Jamie smiled as Eddie tugged at his shirt collar, bringing his lips to hers. Her tongue slowly licked the inside of his lips, sighing with contentment at the connection. Jamie began to laugh, 'How are you and I going to survive when we get back to New York and have to work for a living?"

"We'll know that it's not stolen chances then, and our relationship and life will evolve even more. It's so special now, when we have each other full time, it'll be a different kind of special."

Jamie brushed her hair back "Yes it will. You're a different kind of special."

The next half hour was spent kissing and hugging, holding onto one another. "Our massages are at three, so we'll have to meet at the spa," Eddie told Jamie. ""I checked, and we'll be in the same room, our planned bond for today. I think that is really making everything else go like clockwork!"

Jamie smiled, "Thought that worked like clockwork from the start?"

"It did, this is like Swiss clock work," Eddie laughed. "I love you I'll see you later. I bet the therapist isn't as good as you were though."

Jamie winked, "No one is…"

Eddie broke into laughter as she slapped at him.

Jamie met Eddie outside the spa and took a quick kiss and hug. "That was the most boring day," Eddie laughed. "I was in the first row."

"Why? They seat you in size order?" Jamie joked and got a jab in the ribs.

"Oh, you are so funny…" Eddie rolled her eyes. "No, because it was the seat closest to the door, but I'd have waited a few minutes to get out if I knew the guy was going to spit when he talked. Yuck!"

Eddie made a face that caused Jamie to laugh. She was grouchy, not playfully so. "We'll have a nice day and night. Let's relax, have a good massage, a nice dinner. You can wash your face…"

They were called back and shown where to change, "Your therapist will come and get you when you are finished changing and come bring you to your room. There's water and tea if you want to have any refreshment before your treatment."

They thanked the receptionist and then headed to change into the spa issue robes. Jamie hated community robes, it bugged him that he didn't know for sure if the items were washed first. Eddie loved the luxury of them, she felt they were a huge cottony hug. The therapist moved her to her room, "Your boyfriend will be in shortly. We can just get you warmed up while we're waiting."

Jamie's therapist, also a female, led him to the room. Eddie was already lying down, her therapist working the muscles of her back. Jamie got settled and looked over and saw brown hair…" Whoa, I'm in the wrong room!" Jamie tried to sit up, but his therapist was already working. "Stop, I'm in the wrong room, that is not Eddie!"

"Oh, don't worry about Eddie," Tina smiled. "She is getting the best massage of her life with Flora and we can have some fun time. It is a lot of fun, I see you two are very…uh, lovey and it helps to keep things fresh…."

"Eddie!" Jamie called out for her. Eddie heard Jamie's call and perked her ears up. "Jamie?" Eddie called back.

Jamie started to get up and pulled his sheet with him. "Jamie!" Tina called as he rolled off the bed. She also got off her table as Jamie was preparing to make a run for it.

"Eddie," Jamie called out as she approached the closed door in her sheet. "Jamie, is that a woman's voice I hear?"

Eddie pushed the door open and was surprised, not shocked to see Tina in the room with Jamie. It was par for the course so far this trip. Eddie put her hand on her hip, letting the sheet drape over her. "Gee, I'm disappointed, where's Lou?"

"This is not funny, Eddie!" Jamie was angry, not entertained by this.

Eddie couldn't help herself, she started to laugh. Her laughter, was as always infections. Jamie began to laugh at how ridiculous they all looked standing in towels in the massage room.

Jamie took a breath, "Okay, maybe this is a little funny, but I want to make sure we have seen the last of these people. We are not interested in your lifestyle and I'm pretty sure manipulating someone else's appointment is against the law."

Jamie's anger brought the manager of the spa, "How can we fix this, Mr. Reagan? I'm sorry you are upset. How can I help you?"

"You can help by making sure we get out couple's massage together! I want a male therapist, she gets a female therapist. Tina, I don't know her last name, somehow got into my massage that should have been with my girlfriend. I don't know what's going on now with this place, but it's getting crazy I can't have time alone with Eddie without…"

"If it's any consolation, these massages are on the house," the manager assured them. "You won't be bothered again. "

"You bet they are on the house," Eddie replied. "I want a woman, he wants a man and not Tina and Lou!"

The manager scampered off to fix the situation while Eddie turned her eyes on Tina, "Listen up, I chased him for six years, I finally have him, and I don't share well. Back off and call your husband off. We are not interested!"

Jamie was smiling as he looked over at Eddie, "that was impressive, kinda turned me on."

Arm in arm, Jamie and Eddie headed for their massages, hoping their rejection curbed Tina and Lou's pursuit.


	95. Chapter 95

Chapter Ninety Five

The manager of the spa set them up for an 80 minute massage instead of the 50 minutes. Even as tense as Jamie was, his muscles were soft and pliable. When he and Eddie left the room, hand in hand, their legs felt like jelly. Eddie leaned on Jamie as they walked to the chalet, "I have to feel sorry for Tina and Lou," she said as they strolled. "To be so dissatisfied with your life and your own marriage that you have to swap wives and lives to be happy."

Jamie kissed her head, "I don't know, but it's hard to feel bad for people that force themselves on you."

"I can see it both ways, we've both been that miserable in our lives, we had each other, they don't have that."

Jamie and Eddie were still debating this as they changed for dinner. "How's your sore legs?"

"Achy but this is our Montana and we only have a few nights left. We still need to hit all our favorite haunts. Tonight is that honky tonk with the stuffed peppers and the popcorn on the tables. I just need to change and we'll go."

"Isn't that the place with the mechanical bull?" Jamie asked. "Did you promise me if you couldn't do an entire tray of those peppers that you'd ride that thing. There is no way you're going to eat 6 hot stuffed jalapeños?

"And I bet you I can and you can't…whoever fails rides and if we both fail, we both ride. Is it a bet?" Eddie asked, holding his eyes with her own. Jamie smiled.

"You are on…" Eddie shook his hand to seal the deal.

They got to the restaurant and found a booth in the back. Jamie ordered a pitcher of beer and Eddie got the rest of the finger foods. Jamie was already turned on by Eddie, her jeans hugging her bottom, her pink sweater showing her cleavage. He hair was long and loosed, Jamie imagined how hot she would look riding that bull…or even if he lost the bet, riding him.

Eddie polished off two glasses of beer to Jamie's one, he really meant it when he said he was toning it down on the drink. The appetizers came and Eddie looked at he huge plate of hot, stuffed peppers. Jamie reached for his at the same time, "May the best one win…" he toasted with the sip of beer left in his glass.

There were only six peppers, but after only two of them, Eddie was wiping the tears off her face. "Oh, God…How can you eat these?"

Jamie was downing his fourth pepper and working on starting his fifth. Eddie knew she lost this bet.

Jamie sipped the beer to wash down the peppers, "I like spicy food, those got the better of you though."

Eddie shook her head, "Okay, gonna go pay my dues now. You going to watch?"

Jamie stood up, "You bet…I'm not going to miss this for the world."

There were a couple people ahead of her, Eddie watched the motions of the bull, she had to stay on that thing the entire time or she'd embarrass herself. Jamie stood behind her, holding her from around the waist. You don't have to do this, you…"

"Yeah I do, one I always wanted to do it and two you won the bet," Eddie smiled and turned in his arms and kissed him deeply.

Soon it was Eddie's turn, she had about six forms to sign releasing the bar of liability. Eddie signed then got on the bull. The machine started off slow, Eddie's body moved gently its rhythm. She managed to carefully shift her hips and torso to keep up with the motion. They increased the movement of the bull, Eddie moved her hip up and down, her hair was shifting around her face…Jamie was enraptured by her beauty.

He imagined holding her in his arms, moving her with his own body. He imagined the ecstasy, the passion on her face, he soft thighs rubbing against his, her velvety folds clenching him. He felt his pants tighten as he thought of what he planned to do to her after he got her back to the chalet.

Eddie dismounted to cheers and smiles. Two men came over and tried to capture Eddie, Jamie swiftly moved in. "Great job baby!" Jamie kissed Eddie deeply. "Let's get you a drink."

Eddie and Jamie sat on bar stools, she was too thirsty to get back to the table. There were two bartenders on that night, one experienced, and one brand new. She was constantly asking how to make things. Eddie took pity on the young girl when she had to ask her grouchy old boss how to make a Big Hot Hooter.

Eddie recited the recipe from memory, "Tended bar in college, used to clean up in tips and not just from my own hooters. I was a heck of a mixologist."

"No, way you were not!" Jamie laughed. "There's no way you could have done that. It takes years."

"I had years…Hang on…." Eddie slid off her stool and went to speak to the bartender. She smiled, pointed at Jamie, then smiled again. The next thing they new, "Come on back, show us what you've got."

"I bet you another ride on that bull that you can't do it…" Jamie offered. "I bet you another plate of peppers I can!"

"You're on!" Jamie smiled. He could eat those hot peppers all night…but Eddie mixing drinks like a pro…nah…it couldn't be…could it?

Eddie tied her hair in a bun and rolled up her sleeves. The bartender called the drinks. Eddie attacked each one like a hibachi chef. She took the shaker and the glass and juggled them, catching the glass inside the mixer behind her back. After, she poured the liquor, three bottles at a time, not two with exact precision, pulling the two ½ oz measurements back at the same time and letting the 1 oz one linger just a touch more.

Jamie was amazed at how she polished off drink after drink with precision and design. One of the ginger mules she actually tossed the mixer in the air and caught it on her head. It seemed impossible but to Jamie it made her more perfect.

When Eddie finished her show, not only did she receive a standing ovation, but money was being tossed on the bar for her among the hoots. Eddie collected the bills and gave it to the bar tender, "Thanks it was a lot of fun!"

"You keep amazing me tonight" Jamie smiled. "But you amaze me all the time anyway. You're…"

"Ordering you one more plates of peppers," Eddie laughed. "You know, we need to decide what to do with our pool winnings. We can do that while you down those bad boys."

Jamie smiled, he was glad to pay his debts to Eddie and nothing made him happier than making plans with her. "I say we take the money and treat ourselves to a night at the plaza, we can get a package; dinner and show, maybe between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Pop or Anita can mind the kids…"

Jamie smiled "That's sounds like a great idea. We can get a big suite, order room service, order pay per view…"

Eddie laughed, "Horny much?" she asked as they headed into the chalet. She was a bit buzzed, but Jamie was still in total control.

While Jamie changed, Eddie stretched out on the chaise lounger in the room. She pulled off most of her clothing the sensation of the liquor making her body hot. When Jamie stepped out of the bathroom, there she was, in her bra and panties, lying on her side, her body glistening in the lamp light. Jamie's brain went back to the bull, how she looked there, in total sync with the motion of the bull, just as she was always in sycn with him.

Jamie moved close to Eddie and leaned down, she was dozing, and looked so beautiful. Jamie leaned over her and began to kiss her softly. "True love's kiss," he whispered as Eddie stirred and smiled at him. "I was wondering what took you so long in there….Hmm…" Eddie wrapped her arms around Jamie's shoulders. "Oh…let's…right here…"

Jamie was ready for her, he had been dreaming about this for hours now. Eddie wanted him, and he wanted her so badly he could taste it. The night at the bar had been their foreplay, this was their climax, their coupling.

Jamie hooked one arm around Eddie's nearly bare bottom and with two flicks of his wrist, rid her of her bra and panties. He dragged her forward off the chaise and onto his thighs, and thrust upward into her, so hard that she could barely breathe. Her weight aided in her own penetration, pushing her down so that he went even deeper, and she choked on a soft scream.

Jamie groaned, leaning back on his hands so that his body arched powerfully beneath her. "You know what to do," he said from between clenched teeth. "Ride."

She did. Automatically her body responded, rising and falling, just like on the bull, her thighs clasping his hips, flexing as she lifted herself completely off him only to slide back down. She rode him slowly, so that she drove them both wild.

Her body was magic, moving with fluid grace that had always captivated him, be it on the streets, on the dance floor, or on a mechanical bull. She enveloped him with a downward glide, then tormented him with the threat of release as she moved upward again, almost off of him, then back down…He was so hard inside of her and finally she rode him hard, moving fast, impaling herself down onto him. Sensation built unbearably, and he thrust upward, hard. Helplessly she cried out, her sweet inner flesh pulsing and hugging him as she climaxed, twice.

A harsh cry tore out of his throat and he reared up, throwing her back against the chair. He pinned her to it with his weight a she plunged and bucked, spurting hotly into her.

He lay heavily on her, trembling and sweating. His release had been so powerful that he couldn't speak, couldn't think. She always did that to him, she left him a trembling mess. Sometime later a measure of strength returned to his muscles and he withdrew from her, bringing a wordless protest from her lips. He stood and kicked his pants off, then lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He stretched out on the bed beside her, and she curled into his embrace and went to sleep. Jamie buried his face against her hair and let the darkness claim him too.

Eddie was still laughing when she and Jamie got back to the chalet the next afternoon. They had spent the day ice skating, or she had. Eddie had taken lessons as a girl and was pretty adept in pair until it came time to start to jump. She was too short and too top heavy to ever get off the ground. It was that and fear as well…

Still, her edges and figures were as good as ever. Jamie, on the other hand, had an impossible time staying on his feet. He spent more time attached to her hand or sitting on the ice than actually skating on it. It was hysterically funny to see him flopping around like a fish, trying to get traction on the ice.

"You just don't have the ankle strength," Eddie told Jamie as she helped him off with his shoes. That was only part of his issue, the other part was he was distracted. He had plans for that night to top any of their other plans, tonight was the culmination, the climax of this trip to Montana, of all the trips and their dates.

"Guess not and now…" Jamie sighed. "My foot…the skates were murder on my bad arch, do you think you could rub it for me. I think there's some massage oil in the bathroom. I'm sorry, honey."

"No worries, I'll fix you right up." Eddie headed to get the oil and realized they didn't have any. "Jamie, you didn't bring anything honey. Do you hurt that bad? I can get some?"

Jamie sighed, truth was he knew they didn't have any and his foot barely hurt. He needed Eddie to head out so that he could set up for tonight. He had worked with the staff to set up room service by candlelight, soft music, and of course his gift, he just completed it that morning.

"Could you baby?" Jamie asked. "I'll ice in the meantime, I don't want this foot to screw up the rest of Montana, or anything to come after."

"You won't," Eddie replied. "I'll be gone twenty minutes, okay. I love you. Rest your foot, we'll have dinner in the lodge, not a lot of walking okay?"

Jamie kissed Eddie's lips, "Okay," he smiled. She wasn't going to know what hit her.


	96. Chapter 96

Chapter Ninety Six

As soon as he was sure Eddie was gone, Jamie grabbed his outfit for the night, Eddie's outfit, and the scrapbook he was giving as a gift. He hurried up and out to one of the exclusive suites. The chefs were setting up the dinner, a collection of the finest appetizers on the menu. Asparagus and prosciutto, chicken wrapped in bacon…Eddie's mouth would water over the food for sure. He took care with every aspect of this night, it had to be perfect.

Eddie drove around for fifteen minutes looking for a store that had what Jamie needed. She finally found it at the third store she went to and headed back to the lodge. When Eddie got to their room and let herself inside, it was empty. Jamie wasn't there, most of their toiletries were gone too. "Where did he go, I was only gone a little while."

Eddie combed the room and saw a small note and key card on the dresser near the phone. She picked up the note, written on hotel stationary, in Jamie's hand. "Room 183, back of the main house, double doors. See you soon. XOXO Jamie.

Eddie smiled, he was up to something again and that usually meant she was in for the time of her life.

Eddie carried the drug store bag and her purse to the room and used the key to get inside. When the door opened, there was Jamie, dressed in blue silk lounge pajamas with gold pinstripes and a smoking jacket, though he didn't have a cigar, thank God. There was champagne, chilling, four plates of food under domes, a candlelight dinner for two…Eddie's eyes teared up at the gesture.

Jamie closed the gap and kissed her softly, "Sorry, I had to get you to leave so I could…." Eddie silenced him with a kiss of her own.

"Oh, Jamie, this is so perfect. It…."

"It is what you deserve, a perfect night…for my one and only soulmate…" He kissed her again, "There's a gift for you on the bed, go open it…get comfortable."

Eddie loved gifts and this one could only make an already wonderful night even better.

Eddie carefully opened the box and pulled out a pretty lilac negligee and matching lace robe. "Oh, Jamie…this is beautiful. I love the color. When did you pick this out?"

"I got it in New York before we left," Jamie replied. "I love how it brings out your eyes."

Eddie kissed Jamie's lips and hugged him, "Thank you, this is already becoming the most incredible night. Let me go change and we'll dig into that food, it smells incredible."

Eddie quickly changed into the soft silk and stepped out of the bathroom, barefoot, hair pulled back but not up and smiled at Jamie. She was beautiful, more beautiful than he imagined she would be.

Jamie picked her up and spun her around, giving her a kiss before setting her down by the table. "First a toast to us…" Jamie popped the cork and filled their glasses. He would only have one glass, but he wanted to toast this night. "To friendship, to love, to trust, and most of all soulmates."

Eddie smiled, "To soulmates…"

They clinked their glasses then Jamie opened the domes revealing finger foods of all varieties. Eddie was impressed. Jamie fed her a bit of the chicken and bacon, when he sampled them it was his favorite for sure. "Oh, this is so good," Eddie's eyes rolled back. "Sitting here with you, lounging by candles, champagne, appetizers. What do you want?" Eddie teased.

Jamie laughed, "Just you…and me to make an incredible memory. Bite?"

Eddie kissed Jamie and offered him a bit of sushi, crab and cucumber. They shared a kiss around the bite, Jamie pulled Eddie from her chair to his lap. "This is much better."

With her head on his shoulder, Eddie agreed.

After they each sampled some of the food and champagne, Jamie moved Eddie back to her chair. The violin and piano music played, "Dance with me."

Jamie stood up and took Eddie into his arms. He swayed back and forth with her in his arms, his cheek pressed to hers. Eddie shut her eyes and inhaled, tonight was so special. Jamie had a knack for this kind of thing. They had two more nights left, the memories of this Montana would go down as some of the best.

The last one, while beautiful, had been hindered by Jamie's injuries and stress from his marriage to Claudia. He'd worried about his son, he worried about going home, this time though it was perfect, it was all they dreamed it to be.

Jamie was a little nervous, all the time and planning had paid off so far, but if the rest of it didn't go off perfectly the entire purpose would be for naught. Jamie smiled and snuggled Eddie close, he felt his pulse racing and not just from her proximity. It was time, if he waited much longer he might lose his nerve.

Jamie settled Eddie in a chair, "Sit tight, I'll be right back."

Jamie went and checked the scrapbook, all the pages were perfect, just like he planned. In the back was his latest letter to Eddie, he couldn't wait for her to read it, and to give her the ring on the final back page. He hoped she's see it his way, that she'd agree to wear the ring.

Jamie had the book wrapped in pink tissue with a bow on the top. "This is for you, I worked on it for a while. I kept it with me on the plane, so I didn't lose it, I hope you like it."

Eddie took the present and carefully ripped the tissue. She slowly opened the book's cover, "Jamie. You made this?"

The first page had their baby pictures, and the caption, "Good looking from the start…" There were a couple more pages of them parallel, first day of school, graduation, first day at the academy, then in blue script it read, "My life changed…"

Eddie was totally engrossed in the scrap book. There was a picture of her and Jamie leaning against the squad car, both smiling. There was one at her medal ceremony, she had never noticed the way Jamie's eyes sparkled when they pinned the medal to her chest. She struggled so much over that one, the first shot…it had been the right call. She knew that now, she was proud now of her ability to do her job that day.

Eddie was engrossed as she flipped through the pages she didn't see Jamie was moving. He was preparing for her to get to that last page.

He had sectioned off each year of their partnership, the great things they did, the rough times they had, the major things they accomplished as partners.

There was a picture of each of them getting their medals when they took down two robbers during a double date. It was as seamless as their pool game the other day, silent communication. Not too long after it all went wrong.

There were pictures of Max and April's births, their first birthdays, some of the four of them together, there were pictures of them in Montana, some very intimate shots, their foreheads pressed together, their eyes locked, most courtesy of Kara.

Eddie's eyes were shining with tears, she stopped when she turned to the final page and saw Jamie's handwritten letter.

 _Dearest Eddie,_

 _Our life together so far has been extraordinary. We have come from being partners, to being friends, to finally, against the odds being lovers. Two years ago, we came together for the first time and I felt our souls join. We were both struggling then, but like a phoenix from the ashes we rose up from the pain and hurt to make a strong and solid bond of hearts, bodies, minds, and souls._

 _Today, as I write this letter, I see so many images of you not captured on film; your laughing as you beat me in darts, the one time you did, the look on your face when we rescued you from the back of the car after your kidnapping, the total trust you had in me that day…and later, the tears in your eyes while I held your hand._

 _We have been through so much together, and I look forward to being with you through so much more, good times and bad. I see you in my mind's eye cuddling Max while he was sick, holding April as she calls out "Mew mew…" Our children, our family…our life…_

 _My heart bursts with love for you and for them. I can't imagine my life any other way but with you in it._

 _Love,_

 _Jamie_

 _PS – Look at the back cover then look up._

Eddie turned to the final page, and saw a beautiful gold band, surrounded with diamonds. Eddie's eyes lifted, tears streaming from her cheeks. Jamie was before her, on one knee, "Is this…"

Jamie smiled gently and took both of her hands in his. "I know you're legally married to someone else right now. It breaks my heart that I couldn't get this right years ago, but I want you to accept this ring and wear it between the rings you're wearing now, you'll know it's always there, but it won't be visible to others. I want you to know that this ring is my promise to you to bring our family together. I will replace it with an engagement ring as soon as we can marry. In my heart we're already married I want you to have this ring on your finger to always remind you that you belong to me, and I belong to you. Will you wear it?"

Eddie smiled, "Yes…I will, yes."

Jamie undid the ring from the ribbon and slid it on Eddie's finger. Her hands were shaking as tears ran through her cheeks. Jamie kissed her hand where the ring was cradled, "I love you," he murmured his voice tight with his own emotion.

"I love you too," Eddie sighed and slid her arms around his shoulders, their lips softly meeting in their first soulful kiss with Jamie's ring on Eddie's finger, where it belonged.

Jamie ran his fingertips underneath the straps of Eddie's nightie, caressing the soft skin of her shoulders, their lips brushing against each other in soft gentle strokes. She slid her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and threaded her fingers into his hair. He slid his hands down to rest on her waist, he held her tight to his chest and tipped her lips up for kisses.

Gently, Jamie slid the negligee off Eddie's body. The material made a soft hiss when it hit the floor. She pushed the robe off his body, then slowly worked the pajama top off. She dipped her head and kissed a trail up his stomach from his naval to jaw. She placed kisses along his jaw up to his ear and sighed into his mouth.

Jamie began to steer Eddie to the bed. He had the sheets turned back and the overheard lighting on. The candlelight set off Eddie's hair and smile, she was his now, she was his.

Jamie gently laid Eddie on the bed, he looked down at her and studied her nakedness, there was nothing more beautiful.

They didn't rush their mating. They moved slowly, gently exploring each other, their love making ritual old but also very new. He leaned over her as her small hands slid the lounge pants off his slim hips.

They laid together, skin to skin, nothing between them but the heat of their bodies. Their kisses were gentle, holding the promise of a new day and a new life together.

Jamie caressed Eddie's breast from the inside out, the skin was soft, but her nipples hard. They begged for his attention, Jamie bent his head and took the orb into his mouth. Eddie sighed and held Jamie's head with gentle hands, enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin.

She slid her hands down his buttocks, massaging the firm cheeks, each of their actions were designed to bring the other closer, to pull inward, to keep a piece inside the other when they weren't holding onto each other.

He slid down her body, kissing along her belly, his tongue bathed her belly button, while his hands weighed her breasts, feeling the silky flesh.

"Jamie..." Eddie sighed. "Oh…I need…"

"I know…we both do, we both need," he whispered. "But not yet, I want to remember…"

"Cherish,' she murmured.

He touched her lips once again, tasted them, pressed past them, felt the desire in him flame as he took in the sweetness and the warmth of her. Jamie ran the most seductive touch he could manage, down the bareness of her leg, caressing the opening near her thighs. He softly and gently caressed the rise of her hip, he drew small circles with his fingertips.

He swept an arm around her, bringing her fully against him. The length of his body shuddered. He found her lips again. He stroked the rim of them with his tongue, parried between them. He heard a soft moan rumbling in her throat. Her hands pressed upon his shoulders then went still. Her fingertips dug slightly into his flesh.

He kissed her lips, stroking her softly, feeling the sensual softness of her skin. Hunger seared through them. Her hand moved fervently over his sex, he gasped and trembled massively against her touch. A soft, fervent cry escaped from him. His fingers combed through her hair. He caught her hands and held them firmly with his own. She moaned softly. Her head began to toss, her body to writhe.

She was ready and so was he. Eddie tossed her head, "Jamie, I can't take it anymore…" She was begging him.

He was happy to oblige her, Jamie leaned over Eddie and sealed their lips and their bodies together. They rocked together, her body pulling his life force into hers, her body washing his with warmth. Her hips bucked, his thrusted repeatedly until they lay cuddled and spent in each other's arms.

As their breathing went back to normal, Jamie and Eddie faced each other, their hands clasped together. Jamie stroked Eddie's hair as she admired her ring. "So, I guess the first thing is you have to talk to Tom,' Jamie whispered. "We want and deserve our family, and that only happens one way."

"I know that, when we get back to New York I'll take care of it. I have to be careful, he's a good man but he might…"

"He won't," Jamie assured her. "We'll have our family, me, you, Max and April. I have such dreams for that, such plans for the kids, you know?"

Eddie pecked Jamie's nose. 'I do too I don't want to be one of those mother's that pushes her kids, but they have such talent. Max, I want to see his name in lights playing Carnegie Hall at 16 and April…she's got so much of Tom in her, so much intelligence, and his calm demeanor. I'm never that calm, she has a little temper too though. A slow burn…more like me there."

"Our kids are going to be something," Jamie smiled. 'They are going to be so special and if we have more kids, they'll have their own special things too. Do you want a bigger family?"

Eddie sighed, "I do, I really do! I want to have a child with you, to have every experience together, not just bits here and there. I'm getting older, it might not be as easy but to have your child, our child. I'll do anything."

Jamie smiled, he did want at least one child with Eddie if that was in the cards, but they had a beautiful family nonetheless.

They discussed housing, their work, and decided a nice home in Fort Hamilton would be ideal for them, good neighborhood, close to family and work, but not in Bay Ridge so they had some privacy. "When should we tell the family?" Eddie asked. "Now or when I'm legally divorced. Tom has to be the first to know but…"

"I think we can let Danny and Kara in on the secret," Jamie replied. "They got us pretty far with their support but for the rest of them let's come out as a couple first, before we discuss engagements. With some of my family, it will be easier that way, believe me."

Eddie knew Erin could be very opinionated and her daughter, through Danny, had a reputation too. Still, not even a couple of opinionated relatives would diminish this moment. They had worked too long and hard to get here.

"We need to celebrate," Eddie said as Jamie shifted her to him and held her even closer. "That place, The Martini Bar…they have great food, maybe tomorrow after the conference?"

Jamie smiled, "Tomorrow it is. I'm glad you said yes, I was a little nervous. I even said so to Mrs. Williams on the plane."

Eddie arched her eyebrows,

"This sweet old lady that I met on the plane, she's from here, told me about her husband that passed away a few years ago. I told her all about us and she felt that we are soulmates like them." Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie's cheek. "We are too, she was right."

Eddie kissed Jamie's lips then slid out of the bed to get the book. Together, they looked over the pictures of their life to date, Eddie shot a selfie of them, "Put that with the letter, the caption, she said yes!"

The conferences dragged the next day. Eddie and Jamie were both riding high from their pre-engagement and looking forward to their celebration that night. Eddie skipped the last conference to get her hair done and change her clothes. They had reservations at the Martini Bar at 6.


	97. Chapter 97

Chapter Ninety Seven

Eddie put her hair up the way Jamie loved, so he had the pleasure of taking it down later. She fixed it with her silver comb then slid into her tight fitting, midnight blue pencil dress. It was off the shoulder with a sweetheart neck line. Eddie chose a reasonably high heeled black pump, simple gold hoop earring and on her hand wore only Jamie's ring.

When Jamie got back she was already dressed, she had his charcoal suit laid out with a midnight blue shirt. "We're going to match?" he asked as he changed.

"Yes, we're engaged now, engaged people match," Eddie replied. "This place has a great reputation, a piano singer, it's going to be a lot of fun. You look great too."

Jamie stood back and surveyed his pre-fiancée. The dress hugged her body in all the right places showing off her bust line, curvy hips, and beautiful delicate neck. If Jamie had his way, he'd have here then and there but there was time for that, Eddie wanted to celebrate and that is what they would do.

The Martini Bar was off the beaten path, a little dark, a touch smoky, but the music got their attention first. They were taken to their table and offered samples of several flavors, Jamie was careful, martinis spelled olive and he and olives did not mix well. He sampled the chocolate, the watermelon, and the house special the Long Island Iced Tea Martini…He felt after just a few, sips, he was going too far, that was not a promise he was willing to break.

Jamie smiled at Eddie as she tasted her martini. She smiled and licked her lips. It was a lovely day, a happy day, a grand day for celebration. Eddie touched her glass to Jamie's, "To our life together."

Jamie smiled, "To our life…"

The singer at the piano was singing the classics, Jamie got up to tip her and request their song, little did he know while he was going to the bathroom, Eddie tipped the girl $100, "May I borrow your piano and microphone, I am a pretty fair singer and I want to sing a special song for my fiancée."

The pianist smiled and got up, "I needed a break anyway. Knock 'em dead. Congratulations."

Eddie sat at the bench and waited until she saw Jamie return to the table. She played an attention getting chord and smiled her best smile. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to dedicate this song to my dear fiancée Jamie, the man that is sitting that table with a blank look on his face. I love you more than my own life, this song is for you."

Eddie began to play an old classic, perfect for their relationship and perfect for the setting. In her lovely, clear voice she began to sing to Jamie.

It had to be you, it had to be you

I wandered around and finally found, that somebody who

Could make me be true

Could make me feel blue

And even be glad just to be sad, thinking of you

Some others I've seen

Might never be mean

Might never be cross, or try to be boss

But they wouldn't do

For nobody else gave me a thrill

With all your faults, I love you still

It had to be you, wonderful you

It had to be you

Jamie's eyes filled with tears, that Eddie would do this for him. He walked over to the piano with pride, sat down on the bench with Eddie and began to sing the final verses with her, albeit off key. Their chemistry though made a beautiful sound even with Jamie's tone deafness. When the song was over they sat, foreheads pressed together, listening to the applause but feeling it, not just hearing it. It had to be them, they were meant for each other, and soon their union would be sealed by God himself.

"That was lovely," the pianist praised. "Here, I should give you a tip for bringing down the house." She handed Eddie the money back. "Please go on the dance floor, your fiancé requested I serenade you."

She sat back down and did not notice when Eddie slid the $100 back into the jar. The intro to Wonderful World began to play as Jamie pulled Eddie into his arms and swirled her around. "You could have been on Broadway with a voice like that. You sang so beautifully." He pressed his lips to her forehead and smiled.

Eddie followed Jamie's lead around the floor. He smiled at her and kissed her hair. "I can't wait until you are my wife. I need you so much, to not have you in my arms…"

"I know, I know…" Eddie sighed. "I can't wait to be your wife, to be Max's Mommy for real like he wished last Mother's Day. I hoped for this year but…"

"We'll make a wonderful Mother's Day for you, you can even come to the house," Jamie offered. "Be a part of the family, we don't have to mention the engagement, just that we are in love and want to be together."

The song ended, and they returned to the table. Several couples sent them drinks to celebrate, Eddie saw Jamie scanning the room for Tina and Lou. "Don't worry, I think we've seen the last of those two, your face is always hysterical when they show up though."

"It can be, but this is our time and I don't want it ruined by anyone for any reason."

Jamie kissed Eddie's hand, "How's your steak?"

"Very good, so tender," Eddie smiled, "It melts in your mouth, this is a repeat place, next Montana."

Jamie took a breath, "Next Montana? Will we still be having Montanas after…"

"Oh, sure," Eddie replied. "I think it's really important that between the kids, our jobs, and regular life we have these little getaways, these times together. We will need it to keep the marriage strong, and where better to go than where it all got started right?"

"Right," Jamie replied. "I do love it here, and there are so many places we should see. Some with the kids too, they are going to be the cutest brother and sister…"

"They are and hopefully when our baby comes, they'll be protective and guide and love him or her."

"I know they will, we've had our share of difficulties, Eddie. From here on out it's going to be smooth sailing," Jamie assured her.

Eddie hoped he was right.

Jamie carried Eddie over the threshold, she took off her shoes in the car and Jamie took her into his arms carrying her around to the hotel room. They had the wonderful honeymoon suite one more night, Jamie took Eddie directly to the king size bed and lay her down.

There was no reason to speak, they knew their bodies were going to come together in love and lust. They were old hands now at undressing each other while kissing each other deeply. Jamie smiled when he saw Eddie's hair as he loved, she rarely wore it down anymore. Jamie stroked it, let the silken strands slip through his fingers. She stroked his back and chest, their lips not parting for idle words.

The pencil dress seamed to melt off, Jamie suit disappeared. They could not only communicate in silence with their eyes, but also with their hands and their lips. When Eddie moved her head back, Jamie knew it meant that she wanted him to suckle her neck. When Jamie laid his head on her chest, she knew he wanted to lose himself in the creamy softness of her breasts.

He did that tonight, he inhaled her scent, and laid still listening to the beating of her heart. Her hands slid down Jamie's back, she held him too her, just relishing in the feel of their bodies together.

When they finally became one, Eddie sighed in true contentment. Jamie moaned in pleasure…they loved each other, and it showed in all they did, especially this.

"So next year," Eddie replied. "We'll come back here, hopefully to get married and each anniversary and maybe around Memorial Day cause it's in the middle of Mother's Day, Father's Day, Max's birthday and mine…then maybe around November, between your birthday and April's, sometimes us, sometimes the family."

"Yes, to all of it," Jamie chuckled. "What about work? Are you going to keep up with SVU or…?"

"I'd like to, but April and Max are little, and I won't have Anita to help out as much. I might have to take a longer leave and be their mother for a while, just their mother. Maxy is such a sensitive little one."

"Claudia and Andrew…they weren't the calmest people,' Jamie replied. "I'm hoping that the nurture part will overtake the nature, but he is very emotional and sensitive. He's lucky, he's getting a very good mother. I'll be whatever you need me to be to April, I won't be her father, she has a good father, but I want to be involved in her life. I want to be someone special to her."

Eddie smiled, 'You will be. You're Dada, already. You know, she doesn't say that to Tom, I'm Mama and Anita is Eetee, and you are Dada…"

"When we get back, I want to do some special time with her, build a good rapport," Jamie replied. "Maybe the I can take her to visit the canine unit, they have visitor days when they get new dogs and lots of the handlers have kids. Maybe that?"

"She loves animals, Flipper is her favorite show so yes, that might be nice for you to do with her, I'd love for you to bond with her." Eddie snuggled closer to Jamie. "April is lucky, she'll have two good men as daddies."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her head, "And a wonderful Mommy. Thank you, for loving me and my son…as if he was your own."

"It's easy to love you both," Eddie replied, her eyes starting to doze.

"Easy to love you too," Jamie whispered and did the same.

Jamie woke to Eddie softly tugging his hand, "Come on get up, we have to get ready," she prompted him.

Jamie opened one eye and looked at the clock, "It's only 7, we have an hour and a half before breakfast. Come back to bed."

"No, come on…we need to shower," Eddie kissed Jamie's head. "I want to do it together, I'll let you play with my hair…"

Jamie opened his other eyes and noticed Eddie was naked, staring down at him with a wicked smile. "I like how you think" he replied and got up following her hand in hand to the shower.

Eddie started the hot and steamy spray and stepped in, Jamie joined her a minute later and pulled her close under the showerhead. The water ran down their bodies and their mouths met in a passionate kiss. Eddie reached for the Irish Spring and lathered Jamie's body up and down. She loved his back and chest, she spent a lot of time there working in small circles, massaging the muscles as well as washing the body.

Jamie reached for the newest bottles of Eddie's brand of shampoo and body wash. This was a cherry vanilla flavor, they both loved the aroma. Jamie poured some of the shampoo into his palm and began to gently massage Eddie's hair. While one hand worked on her golden locks, the other massaged her breast. His lips kissed her neck, Eddie leaned back into Jamie's body, melting into him.

"This was a very good idea," Jamie replied. "I love nothing more than washing your hair, so beautiful."

Eddie smiled, "You see, sometimes when I wake you up it's for fun." She turned in Jamie's arms kissing his lips with the shampoo on her hair and his hand still caressing the sensitive skin of her breast.

Their kisses became more and more urgent, the cooler the water, the hotter the passion. Jamie turned Eddie, so he could keep her close and rinse her hair at the same time. Eddie's body was ready, her sex throbbing and pulsing. She felt Jamie against her, wanting her and needing her as badly as she needed him. Jamie hoisted Eddie up at the same time as she jumped onto him. Eddie's legs fastened around Jamie's hips. He dipped her so that his hard member could slide into her silky softness.

His lips muffled her cries, with the echo of the tile, her screams would have alerted others to her ecstasy if not for his efforts. As their bodies climaxed, their legs gave way, he slowly edged her down to the shower floor. Jamie turned off the spray and held Eddie there until their breathing settled and his strength returned as he helped her up into his arms.

"Wasn't that worth waking up for?" Eddie asked snuggled to his bare chest.

"Best wakeup call…" Jamie sighed. He meant it.


	98. Chapter 98

Chapter Ninety Eight

After the first round of conferences, Eddie met Jamie for lunch then broke off to her own room to get a change of clothing, the sweater she had on was too warm for that day. She had the perfect one in the room. "I'll meet you in our room, we have an hour before check out in there." Eddie gave Jamie a kiss and headed to her assigned suite, she had not slept there the entire trip.

The last thing Eddie expected was for a person to be in her room and for that person to be Tom. Edie gasped, "Tom, what are you doing here? Is April okay?" Eddie began to panic as a mother this was so unexpected.

"April's fine, she's home with Anita,' Tom replied. "She's fine, I'm here to take you away. There's a beautiful ski lodge a few miles up, I got us the honeymoon suite. It's been so long, Eddie. I miss you so much."

This was a switch. Usually Tom was busy with Sue, she was free to go about her life with Jamie and all was well. Now, Tom was here, and she had no choices left. Her bags were packed. This was no joke, and…it suddenly dawned on her, her diamond and wedding bands were in the safe in the other room.

"Wow, that is really sweet of you," Eddie smiled and accepted his kiss. It was like a knife in her heart, Tom was kissing her, and Jamie was waiting for her. This was their last full day and now…

"Nothing's too good for my girl," Tom replied. "I love you, and I have done a lousy job of showing it. I'm going to do better starting now."

Eddie's heart plummeted, "I'm not available just yet, I just came in to change, a lighter sweater, I'll…I'll be back after I'm finished."

Eddie gave him a quick peck to placate him then hurried to the suite where Jamie was to meet her. Eddie ran to the safe, her hands were shaking. What was the damn code she picked?

"Eddie!" Jamie called out as he got to the room. "I checked us out, we just need to leave the key on the dresser and housekeeping will return it."

"Jamie…in here!" Eddie called. He could tell by the sound of her voice this was no booty call. She was panicked.

Jamie stepped into the closet, "Eddie what…"

"Tom's here!" she gasped out. "He's here, in my room with my stuff packed and I can't remember the combination to the stupid safe. What are we going to do? This is our Montana…"

Jamie grabbed Eddie's shoulders and cuddled her close to him, "Take a breath, we knew this might happen sooner or later. Just take a deep breath for me. We can work it out."

"How?" Eddie asked. "He's going to want me to sleep with him, Jamie. I won't, I promise you. I can't sleep with him, I have to tell him!"

"Whoa…you can get out of it tonight, tell him on his home turf," Jamie soothed. "A man like Tom, he's going to feel ambushed here. It's only one night, you can do this. Tomorrow, we'll have our time while he thinks you're in conference, we'll skip if we must, don't worry about that. I'm not mad at you, okay? It's going to be all right."

Eddie felt so safe hearing that, Jamie kept his voice so calm when she felt such stress. A beautiful pair…he was the valley and she was hill, he was the sugar, and she the salt…whenever she would lose her cool or her bearing, Jamie knew the way. "Now, you probably used a date significant to us, a birthday, an anniversary, breathe and think."

Eddie focused, and, in a few minutes, she remembered that she used the months of each of their birthdays, 0610…She punched the code in and the safe quickly opened.

Eddie slid Jamie's ring off for just a second as she replaced her wedding band and engagement ring. Jamie's ring fit perfectly between, not visible to Tom's eye but noticeable to her heart. "There, you see, it's okay." Jamie held her tight and kissed her softly. "Where does he think you are right now?"

"Seminar," Eddie replied. "I don't have…"

Jamie bent his head and took Eddie's lips in a strong, steamy kiss. He did not like that Tom ambushed her like this, but it was what it was. Tom was still Eddie's husband and to ambush him and anger him could make April vulnerable. He would never allow that to happen. Jamie made sure his kiss was enough to sustain Eddie, for her to remember their love and connection, until they stole more time together.

"Make that last," Jamie smiled at her. "You do what you have to do, tomorrow we have those two courses we signed up for, we'll take that time out together in my regular room. Wear your cute pink undies…I'll see about lunch. I love you…" Jamie gave her a strong solid hug.

"I love you, too. I'm so sorry about this. So very sorry."

Jamie nodded, "Go on, it's okay. We'll get through it, it's going to be okay."

Tom whisked Eddie off as soon as she returned to her room to an exclusive mountain resort. It was exactly the type of place she'd have gone to as a small child and hated. Even the staff was putting on airs.

They checked into the largest and most affluent looking suite, Tom pulled Eddie close almost immediately. "I'm hungry," Eddie told him, she had often stopped him in the past asking for a dinner, she hoped this time too."

"Ah, of course, all those seminars today. Well do you have a favorite place or should I find us something?" Tom asked.

Eddie wouldn't bring Tom to their favorite places, those were sacred. "The lodge had a nice place, it smelled good when we walked in, let's go there if you're okay with it."

Tom could see how nervous Eddie was, but as perceptive as he was to her moods, he was clueless to the reason, "April is fine, I'm so sorry it made you nervous. I wanted to surprise you that's all."

Eddie found a smile, "I know, it was a nice surprise."

Tom made reservations for the lodge and Eddie changed her clothes for the third time. She sat in the bathroom and admired her ring from Jamie, the love and commitment flowing to her heart. She text him, "I already miss you."

"I miss you too, it's just a few hours. Imagine me there with you, holding you tight." Jamie felt so sick over this, he wanted Eddie here, but to pressure her and make her feel bad wouldn't help anything. He was jealous, this was his time, but his jealousy always hurt her, he didn't want to hurt her again.

Jamie kept to his room, he was nervous to be out and about and spied alone by Tina and Lou. He called home to check on Max and spoke to the baby for a few minutes. He babbled away in words only his father or Eddie understood, Linda reported his legs were so much stronger, even in a few days and he was toddling about their house with no walking aid at all.

Jamie's heart soared, he had to tell Eddie. He text, "Max walking all by himself, we have our boy back!"

Eddie's phone beeped while they were escorted to their table, "Is everything okay?" Tom asked eyeing the device.

"Yes, I had plans tonight with some of the other cops and they are just replying to me when I said I couldn't go, that's all,' Eddie fibbed and sent Jamie just a smiley face in return.

It stuck in Eddie's craw that Tom was here. It didn't make sense to her, he always used her time away to bond with Sue and now…where the Hell was Sue?

Eddie slipped away, she had to know this answer to that before continuing with this night. While they waited for the drinks, she called Anita.

"Ms. Eddie, I suppose Mr. Tom has arrived. I'm sorry but he only told me he was going to meet you, he didn't say that it was." Anita hurriedly explained. She had hoped that Tom wouldn't put a damper Eddie and Jamie's time, no such luck.

"It's okay, Anita," Eddie soothed. "I handled it but I'm concerned about one thing, what happened to Sue? Why isn't he with Sue?"

Anita sighed, "Well, from what I heard from Sue, they broke things off. She told someone about them and Mr. Tom did not take that well at all."

Eddie sighed, he broke it off, that only meant

"He wants to try harder with you, I'm sorry Ms. Eddie. I don't know what to say but I'll help all I can."

"I know," Eddie soothed. "I know thanks for telling me."

Eddie thought hard as she returned to the table. She had to make sure to avoid Tom until she could talk to Jamie. Hopefully a steak and a whiskey worked in her favor.

Eddie dragged the dinner out as long as she could. She was convinced that if she got him tired enough and then blamed her period which was due in two days, she could get through the night. Tom loved rich food, he often ate to excess and when he coupled it with his drink of choice he often filled and fell asleep.

Eddie could see that was the case as they headed back to their suite. His stomach was upset, and he was taking his Tums. She didn't want him not to feel well, but she could not betray Jamie or herself.

Tom was determined, he pulled Eddie to him, kissed her neck and her hair. Eddie bit her lip and let him touch her a bit but as his hands moved lower she gently pushed him off, "It's not a good time," she told him. "It's…"

"Oh, oh, I thought that was now, but I hoped," Tom replied. "That doesn't mean we can't cuddle, let's get comfortable and get snuggled in bed."

Eddie laid down next to Tom and let him hold her. She never felt the safety or the love with Tom that she did with Jamie. She wished to be in Jamie's arms, held tight and safe. She could only imagine what was going on in his room.

Within the hour, Tom was snoring, and Eddie was able to sneak out of the bed and call Jamie. He smiled when he saw her number come up. "He's asleep, he was okay with my saying no I told him it was my period, and I'm due soon so…"

"Good, you see it worked out. How about our Maxy?" Jamie was so proud.

Eddie spoke softly to Jamie for nearly an hour in the living room of the large suite. "So, tomorrow, we'll meet for those two hours, then look and see what else we can get for an excuse. It's just going to take partnership, that's all. Teamwork."

Eddie smiled, "And we are good at that again. We made such strides this trip Jamie."

"We did…it's really late, I love you so much, we have this so don't be upset. I'll see you around noon okay?" Jamie knew sleep would likely evade him, but he hoped she'd get her rest.

"Okay, I love you too. This won't happen again," Eddie assured him. "I promise."

Jamie agreed silently, it would not happen again, because tomorrow they were going to talk about making things right once and for all.

Tom and Eddie woke to her alarm the next morning. He had wrapped his arms around her in his sleep and held her to him. When Eddie wiggled to get out of his embrace, he woke. "It's early, when's your first conference?"

"At nine but I have to eat something and drive there," Eddie replied. "I've never left the chalet overnight, so I have no idea of the traffic and most of today is mandatory or at least pertinent."

"Well, while you shower I'll have breakfast sent up," Tom replied. "Go on…I know we won't have much time but perhaps tonight."

"We'll have to see how things go," Eddie replied. "I don't know if I can get off early enough, but I'll try my best." Eddie gave him a quick peck then headed to the shower. She did have two courses that morning, then time with Jamie. She couldn't wait.

Jamie was waiting in his room when Eddie got free. It was clear that he hadn't slept a wink last night. 'Hey, you okay?" Eddie asked him putting her arms around him.

Jamie held her close and kissed her softly, "I didn't' sleep at all, the thought of you sleeping in bed with him…"

"I know, but what could I do, Jamie? Until we get a divorce, he's my husband. I had to play nice. I didn't sleep with him, I barely even kissed him, just chaste little stuff,' Eddie explained.

"I know, I know but Eddie, you have to end this now. We can't keep playing this game, we need to end it now," Jamie said firmly. "I know you're worried about his reaction with April, but I made some calls this morning and a friend of mine from law school will represent you and help you get the best deal for alimony child support, and custody. I know you're scared, I'll be there for you, I'll be there step by step and so will Danny, Dad, Pop…we all love you, we all want you to be in this family and April."

Tears fell down Eddie's cheeks, 'Come here," Jamie prompted and laid on the bed holding her close. They laid together, snuggled together, hands gently stroking, lips softly touching…The hours were flying by…Just before it was time to part for the next seminar, Jamie's phone rang.

"Hey, Dad," Jamie greeted seeing Frank's number flash on his ID. Eddie leaned back and listened hoping to hear Max's little voice. She missed her babies very much and longed to hold them both in her arms again. Jamie sat straight up as he listened to Frank, then the phone hit the floor. Jamie began to shake, and tears welled in his eyes. "Jamie…" Eddie reached to pick up the phone. "Frank, this is Eddie. What happened?"


	99. Chapter 99

Chapter Ninety Nine

"Eddie, is he okay?" Frank asked. "I probably shouldn't have called I didn't want to upset him so far from home, but we need him to get on a plane and come home. There's not much time."

"Max?" Eddie felt sick. Jamie would react this way if his little Max was sick again.

"No, Pop had a stroke, a brain stem stroke," Frank explained. "He's…he's not going to make it. They aren't sure he'll last the night. We're bringing him home, he can't breathe well, can't speak well, most of his muscles are…We need Jamie home, he's asking for him. Can you help him arrange a flight, then let me know the details?"

"Of course,' Eddie repleid. "My heart is with you both, my prayers are with you…I'll get him home."

Eddie hug up and pulled Jamie in tight, "Ssh…ssh…I know…I know…" Eddie rocked him for a few minutes, providing soft and gentle kisses to his tear stained cheeks. "Look at me."

Jamie lifted his face, it seemed with great effort, to meet Eddie's eyes. "I'm going to pack you and check us out. I'm going to get Tom to pack us and have the jet ready, we are going right home to your Pop, no connections, no delays, no nothing. We'll make it, okay?"

Eddie's voice was soft and firm, Jamie felt her resolve and sniffled, "Okay."

Jamie sat on the bed while Eddie packed him. She called Tom, "Tom, I need you to get the jet ready to go back to New York immediately. Jamie's grandfather had a stroke and he's dying. Pack us and meet us at this chalet…it's time sensitive, he's near death now, we don't have much time."

Tom quickly agreed to arrange for the jet and hurried to meet Jamie and Eddie. "Here, drink this,' Eddie held a glass of water for Jamie. "Try to take a few more breaths, we have to be out front to meet Tom, he has the jet getting gas, we should be in the air in an hour."

"Thanks for this Eddie, I know it's not…"

"Stop," Eddie replied. "I love you, I'm going to take good care of this. I'm going to take care of you, you are my sole focus now and if Tom doesn't like it, too bad."

Jamie smiled, "Pop loves you, he really loves you and this is why, just like my grandma Betty. All tough stuff."

Eddie put her arm around Jamie and picked up Jamie's bag. "Let's go…"

The limo was waiting when they came out. Tom's driver put the bags in the car and Tom opened the door for Eddie and Jamie. "Jamie, I am so sorry," Tom said. "Here, I took the liberty. It's Irish."

Jamie looked at Eddie, he'd promised her. "Go on, you need that" Eddie understood.

Jamie sipped the amber liquid and looked at Tom, "Thank you for doing this. I don't even really…"

"It was a brain stem stroke," Eddie filled them both in. "They are taking him home to die in peace, in his own bed but he wants to see Jamie, Henry deserves a peaceful death, to have that I think he needs Jamie there."

"Well, we'll get there," Tom assured. "We have air space to take off and to land…there's no worries."

Jamie was quiet on the way to the airport, he watched the mountains, the trees, everything that seemed so strong and permanent, like his grandpa. But nothing in this life was permanent, everything had it's time, he knew that and as a cop he practiced it, why was it so hard now to accept an 86 year old man was dying?

"There's the jet," Tom pointed. "Eddie, just get Jamie on, I'll see the bags make it."

Eddie offered Tom a grateful smile, then shifted all her focus to Jamie. She didn't even remember she was supposed to ask for a divorce that day, that all took a backseat to getting Jamie home, with her hands on his heart, making sure he was safe.

"Oh my," Jamie was shocked at the size of the jet. It had an office, a small kitchen, a full flight staff. "This is really huge, it's like Air Force One or something."

"Or something," Eddie smiled. "Okay, do you want to sit down, lie down…"

"Just sit, this is going to feel like the longest flight ever," Jamie sighed. "There's no way to even check…"

"We have an inflight phone, once we're at cruising altitude we can call and check in,' Eddie soothed. "Here's a lemon water, the seat goes back and it has a massager in there too."

Even in his grief, Jamie couldn't help but think, "How rich is this guy?" The plane, the drivers at his instant disposal…today of course that was in his best interest and Henry's.

"We'll be taking off in a few minutes," Tom told them. "Uh, our co-pilot is down with a 24 hours stomach bug so I'll be on the flight deck with Rudy. Feel free to eat anything you want, use the phone, watch a film…our plane is your plane Jamie."

Tom leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss. Jamie felt his skin crawl, he hated to see him touching her. She was his, and now he needed her more than ever. The plane began to taxi, Eddie held Jamie's hand tight as the wheels went up and they began to fly towards home and Henry.

"Eddie, we're at our cruising altitude if Jamie needs to call home," Tom said over the loudspeaker.

Eddie showed Jamie how to use the phone, he got Frank and spoke softly, inquiring about Henry. "So there's no chance?"

"Never say never, but Father McMurray is here now to give him last rights and he'll be here until…Some of his old friends are in and out, he's waiting for you. I'm glad Eddie and Tom were able to get you home." Frank was being strong for the family, but his heart was breaking.

"I love you, Dad," Jamie told Frank. "Tell him…that…I'm"

Jamie's voice broke and Eddie softly rubbed his back as Frank assured him, "I'll tell him, son. Safe home."

Like any good cop, Eddie knew the locations in the plane that were not covered by the extensive security network. She could see Jamie was on the edge after the phone call. "Come on, seatbelt sign is off, come with me."

Eddie took Jamie by the hand, to a small alcove near the back restroom. She could feel he needed to cry, her soul ached as much as his did with that need. Eddie stood and put her arms around Jamie. Her hug was tight and firm, her hands moved up and down his back, she whispered softly, "Let it go, it's just me here now. No one can see us, it's just you and me. I love you so much…"

Eddie softly kissed Jamie's lips, "I love you so much. I'm here for you, we are going to get through this baby. I promise you we are. I'm not leaving you, I will not let you go through this alone."

That did it, the tension seeped out of him and Jamie began to cry. He shook as he sobbed his grandfather's name over and over again. When Jamie lost Sydney and then again when he ended his marriage, he and Henry were buddies. They loved each other as friends and as grandfather and grandson, it would be a profound loss.

The entire flight, Eddie held Jamie's hand, rubbed his back or his legs, focused her entire attention on him. Tom came in and out of the cabin, but Eddie did not cease in her comfort. Jamie needed her, he was the love of her life and he was going to feel her love and support through what would be the most difficult challenge they faced so far. Money couldn't fix this like Claudia, April's kidnapping, or Max's illness, this was final, this was the death of a good man, a man Jamie loved very much.

The limo was waiting at JFK to take them home to Henry. Jamie's legs were wobbling, Eddie held his hand. Tom was going to head back to Manhasset by taxi, so they didn't have to wait for the bags. The limo driver headed straight for Bay Ridge as soon as his charges were in the car.

The house was so quiet. Jamie remembered how it was after Joe and his mother, it had never seemed so still even then. Eddie held his hand as they stepped inside. Frank was the only one in the kitchen. "Welcome home, Jamie…Eddie, thank you so much for bringing him."

"How is he?" Jamie asked keeping it solid for his father and family. He had Eddie for when he had to let go.

"He's as good as he could be, he's not doing very well but he's hanging on. Stubborn old man…" Frank took a sip of his drink. "Can I get you anything before you go up?"

Jamie shook his head, "I just want to go see Pop."

It was unspoken that Eddie would go too. She held Jamie's hand as they climbed the stairs, Jamie never let it go. The rest of the family was gathered around Henry's bedside. The older man appeared to be sleeping, his chest heaving to get in enough air to sustain himself one more minute. "Kid, good, he's been asking." Danny put his hand on Jamie's shoulder and smiled a greeting to Eddie.

"Pop, I'm here…" Jamie whispered stroking Henry's hair back.

Henry heard his youngest grandson and opened his heavy eyes to smile at him. "I knew you'd make it…I knew you would…"

The words were difficult, breathy. It hurt Jamie to hear such weakness in Henry's voice. Henry's eyes combed the room, so many loved ones were there, even his priest, but he had to talk to Jamie alone, he had to make sure, before he left to join his soulmate, Jamie realized what he had in his. "Jamie…alone…" Henry managed looking at Danny to make sure it was done.

"Okay, you heard him, let's step out and give him some time with the Kid,' Danny pushed his sister and niece mostly, everyone was grieving but they made it a life's objective.

Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek then moved to follow the family out. "No, no," Henry told her. "You stay, both of you."

Jamie and Eddie held each other's hands and they each touched Henry's. The strong grip that once was there, that had patted his back and paddled his bottom was gone and in it's place a grasp no stronger than a baby's. Henry took several breaths then met their eyes.

"Life…is very short," Henry began. "Some people, like your poor partner Vinny, never realize their life. I…" He breathed in again.

"Pop, we know…It's okay," Jamie soothed. "It's okay. Don't try to talk."

"Have to…listen, don't talk…listen" Henry insisted. Eddie laughed a little bit, "He's not good at listening."

Henry smiled, "You are good for him, you are good for each other. I was so lucky that I had my life, my kids, grandkids..." Another breath. "My GGs…You might not…you stop wasting time. My Betty, we had so many great years, so much time, my life was so rich. You two have been lucky, you found your soulmate…so few…" Henry's stopped and shut his eyes.

Jamie and Eddie looked at each other, his chest heaved to get some additional air. "Take your time, Pop," Jamie soothed. "It's okay, we know what a chance we have."

"Don't waste it," Henry warned, he seemed distressed, so Eddie took off her rings. "Look," Eddie smiled. "Jamie's given me this as a promise, that we are making our family. We are not going to squander this, and we know you'll be looking down on us, shining your light on us. We love you so much, Pop. We really do. We love you."

Henry gave a small smile, "Seal it…with a kiss."

Jamie nodded and tipped Eddie's lips to his. Softly and tenderly, Jamie kissed Eddie's lips showing his grandfather in the kiss how much he loved her. They heard Henry sigh, a peaceful breath. When they broke apart, his eyes were closed, in a peaceful slumber, his final task done, waiting for God to call him in his time.

 **A/n: In honor of our 100th chapter, we will be posting a bonus on Monday. Happy St. Patrick's Day!!**


	100. Chapter 100

Chapter One Hundred

Eddie placed a kiss on Henry's cheek, "Rest Pop. We know, and we are going to take good care of you. Rest."

Henry took a long, sighing breath and shut his eyes. Jamie sat next to Henry another twenty minutes. "Why don't we go downstairs, get some water, something to drink. We can let your dad have some time."

Jamie nodded, "I love you Pop," he whispered. "Let's just…" Jamie nodded to Max's room. They tiptoed into the bedroom and found him sleeping sounding in his crib, sighing contentedly in his sleep.

"He's so precious," Jamie replied. "I missed him. I might need some help…"

"Jamie, I'm not leaving you at all. I'm here for the duration, one hour, one day, one week. I'll have Anita bring April out…" Eddie soothed. "I will be here for you and for Max as long as I'm needed."

Jamie turned and pressed his head to hers, "Then it'll be forever, I need you forever."

Henry lived through that night and into the next day, he didn't open his eyes again or speak, his strength was sapped. He had given his last ounce of resolve to his grandson and his loving soulmate. Eddie focused on Jamie and Max. "Mommom, sing." Max prompted but Eddie shook her head. "Maxy, we can't sing now. We have to be quiet…" Eddie held her finger over her lips.

"Ssh…" he mimicked. "Ki et…" Eddie hugged the boy, she loved him so much. Anita would bring April over later, she would help keep the children busy, so the family could focus on Henry and their grief.

Anytime Jamie went into Henry's room, Eddie went with him. She promised not to leave his side, she wouldn't either. She was getting her share of looks from Erin and Nikki, but so far ignored them. Linda invited her to eat with the family, that was the one thing she heard Eddie tell Jamie she didn't feel comfortable doing. "We'd love to have you, Jamie needs you I think and Max, he was crying a lot when this first happened, he's so sensitive."

"He is," Eddie replied. "He's very much so, it's just a matter of working with him. I'm sure you know from your boys…"

"Oh, my boys had tempers, but not like Max. He gets very mad very fast, he cries fast, but he calms fast too, he's a special guy…" Linda smiled. "Stay and eat…"

Eddie felt welcomed by Linda and most of the family, she agreed to sit beside Jamie as the family ate that Sunday night.

Frank led the family in grace. They had Chinese food, no one was in the mood to be distracted by cooking. Eddie sat between Jamie and Max, she had volunteered to help the little boy with his lo mein noodles and crackers, so Jamie could focus on his own meal. Eddie smiled at Max, he was eating so well…Jamie only picked at his own food. "No," Eddie said firmly. "Eat more, you need to eat more than that."

"He might not be hungry, Pop is dying," Erin spoke up. She didn't want to see Jamie forced.

"I know that," Eddie replied softly. She felt bad, like she didn't belong.

"Why are you still here?" Nikki asked pointedly. "It was nice of you to bring Uncle Jamie, but there's no reason."

"That's right," Jack spoke up. "You're not part of the family, this is about Pop…"

"John Francis, hush your mouth now!" Linda scolded while Erin reached over and rubbed Nikki's shoulder. "Eddie is Uncle Jamie's friend, he wants her here…"

Jamie shook his head, "No, that's not the reason. Not the only reason."

Jamie tossed his napkin onto his plate and reached for Eddie's hand. She felt like she wanted to crawl into a hole, she was trying to help Jamie, why was she under fire by his sister and niece? She knew they were often opinionated and protective, but this was a little much. Jamie would not tolerate this, he would not take it.

Jamie stood up, "This is important to Pop and it's important to me. Pop wants Eddie here, I want her here too. It's very important to Pop that I tell you this. Eddie and I are in love, and we plan on making a life together for us and the children as soon as we get her divorce settled. Pop wanted this, he made us promise, we made a pact before Pop and God."

"Oh well that's just great!" Erin sighed. "You go from Claudia to this…your taste…"

Erin didn't get the chance to finish, Nikki took over for her with a wicked glare. "You think you fit here? Before you met my uncle Jamie he never would have had an affair with a married woman, shame on you, you have a child of your own... uncle Jamie's divorced now but you're not. I'm sure uncle Jamie got divorced because of you. You're not Max's mother and you allow him to call you mommy, you're going to hurt them both. Does your husband know?"

"That's none of your business, Nikki," Jamie replied. "The only thing that matters is I love her, and she loves me and Max. We are going to be a family, we'd love to be a part of this one, but we don't have to be. Eddie let's go!"

Frank stood up quickly, "No, Jamie, you're right. This is what Pop wanted, he talked with me about it for a while before he died. Don't leave, this won't continue." Frank glared at Erin and Nikki.

Eddie nodded it was okay as Max senses the tension and began to cry. Eddie turned and took the boy out of his seat. "It's okay, ssh, Mommy's hear…" Eddie said firmly and glared at Nikki. "It's all right sweetie boy."

"For your information," Jamie spoke up again. "I tried to stop Max from saying Mommy, but he knows what is true. He knows in his little pure heart that Eddie is his Mommy, that she will love and protect him, teach and guide him, he knows so I let it be. April will be Max's sister, and Pop wants this. Erin, you of all people should understand what it's like to marry the wrong person. We were both too far gone before we realized it. I know you understand that. You took a long time to get out of things with Jack and he wasn't abusive. Claudia was. I deserve this with Eddie, everyone deserves their soulmate even you."

Erin sighed, Jamie had a point perhaps she was a little jealous, she'd wait and watch before passing more judgment.

Eddie smiled at Jamie, he stood up for her, like she had for him, partners, 50/50, he was ready to leave the house for her, while his grandfather lie dying upstairs, that was a measure of devotion.

Nothing else was said during the dinner, talk turn to memories of Henry, how he loved turducken. "I could have some of that flown up for his…services," Eddie offered. "He might, I mean…" Everything she said felt stupid.

"Throwing her money around," Erin murmured.

"That would be nice," Danny smiled. "I think that would be really nice of you,"

"I'll set it up," Eddie smiled. "I will get it here for that, and any other special foods I can help track them down, and Anita…"

"It's okay honey,' Jamie kissed Eddie's hair. "You don't have to impress them, you made your impression on me." With purpose Jamie leaned over and kissed her.

They moved to the living room to have coffee and cake. Eddie took Max to the piano, "Come on, Max. Let's sing a song for Pop Pop…he can hear us." Frank went upstairs to sit with his father.

"Mommom will play, you copy me," Eddie told the boy. She began to play the intro to New York, New York. "Start spreading the new…"

Max sang out, "new….i leave day..." Eddie smiled. The NYPD song, a tribute to Henry.

While the music played downstairs, Frank held his father's hand upstairs. "They're going to be okay, Pop. We all are. You go see Mom, don't' fight it anymore. Tell Mary and Joe all about Jamie's new love. Joe never liked Sydney and he'd have hated Claudia. Don't fight it…"

Henry heard everything, Frank's voice, Eddie's clear, powerful voice, Max's tiny one…Frank swore he saw the old man smile.

The rest of the family filed through, checking in before turning in throughout the house. In the wee hours of the morning, with just his son by his side, Henry took his last deep breath, then followed his Betty, who had been hovering close for nearly three days, into the light.

Jamie woke at the precise moment Henry passed away. He looked at Eddie, sleeping with her head on his lap. Carefully, he moved her to the side then climbed the stairs to his grandpa's room. The soft sound that had been present just a few hours ago was silent now. "Dad?" Jamie asked.

"He's gone, just a few minutes ago," Frank replied. "He was happy, he was happy that you and Eddie found each other, and that the family was together…" Frank swallowed hard. "I'll call in a few minutes, I just want some time with him before…"

Jamie nodded, he understood the loss. He sat with Frank, silent tears running down his cheeks. The two sat there with Henry for about a half hour before Eddie stirred when Max fussed around six and noticed Jamie was gone. She picked up the baby then went to check in Henry's room. She found Jamie and Frank simply sitting still by Henry's side. "Oh, Jamie, I'm sorry…"

Max reached out for his Daddy, he could tell that there was sadness and wanted the security. Jamie held his son, "Hey, what are you doing up huh?"

"I think he just wanted his, Daddy," Eddie replied with tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I just felt…"

Max lay his head on Jamie's chest, still a little sleepy. "He's tired, I'll put him back down and just keep out of the way while you two…"

"Once he goes back down, come back up please,' Jamie replied. "I need you here when they come for him."

Eddie nodded, "Frank, would you like for me to ask Anita to help with the repast. I'm sure she wouldn't mint and that way no one would have to leave the services early or be under any stress. I can't imagine how you feel."

Frank swallowed, "Surprisingly, I'm at peace with this. He had a good run, he didn't suffer, he didn't linger, he had everything he wanted when he passed. I would appreciate you doing that Eddie, and Max knows her, so we won't be worried about him getting upset."

"As soon as it's late enough I'll call her and set things up for that then, anything that's needed, please ask," Eddie gave Frank a firm hug, then gently kissed Jamie's lips before taking Max downstairs.

Frank waited until five to wake the rest of the family and give them the sad news of Henry's passing. Jamie, at his father's request, went back downstairs and sat with Eddie and Max. Jamie had a hard time hiding the tears from her, truth was she didn't let him. Eddie held Jamie tight in her arms and rocked him like she would rock Max.

"I'm going to say that he's at peace or in a better place," Eddie replied. 'You know that already, he died happy. You gave him his last wish, you and I…and we have to spend the rest of our lives honoring that."

Jamie smiled through his tears, "Yes, we do." He lifted her left hand and kissed the place where he placed his ring on her finger. "I love you, and I'm so sorry for…"

"Your sister is bitter, she should be, she doesn't know love like we do and that's very sad for her," Eddie replied. "I hope that she does find this kind of special love. Nikki, that girl is going to learn respect from me, from you, from your father but someone better teach it and fast. If April spoke that way, I'd wash her mouth out with soap, the strongest soap I could find!"

"Whoa, down girl," Jamie soothed. "I'll speak to Erin when things settle down here, she hasn't ever taken Nikki in hand about unsolicited opinions…"

Jamie and Eddie heard sharp cries from upstairs, Frank must have gone to tell the rest of the family. Jamie stood up to rejoin them. "Come on…"

"Let me see to Max, the crying will scare him, when I'm sure he's okay, I'll be right up."

Jamie turned and pulled Eddie into a tight hug and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you more than life itself, I could not have made it without you…"

Eddie stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jamie's nose then his lips. "You would have, you are strong and always point true north, you're the center of my world Jamie. Whenever we need each other…now go on and I'll be up as soon as…"

Max began to wail as the tension reverberated through the house, "I'll be up as soon as I can." She squeezed his hand to give him strength then headed to Max's porta crib to tend the little boy.

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for being with us for 100 chapters and counting. We are so sad to see the loving and wonderful character of Henry go, we do truly love him, and we'll miss him as well.**


	101. Chapter 101

Chapter One Hundred One

The funeral home came around eight to take Henry's body to the funeral home. He would be buried in his uniform with full NYPD honors. Eddie called Anita to speak with her about child care for Max and April and overseeing the food for the repast. She was only too happy to do that. "Tell Jamie I am so sorry, and I will bring Miss April to the house later for some Mommy time, she's calling you a lot."

"I think that's good, bring her little jacket and the toy that spins they can both play on that in the yard for a bit,' Eddie suggested. "Bring some of my sheet music too, Jamie's father asked for me to sing to a video they are making and I need to choose something."

"Of course, Ms. Eddie, anything else?" Anita asked.

"Not now, please ask Tom to call me later today. I want to speak to him about what I need to be doing here, Jamie's going to be busy and Max will need someone stable for him considering the emotions. I don't want to be apart from April anymore, it is okay with Jamie I keep her close by."

Anita took notes then hung up with Eddie. Tom was in the kitchen with April on is hip, "Where is she, Anita? It's getting ridiculous now, her family is here."

Anita sighed, "Mr. Tom, part of her family is here, the other part is there. Ms. Eddie is Jamies' best friend, she was very close to Henry Reagan and she is grieving his loss too. That poor motherless boy is floundering with so much emotion, the little tyke did not come from a stable apple tree, poor soul. Ms. Eddie wants you to call her later and for me to bring Miss April to play with Max. There was plenty of opportunities for you to fix what broke for you and you missed them. I'm sorry if I'm out of turn but we have always been honest with each other since you were younger, and I started working for you…"

Tom nodded, "You have and I should have worked on this marriage sooner, I agree but Eddie is my wife…"

"You go after her in that way, Mr. Tom, she'll scamper off, she knows what is right, just as you did for so many years. Give me Miss April…her hair is standing up like Pebbles."

Tom surrendered his argument and his daughter to Anita, he had taken advantage of Eddie's friendship with Jamie to sneak off with Sue. He couldn't' reign her in all the way in a time of crisis for that family, she wouldn't budge. He would be as supportive as he could be, and then…then…he would get his wife back.

Anita arrived about two that afternoon with April, her little blue Merry Go Round toy and two trays of chicken alfredo. "This will stick to the ribs, and make you strong for the next days," Anita told Jamie as she handed him the trays then set April down. She looked around the big kitchen with so many people, her blue eyes got wide as saucers. "Momma…" She heard Eddie but didn't' see her. "Momma…"

Eddie heard April's call and reached down for her. "Hello, my baby girl. Mommy missed my April, yes I did…" Eddie held her baby tight, she missed her soft hair and smell of her baby shampoo. "You want to come play with Max? Let's go play outside with Max…" Eddie was doing her best to give all the Reagan's space.

"Put a jacket…" Jamie began then saw Eddie putting jackets on both children. "I know worrywart, tell Daddy, don't worry. Show Daddy…"

Max and April each took their hand and held them out palms up, Jamie laughed at them, "You two are cute. Give kisses."

Both kids kissed Jamie and went outside with Eddie and Anita to play. "She's a gem," Linda told Jamie. "Max is so well behaved and relaxed. April is an angel baby…"

"I am blessed and Pop knew that, he knew it and when he realized how wrong he was to set me up with Camille, he helped as much as you and Danny to keep us together. Right now, I can't imagine not having her here, its' helping me keep it together for Dad."

"Where is Frank?" Linda asked. "He wasn't taking it the best, he's trying but…"

They heard Frank's deep laughter and looked out the door. There he was with Max and April, rolling and tumbling in the grass. Linda smiled, "Father like son, when your Mom went and the boys were little, Pop was outside with them, playing and laughing, keeping them busy and soothing his own loss. "Go out and play with your family, we'll talk about the service in a few minutes. This is what Pop would enjoy seeing looking down from Heaven. Tell Eddie the videographer will be here in a half hour to choreograph the photos to her song."

Jamie nodded, "Thanks, Linda. Took after my brother in picking a good wife, just took me a few times to realize it." Jamie gave Linda a kiss and head out the door to play merry go round with his family.

Jamie snuck up behind April and picked her up tickling her on her belly. She laughed and hugged Jamie's neck. While the kids and parents were rolling around in play, Spencer rang the doorbell. Linda opened the door, "Hey, I was in the neighborhood and thought I would come by and check in on Jamie. How is he?"

"He's outside right now playing with the kids," Linda replied. "I know he'll be glad to see you."

Spencer entered the house and had a sip of coffee before going outside to see Jamie hugging and kissing Eddie, they took two sleepy babies into the house. "Hey, Spencer, how are you doing?"

"I'm good, I heard about your Pop and wanted to see what I could do but it appears that I might not be needed?"

"Don't be silly," Jamie replied. "You're my friend, Pop loved you, he got a kick out of you. You're always welcome. Let me take these two upstairs I'll be right back with you." Jamie took the kids upstairs leaving Spencer with Eddie.

"So, I was right all those years ago, you and Jamo-o…that's why I didn't go for you," Spencer replied. He began to say something else when Frank called Eddie, she had a bad vibe about Spencer but he was Jamie's friend, she'd handle it later. She Still had a grudge against him for letting Jamie get so drunk when he was vulnerable.

"Excuse me," Eddie smiled. "I'll be right back, I'm sure Jamie will be with you shortly." Eddie excused herself calling on her well honed Long Island hostess persona to say that with a smile.

Neighbors, friends, close colleagues began to fill the house. Baker went to help Anita in the kitchen, Gormly and Garrett took places near Frank. Eddie kept both children close and out of the way while the family received visitors. April was very happy in the kitchen with Anita but Max was hanging on Eddie's hip. She facilitated as much as she could without overstepping, Jamie wanted her in the role of his wife here, she knew that and would do all she could for him.

At the buffet table, Spencer cornered her. Eddie could tell by the set of his jaw and the rigidity in his back that the conversation would not be for little ears, "Maxy, go see Anita in the kitchen, she has cookies."

"Cookie?" Max asked with a huge smile. He had a sweettooth.

"Yes, cookie, go see Anita, tell her I said you get a cookie." Eddie set the boy on his feet and he toddled off to the kitchen yelling "Cookie…"

"I can tell you really care about Jamie," Spencer began trying to keep the conversation light. "So I know you'll understand when I say that this is not a good relationship for him. He went from that psycho Claudia to this weird thing with you and it is weird. You don't belong here, this is for family and you're not."

Eddie bit her lip not to start a riot in the living room. The truth was, this was out of the ordinary, perhaps it was hard on Jamie for her to be here and to have to battle his family. Erin and Nikki, now Spencer too.

"Let him live his life," Spencer continued. "Let him have his single life for a bit and enjoy that. This is tying him down and it's not fair to him."

Eddie didn't' know how to react, she stood stunned Spencer would say such a thing, but he wasn't' the only one that felt that way. Eddie took a breath, trying not to react. She turned on a heel and left for the kitchen to find Anita. She felt like an intruder all along, she would go home and attend like anyone else. She would help and she would sing, but friendship would be the extent of it until this blew over.

Eddie carefully whispered to Anita, "When the food is finished let's pack up our things and head home. I'm going to come with you. I'm overstepping a little here with the rest of the family, we'll come back tomorrow for the wake and the services but…"

Anita nodded, she heard a few people grumbling about Eddie but ignored it, it wasn't' her place. "All right, of course. I'll make sure Andre is ready to go."

Discreetly, Eddie got her things from the bedroom, the bustle of the family was so busy no one noticed her going up and down the steps to gather her items. Eddie's eyes spied Jamie by himself, that was a good time to say goodbye.

"Hey Jamie," Eddie whispered. "I'm gonna shove off okay?"

"Yeah?" Jamie asked. "Eddie, I was hoping you would stay with me. I need you, I…"

"I know, but I need to go. I'll be back tomorrow, don't worry, I'm not abandoning you, I promised I wouldn't but…" Eddie tried to explain.

Jamie backed off, she did have April and she did have Tom who was likely giving her a rough time, she'd done so much for him, he didn't' want to stress her out. "Let me know when you're ready, I'll walk you out."

Eddie kissed Jamie softly then went back to the kitchen to put on April's hat and coat. Linda noticed Jamie's face, she had heard everything Spencer said to Eddie and it appeared from how forlorn Jamie looked that Eddie didn't' tell him why she felt she had to go. If Eddie told him the truth, he'd be livid. "Eddie's going," Jamie told Linda. "I'm going to walk her out if you can maybe try to see that we get a couple minutes."

"She is leaving," Linda sighed. "Can't say I blame her, though what she did was the mark of lady."

"What are you talking about, Lin?" Jamie asked.

"Spencer," Linda replied. "He was telling her she didn't belong, to leave you alone and that kind of thing. Eddie's really taking it hard…"

Jamie's face turned bright red, he wanted to go after him then and there but first he had to convince his Eddie to stay.

Jamie slipped into the coat closet off the living room where Eddie's coat was hanging. When she opened the door, he would settle this with her and make sure she knew she was his utmost priority.


	102. Chapter 102

Chapter One Hundred Two

Jamie only had to wait about five minutes before the door opened and Eddie's hand reached inside. Instead of making contact with her coat, she was tugged by the hand inside the closet. Jamie quickly shut the door and stood between Eddie and the exit. "Why didn't you tell me what he said? He had no right and I'm going to speak to him about it."

"No, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "Don't make more drama or stress. I know it's not you and this changes nothing between us, it has nothing to do with how much I love you."

"I know," Jamie replied. "I know but I need you with me. You are my soulmate; the love of my life and you belong at my side through this. I need you here, and they have no right Eddie."

Jamie reached out and held onto her, rocking slightly. "I will not put up with Spencer or anyone else challenging us anymore, okay? If you have to go for April's sake, go but she can stay here with us, she can share Max's crib. Please don't go."

Eddie took a breath, how could she deny him, but with the tide against them how could she stay and not make Henry's death about their relationship. Jamie tipped Eddie's head and kissed her, "We always solve our problems together, when things work they work and I want to keep them working." He kissed her again, quickly escalating their kisses to touching and petting.

While Jamie was in the closet trying to convince Eddie to stay, Danny tried to open the door to retrieve coats for another guest. He pulled three times and the door would not budge. "The lock seems to be jammed, give me just a minute."

The door was rattling, Jamie didn't care. He had his Eddie in his arms and she was almost convinced to stay. She had to be the most important thing, if they got caught, they got caught, it didn't matter.

"I will," Jamie whispered. "Protect you Eddie. I will not allow Spencer or Erin or anyone to say such things. You belong at my side, you are in my heart."

Eddie held Jamie's head against her chest, she believed him. "If you are sure you want this, if it's not going to detract from Pop…"

"Pop is livid up there, he's screaming at me, "Man up Jamie and fix this." I want to do him proud and you too."

"I'm always proud of you, I love you and I will stay. You don't have to say anything today," Eddie tried to relieve the strain once again.

"Yes, I do," Jamie replied. He had to for himself as well Eddie.

Jamie moved the block from the door and took Eddie by the hand, "You ready honey?"

Eddie nodded and held tight to Jamie's hand. He reached for the knob, but instead the door popped opened revealing Danny and a screwdriver. "Well, guest it wasn't really stuck."

Jamie and Eddie could stop traffic.

Danny shook his head, "What is it with closets? Honest to God…"

Jamie shot his brother a look, then with Eddie's hand firmly in his own. He found Spencer helping himself to some dessert. "Spencer, man, you are a good friend to me," Jamie began. "But what you just did, not acceptable, and no Eddie didn't tell me. She was going to be respectful of my grandfather's passing and leave, but she doesn't have to go. She belongs here, and she is staying by my side."

Spencer took a breath, "Jamie, I'm sorry man," he replied. "I just want you to enjoy your life and not get tied down. She's married, Jamie."

"I know, and we are dealing with that, Eddie and me," Jamie replied. 'We made it against some pretty tough odds so far. This is me enjoying my life. I can't be happy if Eddie isn't and I can't be happy without Eddie. I want to be friends with you Spencer, we're friends for a very long time, but if you don't and can't accept Eddie in my life, we are done. It's not a choice, it's a fact."

Jamie looked around, he fixed his eyes on Erin, "That goes for everyone that can hear me, it's not a choice, Eddie and I are in love. I don't want to choose but I will and most of you won't like the choice. Come on, Eddie, let's put our things back. April can stay with Max."

That was all that was said on it, no one else even whispered a challenge. Jamie had made himself very clear. He wanted Eddie as his, she wanted to be his, there was no room for dispute. The knowledge Henry had sanctioned this love with his hard-earned approval settled things for the Reagans, at least with most of them, at least for now.

Eddie took Jamie up on his offer for April and Anita to stay with the family. Anita took the den and April would share with Max. Jamie took both babies and put them down, they were both tired from the busy day of playing and getting extra attention. Eddie went to the bathroom to change into her nightgown, a simple cotton. She wasn't sure if she should sleep with Jamie given the sentiment for the family.

When Eddie stepped out, Jamie was waiting for her. He was sitting up in his bed, bare chested, looking so handsome it took all her resolve to say, "I think I should sleep downstairs with Anita or with the kids so there's no more heavy talk or gossip. I don't…"

Jamie pulled the covers back, showing her, he was open to all of this and wanted her by his side. "I need you to sleep in my arms tonight, I need to feel you close and know you are safe. If you want to go to the couch and curl up there fine, if you want to stay here in my bed, that's fine but you are sleeping in my arms tonight. Where you do that is immaterial."

Eddie smile and slid into Jamie's arms, he pulled her down with him and stroked her shoulder gently. "Thank you, Eddie, for this, for being here with me when I need you most. I don't think I could have…"

Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie gently, "That's what a wife would do, and you promised to make me that. Curl up and get some sleep, the next few days won't be easy for any of us."

The wake took place two days later, representatives from all fifty states flocked to New York to honor the former Commissioner. The Reagan family was a sea of blue, Frank, Danny, and Jamie each in their dress blues. Eddie had hers brought and ironed for the occasion, she dressed Max in a tiny blue suit that matched the shade of their uniforms. April was in a navy dress with white Swiss dots and a full satin bow in the back.

They headed for the funeral home at one, Jamie insisting that Eddie accompany him for the first viewing. Jamie squeezed Eddie's hand tight when they stepped in and saw Henry laid out in full dress uniform. He looked so peaceful, handsome, and dignified. Eddie ran her hand up his back, "It's okay, it's okay honey. Let it out, it's just me and the family. You cry all you want."

Jamie turned into Eddie's chest and sobbed, he missed Pop so badly, his laughter, his smile…it hurt that he would never see those things again. Danny had a similar reaction, clinging to Linda. Erin stared at her brothers, she went to her father for the supportive hug she needed, Jamie was right, she never did know true love, sadly she didn't believe he knew it either.

At exactly two, the funeral home filled nearly to capacity. The security detail lined up to permit only family and close friends in to view the slides, but the entire funeral home could hear Eddie sing.

The funeral director turned on the slide show, Eddie didn't want to be announced or given attention, she just wanted to pay a beautiful tribute to Henry.

 _From the day we arrive on the planet_

 _And blinking, step into the sun_

 _There's more to be seen than can ever be seen_

 _More to do than can ever be done_

 _Some say eat or be eaten_

 _Some say live and let live_

 _But all are agreed as they join the stampede_

 _You should never take more than you give_

Pictures of Henry from his baby years began to float across the screen. The family had taken a long trip down memory lane to find the photographs and have them put together. The choreography with the lyrics was nearly perfect. The photos morphed into Henry as a child playing with his ball on the street near his house, riding his bike, selling newspapers, and helping the elderly in the neighborhood, the things he instilled in his family, he had demonstrated himself.

 _In the circle of life_

 _It's the wheel of fortune_

 _It's the leap of faith_

 _It's the band of hope_

 _Till we find our place_

 _On the path unwinding_

 _In the circle, the circle of life_

Henry was handsome in his Korean War uniform and more when he married his Betty. A picture of both his parents smiling at him got Frank in the heart. He took a deep breath to keep his cool, but it was quickly fading. Danny and Jamie reached over at the same time to lend their strength to their Dad, they had their time to cry, this was his.

Eddie had to battle through the chorus when she saw the rock-solid commissioner faltering but to make a misstep here would not be a fitting tribute to Henry. She locked eyes with Jamie as her steady voice sang out the next verse.

 _Some of us fall by the wayside_

 _And some of us soar to the stars_

 _And some of us sail through our troubles_

 _And some have to live with the scars_

 _There's far too much to take in here_

 _More to find than can ever be found_

 _But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky_

 _Keeps great and small on the endless round_

One picture of Peter Christopher floated across the screen, then pictures of Henry with a little baby Frank; he was a dedicated cop and excellent young father. Frank looked to be the picture of a happy little boy, learning to hit a T ball, riding his bike, sitting behind the wheel of his first car, all with his father at his side.

The next frames were of Henry with his grandchildren, one by one, as they were born. Each picture that flashed caused another Reagan to fall. When Jamie's resolved buckled, Eddie longed to stop the song and rush to hold him. She knew that he needed this from her though. She knew it.

 _In the circle of life_

 _It's the wheel of fortune_

 _It's the leap of faith_

 _It's the band of hope_

 _Till we find our place_

 _On the path unwinding_

 _In the circle, the circle of life_

Finally, the "GGs" as Henry called them, a picture of him holding each other from Nikki down to Max. There was a picture of him performing with Nikki in the talent show, cheering for Jack and Sean at the derby races, and holding Max on his lap as the little boy intently studied the piano keys. For the final frame, there was a picture of all the Reagans, including the three that had passed, their photo on the mantel in the background. As Eddie held the last note, the video stopped. She rushed to Jamie's side and put her arms around him, she could feel eyes on her, not Reagan eyes either, but again she didn't' care. This was her commitment now; the rest was just a matter of timing.

Eddie looked to up see Tom standing in the back of the funeral home. She put a gentle kiss on Jamie's forehead and went to see him. Spencer watched Eddie and Jamie interact. He knew now that he had been terribly wrong in his assumption that Eddie was causing problems for Jamie. She loved him, and he loved her. It was clear as day and he knew he owned his friend and his girl a huge apology. He would issue that when things settled a bit.

Jamie turned to see Eddie and Tom. He had his arms around her side and was kissing her head. Jamie felt the good old green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head. He was ready for this to be over, he'd been patient, truth was he still would be patient, but he was ready to move one. Eddie was his, if he had to be the mistress for a bit, then so bit it but she was his girl and that was that.

Jamie knew he loved Eddie from the first minute he ever laid eyes on her, he wasn't' ready to accept it then but it was true, still, hearing her sing that stunning tribute to his grandpa…her voice had reached inside of his heart and wrapped it in a warm blanket of love and safety. She had talent to grab you in the emotions and for you to feel her feeling through her voice Jamie could see her rocking their babies and singing them to sleep just like she did now for Max and April. Jamie could see from Eddie's body language Tom was pressuring her.

"April is doing just fine," Eddie told him. "She loves playing with Max, I'll be home the night after the funeral. Jamie and his family need me, they need the help. When April was taken, they all stood up for us and helped us," Eddie reminded him.

Once again, Tom felt himself relenting to Eddie's wishes. If he pushed too hard now, he'd come off like an ogre, hard and unfeeling for this family's profound loss. "I'll see you tomorrow at the burial then, give my best to the family. When things settle down, I'd like to talk to Frank about a memorial fund for Henry. Something to do with the PAL or a charity he was fond of."

Things like that were Tom's forte, he would always impress in that way and Eddie would miss that generous spirit, but the love that she would have with Jamie, making their family was worth that and then some.

Eddie checked in on the kids then sat down next to Jamie. "You holding up?"

Jamie nodded, "I was doing okay until I saw Dad, he's outside now talking with Baker and Gormly, his close group, I think he feels he can be open in front of them, if not us. I hate how this feels, but your voice, Eddie…the way you sang that song."

Eddie shrugged, "It's a gift honey. It's a gift and I'm proud to share it and teach it. In a few years, Max and I can do a duet like Pop and Nikki did. Speaking of the kids, Anita said we have a fuss budget at home"

"You want to go back, help her out, I'm okay here. I'll be back in an hour," Jamie offered. "No, I'm going to stay with you," was Eddie's quick reply. She didn't' want to leave his side.

This time Eddie put the babies down to sleep and Jamie took some time to shower and relax. When Eddie got into the bedroom after singing the children to sleep, Jamie had the covers back for her to crawl in. It was unspoken they would make love, they both needed to connect and move earth…how they always did. Eddie dropped the oversized robe she was wearing and revealed her body to Jamie's view. He smiled and reached for her, pulling her into the bed until her soft, naked breasts were flush against his hot skin.

"You're burning," Eddie whispered softly. "You're…"

"I'm burning…" Jamie murmured and slid her delicate hand to the place he throbbed most.

Their lips met in a frenzy of passion, they didn't intend for this to escalate with heat, but their bodies had other ideas. Jamie's touch was as eager as it was tender and Eddie's kiss as hungry as it was fulfilling. It was possible to lust and love at the same time, they were learning this as the time wore on. "Are you sure that it's okay?" Eddie asked as Jamie's grip tightened. "This is your family home; your dad is down the hall…"

"It's fine," Jamie replied. "It is fine, I love you, and they know it."

When he was sure, that Eddie was comfortable. Jamie flipped so Eddie was on her back. His hands stroked her breasts, down over the flat plane of her stomach. He could see the outline of the pouch she carried April in, he wants a baby of their own to grow there some day, God willing.

Eddie pushed her legs up, welcoming Jamie's body into her own. "Please she sighed. "Please come home with me," she pleaded.

He didn't relent, not yet. Her hips bucked involuntarily, her sex pressing against his hand demanding him to connect with her.

Eddie moaned and cried out, "Jamie!" Quickly he silenced her again with his kiss before entering her body at a snail's pace. It was so slow it was painful for Eddie as she waited for the final connection, then finally with one mighty thrust it was upon them. "Eddie!" "Jamie!" Their voices blended, her back arched, his hips lunged…they connected physical and spiritually, their eyesight dimming with passion, their hearts racing then stopping a moment, as their love truly stopped time.

Forehead to forehead, Eddie and Jamie laid on the bed, dozing off in the aftermath. "That was," Eddie whispered with a small smile.

"Yes, it was," Jamie replied. "I was thinking about something you said in Montana, about our love evolving. I think it did too, I really do. I feel more connected and more…everything with you now since we got back together this last time. I don't want anything, not my family, Tom, work, anything to break us up. Anything that happens, we talk it out, maybe take a day off but we talk about it…"

Eddie leaned over, "Seal it with a kiss…like Pop would ask."

The kiss was soft and light, full of hope and promise for the coming months, years, and decades for their lives. As Jamie was cradling Eddie in his arms, they heard a soft mewling cry over the monitor. "I'll get her," Jamie replied knowing it was April by the tone of her tears.

Jamie padded into the bedroom and saw the little girl, eyes wide looking around. Her little stuffie was on the floor. "Did you drop your toy?" Jamie asked and picked up the animal. April took it and hugged it but still cried her heart out.

'Okay, you're scared, you want Momma," Jamie decided and picked April up. She put her chubby arms around his neck and held on tight.

Jamie brought April into bed with him and Eddie. "She's not wet, she dropped her toy but…"

Eddie nodded and took April in her arms, rocking the little girl softly. "She does this some nights, most nights she's down the whole time and sleeps well but a few nights she's…"

Jamie stroked April's back and hair as she settled against her mother's chest. "Sometimes I forget April's the baby of this group, you know?" Jamie commented. "She's mature, she's so smart then I see this…" Jamie smiled and was surprised when April turned and crawled to him.

"Aww, how sweet" Eddie smiled. "She takes after me, knows where she'll be safe and secure."

Jamie moved April, so she was lying in his arms. She tucked her head to the side and closed her tiny eyes. She fell asleep snuggled tight in Jamie's arms. "You want me to put her back?"

Eddie shook her head, "When she's fussy she keeps doing it, do you mind?" Jamie looked down at the precious baby he was snuggling. "Not at all."


	103. Chapter 103

Chapter One Hundred Three

The morning of Henry's funeral dawned bright and sunny. Jamie looked out the window with April, "Birdie…You see the pretty, blue birdie…"

April reached and moved her hand, opening and closing it, "Burtie." She looked at Jamie for his approval.

"Good girl…" Jamie smiled. Eddie stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in a black suit, white blouse, and her cameo pin. "All yours," Eddie replied. "I'll take her and Max downstairs and get them fed."

Anita was busy setting up for the repast, Max was already in his high chair with Cheerios and a banana. When the kids were fed, they left for the funeral. It was a huge affair, shields from all over were lining the streets as Henry had full honors.

The Reagan house was full following the Mass and graveside service. Many people commented on Frank's touching eulogy as they passed him entering the house. Eddie made a plate and sat on the sofa, Jamie was engaged with some people from work and Tom was present. She picked at the snacks and listened to the stories being shared about Henry. She felt the couch dip and looked up to see Spencer. "I'll give you your space," Eddie replied and got up.

"No wait," Spencer said. "I want to say I'm sorry. I spent the last couple days watching you and…you love him so much, you make him a priority and that is so rare. I don't know that kind of love, I'm jealous, I might look like a carefree bachelor but deep down, it's the love you share with Jamie I want."

Eddie smiled, "You will find it. There is someone out there for everyone and if you stop this crazy stuff, drinking blind, falling on your butt, acting like a jerk…you might find her."

Spencer took her advice for what it was, "If that's what it takes to earn a prize like you, I might try it."

He got up to move through the room, perhaps his Mrs. Right was just under his nose.

"So, Frank was agreeable about the charity," Tom told Eddie as they talked in the corner of the house. "You think you'll be ready to come home soon?" Tom rubbed her arms up and down. "I miss you, our bed is so cold…"

Eddie sighed, she would have to tell him in a few days at the most. "Later, perhaps. April is playing with Max and Jamie is still struggling…"

Tom turned to see Jamie, he had a pretty brunette hanging on his arm. Jamie pulled his arm back and stepped away though he was still speaking.

"I'm glad you came to pay your respects, Camille. Pop and your grandma were good friends, he spoke highly of her," Jamie smiled. "Where is she? I'd like to say hello."

Eddie saw the body language, but Jamie was still engaging her, that was puzzling. She didn't like Camille was even here, she was secure in her love for Jamie and ready to leave Tom for him. It bothered her, she hated that she was near her Jamie.

Eddie stood up, "I'm going to check on the food and see if Anita needs more hands," she told Tom. She had to get away from it, it was too much in her line of vision to stand it.

Kara saw her friend moving away and could see the reason clear as day. Eddie was, once again, jealous of Jamie's interaction with a woman. She was upset so easily about that kind of thing. Kara watched Jamie trying slowly to escape her, moving slowly back and forth.

Eddie sat down with Anita and took April on her lap, "Hello, my girl…" She cuddled the child and kissed her head. "Anita, I want to march up to that woman, tell her to let him go but…"

"Who? What woman?" Anita asked, she'd been in the kitchen hadn't seen that little display.

"The one that came for Max the time he had the fit at our house and Jamie said he couldn't come anymore," Eddie replied. "She's hanging on him like laundry on a line, but I don't want to make a scene and Tom's here."

"Well, Mr. Tom I can fix," Anita replied. "But you are right about a scene, Jamie loves you, there is nothing to be worried about hmmm?"

"I'm not worried, I'm just…" Eddie sighed.

"Jealous and green is a bad color on you, Ms. Eddie," Anita replied. "But if you are going to stay in the kitchen, make yourself useful and taste this."

Kara worked her way over to Jamie. She was still on a cane and often lost her energy, but her recovery was going very well. As for her marriage, Matt was currently living at the extended stay hotel, they were officially separated. She wanted and deserved what Eddie had with Jamie, she wanted that for Matt too. She moved to Jamie's side, "Hey, I was just looking for Eddie, I don't know if you saw that she went maybe to the kitchen…" Kara raised her eyebrow, a clue Jamie got that Camille did not.

Jamie nodded, "I'm not sure, but you need to be resting your leg. I'll go look and send her over."

Jamie shook his head, Eddie had seen him with Camille, and it must have got under her skin the way Tom got under his. He hated it, he absolutely hated when Tom touched her in his line of sight and she was Tom's wife, Tom had a right to touch her, Camille was just an ex, that's all she was.

Jamie stepped into the kitchen, "There you are…Anita, is that banana bread, one of Pop's favorites."

"Dessert is coming out, Ms. Eddie can you watch this for me please I have to use the bathroom," Anita excused herself, so they could talk.

"Green green go away," Jamie sang gently. "She's driving me nuts, not getting the word."

"Maybe the word isn't firm enough," Eddie replied. "I'm not…"

"Don't say you aren't jealous, you are, I know you, but I know how to put a stop to this, come with me." Jamie took Eddie's hand and led her to where Camille was filling her soda up. "Camille, I don't think I properly introduced you to Eddie, my girlfriend. Eddie, this is Camille, she was a friend of Pop's."

The look on Camille's face said it all, Jamie Reagan was not going to have a change of heart, he was taken, and he was happy. Camille smiled and shook Eddie's hand, "We met once, Eddie, if I remember is a wonderful mother." That made Eddie smile.

Eddie was back and forth to the Reagan house most of the week, for Jamie and more so, for Max. The little boy had been disrupted by Henry's death, he was his pal, his caregiver while Jamie worked and now he was suddenly gone. On Friday of that week, Eddie sat with Jamie on the sofa, her feet on his lap. "It's just going to be hard for you, Anita will do it and he likes her but…"

"I know, to get him there every day and home when I'm working," Jamie shook his head.

Eddie shifted and snuggled next to the pillow, wiggling her bare feet. "We need to talk to Tom this week, either this weekend or next I need to get this over with and we need to be a family."

"We do, we need to move on and build our life together," Jamie replied. "I'll call Hal and set up an appointment for this week, maybe Thursday and get ready then you can talk to Tom, but for this weekend," Jamie raised Eddie's foot and placed a kiss on the top of it. "I think we should call the Plaza use the money from the pool game and just escape."

Eddie considered it for a few minutes, she barely saw Tom during the week, there would be no chance for pressure, and they did need the connection so badly. "What about Max?"

"Danny said they would keep him, he does well there," Jamie assured her. "Should I call?"

Eddie nodded, "Go on and call, we need it, you're right. I'm glad you thought of it."

Jamie moved Eddie's feet and picked up the phone to make the reservation for the following night, complete with room service and a carriage ride in Central Park. Eddie leaned back and smiled, they had connected here, but it wasn't the same for her. The both needed to let loose and let go, to be alone together, and now they would get that.

"I'm headed home," Eddie smiled after Jamie was done making the plans. "I have to pack for the Plaza, my man is going to be there."

"Wear that black lacy one that hits the floor," Jamie directed. "And that's all you need."

Eddie smiled, "Probably won't make it on. Call me if you need me to sing to Max again. I love you."

They kissed softly, then Eddie picked up April and headed for her car. She couldn't wait for their special time together, and Jamie couldn't either.

Eddie only had to pack a small bag, they were going for just one night and the plans were simple. "I'm glad you are doing this, Ms. Eddie," Anita replied. "Ms. April and I will have a slumber party. Say yay! Do yay!"

April put her arms up and yelled, "YAAAAYYY!" at the top of her voice. Eddie smiled at her pretty girl, "Mommy loves you, I'll see you tomorrow. Wave bye bye…"

April waved and called out, "Bye Bye…" as Eddie headed out of the house.

Eddie met Jamie in the lobby of the hotel, he came after his tour and was waiting in their room with a bottle of champagne and a bucket of strawberries. He was already in his relaxing clothes, a pair of lounge pants and a tee shirt. "Hey there, handsome," Eddie smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "Oh, champagne and strawberries, I feel like Julia Roberts."

Jamie laughed, "But this isn't a booty call and you are much prettier than Julia Roberts."

Eddie quickly unloaded her things and slipped into the nightie Jamie asked her to wear. He was sitting on the bed with two flutes of champagne. "Let's drink a toast, to being partners, to being in love, and to Pop, we are keeping our promise."

Eddie stroked Jamie's cheek, it was clear how much he missed Henry. She touched her glass to his and took a sip, "Oh, this is good." Eddie knew it set Jamie back a lot, but he was smiling for the first time that week for more than a minute. Eddie fed Jamie a berry and he fed her one. They simply laid on their bed together, being close, not even really touching. Eddie could feel the intensity of Jamie' love flowing between them, an energy she had detected nearly from the very first day.

Eddie slowly laid her head on Jamie's chest, his arms came around her, holding her to him. It felt so good to just hold her close and not worry if someone saw. The family knew, but Eddie got a little nervous if she thought someone would see. Jamie looked at her hands, she was only wearing his ring, tonight at least she was totally and completely his.

The room service came earlier than Jamie anticipated, but after a long day, they were both hungry. They enjoyed the meal, finger foods again, a staple and a favorite. Eddie stood up and went around to Jamie's side of the table. "You still haven't kissed me, "she complained.

"Of course, I did," Jamie countered. "I kissed you when you came in the door."

"That, that was nothing but a peck, maybe for you it passed for a kiss," she teased. "But for me…you can do better, can't you? All the hot Irish blood…"

Jamie smiled at her, he knew her game now and he played along gladly. "Come to me, and I'll show you…"

For a moment, he simply cradled her to his chest, then he cupped her face and captured her mouth beneath his and kissed her with the same tender heat he had the very first time. Their kisses were explosions of sensation and pleasure, that left them both trembling and breathless.

With the first touch of his lips, she made a soft sound, deeper throatier than he remembered and melted against him. Whether it was a moan or a sigh, a sound of pleasure, it clearly was. Teasing her lips apart with his tongue, he took her mouth and held her closer, letting her feel his hardness, his need. He showered her with his kisses, with the skillful play of his tongue and lips, how very much he wanted to be a part of her. How he ached to take her body as he was taking her mouth, to fill her with himself.

As he deepened the kiss, he gently curled his hand over her breast. The soft mound swelled to fill his palm, lust sizzled through him, primitive and raw, as the small nipple hardened in response to his touch.

They needed each other, they needed this time so badly. With a shiver, she opened her mouth, gasping as his tongue surged inside it, to war with hers. The nipple under his thumb hardened, making the ache in his groin unbearable. He rubbed the nubbin again, as a shivery moan escaped her lips, caressing his cheek like a warm sweet April Montana breeze.

"How's that for a kiss, my Eddie?" Jamie whispered thickly in her long golden locks when the kiss ended. "I want more than kisses from you."

Eddie took Jamie's hand and put it over her breast, she was trembling when she looked up at him. She needed and wanted so much more than kisses, they both needed and wanted their lovers' connection.

He cupped her chin again and tilted her face. He kissed her tenderly, pressing her back against the nightstand as he did so. As they kissed, his hand dipped beneath the hem of her nightie and traveled up her silky legs, thrusting up the skirt to caress her ankles, calves and knees.

Kneeling at her feet, he rolled down the silk stockings she was wearing to ward off the evening chill. They were a pleasant surprise, allowing him to gently caress and massage her shapely legs as he took the stockings off, one by one, before venturing higher to caress her thighs.

Moments later, he wet his finger in his mouth and eased it between the velvety petals of her opening, she was ready, so blessed ready.

With a shudder, he eased his finger deeper, until it was fully inside of her. He groaned with pleasure against her sweet mouth as the tender flesh sheathed his finger. She was so tight.

Eddie took her hand and placed it on Jamie's sex. Her caress was light as butterfly wings. Exquisite. Gentle. The blood thundered through his veins, scattering conscious thought. Sweat began trickling a sensual journey down his face.

He took his time to undress her, lingering on the straps over her shoulders. He suckled at the base of her throat. He pushed the gown down lower and revealed the dip of her navel, then the lush curve of her womanly hips. He kissed and gently nibbled the rosy flesh he bared, he savored the taste, the intoxicating scent and changing textures of her body. He inhaled the faint yet tantalizing fragrance that was hers and hers alone. How many nights had this scent haunted his dreams?

"My sweet, Eddie," he whispered as she stepped from the nightgown, her beautiful body revealed to him once more. "Do you know how lovely you are, my sweetheart?"

He plunged his fingers deep into her hair, he tipped her head back, so he could kiss her again. His mouth was hungry, his kiss passionate and deep, reaching to the depths of their souls. They tasted each other again and again, until she moaned against his lips. The sounds she uttered made his belly contract and ache. She twisted restlessly in his arms, she pressed against him. "Please, Jamie! Oh, please!" she whispered urgently.

"Yes," Jamie gasped as her hands went to push down his pants. "Oh yes…"

He lifted her against his hardness, then stopped and held her gaze. They communicated silently, they both knew this was not just about lust and passion, though they felt that, it was also about losing and being found, about leaving and coming home, this was much more than heat…they both understood.

He took in the flush of her skin, his mouth drew another kiss, and received another impassioned cry from her as, he cupped her breasts. He kneaded them, he tugged each pink bud between his teeth in turn, until they stood up. Her ample breasts rubbed against his chest, and heated slip and slide of her bare body against his was more than he could bare.

He swept her up and placed her on the edge of the bed, then knelt between her thighs, putting his mouth to her soft cleft. His tongue danced over her. With a hoarse cry, she knotted her fingers in his hair, crying out as the blaze consumed her with overwhelming sensation.

He stepped between her legs, lifted them high and thrust forward. With a groan, he drove deep into her sweet flesh. She twined her legs around his waist to hold him inside her. The fierce embrace of her thighs proved almost too much. Their eyes met, and he slowed the tempo of his thrusts, riding her slowly, deeply, postponing his own release.

He meant to be inside her when the dam broke, to watch her lovely, expressive eyes as her body contracted along his length. Only then would he seek the pleasure of his own climax and spill himself inside of her.

When he did, he was lost in the pleasures of her sweet, female flesh, he prayed he would forget the sorrow that had become his companion this long week. As her body arched, she prayed she would forget the guilt and anxiety she had lived with trying to conceal a secret she no longer wished to keep.

The delicious stretching sensations, the surge of fulfillment went on and on for them both. Jamie withdrew and thrust, and each powerful stroke deepened his possession, increased the erotic sensations exploding through Eddie's frame.

Insatiable, she arched upward to meet his thrusts, unable to get enough of him and the soul level connection they shared, the emotion they so deeply felt for each other.

It was fragile, that emotion, vulnerable, and real. She ran her hands down over his hard, lean body. He was so beautiful, so hard, so strong, so different from her own warm softness. She stroked his back, all muscle, then his chest, past a flat belly, to the ridge of the hard flesh that gave her so much pleasure.

Her fingers bit into his shoulders, she clung to him, caught up in a delight to exquisite for words. A throaty moan escaped her as a second, almost unbearable explosion ricocheted through her; her lips were pressed to the silky, salty maleness of his skin.

As her body pulsed around him, he grew very still, poised above her with his dark head thrown back, his blue eyes closed. Then he gripped her hips, shouting her name as he drove into her one last glorious time. He shuddered and fell forward across her.

She lay there unmoving, scarcely breathing, waiting for the pulses to recede. In the stillness, she felt his seed spurt into her and smiled thinking of the day when that would start his baby growing inside her.

When he made to roll off her, she held fast, she didn't want to let him go. Not now. Not yet. She wanted to lie there, joined to him, and savor the way he was feeling forever.

Their legs entwined, their fingers linked. Their hearts settled, their bodies cooled, but they still remained linked, body to body, heart to heart.


	104. Chapter 104

Chapter One Hundred Four

When Eddie woke up the bed next to her was empty and cold. She slid out and pulled on Jamie's abandoned tee shirt. He wasn't in the bathroom, or in the living area. The breeze caught her arms and she turned to see the French doors leading to the balcony open. Eddie moved closer and saw Jamie standing staring out as dawn spread its rosy fingers over their beloved city.

Eddie came up behind Jamie and nuzzled his back. "You've been up a while, the bed is cold," Eddie whispered laying her cheek on his naked back.

"This was his favorite time of day," Jamie sighed. "When Max was tiny, before the trip to Montana when Claudia had hit me, I took him there for safe keeping. I got up to feed him and there was Max, having a bottle with Pop, just two guys hanging out. We did that a lot, break ups, rough days on the jobs. In a lot of ways, he was a friend too, you know?"

"No," Eddie replied. "No, I don't know honey, I wish I did. I hurt for you, Jamie. I miss Pop too, but I hurt for you."

Jamie turned around to reveal tears on his cheeks, "I miss him so much. I try to be…"

Eddie held Jamie tight, "I know, but you had a big loss just like the rest of the family. Remember him, sweetheart, remember him and hold him in your heart. This Sunday, watch the video, remember the things you all see, share your memories."

Jamie inhaled the scent of Eddie's hair, "I'm not sure Dad is ready for that, he's going to be really alone there when we move out and I'm…"

"Your Dad will be fine, we can get a house really close by, April and Max love their grandpa time too, we will make it work," Eddie promised. "I love you and your father, we'll make it work."

Eddie's words touched Jamie's heart, she tried to soothe him and make him feel safe and secure again. "You hungry or do you want more sleep? We have a few more hours before the carriage ride."

"Let's order room service, eat and watch the city," Jamie suggested. "What do you want?"

Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek. "I'll handle it, rest on the lounge, you need some rest, you do."

Eddie made sure Jamie was comfortable then ordered a spread containing pancakes, fluffy omelets and fruit. Eddie set the table up while Jamie napped in the morning sun. She laid on the lounge with him and kissed him awake, breakfast is ready"

The couple shared a leisurely meal then put on their "tourist" clothes for a walk in the park before their ride. They held hands and talked about the upcoming week, what was coming. "Are you okay with it? Are you scared?"

"No," Eddie replied. "I'm ready for this, I do want to be prepared for this talk. There will be hurt feelings certainly but as long as the arrangement is fair for April, I can handle anything with you by my side."

Jamie kissed her hair softly, "My thoughts exactly."

Jamie held Eddie's hand as she got into the carriage. He slid his arms around her and she settled into his side. The carriage moved slowly taking them around the park, they saw children playing, couples walking and talking, the sights and sounds of New York were all prevalent. Jamie's hand entwined with Eddie's, soon they would have afternoon lover's walks and family fun days. April on the swings, Max on the slide…both of them chasing birds and clapping their hands. Their future was just over the horizon now.

"What are you thinking about?" Eddie asked Jamie seeing the look on his face.

"Our future," Jamie replied. "We're on the cusp of that now, a life together, with our jobs, our kids…and you and me like this at the end of each day."

Eddie kissed Jamie's hand, "God's bliss. We'll have our struggles, and our triumphs, but we've been through so much already, I honestly believe there is nothing we can't face."

Jamie felt that way as well, "You know if you want me there, I'll be there."

"Let's see, I would love your support, but I need to be sure that we don't anger him too much. Since he broke off with Sue, it's worse. He does want to be with me, and he tries to make plans with me…"

"I know and it's a lot of pressure, this time next week, it will be over. Dad said you can have the guest room if you need it. You aren't alone in this Eddie, you never were."

Eddie turned and kissed Jamie her thanks and her love as their horse returned to his station. It was time for them to part for now, but in just a few short days, that would all be over, parting ways would be a memory.

The pair stayed in touch by text the next few days and met in front of the lawyer's office for their four thirty appointment. Eddie was in a suit, inadvertently matching Jamie. "You okay?" he asked kissing her lips.

"Yeah, I'm good, I'm ready for this," Eddie replied. 'Let's go in."

Hand in hand, they walked into the office and spoke to reception. They were directed to the conference room where they were offered a beverage and asked to wait until Hal could see them.

Jamie could tell by the way Eddie held his hand that it was a front. She was scared to death but didn't want to let on to him or anyone that asking for a divorce she needed and wanted intimidated her. While they waited for Hal to come in, Jamie pulled Eddie tight to him. He inhaled and rocked a bit, trying to take the anxiety from her voice, her body, and most of all her heart.

Jamie didn't speak yet, he knew that Eddie could feel his love and support with his arms around her. When they heard the door knob turn, they broke apart and sat in their seats.

Hal was a handsome man, a bit older than Jamie. His smile was soft and gentle and made Eddie feel at ease almost instantly. "So, you want to divorce your husband, and he's one of the richest men in the world, and you are concerned he'll use him money to keep your daughter from you when you ask for divorce and marry Jamie, does that about sum it up?"

"One of the richest men in the world," Jamie thought to himself. "And she's giving that up for me and our life. How in the world can I compete? If he doesn't…" Jamie turned his attention to Eddie as she began to speak.

Eddie nodded, "I don't think he will, but I'm afraid he will. He had a mistress for our entire marriage, but in all fairness, I was with Jamie that long. It's just now he's broken up with her and he's trying to force the sexual side of things and I'm concerned."

"You could have a fight on your hands," Hal suggested. "But you might be able to negotiate with him as well. You indicated you want to speak to him about the split and not just serve him so, assure him that you will not cut off his access to your daughter, that he will be a full part of her life and make your demands for support limited to the child and a small stipend for you."

"I'm not even worried about alimony, Jamie and I work, as long as April doesn't fall through the cracks, I want custody, but she can see Tom, I don't want to hurt anyone, least wise my baby girl."

Hal smiled, "If you speak to him like that, and he's a reasonable man, you'll be fine. If he's not, I will take the case and I will not allow the money to intimidate me, all right?"

Eddie smiled wide and shook Hal's hand. Jamie thanked him, and they headed out of the office.

They stood in each other's arms outside the office for ten minutes, not even speaking. Jamie kissed Eddie's hair, "You are being so brave, and I am going to be by you every step of the way. I don't have Tom's money, but I'll do all I can to give you the richest life possible. I love you and April so much. You were there for me with Claudia, when things were at their worst, I will be there. I promise."

Eddie nodded, "I know and I'm not scared, I'm just nervous, if that makes any sense. Let's go get some dinner, then, if it's okay with you, I'm meeting Kara for drinks."

"Of course, it's ok, I think while you're with Kara I'll meet Danny and catch up with him. Maybe if there's time afterward we can meet to steel one more goodbye kiss?"

Eddie smiled, "Two peas in a pod, I was just thinking that."

Kara was already waiting for Eddie when she got to the bar. There was a pitcher of beer and a bucket of wings. "That better be a fifty bucket," Eddie smiled and greeted her friend. "How you feeling?"

"The leg is draggy,' Kara replied. "But all in all, I'm not bad, I'm back on a desk on Monday. I' can't wait, cabin fever and all that."

"I'm glad, and I'm sorry I've been so busy, there's no excuse," Eddie began but Kara hushed her. "Jamie needed you and you had no choice, I know that. You had no choice. I do wish I had that in my life. I deserve it and I'm going to hold you to that hospital bed promise okay?"

Eddie clinked her mug to Kara's, "Oh, you know what I just remembered when Jamie and I were in Montana, we ran into Luke. He asked about you."

Kara's face lit up, she only encountered Luke for a few hours, but she remembered him fondly. "What did he say?"

"He wanted to know how you were and when I told him you had been hurt he was very concerned, and wished you well," Eddie replied. "But he lit up when we talked about you. You should sign up for next year."

Kara agreed to consider it.

Across the room, seated in nearly identical positions, Jamie and Danny were sharing a beer. They didn't know yet they were also sharing the room with Kara and Eddie. "So, she's going to do it, well it's about time because Eddie needs to be family already, you need to get married to a woman without a psych diagnosis and that's that."

Jamie laughed. "She met with Hal, and he said that if she's careful and reasonable he doesn't think Tom will be an issue. It's her baby girl, I mean, Eddie bought my son for me, she paid Claudia money for him, I can't do that for her, you know?"

Danny nodded and smiled, "I know that, the big-name lawyer connection is the best you can do, so you did it. I'm proud of you kid."

Jamie sipped at his beer, "I owe you so much, Danny. You stood up for me, you stood by me and you stood up for Eddie, you don't know how much that means to me."

"Aww, don't get sappy on me," Danny sighed. "Actually, I'm curious about one thing…when you and Eddie first got together, you told me how and insatiable she was, hot incredible the sex was…so now you're a couple years in, knocking on the door of marriage, you can't still, with all the crap this relationship has been through, be having top ten sex."

Jamie turned red as a beet.

"He's being so sweet, Kara," Eddie told her. "He's telling me how much he loves me and April, how he'll give us all he can give. He already does that, he loves us so much. I'm just afraid that since there is no Sue to lick wounds Tom is going to fight harder."

"All you can do is your best," Kara replied. "Matt and I tried, we really did, but we're done. He's in the motel and I'm home with the kids. They are even relieved; the tension was so hard on them."

"I'm lucky April's so young, she's perceptive, but a few hugs and kisses and she settles down. Anything you need I'm here for you," Eddie reassured. "Even if it is just to help you find your soulmate. He's out there, and you might already know him."

"Okay, enough of this sad talk," Kara smiled. "Fill me in, you two have been in a pretty physical relationship for two years. For me and Matt, it was already stale by that time, so how is…"

Just as Eddie was about to answer, she spied Jamie out of the corner of her eye. "Oh my God, he's here. He was meeting Danny for beers and they came here."

Jamie was talking with his hands, he was animated and happy. That made Eddie smile. And as she suspected, he was talking about her.

"On a scale from 1 to 10...It's a 15, an 18…" Jamie told his brother when he shook his embarrassment. "I can't rate it Danny, it's just special and it's…it's evolved, it's grown from exploration to…but even with there being more communication more, emotion…it's the best sex I have had bar none!"

Danny laughed, "Well good for you, Kid. Make sure you keep that girl happy now, a hellcat in the sack is a dime a dozen, but one that you love and connect with…that's a gift and you embrace that. Even with me and Linda, it…died down a bit at times, so I'm glad for you."

Kara and Eddie were laughing, "He's talking about our sex life, he's spilling details to his brother. I totally need to bust him."

Kara laughed, "Let's send them a round and wave at them."

Eddie rubbed her hands together, "Yes, let's!"

"She does this thing," Jamie went on and on. "With her legs, from the job her thighs are solid, and she squeezes…"

"Gentlemen," the bar tender greeted. "Compliments of the ladies over there."

Jamie looked up to see Eddie and Kara sitting across the way. Jamie turned even redder than he did when Danny asked him the question. "She knows, she knows we were talking about her…"

"Well, yeah, now she does, we can hang you on the corner and you can stop traffic," Danny laughed. "Come on, let's get a table."

Danny took the pitcher and watched as Jamie approached Eddie and pulled her into his arms. "Small world huh?" Jamie asked snuggling her tight. "Girl talk?"

Eddie nodded, "Boy talk?" Jamie blushed even deeper. Eddie laughed, "You are so busted…"

The foursome sat down at the table and shared the pitcher of beer. Talk quickly turned to work and Kara's recovery, the intimate discussions between friends and siblings were not for a group of four. Still, it ended up being a nice night, four cops and good friends over beers and wings.


	105. Chapter 105

Chapter One Hundred Five

Jamie took Eddie's hand as they parted ways and pulled her into the alley beside the bar. He leaned over and grabbed her lips in a fast, but powerful kiss. "Thief," she laughed and held onto him tighter.

"Promised we'd meet to steal a kiss," Jamie replied. "You have fun? You need to get out with her and spend time doing these special things for you too."

"I know, you too with Danny, they were our biggest advocates, our greatest help in this," Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest. "Come Sunday, we might not need them in that capacity anymore, but we'll still need them."

this week you need or want to meet you let me know. We'll get through the wait, we'll get through the rest of the week, we'll get through Sunday, and we'll move on with our lives and our family. I love you."

Eddie kissed Jamie, letting her hand linger on his cheek, "I love you, too."

Jamie walked Eddie to her car, she turned in her direction, he turned in his direction each thinking it was just three short days until they didn't have to do that again.

Jamie's phone was blowing up most of Saturday. Eddie was nervous about the Sunday morning conversation and couldn't settle down or sleep. Jamie stayed on the phone with her until the wee hours. "Do you want me to come out, I can just sit in the car and be there…"

"No," Eddie replied. "No, I'm fine, I just. I wish you were here to rub my back like you do sometimes."

Jamie thought a minute, "You want to meet? I'll come close to you we can meet."

"No, it's okay" Eddie replied. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep and I'll meet you at the house around 1230. Anita will have April there before if that is still okay."

"Of course, Dad is ready to play grandpa with her and Max, he's going to make Mickey Mouse pancakes," Jamie laughed. "Don't worry about April, baby. Don't worry about anything."

Jamie kept talking softly and Eddie slowly relaxed. "Feel my hands on your shoulders, my fingers are touching your neck, your shoulders, working those muscles, just gently rubbing. I am with you, I am always with you. I love you."

Eddie felt her eyes close and she sighed, "Love you…"

Eddie was up at eight and ready for Tom when he finally got up at 930. She had some fruit salad out and their coffee and juice. She felt like she wanted to throw up and dance for joy all at once. "Good morning, sweetheart," Tom greeted her. "Where is our precious princess this morning?"

"Anita took her to a friend's house," Eddie replied. "You and I really need to talk, sit down…"

Eddie took a deep breath as Tom sat and sipped his coffee, "Tom, you have to know that I love you. You are a dear friend and April's father and that will…"

Tom took a long deep breath and moved his right hand to his left arm. "Tom?" Eddie could tell that he didn't hear a word she said and that he was in a great deal of pain. Her training began to kick in, "Tom, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"My chest," he managed and reached out for her hand. Eddie held his grip tight for just a moment then she pulled back to unbutton his shirt.

"Let's get your shirt open, and here…' Eddie grabbed the baby aspirin from the counter. "Chew this, I'm calling for help. Hold on…."

A call to the mansion on the hill was a priority always, Tom almost soley funded the EMS there. They got him into the ambulance with Eddie on their heels. His rhythm was very sketchy, he was soaked with perspiration, his eyes closing slowly.

Eddie brushed tears out of her eyes, she didn't want this to happen, it was scary to see him lying there vulnerable and sick. She reached for her phone and text Jamie.

"Yum Yum…" Frank smiled as he fed Max and April his breakfast special. Both babies were in their chairs, taking the food from tiny spoons under their own power. "Easy there April girl,' Frank coaxed. "You need that inside you so you grow big and strong."

April laughed at him and offered him the eggs on her spoon. Jamie was seasoning a chicken for Sunday dinner when his phone went off, "Oh God…"

"What?" Frank asked. "Is it Eddie? Did he…"

"No, she never got to tell him," Jamie replied. "Tom was rushed to the hospital, they think he had a heart attack.I have to go. Can you?" Jamie looked at the kids.

"I had Danny and Erin this age, these two are a piece of cake," Frank laughed. "Go…call if you need anything."

Jamie grabbed his keys and headed off to the hospital to provide any support he could. When would the obstacles end for them? He couldn't think of that now though Eddie needed him, he had to focus on her and only her, just as she had for him. Partners, 50/50, first and foremost.

Jamie ran to Eddie and caught her in his arms, "What happened? Is he okay?"

"I don't know, I was sitting down to tell him and then he had pain in his chest, he was sweating, I think he had a heart attack, they aren't telling me anything…God Jamie…"

Jamie rocked her, she was geared up to do this, to end things to move on and now once again fate had intervened. Jamie brushed his lips across her forehead and snuggled her tight. "It's okay, sit down, I'm going to get you some tea and we'll wait and see. April was fine when I left, my dad is with her and they get along famously."

Eddie sat back and relaxed in the chair, she just could not believe this was happening again. No matter how many times they planned to end the marriage, something stepped in and stopped it cold.

Eddie sipped the tea, eerily quiet. Jamie rubbed her knee and watched the flow of nurses and doctors come and go. It seemed they pulled out all the stops for Tom, of course they would, he was the richest man in the area for sure. Finally, the doctor came out, "Mrs. Manning, you can come see your husband. Dr. Shapiro will be in shortly to speak to you about your husband's condition. You can follow me."

Eddie turned and gently pulled her hand from Jamie's, her fingers lingering on his, she didn't want to let go. The nurse lead Eddie down the hall to the exam room containing Tom. "He's resting now, we're waiting on the blood tests to confirm whether this event was a heart attack or not. Try not to excite him."

Eddie nodded and stepped into the room. Tom was resting his eyes but smiled when she entered, "Hey, how you feeling?"

She sat beside him but did not take his hand in hers. "All this to get out of my coffee in the morning?"

Tom chuckled lightly, "Your coffee is good honey. I don't…I've had a few little twinges like this at work but nothing…it's still feels like someone is crushing my chest."

Eddie sighed, "Well rest your eyes and we'll see what the doctor says, okay?"

Tom nodded, "They think if it was a heart attack it wasn't bad, that rest will fix it. Where's April?"

"April is with Frank Reagan," Eddie replied. "Anita took her to play with Max and she went to see her sister for the day. Jamie will bring her home later but if you need to stay here, they'll keep her for us. She does well with them."

Tom sighed, "Eddie, I think I know what you were going to say to me at breakfast…"

Eddie began to speak, but was interrupted by the cardiologist. "Mr. Manning, Mrs. Manning, I'm Dr. **Shapiro.** We have the results of your blood tests and thankfully this episode was not considered a heart attack. Your enzymes are elevated but not enough to indicate a heart attack, still we want to keep you a day or two, run a few more tests. There's indicators on the EKG and other tests that indicate several factors that indicate damage, but how much and why that's all up in the air at this point."

Jamie thanked the doctor and rested his head, "My father and my grandfather. Guess I didn't get the good genes hmm?"

Eddie sighed, "We don't know anything yet, so let's not…let's just relax and wait and see. I'm going to head to the cafeteria for a few, get myself a tea, do you want juice or anything?"

Tom shook his head, "No, don't be too long, we really do need to talk."

Eddie smiled and headed for the waiting room, she couldn't believe it. She needed Jamie, she needed him badly.

Jamie paced back and forth, if Tom was sick, there was no way Eddie could leave him, not now. To do that would jeopardize April and he'd never ask her to do that. He was sick for her, she had worked hard to get up the nerve, they had waited so long…it was not fair to either of them or their children.

Eddie appeared with tears running down her cheeks, she was strong but could only take so much. She looked at Jamie, "Not a heart attack but they think there is something wrong and I know he's going to hang on me now, it'll be ever harder. I'm not supposed to upset him, what are we going to do…"

Eddie's breaths were coming up and down in heavy gasps. "What are we going to do?"

Jamie pulled her close, "Breathe, take a breath for me. We are a team, we are partners we will make it through this, okay? I promise you."

Jamie had his doubts, this was a hurdle they did not foresee. He had no idea how to soothe her, but he could not pass his own doubts onto her. Not now. "I'll stay here, whenever you can come out, come out. I won't leave you to do this alone."

Eddie nodded and held Jamie tighter, "Let me have the tea, I said I was getting a tea. I'll see you in a little bit when I check up on April."

Jamie nodded and took her lips in a soulful kiss, reminding her that no matter how bleak things looked he was going to hold fast by her side


	106. Chapter 106

Chapter One Hundred Six

The next two days Eddie was at the hospital most of the time. The news was not good for Tom, his heart condition would require surgery, but he had to follow a medication regimen to prepare his body. The doctor explained they wouldn't know the true amount of work to be done or the damage until they got inside, but based on the severe arrhythmias and unstable angina, there was enough.

Jamie was at the hospital as much as possible, but Eddie's ability to see him was limited. Still, his being there helped to keep her pretty calm and focused. When Tom napped on his third and final day in the hospital, Jamie met Eddie for lunch.

They stood in the quiet restaurant and held each other for about ten minutes before they sat down on the same side of the booth and held hands. "I missed you," Eddie sighed nuzzling close to Jamie. "Are you okay? You look a little bit like Rudolph."

"Oh, yeah,' he replied. "I caught a cold, but I'm okay. We have bigger problems than my runny nose. What are the doctors saying in totality?"

Eddie went over the details for Jamie, "In short," she sighed. "He's got a bad heart but how bad we won't know until after we have a surgery date and they do the procedure. I don't know what to do Jamie, I want to break things off and get this finished but on the other hand I have the best cardiologist in the country telling me not to stress Tom out. I don't want to stress Tom even further but with this hanging like it is I'm going to have a heart attack."

Jamie tightened his grip, "Let me try to take the pressure off as much as I can , okay? I'm not going anywhere, you need to do what you need to do and I will be here for you no matter what. Don't worry about me, when he's better, after the surgery and he's mended we can go from there. We have the rest of our lives, I do not want to pressure you at all."

Eddie teared up, the frustration of feeling trapped was too much for her. She felt her shoulders shake and the dam that had been locked in her chest finally broke.

"Oh, Eddie," Jamie sighed as he spoke around his runny nose and scratchy through. "Oh, ssh…" Jamie soothed. "Ssh, honey it's okay. I know it feels horrible inside, I know you're so confused and angry but…"

"I'm scared, what if I can't get out, what if…" Jamie kissed her head. "Stop, you're tired and frustrated, it's okay. We waited this long, we will wait longer. You need to do what you need to do."

Eddie loved Jamie even more in that moment, he was being so kind and understanding. "Now, let's eat. They have tuna melts here that are good and the chicken salad with bacon is off the charts."

Eddie ordered the chicken salad, Jamie the tuna, they would of course share as they did all their other meals at diners just like this on the job or in Montana. In spite of her upset, Eddie cleaned her plate and helped Jamie with his. They took a short walk, holding hand before Eddie headed back to the hospital. Tom was being sent home later that day.

"Get your rest, Jamie," Eddie told him firmly. "I wish I was able to make you soup and…"

"It's a cold, if it got worse I know you'd be there, if Max got more than his runny nose…"

Eddie's face fell, "Max, he's got a runny nose? He must be so fussy…"

"No, Anita has helped a little bit and Dad is helping, he's just stuffy, he's okay other wise," Jamie assured her. "I'll bring him around tomorrow for some cuddles."

That idea warmed Eddie's heart. "Tom naps around two, Antia will run interference so I can spend time with Max. Bring him by the house unless he gets worse, then I'll sneak off."

Jamie kissed Eddie's cheek to say goodbye, not wanting to make her sick, "No, no wait a second here, full on kiss, mister."

Jamie laughed and kissed Eddie long and deep on the lips, "I love you. We will get through it, don't' give up, I'm not."

Eddie felt rejuvenated after a good cry and being held in Jamie's arms. She was worried he didn't' feel well and that Max seemed to be getting sick too, she felt terrible splitting herself like this but Jamie's understanding made it easier on her.

Tom was home in their own house by 6 that night, resting in the recliner. He got his computer out and was focused on the screen. "You are supposed to be resting, Tom, not working," Eddie scolded as she brought April to her father for a story and a kiss.

"I'm not, just for pleasure," Tom replied.

"Dirty pictures?" Eddie countered with a smile, trying to keep things light. His surgery was in 41 days, hopefully in 60, she could have that talk with him. She began to check things off on her mental calendar. One down, fifty-nine to go…"

Tom only got more and more impatient as the next few days passed. It got harder and harder to get out of the house. Once Tom was cleared to travel it got even worse. He wanted to go and check out his building and holdings in Italy and let Eddie know in no uncertain terms he planned to go as a family and even take Anita, his mentor lives in Italy and he was excited for him to meet Eddie and April. Of course, he assumed that she would join them, and they could have time to regroup and relax before his surgery. Try as she might, nothing Eddie said would convince Tom to go on his own or scrap the idea of going all together. He had the house ready to be closed up for a few weeks, he had the jet fueled…Eddie had no choice.

Tom was so excited and woke her very early on that particular Sunday, "We're leaving today, make sure Anita has everything she needs for April and let your job know we'll be gone a few weeks." With Tom's money, Eddie never had to worry if she got in trouble, if she got fired, well…then she got fired.

Eddie sighed and sent a text to Jamie, he was going to flip out when he got this message. "Tom is taking us to Italy. He's had ants in his pants since he got the go ahead from the doctor. I'm so sorry, I don't' want to go but I'm between a rock and hard place. I love you so much and I'll be back as soon as I can."

Jamie's heart broke when he saw that text. It snapped in two and the pain in his chest overwhelmed him. He coughed a few times, the cold making it all seem worse. All he could muster to text was, "I love you too, be safe." What else was there to say?

April was not a good flyer. She didn't like how the air pressure would make her ears popped. Eddie held her on her lap, her stomach flip flopping with butterflies over Jamie's reaction. He and Max weren't feeling well, and now she was being whisked off to meet Tom's mentor. She didn't' see the reason for her to go, but here she was. Eddie finally got April to settle down, she shut her eyes to dream, thinking of her Jamie.

"Kid, you sound horrible," Danny told Jamie at dinner that night. "You should call Eddie to come over and rub some menthol on your chest."

"Eddie's going to Italy with Tom, don't know when she's going to be coming back," Jamie griped. "Every single time we are close to telling him the truth something happens. This is doomed, we are never going to be together, this heart thing with Tom has her all wound up now. She's got marital obligations."

"She's got more than that," Danny sighed. "I'm sorry, Kid. You just stick with it, okay. You two love each other and trust me, love is something worth waiting for. Tom will settle down, Eddie can leave after his surgery and things will be okay. Now, give me my godson, and you go get some rest."

Jamie smiled, he did feel terrible and he missed Eddie. When he got to the bedroom he text Eddie, 'Let me know you are safe. I love you."

Jamie dozed off holding his phone in his hand, finally it went and chirped. "Our plane landed, I'm so sorry Jamie. Hug my little Max, you are in my heart."

Tom saw Eddie focused on her phone and not the beautiful Italian night. "Everything okay?" Eddie tucked the phone in her purse. "Fine, just checking. It's all okay. April, look baby…" Eddie tried hard to get into the idea of being in Italy. The trip would be harder if she didn't. Tom took the baby and held Eddie's hand. They looked like the perfect family stepping off the plane. "Did you bring dresses for evening?" he asked.

"Tom, I packed a bag in ten minutes, no I didn't."

"Tomorrow, Anita will keep the baby and we'll go shopping You'll need the right clothes to meet Maurice."

"Your Italian architecture mentor is named Maurice?" Eddie asked with a hint of a smile.

"Yes, he's born in France, educated in England, married an American and lives here on the Riviera," Tom explained. "He lived in Japan for a time too. He's a very interesting man."

They got into the waiting limo and headed for their elaborate hotel near the beach and the shops. It was dark, but in the morning, Tom knew that Eddie would enjoy the view from their penthouse suite.

Eddie laid the baby down on the bed and looked around the huge suite. Rooms like this didn't impress her anymore, she didn't want to be here, she was beyond this point. Tom helped Eddie put the baby to bed then snuggled up to her in their big bed. Eddie sighed, "I'm so tired, Tom…and it's not good for your heart. Let's be careful okay?"

Tom sighed, she was still hung up on Jamie, and if he wasn't smart the entire trip she'd be texting and calling him. When Eddie fell asleep, he went online and removed the international calling plan for her extension. Her attention would be his…

"Jamie," Frank poked his head into the bathroom. "Are you okay? You were up half the night."

"I'm good, just can't shake this cough," Jamie replied. "Are you sure it's okay for you to keep Max tonight. I promised to put in an appearance at a dinner, a friend of Renzulli and I don't want to let him down."

"If you are sick, he'll understand," Frank replied. "But yes, I'll keep Max for you tonight, the two of us will introduce him to shrimp and corn chowder from the corner diner. Take care of you though, please."

Jamie promised and got in the shower hoping the hot water would ease his aching muscles and help him breathe a little better. He felt terrible, but fathers and police officers did not take the day off.

The tour was slow and Jamie was able to focus on his new rookie and his attention to detail and observation. Jamie was glad of this, it let his body rest and his brain do all the work. That was sometimes how he liked it.

At the reception, Jamie knew some of the legal professionals as well as the cops. He was happy to see a few familiar faces to make small talk, thought the coughing increased as the night went on. "Jamie, you shouldn't be here, you should go home" He lifted his head at the familiar voice. "Dana? Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, how's Eddie? I didn't see her here," Dana asked. "You sound terrible."

"Got a cold," Jamie replied. "Eddie's in Italy with her husband, he had a heart attack and needs some kind of surgery so that divorce was put off again."

"She'll divorce him, Jamie," Dana replied. 'A woman knows when another woman is in love."

Jamie smiled, 'Well…" He began to cough again and wheeze badly, not much air going in or out.

"Jamie, you need to see a doctor," Dana encouraged. "Like now, there is an urgent care down the street, I'll take you and we'll come back. No one has to know if you don't' want to admit you are sick."

"I know I'm sick, but don't need a doctor…" Jamie wheezed but his chest hurt, it ached badly.

"I know," Dana sighed. "But let's see one anyway, old times sake."

Jamie felt badly enough he didn't argue, he nodded and let Dana lead him out of the party without anyone the wiser.

"There we go, Max,' Frank smiled at his grandson as he laid him in his crib. "You are almost two years old, did you know that? You're such a big boy."

"Big…" Max echoed. "Mommom?"

"Momma is busy today, you'll see her soon. Daddy will be home soon," Frank told the boy. "Take your bear and lie down buddy."

Max was a good sleeper, he cuddled up to the bear and soon was sound asleep. When the phone rang, Frank dove for it so it didn't wake the baby. "Hello."

"Mr. Reagan, this is Jamie's friend, Dana…I'm sorry but I took him to urgent care for his cough and they are sending us to the hospital. He's really sick, they think it's pneumonia."


	107. Chapter 107

Chapter One Hundred Seven

Frank's heart sank, he knew it, he just knew it. "I'll be right there, which hospital is it?"

He got the logistics from Dana then packed up Max and headed out to the hospital. Max was sound asleep when they got there, Danny was coming to pick up his little godson shortly. "How is he?" Frank asked.

"He's got a high fever," Dana replied. "His lungs are full of fluid, they are draining one of them now and he's going to ICU. It's a strong bacterial pneumonia…" Dana smiled at the baby. "I called Eddie, but it said the call can't be completed as dialed, the person is unavailable."

"I'll handle that, it might be a problem with the international service, but thank you, Eddie does need to know. Would you mind holding Max until Danny comes? I want to see my son."

Max was dead asleep, so the transfer was easy, the little boy didn't even stir when Danny put him back in his car seat to drive him back home. Dana settled to wait for news on her friend, while across the pond Eddie was getting her first glimpse of the gorgeous Italian countryside.

"It is beautiful," she admitted to Tom. "Those homes on the water must be so expensive."

"They are in the tens of millions of dollars but we," Tom slid his arm around her. "Have an appointment to look at them after we buy you a dress. I thought it would be a nice vacation home, the beaches are lovely. April can run and play…"

"Tom, that is so much!" Eddie's heart beat faster, how was she going to handle this.

The dress shopping was easy, Eddie found two gowns and had them shipped back to the hotel. Eddie sent a few texts to Jamie when she could, but she kept getting the undelivered message. She would try to email him form the hotel.

The first villa was 26 million dollars and just too much dramatic architecture for Eddie. The second one, Tom said was too far from the beach. The third one, belonged to an older couple that were seated on the balcony outside while their house was being shown, being too old to go out consistently for real estate appointments. Eddie looked at them, they were speaking Italian, she had no idea what they were saying, but she saw Jamie in the husband's eyes when he looked at his wife. There was a love there that was so deep and tender, and his wife mirrored the look. Her stomach lurched, she wanted Jamie to be by her side. She could not handle this much longer, but she didn't want Tom to be alone or hurt either. There was only one solution, she had to speak to Sue and fix that relationship, then she could move on and be happy with Jamie.

Tom looked at the couple as well, he didn't look at Eddie like that, she didn't love him like that either. He didn't' know how long he had left on earth, this heart thing could be nothing or it could be something major, he didn't know. Still, he was committed to Eddie, though he had been before and had things with Sue. He missed her, she had betrayed their silent agreement, and that hurt him, but was holding onto the hurt worth it? When they got back, he'd speak to her about fixing things…maybe.

Frank watched Jamie struggle to breath. He was on oxygen and in and out of coherent consciousness. He called out for Eddie repeatedly; Frank and Danny tried to reach her to no avail. Frank held Jamie's hand, bathed his forehead with cold clothes, and tended him as best he could. Little Max still had the sniffles and he was crying for his Daddy, it was tough on Danny and Linda to help with him, he was so upset.

Frank prayed for Jamie, he held his hand, and finally Jamie's eyes opened. His breath was catching and hitching, it was so difficult for him to get adequate air even on the oxygen. Jamie knew he was very sick, he had to think on this a little bit, if things didn't work themselves out, his father had to know what he wanted for his son.

"It's going to be okay, Jamie,' Frank soothed. "take a little water." Frank held Jamie's head as he sipped, then held his hands. "What is it? Do you need something for pain?"

"No," Jamie wheezed. "No, listen to me…Max…if something happens…My Max, he's so sensitive and he needs…" Jamie heaved to get air. "He needs Eddie to be there if I'm not. Please make that happened, make sure she's his legal mother."

"Jamie, you are going to be fine and take care of Max on your own," Frank assured.

"Please, Dad…" Jamie begged. "Please promise."

Frank nodded, "I promise, Max will have his Mommom…I promise don't you worry." He stroked Jamie's feverish brow.

"And Eddie…she knows how much…but tell her again that I…"

Frank nodded again, "I'll make sure she knows you love her with all your heart, but you'll tell her when she gets here. We're calling her in Italy…she'll be here soon."

Jamie smiled softly, "Tell her I will always be with her, watching over her. My soul will always be close to hers, make sure she knows that I'll never be far away." Jamie closed his eyes then, he loved Eddie so and he needed her here, she'd make this pain stop…this…stop…something…

Frank almost knocked over his chair to get help as Jamie began to seize before his eyes. He had seen so many seizures in his career, but it had never happened to his children. "Help, doctor, we need help!"

The medical team rushed the room, and Frank grabbed the phone. He had to get Eddie back to New York, but once again the calls were rejected. Frank had a feeling he knew what was happening and he knew a way around it.

While Frank worked diligently to contact Eddie, she was trying to contact Sue. Her phone was not working, "Anita, is your cell phone working or is it the area?" she asked.

Anita checked her connection and nodded, "It's working fine, Mrs. Eddie. I just spoke to my sister, roaming charges but still."

"Mine isn't working and I have to get a few calls out to the states, can I borrow yours, I'll pay the fees," Eddie begged.

"Mrs. Eddie, what are you going to do? You know Mr. Tom wants you to stay here…"

"I' know, but he's not happy and neither am I…life is too short, Anita," Eddie told her. "Life is too short."

Before Eddie could make the calls, there was a knock on the door. Anita went to answer it; the bell boy had a note for Eddie. Eddie tipped the young man and read the hand-written message, "It's from Jamie's father…"

Eddie read the note with her heart in her mouth, "Jamie's gravely ill, he's in the hospital and he's asking for me. I have to…" Eddie took a breath, first she had to get a hold of Sue.

Dana stepped in to help with Jamie's care. Frank and Danny couldn't sit at his side 24/7 and Erin and Linda were busy with Max. When Jamie was awake, her refused to eat. He was getting weaker by the day. It took two days for Frank to finally get through to the American embassy, a colleague there agreed to take a message to Eddie.

"it's okay, Jamie, Eddie's coming, your Dad is not going to stop until she is here," Dana soothed. She wanted Jamie to have some comfort, he was in a lot of pain and feeling very sick. She couldn't let that go without some gently words.

Jamie smiled sometimes when he heard Dana's voice, it was soothing and gentle, but it was not his Eddie. Had she forgotten her promises to him? Did she fall in love in Italy? The thought crushed his soul.

Sue's phone rang three times before she picked it up. Eddie held her breath while she waited then finally she heard Sue's voice. "Sue, this is Eddie Manning, how are you?"

They made a few minutes of pointless small talk then, "Sue, listen. I purchased a plane ticket for you and sent a car. The plane leaves in forty-five minutes but you can probably make it this time of day. Tom's sick, it's his heart and life are just too short. I think it's time you and Tom talked things out and fixed the problems you had."

Sue was speechless for a few minutes, "I better go pack. Does he know…"

"No, he doesn't know," Eddie replied. "I'll meet you in the lobby of the hotel, a limo driver will pick you up and bring you to us. I will see you in about six hours, okay?"

Sue hung up to pack and get her things ready. Eddie sat back on the couch and dialed Frank. She didn't want to know how sick Jamie was, but she had to know at the same time.

"He's bad, Eddie," Frank sighed. "He's had two seizures now and he's barely awake. How soon can you try to get here?"

"I should be there by tomorrow," Eddie replied. "Sue is on her way here and that should divert Tom's attention away from me long enough for me to tell him I have to go back. I'm so sorry that this took so long, he must have done something to my phone."

"Don't worry about it," Frank sighed. "I know you wouldn't ignore calls about Jamie. Just get here as quickly and safely as you can. I'll take care of him for you until then."

When the call ended Eddie turned to Anita, she was frightened, angry, and frustrated. She couldn't hold the tears at bay.

Eddie paced and wrang her hands as she waited for Sue to arrive. The faster Sue got there, the sooner she could get to Jamie and help him get well. Finally, Sue arrived, a little worse for wear, but she was the best sight Eddie had ever seen.

"Sue, I'm so glad you are here!" Eddie smiled and shook her hand. "I'm sure Tom will be glad too. I know he missed you."

"I wish I knew he was sick before flying here, but thank you for including me, for letting me in on this."

Sue headed upstairs while Eddie went to call Frank and check in on Jamie.


	108. Chapter 108

Chapter One Hundred Eight

"Sue is here, I'm just waiting a few minutes to tell Tom, I'm leaving. The jet is fueled up and I'm packed so…in a few hours I'll be home. How's Maxy handling this?"

"He's having a hard time and he's not feeling so hot either, so Erin and Linda have their hands full with him. I'm sure he'll be happy to see his Mommom, he called for you a few times," Frank replied.

Eddie sighed, "Tom should be texting me any minute now and then I'll be on my way. If not, I'll be on my way anyway. Tell him I'm coming, tell him I love him."

"You tell him," Frank replied and held the phone to Jamie's ear for Eddie to speak to him. She was shaken when she got off the phone

"Jamie will be fine, Mrs. Eddie. He's so strong and a very young man."

"I know but Frank sounded so concerned, he was worried and that's not like him to get so panicked," Eddie sighed. "I'm worried about him being worried"

Anita patted Eddie's hand and bounced April on her knee. Upstairs, Tom was surprised to see Sue, but happy as well. They held one another for a long time, "I miss you so much," she sighed. "Oh, I missed you. I heard about your heart and I thought I could help with the project here."

Tom nodded, "How did you know I needed your help, more than anything, I need you. I was hideous to you, I was so wrong to act that way."

The couple hugged and kissed a few more minutes, Tom text Eddie, "Sue is here and I'm getting her a room in the hotel, so she can assist me." When the text came in, Eddie smiled.

Eddie left April with Anita and went upstairs to see Tom. "The baby, Anita, and I are leaving immediately for the states," Eddie told Tom. "Sue will be here to help you, Jamie is extremely ill, and I need to go back to the states and help with him and Max. I'll see you when you get back and conclude your business. I know Sue will take diligent care of you."

Tom was relieved, he could reunite with Sue and not worry about dodging Eddie. He had to do something about this but would wait until after his surgery to make any firm decisions. He needed Eddie, he needed her youth and vigor. Their arrangement worked.

"You know anything they need…" Tom began.

"Max needs me, he's very scared and crying a lot. He needs to play with April and have security so I'm going to do that for him, I'm so glad you understand," Eddie replied. "I'll send the jet back for you when you need it."

Eddie kissed Tom's cheek, then turned and pulled the already packed bags from the closet. She left the hotel to fly home to her Jamie without a second look.

Dana took her turn with Jamie. He hadn't opened his eyes now in nearly 14 hours. She heard a bit of what he told Frank, and she saw what a sensitive little boy Max was when Danny brought him to the hospital to give Linda a break. The little guy had cried and whimpered calling out for Mommom and Daddy…it broke her heart to hear that. Jamie was still gasping for each breath. She changed the cloth on his head and sighed, she knew Eddie was on her way, but would that be fast enough.

Dana was not one to pray, but she found herself doing that while she was sitting there. She hated to see Jamie suffering so much.

Frank returned with a cup of orange juice for Dana and coffee for himself. "Eddie is on her way, I appreciate you helping us out and being here with him while she's out of town. It's the strangest thing, how their relationship works…"

Dana smiled, "They love each other, I could see it just radiate off of them when I saw them together. I'll be so happy when she gets here, he'll know, and he'll do better then, won't you Jamie." Jamie slept on.

The flight from Italy to New York was 8 hours, it felt like 8 years. April cried almost half the flight, the other half Eddie spent pacing back and forth, her heart pounding. She didn't know what she was going to find when she got to the hospital, all she knew was she had to find Jamie alive, she could deal with anything but that.

Eddie sent Anita home with April, the next day she would find a hotel and have her stay near the hospital with April. If Frank agreed, she would have Max with Anita at the hotel, so she had access to both of her children. She took a cab to the hospital, almost running inside.

"I'm Eddie Janko Manning, I'm here for Jamie Reagan," she told the admitting nurse.

"ICU, second floor," she was told and directed upstairs. Eddie took off running there only to find it guarded.

"I'm here for Jamie Reagan, Commissioner Reagan called me to come," Eddie told them. "I need to see him, please."

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," the nurse replied. "His visitors are restricted to family only and the young lady that the commissioner personally admitted. She brought him in."

"I'm family," Eddie insisted. "I'm his…"

"Fiancée," Dana told the nurse. "She's his fiancée and she needs to be in the room with him now. She is family, the commissioner has been waiting for her to arrive." Dana reached out for Eddie's arm. "Come on, he's in ICU four."

Eddie didn't even register Dana, she followed the person that was going to get her closer to her Jamie.

Eddie's knees almost went out from under her when she saw her Jamie, pale as the sheets he lay upon, except for the flush in his feverish cheeks. She took a deep breath and went to touch his hand. He felt cold if that was possible with a fever of over 103.

"Jamie, I'm here, lamb chop," Eddie whispered. "I'm here now, I'm home and I'm going to be right here until you wake up. Can you hear me, my love?" Eddie knew she couldn't do this anymore, she couldn't be separated from him for that long. He needed her, she needed him, they were a team and it was time to be one all the way.

Jamie was too far off to be reached just yet. Eddie watched his chest heaving up and down as he gasped for air. "I know you are in pain, I know you are very scared but it's all right. I'm here…" Fighting back tears, Eddie sat on the bed and laid her head on Jamie's chest, not even acknowledging Dana was in the room. She should have been here for him, it should have been her that brought him here…if she had been here, though, she knew this wouldn't have happened, she'd have taken care of him and not let it get this far.

Dana wiped a tear, "He called for you, he loves you so much and I'm glad you got back so quickly."

Eddie looked up, "Thank you so much for taking care of him for me and getting me in. He can't help himself, he gets in his own way sometimes."

Dana nodded, "I'll let you two be alone. Let me know if you need me and how he's doing. My number is on the table there."

Eddie nodded, "Thanks, I'll take it from here and keep you posted."

Dana left for home, no doubt Jamie was in good hands. Eddie took over the fever baths, holding Jamie's hand in her own. "Tomorrow I'll get our Max and I'll take care of him too. I know he's having a hard time. Don't you worry, Jamie. I am keeping my promises to you. I am going to be your wife and Max's mother, so you do your sleeping and your healing, I am not going to leave you again."

Somewhere in the distance, Jamie heard Eddie's words. He wanted to come back, he fought with all his might to get out of the fog and reach out to Eddie, to feel her and connect to her…he dug deep and pushed on.

"Mommom!" Max reached out for Eddie the moment Danny brought him in.

"So glad you are here, Eddie," Danny smiled. 'You're what he needs to get through this. He's getting weaker and weaker by the day."

"I know, but I'm going to do all I can for him. He opened his eyes and I got some water in him, but he was so out of it he had no idea…"

"He knows," Danny assured her. "In his heart, he knows."

Eddie cuddled Max to her chest, "You want to go see Daddy? Let's go see Daddy, we'll read him stories."

"Can I have him a few minutes?" Danny asked. "He needs a diaper, he messed in the car."

Eddie nodded, "Let's get you changed okay honey. Then we'll see Daddy…"

Danny stood by Jamie's bedside, "Heck of a way to get her to come home. We are all here, Jamie. I miss my brother, I need you to wake up, okay. We need you to get better…Max is doing so well now, he went right to Eddie and held onto her so tight. I love you little brother," Danny whispered

Danny left Eddie and Jamie alone again except for Max. Eddie held the little boy and let him cuddle to her and snuggle with her. "I love you so much," Eddie sighed. "Let's sing a song for Daddy, okay. Let's sing him "This Old Man. Ready?"

Max clapped his hands, "This old man, he played one…" They sang the whole song in their best voices, Max didn't miss a note.


	109. Chapter 109

Chapter One Hundred Nine

The baby fell asleep snuggled on Eddie's lap, she shifted herself so she could hold Jamie's hand and snuggle Max. "I should have been here with both of you, but I let Tom guilt me into it. No matter what happens with Tom and his surgery, I'm going to split my time between here and Manhasset. I'm going to get an apartment in the city and be close to you and Max until the divorce. I can go see April, and Anita can bring her to me at the apartment. I can't live like this anymore and you can't either. "I'll never forgive myself if you don't pull through this. You have to pull through this Jamie. You have to…"

Jamie hated the sound of distress in her voice, he wanted so badly to comfort her and pull her close. With all his strength, he focused and moved his hand gripping Eddie's in his own.

"Jamie," Eddie moved closer to the bed, careful not to jostle Max. "Jamie, I'm here. I'm right here, sweetheart…" His hand moved again but his eyes did not flutter. Still, it was a start.

Two days later, Eddie held Max on her lap while he picked on his fruit and grain snack cup. "Mommom eat…." He held a piece of fruit out for Eddie.

Eddie took a bite and kissed Max's head. "Maxy, after you eat you're going to play with April and Ms. Anita at the slides okay? Mommom is going to take care of Daddy."

"Side?"; Max asked and made a motion to mimick a slide.

"Yes, the slide with Ms. Anita!" Eddie made it sound like the best thing ever. Max clapped his hands, he liked to play, that was fun.

Eddie got him cleaned up and walked him out holding his hand. "Here you go to Ms. Anita. Try to put him on the toilet in about an hour, he just ate, okay? But if he gets upset, let it go, he's a little young."

"Okay, let's go baby…" Anita smiled. "Hold my hand, let's go play with April!"

Anita led Max away, he went nicely with her. Eddie returned to Jamie, "Max is going to play. Do you remember?" she asked sitting next to Jamie and taking his hand. "When we were on patrol and I went down the twisty slide and right into the at huge mud puddle before scratch out. I had mud all over my bottom and you kept laughing and laughing at me. Those were good times, and we'll have those again Jamie, we'll make so many memories together, you and me, Max and April, a good solid family. We'll do just great, the four of us. Right?"

Eddie didn't expect and answer so her eyes shot wide open when she got one, "Right…" Jamie wheezed and smiled at her through the oxygen mask. "You look so pretty…." To him, Eddie was a glowing angel of mercy.

Eddie couldn't' hide the tears, she didn't want to. She held Jamie's hand right against her heart, "Jamie? How do you feel? Let me get a doctor for you…" Eddie moved to get up and buzz the nurse but Jamie's eyes held her like a pin to a butterfly. "Don't go…don't' leave me…not yet."

"I'm not, honey," Eddie soothed, kissing Jamie's forehead firmly. "I promise you I'm not."

Over the next few days Jamie got stronger and stronger he and Eddie would sit on his bed together and eat their meals. She helped him walk small distances at first, in the hallway leaning on her for strength. He needed his oxygen less and less and the coughing seemed to subside along with the pain in his chest. His Eddie was with him and that truly was the best medicine.

"You need to go a bit easier next time," Eddie advised as she rubbed Jamie's back. He was coughing after pushing to do a third lap around the floor.

"I want to get out of here and I can't…" He gagged. "Until I'm better and stronger."

"You won't get better or stronger pushing to hard," Eddie sighed. "Here, sip this…Is your father still planning to come later?"

"Yeah, after dinner," Jamie replied. "Just help me back into bed, I need a few minutes…"

Eddie smiled softly, she knew he did. She eased Jamie against the covers and hooked him back to the nasal oxygen so he could rest a bit. Eddie kicked off her tennis shoes and laid down next to Jamie rubbing his chest gently.

Jamie napped a while, Eddie by his side. Frank arrived just after the dinner hour to find his son still sound asleep, the dinner waiting to be eaten. "Don't worry, I'm going to make sure he eats something better than that stuff as soon as he wakes up"

Frank smiled down at his son as he slept, "He loves you so much. While he was first sick, and felt like he might not pull out, he told me to tell you that he loved you so much, that he would always be watching over you and be there for you as he could. But I think what got me most, what showed me most how deeply his love goes, is that he wanted me to be sure you got custody of Max. His precious Max."

Eddie took a breath, she had buried the fear of Jamie dying to take care of him, but it was so real…he was at death's door and she believed only the power of love drew him back.

Eddie felt the lump in her throat, she took a couple of breaths but they ended on sobs. "Eddie, I'm sorry…" Frank began as Jamie stirred and found Eddie in tears.

"What's happening?" Jamie asked. "Eddie, are you all right?"

Jamie gathered Eddie in his arms and rocked her back and forth gently. "Sssh, it's all right. It's all right. Everything is all right?" Jamie looked at Frank for answers.

"I'm sorry, Jamie, I didn't mean to upset her," Frank sighed. "I just thought she should know what you had said about Max and your feelings for her incase, I thought Eddie would want to here and…"

Jamie smiled and nodded, "It's okay, it's all the emotion just coming up. It's okay. It's okay…" Jamie kissed Eddie' head as he rocked.

"I'm sorry," Eddie sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry I just…I just realized what I could have lost while I was off in Italy, Jamie you were so sick, you and Max needed me and I was…"

"Doing what you had to do. We have to be careful about April, she is your baby girl, and we have to be careful," Jamie sighed. "I'm not upset with you, okay. I'm not."

Frank blushed, "Jamie, do you feel up to Salducci's? I can get you Minestrone or Pasta Fagioli…"

"Oh, they have good gnocchi, can you get gnocci and sauce?" Jamie asked.

"Sure, I'll be right back with that dinner. I'm glad your appetite is coming back some," Frank gave a smile and headed out.

Jamie wiped Eddie's tears off her cheeks, and snuggled her tight. "I'm better, I'm getting better and soon we'll be together."

Eddie sighed, "I know I just…it all hit me at once. I am tired and I'm hungry…"

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair, "That's more like it honey."

Eddie laughed and kissed Jamie's lips deeply, "I love you so much. So much…"

They slowly kissed and cuddled until Frank appeared with dinner. The next day was Sunday and the entire family planned to come and see Jamie. The doctor said Jamie was safe to be around more people so dinner would be held at the hospital. That would be one crazy ride!

The family began to filter in around two that day, Nikki was spending the day with her father, but Erin was there. Anita was going to bring the children over to eat dinner. Turkey sandwiches, Russian dressing, salads and brownies for dessert. Jamie smiled, he was glad to have all of his famly near.

He could see Erin was merely tolerating Eddie, but that was okay, as long as she was polite, he did not want to ruin this day for anyone. If she stepped out of line, he'd boot her, but if not, he wantd to enjoy the time with Eddie and the family.

"Daddy!" Max squealed and ran to Jamie full speed. "Love you, Daddy."

Jamie caught his little boy and held him tight, "Oh, I love you too Max. April…hey, pretty baby."

"Dada!" April exclaimed and reached out to Jamie.

"Dada?" Erin asked.

"She just started to do that last year and no matter what I do I can't seem to convince her not to say that," eddie laughed. "She says it to Tom too, I think maybe she hears Max call Jamie that when they play together." It was a good enough explanation for now.

"She's such a pretty girl," Erin smiled. "Come see me?"

April, always a happy girl, went to Erin and smiled. The family began to eat and laugh together, all enjoying the fact Jamie was well again. "We thought you were a goner there Kid, glad Dad got word to Eddie. That was something, Tom shutting off your phone service like that." Danny snapped a pickle.

"Tom got a little possessive, I think the best was how Dana got me in here…" Eddie recalled the story as the nurse overlooked the crowd and changed Jamie's IV. All she heard was the word fiancée.

When she got back to the nurse's station she smiled, "That adorable couple in room 408, they are engaged, Mary Ellen, you owe me fifty bucks."

The nurse did not know her words had been over heard by their newest private security guard, "Is that couple, the woman, she's got a man's name? Eddie isn't it?"

"Yes, she told me it's a nickname, but I forgot what it stood for," she replied and went back to work. She had no idea what she had sent in motion.

Eddie sat on the bed beside Jamie, stroking his hair softly and gently. He was getting tired, but he ws happy to be with her and at the center of the family. Max and April both played on the bed, one could cut a small frame around the pair.

Dana knocked, "Hey, room for anymore?" she asked with a smile.

'Of course," Eddie smiled, she was clearly controlling the flow of the room, as she should.

Dana gave Jamie a quick kiss and hug, "You look so much better…is this your baby girl, Eddie?"

The group made small talk before Dana smiled, "I need to say goodbye, I'm heading back to California and wanted to check up on you. I'll be in town again in a few months, we need to meet up then, three of us."

Eddie and Jamie quickly agreed and each hugged Dana one more time. "Thank you so much for your help, again,' Eddie told her. "I don't know what I would have done to that nurse if you hadnt' been here."

Dana laughed, 'You love him, you'd have found a way."

Dana slowly stepped away, glad to see her friend so happy again. The entire family was surrounding him and his love and children, it made a pretty picture. Dana snapped two candid shots, then, "Smile everyone…" Perfect.

She shot a text to Eddie and Jamie with the photo, their family was indeed picture perfect.


	110. Chapter 110

Chapter One Hundred Ten

Jamie's recovery was slow but steady. He was discharged from the hospital a few days later. Anita kept the kids at the hotel before Jamie was brought home. "Let me help you," Eddie kept saying to Jamie as he got himself dressed. He was a little winded from putting two new holes in his belt. "I can't believe I lost this much weight. It's ridiculous, with you feeding me I would think I'd have gained weight."

"We'll get it back on you, I'm just glad you are well again," eddie held Jamie's waist and kissed his head gently. "I love you so much, you know that."

He nodded and sat down to put on his shoes. "Let me help you with that," Eddie offered as Jamie's doctor came into the room. He was a tall and handsome looking younger man that fixed his eyes on Eddie almost instantly. Eddie looked up at him and offered a smile as Jamie worked on the shoe typing. Eddie held back, she didn't want to step on Jamie's toes or make him feel upset with himself, so she held back.

While Eddie watched Jamie, the doctor was watching her. This woman was beautiful. He smiled his best George Clooney like smile.

Jamie could feel the change in the air, he looked up like "Diddle Diddle Dumpling" one shoe off and one shoe on. Eddie had turned to meet the doctor's gaze. "Really," Jamie broke into the silent conversation. "I'm sitting right here, and you're looking my fiancée up and down!"

"Please forgive me," the doctor replied. 'She is a very attractive woman, ma'am. Now Jamie, let's get you checked out and home to your family."

Jamie did his deep breathing and coughing for the doctor, then asked one very important question, "Am I cleared medically to be intimate with my fiancée. It's been a little while."

Eddie turned bright red, she couldn't believe Jamie asked that point blank, especially right in front of her. The doctor nodded, 'If you feel that you can, then yes, that is the same as any other vigorous physical activity, you have to listen to your body."

Jamie nodded, "Okay, can you please excuse us then?" Jamie moved to grab Eddie with laughter in his eyes.

"I'm so glad you are feeling so frisky," Eddie told Jamie as she walked beside him while the nurse pushed him to Eddie's waiting car.

"Pull over," Jamie told her as they rode through the streets to the family home.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked. "Do we need to go back to the hospital?"

"No…" Jamie whispered. "That's the last place I need to go. Come here."

Jamie pulled Eddie in tight, his lips crashing down on hers. His tongue slid into Eddie's mouth, tasting her, feeling her, "God I missed you, I missed you so…"

Eddie's hands were mixed in Jamie's hair, she held his head in place, so their lips didn't' part for minutes. "I miss you too," she admitted when they broke apart. "And I meant it, I'm staying until you are totally well and then I'm splitting my time at the most between Manhasset and here. I can't be that far away from you. I need to be with you and Max, we need to keep the family together as best we can until I file for divorce. Tom's surgery is only six weeks now and if things go the way I hope…."

Jamie kissed Eddie again, "It will work, you don't need to get an apartment, you can stay with me…"

"We have to be careful of Tom's feelings, you said it…I'd love to live with you, I really would, but…"

"I know, I know, you're right, we can't risk April, then we don't have the family," Jamie replied. "I'm here for you no matter what…always."

"Always always," Eddie whispered as Jamie started to cough.

"Okay, Mister, let's get you home and rested," Eddie said starting up the car again and heading for home.

Eddie sent Jamie up to bed for a rest, then went to the kitchen to pull out a few items for dinner. She wanted to get some of the weight back on Jamie, nothing would do that like a traditional Serbian meal.

Eddie started the chicken, then headed upstairs to the bedroom to check on Jamie. She laid down next to him and watched his chest rise up and down. It was quiet now, when she first got to the hospital, the rattling had scared her. She was thankful for the silence.

Jamie smiled at Eddie when he woke up, he dropped a kiss on her head, "Hey, pretty girl. What's going on? You okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I was just thinking about when I first got to the hospital. Your chest was rattling, I heard that rattle before…with my mother. It scared the life out of me…turned my blood cold and I didn't know what to do for you."

Tears began to fall from Eddie's eyes at the memory of the loss of her mother and the fear for Jamie.

"You did the best you could for me," Jamie replied. "You held my hand, you loved me and that's all I will ever ask of you. I felt you there, I felt you and I tried to get to you so badly."

"I felt you too," Eddie whispered. "I knew how much you hurt and I wanted to fix it. I want to fix it all and erase Italy and all the mistakes we made."

Jamie sighed. "If we didn't make the mistakes we made there wouldn't be such a rich relationship now, there would be no Max or April, we'd miss so much of what we love."

Eddie nodded, "Do not ever get sick again, you hear? I have to go first, I can't watch you be sick. Promise me I can die first…"

Jamie nuzzled her hair, "Let's die together…"

Eddie placed her forehead to Jamie's. "Not for 100 years."

"I'm a little sticky…I need to shower but I'm still shaky," Jamie worried.

"I'll help you," Eddie replied. 'Let me get the water just right then you can go in and I'll be right there."

Jamie probably could have showered himself, but he wanted to have a chance to get up close and personal with Eddie. Still, as she helped him undress and step under the spray, it was clear all Eddie intended to do was help him shower.

"Join me," Jamie encouraged.

"You need to be a bit stronger, you do still get very tired and I want that night, that reunion to be something…" Eddie sighed. "Please, let's go slow, we have forever."

Eddie gave Jamie a kiss filled with promise of things to come, Jamie's lip jutted out with defeat, Eddie had to laugh, "Oh Jamie, sometimes you are worse than Maxy…let's get you dried off, I'm fixing a special dinner for you."

"You saving yourself for the handsome doctor?" Jamie teased as Eddie finished toweling him off.

"As if!" Eddie laughed then jumped up and down. "Just for that, you need to watch clueless with me."

Jamie laughed, hoping Eddie didn't' see him roll his eyes.

Eddie made sure Jamie ate two helpings of her chicken in cream before sending him up to bed for a rest. "The kids will be here tomorrow," Jamie whined. "Please…"

"When you are a little better, you're exhausted," eddie whispered and snuggled up to Jamie. "The more you rest the sooner you'll be better. Stretch out now, shut your eyes…" Eddie began to hum gently, like she had in the hospital. Jamie was asleep in under a minute.

It seemed Eddie was the one that was truly exhausted, she slept way past eight the next morning. Jamie got up feeling refreshed and met his father in the kitchen for coffee. "So, tomorrow night you and Anita are taking the kids out on me, right?" Jamie raised one eyebrow.

"Oh, I see…Eddie's one of those?" Frank laughed. "Can't with the kids in the house."

"Not really that, she's being a little resistant cause I was sick, and she got a little shaken up, I want to make a nice little dinner, a little dancing…just see where it goes, and I'd appreciate your help on that one," Jamie told his father. "Was Mom like that?"

Frank nodded, "Not with Danny, he was so hyper when he finally fell asleep he was dead to the world, but Erin…she could hear a flea belch a mile away so when we wanted to try for Joe and you, Danny and Erin had to be shipped to Pop's house. And now I'm Pop so…I'd be glad to help you out Jamie. Are the little ones coming home today?"

"They'll be here by noon and Eddie and I are making a little picnic for them and a movie to reconnect as a family before Tom get back from Italy…he's back in five days and then it's count down to his surgery." Jamie sipped his coffee and smiled. "Then we can finally marry and make this all legal. I need it, Dad, but she needs it more. She really does need it more."

Frank knew that well after the hospital, Eddie had slept in the chair the entire time Jamie was sick, she was truly devoted to him, it warmed Frank's heart.

The kids arrived just before lunch time, they both toddled to their parents for hugs and kisses. "Oh, I missed my babies!" Eddie cooed giving them both a hug. "Did they eat yet Anita?"

"Yes, they did eat their lunch and they are about ready for their afternoon naps. April was dozing in the car. Ms. Eddie, if it is okay, for tonight, I'd like to go back to the main house and make sure it's clean and orderly for our return."

Eddie hadn't told Anita she didn't intend to go home to stay, she would speak to her about it when things were more settled. "I won't be going until Jamie is much stronger, but absolutely, go ahead and straighten up, take some down time, have a good night off tonight," Eddie replied. "Come on little ones, we have a fun night planned but you need to get your naps now. Come on." Eddie took both kids to Max's room and put them down. As she watched the babies curl together she smiled down that them, Jamie came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "What are you thinking about?"

"Our family, look how he holds her hand and she nuzzles up to him," Eddie pointed out. "They love each other, Jamie. Our children love each other, and they trust each other like siblings should do. They'll be close, even though they don't share blood or DNA, they'll be close because they share the same heart."

Jamie kissed the side of Eddie's neck, "Yes they will. Max and April have a very special closeness, they are friends and that's special at their age. Let's let them sleep, we need to set up the picnic."


	111. Chapter 111

Chapter One Hundred Eleven

The weather was nice enough that the kids could go out and play after their naps. Eddie supervised them using Max's blue elephant sliding pond. April sometimes missed her footing getting up and landed on her knees. She would sigh and get back up, running around to use the toy again and again. Jamie sat on the back porch with a glass of iced tea, Eddie didn't want him running around and getting winded or fatigued. He dozed off there, the heat of the day enough to do him in.

For dinner that night, Jamie and Eddie gave the kids baked chicken stars and noodle salad. Max didn't like his hands dirty, he used his fork to the best of his twenty-three-month ability. April, she didn't care, as long as she could do it herself, she grabbed the mayonnaise covered noodles and shoved the food into her mouth, letting out a huge burp twice before she was done.

"Ladylike, not quite," Jamie laughed and tickled her belly rolling on the floor with April in his arms. She kicked her little legs and laughed as Max looked over at Eddie. "Mommom, sing song…" He sang the words just like a doorbell.

"Okay, Maxy, we can sing a few songs? Can daddy and April sing with us?" Eddie asked him.

"No, no…bad," Max replied and covered his ears. "Daddy bad…"

Eddie burst out laughing, Jamie's tone-deaf voice hurt Max's ears. They sang two songs then Eddie cleaned up their dinner. The kids sat nicely with cookies to watch the Little Mermaid, Jamie shot Eddie a look.

"What, if we have to watch kids' stuff, at least it's one I like."

He couldn't argue with that.

Both babies were asleep by the time Ursula stole Ariel's voice. Jamie pulled Eddie into his arms, she laid her on his shoulder, "My pillow…this should be marketed Reagan, you have the most comfortable shoulder."

Jamie kissed her hair and stroked the golden strands. "Have you heard anything from him since you left? Tom?"

Eddie nodded, "The obligatory calls and texts, but he's occupied with Sue so that's all I expected. He wants me to go to a party with him when he gets back, before his surgery and told me to buy a new gown. I really can't wait for the pretension to stop!"

"I know," Jamie sighed. "I'll keep April for you, and I can call and rescue you to come home when she won't' stop fussing."

Eddie smiled, "Thank you…I am nervous about his surgery and what they'll find out when they go in, but I guess that's not really on me alone, Sue must be anxious as well?"

"He's the father of your daughter, he'll always be part of you and you'll always love him in some way for giving you this precious creature here. We do need to talk about Max's party. It's right around the time of Tom's operation…"

"I'll be here for Max's party, he can't turn two without his "Mommom," Eddie smiled. "Simple maybe? The family at Chuck E Cheese? A little picnic in the park?"

"He loves the ducks at the park, maybe rent picnic space and grill…that sounds like a plan."

They discussed the theme for Max' birthday, finally deciding on the circus. Max would dress up as a lion or tiger and they chose a kangaroo for April. It would be very cute and fun for the kids, but quiet and understated for the adults. Just before ten, they carried the babies upstairs and tucked them in. Eddie sang a soft and sweet lullaby to make sure the kids stayed sleeping. When they were sound asleep, she got Jamie's medications and inhaler. "Deep breath, all the way in,' she coached. Jamie was able to do it much difficulty at all.

Jamie didn't push Eddie to make love that night, he knew she needed time to adjust to his being better, besides he had plan in place to bring the romance and the connection back to them, he needed it, he missed it, and he knew she did too.

The next morning Jamie woke up to Eddie bouncing Max on her lap while on the telephone with someone. "Yes, that's right, at the park on 91st and the pier…I want the lions and tigers bounce house, the medium size one for about ten kids and then the massage center for the adults, I think the four blocks. I'd like to have servers too, so my fiancé and I can enjoy the party. I know that's extra…simple uniforms."

Jamie's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "Thank you so much…credit card, you got it."

"What did you just do?" Jamie asked as she sat on the phone on hold.

"Oh, I was making some arrangements for Max's party," Eddie replied. "I got a great deal on the catering and servers if I got the bounce house from the same company!"

"Bounce house! Catering. What happened to simple and understated. This is too much, you should cancel this…we need burgers and hot dogs and ice cream cones…"

"Oh, ice cream!" Eddie clapped her hands. "We should get the Mr. Softy to come and do ice cream for the kids and Kara knows how to do cotton candy, we can rent a machine and do that."

"Eddie, it's his second birthday, we don't need to go overboard, what's next a carving station?"

"Well I thought it would be nice to give our son a great party with all the fun and amazing things that little kids like to play with. I have ponies coming and look, I found this invitation online." Eddie was beaming!

Jamie rolled his eyes, "Eddie, I know this isn't a lot for you, but for me, and my family, it's over the top, it's too much," Jamie sighed. "Cut it back please."

Eddie's feelings were incredibly hurt. She was making this party for her Max, her precious little guy that she had bonded with. It was a slap in her face, Jamie's attitude. "Max deserves this party, Jamie. He deserves a fun; happy second birthday and I'm going to make it for him. I can't believe you don't want to take part in that with me! I'm sure the rest of the family will love it!"

"I don't want this much fuss, Max needs to know he's loved and appreciated for who HE is, I don't want him growing up to be indulged, he's not living in the environment you did, Eddie!"

Eddie stood up with the phone book and her cell and went upstairs. Jamie didn't get it, if she could shower her little ones with gifts and games on their birthdays there was nothing wrong with that. She didn't do it all the time, this was special…Max was special…it made her cry. Jamie thought she was spoiling him. This party was nothing compared to what she got when she was little girl, she was hiring people, so she and Jamie could play with their kids and shower them in affection… of course her favorite times with Max were simply singing songs together, why couldn't Jamie see that? Eddie bit her lip, took a breath, and got back on the phone.

Jamie sat by himself for a while watching the kids play. Max and April were sweet, down to earth kids, that's how he wanted them, that's how he loved them. They didn't need big extravagant parties to show them that.

Jamie put the babies in their play pens and asked Anita to watch them. "I have to talk to Eddie alone right now, I said a few things that really hurt her feelings. I don't want her to be upset, I just…the party she is making for Max is so extravagant both in cost and it style and I just…"

"Listen to me," Anita said. "Sit a minute now…Ms. Eddie, is only happy and smiling like she is now, when she is with you. Otherwise, she is sad and edgy, she's just waiting for the second she can get to her family and get the four of you back together. When that takes time, I worry about her, I worry about her very much."

Jamie sighed, "I do too, I hate that we have to wait but we do and making this huge party for Max isn't going to fix that."

"It will for her, it'll be one more thing to hold onto, and little Max will love it, he'll have a good time. Can you give her this? Give this to her and Max, it won't hurt them, it won't hurt you and it will make her feel like an important part of things... allow her to be the mommy that plans the party. Compromise with her, cut back on the things you don't want and let her give the rest to Max, compromise is the key."

Jamie had a lot to think about as he climbed the stairs and went to talk with Eddie.

"That's right, I'm only interested in the cake now, I changed my mind…" Eddie was cancelling all the plans she made for the party. He didn't' want that either, especially not hearing the pain in her voice. He pushed the door open and moved to sit on the bed next to her. The tears were still on her face, Jamie's chest throbbed that he put them there. "Eddie, I'm sorry about what I said, I love you so much honey and I didn't mean to hurt you. I never should have said you were over indulged…that was mean and hurtful."

Eddie sighed, "Why won't you let me give him this party? Why are you being so resistant? Is it because I'm not his real mother? Do you feel that way?"

"No," Jamie whispered. "God no, I love how much you love him and how he loves you. I just don't want this party to be too huge and over the top. Can we cut something out, more Brooklyn and less Manhasset?"

"I think he'll enjoy all these elements, I know I would have, but what I would have enjoyed most is my mother and father playing with me at my party, hugging me, laughing with me, I don't have any memories like that from being little, not…not one!"

"I'm sorry for that, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "Maybe that means that bigger isn't always better, I mean…"

"Jamie, I want to make him this party," Eddie said firmly. "I did cut out a bunch of my ideas, I wanted to hire a petting zoo to go with the pony rides!"

Jamie smiled, "That was a little bit over the top, even for you. I want to make him a party, and you're right, burgers and hot dogs maybe aren't enough. Let's go over the ideas you had, personally, I can get behind a bounce house and massage stations for the parents…what else…"

"Pony rides fit the theme, but maybe instead of all day like I thought, we can do it for a few hours, same thing with the ice cream truck, but space these things out over the day so that kids aren't overwhelmed?" Eddie suggested.

Jamie agreed with that, "I'd like to stick with a homemade cake thought, just a plain sheet cakes with writing, that's a Reagan tradition, that the cake is homemade. We can do it together."

Eddie had never made a cake before and that part made her nervous, "Okay, we'll try or maybe Linda can help?"

Jamie smiled, "chocolate cake and vanilla icing and we'll do in the blue writing… that sounds great."

Slowly they broke the tension and began to laugh. Eddie made a list of vendors to call and they worked out a budget for the party. Jamie loved seeing Eddie smiling so happily. "Guess what…" he whispered pulling her into his arms. "Tonight, my father is going to take Anita and the kids to Chuck E Cheese and you and I will have the house all to ourselves. I thoughts we'd grill some steaks and corn, toss a salad, eat on the porch…some wine…" Jamie kissed her neck and nibbled at her eat. "Some music…what do you think honey?"

Eddie smiled, "That sounds very nice, very nice…What time are they going?"

"Around six…we have time to go to the store and get things…why don't you work on the calls, I'll get the ingredients, and we'll start cooking as soon as Dad heads out with the kiddos?" Jamie punctuated the question with a kiss on Eddie's lips and tickled her to make her smile. "I love to see you smile."

"Ditto," Eddie replied and pulled his lips to hers giving him a big kiss. "Now go, I have to find a perfect outfit…we have a lot of catching up to do."

That really made Jamie smile.

Eddie chose a denim skirt and a pink peasant blouse with ruffles on the bottom. She put her hair in a partial bun, the way Jamie liked. She kept her make up calm and understated, very soft and gentle, she was the picture of feminine grace.

Jamie got back from the store and tested out the grill to be sure it was in top working order.

Frank arrived home at ten minutes to five and the kids were out of the house and on their way for an evening of fun and games with their grandpa and favorite babysitter. Jamie stood at the foot of the steps, waiting for Eddie, he knew she would be on her way down.

Eddie put on a little bit of lilac water and tied her shoes into place. She hurried down the steps and Jamie gasped. He had seen her in sexy nightgowns, party dresses, and various daily outfits, but there was something about this one. "Oh Eddie, you look beautiful." Jamie pulled her in for a deep kiss with a renewed passion.


	112. Chapter 112

Chapter One Hundred Twelve

Eddie chopped the lettuce for their salads and Jamie put a dry rub on the steaks. They moved in unison, like a pair of ballroom dancers, anticipating each other's moves and motions. When the meal was ready, Jamie opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. He held his and toasted Eddie, "To us, to being together, to loving each other, and to being partners in all the ways that matter. I love you."

Eddie smiled, "I love you too…" They touched their glasses to each other and then kissed gently. There was a soft rumble of thunder in the distance. The porch provided ample cover, nothing was going to ruin this night. Jamie turned on some old jazz to further enhance the mood.

"Oh, this tastes so good," Eddie smiled. 'You cooked it just the way I like it. Maybe you should be the one on the grill at Max's party."

"How did that work out?" Jamie asked. "Did you put everything back like we discussed?"

"I did, and we will make his cake, I did order, and it was included in the service, a fondue for the adults, chocolate with berries, marshmallows, and bananas. I stuck with the servers because I want us to enjoy his party and more important, enjoy him having his party. I hope you agree."

Jamie took Eddie's hand and kissed it softly, "I do, of course I do…"

Today, was a banner day for them. They had disagreed, and Jamie had said a few things that were hurtful, but instead of running off or pulling away, they talked it out and reached a compromise. That would be a sign of good things to come.

The thunder got louder, Jamie and Eddie put the dishes on a side table and sat together listening to the music and watching the lightening in the distance. Jamie's blood felt like that lightening when he touched his Eddie. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed, she inhaled the air as the rain began to fall bringing a fresh and clean scent to the air surrounding them.

The music changed, the low soulful wail of the saxophone filled the night. Jamie looked at Eddie, both a little damp from the spray blowing onto the porch. He stood up, then leaned down and took her lips in deep kiss before whispering in a voice husky with need, "Dance with me."

She stood and went silently into his arms. She closed her eyes and her head found its personal resting place on his shoulder. There couldn't be anything more perfect, she thought, than slow dancing barefoot, on the back porch of Jamie's family home in Brooklyn, while the rain poured down and twilight wrapped around them. He was so warm she wanted to sink into him, she pressed closer. He urged her even closer still, "Rest against me." The words were barely a murmur, as if he didn't want them to intrude on the moment.

This was pure pleasure, the strength of his arms wrapped around her, the hardness of his chest rubbing against her breasts as they swayed to the hypnotic wail of the music. His thighs slid along hers, his feet brushed hers, and occasionally she even felt his hardness pressing against her. She found herself waiting for the next time their movements brought her hip fully against him. She wanted curl into him, press herself fully to that intriguing bulge.

Her heartbeat was slow, heavy. One strong hand slid up her back to close lightly over the nape of her neck, and the other moved down to her bottom. He gently needed her bottom, it felt incredible.

He tilted her head back, his hand firm on her neck. She saw the sensuous curve of his mouth, then he was kissing her. Her eyes drifted shut again. His lips were soft, shaping hers, he didn't use his tongue.

She wished he would. She wanted more of his taste. She curled into him, after all, her hips arched toward him.

His hand left her bottom, she moaned in protest. She heard the click of the door handle behind them and realized he was guiding her back into the kitchen. It was dark inside; he hadn't left a light on. She didn't bother opening her eyes, merely sighed with dreamy pleasure as he continued kissing her, and his hand returned to her buttocks. Both hands, she dimly realized, and she was clinging to his shoulders with both hands. Her breasts were tight, her body reacting to his demanding touch. It felt good, better than good to be so close to him again. She wanted his tongue, she wanted it so much that she rose on tiptoe and deepened the kiss herself.

He gave a low growl, deep in his throat, and took the initiative from her. This time the pleasure was sharp, splintering, and she moaned aloud. He tasted wonderful, the wine they had just shared still tantalizing her tongue. His tongue moved deep and sure, taking, and hers danced around it, softly teasing. She had never realized kisses could be so subtle, so full of meaning, so varied.

He grasped her skirt and worked it up to her waist, then slid his hands beneath the waistband of her panties to close them over her bare bottom. Her buttocks was cool, his hands hot; the contrast had her arching forward and gasping his name. Her breasts throbbed; her hips undulated a little, reaching for and finding the hard ridge of his sex, rocking against him, instinctively seeking relief. She had gone beyond warm; she felt feverish, her skin too tight, her clothes too binding.

He stooped a little, tugging at her panties. They slid down her thighs, dropped to her ankles. "Step out of them," he whispered and mindlessly she did so. Her heart was pounding, her body caught in a fever of need.

She stared up at him in the dimly lit room, his expression was set, his eyes narrow and piercing, his mouth fiercely sensual. They weren't in the kitchen after all, he had danced her through to the steps and was scooping her into his arms to carry her to his bed.

The bed hit the backs of her knees and he eased her down onto it, his hands firm and sure. She barely had time to register the sheets against her bottom before he was on her, kneeing her thighs apart while he opened his jeans.

She breathed deeply, her eyes half-closed, watching him through the fringe of her lashes. The first touch of his masculinity made her eyes flare. He held her gaze, his body pressing her into the mattress. He entered her with a hard, steady thrust, sheathing himself to the root with one movement. Her body arched in feminine shock at the force of his penetration. His penis was smooth and hard, thick and impossibly deep, she writhed around him.

He steadied her, holding her firmly as he withdrew a little and thrust again, his gaze intent on her face. She couldn't stop her gasping cry at the resulting sensation, the pleasure that was almost torture. Her heart pounding against her chest, she clung to him with desperate hands, feeling as if she were about to be torn apart by internal force she couldn't contain. He whispered soothingly to her, words of reassurance she couldn't quite comprehend in her current state. Still, the tenor of his voice was more tender and effective than his words.

"Please," she heard herself begging, for mercy, for relief, for anything and everything. He understood her urgency, they were so in tune with each other, they knew exactly what the other one needed. He pulled back and thrust deep, hard, then again, and she began climaxing.

When her spasms eased, she lay breathlessly beneath him while he found his own climax. He lay heavily on her, his chest and hers moving in time. They had connected so intensely, so deeply neither one could speak, even a whispered "I love you" would dampen the reunion.

Jamie and Eddie fell asleep in each other's arms, they didn't hear Anita and Frank bring the children home, and Frank did not think to even push his son's door open. Instead, the doting grandpa laid both kids in their beds, sending Anita for a nice night at a nearby hotel.

It was April's crying that woke Jamie and Eddie, she got up first, responding to her daughter's distress.

Eddie scooped her up and hugged her tight, "What's the matter? You don't' know where you are? It's okay, Mommy's here…" Eddie rocked her and muffled her cries with her shoulder, so Max didn't hear them and wake up. Jamie sleepily met Eddie in the hallway, is she okay?"

Eddie nodded slowly, "Yes she is, she's okay. She got scared. She's okay."

April looked up at Jamie with wet, teary eyes. "Come see, Dada…" Jamie took the small girl and rubbed her back. "Go back to sleep, I've got her."

Eddie smiled, she loved to see Jamie bonding with April. He was wheezing a little bit though, and that worried her. "Let's lie down all three of us. You need to rest your struggling a little bit."

Jamie nodded, he was winded and tired. He carried April to bed and held her on his lap until she began to fall asleep. "I want you to rest tomorrow, you did a lot today."

"It was worth it, every minute of today was precious, even when we disagreed," Jamie kissed the tip of Eddie's nose.

"We worked it out well," Eddie agreed. "We only have a few days left together like this…then Tom will be back…"

"Stop worrying about that, we'll make due. Tomorrow, while I rest, let's get out the paper and look for an apartment in Queens, between here and there. We'll make it work as best we can until…" Jamie took her lips in a kiss, April giggled and clapped her hands, even she knew when her mother was this happy.

April fell back to sleep in Jamie's arms, then Eddie laid her in the crib next to Max. She slid back into bed with Jamie, he was coughing and perspiring a bit. "Okay, you need to do your inhaler right now…Come here."

Eddie held Jamie while he did his medication, "Chest hurts a little bit,' he wheezed then laid back against the pillow of Eddie's chest.

"I know it does," She kissed his head and dabbed at his forehead. "You have to remember you aren't all better just yet. You need to rest more. I should have gone to the store…"

"No, things worked out like they should have, it was a perfect day, Eddie. A perfect day."

Jamie fell asleep lying against Eddie's chest. She placed kissed on his head and sighed, this was her bliss and finally it was within her grasp.

Eddie made Jamie breakfast in bed, she let him sleep in and fed the kids a meal of fruit and Cheerios. Max talked a blue streak while April delicately ate her meal. It was times like this Eddie acutely missed Henry. He would have been sitting with her, laughing and talking as the children ate. She sighed, "Love you, Pop…"

Anita took over the kids when she arrived, and Eddie took Jamie a high protein breakfast, just like he liked. "Hey sleepyhead, time to get up…" Eddie brushed Jamie's forehead, he was a bit warm. He was overdoing it."

Jamie smiled and leaned up for a kiss but ended up coughing instead. "You are staying in bed and resting today, Jamie. I need you to get all better, okay? We can't let you relapse."

Jamie nodded, "I'll stay home not in bed though. I'm not sick, just recovering. Well, I will stay in bed if…"

The children are here,' Eddie reminded him. "April is asking for you downstairs, but let's eat first. Open wide…"

Jamie laughed and began to eat his breakfast.

Through the day, the cough was steady, and Jamie was forced to take his high-test cough syrup. There was only a little left in the bottle, "I'll go get your refill, honey. You lie down with the babies for a nap and when you wake up I'll be back, and we can have some lunch okay?"

"Okay. You are too good to me…" Jamie cupped her cheek and cuddled to her with a huge smile. "I'm sorry, you have to do this. I'm more comfortable in the caretaker roll."

"I think we both are…oh sweaty…" Eddie brushed back his hair. "You want a shower first before I leave?"

Eddie had no idea how fateful the decision to wait was going to be. Jamie agreed to the shower and since Anita was down with the kids, Eddie slipped in with him. They let the steam break up some of the remaining congestion in Jamie's chest, Eddie massaged his back. They stood under the hot spray cradling each other. Eddie dressed while Jamie toweled off. She left her hair down to dry and supervised Jamie getting set up on his grandfather's old recliner. "Lie back and rest. Kids, listen to Mommom…Daddy is resting, play very nice for Ms. Anita, okay?"

Max and April both nodded their understanding of Eddie's simple direction, then ran off to play. Eddie kissed Jamie goodbye and headed out of the house.


	113. Chapter 113

Chapter One Hundred Thirteen

The line in the pharmacy was forever and when Eddie did reach the front, they didn't have Jamie's prescription ready. She sat down and read a magazine article on her phone while she waited. Eddie wanted to get the medication home to Jamie quickly. He was feeling better, but he was still having pain from the repeated coughing fits. Finally, prescription in hand, she pressed the elevator button and got on. She didn't expect that she had been watched most of the time she was in the hospital pharmacy or that the person that was spying on her.

Eddie planned to text Jamie and tell him that she was on her way home, but her phone rang and distracted her. "Hello…"

Eddie hung up, rolling her eyes, another scammer trying to get money from her. She shrugged and got on the elevator with her mind elsewhere. She had to ride up three floors before finally being able to go down.

When Eddie stepped out of the elevator, she felt her hair stand on end. Someone was behind her, in her space, but she couldn't tell who it was. The only person that she could even see that the hospital security guard. Suddenly, she was grabbed from behind before she had a chance to react. The precious cargo dropped from her hand, Eddie kicked and bit at her attacker, he smelled familiar, and his touch…

"Be still stupid slut! What, I wasn't good enough for you? Had to be a Reagan." He threw Eddie up against the wall, one strong arm coming across her throat. "You and that arrogant idiot ruined my career, got me sent to Staten Island. You destroyed my life, and now..." Ray turned and threw Eddie on the ground in the alley behind the hospital. "Fiancée huh? Well, you are going to have to see what he says about this huh?"

Eddie's heart was pounding, Langley? Now after all this time, he was coming after her now when she had to get back to Jamie and take care of him. The look in his eyes was so cold, she knew that she had to fight and fight hard. She felt filthy already, his hands were all over her body, feeling her breasts, her shoulders…touching her in a way that she only wanted Jamie to touch her.

It took a minute for Eddie to register that she was thrown to the ground. "Langley, what the hell?" She scrambled to her feet and adopted a defensive stance. "Don't put your hands on me again!" Eddie commanded in her best voice. "I didn't choose to love you or be with you, I didn't choose…"

Ray lunged for her and knocked her on the ground again. "I don't give a damn what you chose, you took from me and I want what I deserve." Ray slammed the back of Eddie's head down hard, temporarily stopping her fighting back.

Ray ripped at Eddie's clothing, just last night, Jamie hand tenderly undressed her, and now Ray tore the blouse with such force it could never be worn again. The delicate buttons flew in all directions. Eddie clamped her thighs shut trying to keep him at bay. Ray was forcing his lips on hers with bruising force. He held her head between his hands, squeezing it like a melon with so much pressure Eddie thought her skull might crack in two.

Every bit of anger and frustration Ray felt he took out on Eddie's body, though she was giving as much as she was getting. Each time Ray tried to kiss her, she turned her head. That earned her a punch to the cheek or side of her face, but then Ray connected it earned him a bitten tongue or head butt. Still, he was bigger and stronger, he was winning. Eddie had to think fast.

She pulled her leg back and kneed him with all her might, but his adrenaline was pushing him. He ignored the pain and pushed on, giving Eddie a sharp punch to the eye.

She cried out at the pain, then bit down hard when Ray kissed her again. She scratched his eyes and finally got one of her pinned arms free enough to hit him in the nose. The blood squirted out and covered her blouse, face, and hair. Still, Ray was undeterred, he pushed her legs apart…ripped off her panties and shoved his hand between her legs. "No!" Eddie shouted at the top of her voice. "No! No! No!" She kneed him again, this time hitting her target dead on. Ray rolled off her in agony, then limped away, leaving Eddie beaten, bruised, and in tattered clothing on the dirty sidewalk.

Eddie pulled herself to her knees and crawled on the ground toward the hospital exit. She knew she needed to get help, she felt the sting of the cuts, the pull of the skin around the abrasions, and the throbbing of her head. She reached for her phone, it was in her pocket. She tried to dial Jamie, she even managed to get his name up on the screen before the dizziness took over and she dropped in a heap.

Nurse Patty Scott stepped outside of the busy hospital to have a much-needed cigarette. She took a breath of the smoggy New York air and stretched her tired back. She bent down to stretch then saw Eddie. Her blouse was ripped nearly to shreds, blood spattered on the pale fabric. "Oh God…Stretcher! I need a stretcher out here!"

"Hang on honey," Nurse Scott told Eddie. "Hang on, help is coming."

Eddie didn't hear the medical directions being called around her as they rushed her inside and began to check her out. "She's a cop, there's an ID card," Nurse Scott said.

"Call it, find out who to notify…" the doctor replied, and she went to do so.

Jamie was resting in the recliner, his feet up with the news on when his cell phone rang. He saw the hospital name come up, that explained why she was gone so long, there was a problem with the script. Hello."

Jamie heard the words in a bubble, he identified himself, then everything seemed to spin. He heard the nurse telling him Eddie was in the hospital, that was all he had to hear. He hung up and put on his shoes, stopping only to tell Anita he needed her to watch the babies and to call his brother.

"Eddie's in the hospital," he texted Danny. "Meet me!"

He got in the car and sped off to get to his Eddie's side.

"Excuse me! I'm here for Eddie Reagan…Eddie Manning, I mean, Eddie Manning. I'm Jamie Reagan, I was called!" Jamie was breathing hard, it all came out in a big rush. His heart was pounding, his chest ached.

"Calm down, Ms. Manning is in CT. She should be okay, she was beaten badly but aside from cuts and bruises, and a possible concussion it doesn't look like anything too severe. We'll wait and see what the doctor says. Have a seat…"

Again, half of the conversation didn't register, he heard beaten and felt his legs turn to jelly. Thankfully, Danny arrived a few minutes after Jamie and heard the nurse provide him with the information on Eddie. Danny caught him, "Come on, Kid. Let's sit down. Let's sit down and take a breath. She's going to be fine, I'm sure she'll be just fine."

Jamie coughed and covered his mouth, trying to stifle the sickness in his belly. "Sit still…just breathe I'm sure she'll be back in a few minutes."

"They said someone beat her…uh…"

Danny nodded, "Let me get security moving on a tape and I'll call Baez to run point on this. We'll get the scum, we'll get him, you worry about Eddie and yourself."

Danny began to set the wheels in motion to nab the guy that hurt Eddie while Jamie got his breathing under control. Finally, Jamie was called, "You can come back and see her. She's awake, a little groggy, but she's asking for you."

Jamie smiled and put on his best face for her. Her face was bloodied and already swelling on her left cheek and right eye. She had a bandage on her knee and both hands. She had fought back.

"Jamie…Jamie, it was Ray, it was Ray Langley, he grabbed me…"

Jamie saw red, "Danny…" Danny had already heard Eddie as was relaying the information to Baez. "it's okay, we're going to get him. We're going to make him pay for this."

"He…he was touching me, he …I think I'm going to. My head hurts. I'm going to throw up…"

Jamie gently eased Eddie over and rubbed her back, easing the spasms. She cried out, her head throbbed. "It was Ray Langley, his blood…it's on his…on my shirt. The one I had…oh I wore for our date and he ripped it up…it's all ripped up."

Jamie stroked Eddie's hair, "It's okay, I'll get you another pretty shirt. Ssh…" He wrapped her in his arms.

Eddie held on tight, she laid her head on Jamie's chest. He was wheezing pretty badly, "Oh, I'm sorry…I dropped it. I dropped your medicine someplace."

"It's okay," Jamie soothed. "I'll get some more. What matters now is that you are okay. Lie back now and rest your head."

"I feel so…I'm so dirty, Jamie…I…feel…" Eddie slurred, starting to doze off.

Danny poked his head back in, "I have the blouse, Eddie. And we have the tape. He's still in the area…at a medical clinic down the street. We can go get him, Kid. Back up is on the way.

Jamie's face turned dark red, he was nearby, and he wanted to get his hands on him, but he didn't' want to leave Eddie. "Go on Danny, I need to stay with Eddie."

Eddie shook her head, "No…no…go get him. Go…he threatened…go please go." Eddie could see that Jamie needed to do this, that he needed to go with Danny and get Langely for what he did.

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a warm kiss, "I love you. Rest, I'll be back."

Jamie and Danny hurried to the location where Langley had been last spotted, they trailed him as he headed back to his walk-up apartment. "Don't lose your cool, Kid," Danny warned and headed up the three flights to Rays' apartment.

"You got it," Jamie replied, but the second they hit the door and Jamie saw Ray Langley's face, all bets were off. "You son of a bitch!" Jamie hissed, and punched Ray squared in the jaw. "You rotten low life piece of garbage! How dare you?" He bent Ray's arm behind him and shoved him into the wall. "How do you like it huh? How do you like it?"

Danny looked the other way as Jamie had his way with Ray. He repeatedly punched, kicked, and shoved the other man, like a man possessed. Jamie was never the type to lose it like this, but here he was beating a suspect like…a guy defending his fiancée, not a police officer…she was his girl now, that made all the difference.

Langley got a few swings in of his own. "You ruined my life, you and the whore, you ruined my life. You were doing it all along, just like I said!"

That did it, the word whore echoed repeatedly in Jamie's head. He grabbed Ray's collar and shoved him down the steps. He landed with a thud, holding his arm across his ribs.

"Kid, enough" Danny warned. "Stop…there are more units on scene, you can't get in trouble here, all right? You can't…you have your family, stop it now."

Jamie had not choice, he was breathless and coughing hard. He covered his mouth and coughed up some blood into a handkerchief. Danny clapped Jamie's back, soothing his brother's anger and agony as Baez and units from the nearby precinct dealt with Langley once and for all.

Jamie was coughing when he returned to the hospital. "Sit down with Eddie, I' going to get you some of the medication that Eddie dropped. Eddie was sleeping peacefully, her face swollen. Jamie took a cool rag and laid it on the bruising. "I remember you doing this for me, having you by my side was such a huge comfort to me."

Jamie whispered, and Eddie stirred, "Nowhere I'd rather be," Eddie replied. "I love you so much…I…Can you please stay really close? He touched me, Jamie. He touched me, he groped me…his filthy hands…"

Jamie sniffed and wiped his eyes, "He can't hurt you again. He's been arrested, there is video of him attacking you, he won't be out for a long time." Jamie stroked her hair carefully and gently. "You want some water? They said you have to stay overnight, I'll be here by your side."

"You're still recovering, I'll be okay here. Maybe Danny can stay," Eddie suggested.

"No, I'm going to stay, Anita has the children, everything is okay. Close your eyes my love, rest your head, I'm not leaving." Jamie knew Eddie needed him by her side, even as she told him to go her hand clamped on his. She could have been killed, she was nearly raped, and that made him feel very sick. Eddie sighed and fell asleep.

Jamie gently rubbed a hand down Eddie' s cheek and slowly leaned over to kiss her. He reached for her hand holding it watching her as she slept breathing in unevenly.

Danny returned with the cough syrup "Here, they said to take two teaspoons right now. I had them make it cherry for you." Jamie laughed, "Thanks Dan. Can you please call Dad and make sure he knows Anita is taking care of the kids and I'm here with Eddie?"

"Sure, thing kid," Danny softened his voice. "How's she doing Jamie?"

"She's okay, she's shaken up badly Danny," Jamie sighed. "Tom's due back in four days, how in the Hell can she explain this to him and have him not go crazy over protective macho husband again. We can't keep living that way, she's ready for that to be done. We were picking out apartments today."

Danny nodded, he figured she would be upset. "That's understandable, Kid" He shook his head. "Eddie should talk to him it isn't fair to any of you."

"No, it's not fair, but Eddie had April and if she doesn't handle it with kid gloves, she could risk losing her baby," Jamie replied. "I can help her fight that, I can't do for her what she did for the compresses hoping he was easing Eddie's pain.


	114. Chapter 114

Chapter One Hundred Fourteen

Danny watched the gentle care Jamie was giving to Eddie. He knew they were meant to be together, he knew that for awhile. "If there's anything I can do to help just ask okay?"

"Just let Dad know he has to back up Anita, okay?" Jamie replied. "Let us be, she needs quiet, they are going to let her go home tomorrow but…tonight we need to be alone."

Danny nodded touching his brother's arm in a silent show of support turning and walking out to give them a little privacy.

Eddie slept well with Jamie by her side and the help of the medication. In the morning, the doctor gave her another exam then let her go with the promise she would rest in bed and not drive for at least a few days until she saw him again.

"I'll take care of her," Jamie promised as he pushed the wheelchair through the door. He coughed and turned his head; the congestion was breaking again, and he was able to relieve himself of some of it. "Sounds like you both need your rest," the doctor said as they headed for the exit.

"We'll take care of each other," Eddie whispered with a smile.

Jamie leaned down and gave her a kiss. Part of him expected her to shy away from him, to not welcome his or any man's touch, at least for a while, but that was, thankfully, not the case. If anything, Eddie wanted him closer than ever, and that, despite everything, made him smile.

Jamie drove slowly to the house, he didn't' want to jostle Eddie's head. She still had the pounding headache and felt dizzy.

"You're quiet," Eddie observed as she watched Jamie's face. "Talk to me, what's wrong?"

Jamie shook his head, "You know how I don't like to use my hook for anything, but occasionally I will if I think it's going to benefit someone else?"

"Sure,' Eddie replied. "You have done that for officers that needed a transfer or some kind of help, you're considerate like that." Eddie rubbed his leg. "Why? What did you do?"

"This…I think," Jamie sighed. "I was instrumental in having Ray transferred, in doing the thing that he felt ruined his career and that made you a target! That made him want to get to me through you. I'm so sorry."

"Pull over," Eddie told him. Jamie sighed, "Pull the car over."

Jamie did, and Eddie firmly took his head in her hands, "Look at me, he did this, only him. He was sick in the head and he made this choice, he made the bad choices, so stop blaming yourself…"

Jamie took a breath, "I was spineless then, like he said I was. I should have owned up to it then, my cowardice…"

"No, you protect me, you love me and our children…you are not those things." Eddie rained kissed over Jamie's face. "You're my love, my hero…"

Jamie sighed, "I just…it hurts to see you…"

"I know…" Eddie murmured. "I know…let's go home, baby. Let's go home and hug the kids, be thankful, I'm so thankful."

Jamie took Eddie's lips gently, "Me too. For you…"

Jamie held Eddie's hands as they walked up the steps. Frank was waiting inside the kitchen for them, so Eddie could get her bearings before the babies rushed at her.

Eddie and Jamie sat down each sipping the tea Frank made them, "How are you feeling?" he asked looking at them both.

Eddie smiled, "Feeling better each day, you know?"

"Good, a boo boo on the head and pneumonia, you two are falling apart."

They both sighed at the same time taking a quiet sip of their tea. "How are you doing dad?"

"The kiddos kept us both busy..." Frank relayed the story from that morning of little April refusing to let Max leave the crib first. "She would grab him and fuss and holler, so finally I just took them both out. They are so attached."

Eddie gave an amused laugh not hearing little footsteps approaching. Max and April toddled in holding hands, Max hearing Eddie' s voice dropped his hand and ran to her. "Mommom!" He stretched out his chubby arms and went for a big hug. "Uh-oh...Mommom boo boo..." The swelling didn't scare him. He smiled, "Max kiss."

Eddie smiled brightly lifting the small boy for a hug and kiss. "Thank you, Max.." April went around standing next to Jamie.

Jamie scooped up the little girl and hugged her. She was fussing and pointing at Eddie's face. "Yes, Mommy got hurt it's okay, you are okay..." Jamie cuddled her.

April curled against him laying her head on his chest. "Tay..." She repeated sitting on Jamie contently.

Max kept patting Eddie and kissing her cheeks. Eddie cringed a few times. She was tired, and her head hurt. "Maxy, Mommom has to go upstairs and go sleep okay?"

"No no..." Max planted himself in Eddie's lap wanting more cuddles with her, pouting his lips sadly.

"Maxy sleepy?" She asked. "April it's you nap time too honey. "Come with Mommy."

April pouted too not ready to lay down for a nap. "Play," she looked at Jamie blue eyes wide and rounded sparkling up at him.

Jamie agreed to do flashcards with April while Max was content to snuggle with Eddie upstairs. April got sleepy a half hour later, Jamie joined Eddie and a sleeping Max in his bed. The family of four all got their rest wrapped around each other.

The rest of the day was slow and easy. After cuddles, the babies went to the yard to play with Anita while their parents rested. They shared a dinner the six of them, pizza and salad before Frank shooed the kids back to rest. Anita promised to bring the babies for hugs and kisses before bedtime.

Jamie cuddled Eddie rubbing a hand down her arm. "How are you feeling eddie?"

"Okay," she replied. "I can't believe it, you know. That he did that and that I got away. I can still feel him all over me...I can smell him." Eddie moved closer to Jamie. "Hold on to me please."

"Always," Jamie held onto her tight kissing the top of her head gently. "You're okay Eddie your safe... you did what you had to and now you're where you belong."

"For how long?" Eddie asked. "Tom will want me to take up my role again. He'll be content as things are, but I am not. I need our family."

"I do too but that's your call Eddie I don't want to pressure you into anything. If you need help you only have to ask," Jamie rocked her.

Eddie decided she needed to take a nice hot shower, while Jamie sat on the bed waiting for her to come out. A half hour passed and still she hadn't come out.

Jamie sighed and got up, he pushed the door open and felt the steam hit his face. "Eddie..." No reply. Jamie pulled the curtain back. She was still scrubbing.

"Eddie honey it's time to come out your clean," Jamie spoke softly. "Hey, it's okay come lay down with me let's cuddle and rest together."

Eddie looked up at Jamie, her eyes pleading with him. Jamie stepped back, removed his own clothes and got into the shower with Eddie. She went into his arms. She pressed herself as hard as she could against him, she rested against him, "Help me, I can't reach, and my back is itching."

"Sure, honey then we can dry off and get some sleep okay?" He gently scratched all over her back leaning in to whisper, "come on honey lets go dry off."

Jamie washed Eddie's hair again, he loved the texture and the way she melted into him when he massaged her scalp. "It's okay, honey, we'll get through all of this. Come out now." Jamie scooped Eddie up, wrapped her in a towel then laid her on the bed. He got the lotion she used and began to apply, testing her tolerance of his touch once again. If nothing else, she wanted it more than ever, though true intimacy was discouraged for a few days at least.

After he finished Jamie pulled her close kissing her cheek. "Let me get you dressed comfortably then we can lay down together does that sound good?"

Eddie nodded, looping her arms around Jamie's neck, she just wanted to be held and feel his protection. "I'm fine like this...it's hot out. Let's just lie down like we are. Hold onto me, please hold onto me."

Jamie held onto her laying down on the bed too moving his arms around her waist, so they could cuddle. "Of course, honey anytime." He cradled her tightly just laying together

Jamie's tender stroking lulled Eddie to sleep, he knew that she was too tired for more than this yet. He hoped that she could resume their usual activities before Tom returned. He hoped their plan to finally unite their family worked. Jamie fell asleep dreaming of many nights like this, holding his Eddie, their kids sleeping down the hall.

Jamie's cough subsided with rest and the swelling and bruising on Eddie's face began to die down with the rest and Frank and Anita's watchful eyes. Tom called two days before he was due home, reminding Eddie of the banquet they had to attend. She took the time to get a dress before he doctor's appointment, as long as it fit, she wasn't being very selective. The desire to be a trophy was gone.

Frank approached Jamie and Eddie while they were in the kitchen. "I think you two need some time so tonight I'll take the babies you two will go to dinner together. Everything is already set."

"I'll check with Eddie when she gets up. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health, but she still gets really tired. She was up crying most of last night, thinking I didn't hear her. She's not ready to go back and we didn't find an apartment yet." Jamie circled another add for them to call.

"Well your welcome to stay long as you need. It might be good for both of you to get out and just spend a little time together. Talk to eddie a romantic evening with you may be what she needs."

"I'll go ask her now..." Jamie smile at Frank. "Dad, can you get Baker to check on some apartments in Queens, nice places. Eddie can't stay here, it could hurt her in the divorce."

"I'll give her a call right now I'm sure baker would be more than happy to help out." Frank whisked his cell phone out.

Jamie smiled and headed upstairs where Eddie was doing scales with Max and his pitch pipe. April was playing with her blocks on the rug. Jamie sat down to play with her, "Dad offered to take the kids to a hotel and give us the place to ourselves tonight. Romantic dinner, maybe some dancing...and some special time to ourselves." Jamie looked hopeful.

Eddie focused on max glancing up at him smiling too. "That's really nice of your father and having some time for us sounds like a really nice idea."

Jamie beamed, "Then let me take them, you can start getting ready. I want my best girl to look beautiful and get your mouth ready...sky is the limit tonight." Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie's lips before taking both kids out of the room, so she could get ready.

Eddie reached into the bags she hadn't unpacked from Italy and found a little black dress with a V-neck and a V in the back It had a modest hemline, just above the knee, Eddie raised it with a pair of pumps. She put her hair up in a French twist and held it in place with her silver comb.

Eddie heard Jamie playing with the kids, he was blowing on Max's pitch pipe and the baby was laughing and singing the tones. She heard April's giggle and looked over the rail to see her being tickled. It warmed her heart.

Eddie applied her makeup and perfume. "Eddie, the kids are going."

"I'm not ready, go sit in the kitchen so I can say goodnight to them and you can't see me until I'm done!" Eddie had been trying, in vain, to cover all the bruises.

Jamie laughed but obeyed her request "Be a good girl for Frank," Eddie told April. "Give kisses goodnight to Mommy."

"Nigh nigh…" April told her mother with a gentle smile. "Love oo…"

"Mommy loves you too," Eddie smiled. "Maxy, be a good boy. Look after April, hold her hand when you two walk around okay?"

"Yes, do it," Max told Eddie and hugged her. Frank took each child's hand and they walked out to the kitchen to say goodnight to Jamie and head out for a night of fun with Grandpa."


	115. Chapter 115

Chapter One Hundred Fifteen

Eddie worked on her face another ten minutes before Jamie called to her, "The limo is here, honey."

Eddie slowly descended the stairs to where Jamie was waiting. He was smiling up at her. "Beautiful, simply beautiful." Jamie captured her hand and pulled her in for a long stirring kiss.

Jamie put his arm around Eddie as they headed to the limo and rode to Carmine's, a family favorite. Their table was in the back corner. They were greeted with a vintage bottle of red wine and bruschetta. Eddie took a bite while Jamie watched. Her eyes rolled back in her head with pleasure, "Oh this is so good, Jamie. I already love it here."

He smiled softly, "I love that you love it."

"Aren't you going to eat?" Eddie asked. "You're just looking at me."

Jamie blushed, busted! "I'm enjoying the view, sometimes I like to just look at you and watch you have a good time. I get my joy from yours, I think I always did."

Eddie gave a smile, "Me too, I mean seeing you happy makes me so happy. You were laughing with the babies earlier and I…my heart soared. Tonight, I think, will be…"

"Yes, is it terrible that all I can think about is getting you home?" Jamie asked. "I want to see that dress hit the floor and worship your beautiful body top to bottom." Jamie slid his shoe off and ran his foot up Eddie's leg.

"Sorry, Jamie," Eddie laughed. "I am not going anyplace before my steak murphy."

Again, Jamie laughed.

An entire plate of steak murphy, half an order of shrimp parmigiana, two gelatos, and a bottle of wine later, Jamie gently carried Eddie through the front door of the Reagan house. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her shoes in her hand. She kicked them off in the limo. Jamie kicked the door shut then carried Eddie upstairs to his room, only then did he set her on her feet.

Jamie reached first for the comb and tugged gently, catching her hair as it spilled out and around her shoulders. Jamie pulled Eddie in tight and crushed her head to his chest. He loved being able to hold her and cuddle her at will, it was bittersweet. Tomorrow Tom returned and even though they were going to be in the apartment, it wouldn't feel the same.

Eddie tipped her face up, the makeup had faded, and Jamie could make out the bruising on her fair skin. With tenderness, he kissed the marks and sighed, "Does it still hurt?"

Eddie shook her head, "Not when you touch it."

She slid her arms up, letting him know she wanted him to touch her, to cuddle her. His hands moved around the back of her dress to undo her zipper. In one gentle yet quick motion, the dress hit the floor revealing Eddie's black lacy bra and matching panties.

Eddie's own hands worked to remove Jamie's black belt. She pulled his shirt free of his pants and undid the buttons quickly. She shoved the fabric off his shoulders and ran her hands over his bare chest. "No undershirt?" she asked.

"I know how you like it,' Jamie replied deepening his kisses. "Skin to skin."

Jamie undid Eddie's bra, cupping her breasts with his hands. He dropped to his knees and burrowed his face in her chest, inhaling the sweet, soft scent of her. Eddie ran her hands through Jamie's hair, holding his head in place. She slid down to his level and their lips met. The rest of the clothing melted away, the two of them touched lips, chests, hands…they melted into one another becoming one person.

Jamie picked Eddie up and laid her on the bed. "Are you sure?" he asked, still worried if he pushed too hard that Eddie would get scared.

"Come home to me, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "Come home…"

That was their special invitation, Jamie leaned down and captured Eddie's lips, moving over her body, their bodies warming each other, their lips caressing each other.

Jamie's lips slid down Eddie's jaw to her breasts. He sucked at her, pressing the nipple hard against the roof of his mouth while his tongue worked at it, and she writhed helplessly. Bending forward as he was, the tip of his penis nudged her swollen folds, prodding her opening. Her breath snagged, and her hips arched.

He took full advantage of her position, sucking both nipples, gentle and ruthless at once. His free hand moved over her belly, down between her spread legs. She was swollen and sensitive from his attentions. She quivered, gasping and her head tossed restlessly back and forth within the frame of his arms. His fingers reached deep inside her, pressing upward. His thumb ran over the tiny nub at the tip of her sex, "Oh my God," she cried the words as heat poured through her, drawing her upward like a bow. She could feel her climax building, one of the strongest ones she could remember. Her shaking thighs were spread achingly wide as he shifted close to her, taking his fingers out of her and replacing them with the long stroke of his shaft.

The spasms boiled swiftly upward. He felt them begin and pressed himself deep. Rhythmic cries shook from her and her body convulsed. He controlled his own urges and slowly, carefully built and rebuilt her desire until she climaxed again, and only then did he let himself come.

Eddie sighed in contentment and Jamie moaned in joy...this was what they were supposed to do, this was how they were supposed to be, one body, one heart…one life forever.

They slept, Eddie woke to Jamie's hands on her again. He slid down her body and pressed his mouth to her, the caress so tender and intimate she almost wept, would have if desire hadn't risen again, throbbing insistently between her legs. She thought she would faint this time, the spasms were so intense. She clutched his sweaty sides and completely gave herself up to him. She didn't want it to end.

They slept again, Jamie holding Eddie close. Eddie woke first and began to kiss her way down Jamie's

Eddie woke first and began to kiss her way down Jamie's body. By the time she reached his groin he was awake, erect, groaning. He watched her intently as she took him fully into her mouth.

She didn't know how many times he took her. Her mind was in a fog, her body completely turned over to him. When she was so exhausted she simply couldn't respond again, he cradled her in his arms and brushed a tender kiss across her eyes. "Sleep, my love," he whispered in his soft tenor voice, and it was as if she only needed to hear the words before she let go of consciousness and let his touch and his whispered love lull her into the peace recesses of sleep.

Eddie's phone woke her the next morning, just after seven. Jamie was still sleeping so she grabbed it without looking at who was calling. "Hello."

"Eddie, where are you, I called the house for the last two hours, where are you so early?" Tom asked. The connection was sketchy and the background noise loud.

"I'm at Jamie's father's house," Eddie replied choosing her words carefully. "I'll explain that later. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm on the way home with Sue," Tom replied. "Please have Anita make up the room in the East Wing for her, she's going to be moving in with us and working with me to make sure things are in order for the surgery."

"I see," Eddie replied. "that's good, you'll be okay when I'm not home. I'm going to be staying between our house and Jamie's house for the time being."

"What about our commitment, your commitment to me…" Tom spoke up.

"I think we both know that is just on the surface Tom, you are bringing Sue into the house, that's good, you care for her in a way you never did for me, same for me and Jamie," Eddie confessed. "But I did promise you certain things and I'll keep that promise for now. Have a safe trip, I'll make sure the house is ready for Sue."

Eddie hung up before there could be more discussion. She slid out of the bed and called the realtor to find an apartment posthaste.

"I like this place," Eddie said to Jamie as they ate their breakfast. "Look how open it is for April to toddle around and it is almost halfway between both houses. You could stay with me sometimes and still be able to make it back and forth."

"That sounds perfect, and after the operation" Jamie pressed. "Then we make the final break, move on to making our family?"

"Yes, I meant what I said in that hospital room, Jamie. I can't live like this anymore and I'm not going to," Eddie replied. "I have to keep up appearances for a while, but our family is number one."

Jamie pulled Eddie close to him and kissed her head, "All right, and know I'm here for you, we are here for each other."

Eddie took a long deep breath, "Always. Do you want to come with me to see this place and pick up my gown? I can't believe I have the stupid dinner I don't want to go."

"I know, and soon the only dinners we'll have to go to are Sunday dinners," Jamie replied. "And not even that if you don't want."

"Oh, I do," Eddie said. "That'll make me a real part of the family. I will really feel like a Reagan and I want that for April too. She loves you and your Dad, she is so bright and happy when she's with you."

It was decided then, Jamie stood up and took Eddie's hand. "Let's go sign for the apartment if you like it and get your dress. We'll enjoy tonight with the children, we'll get through this one day at a time."

Eddie lifted her head and gave Jamie a kiss. He got dressed and they headed to Queens to look at the pretty apartment Eddie found on line. The names, Manning and Reagan had a lot of clout, and Eddie got the apartment almost on the spot. She wrote the check for the security deposit, then turned to Jamie and smiled. "Home…at least for now!"

Jamie picked her up and spun her, "Ouch…" Eddie laughed, the healing bruises were smarting a bit.

"I'm sorry, you're doing so well in healing I forgot," Jamie kissed her head. "I'm sorry."

Eddie stood in Jamie's arms and smiled, they were getting close now. So very close.

Eddie picked up her gown after sharing lunch with Jamie, she ate a huge bacon cheeseburger and onion rings, Jamie had a chef salad, no olives. "You looked so happy eating that," Jamie laughed. "One thing I'm glad of, even having a lot of money, you still eat like a cop."

Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie's lips, "I'm still me. I'll always be still me."

Jamie gave her a wide smile, that was good enough for him.

"Please," Jamie begged again as they settled in for the night. "Please let me see you in that gown, you are going to look so fabulous!"

"No," Eddie replied. "You have to wait, we have a plan, and I'll make sure it goes through. Provided of course, you do your part."

Jamie laughed, "You know I will. You, Ms. April," he laughed. "Get to be a part of your first undercover operation. Yes, you are." He tickled her belly and got rewarded with the sweet sound of her baby laughter.

"Thanks for being so understanding, Jamie," Eddie replied. "I know you've been divorced a year, you're ready…"

"Good things come to those who wait," Jamie reminded Eddie. "Like babies, we wait nine months for them, it feels like forever, probably longer for the woman, then you get this…" He nodded to Max and snuggled April. "It's worth every second of those nine months."

Eddie had to agree.


	116. Chapter 116

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

That night, they spent as a family. Tom texted her around 8 he was home, she sent a smiley face in return and that was all. He had Sue and they had to acclimate to being in the house together. Anita was there to ease the transition, she wanted to enjoy this night with Jamie and the kids.

Eddie didn't expect an angry phone call from Tom the next morning. "Hey, Tom," she greeted feeding Max and April a mashed banana breakfast. "Welcome back."

"Well, I thought I was," he replied. "But my daughter wasn't here last night to greet her Daddy and she's still not here. Why is that?"

"April is eating her breakfast, then I'm going to bring her over. It was too late, she was already in her pajamas when you got home. She was sleepy."

April reached out for the phone and grabbed at it. Eddie moved it away as Jamie came in the kitchen to help before going to work. "Dada!" April squealed.

"You see, she misses me too," Tom replied. "When are you bringing her? Sue and I are working out of the house, but we'll break when you come so I can spend time with you."

"That's okay, we'll be there about lunch time," Eddie replied. "I have to go she's trying to put bananas in Max's hair. See you soon."

"That seemed tense," Jamie observed as he took over with Max's breakfast. "Find your mouth buddy…" he coached. "Good job!"

"Yeah, he was upset because I didn't bring April last night to be there when he got home. I'm not sure he's going to get that part of this arrangement, but I'll do my best without giving him a heart attack before his operation. It's only two more weeks."

Jamie rubbed Eddie's back, "We'll do our best, that's all we can do. If he's pressuring you, I'll talk to him, I mean he has an idea about us now. I'll get into it."

Eddie thought that was incredibly sweet, "I will take you up on that, believe me." She leaned in for a kiss then took both kids to clean up before Jamie headed out to take Max to his daycare.

Tom was waiting in the kitchen with Anita when Eddie brought April in. "There's Daddy's girl!" Tom dropped and reached out for April. She toddled over to Tom and gave him a big hug. "I missed you, pretty baby. I missed you so much!"

Tom stood up with April in his arms, "Eddie, oh God, Eddie what happened to you? What happened to your face?"

"Oh, this was…I got into it with someone from work," Eddie replied. 'He thought I owed him something and I didn't. I handled it and he's in jail now. It's healing; I'll be just fine."

Tom set April down on the ground then went to check on Eddie. "Why didn't you call me and tell me?"

"The hospital tried to call you in Italy," Eddie replied. "You didn't pick up so they called Jamie, he's still on my papers from being my partner."

Tom hugged Eddie gently, "They should have tried harder. Despite Sue, Jamie, and everything that's going on, I love you and I don't want you hurt. I never want anything bad to happen to you ever. It scares me that things like this happen to you at work. Are you sure you're all right?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm sure, I rested, and Anita and Jamie were there to help with April. Is that empanadas I smell?"

Tom laughed, that was his Eddie, she'd clearly been beaten up and hurt badly enough that the results were still on her body. Still, she was gung ho to sit down and eat lunch.

The whole time they were having lunch, Tom was putting aside that Sue was in the other room. He discussed the banquet that evening, "Anita told me she can't take care of April, she's got her sister's birthday and you gave her the night off?"

"Yes, Jamie offered to keep her with Max. They really are the best of friends," Eddie explained. "He is so protective of her, holds her hand and snuggles her when they take their naps, it's so sweet."

Tom sighed, "Sue could keep April, then we can come back here together and spend time with her…"

Eddie shook her head, "Jamie knows April better and he knows her ways. You can play with her all you want tomorrow, I promise. I'm going to be moving a few things tomorrow so that will help me a lot too and you can have one on one time with her."

Tom liked that idea, he wasn't wild about Eddie not being in the house. "You can stay here, Eddie. Sue isn't…"

"We talked about this, things are changing for you and for me, Tom," Eddie replied. "I need to be closer to Max and Jamie, you need to be closer to Sue and a house can't have more than one woman in it, it just can't."

Tom sighed but let it go for now, later, he'd give it another try.

"Oh, Ms. Eddie!" Anita gushed as she zipped up the back of Eddie's gown. "That is perfect on you."

Eddie wore a black, strapless A-line gown, with a sweetheart neckline and ruching across the center of the gown. On the hip, it had a small sequenced embellishment; Eddie covered her arms with a matching bolero jacket with lace sleeves.

Her hair was up in a twist, secured with Jamie's silver comb. She wore a lace choker and onyx earring to complete the ensemble. "You look beautiful, Ms. Eddie."

"Thanks, Anita," Eddie smiled. "I can breathe now. And you're sure that you can drop April off at Jamie's?"

Anita nodded, "Yes, and I put some of her favorite things in her little bag, so you have them to go back and forth and don't have to worry about leaving something behind."

"You know what I am going to miss?" Eddie asked. "This, I'm going to miss you to talk to and help me think of things and…"

"I'll still be here for you, Ms. Eddie," Anita smiled. "I promise you." She gave Eddie a warm hug. "Now, you go. I'll take Ms. April and things will go just fine, no problem."

Tom was waiting downstairs in his best tuxedo and a red rose for Eddie's dress. "You look like a vision. Shall we go?"

Eddie nodded giving Tom her hand. They walked to the limo hand in hand and headed to the banquet. Tom could not see Sue in this roll. She was smart and attractive, but lacked Eddie's poise, her presence. The room stopped when she walked in, everyone expected her to be brainless, with her blond hair and ample bosom, but then she spoke articulately and intelligently, shocking the whole room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Manning," their host greeted. "Mrs. Manning, as lovely as ever. You look beautiful as ever. It's so good to see you again."

They found their table and made small talk with the others there. Eddie held her breath. Once the main course was served, she was going to text Jamie and let him know it was time to call her about April. Tom was giving a speech, there was no way he'd be able to break off and go with her. It was the perfect plan for the perfect rendezvous.

The only thing Eddie liked about these things was the food, crab puffs for appetizers, filet with lobster for dinner…then a text to Jamie for a rescue.

Jamie was waiting at home for the text. Max and April were playing happily on the rug handing each other different toys. They ate their little pizza squares well and each had a baby cookie. Finally, the text came in and Jamie smiled. He waited four minutes then called…

"Tom," Eddie broke into his conversation with another area architect. "Tom, I have to go, that was Jamie and April is having a terrible time. She's crying out for me and I have to go to her. I'm sorry."

Tom sighed, "My speech, I…"

"I'll call an Uber and get there from here. If she's going off I'll bring her home in the morning," Eddie replied. "I'm sure you'll do great with your speech."

"I'm sure if you give Jamie a little more time he'll settle her down, I haven't even had a chance to dance with my wife tonight," Tom murmured. He had planned to woo Eddie back to him, at least partially tonight, but April had other ideas. "Take the car, I'll take the Uber. Be safe."

Tom gave Eddie a kiss then watched as she rushed off. Eddie sent the limo back for Tom, she had no plans of leaving Jamie that night.

Both children were already sleeping when Eddie got to the house. Jamie's breath caught. She wore the gown beautifully, it hugged her curves and showed off her delicate shoulders. Eddie had removed the bolero jacket in order to exploit the sexier aspects of the dress for Jamie. His hands were drawn to her delicate shoulders, "Oh Eddie, you look so beautiful, baby. Did you have a hard time breaking off?"

Eddie looked at Jamie, he had dressed up for the occasion. He sported a black three-piece suit, eggplant shirt, and black tie. He looked and smelled good enough to eat. "A little," Eddie replied. "I'm not sure he's going to be ready to play ball with us on this. He's just too used to having me and Sue, I'm not sure he's ready to give up the face of his family for the base of his family, so to speak. But tonight, is not about that, tonight is for us."

Eddie drew a fragile breath, tears clinging to her lashes. It felt so good to be this close to Jamie, held in his arms that it did bring tears to her eyes. It was such a relief; their plan had worked and now she was being pressed to his chest. His hands slip up Eddie's sides, his breath still caught at her beauty.

Jamie's lips came down on Eddie's, tenderly pulling her bottom lip between his two, teasing and dancing her tongue. One strong hand came up to pull the comb from Eddie's hair. Jamie broke the kiss to put the treasured comb on the table, so nothing happened to it. Then he closed the gap between him and Eddie and snuggled her tight.

Jamie began to hum their song, whenever he held Eddie in his arms, it was wonderful. He led her slowly around the kitchen, they were having their own banquet in their heads. Eddie's gown swished along the floor, she moved like a graceful cat, strong and sleek. The motion of their bodies mirrored what they planned for later, an ancient dance of love.

They circled each other, hand in hand, doing a mock dance. Jamie found the zipper at the back of Eddie's dress and worked it down to her buttocks. His hands cupped her backside and pulled her to him making them almost one body. He rubbed her back, stroking her body up and down, Eddie never felt so loved.

Jamie carried Eddie up to the bedroom, then slowly peeled back her dress to reveal she was not wearing much underneath. Jamie licked his lips, hungry for her. Eddie worked on Jamie's shirt, pulling it over his head, revealing the smooth plane of his chest. Her lips found his nipple, she suckled it, teasing it and Jamie to arousal. But then…

April let out a wail the likes that Eddie had never heard before. Both Jamie and Eddie ran to the nursey where they found the little girl on the floor by her crib. "Oh, Jamie!" Eddie knelt and examined her little girl. She seemed to be all right, just frightened. Jamie checked her over as well then scooped April into his arms to rock her. "You're okay, it's okay. What were you thinking climbing out of your bed, huh? What were you thinking doing that?"

"Ou. Out…" April told him. "Apil out…"

Eddie laughed, "She did this at home and we put her bed down, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I should have thought…"

"It's all right, she's okay, I'm okay…" April reached out for her Mommy and snuggled close to her. She put her thumb in her mouth and tried to soothe herself back to sleep in the safety of Eddie's arms.

It took a couple of hours for Eddie to ease April back to sleep and even then, it didn't' take. Jamie could see she was exhausted. "Why don't you give me the baby, change out of your dress and I'll come in soon as she's down."

Eddie nodded and gave Jamie a kiss. April easily went to Jamie for a rock in the chair, while Eddie stretched out on the bed still in her gown. She wanted Jamie to slide it off her, she didn't realize she was dozing…

Eddie heard the baby chatter and the floor boards creak, but the next thing she felt was the wonderfully erotic sensation of his lips on her toes. She was shockingly aroused by the tickling sensations, she gasped as the taunting kissed traveled up to her knee.

It might have been a dream except she was so acutely aware of everything; the heated brush of his breath upon her skin, the curve of his strong fingers conforming to the contour of her calf, the rash of over sensitized flesh quivering from head to thoroughly ravished toes. She was on fire.

She reached down to rumple the crisp cut of his hair, her fingers clenching in unabashed desire, and never had she wanted anything so much as Jamie's touch. She was alive with wild yearning.

"Yes," Eddie moaned. "Oh yes."

He pulled the gown downwards, he rained kisses over the tops of her thighs, his palms rubbing the them as he went higher and higher, brushing away the dress as he went. She caught her breath as he pressed a hot kiss to the inside of her thigh. He rolled onto his back, his hands clasping opposite thighs, pulling her up and over him so that her knees touched his shoulders and she was kneeling upright. She gasped as he nipped sharply at her inner thighs, causing her to inch away from the unexpected pinch of his teeth. Her knees fell apart, which was his intent. A shudder of anxious uncertainty preceded the stroke of his palms up the inner sleekness of her legs until they reached her femininity, parting them boldly with the wedge of his thumbs.

"Eddie…oh you smell so sweet," Jamie moaned as he tasted her sweet flesh. She felt his kiss upon the curve of her hip. her abdomen fluttered as he drew a wet path to her navel, where his tongue swirled lazily before continuing upward. Her breasts tightened in readiness, puckering to taunt budded tips by the time his hands slid up to test and gently mold their fullness. He traced a moist trail up the lotion scented valley, then stopped, cupping his hands, burying his face in their soft fragrance.

Beneath his palm, her heart was beating wildly, hurrying as a state of restless yearning was upon her once more. Jamie paused and just held her for a long moment, their eyes met, and Eddie sighed into his lips, "Yes…please, yes…"

She moaned as he took first one then the other nipple between his teeth for a brief, tender moment. By then, her legs were thrashing helplessly, her head tossing side to side. He stilled her with his hands on each cheek, his fingertip soothing over her brow as he lowered slowly to her lips. Her arms wrapped about him, pulling him tightly to the cushion of her breasts. As his kisses teased across her cheekbones, over her tenderly flickering lids, her hands roved aimlessly over the hot sleekness of his shoulders, kneading, clutching, desperately searching.

When his mouth settled satisfyingly over her once more, he lifted, shifting his weight. She spread her knees in anticipation, welcoming him within their fertile valley. As she was arching her back, encouraging him to stake a deep claim, he paused and held her gaze again. He wanted her to beg.

"Jamie…" Eddie panted. "Oh, I want you Jamie. I need you, I need this, please…"

Jamie smiled, and his mouth dropped down to claim hers, hard, aggressive, fiercely devouring until the gentle sweep of her tongue tamed the heat of his kiss into a fervent quest for mutual delight. She was touching his face, his ears, his hair, his throat with exploring fingertips, wringing a moan from him that was full of wonder. Then he came up on his elbows, looking down into her eyes with such tenderness and concentration, she knew he was soon ready.

Eddie expelled a shaky breath as she lifted up slightly to kiss him with darting little thrusts of her mouth. He groaned and mumbled something she couldn't understand. Then he was filling her, one smooth penetrating move that joined them perfectly.

Slowly, his hips circled, letting her feel his power, his passion for her until her hands spread urgently over the hard contours of his body, clasping, tugging, demanding more, that he show her what to do about the intensifying need flaming through her. He thrust hard, plunging into her so deeply it seems to touch the depth of her soul. She murmured his name like a prayer. When it came, the force of his release was shattering. His body bowed in a taut arch, his eyes closed tightly, his muscled clenched and spasmed, then dissolved into shutters of release. Becoming boneless, he buried his face against her neck and let the last of the tension shiver from him.

There was always a degree of contentment in holding Jamie after they made love. She stroked his damp hair, following the slick ridge of his shoulder with her caress. She listened as his breathing slowed, as his heartbeat quieted. Even as he sighed and brushed her throat with lazy kisses, her heart swelled. She wanted him, every time they made love, she wanted him. She was so deeply in love, and had been since the first day, the first time. Jamie moved over to the side of Eddie and put his arms around her, holding her to his chest. "You belong to me," Jamie whispered in Eddie's ear. "You are mine…"

Eddie needed to hear that today, she needed that strong confirmation of possession and of love. "I love being yours," Eddie replied. "I love belonging to each other, Jamie. I need you so much, not just like this…"

Jamie's hand ran over Eddie's back and pulled her even closer, "I know, my love. I know. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry it's so hard on you. I really am. It's my fault, I know that. If I said what I felt…"

Eddie lifted her head, "There's no fault, I could have fought harder, been stronger, we both made mistakes. We're correcting them, and our family is going to be a reality soon, very soon."

"I can feel the tension in you, Eddie," Jamie murmured. "I can feel it and I hate that you're so anxious about Tom. It's not fair to you, you don't need the stress."

"Neither do you," Eddie replied. "You're going back to work soon, I'm working…we have Tom's surgery and Max's party coming up, let's just let it go. What did Pop always say? "Let go, let God…"

Jamie dropped a gentle kiss on Eddie's head, he had another idea in mind, but for tonight, he agreed. "Yes, he did say that…Sleep, my love. I'll hold you all through the night."

With that assurance, she slept.


	117. Chapter 117

Chapter One Hundred Seventeen

There was tension in Eddie's body even as she slept. Jamie didn't like seeing that, he wanted her to be happy and relaxed going into this next phase of their lives, but he could sense that there was pressure from Tom. That he didn't like one bit.

Jamie planned to go and see Tom about this. He promised Eddie that he would step in and he knew she'd never ask him to do that, even as much as he loved her. Eddie had a pride very much like his and it was hard for her to swallow it and admit that maybe she needed help. He would take that into his own hands, sometimes it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. Jamie dozed off, but only fitfully. When he heard the kids stirring, he went downstairs with each of them. "Maxy, can you stir this for Daddy?" he handed him some pancake batter to stir and let him go to town. "April, here, pull the paper towel. Pull it hard…" She did it and squealed with delight.

Eddie awoke to the aroma of pancakes and bacon, and the sounds of little giggles and footsteps on the floor. She pushed herself up in bed and slid on Jamie's discarded shirt just as they came in. "Mommom make food," Max declared. "I do it…" He was proud of his work.

"You did it!" Eddie beamed. "Come give Mommom a hug, you're such a big boy."

"Apil do…" April handed Eddie the napkins she had ripped, she wanted big hugs too. Eddie wrapped her in her arms and kissed her head. "My babies are growing up into such big helpers. You hungry?"

Both kids were and ate neatly on the bed with Jamie and Eddie. Her phone began ringing a little after eight, twice Tom and once even Anita. "I'll bring her home in a little while and then I have packing to do so…"

"Do you want me to come with you to help you pack?" Jamie asked. "I'm on swing so I have a few hours to help."

"Maybe you can go to the paint store and pick up some swatches of paint?" That would be a big help too." Eddie didn't want a protective Jamie and Tom in the same area, especially since Tom was upset she left the party.

"Sure, anything, I'll meet you by the apartment around 1pm, that'll give us about two hours to unpack and look things over. Are you moving furniture out? I can see if some of the guys from the 12th…"

"No, I'm going to buy some simple furniture and get an air mattress for the time being, I'm not sure what we'll be doing when we finally marry, buying a house or not…" Eddie replied. "Ms. April does need a toddler bed, so she doesn't break her neck. Max never did that?"

Jamie shook his head, his little boy lacked that spirit of adventure, he was usually afraid. "Nope, but I agree, I'll see if Linda has Sean's old one, I think it was just a simple bed, nothing gender specific for you to use for now."

Eddie smiled, she was happy to have the support of Jamie's family, at least most of them.

"Thanks, I'm not sure Eddie will be moved in much before the weekend," Jamie replied. "We should be at the apartment on and off all day Saturday, so we'll leave the door open. You can bring the bed by anytime."

"How are the plans going for Eddie's birthday?" Danny asked. "Linda handled the cake already, it'll be delivered the afternoon of the party to the restaurant. You sure you're going to be able to pull this off? It's not even a landmark birthday, Kid."

"I know but when she turned 30 things were a shit show between us and I want to make it special, she is working so hard to make Max's party special so…"

"Yeah, you're feeling all sappy," Danny teased. "Okay, see you Saturday I'll keep you in beer."

Jamie chuckled and hung up. He swung by the paint store and picked up samples in colors he thought Eddie and April would like then headed to the apartment to meet up with Eddie. Eddie arrived just as Jamie was parking the car with a car load of stuff. "Wow, you packed a lot into that little car," Jamie laughed.

"Help me unload, I have chicken strips and cokes in the back."

Jamie and Eddie took out the boxes of clothing and toys Eddie and Anita had packed. "How did it go with Tom?"

"He pushed again," Eddie replied. "He was pushing to spend time tonight with April, so I gave in to a dinner at the hamburger place and taking her to ride the carousel. It's like he wants to keep us both still and I can't do that. Are you okay with this? I'll figure a way out of it if not."

"I'm okay with it, yeah," Jamie replied. "Don't worry about that, don't stress. She is Tom's daughter, you have to walk a fine line."

"I just hate it, Jamie," Eddie sighed and stepped into his arms. Jamie dropped a kiss on her head and rocked for a second, then pulled out the samples. "I thought this yellow for April's room and maybe this lavender to go around the top. That would look really cute. We should go shopping for this today if you can though because they have a bunch of things on sale today."

"Oh, don't worry about sales, I can cover the paint easily if we can't make it today. Did you hear from Danny, if he doesn't have a bed, I can get her one…" Eddie faded out.

"He's bringing it on Saturday," Jamie replied. "I agreed the first time, that we have to watch the money since we don't know…"

"Oh, it's not about the money, Jamie," Eddie replied. "It's about the time right now, just a fast turnaround. We can invest as much as necessary to make this place home once I'm settled in. Oh, I love this tan for the common rooms…"

It was remarkably easy for them to pick out the paint colors. They agreed on everything from the tan for the living room to a soft green for the bedroom to a gentle grey for the bathroom. The issues arose selecting the furnishings the next day.

"It might be more economical to get all the pieces from one place," Jamie suggested. "Not to mention it being more uniform."

'The couches and stuff yeah, but the tables and lamps we can pick and choose what we want," Eddie replied. "Don't worry about it, I'll get it."

That seemed to be a running thread as they shopped, if Jamie mentioned finances, Eddie stepped in and said, "I'll get it."

After a couple of stores, it was clear to Eddie that Jamie was a little irritated. "What's wrong Jamie?" Eddie asked.

"Nothing, it's just, you don't have a settlement yet, you have no idea what you'll even be getting," Jamie replied. "This is Tom's stuff, his money. I don't want to spend his money."

"Tom never cared about things like that," Eddie replied. "It's still my money and Tom will be generous."

"I'm just not comfortable not being frugal," Jamie replied. "Family of cops and all that."

Eddie understood his feelings, she never had to worry about money, she didn't want Jamie to do it. She bit her lip but took his feelings into account as they selected fixtures and small artwork for the bathroom.

They stood in the bedding aisle of the local Walmart and looked at several different models of inflatable beds. "I like this one for the height. You're leggy, if you try to get up you can get out like a regular bed."

The bed was at least $35 more than the smaller versions but, in this case, it did make a lot of sense. "I think your right, but for us, the full is enough, when we sleep together we are on top of each other mostly anyway."

Eddie laughed and smiled, "That's the plan then." Eddie put it in the cart and they moved down the aisle to select some sheets both for April's bed and the air mattress.

"I'm starving," Eddie laughed after they rang up the purchases. "What do you say to pizza and beer while we paint the house?"

Jamie nodded, "Sounds like a plan."

They worked on priming the walls in the living area first, Eddie wasn't as neat and meticulous with the paint as Jamie was. She went sideways, vertical, criss cross…Jamie rolled his eyes.

"What?" Eddie asked as she turned and splattered paint on him.

Jamie snickered, "You are supposed to be putting the paint on the wall."

"Oh yeah?" Eddie asked. "And not here?" She rolled some paint on his old overalls.

"Oh, whoa, you are going to pay for that one!" Jamie took the edging brush and swatted her in the behind.

Eddie returned fire with a paint brush to the cheek, then Jamie lunged and tickled Eddie. She fell back onto the drop cloth and into the tray of paint. It was in her hair, in her ear, but they were laughing.

Jamie leaned over Eddie, her face was dirty, her hair a mess, but she was still the most beautiful sight he ever laid eyes on. "We better get you out of these clothes," Jamie murmured only half joking. He wanted her, right here and right now.

Jamie worked Eddie's jeans from her hips and her tee shirt off her shoulders revealing her gorgeous body to his view. Eddie reached up, her hands were the only things that were clean, and worked off Jamie's shirt and pants. "We are filthy," Eddie laughed. "But at least the wall is primed."

"We can finish after my tour tomorrow," Jamie replied. "For now, there's a shower with our name on it…what do you say we give that shower a proper christening?"

Eddie's eyes lit up, she loved when Jamie loved her, and the shower was just a plus.

The heat of the spray felt fabulous on sore muscles from days of moving boxes, and for Eddie, holding in her tension, anxiety, and guilt over Tom. Jamie's arms felt even better as he pulled her body to his and held her close. "Wash my hair?" Eddie asked, she loved the feeling of his hands on her head, massaging her scalp.

Jamie poured some shampoo on his hands and lathered it. He worked the suds through Eddie's long, beautiful hair. The lather ran down her body, coating her breasts and running down to her stomach and naval. His hands traced the path of the soap, while his mouth captured hers in a scorching kiss.

Her tongue touched to the seam of his mouth, probing at his lips, until with a ragged groan, he opened for her. She swirled inside, taking his lips with practiced ease. His hands fit to her face, holding her lips in place, inciting her to greater demonstrations of need. She tugged him closer to her, he lifted her, and she clung to him, feeding the urgency with provocative stabs of her tongue to mimic what she was asking of him. "Make me belong to you, Jamie," Eddie begged.

That whisper against his lips struck a chord. She did belong to him, but perhaps she needed more reassurance. He'd be happy to oblige her. With a groan, he positioned her hips with his palms and slid inside her, bracing her against the wall. She took him with a fierce trembling. She kissed him with such passion, his own legs shook.

"Mine," he whispered. "All mine, only mine."

Jamie dipped his head and nibbled Eddie's ear, he suckled the hollow of her throat. Her hands held tight to his shoulders, her nails digging into his flesh as Jamie lifted her up and down against the shower wall.

Her breasts rubbed against his hair roughened chest, adding to the intensity of her orgasm. He thrust into her repeatedly, lifting her hips to reach the depths of her. "Oh…" she cried out in ecstasy. "Oh, Jamie…Oh…"

"Eddie," he sighed. "Oh…This is…oh…" Her body clamped down on him, the power of her orgasm milked him of his lifeforce, until they were both weak and clinging to each other.

Danny pulled up to the apartment with the toddler bed and six pack. He knew that Jamie and Eddie were painting and figured they'd need help. He wanted to help get Eddie settled as quickly as possible, he knew that Jamie needed the stability, so did Eddie.

Danny carried the beer up first, he would need help with the bed. Danny pushed the door open, he remembered Jamie planned to leave it opened, so he could get in easily. He heard the shower water shutting off as he called out, "Jamie? Eddie, you guys home?"


	118. Chapter 118

Chapter One Hundred Eighteen

Before Danny had a chance to react to the laugher that pealed out of the bathroom, Jamie and Eddie appeared, both wrapped in towels, kissing as they stepped toward the master bedroom. "No, not the best," Eddie laughed, as she pecked kisses on Jamie's face and down his chin.

"Okay, so what was the best time?" Jamie asked, going for the hollow of her neck.

"The next time," Eddie replied and snapped the towel off, not noticing Danny in the doorway.

Jamie couldn't remember being more embarrassed as he struggled to cover himself. "Whoa, am I interrupting something there, little brother?"

Eddie turned bright red and ducked for the bedroom as Jamie finally managed to right his towel. "Wow, Kid, no wonder you don't get much done around here. Can't keep your pants on? Or your towel on…but I have to say if I was going to walk in on someone in this house naked, why did it have to be you?"

Jamie glared at Danny, "The only reason you're alive, is because you have beer and a paintbrush. We were just finished by the way, otherwise…even the beer wouldn't save you. Let me talk to her and get dressed, I'll come help you with the bed."

When Jamie went into the bedroom, Eddie's back was to the door, her shoulders shaking. Jamie sighed, it wasn't like her to get upset about something like this, that was just one more reason in his arsenal to see Tom about the pressure she was under. "Eddie, I'm sorry, I forgot."

Jamie reached for her shoulder and turned her around. Then he saw Eddie wasn't crying at all, she was hysterical laughing. "If you could have seen your face!" she howled. "Or his. I have never seen anything so funny, I'm just glad we were both in towels…"

"Danny's not," Jamie replied, laughing with her. "I did forget he was coming today, he's got the bed for April and he'll help us get the painting done if you want."

Eddie got closer to Jamie, her eyes dancing. "How much does he charge? I only pay you in kind, my love."

"He works for beer," Jamie replied. "The faster we finish, the sooner we christen that air mattress, I heard that they are pretty supportive."

That sounded good to Eddie, any chance to cuddle in Jamie's arms was a good deal.

Danny, Jamie, and Eddie worked on the painting and setting up April's little bed for the rest of that day. Linda came by after work and dove into the work as well. The foursome managed to get the entire apartment primed and ready for the color coats later that week. Eddie treated to pizza and more beer as the group sat cross-legged on the floor.

"You're making a beautiful home here, Eddie," Linda complimented. "And please know, you are welcome in our home any time and that we'll be glad to help with April whenever we can."

Eddie smiled, "Thanks, Linda. I'm hoping that making this move will balance things out for me and Tom and for me and Jamie." Eddie held Jamie's hand. "I don't want to be apart from Jamie and Max, I love them so much, but I'm still nervous…"

"You have us and you have a brilliant legal mind in Jamie," Linda comforted. "He won't let anything happen to April, you will be able to share her with Tom."

Eddie nodded again but put her pizza down. Danny and Linda didn't know her well enough to know that was a sign she was upset and stressed but Jamie did. Each of these little signs compelled him more and more to want to speak with Tom. He would do that this week and get that look off Eddie's face before her party.

Danny and Linda left an hour later, Eddie and Jamie collapsed on the air mattress both exhausted. Jamie pulled Eddie close to him, "Lay your head on my chest, talk to me."

"Nothing to say, just tired," Eddie replied. "We got a lot done, in a few more days we'll be officially moved in."

"That makes me wonder," Jamie whispered. "What name are you going to put on the door? I'll get a plate engraved for you on my travels. There's a place near Danny that does good work."

"Janko, I guess," Eddie replied. "I'm still a Manning for the time being but I don't want to use that name. I'm not a Reagan…"

"I'll be here," Jamie replied. "You'll be a Reagan…" He dropped a kiss on her head.

"Yes, but not yet, I think Janko is the best way to go," Eddie replied with a yawn.

Jamie didn't push it, Eddie was very tired and wanted to sleep. He knew she hadn't been sleeping very well lately, and he wanted her to get as much rest as possible.

Eddie and Jamie both got a good rest that night, Jamie held Eddie tight and he finally relaxed having resolved to talk to Tom about the stress Eddie was under. Jamie woke to Eddie's soft kisses, "You better get showered, it's late. We didn't turn on the alarm."

Jamie sighed and gave Eddie a soft caress before getting out of their warm bed. Jamie turned on the shower while Eddie started the coffee. Jamie's phone began to ring while Eddie poured the steaming beverage. She reached for it, the number sequence was familiar.

"Hello," Eddie greeted planning to take a message.

"Hello, is this Jamie Reagan's number?" a soft female voice asked.

"Yes, it is, he's in the shower. Can I take a message?" Eddie asked only to have the caller hang up.

Eddie's wheels turned all day about that phone call. Who was this woman calling Jamie's phone and clearly knowing it belonged to him? "Jamie, you just had a phone call, some woman. They didn't leave a number."

"Oh, probably someone from the job," Jamie wrote it off and thanked God she hadn't been more forthcoming with Eddie. It could have blown him out of the water. "Want to take this coffee with us and get bagels on the corner before we go to work?"

Eddie agreed and shared a firm kiss and hug with Jamie before they left.

Jamie's tour dragged. He hated being on the desk. He checked in with Eddie a couple times that day, making sure she was still working. The last thing he needed was for Eddie to catch him. He hoped April would hold her silence. If he timed it right, it would be her nap when he arrived.

The last person Tom expected to see at his door was Jamie, he immediately worried for Eddie. "Has something happened to Eddie?" he asked quickly.

"No, I didn't mean to alarm you," Jamie replied. He certainly didn't' want to give the man a full-blown heart attack. "If something ever happens to Eddie, trust I won't be the one to deliver the news, I'll be at her side. I would like to speak to you, man to man, about Eddie."

Tom took a breath, "I had a feeling that would come up. Come in. Anita!" Tom called. "Please organize drinks for…"

"Oh no," Jamie shook his head. "I'm good thank you, just some private conversation with you is all I'm here for."

Tom led Jamie to the patio outside the dining room and sat down next to him. "I know you know what's going on between Eddie and I, and we know about you and Sue. We all made huge mistakes in our choices of life partners, mainly me. What I'm here for, is to get the same assurance for Eddie and April that she got for Max and me."

Tom shifted uncomfortably, he knew the word divorce was poised to leave Eddie's lips, that she was holding off for his operation, and then would lower that boom. It took gumption for Jamie to be sitting here now.

"I know that Sue has moved in with you here and that likely won't change after your surgery, but what has to change, Tom, is how Eddie is feeling," Jamie explained. "She's under a lot of stress and strain and I don't like seeing her that way, especially with her on the streets. I think it's wonderful you are having time with Sue, and I understand more than anything how much time with April means to you, but Eddie needs her space too."

"I feel I'm giving her adequate space," Tom replied. "I never had confirmation of your involvement until now, though I suspected. I'm glad that she has that kind of love. Still, she is still my wife and as that there are obligations…especially with my surgery looming."

"She's a good wife to you Tom, she cares for you and she wants to help you through this, but I'm asking when the time comes, and we know it will, please don't make a spectacle," Jamie implored. "Eddie's very concerned about this, she's not sleeping well nights worrying about what might happen with April. I know we can keep everything civilized, I would like to do that if you and I can agree to keep Eddie's stress level down and keep things fair to her. Eddie is important to both of us and I know we only want what's best for her. Please don't ever use April as a weapon against us, with your money you would certainly win however man-to-man, heart to heart, it would be the wrong thing to do."

"Yes, it would," Tom admitted. "I don't plan to play dirty with Eddie especially about April, but I don't know that she's going to be fair. April is already more bonded with you than she is with me. If Anita brought her in here, there's no doubt who she'd reach for first. I know a lot of that is my fault being away so much."

"You can build that relationship," Jamie encouraged. "You'll be staying home more and when you do have April, Eddie and I won't be there competing for that attention. You can have a beautiful relationship with your daughter."

"Sometimes I wonder how this happened," Tom sighed. "How did I even win Eddie's heart, or did I?"

"I fell in love with Eddie from the moment I laid eyes on her, and things she did on the job, how she cared for people, that cinched it," Jamie replied. "When my brother Joe died, I forgot how to feel safe. I forgot how to let go. I couldn't do it with Eddie, when she needed me to let her go and be there for her. Instead I was stupid, and she was hurt. I hated to see her hurting so badly then and I hate it now. She's hurting Tom, this is killing her, the pressure, it's killing her and I'm here, asking you, please stop the pressure."

Tom wasn't sure he was ready to let Eddie go, but he did care for her, he didn't want to see her suffer. "Eddie was too frightened of me to come to me herself?" Tom asked. "Have I been that boorish?"

"No, Eddie has no idea I'm here," Jamie replied. "I will tell her that I was, and I'd appreciate if you did not tell her. I'd like to tell her myself."

Tom agreed, "I'll do my best to let up on her, there are social obligations that we have…"

"I'm sure Eddie will be fine with that as long as it's understood that she's not coming home, that she'll be going to the apartment. I know she'll be here some after the surgery, and I know Sue will be here to give you the special care that you need, the care Eddie gave me recovering from the pneumonia, the care that comes from love."

The two men exchanged a bit of small talk before Jamie stood up, "I'm glad we understand each other, and I wish you the best during your operation, Tom."

"Thank you, and my word, I don't want to see her hurting either," Tom replied. "She deserves to be happy."

"Yes, she does," Jamie replied. "And so do you. Sue is here now, she's within your grasp now. We all deserve a little happiness."

Tom saw Jamie out, and was surprised to see Sue standing in the doorway. "He's right you know," she told Tom closing the gap between them. "We deserve to be happy. You can end this with Eddie, she's wanting to end things too. Tell her you want a divorce, give her half of whatever she wants and joint custody of April. Let's have our life, please let's."

Tom pulled Sue close, "After the operation, I'll talk to her. Let's get through that, please"

Sue agreed, she didn't want to add more strain on him before the operation was completed. "We'll start our new life then," Tom whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, "Sue murmured. "You're a good man, Thomas. A very good man."

 **A/N from Nancy  
This week we celebrate the one year anniversary of Meet me in Montana and it has been a joyful journey!  
You have all been so passionate and loyal as reviewers and you are truly appreciated. I have enjoyed every moment of working with my friend Kristen... what started out as a hobby has become a bright spot in my life.  
Be well and keep reading,  
Nancy **

**A/N from KristenIt's hard to believe it's been a whole year since we started posting this epic saga. I'm so grateful for the time I spend with my friend Nancy crafting this tale and bouncing ideas off each other. It is both joyous and humbling to see the numbers of followers and reviews that have come in. We are still going strong and appreciate every single review, good and bad, and every single moment we work together. Thank you for being with you on this path, there's plenty more to come.**


	119. Chapter 119

Chapter One Hundred Nineteen

After supper that night, Jamie braced for impact. He was going to tell Eddie he'd been to see Tom and he knew she would not be happy about that at all. She hadn't wanted him to interfere, and he did. "She's fast asleep," Eddie smiled. "And Max was down long before her. We have such accommodating babies."

"Yes, we do," Jamie replied and handed her a beer. "Eddie, listen I have to talk to you about something."

Eddie raised her eyebrow to tell Jamie she was listening to what he had to say. "I hope you're not upset with me for this, but I couldn't watch you be upset anymore. I went to see Tom today and talked man to man with him about taking it easier on you and not pressuring you while the divorce talk is happening. He was very agreeable, I think he saw how stressed you were too. I know that you didn't' want me to get involved but…"

Jamie was stayed when Eddie put her beer down, crossed the room, and sat down on his lap. She slid her arm around Jamie's shoulders and held on tight. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for loving me that much."

Jamie's arms came around Eddie and held her close. They didn't speak, they didn't kiss, they just sat together in one another's arms for a long time. They wanted each other, they always did when they were this close. There was no question what they wanted. His heat and hardness spoke for itself as he stood up with her in his arms.

He set her on her feet and pressed her firmly, securely against him, then closed his eyes as his lips opened over hers. She felt his hand, warm and forceful against her buttocks, holding her tight while his warmth and hardness branded her stomach. His kiss became all seeking, he crushed his lips to hers, she felt their tongues meet. His hands came one to each side of her face, and he jerked her fiercely away from his lips. "I love you, Eddie. I love you. Why did it take me so long to realize it?"

The talk with Tom brought back a lot of memories for Jamie, of opportunities lost between them but tonight, and every night from now on he wanted to make up for those lost times.

Eddie stopped him from going further by flattening herself against him with such force that he moaned. He pulled the supple, welcome length of her against him. She felt his raised knee rubbing possessively against her hip and wound her arms around his neck, holding him tight. Then she felt herself hoisted from the floor and into his arms. They kissed, warm against each other as Jamie padded towards the bedroom. With each step, Jamie's erect body brushed against hers, brushing harder each time.

Jamie set Eddie on her feet again, this time in front of their bed. She felt his hands move and seek the knot of her belt. She thought about helping him undo it, but leaned against his loose hold instead, pleasured at the feel of his hands between their bodies. Slowly, the belt hit the floor. One handed, he opened the dress she wore, touching the skin of her throat first with his fingers, then with his lips, then moving lower until his hand lay on the lowest part of her stomach. He backed away to look at her while he wrestled the dress from her shoulders and when he saw the brief garments beneath, he groaned and buried his face in the band of bareness between bra and panties, wetting the skin there with his tongue.

Both of his arms went around her, and she felt her bra go tight, then loose, then fall away in his hands. His head swooped forward while hers dropped back. His kiss fell upon her breast as her hand pushed away his shirt and went for his belt buckle.

Eddie worked Jamie's pants off, he stepped out of them and kicked them away. Jamie lowered Eddie onto the mattress, then moved over her, enveloping her body with his own. Her thighs dropped apart, then closed around him. She felt his arousal, and her own. She throbbed with need and desire. "Jamie…"

They were both so focused on one another that neither of them noticed the air mattress slowly deflating on one side of the bed. Jamie's side. They slid to the floor as they held onto one another's bodies, "Jamie…" Eddie began to giggle as their bed was deflated "I knew this would be a mistake…we are way to frisky for an air mattress."

"Not too frisky for the floor though," Jamie chuckled. He was ready for her, even the flattening of their bed couldn't deter his desire. Or hers.

Eddie took the opportunity to tickle Jamie's side, forcing another laugh from him and a fit of giggles from her. Jamie smothered Eddie's giggles with a deep kiss as they joined their bodies, so elated and delighted to be connected, neither one felt the floor.

When it was over they laid together, caressing each other's bodies, Jamie broke into laughter, "Where's the duct tape, Pop always said there's nothing you can't fix with a little bit of faith and some duct tape."

Eddie found the tape while Jamie reinflated the bed. He managed to get it patched for the night amidst their laughter. "Well, we can officially say we've broken a bed, isn't that every couple's aspiration?" Eddie asked. "For the bed to look like the one in the Quiet Man?"

"Oh, that we'll save for when we have a real bed…I bet we can do it though. You were on fire tonight," Jamie smiled and kissed her head.

"You weren't bad yourself. Do you want me to plug your phone in?" Both chargers were next to eat other on Eddie's side of the bed. She had to be up first.

Jamie nearly turned white and bit his cheek to hide his reaction, "Uh no…" he replied. "In fact, I'm going to plug my phone in next to me."

Jamie's heart was pounding, if he got another call and she intercepted it, he'd have no choice and that would ruin everything. Eddie laid down, thinking it was odd, Jamie was never married to his phone, but she was tired and happy, she let it go. "I love you, Eddie. Sleep well tonight and don't worry, everything is going to be okay."

Eddie sighed, she was so tired, and so grateful to have her Jamie in her life. She slept that night, and barely even moved.

"You're crazy!" Eddie told herself as she curled her hair for dinner with Jamie. "Jamie is not seeing another woman, he's just busy. He loves you and would never cheat on you."

Eddie put the finishing touches on her hair and dabbed her lipstick. The last couple of days, Jamie had been very secretive with his phone, had been arriving home late, and was a little bit jumpy when Eddie was making conversation about his day. It was sending up some uncomfortable red flags for her, the only thing stopping her from thinking she was right was that it was Jamie.

Tonight, things would be different. She was going to surprise Jamie outside the 12th and go for Greek food at one of her favorite places. Max and April were going to have a night with Grandpa Frank.

Eddie tidied up the apartment a little before heading out. While she hung up some of her clothes and Jamie's in the closets, she noticed his best suit was missing. That was a little bit odd, he only wore the three-piece grey for very special occasions and those almost always involved her. Perhaps it was at the dry cleaner.

Eddie called an Uber and headed to the 12th to surprise Jamie. He should be stepping out any minute now. When he didn't, she poked her head inside, "Officer Montgomery, have you seen Sergeant Reagan?"

"Oh, hey Detective Janko," he replied. "Yeah, he left about a half hour ago all dressed up. I thought he was going to meet you. He looked pretty sharp."

Eddie sighed, "Well, he's not meeting me, but thanks."

Eddie texted Jamie twice, and he didn't answer. The last time he let her calls go he was talking to Tom, what was he doing now?

The entire ride home, Eddie thought about it. It was her Jamie, there had to be a logical explanation for this. What they had was too special and too sacred for her to even doubt. There had to be a logical explanation…and he'd give it to her on his own…she wouldn't have to ask. They just didn't work that way.

"Okay guys turn around," Jamie encouraged the children after he finished dressing them. "Oh, you two look so cute! You are as pretty as your Mommy, April." Jamie gently traced her cheek with his finger. April gave a soft smile and giggled.

Max was dressed in a miniature version of Jamie's suit, and April in a pale blue dress with soft yellow accents. Anita had curled her baby fine hair and put a bow in it. They were having a photo taken for the children to give to Eddie for her birthday.

"You did a great job, Son," Frank praised. "They look adorable and you look so handsome. The photographer is downstairs, and I have the check for you."

Jamie arranged with Frank to make the down payment for his gift to Eddie so there would be no paper trail. She was a good cop and it would be very difficult to hide this much longer. Thankfully, Eddie's party was six days away.

"Thanks, Sharon is coming over after the portrait sitting to show me the initial sketches," Jamie told his father. "Thanks for doing this, if I tried it at the apartment Eddie would find out for sure."

Frank nodded, "Your mother was good like that too. She picked up on everything, even her baby shower wasn't a surprise."

Jamie held the kids' hands and took them down to the living room. "Sit nice and don't wrinkle," he told them. Max sat like a soldier, but April wanted to play and ran off the couch the minute Jamie turned his back. Thankfully, Frank caught her for a tickle and kept her entertained until the photographer arrived.

They must have taken fifteen different shots; some with Jamie holding the babies, some with them standing next to him. They took one of just Jamie and one of the babies holding onto each other with big wide smiles. Those two were definite.

"I'll have the proofs for you tomorrow and you can pick the pictures up as we discussed on Friday afternoon." Jamie thanked the photographer, John, and shook his hand.

Jamie took the children upstairs to change them while Frank spoke to John about a portrait for the entire family. They discussed doing it for a holiday card, where he hoped to introduce Jamie and Eddie as a couple and add April to the family tree.

Jamie had just managed to change the children and himself before Sharon arrived. John was on his way out of the Reagan home as she came in. He thought she was about the prettiest thing she'd ever seen. He made a note to contact Jamie for her number, she wasn't just pretty, he could tell from the few minutes they spoke, she was nice.

Sharon was Renzulli's wife's cousin and had met Jamie a few times before at functions for their family. She gave him a warm hug and kiss on the cheek. "You are going to love what we worked out for you. Here's the sketch…"

She handed Jamie a pencil sketch of silver earrings, they were tear drop and adored with just one crystal each. The idea was they would match her comb that she wore to all special occasions, he hoped these earrings would be the ones she would wear for all those special days.

"I love it, Dad, look." Jamie wanted Frank's opinion. "Can you do a pearl for her birthstone surrounded by the crystal? How much would that add to the price?"

Sharon did some calculations and Jamie nodded, "Go on and do it, it's for Eddie."

She made the changes and promised to have a sample ready in two days' time," It's going to be pushing it to have these at the restaurant by that Saturday, but for Uncle Tony's favorite rookie, we'll do our best."

"That's all you can do," Jamie smiled. "Thank you so much." He saw Sharon out and sat down on the couch. "Now I have to run April home, Max has a full day here and he'll be cranky. Eddie's going to be upset with me, but I have so much to do for the party and trying to do that and make sure Max…"

"Just spin in that it's best for Max and for you, she'll understand. You have too much going on and she can use some Mommy time with April too. Go on, run the princess home, I'll put Max down for the night. You have a busy day tomorrow."

Jamie put April in her car seat and headed to the apartment. Eddie was on the couch, eating ice cream right out of the carton. She was sad that her idea to surprise Jamie hadn't worked out and she was nervous about where he had been.

"Hey," Jamie called carrying a sleeping April into the house. "She fell asleep in the car so I'm going to put her down."

Eddie nodded, "Where's Max?"

"He's at Dad's," Jamie replied. "I'm actually heading back there too, Max has Gymboree really early in the morning and it's in Dad's neighborhood still. I'm going to sleep over there tonight."

"Oh," Eddie replied biting her lip. "I thought you were staying here, I went to the 12th so we could get some dinner, but you'd left already."

"Oh, yeah," Jamie replied. "I was meeting Danny, he wanted to get a couple beers and I thought you were still working, that's why April was going to be with dad."

"Oh, yeah, I guess I should have said," Eddie replied. She moved and slid her arms around Jamie, curling herself around him. Jamie's arms came up immediately to hold her close and rock her gently in his arms. "Tomorrow night honey," Jamie replied. "Both your boys will be home. It's just easier on Max until I find a nice group for him here. You know how sensitive he is."

Eddie did know, and anything that he needed was of utmost importance. "I do, I'll see you guys tomorrow night. I love you."

Jamie pecked Eddie's lips twice, "I love you too. So much."

Jamie headed for Frank's and Eddie went to get April from her crib. The baby was awake and babbling, the voices woke her from her light sleep. "Hey, precious. Oh, come see me." Eddie picked April up and held her tight in her arms. "What's going on with Jamie huh? Is he hurting Mommy? Right now, he is, but maybe not on purpose huh?"

April reached for a piece of Eddie's hair to hold while she listened to her mother. "He loves us so much and our family, Mommy's being silly, right?"

"Silly…" April echoed and looked at her Mommy. "Petty…Apil pretty dress," she told Eddie.

"You want a pretty dress? Mommy will dress you up tomorrow, we can both be pretty for dinner with Jamie and Max. You want to sleep with Mommy tonight?"

"Mommy…" April replied. "Mommy seepy…"

She was too adorable. Just too adorable, Eddie couldn't be sad with her in her arms, there was a perfectly logical explanation, there just was, and soon she would have it and all of this would be forgotten.


	120. Chapter 120

Chapter One Hundred Twenty

Jamie ran around like a chicken with his head cut off the next day. He put a deposit on the restaurant and reserved a suite at the plaza hotel for the evening of the dinner. He took Max to Gymboree then ran the little guy to place a final deposit on the cake and check out the first color makeup of the earrings. "Those look so nice, Sharon, really they do. Don't they look nice, Max?" Jamie showed the boy the picture, but he was more interested in Sharon's hair. It was long and pretty like Mommom's but a unique color. "You like Sharon's hair, Max? This is Daddy's friend."

Max nodded, "Pretty." He meant her hair, but Sharon still smiled.

"He's very charming,' She smiled at Jamie. "Here's some of the pearls that you can choose from. This one is pretty nice, it's a hint of silver to offset the comb and earrings."

Jamie selected those pearls and then navigated the traffic from Brooklyn to Queens with Max in the back seat singing the two-year-old version of Sweet Caroline. They were going to be incredibly late for dinner.

"I know honey," Eddie soothed April. "I know you're hungry baby girl. Jamie and Max will be in soon, we'll have yummy."

April clapped her hands, "Yummy!" she put her best smile on. Eddie fixed her little curls and sighed. "You are so pretty baby girl. So pretty."

"Pretty dress, Apil!" She declared, and Eddie smiled.

Finally, when it was almost bedtime for the babies, Jamie and Max finally arrived at the house. "I was worried, why didn't you call me?" Eddie asked.

"We were stuck in traffic and Max was fussing in the car, take him please I have to go to the bathroom," Jamie replied.

Eddie took Max and gave him a hug, "What were you doing? Mommom was waiting for you."

"See lady," Max told Eddie as he rubbed his eyes. "Hungee, Mommom."

"I know, sweetie, it's time to eat now, what lady did you see?" Eddie asked not liking how this felt in her gut.

"Pretty lady," Max told her and stroked Eddie's hair. "Pretty hair lady."

"Oh, you saw a pretty lady?" Eddie asked as she snuggled Max.

"Yeah, Dadee friend," Max replied. "See pretty lady hair.

Before Eddie could push things much more, Jamie returned. He gave Eddie a big kiss, 'You look pretty, did I mess up being late? Were we going out?"

"No," Eddie replied. "I thought we'd stay in."

"Oh, it smells good." Jamie was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice Eddie had cooked. "I'll help you serve it."

Jamie put April and Max in their high chairs and Eddie served a dry, over cooked chicken dinner. She barely ate a bite. "It's ruined!" she griped out loud though she thought she did to herself.

"I'm sorry, we were so busy, weren't we Max?" Jamie asked his son who was enjoying his dinner.

"Yes, bibbe Max," he told Eddie. "Go up down up down…" The little boy babbled on, Eddie listened wondering what else he might disclose.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," Jamie replied when he finally detected her disappointment. "I really lost track of how late we were running errands and the traffic…"

"It's fine," Eddie replied. "It's all fine, don't worry about it. Let's get the babies bathed and in bed. It's late for them."

Jamie pulled Eddie in for a hug, "Okay, I'll do their bath, why don't you put your feet up and relax."

Eddie took Jamie up on that, "I'll sing their lullaby and read their story, you can rock."

They had the bedtime routine down pat, and by 9pm all the kids were sleeping in April's toddler bed. Jamie paid a few bills, then got up to shower. "Coming to bed, baby?" Jamie asked softly.

"In a few minutes, 'Eddie replied. "I'll lock up sweetie."

Jamie nodded and headed to the shower. Eddie programmed the coffee for the next day, and swept up the babies' mess before going to bed. On the table she saw a receipt, $200.00 for Delmonico's restaurant the night before. The ending card number was Jamie's. Was that what he was doing? Spending time with this pretty woman... and not her? What was going on here? It made her feel sick.

"Eddie," Jamie called. "You coming to bed?"

"Coming," Eddie replied and tried to put that aside. Jamie was not Tom, he loved her and he was here with her. But if he'd do it with her…Claudia's final words to her loomed in her mind.

Jamie pulled Eddie close as soon as she laid down, "I'm sorry I let your dinner get ruined. You and April looked so beautiful tonight."

"She kept saying pretty dress, so I thought I'd give in and let her dress up a bit," Eddie replied. "She likes to do that, more of a girly girl than me."

"You're my girly girl," Jamie whispered and moved over her, kissing her softly. His hands combed over her body, touching her gently and lovingly. Eddie just couldn't, not after what she saw, she had to contemplate it and let it be, she could not get into that headspace tonight. Not at all.

"Jamie, I…No, Jamie stop," Eddie pushed him off and rolled away. "I'm not feeling well tonight."

"What's wrong, baby?" Jamie asked. "You don't have a fever."

"No," Eddie replied. 'I'm just…my stomach hurts and my head. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"That's okay, don't be sorry," Jamie said very quickly. "I'll get you some Sprite and you can rest. I'll be right back."

Jamie kissed the back of Eddie's neck then went to get her a warm soda and a cool rag for her neck. "You could have said you didn't feel well, I'd have helped more with bedtime."

"It's okay, it's stress," Eddie replied. "It's all stress, I can't…it's too much for me. I need things to be settled that's all and nothing feels settled to me."

Jamie nodded, "I'm here. I love you so much and I am here with you. It's not too long now, and I will always be here for you. Always."

Eddie wanted that to be true, but she was beginning to think it was all a lie. He wore his good suit, Max said they were with a lady that was his Daddys' friend, then the restaurant receipt. There was the mysterious woman calling on the phone…too many signs, her head knew already, her heart was the last holdout.

Jamie moved his hand up and massaged Eddie's shoulders. "Try to fall asleep, I'll rub your back, you'll feel all better in the morning." Jamie placed a gentle kiss on her temple, believing in his heart that was true. Eddie knew in her own heart she would have to talk to Jamie about his, but if she was wrong, she'd do damage to the trust…she didn't know what to do. The one thing she couldn't do was sleep.

Eddie was off the next day, she took both Max and April to their classes. She was able to leave april to play for a bit on her own, Max needed her close by when he was with new people. Jamie went to work and hooked up with Danny for lunch. "How's the party planner?" he asked.

"Good, it's going well," Jamie replied. "Eddie doesn't suspect a thing, but the kids are a little chatty and if they keep it up her wheels will be turning rapidly. The earrings look great, and the proofs will be in today. Oh, by the way, your friend John called me earlier this morning, and he wants Sharon's number so…she's cool with it."

Danny took the number and smiled, "Look at you playing matchmaker kid. You look great, you look on top of the world."

"I am, Danny, Jamie replied. "I absolutely am. I love her so much, our family is falling into place, and I'm so excited to be making this party for her. She deserves it."

"She does, putting up with you Kid," Danny joked. "I'll let you know what happens with John and Sharon. Thanks for that one."

Jamie nodded, "Oh, Danny, can you drop off those old baby dishes the boys used at the apartment in your travels. I think the kids will get a kid out of the pictures on the bowls."

"I'll drop them off on my way back, going out that way to question the widow of my latest murder vic," Danny replied. "Baez is testifying so…"

"Thanks, Danny," Jamie replied as he jogged back to his patrol car.

Eddie was just finishing feeding the kids lunch when Danny knocked. "Who is that? Let's go see…" Eddie walked the kids to the door. "It's Uncle Danny, say hi Uncle Danny!"

"Hi, Unc Donny," Max greeted and hugged Danny around the legs. "Hi!" April declared with a giant smile.

Danny picked up both kids and gave them both warm hugs. "Just wanted to drop off these dishes. "These belonged to me and Jamie and Joe when we were little, and he wanted his kids to use them when you guys fix dinner or whatever."

"Oh, that's nice, thanks so much," Eddie replied. "Did you two have a good time the other night? Who won darts?"

"Jamie and I didn't see each other for darts since…" Danny began then it clicked. He'd been Jamie's cover. "We just had rum."

Eddie sighed, Danny was a good cop but that made him a bad liar. Jamie was certainly not with Danny the other night, just another red flag that she had to address or ignore. "Oh…." Eddie replied. "Well, glad you enjoyed that then and thanks for this. Okay, kids, let Uncle Danny go, Mommy's going to put on Liberty kids."

Max clapped and almost ran to the TV to watch the show that he loved. April twirled and danced to the TV. "Apil, pretty dress," she told Edie and spun again. Eddie just laughed her off and sat down to think over this latest inconsistency.

She added it all up, the missing suit, lying about where he was, the phone call, the receipt…It wasn't making a pretty picture, but this family sure did. She looked the other way with Tom and she didn't love him, why couldn't she do that with Jamie when she did?

Jamie got home on time that night. Eddie had made ravioli and helped the kids make little cookies. Eddie gave him a welcoming hug and kiss then went back to working on dinner. "You look like you had a good day." Jamie saw the dishes on the table, "Oh good, Danny brought them. Those were my favorites when I was a kid." Jamie put his phone down and nudged the button on his visual voicemail.

Eddie reached over to get the kid's sippy cups and her eyes fell on the message. "Hey, Jamie, just called to say that woman you were with last night was smoking hot. Red hair, green eyes…oh man…"

Eddie reached for the phone to scroll down but Jamie came back in the room. "You need help with dinner?"

"No, we have it under control, but maybe you can wash the kids hands and get them ready to eat." Eddie shook off the message, Jamie was with people all day. It was not going to bother her, it was NOT happening.

The meal was a regular family affair, complete with April spilling her milk and Max painting his shirt with his sauce. Eddie tossed both kids in the tub after dinner while Jamie made a call to Sharon to check on the earrings progress.

"I'll have them for you Friday,' she promised. "I'll bring them by the 12th, Uncle Tony told me how busy you are with the party. You have one lucky fiancée."

"I love her so much," Jamie told Sharon. "She's the best mother too, so much better than…" Jamie heard Eddie's footsteps then took a deep breath. "Gotta go, talk to you soon." He hung up quickly and smiled.

"They are ready for you to read to them,' Eddie replied. "I'll straighten up here."

Bedtime that night was simple and quick. Jamie was bound and determined to hold onto Eddie that night. He was so distracted and preoccupied during the day, he wanted to spend more time together with her. "We should turn down the bed and get some sleep. Are you feeling better?"

Eddie nodded, "I am, and I think going to the bed is a good idea."

Jamie smiled, he hoped to make up for being so busy and distracted. When Eddie got into the bed, Jamie pulled her over closer. He ran his hands under her nightie, gently cupping her. Eddie rolled over and threaded her arms around Jamie's neck She was determined to put this out of her mind and give herself to him with all her heart.

 **In honor of Memorial Day and all those that have served us in the Armed Services, Police, Fire, and Emergency Services, there will be a bonus chapter posted this Monday.**


	121. Chapter 121

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-One

They matched each other touch for touch, kiss for kiss, thrust for thrust, but they both felt something was missing. To Eddie, Jamie was preoccupied and not engaged, to Jamie, Eddie was holding back. He chocked it up to them both being tired, Eddie burrowed in Jamie's arms and tried not to think about it. Jamie dropped a kiss on her head, "I love you," he whispered as he dozed off. Eddie, once again, laid awake.

The next day was business as usual in the Reagan/Janko-Manning house except for one major discovery on Eddie's part. While she was doing laundry, she found Jamie's good suit was hanging back in the closet. She sighed, had it really gone missing? Was she just imaging that? She reached for the garment and examined it, it looked just like always, except for a business card peeking out of the pocket.

Eddie took the card out and was struck by the aroma of female perfume, not her brand. She read the card, Sharon Sullivan…Sharon Sullivan didn't ring any bells for her, it wasn't someone from the 12th that's for sure. The perfume drove her crazy, that was not work perfume, that was serious perfume that you wore to make a statement or catch a man, even she knew that.

Eddie put the card back, her heart breaking, this was getting too real for her comfort. Still, while it hurt, she had resolved to let it go and continue to go about her life with Jamie and their kids, she could look the other way, and she would.

Jamie, oblivious to Eddie's suspicions, was so preoccupied with the party he didn't have a lot of energy at night. The night Eddie discovered the business card, Jamie had met with Sharon to see the metal work on the earrings. They were coming out great. She had given him a hug and now he smelled like the perfume on the card. It cinched the deal for Eddie. She went to bed early with a headache, she couldn't focus, too many things were happening.

While she cleaned up the office the following day, she found a letter from the Plaza Hotel with a reservation under Reagan, dated the night Jamie had claimed to be staying with Frank. It was the night the suit disappeared, the night he ate at DelMonico's, and now a receipt for the Plaza! He was so cost conscious with her, nickel and diming, refusing to use her money, but he'd stay at the Plaza…she didn't have a choice. She went into the babies' room where they napped, Max was looking up at Eddie with big eyes, sleepy but so happy to see her face. Eddie took him out of the crib, needing to hold him close. She put him on her lap, held him close and began to cry into his baby curly hair, sobbing her heart out. Eddie didn't even realize she was close to tears until they fell. Max's eyes welled up at the site of Eddie upset, "No cy Mommom..ssss…" He tried to comfort her but was upset himself. Eddie's heart clenched, she didn't want her little guy upset. As much as she wanted to hold him close, she regretted it now, seeing her emotion easily transfer to the tiny boy. "Mommy's sorry Maxy, Mommy's sorry," she murmured and moved to put him back down. Max had none of it, so she held him closer, and tried to soothe them both.

It was five, Jamie would be home soon, she had to get dinner ready…she had to stop crying…and soon.

Max was agitated when Jamie got home. After Eddie finished her cry and ordered their dinner, she set Max at his baby piano and April with her farm while she pulled herself together. Max wasn't interested in his piano though, he wanted to play with the farm too. April wasn't used to having to share with Max, she played by him, not usually with him. He took the cow and held it, "Moo…" April got upset and took it back.

When Jamie walked into the house it was chaos. Max was crying, April was crying, Eddie looked like she wanted to cry. Max had been affected by Eddie's emotions, he was so sensitive. When Jamie came in, Max moved to run to his Daddy, but Eddie's firm tone stopped him in his tracks. "Max do NOT get up from that stool until Mommy says. Sit down."

Jamie had never heard Eddie speak to Max that way, "What happened?"

"They had a brawl," Eddie replied. "Over the cow toy. Max took it from April, she took it back, the he threw the pig toy at her and she bit him, so they are both serving three-minute time outs."

The time buzzed, and Eddie completed the time out with hugs and kisses for both kids. "Tell April you're sorry, Max."

"Sowwy," Max sniffled and hugged April.

"April, say sorry to Max," Eddie told her daughter. She wrinkled her nose. "No…"

"April, now…" Eddie said firmly, and the child obeyed. Max ran to Jamie to be picked up.

"You did a time out? You have to share and listen to Mommy, okay?" Jamie reiterated.

"Yes," Max replied. "Mommom cry too. Mommom said, hold Max…"

"Mommom was sad that Max and April weren't behaving nicely." Jamie replied. "Off you go, help April pick up toys."

Jamie approached Eddie, "Max said you were crying? What's wrong, honey?"

"Nothing, no," Eddie replied quickly. Wasn't crying at all, I'm fine. I'm just fine."

Jamie remembered the lesson of the meaning of the word "fine." "That means you're not," he sighed. "But I love you so much, honey. So much. I'm here when you want to talk about it, or if you just want me to hold you and shut up, I can do that too."

Eddie stepped into Jamie's arms, "Hold me and shut up then," she murmured and listened to his heartbeat through his shirt.

Dinner was quiet, both kids weren't used to being punished, so they towed the line for the rest of the night. Jamie and Eddie did bed time together and slept fitfully. Jamie was anxious about the party. This had to be perfect for Eddie, she deserved it. Later that day, he was meeting Sharon to see the final product and make final payment on the earrings. They would be beautiful on Eddie, but likely lackluster next to her beauty,

Jamie got up early and showered. Eddie followed as he got Max and April ready for daycare. "I'm home Jamie, I'm not working again until Monday, you can leave him with me."

"I think I'll take him to daycare, he needs to socialize a little bit more," Jamie replied. "What if I drop both kids and you can pick up later today. You can have some time for yourself, maybe we can picnic in the park after I get off my tour."

"Sounds good, maybe I'll get a pedicure or massage or something," Eddie replied. 'That sounds like a really good idea."

Jamie started to pack up the babies, getting ready to head to work. He paused and tipped Eddie's chin up, so their eyes met. "I love you," he whispered and held her tight to his chest. Their lips met and caressed one another, Jamie knew something wasn't quite right. Perhaps his secrecy regarding the party was getting to her. Thankfully, tomorrow she would see what he'd been working on. Jamie tried to convey his love for Eddie in his kiss, and it worked. She returned his kiss with fire and held him as tight as he held her. When Jamie left, Eddie stretched out on the couch, today would be a better day.

In his haste, Jamie forgot to leave Eddie's name on the roster for her to pick-up Max. She had to take the form, and have it signed by Jamie, Danny, or Frank to retrieve him. Eddie headed the short distance to the twelfth with a hot dog, a Yoo-hoo, and the form. Just outside, she saw Jamie standing with his back to her. He was engaged in deep conversation with a tall, leggy redhead. "Pretty lady," she remembered Max telling her.

The pair were so engaged in one another that they didn't notice passersby, or even that the wind kicked up and enhanced the beauty of the woman's hair.

"They're perfect, Sharon!" Jamie exclaimed. "Except for one thing, they aren't lever back. I should have said to get lever backs but…can we fix that before tomorrow?"

"I can try, but it'll be tight," Sharon replied. "I'll bring them back and deliver them to the restaurant tomorrow."

Jamie embraced his friend with force. He opened his arms wide and fitted them to Sharon's shape, holding her flush against his body. Her long arms locked around Jamie's waist. He moved back and forth a little bit, a gentle rocking motion, and lifted upward so her feet were briefly off the ground. "Thank you so much. It has to be perfect!"

"It will be," she assured him. "It will be perfect."

Eddie turned on a heel and almost ran away from the precinct. She had the presence of mind to text Danny to pick up Max and Anita to pick up April, she had to be by herself. Everything that happened was in her head until this point, now it was reality, and she couldn't breathe.

With tears running down her face, and her heart pounding in her chest, Eddie tried to find solace in the park. She sank on a bench, hand to her chest, trying to regulate her breathing. An off-duty officer from the 12th, that recognized Eddie as a fellow officer, stopped, "Are you, all right?" she asked. "Detective Janko…"

"I…." Eddie's hands were numb, her body shaking. "I can't breathe…I…chest…"

"You have chest pain?" the young cop knelt. "We need to call a bus, it could be your heart."

Her heart, what did this young woman know about her broken heart. "No…not a bus," Eddie managed. But she had to do something.

Jamie stepped into the precinct with a smile. "How did it go? Do you have them? I want to see," Renzulli told his young Sergeant.

"They aren't ready yet, the wrong kind of backs," Jamie replied. "but other than that, they are so beautiful. Eddie is going to love them. Thanks so much for hooking me up with Sharon, she's giving me a great deal, even using real pearls."

"So that explains it," Renzulli chuckled. "That hug you gave her…If Eddie saw that you'd be in the doghouse for sure, or in the dumpster or something, she won't even give you a house."

Jamie chuckled, "I was thrilled, and she's doing the fix as a rush. They'll be delivered tomorrow, Eddie will probably wear her comb, she can match at her very own surprise party!"

Renzulli smiled, this was how he liked to see his old boot. He was just thrilled with all that had happened. Just thrilled.

The rookie eased Eddie back and held her hands. "If not a bus, then what do you think? You need help? What if I drive you to the hospital? We can call Sergeant Reagan to meet us."

"No, please, no don't' call him," Eddie begged. "Please…I…I think I'm…I think it's a heart…" She kept gasping for air and was losing her vision and her ability to speak and to think. "My doctor…he's near…"

"Okay, let's call him and I'll help you get to the doctor, okay?"

Eddie was shaking as Officer Marotta helped her stand and walked her to the car. The trip to the doctor's office was short and Eddie was taken back almost instantly.

The doctor examined Eddie, listening to her heart and lungs. "Try to lie back and breath into the bag, it's not your heart. Of that I am certain," the doctor replied. "But you'll be in real trouble if you don't watch the anxiety level and your blood pressure. Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

"No, I'm fine," Eddie sighed. "I just never felt such pain in my life, not even childbirth!"

"Anxiety attacks can feel like heart attacks and with your diet it's not much of a wonder that you were concerned about that. I'd like you to lie here for a while and rest, then get a ride home and rest there. This is nothing to fool around with."

He left the room and Eddie sighed. She couldn't call Jamie, that was the last thing she needed. What she really needed to do was think and process what had been happening, she needed to be alone for that. "The nurse can call my husband to come and get me, tell her to call Tom."

Jamie was surprised when Danny delivered Max to him at the 12th. "Hey, Buddy. Did Mommy pick you up?"

'No, Unca Danny, Max," was the child's reply.

"Eddie sent me a text, please get Max and I saw Anita getting April," Danny replied. "She said she was told directly by Eddie to take the child home, to Long Island, not the apartment and Eddie could get her there."

That was odd, Jamie thought about that as he dialed Eddie's number.

Tom hurried into the doctor's office and was shown back to where Eddie was resting. "Hey, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I had a panic attack," Eddie replied. "I didn't mean to scare you but I need to think, I need quiet to think and process some things and…"

"All right, the car is outside, April is home, we'll go back to the house, you can take the big room and rest there. If you need to talk or want to talk then that's fine as well."

Eddie smiled, she did care for Tom as a friend, and he was offering her solace right now. He slid his arms around Eddie and led her to the car. Her phone was ringing in her pocket, she let it go to voicemail.

Eddie rested for an hour before taking Jamie's call. "Where are you? Are you okay? I'm home with Max, but you're not. Why?"

"I need to…I just felt like I needed to check on things with Tom and the house, I haven't been out here for ten days and I did say I'd split my time so…" Eddie replied. "So, I'm going to spend the night here."

Jamie's heart fell, spend the night at Tom's? "We're still going out tomorrow night for your birthday, aren't we? Just the two of us? I made reservations at DelMonico's."

"Uh," Eddie bit her lip. DelMonico's. She sighed, "Yeah, of course we are. I'm just checking things here, I still have that obligation. I'll meet you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, I love you," Jamie told Eddie. "Max loves you. Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," Eddie replied. "I love you too."

The call didn't leave either one feeling better.

Tom brought Eddie a cup of hot tea, "You want to talk about it? You have a fight?"

Eddie shook her head, "I don't' know, Tom. Jamie has been keeping secrets, he's acting funny, I'm not sure if he's cheating. I don't think he is, but I didn't think you had Sue either. You didn't think I had Jamie, so I guess in this group we're not bad at cheating.'

"Well, tell me what he's doing," Tom replied. "I was good at it, not that I'm proud of it but…"

That got a laugh out of Eddie as she recounted the phone calls, the receipt, the perfumed card, and finally the hug. "It's all probably innocent but it just looked wrong and I let it get to me. I don't know if I should even confront him."

Tom thought, "What good will it do? Will you act on the information? End the relationship?"

"I don't know, I love him…and we made it work, you and me, right?" Eddie asked biting her lip.

"Well, if you don't know, give him the benefit of that doubt. See if it corrects itself, see if he mentions it to you and if he does, hear him out. You two waited a long time, I waited with Susan and life is too short," Tom advised. "But know this, we are husband and wife right now, and if your circumstances change, that won't, all right? If you want to come home, continue our marriage that option is open. Jamie loves you, I know that, but so do I."

Eddie smiled at Tom, "Thanks. You want to play a game of chess or do you have plans with Sue?"

"She's having dinner with her sister, I'll bring the board up here."

Eddie leaned back and thought about Tom's words. She wouldn't ask, she would wait and watch…or at least she'd try.

Eddie went back to the apartment about four the next day. It was Tom's night with April. Earlier that day, he gave her gift cards for a spa day from him and April. They had a nice lunch before Eddie headed back to get ready for her birthday dinner with Jamie.

She chose a black silk mini dress and a silver heeled sandal. The dress had jeweled spaghetti straps and a deep sweetheart neckline. There was a full slit down the side of the dress revealing a short yet shapely leg. It highlighted her body perfectly and she knew it.

Eddie donned a silver necklace, the silver comb, and a silver cuff bracelet. To complete the picture, Eddie put in a pair of diamond stud earrings in her ears. She stood back and checked her image, "Take that red headed lady,' she said to herself.

Eddie's heart was beating fast, she took a couple of deep breaths. She had to talk this out just one more time, she called Kara and waited.

Kara didn't pick up, she was busy at DelMonico's with Jamie fixing up the back room for the party. She didn't hear her phone go off. Jamie was climbing the wall, she should be there by now, the earrings had to be there. "Relax, Kid," Renzulli advised. "Sharon will be here, just relax. You have forty minutes until Eddie gets here."

Jamie took a breath and finished setting up the gift table. Sharon texted she was outside. "Finally, I'll be right back!" Jamie hurried out to see the earrings, glad they arrived before Eddie. Only they didn't…


	122. Chapter 122

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Two

Eddie approached the restaurant a half hour earlier than planned. When she couldn't talk things through with Kara, she called, Eddie decided to go early and have a drink at the bar before talking to Jamie. The last thing she expected to see was the love of her life, at the venue of her birthday dinner, with that same red head, she was kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear. Eddie couldn't hold it back now, the few tears were running from her eyes, she couldn't handle this, it was just too hurtful.

Kara heard the message alert go off on her phone and looked down to see nearly a three-minute voicemail from Eddie. Kara pushed play and listened to her friend, she was upset and rambling "Oh no…' Kara gasped. "Oh God…Jamie, you have to listen to this."

Jamie listened to the message, his heart lurched. He had hurt her, and he never meant to do that. As soon as she arrived, he'd hold her tight, give her the gift, and come clean about the party, the pictures, and the earrings, and then he'd hope that she would listen.

While Jamie listened to the message, Eddie turned and ran from the restaurant at full speed, nearly bowling over Renzulli and his wife, Marie. She didn't even realize it was them, she was crying and running so fast.

Renzulli sent Marie in the back and asked Jamie, "What did you do now kid? Eddie just flew past me at full speed, nearly knocked over the missus."

Jamie thought over the last five minutes, she had to have seen him with Sharon again, and with the red flags that came out, she had to be so hurt. Jamie shut the earring box and took off after her. "Eddie!" She had a pretty good head start. "Thank God for heels, he thought as he gained on her.

Eddie heard Jamie calling to her as she ran, she got winded about three blocks away and had to stop to catch her breath. That's when Jamie caught up to her. "Eddie, baby, stop, please stop!"

"Why?" Eddie turned around, she was sobbing, and the tears were pouring down her face. "So, you can humiliate me some more? So, you can laugh with your little red head?"

"Eddie, listen to me, that was nothing," Jamie insisted. "It was nothing, Eddie, none of it meant anything. Please hear me, please give me a minute to explain this, just one minute."

"No, not a minute, Jamie, I'm not going to let you lie to me!"

"Eddie, I have never lied to you and I won't start now," Jamie replied. "We have had seven years together, I think that it's worth one minute."

Eddie sighed, "One minute," she said firmly.

"Sharon is not the other woman, I could never love another woman more than you. You are my soul mate, the light of my lift, the woman I measure all the others by," Jamie replied. "Sharon is Renzulli's cousin, and a very gifted jeweler. I hired her, she was working for me."

While he was explaining, Jamie was tenderly taking Eddie's diamond studs out of her ears and inserting the new silver and pearl drops with lever backs. "Making you earrings to match your comb."

Jamie turned Eddie to look in a nearby store window, she couldn't make out the details but it was clear that Jamie had gifted her with beautiful new earrings. "And, back at the restaurant, is another present for you. Sharon and the friend of Danny's that helped with that gift are going on their first date tonight, she was thanking me for helping her meet him. That's all it was. I'm so sorry you got hurt baby," Jamie whispered and wiped her tears. "I promise I won't keep secrets from you again. I don't ever want to see this look on your face again."

Eddie was sobbing uncontrollably, "I overreacted...but I saw the receipts from Delmonico's and the Plaza...heard that phone call, then you said you were with Danny and he told me weren't, I smelled her perfume on your clothes, saw you holding her outside the 12th then again tonight. Even my Max told me about her!

Eddie sniffled, "I should have talked to you, I should have trusted you more, I tried so hard to talk myself out of it. I guess my own guilt…" Eddie reached up and framed Jamie's face with her hands. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry…"

Jamie slid his arms around Eddie and pulled her in tight and close to him, rocking her on the street corner and softly kissing her lips.

"God Eddie, I didn't realize. Those things altogether are so damning, I'm sorry I put you through that. I should've realized there's no fooling a great detective like you," Jamie smiled softly.

Eddie returned his gentle kisses and slid her arms around Jamie's waist. They stood holding and kissing one another for a good ten minutes before Jamie smiled, "There's more where those earrings came from and I'm starving. What do you say? Dinner?"

"I'd be delighted, but I need to freshen up first," she replied and looped her arm in with Jamie's.

They headed to the restaurant and through the back entrance for Eddie to use the ladies room by that back office. A soft kiss waited for her when she returned, she took his breath away. She stood before him in a form fitting silk dress, his silver comb in her hair was complemented by her beautiful new earrings. Eddie's smile was infectious. Truth be told, Jamie thought long and hard about skipping the party and going straight to the Plaza.

"Okay, here they come, everyone be quiet!" Renzulli ordered. The entire room got quiet and waited for Jamie to bring Eddie through the door.

At first, all Eddie saw an empty room and a table full of gifts, then suddenly, all her friends and family erupted from behind a curtain. "Surprise!" Eddie began to cry again.

Eddie was the life of the party once she settled down from the shock. Jamie had gone all out for this party. April and Max were there, dressed to the nines. When April saw her mother come in, she broke free from Linda and ran to her proclaiming, "Apil pretty dress!"

"Is that what she meant?" Eddie laughed. "You got her a new dress for this?"

"Actually," Jamie replied, picking April up to hold her. "I got her a new dress for this, Dad, will you please?"

Frank pulled the sheets off the three portraits Jamie had taken, in the center was one of Jamie holding Max and April one on each knee, and on either side was the picture of just Jamie in his beset suit and the picture of the babies hugging. April was wearing the same blue dress she had on now.

"I had those taken the night that I slept in Brooklyn,' Jamie explained. "I had to put the deposits down and do a lot of running near Bay Ridge early in the day. I hope you like it."

Eddie showed her appreciation for Jamie's thoughtful gift by bestowing a soulful kiss on his lips. Jamie pulled her in close and swayed, neither one cared there was a room full of people. Danny's smile reached his eyes seeing his little brother so happy.

They passed appetizers and flutes of wine around the back of the restaurant. The DJ played easy listening and Italian standards as the party moved all around. Both Eddie and Jamie were only fixated on each other, everyone else ceased to exist. Neither one could wait to get to their own party at the Plaza later that night.

Just before cake, Jamie made a toast, "To Eddie, the best partner a cop could ask for, the best woman a man could ask for, and the best friend anyone could ask for, my life would not be complete without you in it. You shine like a star on the horizon for me every single day. Happy Birthday, Eddie. To Eddie!"

The room echoed his sentiment then sent cheers to Eddie for her 32nd birthday.

"He's looking at me again," Kara whispered to Eddie as they feasted on cake. "How is he even here?"

"He's in town for the Commissioner's conference and Jamie invited him. They had some classes together in Montana. Go talk to him, you're separated now, you are totally fine to talk to him. And he's cute!"

Before Kara had a chance to react, Luke was approaching her. She admired him, he was tall but not overly so, built, but slender, different from Matt. His skin had an olive tone, and his eyes reminded her of her favorite chocolates, deep brown and glistening. "Hello, Kara," he smiled "Do you remember me from Montana?"

Kara smiled. "Yes, I do. Nice to see you again."

"I was wondering if you'd care to dance with me," he drawled, his western accent so appealing to a New York girl.

Eddie nodded her encouragement, "Go on…"

Kara nodded, "I'd be delighted to dance with you, Luke." Kara took his hand and let him lead her onto the floor.

The party was still going on at 10 that night. Max and April were sound asleep, side by side, in the booth near Frank. Eddie had taken off her shoes and was dancing barefoot with Kara and some of her other friends. Baker helped Linda pack up the gifts to go to the apartment, Jamie sat with Danny and Renzulli, watching Eddie from afar.

"You look like you can't wait to get her alone, Kid," Danny remarked. "So, go take her home, leave me your card and go take her home."

Jamie nodded and handed his credit card to Danny. He stood up, whispered to the DJ, then moved toward Eddie with catlike grace. He reached his arms around her and spun her in a circle until she was facing him. Their song began to play, Jamie led Eddie in a gentle sway. "Thank you so much for this party. I'm so glad…"

Jamie held Eddie tighter, "Me too, I'm glad it all worked out. I hope that you had fun."

"I had fun," Eddie replied. 'But I do think I'm ready to move onto the next part of the surprise. A suite at the Plaza, where a proper thank you awaits."

Eddie's hand stroked Jamie's cheek, and their lips met. "Let's go…your chariot awaits."

Eddie and Jamie made short work of leaving the party, sliding out the back, holding one another close. Jamie drove them to the Plaza then checked them into their suite. They held hands going upstairs and getting into the room. Jamie had left an overnight bag at the hotel earlier that day with toiletries and a change for them both.

Back at the party, Luke and Kara sat at a table in the back, sipping wine. "My wife loved to dance, that was how we met, at a ball room dancing class."

"I see," Kara replied. "What happened there? If you don't mind…."

"No, I don't," Luke replied. "You told me all about your divorce, which I'm glad is going so well. She died, it was a car accident, very bad. Her car skidded on the ice, they didn't' have a chance?"

"The other driver died as well?" Kara asked to clarify, but something in Luke's eyes told her that wasn't the meaning.

"No," Luke replied. "Our son, Kyle, he was four. He…at the scene of the accident. My wife died a few hours later in the ER. The doctors said his death had nothing to do with her loss, but I think it did. We didn't tell her he was gone, she was too hurt, but she knew. She made me promise her to find love again, to move on…she'd take care of our boy…" Luke swallowed hard.

"I'm so sorry," Kara murmured. "My two boys are the world to me, I can't imagine the pain."

"It's a deep wound," Luke admitted "And it scabs over but never truly heals. Still, I do want to move on with my life, honor their memory."

The entire room could have gotten up and walked out and neither Kara nor Luke would have noticed it. They were totally engrossed in one another, it was an intensity Luke was used to, and one that scared Kara to death. Where was her best friend when she needed her? At the Plaza having the time of her life, that's where...


	123. Chapter 123

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Three

Jamie turned Eddie to him and stood back to admire her form. He licked his lips at the delicate lines of her body, the way the dress showed just enough. He reached out with both hands and placed them on her hips. Jamie tugged her so that their bodies were flush and simply held her in his arms. He wanted her, there was no doubt, his body was already stirring with need, but he didn't want to rush this. He wanted it to be special.

Jamie began to hum their song and sing lightly and slightly off key. "And I think to myself what a wonderful girl…" he improvised.

Eddie blushed and tucked her head under Jamie's chin as they swayed.

"Why don't you go into your bag and slip into something in there, we'll be comfortable and we'll…" Jamie kissed Eddie's lips.

"What else did you do?" Eddie asked.

"Anita did this one," Jamie replied, "Go on, get comfy."

Inside the bag, was Eddie's favorite lacy nightie, the most comfortable one she owned, the one she bought for their first "Christmas" in Montana. Her face lit up with a smile.

Pinned on the front of the robe was a note in Anita's precise handwriting. "Happy Birthday, Mrs. Eddie. I am truly blessed to know you and feel so lucky to be able to watch such a wonderful couple grow from love. It's every woman's dream to have a man love her as much as your Jamie loves you. You deserve it Mrs. Eddie. Love Anita."

If Jamie's tenderness all day hadn't brought her to tears that did. "She made this, the stitches are so delicate."

Jamie smiled, "She wanted to do something really special, I told her anything would be."

Eddie blushed and fingered the soft material. Jamie looked up at her, "You want to take a soak? I know how you love bubble baths. Why don't' I make you a bubble bath?"

"Make us a bubble bath," Eddie replied. "That would be lovely. I'll wait to change until…" They both knew that nightgown wasn't going on until morning.

Jamie used the bubbles from the hotel to make the bath, they smelled like lilacs. He stood outside the tub to hand Eddie into the steamy water. He slid in behind her and they held onto one another tight. It had been nearly a week and since Jamie recovered from pneumonia, they hadn't spent that much time apart.

"I missed you," Jamie whispered. "I know that was on me, I just really…"

"Stop," Eddie murmured. "Please stop. You made a lovely day for me, I couldn't have asked for more than this. If you want to keep a secret to make another night like this, I'll forgive you when you're done." Eddie turned her head slightly and opened her lips in invitation.

Jamie took her up on it, licking his lips to moisten them before sealing his over hers. The kiss was gentle, tentative and seeking. Eddie felt the same shock that she felt when she first touched her lips to Jamie's outside her apartment such a long time ago. She inhaled his scent and in doing that, pulled his tongue into her mouth. The tips touched tentatively, tasting delicately, not much heat, not much rush, not yet.

Eddie turned gracefully so her chest touched Jamie's. She slid her arms around his middle and held on as they took their time in kissing one another. "You know," Jamie whispered. "I dreamt of that kiss for months after. I wish that I did take you up to your apartment that night, I wish that I made love to you a million times more than I have done."

"We have our whole lives to make up for that," Eddie murmured gently. "No regrets, not at all, no regrets."

Jamie stroked her back and cuddled her tight, "I will always have one, that you were hurt by the choices I made. I will always regret that, Eddie. Your pain is too high a price."

Eddie gently kissed Jamie's lips again, "Today is a joyful day. A celebration of life…our life together."

The took their time soaking in the bathtub, touching each other, pecking each other, enjoying each other. When the water ran cold Jamie handed Eddie out of the bathtub and held her wrapped in a warm, white towel. Eddie tilted her head back and opened her mouth to gently speak. Jamie captured her lips before she could. He stooped and lifted her into his arms carrying her, both of their bodies still wet to the bed.

With care, he set her down on her feet and unwrapped the towel as if it was gift wrapping, and he was receiving a treasured gift. Eddie allowed Jamie to free the material from around her body. Their eyes met and their gazed locked, in a way, it was as if they were seeing each other for the first time.

He could feel her supple body, the warmth of her, and his heart hammered in his chest. He throbbed, aching for her warmth, he wanted to kiss every inch of her silken skin. He remembered their first time, he'd ached for her then as he did now. He lowered his head and took her lips, slid his tongue along her teeth and into the recesses of her mouth.

She returned his gesture, matching his kiss and his hold. Her hair spilled over his hands as he held her. She easily yielded, standing still while he bent over her until she wrapped her arms around him. He thrust his tongue deep, wanting her warmth and fire, drowning in her passionate responses.

His hands came up to cup her soft, full breasts. He felt on fire with need. He ran his thumbs over her taut nipples, bending his head to kiss her, aware of her soft moans, of her hands playing over his shoulders and back. He kissed each breast, feeling her tremble. His pulse roared in his ears. His erection was hard, throbbing, and he felt he would burst. "Eddie," he whispered. "I want you."

He slid his fingers along her skin, relishing in the silky softness there. His gaze roamed over her bare breasts and she was torn between reaching for him and letting him continue his exploration.

She couldn't breathe as she looked at him, he was aroused and ready for her. She closed her eyes, her hands roaming over him as he kissed her breast, his tongue trailing over her stomach. Jamie began caressing her legs and stomach. He laid her down on the bed, and picked up her foot, kissing a path upward between her legs. "You're so soft," he whispered. "I've dreamt about you, Eddie. You can't imagine how much I've missed you," he said, his voice a rasp. He kissed her inner thigh, his hands moving in feather touches.

She was on fire as his tongue flicked over her moist warmth. She gasped, moved her hips, her hands winding in his hair. "Jamie, please. Oh, please," she whispered, pulling him closer, raising her hips to meet him, feeling his tongue washing over her.

Jamie's heart pounded against his ribs. He felt he would burst with need for her, yet he wanted to take his time with her and for her. Her skin was softer than anything. He wanted to know every inch of her, to love her and to drive her to a frenzy. Finally, he couldn't wait as her hand caressed him. He was on his knees between her thighs. She gazed down at him, her golden hair spread on the pillow, her eyes dark with passion. "Eddie," he whispered, unable to say more as she raised her slender arms to him.

He was hot, hard, ready for her. Eddie closed her eyes, he hands sliding over his strong shoulders. This man was all she ever wanted. He made her nearly faint with passion, made her tremble with his touch.

He thrust into her, his voice a whisper in her ear, "Eddie, love, you're mine, always…"

She clung to him, sliding her hands over his body, relishing the flat planes and smooth contours, the silky feel of his bare back and firm buttocks as she tugged at him and raised her hips to meet him. "Jamie, I want you,' she whispered and then thought spun away as he plunged deeper and thrust slowly.

She felt caught, impaled. A surging need made her move her hips and added need to need, building while her pulse roared, and she heard his raspy breathing. And beneath it all, while sensation rocked her, and she clung to him and rose to meet him, she was aware of his soft, deep voice, "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie," he murmured.

Then all sound was gone, anticipation vanished, replaced by consuming desire until he shuddered, his heat spilling inside of her. She held him tightly, wracked with spasms, ecstasy came. The roaring in her ears faded and the blinding light behind her close eyes vanished as she relaxed.

His body was heavy on her and he raised his head to kiss her damp forehead. He shifted, brushing tendrils of hair away from her face. She touched his lips with her fingertips, smiling up at him, looking into his eyes and seeing the same love mirrored in his expression that she felt in her heart. Her smile vanished as he groaned and wrapped her in his arms to crush her to his chest. She clung to him, her ear pressed to his heated flesh, hearing the steady thud of his heartbeat, wishing she could hold him this way forever and never have to let him go. Her fingers drifted down over his back and hip to his thigh where rough curls tickled her palm. His body was a marvel and she blushed as she caressed him, wanting to touch him all over, still aching to have him as close to her, as much a part of her being as possible.

"I'm not sure anyone has ever been so much in love," Jamie murmured as he held Eddie close and tight to his chest.

I have to agree, when you recognize your soulmate, it's all consuming." Eddie replied. "Did you see Kara and Luke dancing? I recognize that look."

"Yes, I did see, and they seemed to be very happy and connected already." Jamie replied, "He's a nice guy, I like him a lot."

"I think Kara likes him a lot too," Eddie replied. "In fact, she was looking at Luke the way I look at you, and he was looking at her the way you look at me. Their souls are connected Jamie, just like ours. Two old souls, falling deeply in love with each other."

"I hope you are right, love like that is just so deep and abiding, to know that one person has your back, has your faith, they have you in their heart and soul, to know that…it's just amazing to me. Kara did so much for us, she deserves it."

"Well, maybe we can help move it along a little bit," Eddie suggested.

"Oh, Eddie, no matchmaking…"

"Not matchmaking, just a double date, the four of us before Luke goes back to Montana," Eddie suggested as she yawned, suddenly tired.

Jamie sighed, "Okay, it's your birthday, so okay." Jamie tipped his head to kiss Eddie's head. She hadn't heard him agree, she was already asleep.


	124. Chapter 124

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Four

Eddie woke up as the soft fingers of dawn brushed across the bedsheets. Jamie laid on his back, still sound asleep. He didn't move when Eddie slid out of the bed to wriggle into her sexy nightie or when she crawled on the bed to lie next to him. He only stirred when Eddie began to trail soft kisses along his jaw.

Jamie sighed and smiled, "Hey, pretty girl. That's one way to wake up. You look beautiful, with the sun on your hair."

Jamie opened his lips and returned Eddie's kisses. He could never get enough of loving her, of feeling her near him, and neither could she. As Jamie's hand caressed Eddie's through her nightie he slid two fingertips under the straps and slid the garment off her delicate shoulders, pushing the material so it bared her body to his view. Gently and with a deliberate slowness, they touched, nuzzled, kissed, and caressed each other.

She was in his arms, her heart feeling as if it would pound through her chest, while she ran he hands over Jamie and clung to him, wanting to kiss and hold him forever.

His kisses were searing as he dreamt of so many nights when they were forced to be apart, now they were so real, he devoured her as he thrust his tongue deep into her mouth and crushed her to him.

His eyes held her gaze, the hungry expression in them making her pulse race as he pushed her to the mattress moving between her legs. He thrust into her softness as he pulled her to him. Sobbing with joy, wanting him desperately, Eddie wrapped herself around him, clinging to his hard body while they moved lazily. She felt consumed, and she wanted to be part of him. She felt as if she spun into dizzying darkness and then wave after wave of sensation washed over her, ecstasy pounding her.

"Eddie, my love," Jamie cried, kissing her deeply, passion engulfing him.

She began stroking his back as she was lost in blinding waves as she held him tightly and cried out, "Jamie, please, oh, Jamie!"

They moved together, climax ripping through them both. She held him tightly and ran her hands over him, continually reassuring herself that he had finally come home to her, that this was real and that they would have many more nights and mornings just like these.

He kissed her temple, trailing kisses to her ear, to her throat, enjoying the feel and taste of her.

They kissed and whispered lazily for hours before rising and ordering room service.

Jamie ordered eggs, pancakes and bacon with orange juice and coffee setting it up in front of Eddie on the bed. "Your favorite," he whispered.

Eddie smiled and kissed Jamie's chin. "Thank you so much for a beautiful birthday. And it looks like Kara is going to go for our double date idea. I just texted her. Text Luke and see if he wants to go, we can go to Sullivan's." Eddie was beaming, she wanted her best girl friend to have the same love she shared with Jamie.

Jamie only smiled "So this guy she's going out with have you met him? Does she know him a long time?" The question came out casual, but Jamie was suspicious.

"So, Kara really likes him huh?" Jamie knew it was true, but he liked to see Eddie beaming with joy over Eddie's happiness for Kara.

"Yeah, she does," Eddie replied. making a sandwich of the pancakes and bacon. "I don't know his whole story, but she is really positive about seeing him again. Text him and see if he's solid for going out tomorrow night before he goes back to Montana." Jamie obliged texting Luke, "Hey, heard you and Kara hit it off. She's up to double, are you?"

A text came back almost immediately, "if it means seeing Kara again I'm all for it. She's so great. Let me know the when and where and I'll be there for sure."

They chose Sullivan's the next night at 6PM. Luke was on a late-night flight, they would meet to say goodbye. "We have to do darts and beer pong!" Eddie replied. "Let me tell Anita, make sure she can keep April. Does she need to keep Max, or can your Dad do it?"

"I'm sure my dad won't mind watching max for the night, but I'll call and ask anyway," though Jamie was certain Frank wouldn't object to seeing his grandson.

With the double date set, and the babysitting secure, Jamie and Eddie kicked back and smiled. They had two hours left before they had to check out. Eddie sat on Jamie's lap and put her head on his shoulder. "32...officially 32 now, I was born at 11:57pm so most of the party I was still 31."

Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek gently smiling brightly at her "Happy birthday Eddie, officially. "

"I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry about yesterday, about my getting so upset and making a scene," Eddie replied. "You were trying to make it special and I…"

"Don't' worry about it honey," Jamie replied. "I'm sorry you got hurt, the last thing I would ever want is to hurt you. I shouldn't have been quite, so secretive."

"I could have been way more trusting," Eddie replied. "Are we good?"

Jamie smiled and kissed her softly, "We're good. We are better than good. But we do have to discuss this double date thing. Kara's divorce isn't final yet, Luke has some kind of past, I think if they are going to come together we need to let nature take its course, not push…"

"No, not push, but if we let nature take its course with us, we'd still be apart," Eddie replied.

"True," Jamie sighed. "Still, we get them together, they get married, they get divorced, the both end up hating us!"

"Or they won't hate us," Eddie laughed. "It might just be a fleeting attraction, but we won't know if we don't give them the opportunity, he's so far away Jamie."

Jamie slid his arm around Eddie and kissed her head, "Okay, but let's just put them together and let nature take its course. No pushing okay? No pushing."

"All right," Eddie agreed. "All right, we'll keep things as they are then. It'll be fun. For now, though…we have one hour left. Let's…"

Eddie smiled. "I'll meet you on the balcony."

Jamie, Eddie, and Kara arrived at Sullivan's to find Luke waiting. He was in a pair of jeans that showed off his slender, yet muscular build. "Oh, he looks so good, I can't do this…" Kara got nervous.

"Yes, you can," Eddie encouraged. "He saw you from across a crowded room and picked you out from how many women. He's already smitten with you, Kara, you just have to seal the deal now."

Kara took a breath, "Okay, last looks. What do you think?"

"You are ready, you are fabulous…and he's coming this way with a big smile so work it girl" Eddie held Jamie back so that Kara and Luke could get to say hello alone.

"You look so pretty," Luke greeted. "I got these for you, but it'll be hard inside…" He handed Kara a bouquet of Gerber daisies, her favorite flower.

"We know the bartender, I'm sure he'll put them in water for us, thank you so much. Kara gently kissed Luke's cheek.

"Looks good so far," Eddie smiled and closed the gap.

They ordered wings and spinach dip to go with their beers then kicked off the fun with a game of darts. "Okay, singles darts and top two and bottom two pair up to sing…"

"I need to sing with you, Eddie," Jamie laughed. "You are the only one that can carry a tune at this table."

"I beg to differ," Luke piped up. "I have a bit of a voice, pretty fair in living rooms, we'll have to see what the game brings."

Jamie liked Luke, he was funny and very engaging, and he was a pretty good at darts, but not as good as Eddie. Jamie spend more time watching Eddie shoot her darts than he did focusing on his own game. Eddie easily took second place to Luke, Kara and Jamie tying for a distant third.

Sweet Caroline! That's a good one for you to do Jamie," Eddie replied. "You can just let loose like when you do "We Are the Champions"

Eddie didn't want Jamie to look foolish when he was up there singing, he could not carry a tune in a bucket. "Kara will keep you on track and Luke and I will cream the two of you." Eddie leaned over and gave Jamie a big kiss on the cheek. "But I'll still love you."

"You better." Jamie's arms came around Eddie. He kissed her deeply momentarily forgetting that Luke and Kara were there. They both looked away, not wanting to break into their friends bubble. Jamie pulled back after a minute and touched his forehead to Eddie's.

Eddie brought her hand up to caress Jamie's cheek. "Okay, sounds good to me. What are you and Luke going to sing?"

"Because of You," Eddie replied. "Nothing like a little Reba!"

Luke smiled and looked at Eddie, "Amen to that. You can to flip to see who goes up first?"

Jamie flipped a Kennedy Half Dollar and Luke called "tails."

"Tails, Luke and Eddie go first, "Jamie replied. "Good luck, sweetheart."

Eddie smiled and took the stage with Luke. Eddie belted out the song, while Luke's voice was more of a croon. They matched each other very well all in all. Jamie watched his Eddie sing, beaming with pride at how well she really did.

"Next up, we have Jamie Reagan and Kara Walsh with Sweet Caroline…again the applause will determine tonight's winner."

Eddie and Luke cheered so loud they almost caused Jamie and Kara to win by their sheer enthusiasm. Kara was able to hear the tones in the music, but Jamie…he did his best drunker frat boy impression and won applause on looks alone.

Eddie threw her arms around him when he came off the stage. "You did good, you looked so handsome…" They started to kiss again. This time Kara and Luke didn't look embarrassed, they smiled each hoping that could be them some day.

They ordered burgers and another pitcher of beer. Kara and Eddie kept eyeing the pool table, they knew it was a good way to have fun, playing a game of pool with two handsome men. Kara took the lead this time, "Okay, guys against the girls, losers buy the next round of drinks."

Jamie and Luke slid the pool sticks down handing them to the ladies while Eddie set them up. His eyes twinkled watching Eddie smirking slightly.

Eddie claimed the break as the female winner of the karaoke contest and make a point of showing her assets as she leaned over the table.

Shaking his head Jamie watched very carefully grinning at her form, the smile fading as Eddie managed to get two solids into the pocket.

The game quickly became tight. Jamie sank two balls, then Kara sank one and Luke another two. When things were looking tight, Eddie looked at Kara. It was time for the big guns.

Giving her friend a nod and wink Kara went around to Luke while Eddie took her turn. Eddie missed the shot, but that was okay for her. Jamie lined up his shot, Eddie walked behind him and brushed her stomach on his behind. The cue ball skipped across the felt and landed on another table.

"Hey, you're cheating," he accused turning around to face her knowing that would distract him. His eyes moved to Kara looking for help.

Kara wasn't quite as overt as Eddie, she smiled at Luke when he took his turn, that was enough. Eddie cuddled to Jamie, "Maybe, but I miss you."

"Yeah I'm sure you do you are not playing fair," he smiled leaning in close until their lips were inches apart. "Two can play at that game."

"I wish you would..." Eddie leaned her head back and let Jamie take a deep kiss. The entire time Kara and Luke were watching them, they wanted to kiss, each one knowing it wasn't the right time.

They pulled apart Jamie going to the table for his turn keeping an eye on eddie grinning at her as he did. This time, just as he released the ball, she smiled at him, "Love you handsome..." He missed the shot again. Jamie made a face at her seeing that she wasn't going to give up, this meant war.

When it was Eddie's turn again, Jamie tickled her sides. She burst into laughter but sank both her balls anyway. "Hey how'd you do that," he sighed shaking his head in amazement forced to think of another strategy.

"I have my ways..." Eddie ran her finger across his cheek. "Let's finish so we can go home...okay?"

"Sounds good to me," Jamie smirked a bit as Luke stepped to the table for his turn. He turned toward Eddie, "So I think we need to discuss what you want to do at home."

"What we did last night in the hotel sounds good to me,' Eddie replied. Luke missed his shot, Eddie turned it up and sank that last three balls to win the game for the gals. Jamie and Luke gladly sprung for the drinks.

Jamie slid his arms around Eddie and led her out of the bar. Kara and Luke followed. "Well, I guess I better get going. I'll get an Uber to the airport. This was fun."

"I could drive you to the airport Luke," Kara offered waving a little more time together.

Eddie smiled, "Good move girl," she thought. Luke smiled and nodded, "I'd like that."

Kara smiled at her turning to say goodbye to Eddie and Jamie, exchanging a silent look with Eddie. "See you guys soon."

"I'll call you," Kara told Eddie and got in the car with Luke. "So, what did you think of a New York cop bar?"

"It wasn't anything like I've ever seen back home," he chuckled. "Definitely Interesting but it was fun especially getting to see you."

Kara smiled, "that's really nice of you to say." She navigated the roads to the airport easily and parked to walk Luke in. He was so handsome, and she wanted to kiss him, but his story was so tragic, she didn't want to blow it.

"Thanks for the lift I really appreciate it. This was fun getting to see you," Luke turned around to face her smiling.

Kara nodded, "You have my number and my email, go ahead and call me when you'd like" Luke smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek before heading to security Kara stood there to watch him and was surprised when he turned from the line and headed back to her with purpose. Luke caught Kara in his arms and kissed her deeply

Kara smiled leaning up meeting his lips closing her eyes. "Call me," her voice was low.

"I will," Luke promised and sealed it with another soft kiss.


	125. Chapter 125

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Five

Two days later, Eddie and Kara sat at their favorite coffee spot, "So tell me everything."

Kara smiled, "about what?" She lifted the coffee cup for a drink.

"Luke of course," Eddie laughed you seemed to be crazy for him."

Kara smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "Yeah I am actually he's a really sweet guy."

"And handsome too," Eddie's replied. "What happened when I left?"

"Well I took him to the airport and he said he had a good time hanging out...he started to walk away then came back and kissed me..." Kara smiled.

"Oh yay! Eddie clapped. "You deserve a really good man Kara. I know Matt was a good husband, but you didn't love him that way and he didn't love you that way either. I've lived that lie, I don't want it for you."

Kara smiled, "It was nice with Matt, but with Luke, it feels like…"

"Like you can't breathe and the only thing you want to do is be closed up in his arms for the rest of your life. That nothing else matters but him and you...and your boys. I know how that feels."

Kara glanced her friend giving a slow steady nod. "Yeah that's it exactly, is that how you feel around Jamie?"

"Yes," Eddie replied. "On my best day, I want him to be with me and on my worst day as well I just want him to hold me. No matter what is happening, I feel better when he's holding me."

The description gave Kara an eerily familiar feeling. "Yeah except Luke is back in Montana now. He promised to call though and email."

"Good, you two get to know each other,' Eddie told her. "The one thing I really learned with Jamie is to follow my heart, if that meant I had to move to Montana or Canada, or Bismarck, North Dakota, I'd be there. Don't rule anything out."

"If it meant being with him yeah I would as much as I love being a cop here. I may text him later see how he is," Kara lifted her cup again.

"Good, you keep in touch, you both have to," Eddie encouraged. "You both have to keep it going if you are going to make it work. I'm concerned for the next couple of days with Jamie. Tom wants to have dinner the night before his surgery, which they just bumped up. The operation is now two days before Max's party."

Kara's eyes moved to her friend, "That's really close have you told Jamie yet? How are you going to do both?"

"I don't know for sure," Eddie replied. "No, I didn't tell him yet, he was against the size of the party to start with. I'll talk to him later." Kara took another sip of her coffee, "You can't miss that party, Eddie. You really can't."

"I know Kara, trust me, I don't want to miss it either, but I have to be there for Tom' s surgery. I'll figure someway to be there Jamie would be hurt if I didn't come," Eddie sighed.

"Not just Jamie," Kara replied. "Let Sue sit with him, I'll sit with him, you have to be at that party Eddie." Eddie nodded, she wouldn't miss her Max's party for the world.

Eddie crawled onto the bed with Jamie later that night, "Max had a hard time going down."

"How come? He just didn't want to or?" Jamie cuddled her immediately.

"I think he might be working on one of his molars, he just didn't want to let go of me," Eddie replied. "But he finally gave up." She laid her head on Jamie's chest. "Might be my stress too."

"Your stress," Jamie held Eddie close to his body kissing the top of her head gently. "What's wrong, Eddie, do you need to talk?"

"Tom's surgery, Eddie replied. "They moved it up three days, it's two days before Max's party."

Jamie stated at her trying to think of what to say. "Oh, Eddie, I…" He wanted to know if she was still coming without being insensitive.

"I won't miss Max's party for the world, he's my son, but it just can't be easy, why can't something be easy."

"We wish just once in a while right?" Jamie sighed kissing her temple knowing how disappointed Max would be if Eddie wasn't at his party.

"I want to make sure the photographer gets plenty of pictures of Max on the pony ride and we have to make sure that he does the family picture to go with the ones you did for my birthday. I might be busy doing another part of the party when Maxy is on the pony." Eddie wanted it to be perfect.

Jamie gave a quiet nod listening to her feeling slightly down that Eddie might not be able to go. "I'll ask him beforehand."

"Good, I know he's good, he took those beautiful pictures you gave me for my birthday," Eddie replied with a smile.

Returning the smile Jamie absently rubbed his fingers over Eddie' s soft hand staring ahead past her.

Before Eddie could address the awkward moment, Max began to call her.

"Mommom...Mommom. Max..." Eddie sighed. "Going to be one of those nights. I'll be back soon." Eddie gave Jamie a kiss on the cheek and rolled out of bed to get their little boy.

With Eddie gone Jamie rolled over able to show his disappointment as he lay on his side. The party wouldn't be the same if Eddie couldn't come. He could hear Eddie singing to Max, trying to settle the boy down. She was a magical mother, so tender, so loving. He wasn't going to make this hard for her, he would be supportive of her, she would be in his place.

"I think he's down for the count now," Eddie sighed sliding into bed with Jamie. "What is this grin on your face?"

"Just, being with you today watching you shoot pool it made me remember the first time we did, do you remember?" Jamie wrapped his arms around her.

"Do I?" Eddie laughed. "You were so mad, those cops from the 35 were on our case, they were making jokes about me being short and having boobs...it was so bad...and you said I bet you we'll beat you at pool. If we win, you take it back. You were so strong that day, such a protector even then."

Jamie smiled, "Yeah but you didn't let it bother you either. You were so confident we'd win, and we did. Remember what happened after?"

"You got drunk," Eddie laughed. "We toasted each other, and that one cop hit on me. He apologized but he hit on me. And you let him...you stood back and just watched us."

"I don't remember that. Anytime someone flirts with you I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I do remember walking you home."

"You put your arm around me, and you said that you were glad we got paired up, that you thought it was going to be a great friendship," Eddie remembered. "And I remember my heart sank, because I already felt such a deep connection to you."

Jamie leaned in whispering, "Me too but we were partners and I didn't want to rush things with you, but I couldn't see you riding with anyone else."

"I know," Eddie replied. "I know and we both could have spoken up sooner. Still, what we have here is pretty darn good."

"Yeah it is," Jamie kissed her cheek. "It worked out, but I knew that night especially when you got cold and I wrapped my jacket around you."

"Your scent, it warmed me. It helped me, I just loved it so much...That feeling. I knew, somewhere deep inside I knew this would happen one day," Eddie murmured.

"Me too it all started as partners and look at us now," Jamie's eyes twinkled meeting hers.

"I loved you from that first moment, I loved how you moved, I loved how you smelled, I loved the essence of you and now...Now I can't get enough."

Jamie grinned, "really," he pulled her closer reaching an arm around her back trapping her while rubbing his fingers along her side.

"Really," Eddie replied, loving the feel of his fingers on her skin. "Can I ask you something Jamie?"

"Hmm yeah of course Eddie anything." Jamie's eyes met hers.

"Make love with me, I want you to love me..." Eddie whispered. She didn't wait for him though, she began to kiss him immediately. He was happy to oblige.

"Do you have everything you need?" Eddie asked Tom as she helped him check into the hospital the day before his surgery.

"I think so," he replied. 'You and Anita were quite efficient at packing. The only thing I'll miss is cuddling with my little angel. She's too young to be here."

"She is, but as soon as you feel well enough I'll bring her and you can hold her," Eddie assured. "Now what is this packet about?"

"Legal papers," Tom replied. "Trust funds for April, allowance for you, the company holdings. These papers leave everything in your control as Mrs. Manning."

"Tom, what about Sue, I mean, she's the one that you…"

Tom stopped Eddie and touched her face. "I married you," Tom replied. "Sue is taken care of more than adequately, but you and April are my family until and if I die tomorrow on that table."

Eddie nodded, "We won't need any of this," Eddie replied. "You are going to do great, and then, you and I can go on with our live as friends, as April's parents…"

Tom nodded, "I do love you, Eddie. I really do."

"I love you too," Eddie replied. "Now, get into bed, and rest, you need all your strength for this, okay?"

Eddie stayed with Tom until he fell asleep that night. She left for the apartment, nervous and exhausted. Jamie was waiting for her there, a couple of cold beers on the table and his arms wide open. She needed his support, and she'd have it, that's what their love was all about.

Eddie folded her legs underneath her and sipped her beer. "Tomorrow's the big day, Tom wants to see April before he goes in and you too. Tonight, he gave me all the legal paperwork for the business, trust funds, he's not sure that he's making it through this operation. He's scared."

"Of course," Jamie replied. "Pop only had angioplasty and that was horrible on him and the rest of us. This is much worse."

"He told me he loved me," Eddie confessed to Jamie. "And I told him I loved him too. Until tonight, I never said those words to him, not even on our wedding day but…"

"But tonight, you felt it was the right time to tell him that you do, and you should. It's not a romantic love, but you were friends, you shared a life for three years, you share a little girl, of course you feel love for him and I'm glad you told him," Jamie replied. "Did you think I'd be upset?"

"I wasn't sure you'd understand," Eddie replied. "I'm not sure I do. I wanted to love him, Jamie. When I met him, when I accepted his proposal, I wanted to love him, but I just can't not like I should have and he couldn't love me that way either. "

Jamie tightened his arms around Eddie, "I love you that way, and Sue loves Tom that way. He's going to come through just fine and this kind of emotion now, that will make things easier during the divorce. You'll be amicable and friendly and that's best for everyone, especially our precious April."

Eddie smiled, Jamie was so sweet and understanding. "We better get to bed, I have to be up really early to go to the hospital."

"What do you need from me during this?" Jamie asked. "Where can I be the most help to you while you see him through this?"

Eddie sighed, "Taking care of our children. They know you, they need you. Keep the kids, keep their routine as normal possible."

"That's what I thought you'd say," Jamie replied. "But I'll do anything you need me to do. I love you so much, and on the other side of this is our family."

Eddie nodded her head, "I know baby. I love you too, so much! I'm going to kiss the babies, I'll be right in."

Neither Eddie nor Jamie slept well, and Tom, he didn't sleep a wink. Eddie and Jamie arrived with the kids at 8:30. The surgery was set for 10am. Tom wanted a word with Jamie, so Eddie kept the kids outside while they spoke.

"Wish you all the best Tom," Jamie said, seeing how sick Tom really was for the first time. He looked his 50 years, pale and drawn, the stress of the unknow getting to him.

"Thank you, Jamie,' he replied. "I…" Tom took a deep breath. "This is a big surgery. Nine hours, open heart, open chest and we both know the danger of that. I don't know if I'm going to come out and I need to hear from you that you will take care of my girls. All four of them. Anita, she's been with us a long time, she's getting ready to retire but hasn't yet…Sue, I left her money but to make sure things go through probate properly, and that my sister and niece don't try to stop that. Of course, Eddie, but most of all April. She'll need a Daddy, a father figure to keep her safe, scare off the monsters until the bed, and chase away the boys that come sniffing around…"

"You will be there to do that for her," Jamie assured him. "But rest assured that, if you are not able to it, I will. I love them too, I love them too, not to worry. You focus on you."

Tom smiled he felt a lot better with Jamie's assurance. He was sick to his stomach over this, he knew in his gut what the doctors were going to find wasn't pretty. He could feel it. Tom shut his eyes, "When Eddie comes back up here, can you send her in with April?"

Jamie nodded, "And don't worry about April, we're going to the Central Park Zoo today with my Pop. He loves kids and the kids love him. We'll take some pictures of her alone and of her and Max. You get well I'll come see you if you get sick of the ladies fussing in a few days. You are in my prayers."

Tom thanked Jamie again and leaned back on the bed. Eddie was just getting off the elevator with the babies when Jamie stepped out. "He's ready to see you and April now. He just needed to know I was here."

Eddie leaned on tip toes and kissed Jamie lightly, "I love you. Thank you so much for doing this."

"That's what love is about," Jamie replied. "Go on in, I'll take her when you're done."


	126. Chapter 126

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Six

Eddie stepped into the private hospital room with April on her hip. The baby was sleepy, but smiled at her Daddy. Eddie set her on the bed, "No touch," she told her as April's eyes fixed on Tom's IV. April put her hands down looking at Tom. "TomTom," she said.

"Yes, baby girl..." Tom kissed her head. "Thanks for bringing her Eddie. Thanks for being here." Eddie could hear the fear in Tom's voice. He was scared to death of what was happening to him. He picked April up and held her tight.

April cuddled against him laying her little head on his chest smiling. "Of course, how are you feeling Tom?" Eddie asked softly.

"I'm nervous," he admitted. "Otherwise, I'm okay. No pain...I know that's going to change when they slice me open ten inches. Listen, I know that our marriage...it wasn't what it should have been. We both were in love with other people when we promised to love each other, but I don't regret a second of it. I would do it again, we have a very special friendship."

Eddie smiled, Tom really was a good man, just not the one she was in love with. "Yes, we do. I'll be right here when they bring you out after surgery. It'll be okay Tom; the doctors know what they're doing."

He nodded, "Good part about the money is that I can afford the best. You and April will always have the best. Jamie too and his family. You love him so much..."

Eddie smiled, a small chill running through her body hearing him say that. "Yes, I do. We go back a long time. You're very sweet Tom, but don't worry about that right now, you need to rest."

Tom held Eddie's hand, she raised his to her lips to kiss it. When there was about twenty minutes left before the start of the surgery, Eddie smiled, "Okay, April. Give Daddy a kiss..." She wanted him to be able to have some private time with Sue. "Give a big big kiss..."

April snuggled a little closer giving Tom a kiss. "TomTom, buh bye," she waved a little hand at him turning to Eddie letting her mommy pick her up.

Eddie was trying to hide her tears as she stepped out, "Sue, go on...he wants to be with you for this last part." Sue smiled and stepped into Tom's room. Eddie handed April to Jamie, "She's off her schedule a little bit, we got her up so early. I'll keep you posted when to come back. You be a good girl, be nice with Max. Max, give Mommom kisses..." Eddie reached down to pick the boy up.

Max reached two little hands out eagerly giving Eddie plenty of kisses while April held onto Jamie. "Call me if you need anything Eddie, I mean that. Don't worry, April is in good hands," Jamie assured.

"I know she's with you," Eddie smiled. Jamie took both kids out heading the meet Henry at the zoo.

Meanwhile, Sue sat on Tom's bed with him, holding his hand in hers. "I'm sorry, Susie..." Tom sighed after some silence.

"What are you sorry for Tom? There's nothing to be sorry about. You're going to be okay," Sue assured gently, squeezing his hand.

"Not that," he replied. "I know that I'll...I meant all the years we snuck around and hid our feelings. All the time we could have had, I ...I'm sorry." Tom leaned up for a kiss and Sue obliged him.

As soon as they pulled apart, she took his hand again. "Well, after your surgery is a fresh start, Tom. We can talk about us, but I'll still be here for you. That won't change."

Tom ran his finger over Sue's knuckles, "Look after them, Eddie is going to look after you...I love you...Kiss me Susie."

"I love you too, Tom," Sue leaned over and pressed their lips together letting the kiss linger as long as she could.

"It's time to go, Mr. Manning," the orderly said breaking up their kiss. The nurse injected Tom's IV, "This is going to make you very sleepy."

Tom nodded, he already was very sleepy. Eddie saw Tom being wheeled away, she waved at him and gave him her best smile. For now, she was still his wife, she wore his ring, and that meant she took on the responsibilities of being Mrs. Thomas Manning, including a bedside vigil and prayers for his safe return.

Jamie held April while Frank was with Max walking into the zoo already crowded with other families.

"What do you want to see Max?" Frank asked the older boy first. Max's little hand pointed towards the monkey exhibit enjoying how silly they were. He turned in Frank's arms making monkey sounds.

"Good boy, Max," Frank praised. "Use your words, Tell Grandpa what you want."

Max looked at Frank putting both hands on either side of his face trying to say monkey, which came out "mumbkyes."

"Good boy, April let's clap for Max, using his words like a big boy!" April clapped her tiny hands and Max smiled as they headed to see the exhibit. They saw the monkey exhibit, bears, the snow leopards, and then April surprised them all..."Hungee Apil pease..." She pointed to a picture of French fries.

"Good girl, April! Let's take a lunch break then we can go back and see more animals," Jamie praised leading them towards the shaded refreshment area to cool down and eat.

The babies had water and juice, they shared some fries and Jamie got them each their own hot dog. April wanted to share hers and kept handing bites to Frank and Jamie. Max tried to show what a big boy he was eating his roll and his hot dog. "It's been hours," Jamie said to his father. "She didn't even check up on April, I'm worried."

"I'm sure if something happened Eddie would call or text. She's probably just preoccupied worrying about Tom. Plus, she trusts you with her daughter. She knows how good you are with her," Frank said softly.

"I know that, I'm just as much her father now as Tom is. The other night she got scared, and woke up...she wanted me, calling out Dada...She doesn't call him Daddy, isn't that funny?" Jamie wiped April's hands. "You have ketchup in your hair. You're messy like your Mommy."

April looked up at him eyes rounded as though insulted by the comment she was messy. "Doesn't that tell you something though Jamie? Not that Tom isn't a good man but..."

"Yes, that I have a strong bond with this child, just like Eddie and Max. April is a good girl, she's not...she doesn't crave love and attention like Max does."

"Different parents raised differently, but Max is a good boy too Jamie. He's content like you were," Frank said softly.

Max put his hot dog down, "All gone..." He said that very clearly and then took a fry off April's mat.

"If you want a fry use your words buddy," Jamie watched his son with a small sigh.

"French fry..." he told Jamie. "Max..." Then he pulled the whole tray towards him, causing April to make a face.

"You have to share with April, the fries are for you both," Jamie told him gently pulling the tray in the middle so they could both reach.

Five hours into Tom's surgery, Eddie and Sue waited with cups of hot tea delivered by Anita. Eddie offered a smile, but her face couldn't hide the worry wondering what was taking so long with the surgery.

"It's a long procedure, I'm sure he's fine," Sue smiled. "I'm sure of it." Still she was worried too. "I'm so glad he has you and April. That little girl is his world. I couldn't even give him children, I think that was the issue and he needed to have children for the heir."

"April is a great girl he's really good with her, he's a wonderful father, " Eddie nodded taking a sip of her tea slowly

"He is a good father and he's a good man, I just hope that he's doing better after this. He's had a tough time at the office, up and down so much, a lot of pain."

Eddie hoped the same thing looking down at her cup now half full of luke warm tea, just wanting to hear any news on how the surgery was going.

Finally, the doctor came out, "Mrs. Manning, we need to speak to you."

Eddie stood quietly holding the cup nervously. "How is he, doctor? How is Tom?"

"Mrs. Manning, I need to speak to you about Tom's living will. His heart stopped for 13 minutes and 19 seconds, and we did all we could for him. We were able to revive him, but another stop will be too difficult on his body. If his heart stops again, what do you want us to do?"

Eddie sobbed quietly clutching her tea cup in shock. "He would want every chance to live do whatever you can for him doctor, please."

He nodded, and Sue stood up beside Eddie holding her arm, "He's gone?"

"His heart stopped, the doctor wanted to know what to do if it happened again," Eddie sobbed quietly.

Sue's knees buckled, she didn't know what she would do without Tom. She covered her mouth, she and Eddie held onto each other. They stood holding each other finally taking a seat, still sobbing.

The surgery was over two hours later. The doctor allowed Eddie back to see Tom. She reached back for Sue and took her hand. "Come on, you come too. He needs us both."

The only sound was a beeping heart monitor. Tom's eyes were shut showing no movement, the only sign of life was his chest moving up and down slowly.

"Thank you for letting me stay here Eddie." Sue whispered.

"I'd want to be here for Jamie. You love Tom, you belong here...He'll be back with us, you'll see." Eddie assured her.

Eddie rubbed Tom's arm, "I'm here, Tom. I'm here with you and Sue is here with you. I know that you hurt…I know you hurt so much and anything you need you tell us." Eddie made sure Tom was lying at a good angle and that his surgerized leg was elevated. "I'll give you two a couple of minutes, I'll be back in a little while. I'm going to update Anita and send her home."

Sue kissed Tom's slightly parted lips, he looked horrible, so weak and sick. It scared her to think of him that way, he had always been the strong one, never sick a day in his life. His grandfather had suffered a terrible heart ailment, and died young, slowly and painfully. Eddie prayed many a night that Tom would not meet a similar fate. She saw the doctor's coming down the hallway, "Mrs. Manning, we'd like to discuss Tom's prognosis. Let's have a seat."

"Just a minute," Eddie told the doctor and called Sue to come to listen. The two women sat down and took a long deep breath. "It's not good news, Mrs. Manning. The damage to Tom's heart is extensive. There is extreme swelling of all the tissues and it's compromising his pulmonary function as well. This is the result of a sever congenital defect, we honestly don't know how he survived this long. There's nothing more we can do medically, there's no money, no doctor, no anything that can reverse this. I'm so sorry."

Eddie felt sick, Tom was dying. "How long…I mean…how much time does he have?"

"Six months to a year," was the reply. Eddie took a breath, things were going to change now. So many things. Eddie felt the tears flow down her cheeks, she looked at Sue, she was clearly heartbroken. Eddie and Sue held hands as they took in the news. "I have to go," Sue said quickly. "I'm sorry, Eddie, I have to go." The shock was just too much.

Jamie put the babies to bed, he hadn't heard a word from Eddie and three texts to her phone had gone unanswered. "Dad, I'm going to run to the hospital and check up on Tom and Eddie. She never returned my text, I need to check on her."

"Go on, the kids will sleep," Frank replied. "Give her our best."

Jamie headed out of the house and drove toward the hospital. He found Tom's room quickly and walked to the CICU where the ailing business man lay. Eddie was at his bedside, Tom was awake, whispering something to her. Eddie moved the pillow behind his back and held a water cup for him. Eddie was entirely focused on him, she didn't lift her gaze from his bedside until he fell asleep.

Jamie knocked on the door when he saw Eddie sit, she stood up, and did her Mrs. Manning walk. Jamie identified that walk when Eddie meant business, when she was filling her role as Tom's wife, when she was not his Eddie. "Jamie, I'm so sorry," she said flatly. "I've been so busy with Tom. The surgery was very taxing on him and the prognosis is not good at all. Not at all."

"I'm really sorry Eddie what did the doctors say exactly?" Jamie sat across from her studying Eddie to see how she was handling this.

Eddie's back was straight as an arrow and her tone flat. "He's dying, Jamie. There's nothing more they can do. The doctor said, this is not something Tom's money can get him out of. He's going to die."

"Oh, Eddie I'm so sorry. If you need anything just call or text me. Anything. I can keep April if you want so you can handle things. I know it's a stupid question, but are you okay?"

"Yes," Eddie replied. "But Jamie, please understand...I won't divorce Tom now, not while I know he's dying. I can't do it. I took a vow and when he was healthy, it was a different story but...I hope you understand Jamie. We'll have to carry on as we are now."

Jamie's heart sank, his heart dropping down to the pit of his stomach. "Yeah I understand do what you have to Eddie I'll keep April long as you need me to. Take care of yourself though okay."

Eddie smiled, "I will. Thanks for April, in a day or two she can come and visit. I'm going to be staying until Tom is doing better, but I'll go home to the apartment as much as I can. We'll be together as much as we can, Jamie. We will."

"I know, you take care of yourself okay? Call if you need anything," Jamie whispered softly.

Jamie dipped his head and took Eddie's lips, she kissed him back, but it was clear her mind was elsewhere. "I love you," Jamie whispered. "I'll come by tomorrow."

Eddie nodded slowly watching him walk out before returning to the room sitting by Tom's side sighing quietly.


	127. Chapter 127

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Seven

Eddie nodded off in the chair by Tom's bed, Sue hadn't returned yet. It was just the two of them. A little before 8, Tom opened his eyes again and weakly tugged on Eddie's hand.

Feeling the slight pull woke Eddie, she looked over. "Tom, hey how are you feeling?" she leaned forward to be closer to him.

"Water," he rasped trying to reach out and get the cup. Eddie gently lifted Tom's head and helped him sip the liquid. "Chest hurts so bad."

"I'll get a doctor see if they can give you anything. I know, Tom," Eddie reached around for the nurse call button.

Tom's surgeon was on his way in to speak to him, so he ordered medication to help the pain. Eddie sat down and held Tom's hand, she knew already what the doctor was going to say. She rubbed his hand trying to sooth him. "Doctor," she gave a small nod not letting go of Tom while they spoke.

Tom took the news in his stride, he had a feeling before the operation that this would be the prognosis. "I'd like for him to be as comfortable as he possibly can be, doctor. Can arrangements be made for that," Eddie asked quietly.

"Of course, we'll treat the symptoms of the heart failure with medication. After some recovery time from the surgery, Tom, you can resume a modified lifestyle, work, family time, just not heavy physical activity."

"Thank you very much," Eddie replied. He said his chest is hurting him. Can you give him something for it?"

"We'll have the nurse start you on patient controlled right away," the doctor smiled. "Rest, get well, enjoy the time you have. Maximize it. I am very sorry, with this condition even transplant is not an option, that heart will just deteriorate like this one is doing." Tom nodded and looked up to see Sue coming into the room. She looked like she hadn't slept in a month.

Eddie hadn't seen her as focused as she had been on talking to the doctor about making sure Tom was comfortable. "Thanks Doctor."

Eddie stood up to greet Sue, "I'll leave you two to talk okay? I'll get you some tea and I'll check on April." Eddie wanted to call Jamie. Tomorrow was Max' s party and they had details to go over for it.

Sue went to Tom's side while Eddie stepped out into the hall heading downstairs for two cups of tea. She pulled out her cell calling Jamie.

Jamie picked up with a smile, "Hey beautiful girl," he greeted. "It's Mommom..." he told both babies. "How's Tom?"

"He woke up in pain. It's going to be a long hard road ahead for him. How are the kids doing?" Eddie asked pouring each cup carefully.

"They're fine, April misses you. Max was calling for you," Jamie replied. "Just let me know when you want me to bring April to see Tom. Are you going to the apartment at all today to get some rest?"

"I'm not sure yet. I just wanted to update you and talk to you about Max' s party tomorrow. I had a few more instructions before it."

"Of course, you did," Jamie laughed. "Do you want me to call the people that didn't RSVP? You know Eddie if you can't..." Eddie stopped him. "I will, this is our little boy's party."

They talked a few more minutes, Eddie was craving time with Jamie, Max, and April. Tom was resting with Sue at his side, and her love was what Tom needed now. "Let's meet for pizza at the apartment tonight, Tom will rest with Sue. I need to hug you, I need to hug my kids."

"Sure, Eddie I'll bring the usual right?' Jamie knew without asking what Eddie's favorite pizza was. "What time do you want us to come? The kids will be thrilled to see you."

"See you there at five," Eddie replied. "Jamie, you're not angry with me, are you? About my saying I can't ask for the divorce now?"

"I understand Eddie, really. We'll see you at five. Do you want to say hi to April and Max. They're right here?"

Eddie's eyes teared as she listened to the kids talk, she missed them, she needed Jamie so badly, but she had to do this. Tom needed her as well as Sue. "Mommom loves you," Eddie told them. "Be good, I'll see you later."

Jamie came back in to both kids asking for her. "You'll see Mommom later I promise. We'll see you at five, Eddie."

"See you at five, I love you," Eddie replied and ended the call.

Eddie was first to the apartment. Tom was sleeping and Sue was sitting at his side. She heard Jamie and the kids coming to the door and rushed to open it. Max ran right to Eddie and threw his arms around her. "Mommom…Maxy miss you."

"I missed my Max too," Eddie replied. "How's my big girl?' Eddie reached out and held onto April as well. She needed this so badly.

Jamie's arms came around them and the family stood holding each other close and tight. "Pisa!" April squealed, smelling the treat. Jamie smiled, "Of course, you want your pizza." He pulled back from the hug and started to serve.

They took turns with the kids, Jamie looked at Eddie. "Sue is there?"

"Yeah and she's going to go over in the morning, I'll check on things then come over to the park and set up for the party. My big boy is going to be two. Max, show Mommom two…" She held up to fingers.

Max copied her and cooed, "Two!" He clapped his hands in delight.

It was the focus for both Jamie and Eddie to get the kids to sleep as early as possible. After the talk they had that morning, they both needed to connect and be together.

Eddie sang to the kids and Jamie tucked them into their beds. When they were sound asleep and off to dreamland, they held each other close. "Oh, you feel good, I'm so sorry Jamie. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, I'm not upset with you," Jamie soothed. "I'm not. I love you, and believe it or not, the part of you that needs to be with Tom and see him through this. It's not right, it hurts that we have to wait for our family, but I know you need to do this."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "Thank you. Thank you for being so understanding, if you weren't, if you did make me choose, I…"

"I'd never do that to you, Eddie," Jamie murmured into her hair. "Never, just promise me one thing? Promise me we will have our family, eventually, we'll be a family."

Eddie traced Jamie's lips with her finger, "We are a family, this doesn't change my love for you. We are a family, we just need to wait to make it official. Just a little bit longer."

Jamie sighed, it hurt, he had to hide that though, Eddie needed his strength. "Just a little bit longer," he echoed and took her lips in a possessive kiss.

Eddie got up at six to go see Tom. Sue had just arrived, he seemed to be doing a little better. Sue greeted her with a tired smile staying by his side. "Hey eddie," Tom smiled too.

"Hey, you look a lot better," Eddie smiled. "I'm only able to stay a little while today. It's Max's second birthday and I made his party."

"Ah yes wish him a happy birthday for me," Tom said slowly. His eyes followed Eddie as she approached the bed.

She kissed his cheek, *Anything you need from me before?" She asked softly. "Your pillows need adjusting?"

"I'm good thanks. Have a good time, Eddie. you deserve that," Tom smiled at her reaching to take her hand.

He kissed the delicate skin and Eddie smiled. "I know you'll take good care of him Sue...and Tom you listen you her. I'll call you later.'

"I usually do," Tom gave her a gentle smile.

Eddie headed home to find Jamie had just woken up. "Hey, I woke up and you were gone. Everything okay?"

"I wanted to check up on Tom before we started the birthday party fun," Eddie smiled giving Jamie a good morning kiss. "Where's the birthday boy?"

"He's in his room," Jamie stretched out throwing the covers back yawning. "I'll make some coffee and his breakfast."

"Can you make those little pancakes. April will eat two, I'll eat four and Max probably eats two," Eddie directed. "Put a candle in his, let's make it special." She ran her hands along Jamie's bare back, remembering the time she spent in his arms.

"Of course, " Jamie smiled eyes twinkling leaning in for one more kiss. "It is a special day today my world-famous pancakes coming up "

Eddie washed her face off and made the bed. She heard April wake up and knew Max would not be far behind. When she went into the bedroom to get the little ones, Max, was sitting in his bed smiling. April was trying to get out of her bed.

"Hey, Happy Birthday Maxy!" Eddie greeted lifting him up for a birthday kiss carrying the giggling boy to April. "Hey baby come to mommy, give mommy big hugs."

Both children gave hugs and kisses, then Eddie set them on their little feet. April stopped and looked at Eddie, "Mommom wet..." She hated wet diapers.

"Come here April mommy will fix that right away. Maxy can play while you wait. Max how old are you today," Eddie asked while gathering April's clothes.

Max babbled on about dreaming of a bear and wanting to eat bacon. "Daddy's making pancakes!" Eddie made it sound like the most exciting thing ever.

Max clapped his hands excitedly, trying to say pancakes coming out "pckes." He loved daddy's pancakes!

The kids got to the table just as Jamie put the candle in Max's pancakes. "Happy Birthday to you," the family sang to Max with April giving her "brother" a huge kiss.

Max clapped his hands excitedly enjoying the attention. He put up a hand trying to show how old he is.

"That's a good boy!" Eddie praised. 'You're two, Mommom's big boy, two years old." She gave him a kiss as Jamie put him in his seat. Eddie put April in her chair, then the family of four began to eat.

"Good," April smiled eating her pancakes, licking her lips. Max stuffed pancakes into his mouth pointing at the syrup.

"Tell Mommom," Eddie encouraged. "Tell me..." "See up." Max told her and Jamie poured it on. It was already going to be a great day, she could just tell.

She's going through a rough time, she wants this to be perfect. Tom's dying, Danny,' Jamie told his brother, tears welled in his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that kid. I understand, anything she wants us to do and if you or Eddie need anything..." Danny didn't have to finish.

"Eddie's uh..." Jamie began. "Eddie's got a good idea of what she wants. Can you help me set up the gift table?" Jamie didn't want to discuss anything else right now.

"Yeah of course kid anything you need." Danny followed his brother helping set up the table where guests would leave their gifts. Max and April were running and playing when Frank arrived. Slowly but steadily max's little day care friends started to appear, some of them with their single Mommom who were enthralled with Jamie.

Jamie greeted the guests warmly thanking them for coming. Soon the park filled with conversations while kids played happily. The children loved the clown, the cotton candy machine, the bounce house, and most of all the ponies. The photographer moved around capturing max on the pony and playing with friends smiling happily.

It was obvious that several of the Moms that Jamie were thinking about how their own children might look being held and played with by such an attentive father. Jamie kept turning his head towards Eddie. Several times, he saw her on the phone, having an intent conversation with whomever was on the other end of the line.

"I'm glad he's not hurting," Eddie replied. "But I'm happy they had him get up and walk, the sooner he starts walking around the stronger he'll get. Yeah, have the doctor call me when he's in next and put it on speaker phone. Thanks Sue."

Eddie hung up and focused on Max once again.

Eddie held Max by the pony, she looked so pretty with him in her arms. They both smiled for the camera. Jamie moved around talking to everyone keeping his eye on Eddie and Max smiling. He loved to see Eddie with Max, the little boy didn't have a mother's love for so long.

One of the mother's from Max's daycare closed the gap between herself and Jamie. "He is just the most adorable boy," she praised. "Are you still seeing his mother and planning to make a life with her or…would you be interested in seeing if our sons get along outside of daycare?" A tall, thin, straight haired brunette flirted with Jamie openly. Kara's keen officer's eye caught that and send a text to Eddie. "SOS, Jamie's in over his head."

Eddie looked and saw the woman in Jamie's space. She had seen a few other ladies near him, but this was to close for comfort, and poor Jamie looked really uncomfortable. Eddie carried Max over to Jamie, pausing to take April's hand. With a bright smile, she approached Jamie handing him Max and April. "He's even hotter with two little kids in his arms, isn't he?" Eddie asked fixing the interloper with bright, hard blue eyes. She stood on her tip toes and kissed Jamie's lips, "I'm going make plates, let's eat under the tree, just the family."

No one missed Eddie's point. Out of the corner of his eye Jamie saw Eddie wink at him as she walked away, they truly had come along way and although others would try no one would break up their little family.

While Eddie supervised the service of ice cream, the father of one of Max's friends smiled at her. "I don't remember seeing you are the day care? I'm Jim Ellis. My son is playing with Max."

Eddie looked to see a boy, a touch bigger than Max, poking the little boy with a toy. Max was clearly not enjoying it and put up his hands to fend it off. He grabbed the end of the toy and pushed back. Eddie's eyes never left him. "Max isn't enjoying the game," she replied.

"Oh, little fellow is having fun," the man replied. "I'd love for us to maybe get together for a playdate."

"As a matter fact, I'm Max's Mom," Eddie told him. "But I'm not sure our sons get along, I'm quite certain we don't, excuse me."

Jamie read Eddie's body language and met her across the field. "I'm still wearing Tom's ring and your ring and…ugh!"

Jamie slid his arms around Eddie's waist, "You know, I saw a shed a few yards away, Linda and Max are watching the babies for the moment…It's no closet but…"

Eddie blushed, "Race you."

Jamie easily won the race and tipped Jerry, the groundskeeper, to let them in the shed. As soon as the door closed, Jamie pulled Eddie to his chest. "You doing okay? It's already been a long day."

"Yes," Eddie replied, "Max is having such fun, he's running and playing and he's hasn't a care in the world, isn't that great!"

"You have made this a beautiful birthday for him," Jamie whispered, taking Eddie closer and wrapping her up tight. Eddie leaned back into Jamie's arms letting him take her lips. So often they had their private moments locked away like this. Jamie caressed Eddie's back, her hands rubbed his neck and shoulders. Their tongues touched lightly as they kissed, they savored the closeness and the quiet time together.

 **A/N: Please check out our new collaboration,** **And Then There Were Four** **, to be published on June 21** **st** **.**


	128. Chapter 128

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Eight

Jamie held her head between his palms, and kissed her with a slow, burning hunger as he probed with is tongue, seeking entrance to her mouth. He stroked down her body and beneath the waistband of her shorts, tucking his hand into the notch between her thighs. Eddie cried out in surprise, automatically grabbing his wrist. Her thighs clamped tight around his hand. Her eyes were huge, eclipsing her face, a hectic color warmed her cheeks.

She couldn't control the tremors that shook her entire body, but she took a deep breath and slowly parted her thighs. He gently stroked the soft, closed folds and she sighed leaning closer into his body. It would be so easy to fall onto the wooden floor, splinters, dust, and all and let him take her, but there was a party outside, and being discovered would be…it would certainly be the only thing that was remembered from Max's party.

As Jamie and Eddie held one another, their heart rates slowing back down, Eddie spoke. "You are the best father," she whispered as she stood in Jamie's embrace. "All of those, as Max would say, Mommoms, they see what I see. They see how you love, they see how you treasure those that love you. They see it all and they want a part of it, but it's mine…that is all mine."

Jamie rained soft kisses over Eddie's face, "That's right. You are mine…and Max and April are the luckiest little kids in the world to have such a pretty…" Jamie placed a kiss. "Smart…" Another kiss. "Loving Mommom." Eddie captured Jamie's lips as he said that. "You think they miss us yet?"

"Yeah, probably do, it's almost time for the magician," Eddie replied. "I love you, Jamie. So much."

"I love you too," Jamie whispered. "You going to the hospital after this?"

Eddie nodded, "For a little bit, you going to come with?"

"Yeah, I'll come and we can go back to the apartment, Dad offered to take the kids so…" Jamie smiled.

"I like how you think, Reagan," Eddie replied as they headed out of the shed and back to the party, flashing a smile of thanks in Jerry's direction.

Eddie moved to get back to organizing the next phase of the party. Jamie headed for the massage station to let the experienced workers hammer out the kinks that had been in his neck. He was surprised when he heard shrill cries and turned to see April running to him.

"Hey, what happened April?" Jamie kneeled capturing the girl in his arms.

"Dada!" she reached up for Jamie to hold her. Both knees were cut and bloody from her falling. Linda jogged up beside them. "She tumbled off the bounce house and fell on her knees. She took off for you before I got to her."

Jamie held her securely in his arms. "It's okay, April. We'll make the booboo all better," he assured setting her down on a chair.

Eddie took Max in her arms and hurried over to April. "What happened?"

"She fell on her knees off the bouncy house. Just a few small cuts, nothing major," Jamie said calmly.

"Come to Mommy?" Eddie asked, but April was content with Jamie holding her.

Smiling at April, Jamie kept her calm while he cleaned her up. Jamie cleaned the scrapes with a special bunny cloth and pink soap. "All better," he said putting a Band-Aid over the booboo. Then he kissed the tiny knees, "All better now angel."

April giggled and opened her arms to give him a hug. "Tank ooh."

Jamie picked her up and kissed her head. "Come on, let's go have Max's cake"

He smiled at Eddie and led them to the table where Max' s cake waited. "Everyone let's sing Happy Birthday to Max." The group sang and Max blew out his candles. It had been a big day for him and April, they were both getting tired.

Danny, Linda, and Kara offered to help clean up so Frank could take the sleepy babies home and Jamie and Eddie could go to the hospital and check on Tom. There was no end to the support Danny, Linda, and Kara provided their relationship.

Tom was resting when Eddie and Jamie got to the hospital. He sat in the waiting room with a magazine and a cup of coffee while Eddie spoke to Tom and his doctors. "Three days seems very soon," Eddie sighed. "But we'll make it work, private nurses?"

"Nurses for wound care certainly," the doctor replied. "However, daily care can be managed by you and your staff. Tom's condition requires that he be as calm and sedate as he can logically be. Rest and some time in bed each day to let the heart slow and not overwork is essential for getting the most out of the time that's left."

"I'll see he does," Eddie said looking at Sue who nodded her agreement. "I'll handle most of the work. You won't have to worry about a thing."

Tom smiled, "I know. Sue, can I have a word with Eddie in private?"

Sue smiled and patted Tom's hand, she stepped outside and sat with Jamie.

"Eddie," Tom began. "I…I know that you and Jamie…I know that you were planning to leave me. I know it…but…"

"I'm not leaving," Eddie replied. "I'm not leaving you. I spoke to Jamie, I am going to stay with you and help you through this next part. Don't worry, don't be afraid. I'm not going anywhere and neither is Sue."

Tom tried again, sighing quietly. "Thank you for being here Eddie. How was the party?" He wanted to hear all about if the kids at the party, whether they had fun, which he was sure they did. "Do you have pictures?"

"You bet," Eddie smiled and showed Tom the pictures of Max and April on the ponies, on the swings, blowing out the candles. She and Jamie had posed with both kids for a sort of family picture, but that one she chose not to show Tom. She showed him the picture of Frank carrying both kids to the car, the Band-Aids showing on April's knees.

"Oh, they look like they're having a blast," Tom smiled lightly. "What happened to April is she okay?"

"She bounced off the bounce house and fell down," Eddie replied. "Jamie cleaned her up, kissed the booboo and she went about her business. She didn't even want me, she was happy to have Jamie hold her."

Tom frowned at the Band-Aids over the little girl's knees. "He is really good with her; very caring and gentle. Kids pick up on that, you know? Oh, look at her eating the cake."

"It was all over her," Eddie laughed. "Frank was going to wash them up when he put them in their pjs. They had both been running around and were both so tired."

Tom looked up at Eddie, "Sounds like everyone had a good time. I'm glad. I bet they're both going to sleep well tonight. "

"Yes, they are," Eddie smiled. "You'll be home with her soon, you can read to her. She loves Dr. Seuss, she's reading a little, well copying when I read to her. You look tired."

"I'm okay. We should get her all the Dr Seuss books so she can practice. When I go home I'd like to sit with her and read before bedtime," Tom told her.

"You can see her as much as you want, I'll be spending time in Manhasset and in the apartment. I'll order the books. I really think you need to get some rest." Eddie stroked his hair, Sue and Jamie both saw the wifely gesture.

Relaxed at the gentle touch, Tom closed his eyes slowly falling into a deep, easy sleep. Sue walked in smiling, "Did he just fall asleep?"

"Yes, he's breathing a little shallow, so I gave him a booster of his medication too. I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodnight, but he was fading before my eyes," Eddie replied. "Are they letting you stay the night?"

Sue sat on the bed watching him sleep with a sad smile. "It's okay he needed rest any way. Yeah, I usually nap on the chair want to stay close in case you know."

"I'm heading out then, I'll be back around ten tomorrow to go over his home care with the nurses," Eddie told Sue. "Call me if there's anything." She smiled at the older woman and headed out to meet Jamie. "I'm glad he has you, Sue. I know how it feels to have someone that loves the way you love him, and I'm so thankful…"

Sue offered an uneasy smile and prepared to sleep at Tom's side.

On the way out of the ward, Eddie stopped by the nurse's desk. "If you could please bring in a reclining chair and some food at tea for Sue, she's with my husband now. I'd appreciate it, just charge any service you provide for her to his bill."

Eddie was using her "Mrs. Manning" tone when she said this, so the nurse complied immediately with a "yes, ma'am," and a smile.

Moments later, the recliner appeared, along with sheets and a blanket, a few pillows, and a tray of tea and cookies. Sue smiled, she knew what had happened here, and she was grateful in her heart. If it was anyone besides Eddie she would be on the outs for certain, but it wasn't. They truly were going to share in these last months of Tom's life, she could finally step out of the shadows.

Jamie drove Eddie back to the apartment in silence, they didn't need to talk for the other to know what was in their hearts. Jamie held Eddie's hand as they walked into the apartment. "I'm so glad your Dad kept the kids, we need this time, Jamie. I need you more than ever."

"I know, me too," Jamie closed the door behind them turning to face Eddie, reaching a hand up brushing it along her cheek.

"It seems the closer we get, the further away the line moves,' Eddie sighed. "I love you so for understanding that I can't..." Jamie stopped her cold with a soul stirring kiss, his lips moving over hers, taking her into his mouth. They were all that mattered now, the two of them.

Eddie circled her arms around his waist first moving them up past his back reaching his hair running her fingers through it.

Jamie's hands worked through Eddie's long tresses, he undid the ponytail, then slid his arms down to work her blouse off. He could sense though, she was taking control when she pulled his shirt off in one quick movement. He wasn't even sure what happened to her skirt or his pants, he vaguely remembered tripping over one of her shoes as they clumsily made their way to their bed, their lips and hands never leaving the other.

She put both hands on his chest and circled his nipples with her thumbs, watching in delight as they hardened. She looked up at him, eyes luminous with joy. He swallowed. He was breathing roughly, his deep chest expanding with the force of it. His heart almost stopped at the smile she gave him.

She turned her attention back to him, leaning down and circling a nipple with her tongue, then gently sucking at it. He stifled a grown as a shudder racked through him. She moved her attention to the other nipple, giving it the same tender treatment while her hands slipped around his rib cage, molding the shape and feel of him, enjoying the textures of his skin.

Jamie sucked in his breath, digging his fingers into the mattress as he tried to control himself. Oh, God, he wanted to touch her so much, he could barely stand it. He had never felt anything as excruciatingly gentle, as exquisitely painful, as he slow exploration of his body continued, and he had the feeling that it was going to get much worse.

She ran her hand up to the tufts of hair under his arms, enjoying the silkiness that seemed so incongruous on so strong a man. His skin, in those hidden, protected areas, was as sleek as her own. She enjoyed that.

She followed the crisp mat of hair on his chest with one finger, down and down, until her hand brushed against his straining sex. She paused, then turned her hand and curled her fingers around him. He gave a shaky groan, and his legs shifted restlessly, then he was still again. Eddie lifted her other hand and held him between her palms, examining him with absorbed fascination. He was thick and heavy with arousal. She thought of taking that thickness into her body, and grew excited; she could hear herself breathing, in soft pants. Her blood was singing through her veins and she felt warm as if her skin was too tight for the body's arousal.

The sheer closeness of him was beautiful. She cupped his heavy testicles in her hands, very gently, and his body arched. He shook from head to toe, "Lord have mercy," he said in a strangled, desperate tone.

"The Lord?" she asked softly. "Or me?" The sense of her own feminine power over him was intense.

He couldn't reply, all he could do was moan her name. She was damp and swollen, throbbing with need, but she wanted to be in control this time of her own body, and his. She wanted to give pleasure as well as seek it. She wanted it all.

With a sigh she mounted him, straddling his hips and holding his sex steady as she positioned it and slowly sank down. She felt such warmth and wonder at the hardness probing deeper inside of her as she slowly took him, and lingered over the taking, inch by slow inch. The sensation was so exquisite that she lifted herself almost completely off him and began again.

Jamie's hands knotted in the sheets, and perspiration dripped from his forehead. She was only taking about half of him before sliding upward again, and he thought he was going to end up in the bed next to Tom if she didn't stop…only he didn't want her to stop. He didn't' dare touch her, because if he did, he would lose control. This was her show, all the way. She had lost control of so much in her life, she needed this and he was more than happy to oblige her. She was concentrating on the sensations as she slid up and down on him, her beautiful face flushed and lit with a smile.

Eddie closed her eyes against the overwhelming surge of passion and pleasure. She fought again the rush to finish. She wanted to savor every delicious explosion of sensation deep inside her as she lifted herself from him, feeling the drag of his sex on her acutely sensitive tissues, followed by that indescribable moment of deepening penetration as she took him again. She moaned aloud, sensing the approach of her climax.

Jamie writhed on the sheet. Oh, God, if she didn't hurry…The shallow way she was riding him was working the swollen head of him with almost ceaseless pressure. A harsh groan tore from his chest. He wanted to thrust deep, more than he ever wanted anything, but refused to let himself do so. There had been times when his needs would take precedence, there would be again, but this time, was Eddie's. He shivered with the intensity of the pleasure. He thought his heart was going to explode.

She was very wet now, and her rhythm had become faster. The fitted sheet came loose as he pulled at it. He arched, his body so rigid that his weight was supported only on his heels and his shoulders. A mist swam in front of his eyes.

"Eddie." The word was guttural, his voice husky. He was pleading, 'Deeper…please. Deeper. Take…it. Take all of it, please."

She didn't hear him, she was lost in her own whirlpool of desire. A breathless sob broke from her lips, and with a convulsive shudder she went down into the swirling depths, her entire body given over to the pleasure racking it.

The tightening of her inner muscles on him blasted the last shred of his control to dust. With a harsh, explosive growl he released his death grip on the sheet and grabbed her surging hips, forcing her downward as his own hips came upward, pushing his full length into her. He climaxed with first stroke, his orgasm bursting from him in a powerful stream as he convulsed beneath her, clamping her to him with ruthless, implacable hands, until it was over for both and she lay limply on his chest. Their heartbeats pounded together, shaking them from within.

He felt as if he would never have to move again. She felt as if she were warm wax, melted and poured over him. Neither of them could bear to separate their bodies. He trailed his hand up the slender length of her spine, feeling the way she was put together. Of the three other women he made love to in his lifetime, nothing compared to how he felt now. There had been no other woman like his Eddie.

They fell asleep holding one another, their bodies still joined for the sake of it. They couldn't take anymore distance than life was forcing upon them. They just couldn't.


	129. Chapter 129

Chapter One Hundred Twenty Nine

Despite their best intentions, life did continue to keep the couple apart. Tom was set to be discharged in two days, leaving Eddie up to her eyebrows in paperwork and preparations. He shouldn't climb stairs, so she had Anita and a moving team bring down their bed and dressers and turn the downstairs office into the new master bedroom. The room Sue would use was just at the top of the stairs. Eddie ordered a chaise lounge installed for when she or Sue were keeping watch at Tom's side.

The ambulance stopped in front of the Manning Mansion, and Tom was gently unloaded. Anita had his room ready, Sue was waiting for him to come in and Eddie was at his side. Jamie would come by later with April.

"Welcome home, Tom," Eddie smiled hopping off the back of the ambulance once the transport team had carefully let him down. Sue walked over with a smile, glad to see him home too.

"Anita has some tea in the sunroom, and your bed is turned down. What can I get you?"

"Just a hug and kiss," Tom said with a smile just as glad to be home. He reached a hand out for her.

Sue was happy to oblige that and then Eddie smiled, "Let's get him inside the house. He needs his rest."

Tom was grateful as they helped him in, Eddie and Sue on either side helping him settle. "Good to be home."

His face contorted in pain as he lifted his legs to the bed. It pulled his stitches and his breath paused. Eddie never saw the sick man when she looked at Tom before, but now she did.

"Let us know if you need anything." Sue sat on the bed glad to be in the privacy of their house. "Are you in pain?"

"Just a twinge," he sighed. "Tired, it's a long ride from Manhattan."

"Rest Tom, you're home now," Sue fluffed the pillows to make him more comfortable helping him lie back.

Eddie stepped out of the room, she felt like an intruder in her own house. She planned to be at her apartment at least four nights a week. then the rest of the time she would be here with Tom. he did need her, he asked her to stay.

Tom slept soundly with Sue at his side while Jamie and Frank watched the kids until Tom was up to seeing April.

When Jamie arrived at the house, Eddie was sleeping on the couch. She had a tough time the last few days getting settled. She was worrying about balance, Jamie tried his best. "Look April, Mommy's sleeping. Let's give her kisses."

April reached out two little hands for her mommy kissing Eddie soon as she got close enough.

Jamie kissed Eddie's lips, "Hey, you okay? You don't look so good." He stroked her hair. "You coming home tonight?"

"Yeah I'll be at the apartment later just been a rough few days," Eddie took April and smothered her daughter with kisses.

"Good, I'll set up dinner tonight," Jamie replied. "There's a new place that sells BBQ and southern comfort food. Just let me know when you are coming home and I'll order." Eddie looked at Jamie, "Stay, don't go, just stay and watch the TV and stay near me, please."

Giving her a worried look Jamie sat on the couch looping an arm around. "Eddie, talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't want to be apart from you," Eddie replied. "I want you near me, I feel safe with you. I love you." Eddie moved so she could put her head on his shoulder. "He's sick, Jamie. He looked sick today. He looked awful!"

Sighing Jamie held Eddie tight and placed a gentle kiss on her head. "I'm right here Eddie. I love you, too."

They put on a movie for April, when Tom woke again, Eddie brought the baby to him. "Look what Daddy has for you," Tom showed her the books they ordered. She pointed to the door, "Dada..." To her, Dada was on the couch and TomTom was in here with her. "Book."

"Yes, a book! We can read a lot these are good books. Daddy will read to you and you can practice too."

"Book..." April echoed and plopped next to Tom's side to listen to him. "Cat Hat..."

"Good girl you're so smart! The Cat in the Hat," Tom smiled proudly at her

Eddie smiled, she loved how tender Tom was with April. She sat with him as he read with their daughter.

April paid close attention to the story clapping her hands and following along with each word.

It was nearly dinner time when Tom let April go. "Can she stay the night? I want to be close to her. Anita will take good care of her."

"See how you feel after dinner," Eddie offered. "Do you want to eat at the table or here in bed?"

"Table, but aren't you going home with Jamie? You said you were going to sleep away tonight." Eddie reached out for April. "I'll treat us all to Greek food."

Tom gave a small nod watching her feeling as though there was something Eddie was feeling that she wasn't admitting. "Can you help me?"

"Of course," Eddie replied. "April, go find Jamie. Go give him hugs." Eddie sent the baby on her way and held Tom's arm.

Tom nodded, "Yes, let's go have dinner, and then you can spend some time with Jamie."

The meal was very nice. They all spoke together, then Tom asked Eddie again about April. "Can she stay with me?"

Eddie sighed it wasn't that she didn't trust Tom, it was just hard for her to let April go when it wasn't planned. "Are you sure you're okay to have her stay?"

"Anita can take care of her, I just want to spend more time with her," Tom replied. "Please." Eddie smiled, she understood. Anita always took good care of April and Tom needed time with his daughter.

It took several days for a routine to be established, and Eddie struggled with that routine. Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday she slept at the apartment, the other days were for Tom. Slowly, he was recovering from the surgery, but it was clear his heart was failing and that he would need more and more care as time went on. Jamie did his best to be supportive and patient, but another delay to make their family was difficult for him to bear.

Eddie was helping Tom into bed, he was tired and needed rest. "There you go lay down. Do you need anything else before you go to sleep?"

"Stay with me," he whispered. His chest was tight and he felt sick to his stomach. The medication. It was Eddie's night at the apartment but the look on Tom's face stopped her.

"Sure, Tom close your eyes and rest I'm right here." Eddie took his hand staying with him until he fell asleep. When he did Eddie called Jamie to let him know

"Yeah, that's fine," Jamie sighed. Eddie could hear Max crying in the background.

"What happened to Max?" Eddie asked.

Jamie couldn't tell her the truth, that the boy was manifesting his own feelings. He missed his Mommom and had been crying for Eddie for hours. "He's just over tired."

"Oh, give him a big hug and kiss from me. I'm sorry Jamie, he's really bad tonight. I can't leave him like this."

"I understand," Jamie replied. "I do. I love you..." He moved Max onto his lap, his cries were desperate, "Mommom..." Eddie heard the soft plea.

"Oh, Maxy, Mommom is coming tomorrow, I promise. I love you so much. I love you too, Jamie, thanks for understanding."

Eddie hung up, it hurt to hear Max crying his heart out. She bit her lip then turned her attention to Tom.

Tom slept soundly getting the rest he needed with Eddie looking over him.

The following day, Eddie made a point of going to the apartment to see Jamie and Max. She brought April with her, a platter of fried chicken and some mac and cheese. She let herself in to find Max in mid tantrum, he was not taking the separation well.

"Aww, what's wrong my Maxy? Hi, Max Mommom, is here come give me hugs."

Max threw his truck and kicked his feet up and down. "He's not been a very well behaved little boy today."

"Oh, Mommom doesn't like hearing that. What's wrong, Maxy? Why aren't you behaving?"

He reached out to Eddie with chubby arms, wanting to be held and cuddled.

Eddie took him rubbing his back. "Show Mommom what's wrong. What's the matter with my Max?"

Eddie held on tight to the baby as he cried. He babbled on but none of it made much sense. "He's been having a hard time since you've..." Jamie sighed. "Since you were spending more time with Tom. He's..."

"Oh, Max honey, I'm sorry. I will always come back to you... hold onto Mommom, it's okay." Eddie rubbed his back slowly.

Eddie put the boy on her lap, "Look at Mommom. I love you very much and I will always be here for you. Sit with me now..." Eddie rocked him while April patted his leg and looked up at Jamie. "Chick...um, April... " Her mother's daughter.

Jamie picked her up smiling while he hugged her. "Hi pretty girl, let me guess you're hungry. Come on, let's feed you."

Max refused to let go of Eddie, he held onto her even as he ate his supper. He finally relented around midnight, when he was too tired to stay awake anymore.

"It's time for bed, Max. Let's tuck you in and Mommom will sing you a nice song," Eddie lifted the small boy carrying him to his bed.

Hugs and songs seemed to settle things for Max, and Eddie tried twice as hard to make sure she properly divided her time. Still, as time wore on, Eddie had a harder time spreading herself between both families. Some nights when Eddie needed to be at the apartment, Tom was ill, other nights, he wanted April to stay and April wanted her mother.

It was nearly two weeks since Jamie had seen Eddie. Max was adjusting again to not having her, but Jamie...a six pack was his friend.

It was getting to the point where Jamie couldn't count on any predictable schedule with Eddie. Her Tom days were set, but the Jamie days were contingent on Tom's health. Jamie had a hard time sleeping, and now he was going to be working swing. The daycare Max like closed before his tour would end, so he reached out to Danny and Linda for help.

Linda came to pick Max up before Jamie headed to work. "Thanks for helping me with him," Jamie replied. "I've got back to back tours this week and I don't know if Eddie's going to be keeping her promise about her days here. Here's his bag."

"I'm more than happy to watch Max; we're going to have a good time. Don't worry he'll be fine." Linda offered a soft smile.

Jamie nodded, and got his own bag to head out to work. "See you later, Maxy. Daddy loves you. Be a good boy for Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda."

Linda looked down at Max smiling, "Hey buddy, ready to have fun with Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda?" She lifted Max up tickling his arm.

"Fun...Max ball," he proclaimed with a smile. Linda took the boy out and Jamie headed off to work. He had no idea how eventful that would be.

Not a half hour into Jamie's tour the radio came alive, "Please be aware you have a woman threatening to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. Please respond."

Jamie rogered the call and hit the lights, he hated jumpers, but he did have a pretty good record of talking them down.

When he arrived, a young woman stood on the outer barrier of the bridge holding on while looking down at the water.

"Miss... Hey," Jamie said softly. "Would you mind stepping back over the barrier please? I know it's a pretty view, but it's safer on this side." He played it cool.

She didn't look at him, her arms were shaking as she held on lightly. "Leave me alone."

"Oh, I can't do that," Jamie replied. "You see, I really need someone to talk to. I'm having a pretty rough day, and my partner well...he's got other things on his mind. I was hoping maybe we could talk."

The woman turned looking at him with a "is this guy serious" look. "Yeah, me too. I'm not the best person to talk to right now."

"Well, you never know until you try," Jamie replied. "First, I need you to come over to this side of the rail. I'm afraid of heights, but if my rookie over there finds out...ooh hee."

"No! Stay away! Stay right there! I can't help you, I can't help anyone! I'm not a chicken I'm going to do it, there's only one choice."

"Okay," Jamie replied. "If you insist, do you have a permit for this? If you don't, I can write you a note, and you can go and get the permit. I'll even drive you."

He looked at him, "You need a permit really? Everything is so messed up and in a minute it really won't matter."

"Oh, it will," Jamie replied. "You see, if you don't actually die, and chances are, with all the folks down there, you won't, you get arrested. I'll tell you what, I'll give you the permit right now, and you can be on your way. Deal?"

He looked down at the water frowning, "I don't see any people down there. I'm going to do it." Her fingers slowly started to move.

Jamie moved a little closer, "There, you see..." He pointed to the fire trucks, other cops, and several people. "So... here you go..." Jamie reached out with a piece of paper in his hand. When the jumper went to take it, Jamie got a hold of her and pulled.

She screamed and tried to grab the railing and pull back out of his grasp, but not with much force allowing Jamie to get on the other side.

Jamie wrapped her in his arms, "Nothing is as bad as it seems. Nothing...we can get you help. I know someone that can help. "

"You do?" the woman sobbed. "Will you come with me?" She looked up at him, eyes round and wet, a scared twinkle in them.

"You bet I will, come on...you and me. We're in this together, every step of the way. Come on...It's going to be all right." Jamie let the woman off the bridge, the crowds began to clap. Jamie put her in the car and turned it for Robert's office. They could both use a talk with the best shrink in town.


	130. Chapter 130

Chapter One Hundred Thirty

The rest of tour was quiet after that call. Jamie returned to the precinct to pats on his back. He changed and headed to Frank's house letting himself in. "Anyone home? Dad?"

"Well, there he is," Frank smiled "My son, the hero of the Brooklyn Bridge. I just spoke to the girls' grandparents, she's going to be fine. You did an excellent job, Son!"

Jamie smiled shyly, "Do you know everything that happens on every tour in every borough? Thanks Dad, just glad she's going to be okay."

"I'm the Commissioner so I do know everything, including that your CO put you up for a medal," Frank replied. "And this time, I'm signing off. Not every day a cop that's not even trained in ESU talks a 14-year-old girl off a bridge."

Jamie paused in surprised, "He did really? I'm just glad the girl is okay. I was afraid she was really going to jump," he sighed.

"Sometimes they do, but I think she needed someone to care, and you did that today for her Jamie."

He smiled a bit, "Glad I was there then." They sat at the table across from each other. Frank had never been prouder.

Jamie threw himself into his work, he needed to keep his mind off the touchy things. The commendation went through, Jamie's ceremony was the second Tuesday in September. Tuesday was a Tom day, there was no way he was going to see Eddie that day.

Jamie sighed looking at his reflection in the mirror wearing his dress blues wishing Eddie could be there for this, but she didn't know about it.

He didn't want to even tell her, she was wrapped up in her life with Tom. Jamie had moved back in with Frank right after the rescue and she hadn't been to the apartment once to notice. He didn't want to hear her tell him no. Jamie needed help with Max and he knew it was best for both of them, he missed her terribly but realized if she didn't do this for Tom she would feel guilty and regret it for the rest of her life.

Eddie had religiously kept up with face timing Max but she and Jamie hadn't really spoken in depth in a while. In a text last week, she mentioned Tom had his first PT that day, she would certainly be there.

The entire 12th turned out for the ceremony, Kara was there, looking around for her friend. Eddie had been so busy they hadn't had time to talk and catch up about Luke.

Eddie was nowhere to be seen as the medal recipients took their seats, Frank stood up clearing his throat approaching the podium.

Kara grabbed her phone and sent a text to Eddie, "Turn on the TV. Jamie's getting a medal for valor."

Frank smiled shaking the hand of an officer he had just decorated. "Next for his bravery in saving the life of a teenage girl while putting his own life in danger I present Officer Jamison Reagan with the Medal for Valor."

After Tom's first PT session at the house, Eddie was out running errands when she got the text, five minutes from the apartment. She hurried inside and was hit with the musty odor of a room closed up for weeks or more. She turned on the TV, and there was her Jamie, smiling as Frank pinned a medal to his chest. She didn't know, he hadn't even told her...

Eddie texted Kara back, "He never even told me, I'd have been there." She knew it would have been hard to do it, but she would have tried. She knew she'd been too involved in Tom lately, she hadn't even had a music lesson with Max. She was at her wits end. "What's happening here, Kara?"

Kara texted back, "I heard Danny say the family is going to dinner at Aunt Bucci's tonight around 7. Maybe you put on your best dress and go meet him there, show him you're still engaged in the relationship. If you need a sitter for April…"

"No, April is with Tom tonight," Eddie replied. "That's a good idea. He hasn't even been staying at the apartment, Kara. It's all hot and stuffy, the A/C is all dusty…

"Just reach out, let him know even though you are busy that you still love him, that you are making time for him. You are one of the strongest couples I know and as far as I'm concerned it's solely your responsibility to fix this."

Eddie thanked Kara then went to the fridge for a soda. She saw the bottle had gone flat and the milk had spoiled. Jamie had moved out on their life, and it was her fault! Where was he living now?"

Eddie felt tears running down her face. He had left their home, he hadn't even told her.

Eddie took her nicest skirt and blouse out of the closet and put it on. Jamie and Max's clothes were gone, Max' toys were gone…it was all gone. Eddie took a deep breath, she had to make this dinner. She had to make things right.

The entire family was already at the restaurant when Eddie arrived. Jamie was the center of that room, Max on his hip, the little boy pointing at something he wanted. This was their moment, the family. She should be in there, in that room with April on her own hip. How could she upset Jamie on this special day? Eddie was about to leave when Frank stepped up behind her.

"He'll be so happy you're here," Frank said softly. "How's Tom?"

"He's had his first physical therapy and he hopefully will be stronger soon," Eddie replied. "I don't…I was by the apartment and it's nearly…"

Eddie had tears in her eyes, as she looked up at Frank. "This is all my fault. I was so caught up in making Tom's final days comfortable and being a support to him that I wasn't supporting Jamie and Max."

Frank looked her squarely in the eyes, "I think you need Jamie as much as he needs you. You would never have been able to desert Tom at a time like this, that's time you'll never be able to get back, Jamie will understand.

Jamie spied his father speaking to Eddie. He handed Max to Linda and went to speak to her. Frank graciously stepped aside so the pair could talk. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" Eddie asked. "I'd have tried to be there."

"I didn't want you to feel like you had to choose, it's Tuesday and Tuesdays are always Tom days. You texted that he had his first PT. He needs you 100%."

Eddie nodded, "Still, this was a big moment for you. I should have been there…"

"You are doing what you have to do, And I did what I had to do…" Jamie replied. "While Tom is sick, we have to make allowances."

Eddie nodded, "You could have told me, I'm so proud of you Jamie.' Eddie leaned up to give him a firm kiss on the lips. Jamie's arms wrapped around her and he touched their foreheads together. "You left our apartment?" Eddie whispered.

"Max was…I needed help with him, I kept meaning to tell you about it but we don't' really talk. We only text a few times a day."

Eddie sighed, she knew she had been neglectful.

"Stay, we just ordered family style, we can…"

Eddie was about to agree, even though she could only stay a short time. Tom was alone with April since Sue wasn't home yet and Anita needed the night off. "Hey, Jamie!" His newest partner was calling him to come back inside. "Just a minute…"

It was overwhelming for her to be there. She still felt like a fish out of water around most of Jamie's family, and with the way things had gone now. Still she nodded, she wanted to be with Jamie, even if just for a little while. "I can only stay to eat then I have to go home, Tom's there with April by himself, Sue isn't home yet and it's Anita's niece's birthday. I'm sorry for how things are going now Jamie. I truly am, I love you more than anything. Don't doubt that."

"It's fine…" Jamie wondered fleetingly if "fine" meant the same coming from a man as it did a woman, because if he spoke honestly, he was not "fine" at all.

Jamie took off to the men's room. Seeing Eddie walk not an hour later was too much to handle. Danny saw his brother sneak off and followed him in, he knew the separation from Eddie had been taking its toll. "Jamie, hey, you in there?"

Danny saw his younger brother, in the corner of the bathroom, washing his face. It was clear how upset Jamie was. "You could have told her, you could have given her a chance."

"No, I'd have only made it harder on her and I don't want to make it harder on her, I don't. I just…I miss our life together, Danny. We were making a home in that apartment, we were finally making a life and now…"

"Life happened again and you love Eddie…" Danny replied. "The thing you love about her is the thing that's bothering you right now. I know it sucked not having her there."

"I asked her to stay, but she had to go," Jamie replied. "It's hurting her too, I can see it's hurting her too and I hate the feelings I have about her caring for Tom. I' m trying to be supportive but…"

"But you're waiting for him to kick the bucket and for your life to go back like it was before," Danny replied. "That's you being human kid. That's all you being human."

"I miss her, Danny," Jamie whispered. "I miss our family. I had to get out of that apartment, that's where we were a family together and I just couldn't bear it…"

"I know," Danny sighed. "I know, I get it. But you must decide if you want to just cool your heels until Tom dies or fight for your family. Go there, spend time with her there if you must. Tell her you support her choice not to move forward with the divorce but neglecting you and Max must stop. I'm sure she's just preoccupied and not managing well. I'm sure she needs you as much as you need her."

Danny couldn't be more right. Just outside the door, Kara had paused on her way to the ladies room. She heard Jamie's voice…there was a telltale hitch in it, he was near tears. So much mess, her two closest friends and there was so much mess. It wasn't fair, not at all. She would speak to Danny about this later.

Eddie cried the whole way back to Manhasset. Her heart hurt that she had to leave Jamie's dinner early, but more than that, he didn't think she'd care about his award. She loved him and Max so much, but there was terrible stress trying to keep up with Tom's care. She had hoped to be able to rely more on Sue, but the older woman couldn't handle caring for Tom's needs. She had to figure out a better balance, she could not lose Jamie and she felt, even as supportive as he was, that he was pulling away.

It was clear to Anita that Eddie was upset, "What's the matter Mrs. Eddie? Are you all right?"

"Not now, Anita," Eddie replied. "But I think I will be if I have a talk with Tom. Is he awake?" Eddie asked.

"No, he's still asleep. Sit down with me for tea first, then you can wake him to talk. It's all right? Is it a problem with Mr. Jamie?"

Eddie took the tea Anita offered her, "I'm just not…I'm not handling my time well and people, Jamie and Max, are getting hurt."

"And you," Anita replied. "You are hurting too. You need to talk to Mr. Tom and to Sue. Set a few boundaries, make a few rules. You stayed cause it's right, but it's not right to lose your family and you might if you don't nurture both. But worse, you will lose you, you will lose yourself because you need to be nurtured and Mr. Tom can't do that. Talk to him. I will wake him up, you finish your tea. I will change Miss April."

Eddie smiled at Anita, she always had good advice, the proper perspective. "Okay, thanks Anita. I needed that."

"Yes," Anita agreed firmly. "You did."

It was plain as day to Tom that Eddie was very upset. "Eddie, talk to me," Tom said reaching for her hand. "You look so sad."

Eddie nodded, "I am Tom, I am very sad and we need to talk. We really do."

"Okay…" Tom gave Eddie his full attention.

"We both made the wrong choice when we chose to get married," Eddie began. "It's not that I didn't care for you, but neither of us married our soulmates."

"I know, Eddie," Tom replied. "Do you think I'm taking advantage?"

"No, no," Eddie hastened to reply. "Nothing like that. But you need to spend this time with Sue and I'm going to talk to her as well about helping more. I need help with your care." Eddie said before running on, her anxiety over the possible cost too great. "I can't lose Jamie because if I lose him I lose a big part of myself. Please understand I need to split my time between here and there I know Sue will care for you, Anita is here, I would never leave you unattended. And I will be here half the time but I have to nurture that relationship as well if I lose him I lose myself."

Tom held Eddie's hands, "I know…I know and I feel terrible that you're so divided. Sue, she's good at comforting but not at caregiving."

Eddie stood up and called out, "Sue, can you come in here and talk with us please?"

Sue stepped into the room, "Is everything all right?"

"No," Eddie replied. "Tom and I were just talking about my needing to split my time more evenly between him and Jamie. I've been neglecting Jamie and Max and I cannot lose that relationship. We don't know how much time you and Tom have together, could be the year or it could be less. You should be together, there's nothing to be afraid of."

Sue sighed, "I'll try, I just don't want to hurt him. I'll step up, I'll learn to do more. I want to do more." She firmly held Tom's hand.


	131. Chapter 131

Chapter One Hundred Thirty One

Two days later, Eddie and Kara pushed their way into the apartment loaded down with bags, paint swatches and other types of remodeling items. "I like the light blue for Max's room with the music notes and instruments, it's exactly who he is. And for April, I'm still going back and forth between a deep pink paint with animals or the yellow with the butterflies."

"I think she's more of an animal girl," Kara replied. "And I also think that Jamie is going to be really touched by all this."

"I called him yesterday and we talked for like a half hour,' Eddie replied. "Remember how I had Max almost potty trained? He's almost entirely back in diapers now. I tried, and I failed, I can't do that again. This is my life and my family, this is my future. I have to seize the day."

Kara smiled, "I'm so glad that we are doing this and that you asked me to help. Keeps me from missing Luke too much. We skype but…I'm going to fly out to Montana in a month or so and then he'll be out this way in October."

"I'm happy for you Kara," Eddie replied. "You deserve to be happy too. Let's pick the final color for the bedroom. I'm liking the blue theme, that color is very me and Jamie."

Kara agreed turning to help Eddie picking out a soft blue. "This one is nice a good shade of blue, what do you think Eddie?

"Yes, and maybe the grey to accent it. Oh, look at the comforter I picked out. " Eddie showed off a deep blue comforter, silk... That chaise will go over there and the tables will be on either side with candles. It'll be our special space."

Over the next few days, the beds were delivered. Max's bed was shaped like a bass clef, dark cherry wood and a little railing for his safety. April's bed was shaped like a teddy bear. Eddie selected a very pretty animals border for her. Each child had a table to color on, and a toy box for their own toys. There was a rocker in each room. The kids were growing up.

After a week of hard work, Eddie was ready to show Jamie what she had done for their life, and to make the connection once again. She would not lose that, not again.

Eddie looked around with a smile happy at how everything was coming along excited to call Jamie. Taking her cell phone out Eddie called him.

"Hey, good to hear your voice!" Jamie replied. "Maxy sit down. Be a good boy."

"Hey, Jamie," Eddie greeted. "I was thinking, dinner tonight at Mitch's, I know you are off and I'm sure your dad will watch Max. Can you make it?"

"Yeah, I really miss you Eddie. I know you've had a lot going on. I'd love to see you. Let me call Dad and ask but I'm sure he won't mind," Jamie said.

"If he can't I already have Kara standing by," Eddie replied. "I'll see you at six and Jamie...it'll be a late night."

Jamie smiled on his side knowing what that meant and promised to meet her. He hung up calling his father asking if he could watch Max overnight

At precisely six, Jamie and Eddie met on the corner by the restaurant. He was a vision in tight jeans and a button-down shirt. Eddie wore a black halter dress with a white trim, wedge sandals, and her hair down around her shoulders. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

Jamie slipped his arms around her waist hugging her tightly. "I missed you so much."

"I miss you too," Eddie replied. "And I have a surprise for you, bend at your knees please."

Jamie gave her a weird look laughing but does it, "Am I bowing down to you?"

"Just do it, Reagan," Eddie laughed, then tied a handkerchief around his eyes. "I have a surprise." Eddie took Jamie by the hand and led him toward the apartment. When Jamie stepped inside he smelled fresh paint, clean linen, and other delightful aromas. "Where are we Eddie?" he asked as she pulled the blindfold off. "Home," Eddie replied softly. "We're home."

He looked around stepping in turning his head in all directions amazed at how new the apartment looked. "Wow, did you do this Eddie? The apartment looks amazing."

"It was a shock when I realized you moved out of here, Jamie. This is our home together. This is where we are going to live when...at least for the time being and to see it musty and dusty with expired milk...I was neglecting you and us, I was wrong to do that. So, this past week, I wanted to make this home. Come see, the kids have their own rooms now.!"

Jamie was so shocked at the sentiment he followed Eddie quietly still looking around. The apartment looked brand new like a small home for their family. He stepped into the bedroom eyes brightening. "The room looks great Eddie, Max is going to love it."

"April's room is just across the way," Eddie led him to see the girls room. "Oh, Eddie…they are going to be so happy. All new things…but this must have cost…"

"Not really, I held things down," Eddie replied. "Lots of two for one sales. This is our room…" Eddie led Jamie to the master bedroom, decorated in blues and greys, a queen size bed and a double chaise for snuggling. There were strawberries and champagne chilling on a little table by the chaise lounge, candles in the wall sconces…the mood for romance was set.

Jamie turned pulling her closer placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, then lips. "Eddie, I love it the apartment it feels like a home now. I can't believe you did all this, it's incredible."

"Dinner is all ready but before we eat, come look what I have in the kitchen..."Eddie was bouncing with excitement. She hung a calendar on the wall that was filled with his days working, her days working and with Tom, the children's activities, all their appointments, she noted their family days with happy faces and had signed her name on the bottom, her commitment to be there. "You sign too, it's our pact...all of these dates here, we keep to them. We won't neglect each other again."

Happy to oblige Jamie took a pen signing his name, looking back to kiss her. "That's a great idea Eddie. I can't wait for our family time and neither will the kids."

"Now though, is Mommy and Daddy time," Eddie smiled. "I got soul food, brisket, yams, collards for you...come now."

Taking her hand Jamie followed Eddie pulling the chair out smiling as, she sat down eyes locked. "Everything looks so good Eddie."

"Including you," Eddie smiled. 'You serve...I'll pour the wine."

Jamie served making her a plate first then his own. Jamie reached his hand across the table to cup Eddie's with a smile. "Thanks for doing this Eddie. "

"Thanks for putting up with me," Eddie replied. "I never wanted you or Max to hurt. I hurt...but...I deserve it, I'm...I feel so guilty sometimes, but the worst thing I could do was keep on this way. I am committed to you and our family...and this, I hope will solidify that." Eddie handed Jamie a small velvet box containing a black onyx band. "Wear this...as I wear mine, in love..."

Jamie's voice cracked as she put the ring on his finger staring at it with a smile. "Eddie. I know you never meant to hurt us, especially Max you love him so much. You are his mom. It got to be too much for you, I tried to support you, I should have spoken up sooner, instead of just leaving."

Eddie nodded, 'We made our mistakes. We're home now, though. We're home now, we have our room, the children have theirs across the hall…this is home and I will sleep in this bed every night, that is a promise. I might have to be with Tom during the day sometimes or until late, but I will sleep in this bed every night." They clasped hands, Jamie noticed she now only wore his ring.

His eyes watered a little, "That sounds good Eddie then to being home," he raised a glass in salute to them and their future. "That sounds good."

They didn't know who started it, was it Eddie's soft brush of her lips or Jamie's strong arms, but soon the dinner was left alone and they were circling each other, eyes locked on one another. Jamie's hands wound in Eddie's hair, their lips kept brushing over each other tenderly and happily. It had been a long time for them, and they terribly missed that special bond, the connection only they could have with each other.

Jamie laid her on the bed, her dress fell away and her bare bosom spilled out to his full view. "Close your eyes, honey" Jamie whispered. "Close your eyes and feel. Don't think, just feel."

With her eyes shut, her concentration centered on her body and what was happening to it. What Jamie was doing to it. Color swirled behind her eyelids. Heat surged through her, followed rapidly by a chill that wasn't really a chill, but rather a ripple of almost painful delight. Her skin felt sensitive, her heart pounding in her chest.

His fingers reached inside her, rasping her delicate inner folds. Helplessly she arched her hips, taking his touch deeper within. Her thighs fell open, giving him easy access. Her heart was thundering and she felt as if she might fly apart. She clutched his shirt, her fingers digging into the flesh beneath as she tried to anchor herself against the storm that was building within her.

She heard him whisper his love, but the clarity of the words were lost on her. The words weren't important, she could hear the fierce tenderness in his tone, and that was what she needed. His fingers slipped in and out of her, and she made a soft sound of delight. He stripped her of her panties, and her thighs parted even more, she felt the eager dampness between them. He held her tightly against him, subduing her sensual struggles. He was talking to her, words low and hoarse in her ear, encouraging her to greater heights while his strength kept her grounded. He continued tormenting her with each touch making the fire hotter throbbing between her legs. Passion was a brand, searing her flesh with its invisible mark.

"Jamie!" It was a wail of almost anguish. He tilted her head back and set his mouth on hers, his tongue repeating the invasive movements of his fingers, the pressure hard and rough. She reveled in it, reaching up to cling to his shoulders, offering her mouth more fully to him.

It built quickly, the time they had missed drove them to incredible heights. The sensation spiraled tighter and tighter, and suddenly it was too much. Her entire body clenched, then surged as her climax rolled through her in waves. She shook in uncontrollable spasms. He held her close, letting her know she wasn't alone in the tempest. She cried out in a thin hoarse voice, and he muffled her cries with his own mouth.

Repeatedly, Eddie and Jamie road the wave of sensation home. Jamie held her close to him, muffling her cries with the flesh of his neck. When their bodies were still, and her muscles has ceased to clamp down around him, they laid in one another's arms, still, content, and if possible in deeper and greater love than before.

Eddie's eyes felt heavy, she sighed and breathed in the scent of Jamie. He ran his hand through her hair and down her back, the image of her burned in his mind. If he lived to be 100, he'd not forget tonight, this moment here and now, he'd never forget it. Not ever.

A few days later Jamie and Eddie brought the kids to the apartment. Max was overjoyed to be back with Eddie. She held him on her hip and steered him to the bedroom. "Look Max, this is your room."

Max widened his eyes at the room looking at Eddie, "Max?" He patted his own chest then clapped happily squirming to get down so he could explore

"Yes," Jamie smiled. "Max's room? Look at your big boy bed!"

Max climbed up on his bed smiling up, "Max big!" Jamie smiled looping an arm around Eddie.

April climbed up on Max's new bed, "April bed!" She declared. Eddie smiled, "No, you have your own bed. Let's go see it." April slid off following Eddie excited to get her own big girl bed.

"I think you were a hit, Mommom," Jamie smiled. "Okay now it's time for dinner and then you can play. Who wants chicken stars?!"Both kids raised their little hands. Jamie winked at Eddie cupping her hand in his kissing her cheek.

Dinner was a fun family affair. Jamie watched how April ate, she fed herself well, but she bit off the points on her stars first then ate the middle. Max just dove in. Jamie reached over showing Max how to eat. "Look see buddy, like that." he sighed quietly.

Eddie raised her eyebrows, "Jamie, he is fine. He's two, he's eating fine."

"I worry Eddie, look at how nice April eats. He should learn and the younger the better right."

"No," Eddie replied. "April is the one that is different. She is very advanced, Max is a regular healthy perfect kid."

Jamie sighed leaning back eyes locked with his son watching Max go back to eating the way he was. "I worry about him Eddie. "

"Here watch..." Eddie took a small fork and gave it to Max. "Here, use the fork for Mommom." Max looked at it and tried scooping up his chicken to eat it.

"Good boy!" Eddie praised. "There you go." Jamie turned his attention back to April. She was done and holding out her greasy fingers. "Daddy wash."

Sighing Jamie let it go allowing Max to eat but kept an eye on him while Eddie cleaned April up.


	132. Chapter 132

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Two

While Eddie did bedtime with Max, Jamie held April on his lap. She was wound up and not tired. "You want to play with the puzzle?"

"Puzzle," April agreed sitting on his lap while she put all the pieces in their correct spots clapping

Jamie watched her do it. She started from the middle and built from there. She put the obvious pieces together then figured out the filler. Joe did puzzles like that, their whole family did. He pulled another puzzle over watching her do the same thing again. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't hear Eddie come in.

"Puzzles at bedtime, Jamie?" Eddie asked. "Come on, April. Give kisses, it's bedtime."

"She's wound up still." Jamie wondered if he should mention what he saw to Eddie.

"Do you want to rock her?" Eddie asked. "She will rest if you rock her."

Jamie nodded taking April in his arms rocking the little girl to and fro. Her eyes closed slowly. She was so sweet and content, she nuzzled to him.

"Good night April," Jamie kissed the top of her head as the little girl fell asleep in his arms. Jamie smiled as he carried her to her room.

Jamie and Eddie opened a couple beers and sat down in the chaise in their room. Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "We have our family back."

"We sure do and for keeps." He moved an arm around Eddie kissing the top of her head.

"Do you think they'll do okay in their own beds?" Eddie worried.

"They'll be fine," Jamie smiled holding Eddie close, glad to have her there with their family again.

"I wanted to talk to you about Max's music. Now that he is two, we can shop around for a proper music teacher for him, he needs that to grow his talent."

"You think he's old enough? Two is still very young, Eddie. What if he isn't interested?"

"He's very talented, and he needs to develop that talent. We did agree that two would be right. Teachers will take him at two."

Jamie nodded "Let's look around for a teacher, start researching who's qualified. He does really enjoy it."

"It's not only about enjoyment," Eddie replied. "He's very talented. He could go to Julliard."

"You think so, Eddie? That's a very prestigious school, very difficult to get into even if you have talent," Jamie said thoughtfully.

"Well, we have sixteen years, but he could. April can go to Harvard or Vassar. We'll do it."Jamie smiled quietly taking a sip from his beer brushing his fingers down Eddie' s arm.

They fell asleep curled up on the chaise, each glad to have their family back.

Max began his music with Ms. Ellen in the beginning of October. He showed a great aptitude for the piano, and of course, sang like an angel. Jamie and Eddie took turns taking him always asking how he was doing.

"He cries when you leave, but otherwise he does great," she smiled. "He's very talented."

Jamie smiled, "Thank you very much. He's very attached to both of us." Jamie took Max's hand and took him to meet Eddie at the Halloween costume store.

Max smiled reaching his arms out to Eddie "Mommom," he called going to her.

Eddie smiled, "Were you a good boy?"

"He cried a little, but she said he was good," Jamie smiled.

"Good boy, you show Mommom and Daddy at home how you play like a big boy." Eddie put a little police hat on Max's head. "You look adorable, he's a mini you."

Jamie smiled, "He's going to stick to music, right buddy? Do you like that Max? Want to be a police officer like mommy and daddy?"

"No..." he laughed but smiled at the little costume. April had a matching one. Not terribly creative but awfully cute.

They family continued up and down the aisles looking at the available costumes. Max's eyes fell on a cute Dalmatian puppy costume. It was soft to the touch. He stopped to admire it. "Max, do you like the puppy? Do you want to be a puppy for Halloween?" Eddie asked him on her knees so she was at his eye level.

"Puppy!" Max said and clapped his hand. "Max puppy…"

"Arf, arf!" April made a puppy noise. "What if she was a kitty? April, look it's Marie!"

"Maee!" April loved the Aristocats movie. Soon it was decided Max was a puppy and April was a kitten. "Now we have to pick out for Mommy and Daddy." Jamie replied.

"Oh, I already picked those, you are going to be Major Nelson and I…" Eddie did a mock belly dance. "Am Jeannie with the long blond hair!"

"I'm going to need a real gun to keep the other guys off of you," Jamie smiled. "But you didn't even ask me?"

"No, because I know how cute we'll look!" Eddie replied. "It's our first party at the apartment, and I invited Luke. He's going to come in and surprise Kara. So, if she's asking you about going dressed as a cowgirl, back me up!"

Jamie shook his head, that was his Eddie.

The day of the party, Eddie got stuck at the Manhasset house until after four. Tom had a rough day and the doctor had been called to come out. They added oxygen treatments for a few days then if he wasn't better, a possible admission. Eddie was rattled when she arrived, but she found Jamie and Kara had the apartment scary and ready for the party. "Wow it looks great in here! Sorry I'm late," Eddie missed Jamie then tuned to Kara. "Thanks for helping decorate, Kara."

"Not to worry," Kara replied in a pair of tight denim jeans with bedazzles on them, a tight tank top and beaded jacket. She even had on brown and blue cowboy boots and a blue cowgirl hat. "How's Tom?"

Eddie sighed, "Not doing well. They said if he doesn't get better they'll have to admit him."

"Well, let's hope..." Kara replied. "Jamie is losing the Max costume battle. We'll take the kids to the 12th, then Matt will take my two and Commissioner Reagan will take your two and we'll party?" Eddie nodded. "Let me give Jamie a hand."

Eddie gave her friend a wide grin then headed back to see what was going on with Max. "Hey, Max."

Max was trying to put his shoes on, "Doggie shoes," he told Jamie. "Yes, over your shoes, Buddy."

"Hey Max, you look so cute! Need some help," Eddie went over.

"I just need help tying my tie," Jamie laughed. "He doesn't get that his puppy shoes go over his actual shoes." Eddie quickly fixed Max and Jamie's costumes, then got April up from her nap and ready to go out and trick or treat at the 12th. She was the cutest kitten ever.

"Now it's time for your costume," Jamie whispered in her ear taking April and Max so Eddie could get ready.

The skimpy little outfit was something else on Eddie's frame. She even put her hair in the super high ponytail and did her make up just like Barbara Eden had on the show. "Here's my bottle," she told Jamie giving him the accessory.

Jamie took the prop, but his eyes were glued on her. "Whoa, Eddie, you look amazing! Maybe show me a little more later," he grinned hugging her.

"You bet," Eddie replied. "My bottle. Jeannie's bottle, it's part of your costume. The Major was in control of Jeannie's bottle."

Jamie nodded, "Well, let's take these guys, Renzulli is going to flip when he sees how big the kids are."

They picked up the kids heading out to the 12th Halloween party. There were a lot of familiar faces already there in small groups talking.

"Go on in," Jamie encouraged Max and April. Max was holding April's hand, she was playing shy. Max turned to April, "Okay...April...Max..." He pointed to the doors waiting for her patiently so they could walk in together. Finally, holding his hand, April went through the door. Jamie and Eddie followed behind them.

Several friends greeted them even smiling at how cute the kids were, patting Jamie on the back. "There they are, Eddie she looks just like you," Renzulli gushed. "Those big blue eyes. Jamie, the hair on this boy..."

Jamie smiled, "Hey Sarge, good to see you. How's your wife?" He laughed recalling Renzulli telling him about his wife when they rode together.

"She's great, she's over by the food. He doesn't like his dog head, huh?" Jamie shook his head and took Max's hand. "Let's go see Mrs. Renzulli, then we'll let them get some candy before she freaks." April was not a fan of crowds.

Taking Max by the hand Jamie picked him up going to where Marie was putting food on her plate. "Just wanted to come say hi. How are you ma'am?"

Eddie was bouncing April on her hip and tickling her belly. "You look good Janko, how's Tom?' Renzulli asked. "We miss his face around here, he always donated for the vests, and all that."

Eddie sighed, "He's having some heart issues, but I'll tell him you were asking for him when I go by to check on him."

Renzulli smiled and reached out to tickle April's belly again. She giggled and bestowed a beautiful smile. Renzulli had been admiring the pretty little girl, sporting so many of Eddie's features...her hair, her eyes, but the smile, while familiar was not her mother's...not at all

"You are the spitting image of your mommy, both beautiful. Does she have your appetite too Janko...Eddie?" Renzulli laughed.

"Yes," Eddie replied. "In fact, we're going to go get some candy. You want a lolli?"

"Lolli." April turned pointing at a table clapping her hands excited.

Both kids had their fill by the time Frank and his detail came to claim them. April was sound asleep on his shoulder, Max held his hand. Jamie and Eddie gave hugs and kisses then headed to the apartment for the more adult portion of the evening.

When Eddie, Jamie, and Kara arrived back at the apartment, Luke, in full cowboy dress, was waiting for them on the porch. "Oh my God...that's not Luke! Tell me that is not Luke and I'm in this!"

Eddie only grinned as Luke walked forward taking her hand. "My lady, Happy Halloween, Kara." He raised her hand and kissed it.

Kara blushed then jumped into Luke's arms, "How are you here?" she asked. "Oh, my God it's so good to see you. I missed you so much"

"Came to surprise you, I missed you a lot too." Luke hugged her tight.

Eddie beamed, she loved to see her friend as happy as she was. They headed inside, only no one else was there. "Surprise," Eddie laughed. "This is the party...just us and Michael Myers."

"You," Kara laughed linking arms with Luke giving Eddie a grateful smile.

"Consider it a huge thank you for all you have done for me and Jamie...We'll get the refreshments, you go get reacquainted." Holding hands, Luke and Kara walked to the couch settling against each other.

Jamie and Eddie held each other and smiled, "We look like that, don't we?" he whispered.

"Yes, we are that much in love" Eddie whispered leaning up to kiss his cheek.

The two couples sat together, watching scary movies, laughing, sharing food and drink. Just before midnight, Kara and Luke headed out. They had chosen to take their relationship slow, they headed for an all-night diner. Jamie and Eddie headed for each other.

Jamie captured Eddie's waist kissing her softly. "Did you have fun tonight? You look amazing Eddie," he smiled.

The pink sheer pantaloons highlighted her shapely legs, and the belly baring top cupped her bosom. Jamie put his hand on her sides, "I don't dream of Jeannie," he whispered. "I dream of you."

Eddie smiled wrapping her arms around him, "I dream of you every night and tonight we're together."

"Yes, we are..." Jamie tipped his head and moved his lips over Eddie's. She reached her hand up and caressed his cheek. "Let's dream together...all night."

They walked each other into their bedroom, their lips never parting, their hands exploring, always finding something new and exciting. Jamie had been thinking of this time with Eddie all night, she looked so sexy, good enough to eat.

It always surprised Eddie, and delighted her, how Jamie could drive her insane with just his kiss. He was pulling back the veils revealing to his eye the treasure the minimalist costume kept hidden. "This costume is a keeper for date nights," Jamie whispered. "You look so hot in that outfit. Now come here, your wish is my command."

Eddie licked her lips, "That's my line!"

Each time they were together, the sensations were unreal, only true lovers could feel this way. He held her tight and worked magic on her body with his hands and lips, driving her into a wild frenzy.

When the crest of that sensation subsided, though small shock waves continued to ripple through her body, she went limp, her face buried against her chest while she gasped for breath. He shifted her, then his muscles tenses beneath her and he got to his feet, holding her firmly in his arms. She gripped his shirt as he carried her to the bed and placed her down. Her costume was hanging on her shoulders, and he pulled it completely away, then stood and began stripping off his own clothes.

Eddie lay unmoving, enveloped in a lassitude so complete that she thought she might never move again. In that quiet state of subconsciousness, with her physical senses so acute and her mental processes barely functioning, she could feel every slow, heavy beat of her heart. Her pulse throbbed in the tender places of her body.

She watched him undress. His urgency was almost palpable, his movements swift and heavy with need. In only seconds, he was bare. He crawled over her, his hard thighs pushing between hers and forcing them wide, then settled his weight on her.

There was a stillness, a silence, both without and within. She felt the hardness against her yielding softness. He braced himself on one strong arm and slowly began pushing into her.

Eddie's breath tangled in her throat, and she felt herself drowning in sensation. Her attention was wholly focused on their bodies. Her mind was blank, she wanted Jamie so, she wanted this. She shut her eyes, savoring every moment. She loved his roughness, the savagery of his hunger. She loved the helpless groans that escaped him, the heat and sweat as his body coiled and struck. She wished it could go on forever.

Still, this, like all good things, had to come to an end. When he had stopped shaking, when the last small quake had rippled through him, she opened her arms and he weakly let himself sink into them. His weight crushed her into the mattress, but she was too happy to care. His dark head rested beside hers on the pillow. His face was turned toward her, and his warm breath washed over her neck.

She stroked his back, loving the feel of his heated skin beneath her palms. He was drifting into sleep, so was she. She was limp with contentment. Only heaven could be better than this, lying in the aftermath of lovemaking, the man she loved sleeping cradled in her body and her arms. She wanted to stand still in this place, and so did he.


	133. Chapter 133

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Three

The weeks between Halloween and Thanksgiving blended into one large clump of time. Tom's health was on the upswing and he was spending more time with Sue. Eddie kept her promises, keeping each important date on the calendar. She had Max steadily using the potty for poo poo and almost perfectly for pee pee. He just needed the mother's touch.

The Monday before Thanksgiving, Jamie approached Eddie about the holiday. "What are we going to do? I know Tom wants to spend it with April and so do you."

"I was thinking about that," Eddie replied. 'What if you and Max had Thanksgiving dinner with us at the house in Manhasset, then we can have dessert with your family in Brooklyn."

"Won't Tom mind?" Jamie asked.

"No, he's doing better, he's happy to have Sue there, but he did almost insist to spend time with April, so…"

"Okay," Jamie quickly agreed. "We'll do that. I'll let Dad and Linda know. Tom has the right, it might be his last so if he wants to have it with his daughter, so be it."

Eddie gave Jamie a big hug, they really had worked things out.

Eddie spent the night before Thanksgiving cooking some simple family dishes, Anita was responsible for the bigger spread. This year, Thanksgiving would be an intimate affair. Usually, Tom invited several business associates, but this year he was keeping it down to just the family, including Sue and Jamie.

The traffic was horrendous getting out to Manhasset, "Sing it for Mommom, Max…We gather together…" Eddie began and soon the baby was singing sweetly. "You sing that for Mr. Tom, okay? Show him how well you sing?"

"Max sing," he replied and sang again.

They arrived a little before noon to Tom sitting in the living room with Sue. There was a tray of cheese and crackers out, the cheese was already sliced so the kids could eat it on their own. April tried to match the cheese and crackers, it bothered her that the cheese was square and the crackers were round. She pulled the corners off before she ate.

Jamie shook his head and watched her. Max made little sandwiches out of his crackers and each drank milk.

The adults sat down and enjoyed some cider with a smile. It was really as if they had known each other for years as couples. Tom held Sue's hand, Jamie put his arm around Eddie. They knew what they were thankful for this year. Each other.

"I don't want anything too grand," Eddie said as they enjoyed a heart healthy meal carefully prepared by Anita. "But I want her second birthday to be special."

"Of course," Tom replied. "Anything for my best girl." He tickled April's chin. "You're going to be 2."

At the word "two", Max's ears perked up. "I two!" he announced.

"Yes, you are," Eddie replied. "Now April is going to be two. You want to sing to her for her birthday?"

Max nodded and started to sing "Happy Birthday' then and there. "You weren't kidding when you said he was talented!" Tom declared. "That was a good."

"He's getting piano and voice twice a week," Jamie replied. "April is quite a smart little girl too. She has a very particular sense of order."

"What about a Christmas theme party? Elves, reindeer, Santa…" Sue suggested. "Not to overshadow her birthday with Christmas, two separate events but…"

"That's a really great idea," Eddie replied. "We'll have it here, we can do Italian for the adults and little pizzas for the kids. Pictures with Santa, a donkey ride…that place in Brooklyn does Dominic the Donkey rides…"

Jamie smiled, Eddie was in her element planning the kids' parties. "You know what I say, nothing is too good for my girl, so Eddie make the party as big or as small as you want to make it," Tom encouraged.

With Tom's blessing Eddie made some notes, she only had three weeks, and with the holidays it would be tight, but they could do it and it would be spectacular.

"A Christmas theme party!" Linda exclaimed. "That's going to be so cute!" She bounced April on her knee. 'You're going to be a big girl. Yes…She is so cute!"

Eddie smiled, "How did Frank do today?"

"He missed him, it hurt him that Pop is gone this year, this was his favorite holiday."

"Well, we had something cooked up we think will make everyone smile," Eddie replied. "Maxy, come here…"

Max went to his mother and smiled. "It's time, buddy…Come with Mommom…"

Eddie held his hands and they moved to the piano, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the musical stylings of Max Reagan…"

Everyone clapped as Max began to sick sweetly, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Thanksgiving had been perfect.

The house was decked out in all its Christmas glory, trees in the den and front rooms, holly from the bannister, and tables draped to look like ski slopes. April wore a red and white fur dress, Max was in a red suit. The party was starting in a few hours only this time it was more for adults than children.

Jamie watched the kids letting Eddie set up. He helped with anything she needed done. "April you look so pretty and Max you're handsome," he smiled.

"The food is almost done, Tom's been napping and Sue, bless her ran to get the florals, let me wake Tom and bring him out so he can receive his guests." Since Tom was back at work part time he had invited colleagues to the party.

Jamie nodded his head turning to the kids smiling. "Are you ready birthday girl?"

April gave him a big story about being two and Max followed them to the living room. Eddie shook Tom awake, "Hey, almost time to get ready for her party. I set up your shower."

Tom smiled opening his eyes looking right at her. "Hmm thanks I'm up."

"Good, you have about 100 people coming and there are only 12 kids. I laid out your black suit but no tie, it is a kid's party."

Tom smiled, "You're so good, okay." He stretched and yawned finally getting up giving her a hug on his way to the bathroom.

Eddie oversaw the rest of the set up while Tom showered. When she heard the water shut off she went to check on him, Sue hadn't returned yet.

In the bathroom, Tom sat on the ledge of his shower struggling to breath.

"Tom! Tom? You need help?"

Tom couldn't answer he sat leaned over trying to catch his breath.

Eddie was used to these spells, "Okay, let's go to the hospital, we can be back in time. You just need a little medicine "

"Can't." He shook his head not wanting to miss April's party

"Yes, you can," Eddie encouraged. "We can we'll leave in just a minute."

Eddie called the ambulance and in minutes they were in the way to the hospital. Jamie would send Sue when she returned and hold down the fort with Anita until Eddie could return.

The medics gave Tom something in the ambulance until reaching the hospital.

Eddie hoped this would be a fast trip and thanked God for Jamie and Anita making today special.

Jamie was smiling and shaking hands with New York high society, he didn't mention that Tom had been taken to the hospital or that Eddie and Sue were still both there. Eddie sent a few texts explaining Tom had some fluid around his lungs and in his legs. He would be allowed home when his oxygenation improved but he had to keep his legs elevated. Jamie passed that on to Anita to arranged for a nice recliner in the sitting room near the tree. Still, it would be after dinner before Eddie arrived home so Jamie had to host the rest of the party himself. He enlisted Frank, who hated crowds and politics, to deal with the business cronies, Jamie preferred to play with the 12 kids. They did Pin the Tail on the Reindeer, finger painted their own ornaments, and decorated little construction paper trees with stickers. For dinner, they ate pizza squares and cut up hot dogs. The only problem was April missed her Mommy and went off to find her in the big room.

There were all sorts of interesting things to eat on the tables. No one seemed to notice her, she was tiny for her age, and had her eyes on her Grandpa Frank. One of the party-goers had dropped a round, shiny food object onto the floor. April picked it up and looked at it. She put it to her lips and tasted it. It tasted bad and she spit it back onto the floor heading for Frank now with greater speed…until…

April's hand where she held the food started to itch, then rapidly swell. Her lips began to itch then swell, and finally her mouth and throat. She was scared and tried to cry. Frank's detective sense kicked in at the little whimpers, "Ssh, everyone please." His eyes fell on April, where she was on her knees, trying to cry but failing.

"Jamie!" Frank called. "That's my girl...Jamie!"

Jamie sprinted in from the kids party and saw Frank cradling April in his arms. "It's some kind of allergy, I didn't see what it was that she ate, but…"

Jamie nodded, "Mercy is a block and half from here, get Anita to call Eddie to meet us. "With all the cars in the driveway my car is blocked in...I'm just going to run."

Jamie cradled the baby girl in his arms and ran as fast as humanly possible to the hospital. "Help I need help, she can't breathe. She can't breathe!"

Two nurses took April from Jamie's arms, he sat down, shaking. The little girl was making the most horrible of noises and she was breaking out all over in hives. A doctor rushed over; little April disappeared behind the doors leaving Jamie to wait and wonder.

Eddie burst through the door and ran to where Jamie was waiting. "Where is she? Where is April?"

"The doctors are with her," Jamie soothed taking Eddie into his arms. "She's getting the best care she possibly can."

Eddie took a breath, "What did she eat or touch that she could possibly have been allergic to? She's never had trouble eating anything before."

"All I know for sure is she wandered into the adult party and ate something in there," Jamie replied. "She picked it up with her right hand and ate it, we could tell cause her hand swelled up and her face but her left side was okay. She was breathing, she was gaspy, but she was breathing. I'm so sorry, Eddie. I should have been watching her closer."

"No, I should have been at the party," Eddie sighed. "I should have been there, Jamie. Tom is not…he's not my priority she is and I…"

"Mr. and Mrs. Manning?" They did not correct the doctor, just stepped closer to him. "How's April doing?"

"She's resting comfortably now," the doctor replied. "She's being treated with antihistamine and her breathing has relaxed. It was a severe allergic reaction…"

All the while they were at the hospital, Frank was investigating the possible cause of April's allergy. On the floor, near where he had seen her, was a half-chewed olive…" Oh no…" Frank knew how bad that allergy could be. He called his son to inform him of this so the doctors could treat April.

Jamie's phone rang loudly as the doctor continued to discuss April's treatment. Jamie had ignored it, but this time he answered and put it on the speaker. "Hey, Dad, we're here with the doctor now. April is doing better."

"Good, that's good son. Listen, I found a partially eaten olive on the floor near where April fell," Frank explained. "And the pattern of the hives…"

"An olive allergy can be very severe," the doctor informed them. "And quite rare. I'm not certain that…"

"I know it's rare," Jamie replied. "My brother Joe and I are both allergic to olives, we inherited that from our…" Jamie and Eddie turned to look at each other, with a blank stare on each of their faces as the realization dawned on them both simultaneously.

Jamie took a deep breath and held Eddie's gaze, "Eddie, is there any chance, any chance at all, that I could be April's father and not Tom?" Jamie had thought perhaps this was true a few times, but he always dismissed it. Eddie seemed so sure, but now, how could they deny it was at least a significant possibility?

Eddie could barely look at Jamie, she was in a state of shock. Olives! April was allergic to olives, Jamie was allergic to olives… "Dr. Janes, can you please order a DNA test and test my daughter against my uh…against Jamie. Please…"

The doctor didn't question it, he nodded, "I'll order it now and we'll have the results in a few hours."

Eddie studied the ground, "You can come back and see April now. She's sleepy and a little blotchy, but she's going to be just fine."

Jamie and Eddie stepped into the hospital room. April was sound asleep. Her face and right hand were still swollen, but she wasn't gasping anymore. "Hi, baby girl, Mommy's here," Eddie cooed to April. "Mommy's here, I'm so sorry, honey. Mommy should have been there with you."

Jamie reached over and touched April's head, "You rest well, little girl. You'll feel all better soon. I know it itches, allergies are really nasty."

Without warning, Jamie carefully lifted the baby into his arms, this was his daughter. He could feel it in his bones. Jamie sat down with April in his arms, rocking softly, whispering something Eddie could not hear.

Eddie's heart clenched, she had kept Jamie's daughter from him. She hadn't known, but her ignorance and inattention had kept him from having a real relationship with his baby girl. She looked at Jamie, rocking her. "It's going to be okay…you sleep." Jamie kissed her downy hair and sighed.

All in all, Jamie had time with April, but the rest of the family had not. Frank was April's grandpa, and while he had time with her, he was cheated out of the bond between a grandparent and a grandchild. So was April. Eddie nearly cried out as she thought of Henry. He was gone and he would never know that he had another great-grandchild through Jamie. He would never know and he'd never have a chance to know April and love her the way that he did Jack, Sean, Nikki, and Max. It hurt her heart, that such a sweet man had been cheated by her absentmindedness.

Then there was the rest of the family. She'd never live this down with Erin and Nikki, not ever. This could hurt Jamie in the long run, even more than two lost years with his daughter. Hopefully, the other members of the family wouldn't allow that to happen.

Eddie worried about this, and then, she worried if April was Jamie's little girl, what would Tom think? Would he think she trapped him? Married him for his money? Would he cast April out of his life? All of that could come later, for now…she had to get some air.


	134. Chapter 134

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Four

Eddie stood up and headed outside, she didn't need to hear the doctor say it, she knew now in her mother's heart that her precious little angel belonged to her and Jamie, she had a child with her soulmate.

Jamie studied April, she had Eddie's hair, Eddie's eyes, but her jaw…was that a Reagan jaw? Her smile, he often tried to place her smile, neither Tom's nor Eddie's…was it his? In an hour, he'd have it confirmed, but in his heart, he already knew the truth…he had a child with his soulmate, and that, even with all the time lost, felt good.

Jamie gently laid April back in her bed, "Daddy loves you precious," Jamie whispered. "I'm going to find Mommy, you sleep and get better." Jamie kissed April's head and stepped out into the cold December day to find Eddie on a bench in the quad.

He walked over slowly sitting beside her shrugging off his jacket to wrap around her. "Hey, Eddie, are you okay?"

"Jamie, I'm so sorry," Eddie whispered. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't think that it was possible, I never let myself think it. And now...we can't deny it can we?"

"Hey, it's okay. I know you wouldn't have done this intentionally, Eddie," Jamie wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Eddie smiled a soft smile and sighed. "You know, I was thinking, I remember the night that it happened. It was the most incredible night of my life, the first of many magical nights with my soulmate."

Jamie sighed, absently brushing a hand over her arm "Eddie, I think I always knew in my heart that she was mine." Jamie laughed softly, "I think she always knew too... dada right from the beginning..."

"I also remember the night she was conceived, you stood outside my hotel room door and you told me how lonely you were, how hard things were, how much you loved me...I opened door and we...we just loved each other, no strings, no worries...I was on the pill, but I'd been sick, and I didn't realize the antibiotics I was taking made the pill less effective. I guess it was fate that we made our April.

"Yeah it does and April was meant to be born Eddie like we were meant to be together. I wasn't going to leave until we talked it over. "

"That was the best thing we've done," Eddie whispered. "She's the best thing we've done. I just...I regret that you missed so much. It was fate that brought you there when I had her. Do you remember?"

Jamie smiled, "I gave her to you, you were sore and couldn't' get up to reach her when the nurse left her bed across the room. She was so small, so new to this world and I held her in my arms."

Eddie smiled too, "I remember you looked so good holding her and she cuddled right into you like she belonged there. She is the best thing we've done together."

Jamie tipped Eddie's chin up and kissed her, "She is and we'll raise her and Max together. I'm a little thankful for that stupid olive allergy, if not for that, we might never have questioned it. We would have continued to think she was Tom's...not that it would be bad if she was, he's a good man, but I'm so glad she's ours."

Eddie turned her head to him, "Yeah your right. Tom is a good person, but he isn't you Jamie. I've known all the time that I had feelings for you. You have always been good with her."

"Yes," Jamie replied. "I loved her like my own and to find out she is, to have that confirmed...That will be very sweet."

"Guess we should go wait for the doctor huh? How long should it take to get a the results?"

"Not too much longer," Jamie replied holding Eddie in closer to him. "We'll figure everything out, you know that. We'll go from here. Partners?"

Eddie nodded, "Always, I know we will we always do even after a fight we figure things out."

Eddie kissed Jamie's lips softly. After all they had discussed and all the emotions that had come up, their kiss was electric. In their lips, they conveyed their love, their desire, and their deepest commitment to each other. "Let's go back in and see our girl. She might be waking and I don't want her to be alone."

Jamie helped Eddie up looping an arm around her waist walking back inside together.

April was still sleeping soundly when Jamie and Eddie went back into the room. They sat on either side of her. Eddie checked her phone, she had at least ten messages from Tom or Sue. "I need to update Tom on her condition. Stay with her?"

"Of course," Jamie whispered taking April's hand. "Hey baby girl I'm sorry of all things to pass on to you, it had to be an allergy. I love you April."

April gave a little sigh in her sleep and wiggled closer to the familiar voice. Eddie spoke calmly to Tom, not revealing the source of the allergy or the test they were waiting on. "It was anaphylactic shock, but Jamie ran with her in his arms all the way to the hospital and she's resting now. She should be released in the morning, she can open her presents then."

Eddie paced as she spoke to Tom, "You need to rest and April is just fine, we'll see you at home tomorrow. Sleep well, rest and listen to Sue and Anita."

In the room Jamie moved an arm behind her in a hug holding her other hand trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Eddie stepped back in the room, "He's settled for the night. Here, why don't you hold her again, keep her warm." Eddie bent and picked the baby up. "April, it's Mommom, go to Daddy honey. Go to your Daddy." Jamie beamed.

Jamie took April and brushed a hand over her baby soft cheek. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before settling back in the chair to rock her. April opened her eyes a few minutes later, looking up at her father and mother. "Mommom, Dada…ick…" She wiggled to try to stop the itching she still felt in her small body.

"I know you feel icky baby it itches a lot" Jamie rubbed a hand over gently not scratching but offering a gentle relief.

"April 2?" she asked. She remembered she was supposed to have a party but didn't remember having it. "Yes, baby, you are," Eddie smiled. "You are...and on your very very first birthday, when you came out of my tummy, Mommom and Dada held you tight. We always will." Eddie kissed her head as she drifted back to dreamland.

Jamie held her tight looking up catching Eddie's eyes his own sad. "We always have your back April always." He rocked her slowly letting her sleep.

"She's doing very well," The doctor said as he stepped into the room. "I have the results of her test and Mrs. Manning, your instinct was correct, Mr. Reagan is a 99.99% biological match to April. She is your daughter, Mr. Reagan." Jamie only smiled at Eddie and kissed her over the baby's sleeping form. They already knew, and it was good.

April was discharged the next morning. She was still very sleepy but the itching had stopped and her hives had receded. Jamie held her in his arms, she laid her head on his shoulder. Eddie watched with a smile as they waited for the discharge papers at how tenderly he held her

"You okay?" Jamie asked as he held her. "Are you cold?" It was frigid out, being December 16th

"I'm okay just watching you hold our girl," Eddie smiled.

"I've held her enough before, but it does explain why we took to each other so much," Jamie replied

"I know but It's different now I can't explain it. We were meant to be together Jamie."

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss. "It's going to be hard to watch Tom fawn over her and cuddle her. He'll want you to stay the night."

"I know." Eddie had already thought of that not sure how or if she would tell Tom.

Jamie hugged her tight. The doctor came in and smiled, "Well little girl, time for us to say bye bye." He tickled April's cheek and she smiled a 1000-watt grin

"Thank you very much doctor for everything," Jamie spoke up.

"She's a pretty little thing," he replied. " She has her Daddy's smile."

Jamie gazed down at April beaming, "Thank you she does but is pretty like her mommy."

Jamie and Eddie headed home with April and found Tom resting in the recliner when they came in. He got up and nearly grabbed the baby from Jamie.

"She's okay doing a lot better," Jamie assured watching his baby in Tom' s arms.

"Oh April, Daddy was so scared, do you still itch?" He asked engaging the baby in conversation.

"No icky," April answered turning to look at Jamie and Eddie.

Tom smiled " That's a good girl! Let's sit with Daddy and we can read."

April pointed to the pile of books "cat."

"Okay Cat in the Hat again..." Tom smiled.

Jamie watched Tom take the book out turning to Eddie. "You should get some sleep"

She nodded and looked at Jamie, " You should go to Max."

He nodded quietly "coming tonight?"

"Yes, I'll be there tonight. We need to figure out what happens now."

Jamie agreed hugging her, "Get some sleep. " he went to Tom and April giving the little girl a hug. Feel better " He said softly leaving to see Max.

Jamie whispered in Eddie's ear, "I'll find a sitter for Max for tonight. We'll go to a late dinner to celebrate and talk this out. I love you."

Eddie gave Jamie a kiss, "I love you too," Eddie murmured.

It was a plan, later that day they would sit down and talk this all out. How could Jamie not be angry with her about this? She knew she was angry with herself. April and Tom both napped most of the day. Eddie paced and worried, she didn't know what Jamie was going to say to her that night.

Jamie spent the afternoon with Max, then dropped him off with Danny for the night. He got reservations at Morelli's for dinner, it was quiet but offered dancing and the proper romantic atmosphere. He didn't want Eddie to think he was angry with her. That was the last thing he wanted.

Eddie met him at the restaurant, in a form fitting sweater dress, and ankle boots with a slight heel. Jamie had on a pair of black slacks and a red button-down shirt. Eddie loved him in red. Jamie pulled her closer first, then kissed her deeply. "Dance first…" he whispered leading her around the dance floor to a soft jazz medley. He wanted her to see there were no hard feelings and that everything was okay between then. As Jamie held her he whispered, "Thank you, Eddie. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful gift one person can give to another. A beautiful daughter, with my soul mate…it's a true blessing. A real and true blessing."

Eddie touched her head to his chest, "Do you remember our first dance? At that ballroom in midtown?"

"Yes, I do,' Jamie replied. And I remember our second dance, the night we made our precious April. Each time I go back to that night, I just remember how we held each other, how much love there was, it's no wonder we created such perfection."

"Then you're not angry?" Eddie asked as the song ended. "That you lost so much time."

Jamie shook his head as they sat and ordered their drinks. I'm not focused on the loss, just on the gain, I have a daughter now, and I'm going to love her, all the way."

"All the way?" Eddie asked. "You're right, Jamie. We do need to talk. With Tom's health, I'm not sure how he'll take this, how he'll handle hearing that April isn't his daughter. I have to tell him, I mean he deserves the chance to write us out of the will and disown her if he chooses…"

"If he chooses to do that Eddie, I want you to know we'll be fine," Jamie said firmly. "We'll be fine, I'll get another job, I'll moonlight and I will support you continuing to work or choosing to be a stay-at-home Mom. Don't let that factor into your decision about telling Tom."

Eddie smiled at Jamie, "Oh I know…I know that, that's not even on my mind actually. I know we'll be okay no matter what Tom does, I'm concerned about pushing his health and hurting him. I don't want to hurt him."

Jamie nodded, "I understand that, I don't either. Eddie, I have to say this, April is my little girl and I want to have all the things that entails. I want to be her Daddy, this can be outside of Tom's scope if you want, but I'm not going to hold myself back with April anymore. I'm going to love her with all my heart."

"I'm going to tell Tom, after the holiday? We were going to spend time with you and him over the holiday anyway. I think that will give us time to settle down and come up with exactly how to tell him.

Jamie agreed to that, "Yes, I don't want to shock him into a heart attack or hurt him either. He was a good father to April the first two years of her life, if it wasn't me there for that, I'm glad it was him

"Me too," Eddie replied. "I'm glad of that too, he does love her so much and I'm not sure that will change I just want to give him the option, it's only right."

Jamie agreed, "We do have something else to do. We have to tell my family. They should know April is a Reagan."

"I am so incredibly sorry that Henry never knew this," Eddie sighed. "He would have loved her so much, he'd have enjoyed having another girl to spoil."

"Yes," Jamie replied. "Yes, he would, but he'd have understood too Eddie. We weren't in the best place after that trip, if it were now I think we'd make a different choice but…then, we were only talking for emergencies and you admitted you were sexually involved with Tom then so…"

"I'm so glad you understand." Eddie settled back and took a sip of her drink. "I'm not sure I can forgive myself."

Jamie held Eddie's hand gently, "It was an oversight on both our parts, but we know now and we must make this special. We really must. We can tell my family before Christmas maybe, I'd like to have another little party for April. Maybe at the house? I know my Dad and Linda will be thrilled for sure."

Eddie nodded, "She did get cheated out of her party and her cake. Let's take a day or two and get our heads around it, then go and tell your Dad. I think the detective in him has probably figure it out, allergic to olives is just not that common."

Jamie agreed that Frank probably knew, it was his sister and niece he was concerned about, but of course, he didn't let Eddie know. She had enough shock and worry already.


	135. Chapter 135

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Five

Jamie and Eddie headed home together, holding hands as they walked into the apartment door. "I'm going to throw on some sweats and flop down on the couch. I haven't been sleeping well for a while, but the last couple of days…"

"Why don't I make us some popcorn, we can kick back on the couch and relax?" Jamie suggested. "You can even pick the movie."

Eddie smiled and changed from her sweater dress to a pair of grey sweats and a pink sweatshirt. Jamie also changed, and they collapsed on the couch together. Jamie put the bowl of popcorn on his lap and tucked Eddie into his side. She'd chosen Must Love Dogs as their romcom of the evening.

Eddie felt so relaxed being close to Jamie. She melted into his arms, snacking intermittently on the popcorn. Jamie loved how she felt near him, so sweet, so soft. Eddie went to take a handful of popcorn, but Jamie moved the bowl. He wanted her closer. "Hey give it!" Eddie laughed and leaned over him to try to reach the bowl.

Jamie moved it over more and higher up. Eddie began to laugh and reach for the dish. She got a hold of it just as Jamie moved it again, the popcorn toppled and spilled all over the floor.

"Oh, you are going to clean that up," Eddie laughed as Jamie went to tickle her side.

"No, I think you are…" Jamie replied.

"No, you are," Eddie countered laughing. They rolled off the couch onto the carpeted floor. In one quick move, Jamie had Eddie beneath him. They were both laughing, her hair was in her face, and she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

Their breaths mingled, and Jamie slowly dropped his head to capture Eddie's lips. "I'm so lucky to have you Eddie. I'm so lucky to have you, April and Max. Our family…"

"I am too, a child with my soul mate, my lovely little boy…my life is so good, it's all so good," Eddie whisper. "You…so close…"

Jamie smiled, "I am close…and I'm going to get closer."

Jamie dropped his head and captured her lips. Eddie's arms came up and looped around his neck. Their tongues touched and mingled, their special lover's dance. They slowly tasted each other, it was like their first time again, getting to know each other now as April's parents, and it was a new relationship for them both.

Eddie reached her arms over her head and Jamie stripped her of the sweatshirt. She grabbed the hem of Jamie's sweatshirt and pulled up, both were bare chested. He leaned down and laid on top of her, letting the hair roughened surface of his chest caress her silky, soft breasts. She sighed at the sensation, he could excite her with just a touch.

Her hand massaged his thigh and moved to cup the essence of him through the pants. She could feel how much he wanted her, almost as much as she needed him. Tonight, was not about hunger, it was not even about desire, though they felt those things, tonight was about tenderness, bonding, love…

Their hands moved like musicians, slowly peeling back the remaining layers of clothing. Her body was ready for him, he checked that with a tender hand, cupping her mound and massaging the little bundle of nerves at the top. Her thighs fell apart naturally, his body fit to her perfectly, there was just enough room for him to slide between her legs and be nestled in their welcoming arch. He was straining for her, needing to fill her, and she was just as anxious to have him do so.

"Need you…" she whimpered. "Now…please…Need you…"

"I'm here, baby," he whispered. "I'm here. Open for me…take me…"

She dropped her legs open wider, his hips arched and met hers. With one smooth thrust, he joined their bodies, plunging deeply into the moist, pink flesh. Her arms held him tight, she didn't' want him to let her go…The motion of their bodies drove them both to distraction, building their orgasm to an explosive height.

She cried out his name as her body rode the wave. He whispered his love as his body released the same life force that he did then night they created their little girl. When it was over, he pulled her close on the floor of the apartment and covered their still bare bodies with a blanket. Their bodies settled down, and their eyes grew heavy. They slept in each other's arms, happy and content with each other, they had never felt more deeply in love than at this very moment, in the blissful recesses of sleep.

Eddie woke up and stretched. She was tired and stiff, but so happy. Later that day, they were going to speak to Frank and let him know about April. Jamie shifted trying to hold onto her still asleep. "Where you going, Eddie?"

"Make breakfast," she replied. "You gave me a hell of a night. Eggs and bacon with toast okay?"

Jamie smiled reaching his hand out gently taking hers before she could get up. "Lay with me another minute."

She turned and laid her head in his chest. Eddie's phone beeped, "Its Tom. He wants to reschedule April's party. For the 23rd."

"Let me see if I'm working." Jamie wrapped his arms around her just wanting to hold her smiling.

"No," Eddie replied "if we redo the party it's going to be just the family."

Jamie sat up, "what family are you including in that?"

"Your family, Tom, Sue, and Anita," Eddie replied. "Not fifty colleagues and politicians"

Jamie nodded leaning on his arm, "Yeah that sounds good to me."

"You know what sounds good to me..." Eddie asked. "You are making me breakfast...I changed my mind.

"Laughing Jamie leaned down for a quick kiss as he disappeared into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jamie and Eddie both went to see Tom and pick up April. She reached out for Jamie, she loved to be held by him. "We're going to take April out for a bit to play with Max."

"April had fun didn't she?" Tom smiled at the little girl. "Give daddy a kiss April." He looked up at Eddie.

"She always has, she loved time with you, but now is play time. April got see Anita, get your coat"

April gave Tom a kiss running off to get her jacket. "I love being with her she is just amazing thank you for that."

"You're welcome. I'll bring her over again tomorrow," Eddie told him. "We'll discuss her next party then."

Tom nodded sitting back in his chair, "Sounds good. Have fun at the park. "

Eddie and Jamie went to pick up Max. They would let the kids play while they told Frank, or at least confirmed his suspicions.

Jamie turned in time to catch his son, "Hey, buddy! Daddy missed you. We're you good for grandpa?"

"I good boy," Max told Jamie. "Did pee pee."

Jamie kissed him making a big deal, "You did! What a good boy max! You're such a big boy." He said hugging him.

"Yes," Frank replied. "He did pee pee and poo in there and flushed my spare keys when he saw how much fun it was to pull the handle.

Jamie sighed, "Sorry dad we'll make you an extra set and I'll work with him on that."

"Go floosh!" Max declared and smiled. "Swirly;" Eddie laughed and scooped the baby up. "We are going to the indoor play park."

"Play!" Max pointed at April "April pay Maxy."

"Yes, you are going to play with April. Run along now and play for a few minutes before we go bye bye…"

Jamie sent Max and April to play in the living room where they could still be seen by the adults. Eddie was ill at ease, but Jamie knew his father would take the news well.

The adults took their seats around the table Jamie clearing his throat looking at Eddie. "Dad we have something to tell you."

"April is your daughter," Frank said with a smile. "What tipped you off? The smile, the way she laughs, or the olive allergy?"

Jamie stared at him in shock. "You knew? How long have you known dad?"

Frank smiled. "The olive cinched it. What's surprising is the two of you not knowing sooner."

Jamie looked at Frank "I think I had suspicions but didn't let myself believe it... I think we both kind of knew but the test confirmed it."

"Frank, I am so sorry," Eddie apologized and began to tear up. "I really am. I'm so sorry that you lost so much time with her, and Henry, he never got to know her as his great-granddaughter. I'm so sorry that I cost him that." Eddie's face showed true remorse.

"Eddie you did what you thought was right, you didn't know April is Jamie's. What's important is what happens going forward."

"Actually, there was someone who knew this whole time," Frank admitted. He excused himself and headed upstairs. When Frank returned he was smiling.

"Before he died," Frank began. "Pop left this with me." Frank took Eddie's hand. "Pop knew, Pop always knew that April was Jamie's daughter. He knew...and he said, "When they get around to opening their eyes to reality, make sure they get this..." He handed Eddie a small, delicate cross. "This was my mother's."

Eddie tears falling freely now, she reached out taking the necklace. "How did he know?"

Jamie thought it was strange as well. Frank explained, "Jamie, Pop raised you. He diapered you, he rocked you, and he saw you in her. He was so sure, and he is looking down now, overjoyed that you finally know that truth."

Jamie smiled, "I am too, Dad. I'm going to be there for her," he looked at Eddie, "I love Eddie and our both children with everything I am." Jamie stood and held Eddie in his arms.

Eddie held Jamie's hand and kissed the back of it. "You are already there for her, a wonderful father to her and to Max. I wish pop could've handed April this necklace himself. Please tell me about it, Frank. I want April to know the story when she's older, so she is always connected to Pop and to your Mom."

"Nikki has one as well it's a symbol of their great grandma. She wanted me as the only child to pass it down to my daughter and granddaughters."

Eddie smiled. "That's such a nice gesture for you and Pop. Oh, I miss him. He was, outside of Danny and Jamie, my supporter in the family. Frank, we'd like you to keep this discreet until I've told Tom. I won't be doing that until after the New Year."

Frank smiled, "I know Pop is looking down right now smiling and happy. Don't worry I won't say anything, that will be left to you."

"Thanks, Frank..." Eddie smiled. "I just...I wish that we knew sooner, that I didn't lose this time with Jamie and April. I hope you can forgive me."

Frank gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You don't have to apologize for anything sweetheart."

Eddie gave Frank a hug then looked at Jamie. "We better get going, we have a busy day planned for them."

Jamie got up too "thanks dad that means a lot grandma's necklace."

Eddie returned to the kitchen with the kids, "Wave bye bye to Grandpa," she told both children. Frank felt himself tear up.

Max turned and waved a little arm at his grandfather. "Bye bye."

While the children played, Jamie sat back and watched with Eddie. "So, you don't want to tell the family then until after the new year?"

"Yea it's just Tom may not have much time left and I don't want to ruin his holiday with the news you know," Eddie sighed.

Jamie nodded, "Whether or not you are going to tell Tom is up to you. I can tell you that I will not hold back acting as April's Daddy."

Eddie didn't want to stop him from being April's father either because he was. "I know I would never ask you to do that, Jamie."

"I understand you have to be sensitive," Jamie replied. "But I don't want to lose more time."

Eddie nodded gratefully, "I don't want you to either." She smiled up at him gratefully.

Max had his piano lesson at 3:30 then they took both kids for dinner. April saw the olives on the food line and reached, she liked they were round.

Jamie quickly pulled her back, "No, baby girl let's find something else for you that doesn't make you itchy."

"Ball," April pointed at the Olive. "Can I have a mozzarella ball for her please?" The young man smiled offering a small plate of mozzarella balls for her.

"Ball," April announced then ate the cheese. Max was showing Eddie the fingering for Jingle bells.

Jamie smiled watching max then looked back at April. "How is it April yummy?"

"Ball!" She insisted again. She filled up on the cheese before she got her pizza.

Laughing a little Jamie turned to look at Eddie, "How's Maxy doing over there?"

"He ate his whole slice," Eddie smiled. "I think they did a good enough job that we can take them for their surprise."

"Yeah, I agree," Jamie took a bite of his smiling.

"Suppize? April asked. She liked that word it meant Teddy Bears.

Jamie smiled, "Yeah a surprise for April and for Maxy." He looked at Max, times like this were building memories.

Max held out his crust to April, she took it and chewed on it. Jamie paid the bill and took Max's hand. Eddie carried April heading toward Santa's throne.

The kids looked around at the large throne decorated with bright lights and candy canes taller than them. A line of parents waited with their kids. Max pointed, "Santa!" He smiled. "I good boy!"

"You are a good boy and April is a good girl so you get to meet Santa," Jamie told them.

April watched the other kids sitting and smiling. She wrinkled her nose. "What's wrong April," Eddie asked seeing the face their daughter made laughing curiously.

"Tinky," she replied. "Pew!"

"What's wrong April are you stinky," Jamie sniffed her. "Nope."

"Stinky rug" April replied. "Smelly stinks..." Max laughed and they moved up in the line_

Up ahead Santa laughed greeting a little boy of about 5 taking him on his lap. "Look there's Santa," Eddie pointed out. Max reached out and toddled up closer to Santa soon it was their turn

Eddie and Jamie sat the kids, one on each knee, smiling so the photographer could take a picture. Max clapped his hands "Santa."

"Hello little man," Santa greeted. "Ho ho ho! What do you want for Christmas?" Max just turned and hugged him. On his other knee, April studied the bearded man.

April saw the string holding his beard in place. She wrinkled her nose and wiggled a finger back there. She snapped the elastic so it broke. The beard fell off and she began to cry.

Eddie picked her up, "April no! Be nice with Santa"

April was in full meltdown mode, kicking, biting, and crying at full voice

Jamie gave Santa an apologetic look while Eddie took April to a bench. "April stop," she warned.

She was tired and grossly overstimulated. Eddie sighed, the fit settled but the crying went on.

"Tell Mommy what's the matter, April. Use your words," Eddie encouraged.

April sobbed turning with open arms, "Mommy no buh bye." She held onto Eddie associating being given to someone as Eddie leaving.

Max sighed at Santa, "April, liddul,' he told him. "She scared." Max babbled away to the Santa as Jamie helped him fix the beard before oodles of other children saw that it was not the real Santa.

"You are a good big brother" Santa praised. "What do you want for Christmas, Max?"

"Want ball for April, she like it. Want a tambine and ti…ticycle…" Max told Santa and smiled nicely for his picture.

Max and Jamie approached a crying April, Eddie was rocking her and trying to calm her down. "April…" Max held out one of the candy canes that Santa gave him. "No cry."

April took the candy cane and sniffled, "Tank oo." Eddie stroked her hair; the child was clearly scared.

"She's never done this before," Eddie sighed "Let's take them home."

Jamie gave a nod, "She has really only been with people she knows. Tom, you, me, Anita, and Dad."

Max and April fell asleep in the car on the way home. Jamie carried both kids while Eddie brought in the bags. He laid the kids down in their beds taking their shoes off to be more comfortable, kissed their heads then went to meet Eddie.


	136. Chapter 136

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Six

"Coming just a second," Kara called sighing as her older boy came out to answer the door. "Can I help you?"

"Jake, that's okay, that's my friend," Kara replied smiling at Luke. "Hey, how was your flight?"

Luke smiled stepping into the house and wrapping his arms around her. "It was good. I missed you."

Kara kissed Luke deeply, "Me too. Jacob, Alex, come here please." Two dark haired, clean cut, boys appeared, "Boys, this is Mommy's friend Luke. He's all the way from Montana to see us for Christmas."

Jake looked Luke over extending a slow hand out. "A friend huh? How long have you known our Mom?"

"I met her last year," Luke replied. "When your Mom and I were at the same conference. I hear that you are into animals. I have some pictures of the animals that live on my farm."

Jake's eyes widened, "You have a farm? What kind of animals do you have?" Alex stood behind his brother wary of the stranger.

"Horses, and a cow, and some pigs and chickens...I even have a goat that will eat anything you drop on the ground, even pennies..." Luke bragged with a huge smile. He knew with Kara, if he wanted her, he had to win over her kids. The little one Alex was the same age as his boy when he passed, the older one, inquisitive Jacob, was the age his son would be had he lived.

"I love horses... The goat doesn't get sick? Can you milk the cow?" Jake suddenly burst out of his curious phase with questions interested in hearing more.

"You can milk the cow and the goat, and no she doesn't get sick. I see you have a book there about animals, let's look at it while Mom finishes getting ready." Kara was beaming, Luke was a natural with kids. Quickly, she finished dressing and they headed out to the breakfast.

Jake was walking next to Luke asking more questions, Alex held his mom's hand more reserved with this new man around.

The entire room was decked out in Christmas cheer. There was a Santa in the corner of the room, Kara promised the boys could see him later. They found Jamie and Eddie with the kids, "Hey, hey," Kara greeted. "Oh, April, you look so pretty." Kara gave April a little hug. "Max, look at that handsome bow tie."

Max smiled, "pretty," he said reaching out to give her a hug. Jamie nodded at Jake and Alex "Hey guys, how are you? Hey, Luke how was the flight?"

"It was good, long, but good," Luke replied. "I think we have a future farmer here!"

Jamie smiled at Jake, "Oh yeah, he loves animals right?"

"Yeah!" Jake gave a toothy grin and smiled widely. "When do the pancakes come?"

"In a little while we saved you some seats with us," Jamie showed them. Kara and Eddie exchanged a hug.

Jamie and Luke focused on the three boys so Eddie and Kara could talk. "Seems to be going well, no?"

"Yeah really well. Jake was a little hesitant, but he warmed right up. Luke was really good with both boys."

"So, you think any more about what we discussed?" Eddie asked. "About seizing the day?" Kara and Eddie had talked at length about Luke and how much she missed him. Kara was thinking of a trip to Montana.

Kara turned to Luke giving him a smile. She nodded at Eddie: "Yeah I have. I actually think I might go, but the boys…"

"You and Matt had an amicable divorce, you two can work this out, he can keep the boys," Eddie suggested. "Jamie and I will back him up. Talk to him about skiing, you'd have a great time I think!"

"Sure, I would," Kara nodded. "I'll call Matt later and talk to Luke."

"I'm so happy for you, you don't see it yet, but you and Luke, you have the same look that Jamie and I do. You found him, Kara, I told you that you would!"

Kara smiled, "He really is amazing Eddie whenever we're together I can't explain it."

Eddie smiled, "No, but you can feel it. I know." The pancake line finally opened and the two friends went about their business making plates for their kids. "Do you want to go see Santa?" Jacob asked Max and April.

"Santa," the kids clapped reaching their little hands out to slide off their chairs.

"Whoa, whoa..." Jamie caught both kids. "No Santa until you eat pancakes. Pancakes, then Santa." Jamie redirected them to their plates.

They both froze sitting back down, lips pouting. "Daddy Santa," Max pointed while Jamie cut his son's pancakes.

"Yes, you can see Santa when you're done," Eddie confirmed. "Be good now and eat up, he's watching..." Eddie pointed at the Santa who thankfully had his head turned in their direction.

Both kids turned to their plate starting to eat without complaining. April finished first reaching her hands up, "Mommy icky..."

"Okay," Eddie replied. "We'll go wash your hands. Maxy, do you need to go to the potty?" Eddie asked taking April on her hip.

"No potty," Max shook his head. "Daddy done!" Max announced.

"Okay, good boy. Go with Mommom and get your hands washed, then we'll go see Santa Claus. Go on..." Jamie watched Max get off the chair and follow Eddie. While they washed she suggested, "I think you both should go potty."

"No! No potty," Max repeated stubbornly stomping his foot.

Eddie nodded and put April on the toilet. "Maxy, if you tell Mommom you have to pee pee after we go back out or if you pee pee your pants, Mommom will be very unhappy."

Max whined, stomping his foot looking back out to see if Santa was still there. "Potty, Mommom."

"Good boy, Maxy," Eddie praised and put him on the toilet. "Okay, run along to Daddy, Santa is waiting. Give him big hugs!"

Max clapped his hands proudly toddling out to Jamie taking his hand. "Max potty…Santa..."

"I have to go help set up the donation booth," Jamie told Eddie. "Can you do Santa with them and Kara and Luke?"

"Sure thing, lamb chop," Eddie smiled taking the kid's hands walking to wait on line.

Luke went to get some coffee, so it was Kara and Eddie waiting for the Santa Claus. This Santa was a younger man, and had been eyeing the two mothers all day.

When it was their turn Eddie smiled helping her kids sit on Santa's lap. "Look guys say hi to Santa."

The Santa took both of Eddie's kids first, then both of Kara's. Finally, as Luke returned, they took a picture with both sets of kids. "Would you two ladies like to sit on Santa's lap?" the Santa asked as Kara took the children back. Luke didn't like that one bit.

Luke moved over "Excuse me Santa, these women are wonderful, intelligent and happily taken so back off."

Luke put his arm around Kara and led her off the step. Eddie smiled, she knew how wonderful that felt, even as a capable cop, for the man you love to defend you and make you feel safe. Eddie smiled at Kara, they were now two peas in a pod.

When the boys were settled again at the table, Kara turned towards Luke smiling. "Thank you for defending me back there. It was the first time anyone stood up for me in a long time."

"I'll be glad to stand up for you," Luke smiled. "Can you get a sitter for tonight? Maybe we can go out for dinner?"

Kara smiled, "I'll see what I can do; dinner sounds nice."

Kara knew Eddie would help out with the boys, she pulled her friend aside and asked her with a smile. They were going to dinner that night. Kara couldn't wait.

"Of course, Kara go have fun tonight don't worry about the boys," Eddie was excited for her friend.

Luke took Kara to a well-lit Italian restaurant, quaint little round with white table clothes and a candle in the middle. The walls were decorated with pictures of old Sicily, boats and village fishermen.

"I'm so glad Eddie and Jamie were able to help out, they are really a great couple, I heard from Jamie they had some work to get here, just like us." Luke held Kara's hand.

"Yes, they did but they're happy together. They're great friends," Kara smiled as they were shown to a table.

"I was great friends with my wife when she was alive," Luke replied. "I think that's the key to a strong relationship. And so far, I think we are very good friends Kara, and I do want that to be more. I don't want to waste time, I know how hard life can be, how short..."

Kara agreed with that, "Yes it really is. We are really good friends, you are a sweet and kind man."

"Kara, I spoke to the Sheriff, and he in turn worked it out with Commissioner Reagan, for me to be a part of the exchange program for a year. I'd go home after Christmas then return in mid- January to start that position. It would allow us to explore and learn about each other."

"For you to move here that would be great we can see each other more and yeah get to know each other better" Kara nodded.

"Yes," Luke replied. "I think I passed muster with your sons, I'm hoping that we make this work. I am all in with you here, Kara. I am all in."

Kara smiled, "Well I'm glad to hear that. The boys took to you quickly that's a good sign. I really want this to work too."

An old song began to play over the speakers, "That's Amore..." "Oh, I love this song, let's dance, just like we did in Montana..." Kara agreed, Luke held her hands and they danced to the song, while they laughed at each other's bold and wide movements.

Luke placed a hand on Kara's waist, taking her hand, eyes locked with hers as they danced together.

When dinner was over, Luke and Kara went for a walk by the water. The weather was bitter cold for Kara, but Luke was used to much cooler temperatures and found it exhilarating.

"It's beautiful," Kara commented folding her arms over her chest watching the water sparkle under a bright moon.

"Montana's winter sky is something to see, I hope that one day I get to do this under those stars..." Luke tipped her head and kissed her lips softly, his tongue just brushing against hers. Kara smiled against his lips and hoped in her heart there was more where that came from.

"Back to bed, come on now!" Eddie told Alex. Jake had gone down right away, but the younger boy was very bouncy and having a hard time settling. "If Max ever gets like this…"

"I know," Eddie replied. "He was on his way earlier with that potty thing. He loves Santa so much! It's cute. He's going to be so excited Christmas morning. They are just the right age to enjoy it all."

"That's going to present a problem, isn't it?" Jamie sighed. "Where to spend the holiday. My family will want to see Max, Tom's going to want time with April, and I don't want to miss a holiday with my daughter, especially now that I know that she is."

"I was thinking about that," Eddie replied sitting on Jamie's lap. "What if we have the Santa presents here then I'll take April to Tom's, you take Max to your family, then I'll bring April over for dessert and I'll make sure Tom let's me."

"I don't know if I want to miss any of her holiday, and I don't want my family to miss time with Max," Jamie replied. "I agree, let's keep the Santa part private, just us. I'll make the sacrifice this time, it's Tom's last Christmas, I'll go with you to Manhasset and we'll have dessert with my family."

"Your family does Christmas Eve really big, maybe we spend that with them, and then do Santa here, then do Christmas Day with Tom, does that sound fairer? You'll be with April the whole time."

Jamie smiled, "Thank you for understanding how important that is to me, Eddie. I think that's a fair compromise. We're going to be good at this marriage thing!"

Eddie touched her promise ring and kissed Jamie's lips, "You bet we are."

"Would you like to come in?" Kara asked Luke as she opened the door to her apartment. "We can have a night cap."

Luke smiled and stepped into Kara's apartment. "Do you have to pick up the boys?"

"Nope, Jamie and Eddie are keeping them overnight, they thought…"

Kara didn't get a chance to finish. Luke took that cue from her and leaned over for a kiss. His lips were like velvet, and he tasted of coffee, mint, and the pipe he'd smoked before walking her upstairs. Kara's arms came up instantly and pulled Luke closer. It had been a long time since she was with a man, even longer since a man made her feel like a woman.


	137. Chapter 137

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Seven

Jamie and Eddie took the boys, Max, and April to McDonald's to eat breakfast. Max had his first Egg McMuffin and enjoyed it, while April stuck to pancakes off her Mommy's plate. By the time they got back to the apartment, Kara and Luke had arrived, holding hands, to pick the boys up. "Come on in," Eddie invited with a smile.

"How were they?" Kara asked as she hugged her two boys. "Were you guys good for Miss Eddie and Mr. Jamie?"

"They were good," Eddie smiled. "Alex had a little trouble staying in bed at first, but they were really well behaved. In fact, we had a little coloring project for them, you guys were earlier than we thought."

"Can we still do the coloring, Mommy?" Alex asked. "Please!"

Kara replied, "Yes, you can, if you don't make a huge mess." Kara looked at Eddie, "That's okay?"

"Oh yes, that's fine, in fact, why don't I make us some tea and we can talk, I want to hear all about last night."

Kara and Eddie went to the kitchen while Luke and Jamie sat in the living room to supervise the projects and get better acquaintened. While Eddie set out cups, she commanded Kara to "spill."

"Well…we…" Kara blushed. "We went to a really nice out of the way restaurant, we even danced to That's Amore! He's so sweet and funny and just all around a wonderful man. Such a gentleman too."

"Oh," Eddie looked a bit disappointed. She was hoping…but then Kara smiled.

"Oh, nothing," Kara laughed. "I mean in the sense that he was gentle and sweet, honestly it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. I don't think I've had one that topped it. We took a long walk and then I asked him in. I felt like a teenager again, like my body wasn't my own. Everything just went on pure reaction and instinct."

"That's good, that's how it should be," Eddie smiled serving the tea. "That's how it was for me and Jamie too, just let nature take its course."

"If that was nature taking its course, then I'm all for it, it took a half hour after we were done for my body to stop convulsing. I'm shocked I had the presence of mind to ask him about a condom, but surprise, he thought of that on his own. I really think this can be something special." Kara's eyes shined.

"Good, then you go for it, Kara," Eddie encouraged. "You go for it and make it happen. Tell me, does he say anything when he…" Both ladies started to laugh.

"No, Matt used to yell "Glory" when he, but no, not Luke, not so far," Kara replied. "Why does Jamie?"

"No," Eddie admitted. "Tom did, he used to announce himself, "I'm coming, I'm coming…" Kara laughed so hard at that she snorted her tea.

While the girls were talking, Jamie and Luke were talking shop on the sofa. "It's different," Luke replied. "I'm assuming I know you get domestics and weapons charges here, but there if it's one gun, it's fifty and a lot of people still believe inequality is right and good, or at the least a necessary evil. We battle a lot of sect bigotry, nothing as overt as what I read about New York and this area."

"We have it all, that's for sure. And good men and women battling it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ready to raise the kids here with what I see on the streets, but then it is home," Jamie replied. He was dying to ask Luke how things went, but wasn't sure if that was the right thing. Still, he probed, "So you and Kara got to know each other a bit last night?"

Luke blushed, Jamie was a seasoned interrogator, and he knew how to ask a leading question. "You could say that for sure."

"I did say that," Jamie replied. "I know because you showed up with her to pick up the kids, very good move. She's got older kids, won't be as easy as it was for me and Eddie."

"Amen to that, you two got together with babies, right? As long as you hold and cuddle…"

Jamie nodded, "So, by the smile on your face it looks like you two hit it off."

Luke wasn't one to kiss and tell but he was so happy that he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I didn't plan it, but it was a nice night, we enjoyed one another."

Jamie picked up on the subtley and smirked, "I've enjoyed myself like that as well when I wasn't expecting it, Kara deserves it, she deserves to feel special like that."

"Yeah," Luke agreed. Jamie laughed and Luke grunted.

They heard the girls giggling and laughing from the kitchen and looked at each other. "So, uh, they tell each other everything?" Luke was blushing.

Jamie nodded, "Oh yeah. There are not many secrets between those two…Kara is Ethel to Eddie's Lucy or maybe the other way but no secrets…"

"Well, then we best get to know each other well, you and I," Luke observed. "Because I have a feeling the four of us are going to grow old together."

Jamie actually hoped Luke was right.

Kara and Luke headed out with the boys after lunch, just in time for Jamie and Eddie to put Max and April down for their naps. Both of the younger kids were exhausted and fell asleep quickly. "They had a good time playing with the older kids," Eddie observed giving Jamie a hug. "Ugh…I am so gross, I didn't have time shower with four kids in the house. I'm going to jump in now."

"Nope, not letting you go,' Jamie teased. "I missed you last night, and we need to celebrate Kara's good fortune. Luke's good people."

"Yes he is," Eddie replied. "And I am absolutely going to shower. You can come with me though." Eddie started to walk toward the shower with Jamie's hand in hers.

The hot water cascaded over their bodies. Jamie's arms came around Eddie from behind, he held her to him and nestled his head on her shoulder. The water ran over both of their bodies, Jamie, of course, began to wash Eddie's hair. He loved the feel of the silky, golden strands of her hair in his hand. The only think he liked the feel of more was her heavy and full breasts against his arms. His mouth worked from her earlobe to her jaw, her head dropped back, her hands turning and massaging his thighs.

"Eddie," Jamie groaned at the stimulation so close to his already excited sex. "You drive me crazy…"

Eddie laughed, "Good." She turned in his arms and slid her hands up and down his body until they settled on his buttocks. She rubbed her aching breasts on his chest, they were begging for his hands to come and cup them.

He knew that's what she wanted and happily obliged. He dropped too so that he could pull her right nipple into his mouth and nibble at it. She felt her knees go weak, each time they made love standing, she felt as if she would crumble and fall, and each time, his strength held her up, keeping her close to him.

When her right nipple was a ripe little bud, he moved his attention to her left, working it with his teeth and tongue until it too was ripe. Meanwhile, her hands had shifted from his buttocks to his stiff, masculine member. He moaned as her small soft hand massaged him, causing him to cry out.

"Oh….oh…God…" he begged. "I need…oh…"

Her arms snaked around his neck and her legs locked around his back as he lifted her. Carefully, but with urgency, he positioned her on his shaft, bracing her back against the wall. Her head dropped forward in ecstasy as he filled her to the core of her body. Her delicate muscles clamped, his firm sex thrust in a steady rhythm until they reached the highest height together.

Their legs gave way and they sank to the floor of the tub. Jamie held Eddie as their breathing evened out. They held each other until the water went cold.

Both Jamie and Eddie slid into their sweats and with smiles on their faces. They went about wrapping some gifts and starting a stew for dinner, all the while stealing kisses, giving hugs, and enjoying loving and living in their apartment in Queens.

Christmas was upon them quickly. Before they knew it, it was Christmas Eve. The Reagan home was decorated in a lovely Victorian style. Eddie was shocked at how elaborate the decorations were.

Jamie smiled, "Christmas is a big holiday for us wait until you see dinner." He walked in setting Max down on the floor so Linda could fuss over him

April held onto her mother, there were too many people she didn't know there. She was in her shy stage. "Hey, who is that pretty little girl?" Danny smiled at April beer in hand.

"April..." she smiled. She reached out and grabbed Danny's nose. Eddie put her down, and she toddled off to play with Max.

In the kitchen Erin and Frank busily prepared Christmas Eve feast while Nikki and Jack set the table. On the side Sean watched Max and April smiling. April was in a frilly holiday dress, she liked the smell of the house and sat down with Max. She took the toy that was next to him and held it on her lap.

"Max toy," Max reached for it handing her a block while grabbing the toy away. April took the block and put it down. She found other blocks like it and put them down, she was a laid back child

Jamie went in the kitchen greeting his father and sister while getting beers for him and Eddie. "So you brought her this year," Erin replied. "Where is the husband?"

"He's at home having his own Christmas party," Jamie answered curtly.

Erin nodded, "She's not going to leave him, Jamie. He's a blank check!"

"She already has, Erin," Jamie shook his head taking the tops off their beers.

Dinner was an elaborate affair. Turkey, ham, and salmon we're all served. Eddie and April were really enjoying their Christmas. Before cookies and a story, both kids were sent to play again.

Max looked and looked for his favorite stuffed animal, and he couldn't find him anywhere. He started to get upset, kicking his legs and murmuring. He was tired and wanted to sleep.

"What's wrong Max?" Sean asked taking a seat on the couch trying to figure out what he was looking for.

Max babbled his request over and over again. Shaking his head Sean sorted through toys hoping to find the one Max wanted with no luck. Max scrunched up his face in frustration and tiredness laying back, hands clenched as he kicked and cried. "No no noooooooo."

Eddie moved in, she could always soothe Max in any situation but this time he only dropped to the floor and cried harder. He threw the blocks and the other offered toys.

"Nooo," the little boy cried kicking and throwing his fists around. From her spot nearby April got to her feet walking over plopping besides Max laying a hand on his arm.

"Maxy, no no...sssh Maxy..." April laid her head in him and rocked him.

Frank and Jamie looked at each other, "No denying whose child she is."

Max calmed his hands still kicking though not as hard sobbing now. As April continued soothing him Max finally calmed down.

April went to where Nikki sat and pulled the stuffed pig from under her butt. "Max pig, he cry no good..." She handed the toy to her brother and hugged him again. Frank moved and picked April up, Eddie lifted Max. Frank tickled April. "Such a nice girl."

Max clutched the pig sniffling and laying his head against Eddie tiredly. "Tank April," he yawned.

Eddie took Max to his room upstairs for a rock. Jamie took April from Frank and snuggled her. He was so delighted to have her as his daughter. They sat on the couch Jamie running a hand over her head the way his mom put him and his siblings to sleep.

"You really took to her huh?" Danny smiled. "She must take after Tom being so calm." Jamie swallowed hard, wanting to be honest with him but couldn't without Eddie there. He only gave a shrug watching April.

"Dada, Santa come..." She told him. "See me?"

Smiling Jamie brushed her hair, "Yes you were a very good girl April. Santa is coming tonight with his reindeer. What does Santa say?"

"Ho Ho..." April smiled.

Eddie stepped into the living room, having just handed Max off to Frank for a cuddle. "Actually, she does take after her father," Eddie replied. She smiled at Jamie, "I don't want you to lie to your brother openly, and Danny's been the best friend to us and our relationship. You should tell him."

Jamie nodded, "What Eddie means is, well, we'd appreciate if you kept it to yourself or just share it with Linda. We spoke to Dad, but Tom doesn't know…"

Jamie reached out and put April in Danny's arms. "Danny, I'd like you to meet your niece, April. We recently found out that she's my little girl."

Danny smiled, "Congratulations, Kid. There's no blessing like a child. None at all, but you already know that through Max. I won't say anything, Tom has the right to know first."

Danny handed April back to Jamie and she cuddled on his lap until Frank was ready to read the Christmas story. Jamie handed April to her newly minted Grandpa for the reading. With one grandchild on each knee and began his reading. Jamie slid his arms around Eddie as they listened to the Christmas story.

Everyone else gathered as more of a tradition Danny holding Linda with Jack and Sean on the couch in front of them. Erin sat beside Nikki smiling.

Jamie and Eddie took two sleepy babies home around one in the morning following midnight mass. They were both exhausted but also very happy. Eddie settled on the couch, "Give it minute then we'll put their Santa gifts out..." Jamie stopped in front of Eddie with a present. "Merry Christmas, Eddie."

She looked back at him blue eyes intently meeting his smiling slowly taking the present. "Jamie..."

He smiled, "Go on and open it." Eddie gently opened the small box and smiled. Inside was necklace with two kids' figures and two adult figures entwined.

Eddie looked at him "Oh Jamie, it's beautiful thank you." Eddie reached behind the couch and pulled out Jamie's gift. He opened it and smiled, she had a tee shirt made with the picture of the babies hugging embossed on it. He would wear it proudly.

Smiling Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist. "Merry Christmas, Eddie. They kissed deeply, eyes closed and very happy to be here as a family in each other's arms. They settled on the couch curled together. Eddie rested her head on Jamie's chest, arms wrapped against him as an orange fire burned in the mantle. She smiled happily.


	138. Chapter 138

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Eight

Max and April woke their parents up when the sun was shining. "Mommom, Daddy," Max pushed them "Santa come! Santa come!"

"Hmm…Oh wow! Look guys! You see Santa came because you were good," Jamie yawned.

Eddie stood up and smiled, "Okay, let's all go potty and then we'll open our presents. Come on."

Max and April got up following Eddie to the bathroom. Smiling Jamie grabbed his cell for pictures of their first Christmas together.

They kids dove into their presents, Max helped April with the bows as the big brother. Jamie snapped pictures of April holding up new books, Max a new brown teddy bear.

The main gifts that they each got were little red wagons. "Ooooh wagon... ride..." April clapped her hands climbing right into the wagon looking up.

Jamie took her for a ride then took Max. They were both so excited by that. He smiled at Eddie as he took Max out of the wagon, "Our first Christmas together went really well."

"And it's only half over," Eddie laughed. "Anita is making lamb."

Giving a smirk Jamie set Max down, "Time for Christmas breakfast. My mom used to make us special pancakes every Christmas with eggnog."

"Oh that sounds yummy!" Eddie smiled. "I'll do baths and you can do the breakfast?" Eddie phone was already ringing.

Jamie nodded heading to the kitchen so he could start breakfast. Eddie reached for her phone, "Hello?"

"Yes, she is finished and Jamie took pictures. Yes, we'll be over soon, we have to feed the babies."

From the kitchen Jamie could hear Eddie talking guessing it was Tom. "Who was that Eddie?"

"Tom, he's pushing me to come over there," Eddie sighed. "He didn't say it but I think he's angry about not seeing her Santa gifts." Jamie said nothing, he went back to making pancakes for the kids and coffee for him and Eddie.

They got the kids dressed and over to the mansion, they headed into the house and up the porch. Tom greeted them with a big smile, "There's my precious girl. Daddy missed you!"

Jamie held Max watching April smile at Tom reaching two little hands out. "Santa April good girl. Max good boy."

"Yes, you are good girl and a good boy. I have some surprises for you that Santa left at my house. I guess it was too much to fit in the apartment." Tom carried April and held Max's hand. Max looked back to make sure it was okay.

Jamie gave him a small nod and followed behind watching as they entered a large room decorated with a Christmas tree and plenty of unopened presents.

Two of the boxes were huge, twice the size of the babies. Jamie helped Max open the box with his name on it, and then helped April."Horsie," they both cried seeing a rocking horse underneath.

"Oh, Tom," Eddie smiled "Those are such nice, but big gifts. How are we going to get them back to the house?"

"Anita's nephew can run them over, or April can use hers here when she visits me. Maybe Max and April can share his at the apartment. I'm sure he's very good at sharing," Tom praised. "Can you share toys with April."

Max nodded, "April my fwend," he told Tom and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. "She find pig."

Tom was so proud of his little girl. All throughout the day, Jamie found himself trying to lay claim to his daughter. Anytime he was able to reach down and pick her up for a kiss and cuddle he did it. He didn't want to flaunt it in front of Tom, but Tom's constant references to himself as Daddy was bothering him.

Eddie noticed this and rubbed Jamie's back, "We'll tell him in a couple days, okay? Just relax, it's almost over."

Eddie gave Jamie a kiss, "Here, Anita, makes a wonderful shrimp ball. Put some in your mouth, take a breath, and enjoy the day. Look how much fun they are having."

Jamie had to admit it was adorable how well the children played together. When it was time for dinner, Tom said the blessing and Jamie helped Max while Eddie helped April. They didn't care for the lamb, Max spit his out and handed it to Jamie. Chicken stars were quickly made and distributed to the kids forthwith.

Eddie, Jamie, and the kids spent New Years' Day with Tom and Sue. The little ones were tired from being up to watch the ball dropping and napped longer and deeper than usual.

This let Jamie Eddie and Sue sit around the couch to talk without being interrupted.

"Eddie, the next day you're here with Tom is the 4th is that right?"

"Yes," Eddie confirmed for her.

"Good I'm thinking I'll take that day to do a few things for me," Sue said. "i'll get my hair done and..."

Eddie took a breath. "Actually, I was hoping you would be here. I have something I have to talk to Tom about and I'd like you here..."

Sue broke in, "You aren't going to ask him for divorce with him being so ill, are you?"

"No! No, not that," Eddie shook her head. "Not like this while he's ill. It's just…" Eddie looked at Jamie. She had to offer some kind of explanation to Sue. Jamie nodded his approval.

"It's just that we recently learned that April is… April is Jamie's daughter, I swear to you we had no idea, I'm so so sorry. We want to tell him and give him the opportunity to make whatever adjustments he might make…It may be easier on him with you there."

Sue was surprised, "Oh, oh, Eddie. I think you're right, it will be easier with me there. He'll be upset but...you know he would never blame you for that, you know that. You're right, he should know."

"Now that we know it's only fair that we tell him, we need to let him know," Jamie said.

Sue nodded, 'That's true. Well, I'll certainly be there when you talk with him. Absolutely, your heart was in two places Eddie, things like this happen then."

"Thank you Sue. That means a lot to us. We don't want to hurt him it'll be hard," Eddie sighed.

"Just be honest and speak from the heart," Sue advised. "I'll help with the rest." Jamie and Eddie had no doubt she would.

"You nervous?" Jamie asked Eddie a couple days later. They planned go see Tom today and let him know the truth about April's paternity. Eddie had turned it over and over in her head, debating whether or not to tell him. Ultimately, she decided that it would be a good idea, the right and fair thing to give Tom the chance to divorce her and correct his will.

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "But I'm okay, I am sure this is what I need to do. Sue said that three is a good time and Linda is minding both kids. I'm so glad you are coming with me, Jamie. I'm going to need you to get me through this."

Jamie gave Eddie a soft kiss, "I'm always going to be there for you, Eddie. I'll have your back. I have a couple things to do, then I'll pick you up and we'll go see Tom. Don't worry, you are making the right choice."

Jamie headed out to his errands, Eddie played blocks with the kids. They were sharing so well and had developed a very loving relationship.

Jamie arrived a little after lunch, then Linda to take care of the kids. They were down for their naps when she arrived, so she settled down to read her nursing journals while they rested.

Jamie pulled up to the gate exactly at 3PM. Tom was in the study watching a TV news program, he looked a lot better than when he was first diagnosed in the summer. If Eddie didn't know better, he was getting well again.

"Well," Tom smiled. "This is a nice surprise. Is everything okay? Is April all right?"

"Yes, April is fine, she's with Jamie's sister-in-law," Eddie replied. 'We needed to speak to you and Sue without the kids."

Tom called Sue in and the four adults sat. Eddie took a deep breath, "I really don't know how I'm going to say this. It was nothing intentional, it was an accident, a beautiful accident, and I didn't know before, I promise you I didn't know.

Tom smiled softly, "Stop, Eddie. Just stop. I know already, that April is not my biological child. I don't know how long I've known but…the way Jamie has been acting lately, since the allergy thing, and if you really look at her, she's got such a distinctive smile and her mannerisms are much more suited to Jamie…I wanted it to be true, I wanted her to be mine and in my heart, Eddie she is."

Eddie's eyes filled with tears, "Of course she is. She's still your daughter in those ways and the two years that you had with her won't be forgotten Tom. Not at all. I debated whether to tell you at all, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, I think that ship sailed," Tom replied. "When two people aren't faithful to themselves or their hearts, it's always very painful. Still, I'm choosing to see this as a blessing. A very sweet and dear blessing, that April will have a vital and active father in her life when I'm gone. If it wasn't me, Jamie, I'm glad it's you. She's come from true love."

Jamie shook Tom's hand, "You know I'll love her and raise her as best I know how. I don't want to hold back in my role as her father, Tom, but…"

"There are legalities," Tom replied. "I know that. I'll have to sign papers to terminate my parental rights so you can legally change her name and…"

"We're not thinking of that now," Eddie replied. "April will stay your legal daughter until…then we'll go about the legalities that is of course, if that's how you want it. I wanted to come and tell you so I could give you the opportunity to divorce me quickly, disown April from her inheritance, and…"

"Not at all," Tom replied. "Not at all, she's my daughter, you are my wife…you are both going to remain as you are in the estate. I know you'll make sure that all of my requests are carried out as I outlined. You'll see the business survives. I have another item, though, Jamie I'd like to discuss with you for Max's music. I would like to set up a scholarship fund for him, so that, if he chooses to do so, the money is there for him to study with the best of the best."

"Oh Tom, that's generous of you but," Jamie began. "I can't take your money."

"It's not for you, it's for Max," Tom replied. "Think on it. I'll add it as a caveat in my will."

All the while, Sue had remained quiet. She felt badly that they had waited so long, that she would not be able to give Tom the heir that he felt April was, that he was allowing her to be. When Tom stated, "There's no reason anyone outside this room, with the exception of your family, Jamie, needs to know this."

Jamie and Eddie both nodded their heads, they would respect that part of Tom's wishes. "My sister is looking to sell the business upon my death, and this house. I don't want that to happen, I'm trusting that it won't."

The rest of the conversation went smoothly, turning to visitation and other logistics. Eddie and Jamie agreed that Tom could spend as much time with April as he wished. Nothing had to change just yet, things would before they knew it.

Just as Jamie and Eddie were planning to leave, Eddie spoke up. "Sue, Jamie, could you please give Tom and I a minute alone?"

Sue stood up and smiled, "Of course. Jamie, let me get you a drink before you leave. This way."

Jamie gave Eddie an encouraging smile and stepped away.

Eddie took a breath then reached for Tom's hand. She held it tight between both of her own. "I know through this whole marriage we haven't been faithful and we've each been in love with another person. I'm so glad you want April to remain your daughter in heart and spirit like she's always been. Jamie, me, the kids and Sue are here for you please don't think you're alone in this...you've been such a wonderful friend and support to me Tom. I'm so grateful that I've had you in my life you've truly been a blessing to me and I hope that we've been to you as well."

Tom's eyes misted over, "You have. I would not be here without you and Sue. I am so frightened, Eddie. That little girl makes it so much easier, and the support…Promise me you'll be there?"

"Of course, I will be there. Let's have you see April Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday for now, Sunday is the only day that we really can't make work."

Tom nodded, "Sounds good me." He stood and hugged Eddie tight. "I love you, Eddie."

Eddie smiled and held him back, "I love you, too."

"That went way differently than I expected," Eddie sighed. "Are you okay?"

Jamie nodded he was okay almost relieved. "Yeah I should be asking if you're okay."

"Yes," Eddie smiled. "Yes I'm good. I'm really good. I'm so glad this is over."

He leaned over kissing her cheek. "Let's go home to our kids."

Looping an arm around her Jamie led Eddie back to the car eager to get back home and see their kids.


	139. Chapter 139

Chapter One Hundred Thirty Nine

Linda was playing with Max and April. They were nicely playing Simon Says.

"Hey, having fun with Aunt Linda?" Jamie smiled kneeling beside them for hugs and kisses. "Thanks for watching them, Linda."

"They were both angels," Linda smiled. "You look so much better."

"We are, it was such a relief," Eddie smiled at Linda as she sat down.

"Danny did tell me, and I think it's precious." Linda cuddled April. "They both are."

Jamie sighed contentedly, "Thanks Linda for everything."

Linda gave Jamie a hug, "Let me know when you are ready to tell the rest of the family. We'll make a huge dinner."

"We appreciate that, Lin," Jamie hugged her seeing her out. When he returned Jamie pulled both kids close kissing their heads.

April put her little arms around Jamie's neck and gave him a kiss, "She knew all along, smart girl." Max toddled over to Eddie, "Mommom, I tursty." Eddie smiled.

"Come on big boy, let's get you a drink. You may be right Jamie, she did know all along." Eddie bounced Max on her hip, making him giggle as she brought him into the kitchen for a drink.

They chose that Sunday to let Erin, Nikki and the boys in on the secret. Linda made a roast and ordered a birthday cake. April's first birthday as a Reagan.

Jamie was nervous how his sister and niece would react knowing the boys would be happy. Jamie held onto April keeping an eye on her until dinner.

"Who's the cake for?" Nikki asked. "I thought her birthday was in June." She looked at Eddie.

Eddie looked at Jamie and bit her tongue. "Eddie's birthday is in June, but April's party was ruined when she had an allergic reaction and was rushed to the hospital. We're having a little party here since she only turned 2 two weeks ago." Nikki rolled her eyes.

Jamie bounced April smiling at her "Isn't that right big girl? Show Nicki how smart you are. How old are you and Max?"

April cooed and smiled at Nikki, "Two..." April replied. "I two, Maxy two..."

"Yes, you are. Do you want to play with Max until dinner?" Jamie set her down watching the two hold hands toddling to their toys.

Erin looked at the two of them, "He's really taken with her, I guess it runs in the family. Tom doesn't mind April spending so much time away considering he's so sick."

"No, he's fine with it. Tom is a good guy," Jamie said quietly watching the kids play together.

Dinner was ready at four and the family gathered around the table. Jamie looked at Frank and he nodded to him. "Everyone, Jamie has an announcement to make, he and Eddie. Jamie..."

Jamie cleared his throat reaching under the table for Eddie's hand. "Actually, Eddie and I have an announcement." He smiled at her, "We found out something while April was in the hospital."

"Oh, God,'" Nikki rolled her eyes. "She's not pregnant! Uncle Jamie, this is really going too far. It's sick to do this, to play house while her husband is dying, that's...she's corrupted you!"

Danny gave his niece a sharp look across the table. Jamie bit his lip, he wanted to get this news out. He knew that Nikki and Erin would have marginal reactions, they were not fans of his relationship with Eddie. "Actually, the reason April was in the hospital was from an allergic reaction to an olive."

"That's a pretty rare allergy," Erin observed. "Oh! Oh...God, Jamie! She's...April is your daughter! April is a Reagan, that's why the big deal about her party!"

Jamie grinned and glared at his sister, "Yeah, we found out at the hospital that she has the olive allergy like I have and like Joe had, so we requested a DNA test. April is our daughter."

"Jamie, if that's the case, you have to move now to protect your rights," Erin quickly advised. "You have to file a request to terminate Tom's rights, give her your name on the birth certificate, like it should have been, but I guess the money was too good to pass up, that's the only reason anyone would keep a child from her rightful father, money!"

Jamie put a hand up to stop her, "We've got it under control Erin. Tom is a really good guy and until now Eddie had no reason to suspect that April belonged to anyone else but him."

"Of course, she did," Nikki piped up. "If she knew she had sex with you. Uncle Jamie, how could you?"

"Nikki, you are far too young to really understand this," Jamie said firmly. "No, you're not too young, you're too immature. Life isn't always wrapped up in a neat little bow. It's not that simple. I made a lot of mistakes that led Eddie to make some mistakes, but most of this is on my head! I pushed Eddie away, I pushed her into Tom's arms and the night we made this little one, was supposed to be the only time we were together. I was married, she was dating Tom! But life isn't always like that! I don't blame Eddie for any of this. She didn't know and I didn't know, but none of the whys or the hows are really important or any of your business!"

"Jamie," Frank spoke to try to calm Jamie down.

"No, Dad," Jamie replied. "She's being rude and no one else is speaking up. Eddie and April are family. April is a Reagan, Eddie will be one and they deserve the same respect as everyone else! That means, and listen up, everyone! Eddie has a first name, use it! That's basic and you know better. I won't tolerate this attitude toward the woman I love, the mother of my children. To disrespect her, is to disrespect me and Pop! Pop, knew the truth before we did, he was delighted, your attitude, Nikki, and yours Erin, is an affront to his memory. You should both be ashamed of yourselves! I think apologies are in order!"

Erin sighed, biting back tears, "I am sorry, Eddie. I was only thinking of Jamie's safety if something happened to you while Tom was still living and listed on April's birth certificate. I think it was wrong what you did, not trying to find out, not thinking about it, but what matters is what happens now. We have new people at our table."

Eddie accepted the apology. Jamie's temper had upset her, she wanted to just let things go and let the day go in peace. Still, it did feel good that Jamie would stand up to his family for her, it demonstrated his commitment and that meant everything.

Nikki shook her head, she would never accept Eddie as a member of the family, not ever. Still, she knew she'd better so she faked it. "All right, I'll say Eddie from now on. I will try not to be rude, but in this family we earn respect."

Frank looked at her, "Yes, we do, and we lose it in the eyes of others when we don't hold ourselves to the best of standards. Rethink your tone."

Nikki knew she couldn't win this, she pasted on a smile, but did not utter an apology. That was something she wouldn't give in to, not even for Frank.

Jamie was still angry when they got home from dinner. Nikki was so out of line, he had the right to lose his temper. "Jamie want to help put the kids down for bed," Eddie asked snapping him out of his thoughts.

Jamie nodded. He could tell Eddie was a bit angry with him. His outburst had embarrassed her as well as delighted her. She was grateful he stood up for her, but she was still upset he made a spectacle of himself. She handed him Max carrying April to her room taking her time changing their girl and putting her to bed.

Max was next, he was giving Jamie a hard time going to sleep. "Mommom, sing Max. Want Mommom."

"I understand buddy, but Mommom is with helping April right now, all right? Change your clothes and I'll call her to sing," Jamie said softly.

Jamie got Max into his jammies and tucked into his bed. April went to sleep quickly so Eddie poked her head in, "What's the problem here?"

"Max won't go to sleep until you sing to him," Jamie sighed as Max held out two little hands.

"He only does that when he's upset," Eddie sighed. "What's wrong Max? Tell Mommom..." Eddie took him and held him close, lying down with him.

Max lay close to her, eyes wide. "Sing, Mommom. Pease sing Maxy." Jamie watched from the doorway.

Eddie didn't want to upset the tired little boy, she held him even closer and sang the Serbian lullaby he liked so much. He was out in less than a minute. Jamie waited to kiss his son's head after he fell asleep. He tucked Max in not waiting for Eddie to head for their room.

"Jamie, I want thank you for standing up for me. I love you for doing that, I guess I just felt like it fanned the flames. I don't want a rift with your family, for your sake."

Eddie's eyes held his as she stepped close to hold him tight. "And not for us."

"I'm not mad at you Eddie, I'm upset with my niece for what she said about you. You are part of my family..." Jamie looked up at her.

"I know, let's agree here and now, that this little foursome is number one. I know we've said it before, especially with Tom, but given the new circumstances, let's say it again. You, me, Max, and April, we come first." She laid her head on Jamie's chest. "You are my world, I don't like seeing you get so upset."

"I don't either Eddie. You three come above everything and I don't want anyone talking about you like that."

Jamie cupped her cheek, "Let's go to bed. I have a feeling Max will be a recurring little man in our room tonight." Eddie nodded, she too had the same feeling.

While Eddie changed, Jamie lit the candles in the wall scones. A night like tonight begged for their special brand of intimacy. When Eddie stepped out of the bathroom, Jamie smiled at her. She was a small women, petite and beautiful with breasts full and round. They rose and fell slowly with each breath.

He moved closer and in a rapid movement slipped his arms around her waist, nearly lifting her from the floor, and then covered her mouth with his, engulfing her in a heady scent. She clung to him in a strong embrace. She saw herself as if from outside her body and felt the intense sensation of his tongue parting her lips and thrusting within. There grew a gentle feeling of pleasure as he worshipped her mouth.

He stepped back, smiling, with a fire in his eyes. He took his hands from her and pushed the material of the gown aside. She gasped as the cool air hit her body and the nightgown gathered around her feet. She stared at him for a split second before she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. He caught her shoulders and enfolded her in his arms. She was left breathless each time his mouth took hers and passionate kisses covered her face and bosom. She felt his hands go up her back and with an easy tug he pulled her hair out of the scrunchie. Her naked breasts were crushed against his chest. His eyes burned with passion's fire as he stood enjoying her charms.

He lifted her all the way and laid her on their bed. He parted both her thighs with one of his own and settled himself between them. She was ready for him and he for her. He thrust his hips, sinking into her, joining their bodies and their hearts.

They fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms, their bodies still joined at the core.

Eddie heard it first, her maternal instincts always sharp and at the ready. Max was whimpering, not full out crying, but whimpering.

As she listened the whimpering grew louder until it became a cry.

Eddie moved from the bed and went to his room. "Maxy, Mommom is here. What's wrong?"

Max looked up reaching two little hands out to her. "Mommom Mommom..." He cried.

Eddie took the baby in her arms and felt the heat on his body. Max had been very ill last year and she was nervous and upset about that happening again. "Max, tell Mommom."

Max wailed clinging onto her his face warm as he brought his hand up over his ear, sounding nasal.

"Your ears hurt" Eddie picked the baby up and took him to the big bedroom. Jamie had just woken up. Now April was crying.

Jamie got up going to check on April bringing her into Max's room. "Is he okay, Eddie?" he gently rocked April worried.

"He's got a fever, I think an ear infection, he's at his ears," Eddie replied.

Max continued wailing, trying to butt his head against Eddie holding his ear. "I have the pediatrician's number, hold on."

April crawled over and tried to snuggle Max, but he wanted nothing to do with it. He just wanted his Mommom. Jamie spoke to the doctor's service and made an appointment for Max first thing in the morning.

"I don't think we have any leftover ear drops for him. I was at Dad's house when this last happened. I could run to the store and pick some up. Do we have baby aspirin?"

"We have drops and baby Tylenol in the cabinet over the sink," Eddie replied. "And bring a cool cloth."

Jamie went into the bathroom coming back with the bottle of ear drops, the baby Tylenol, and a cool cloth. "I know Max..." He sighed hating to hear his boy crying like this.

Eddie got the medication in efficiently and Max began to settle down. Jamie took April back to bed and tucked Max between them.

He looped an arm around both Eddie and Max watching his son sleep. He gave him a gentle kiss on his head.

Max cried through his doctor appointment. Eddie could not leave him and it was Tom's day with April.

"I know Mommom is here, the doctor is going to help you Max," Eddie assured. The doctor smiled as he checked Max's ears.

"Double ear infection and sinusitis," he diagnosed.

Eddie hugged Max tight, "Thank you doctor. What kind of medicine would you prescribe for him?"

"Amoxicillin and some drops for his ears. Along with fluids and rest he'll be himself in a few days."

"Thank you very much okay Maxy, let's get you home and settled back in bed," Eddie picked Max up hugging him.

Max clung to her not crying anymore, but making small noises. "Mommom Max?"

"Yes, Mommom is going to stay with my Max." Eddie cooed. She didn't know how she was going to handle bringing April to Tom's with Max feeling sick.

Max dozed holding his ears whining quietly. When they reached home Eddie took him inside to his room.

"Jamie, can you please bring April to her playtime with Tom? Max is glued to me."

Jamie walked in holding April "What did the doctor say? Is he all right?"

"Double ear infection and sinusitis, poor little guy."

"Oh, Maxy. I'll take April and come right back. Does he need anything from the pharmacy?"

"I've got it all here, and she might cry, she is getting a little clingy, so just use your judgment. I have this." Eddie tucked a sheet around Max and laid down next to him.

"Thanks, I'll be back soon call if you need anything. Say bye to mommy April. "

"Bye bye," April waved her hand and went with her father to see Tom.


	140. Chapter 140

Chapter One Hundred Forty

Jamie took April home just before dinner. Eddie had Max sleeping on the couch with her. Jamie came in the house with ice cream and pizza. April was wearing most of her vanilla kiddie cone on her face.

"Hey, how is he doing?" Jamie sat April down on the floor going over to check on his son. "April had fun, she was a little apprehensive though."

"Oh, it was Daddy Tom, Honey," Eddie smiled. "Did you and Dada get pizza?"

"Pizza!" April looked up smiling from her toys.

They ate as a family. Max nibbled on some pizza crust and sat on Eddie's lap. They watched TV together and Max slept with Jamie and Eddie.

Two days later, Max's fever broke and he was running around the house like usual. Eddie took April to her playtime with Tom, but the little girl was sluggish and tired. Eddie engaged her in play, but by the time she got home, it was clear something was off.

"Come cuddle on the couch with Daddy," Jamie opened his arms for April to sit with him.

"Eddie," Jamie called out when he felt April's head. "She's got a temperature."

Eddie leaned down pressing her lips against April's head. "She's warm...Can you bring her to her bed?"

Jamie carried April to her bedroom and laid her on her bed. Max was only just better. "Guess this is life with little kids, huh?" Jamie asked Eddie.

"Yeah this is our life now, but the cuddles and kisses are worth it," Eddie smiled. "I'll be right in to say goodnight."

Jamie did Max's bedtime, Eddie sang his song, Jamie rocked his little girl...together they weathered this bump in their road, just as they would all of those to come, as partners.

The rest of January was spent fighting colds, flus, wet feet, and cold noses. Before Jamie and Eddie even realized it, it was February 13th, and the next day was Valentine's Day. "I can't believe that I didn't make a reservation anywhere," Jamie sighed. "We're going to end up having Valentine's dinner at McDonalds."

"I'd be happy with that, Jamie," Eddie replied. "Honestly, but why don't I cook us dinner and you can get a great bottle of wine, some flowers, and really nice chocolate covered fruit for dessert?" She made this suggestion with a kiss.

"Kind of like a partnership huh?" Jamie asked. They prided their relationship on that and it would be a good way to really celebrate that part of their lives, doing for each other on Valentine's Day.

Eddie planned to make her Hungarian chicken paprika and cabbage dumplings for dinner. She started making the noodles from scratch that morning so they had plenty of time to rest and dry. She wanted this dinner to be perfect.

Frank picked up the children at noon and took them to his office before keeping them over night with Erin for back-up. Eddie took her time on their meal, she didn't often have time to cook big meals like this for Jamie and she wanted to do that for him. Unfortunately, Jamie got stuck with two late arrests and barely made it to the store to pick up the wine and chocolate before they closed. He was over two hours late.

Eddie tried not to get upset, Jamie did call her but that didn't save her dinner. This dish had a precise timing or it would be dry and gross. She wasn't going to show Jamie her upset though, she would simply order a pizza and that would be that.

Pizza delivery must have been the go to for many that day because Jamie arrived home with caramels instead of fruit and champagne instead of wine before it arrived. "Happy Valentine's…" Jamie stepped in and saw Eddie tossing their meal in the garbage bin. "Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie."

"It's okay,' Eddie replied moving over to give Jamie a kiss. "Life with a cop. I'll make it another time, it would have been horrible to eat. I ordered a pizza with Julius Caesar's grandfather, but it's not here yet as you can see."

"Don't worry. Just come here…" Jamie pulled Eddie close and held her close to him. "I love you so much, we don't need a special day to remind us of that, but it is here and I am happy as long as I'm with you."

Eddie's eyes were shining, "I'm glad as long as I'm with you. Let's pop the old cork while we wait for the pizza."

Eddie got the glasses as Jamie went to pop the cork. It was giving him a hard time but it let go as Eddie stepped into the living room. The cork shot out, beaning her right between the eyes.

The rest of the night didn't go much better. The pizza was wrong when it arrived and the chocolates weren't the proper type, milk instead of dark. To top it off, Eddie ended up with a massive headache and a champagne stained the carpet. Jamie spent the rest of his night going to McDonald's, scrubbing the rug, and icing Eddie's head. By the time they went to bed, the couple was just glad the day was over.

Eddie and Jamie slept that night as they did every other one, wrapped in each other's arms. As the New York morning dawned, however, Eddie woke up, headache gone, to inhale Jamie's masculine scent.

She laid her head on his chest and started to rub her cheek up and down. They usually slept in the buff, keeping their robes on hand if the kids needed them. Last night was no exception. She felt Jamie's morning hardness against her leg. Gently, she manipulated his long, strong sex in her hand, awaking a sleeping giant.

He took her mouth in a kiss that was hungry and wild. She wasn't expecting him to response with such intensity, not that she would complain. She encircled her arms around his neck and savored the taste and heated male taste of him. She returned his kiss with all the wild desperation and desire she felt, she could never get enough of being in his arms.

Never in her life had she been kissed the way Jamie did it, her wild response to him came as naturally as breathing. She felt his tongue and opened her mouth, accepting him, wanting him.

She heard and felt his quiet groan of desire as he imprisoned her against the bed in one quick turn using his body as a wall to keep her close. His hands were unrelenting, going to her breasts to touch and explore, making her gaps with wild passion. His hands moved upward and enclosed her face. He pulled her forward a bit to capture her mouth again. His hands moved downward past her waist to the curve of her hips. He pulled her against him, letting her feel his arousal as his mouth devoured hers. He kissed hotly down her neck and she arched her head, giving him free access, shivering when he began to lick the delicate place inside her ear.

She moved against him; touching, savoring, giving herself to him as completely as she ever had. She was gasping for breath, her breasts rose and fell rapidly as she stared into his eyes, seeing love and desire reflecting there.

He rolled again, so she was positioned over his throbbing sex. Her hair cascaded around them in long, blond swirls. Their gazes were locked firmly as he took her hips and moved her down onto his elongated member. She set the pace, long and painfully slow gyrations, up and down on his thick shaft, never quite taking the same amount as the time before. The suspense was killing him, when or if she'd envelope his entire penis in her velvety folds.

Finally, when neither could take another moment, she lifted her hips and slid down with a cry of passion and delight. The pulses shook them both, her orgasm feeding his and his feeding hers until her body convulsed once, twice…three times…She could not contain the cries, she didn't want to.

Exhausted, she collapsed onto his chest. Immediately, she was taken into his arms and held. The difference, she thought between love and sex, was always in this crucial moment, when bodies cooled and hearts settled. He stroked her back softly, dropping tender kisses on her forehead until they both fell back to sleep.

It was a lovely spring day in the beginning in March when the little family finally made it to the cemetery to visit Henry and Joe. Jamie went with the rest of the Reagans earlier that week but now he took Eddie and the kids. Eddie was struggling with the loss as much as he was

.

They stood in front of the gravestone Jamie's arm around Eddie his own eyes red and bloodshot. "Hey Pop," his voice was hoarse.

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest. "I'm so sorry Pop. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize I had a Reagan baby. I know you did and I know you loved her so much. We loved you so much!"

Jamie kissed her head, "He did Eddie, and he loved you too. He's watching from above and smiling at us, I know he is. He's happy now that the family knows."

"I miss him Jamie, and I hate to see you hurting and missing him too." They embraced concentrating just on each other, not noticing the kids had toddled off to play by the nearby headstones.

"Pop was a big part of my life, he helped raise us. He embodied what we believe in; he made us the people we are today. He was there when we needed help, he would always pick us up." Tears swelled in his eyes and slowly fell down his cheeks.

"I know and he helped save us too," Eddie sighed. "His last words were for us. For our family." Max's little voice broke into their talk. "Mommom look!"

Eddie turned and her jaw dropped. Both Max and April carrying handfuls of flags as they walked back to them.

"Maxy, April, no no..." Eddie scolded trying not to laugh. "These don't belong to us. Jamie..."

Jamie lifted Max setting him beside April taking both their hands. "These flags belong to the other people guys, we have to leave them here. Let's put everything back okay?"

"Poppop," April told him. Defiant, she put the flowers and flags on Henry's grave. Both kids were filthy and very proud of what they did.

"Oh I see, you want to put flowers on Pop Pop's grave. We can get flowers for him but these are the other people's..." Jamie carefully fixed the flowers and flags.

Eddie had no idea where they went, she helped the kids find holes to put them in. She felt a warmth come over her, she knew it was Henry's smile.

Jamie and Eddie did their best to match up the flags then took their two muddy babies home. They decided to clean April first since she was dirtier. "I don't even know where to begin," Eddie laughed.

"Strip her and dip her," Jamie laughed. "Yes, you are messy. Throw her clothes out I'll put them in the wash with his. He's just in his pull-up."

Eddie reached over trying to find the cleanest spot lift April. She couldn't help but laugh as April clapped happily making more mud through her hands.

Eddie finally got her stripped and saw Max run by in just his diaper his little feet making tracks in the carpet. She corralled him into the bathroom until Jamie appeared a second later. "We need to keep them confined come here you." He lifted a giggling Max up.

"Make mess!" He told April not seeing he did the same thing.

"No more messes! You and April need a good bath then play nice with toys," Jamie told Max.

"Boat..." Max put his boat in the water. Eddie shook her head and plopped April in the water. April splashed the water with her hands making it turn brown. She took the boat moving it laughing as water jumped up at Eddie.

Eddie was just as wet as April when she finished. She drained the tub and rinsed it through before refilling it for Max.

Taking April out Jamie wrapped her in a panda bear towel waiting until Eddie was ready grinning. "Guess you needed a bath too huh?"

"Guess so..." Eddie laughed. "Come on, Max. Let's clean up." Max wiggled and kicked

"No no bath! Play!" He turned trying to slip away refusing to get in smearing mud on Eddie's hands and arms.

With the mud all over him Eddie lost her grip, thankfully Jamie was quick transferring April and grabbed his son. Max turned splashing mud everywhere on Eddie and Jamie while April was still in the towel.

Eddie finally got the slippery boy into the tub. She gave him a toy to play with while she got the mud off. Grinning Jamie got April ready in fresh clothes while Eddie finished with Max. He glanced the bathroom a mix of mud and water.

"Next time we get a bright idea...let's cancel it." They both laughed Eddie cleaning Max off while Jamie turned to cleaning the bathroom, he and Eddie would have to be next.

Spring came early that year. March gently gave way to April, and before they knew it, it was time for Montana. Jamie and Eddie spent the day together cuddled in each other's arms before Jamie left on an earlier flight to attend one of the sergeants' seminars. "Just a little while and we'll see each other again."

"Seven whole days and no interruptions, just you and me and nine, only nine mandatory seminars."

Jamie smiled cradling her tight, "Sounds perfect I can't wait Eddie." He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear letting his hand linger there.

"This year I'll show you how to ride a horse," Eddie smiled. "You always wondered how I did so well at it."

Jamie smiled with an idea for a romantic horse ride along the mountains "Sure eddie..." he held her tightly.

"So, I'm going to talk to Tom about April. I just don't know...he's so much better but... I just don't know about him keeping up with her."

"You still want him to see her maybe Sue can be there when April goes over just in case," Jamie offered.

"She doesn't like Sue, Anita will be a help. I'm going to sleep over there tonight and let her get acclimated

Jamie gave a small nod cradling Eddie. "My flight leaves at nine so I can make sure everything is set."

"I'll miss you tonight, but we'll make up for it tomorrow."

"I'll miss you too going to be a lonely sleep without you."

They kissed and cuddled a bit longer until the kids got up from their naps. Frank came to get Max. "Be good for Grandpa," Eddie told him. Practice piano hard and show Mommom and Daddy when we get back"

Max waved a hand blowing kisses at them as Frank carried him out smiling at spending quality time together.


	141. Chapter 141

Chapter One Hundred Forty One

Eddie and April drove Jamie to the airport. They dropped him off at the kiss and fly and gave him a warm hug. "Love you Eddie," he pulled her close and gave her a lingering kiss. "I'll call when I land. Bye April, see you soon." Jamie turned to give her a hug too.

April waved at Jamie, "Bye Daddy...bye bye." Jamie gave one more kiss and hug before picking up his bags walking to the terminal.

Eddie spoke to Tom on the way home from the airport before she was to leave for Montana. "You sure you are watching her and having Max to play a couple times a week?"

"Of course I am Eddie, don't worry okay? April will be fine, she'll have fun just enjoy your trip."

"Okay, I'll stay the night in Manhasset so that she can acclimate a bit."

Tom smiled on his end, "That sounds good, she's very attached to you."

"You are going to have to keep her busy. I can get Danny and Linda to watch her, or Kara..." Eddie was worried about Tom's health and the active two year old.

"Sue will be here too Eddie. I promise you, April will be fine. If I can't I'll ask Sue and I'll play as much as I can."

Eddie was satisfied with that. She got her bags that night and took April to Tom's. Max was already with Frank planning an exciting week with grandpa.

"April," Eddie called. "Do you want to help me pack for Montana?"

"Mommy, why go?" April asked. "Pretty?"

"Oh, yes, baby," Eddie smiled. "Hand me that pretty white nightgown…It's pretty there. One day I'll take you there." Eddie still had a few items left to pack here. That lacy nightie was reserved for nights at the Plaza and for Montana. She left it here so that they didn't get tempted.

April smiled, "I miss you."

"Oh, I know, honey," Eddie smiled. 'But you'll spend a lot of time with Daddy Tom and that'll be fun right?"

"Yes," April smiled. "Got new books. Do with Daddy?"

"Of course you can," Eddie smiled. "In a little while, we'll order pizza and watch Pocahontas. Go off and find Anita, tell her Mommy said you can have two small cookies." Eddie told April. She scampered off to her room with all of her energy.

Tom stepped into the room, he always took the convention week off from work and this year he was going to make the best of that time. He was feelings so much better, he could enjoy this special time. "I thought the children's museum at South Street would be nice this year," Tom smiled. "We're going to get a seafood dinner, April loves her shrimp cocktail …" Tom stopped talking mid-sentence.

Eddie looked up to tease him about forgetting the name when she saw him clutching his chest and slumped over. "Tom!" Eddie took one look then grabbed the phone.

She had the phone in her hand and her husband's head in her lap in seconds. While Eddie waited for the ambulance, she called upon all the training she had to save her husband's life.

The ambulance arrived in only minutes, and whisked Tom away with Eddie and April following behind. Sue wasn't due back for a couple days, she'd gone to see her sister. Eddie texted Kara, "SOS…Something is wrong with Tom. I need you now!"

It was only seconds before Kara texted back.

Eddie held April in her arms, slowly rocking the hysterical child back and forth. "Hush, honey. Hush…It's going to be okay, baby. It's going to be okay…"

Kara hurried to Eddie, "Hey, what's going on? Do you know anything yet?"

Eddie shook her head, "Can you take her so I can find out what's going on?"

Kara nodded and took the sobbing child, "Come here, April. Mommy's going to find out what's happening, okay. It's okay…" Kara stroked April's sandy blonde hair. She had a bad feeling about what was going on.

Eddie was only gone a few minutes, 'They're still working on him…" Eddie sniffled and her voice broke. "But it's his heart…and it…" Eddie let out a sob. The news was not encouraging.

"Kara, I need you to do something for me, please…"

Kara always knew it was going to involve a message to Jamie. "Anything Eddie, tell me…"

"Call Jamie, he's already in Montana. He went a day earlier than me for a seminar and to get a private suite and make everything perfect for this week but…" Eddie shook her head. "There's no way I can meet him and he'll drive himself crazy. Please…"

"Of course," Kara replied and handed April back to Eddie. "I'll step out and call him now."

While Kara was on the phone, she heard the doctor call Eddie's name…a few seconds passed then a cry Kara had heard so many times on the job, it was the cry that only came from grief.

Once Eddie started to speak to Sue, Kara was certain what happened. She would tell Jamie, she knew that he would rush back, what she didn't know was how Eddie would cope.

Eddie contemplated how she would do this. Sue was visiting her sister in Yonkers, she didn't go far from Tom's side. How would she tell her this?"

Eddie didn't know what words would soothe her if this was Jamie. She wasn't sure what words would soothe her now. Eddie was shaking. She dialed Sue's number and waited. "Hello...Eddie, is that you?" Eddie rarely called her. Sue's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah it's me Sue." Eddie's throat tightened unable to get the words out starting to sob again. "Sue I'm so sorry."

"What's wrong?" Sue asked. "It's Tom, he's had another spell. I'm coming back straight off, I know you leave for Montana...where are you..." Eddie stopped her. "Sue, I'm so sorry. Tom passed away a few minutes ago."

There was a pause as Sue registered what Eddie said, her breathing into the phone was the only way Eddie knew they were still connected. Finally, Sue began to sob.

Sue's sister came to take the phone, "Thank you for calling, and please let us know the arrangements. I'm going to keep my sister close right now. If you need help let us know."

Eddie nodded and held April tighter, her heart went out to Sue. If this was her Jamie…

Jamie was just settling into their elegant room when his phone rang. When he saw Kara Walsh on the ID, he snatched the phone up. "Kara, what happened!?"

Kara wanted to get back to her friend, she could hear Eddie crying and little April gagging on her own tears feeding off the trauma of the day. "Jamie, I'm sorry, I have to be very quick, Tom…Tom had a heart attack and passed away."

"Oh no," Jamie sighed. "Oh…how's Eddie and April?"

"This happened seconds ago, I only know he's dead because of the scream…I have to get back but she can't…"

"I know, I would never expect…I'm on the next flight home," Jamie told Kara and hung up before Kara could say another word.

Kara hurried back to Eddie. Her friend was doubled over with April on her lap, trying to keep it together for her child. "Let me call Renzulli, have Marie come and pick April up…You have to calm down and get control before you can…"

Eddie held her baby tighter, "No, I'm not letting her out of my sight." Eddie rocked April back and forth. Kara put her arms around both of them, there was nothing she could say or do to make it better, and all she could do was be there until Eddie told her the next steps.

Jamie caught the redeye back from Montana, his only objective to get to Eddie. She'd need him now, this was a job for a best friend, for someone that you trusted, for someone that loved you. Eddie was in pain, their precious daughter was in pain. He needed to be there to fulfill his roles as soulmate and father.

It took Kara two hours to get Eddie to leave the hospital. Kara sat with April while Eddie had a few minutes with Tom. When Eddie came out of the trauma room, she had her shoulders back and her head up. She was pushing it all down for now. "Let's get her back home and to bed," Eddie sighed. "Can you stay?"

Kara smiled. "You got it."

Jamie arrived at Eddie's Manhasset home mid-morning. He looked terrible, he was so tired from the flight but nothing was going to keep him from being there for Eddie.

Kara called Eddie to the door. Eddie slid out of April's bed and headed to the living room. "Jamie? How did…What are you doing here? How are you here so fast?' She was so grateful to see him and have him close. It was what she needed now, after such a sudden loss.

Eddie had been crying, her eyes were swollen, her hair all askew, and she was still the most beautiful site Jamie had ever seen. Jamie stepped closer, "When Kara told me about Tom, all I could think was that I needed to get here and be here with you. I'm so very very sorry for your loss."

Jamie reached out for Eddie, the magnetism that they never could and never wanted to fight won out over Eddie's guilt and grief. She fell into Jamie's arms. Jamie caught Eddie and held her tight to his chest, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he murmured over and over again against her hair. "I'm here, it's going to be okay."

Eddie pulled back, tears running down her face. Eddie desperately wanted to believe that was true, but in her grief she couldn't see how it could be. As much as she and Jamie wanted to be together, she didn't' want it like this. Divorcing Tom was one thing, but burying him…with no warning, he'd been doing so well, it was overwhelming her. As Jamie cradled her, Eddie thought about Tom cradling April and how much April would miss the man that had been her father for two years of her life. She had a connection with him, even if she did play shy. As smart as April was, she wasn't even three. This would be hard for her to understand.

Jamie was speaking again, in his low, soft tone he used when he wanted to convey the utmost understanding. "You've got to be in shock. Let's sit, we can sit and talk or…"

Eddie sat with Jamie, his arm around her shoulder like it had been so many times in many years of being partners and friends. Jamie rubbed Eddie's arm up and down, no words, just his presence until he finally asked, "What can I do? Can I help with the arrangements? Help with April? Just tell me what you need, I'm here. My family will be here if you need that, if you need a big brother, or a dad…"

Eddie took a breath, "I don't know what I need…" Eddie sighed and burrowed closer. Jamie's presence was safe and secure, it had been since the first day.

Jamie nodded, "Well, let's just…" Jamie moved her out of his arms and leaned her back. "Go to the tried and true…put your legs up on the couch and lean back. I'm going to get you some tea and we'll sit and talk it all out. I'll be right back."

Eddie nodded and rested her aching head. Kara poked her head out, "How's she doing?"

"She's in shock, I mean, I think even medically she's shocky, so I'm focused on that but I know we have to shift to April. I'm just concerned if I don't take care of Eddie…seeing anything with her Mommy might really…"

April stuck her head out from the bedroom, she had heard Jamie's familiar voice and slid out of her bed. "Daddy Jamie?"

"Hey, short stuff," Jamie smiled. "Got a hug for me?"

Jamie dropped to his knee and held his arms out for his pretty little girl. She fell into his embrace as easily as her mother did. "Daddy Tom went way Heaven." She told him plainly before she cried again.

"I know, ssh…I know…" Jamie rocked April as Anita got the boiling tea kettle for Eddie's tea. "I know, it's really sad that happened, huh? My Mommy is in Heaven too, and my grandma and grandpa, and I bet we can say a very special prayer to them so they look out for Daddy Tom and make sure he gets settled in and all up there, what do you think?

April though a moment, "Kay," April said with conviction and no tears. "Now please?"

"You bet, let's do it right now!" Jamie took the girl into her room and sat down with her on his lap. Together they made the Sign of the Cross and held hands asking Mary, Betty, and Henry to take special care of Tom. The prayer seemed to help April, she stopped crying and then showed she was truly Eddie's daughter, "I hungee! Pizza Daddy?"

"No," Jamie laughed. "It's 10 in the morning, we can't get pizza yet. I'm going to make Mommy some tea and toast, I can make you eggies."

April went and sat with Eddie, "Eddie, what if I took her to my house and she got a chance to play with Jake and Alex. She loves them and they love her. It'll be easier all around."

Kara had made the offer to give Eddie some time but Eddie wasn't sure she was ready to let April go. Still, it would be good for her to have some time and some space to get the arrangements made and have room to breathe. "Of course, April, you're going to play at Auntie Kara's house!" Eddie made it sound so inviting the little girl didn't even think of refusing. The next few days would be hard on them both, she wanted to give the little girl a little normal.


	142. Chapter 142

Chapter One Hundred Forty Two

After breakfast, Kara loaded April into the car and headed out with the girl, leaving Eddie in Jamie's capable hands. "I know you'll feel better if we get some of the logistics settled so who have you notified and who needs to be called?"

Jamie and Eddie worked on a list together of what needed doing and who would do it. Eddie called to arrange for the casket, the flowers, the priest, while Jamie called the insurance company, cemetery and local papers to handle the coverage. Jamie's help cut Eddie's work in half. "It's in three days, anyone that would want to be there can make it here in two days," Eddie replied. "He doesn't have many associates beyond Chicago anyway."

Jamie nodded, "How are you doing?" He gently touched her knee and rubbed softly.

"I'm numb," Eddie replied. "I don't think I have ever heard my daughter cry out like that, I didn't know what to do with her or for her. She's still so young, how can she possible understand."

"You shouldn't know what to do, not really," Jamie comforted. 'You should just breath in, relax and mother April with your instincts like you always did. That's how you do this, Eddie, go with your heart, Eddie. Go with your heart."

Eddie moved so she was lying against Jamie's chest. Jamie's arms gently went over her and held her close. "Thanks for being here, Jamie. I don't' think…"

"You don't," Jamie finished for her. "You don't have to go through this without me, I'm here. Max is covered for the week, he'll be upset and throw a fit anyway if I take him home instead of letting him have fun at Dad's. I just spoke to Kara and April is comfortable and they boys are great with her. I can be here for you like I would have been in Montana." Jamie pushed a piece of hair behind Eddie's ear.

"I'm sorry about that," Eddie sighed. "You know, while all this was going on, part of my mind was saying Jamie's going to be so upset that I'm not…"

Jamie stopped Eddie cold with a soft kiss to her lips. He didn't take it past a soft intimate peck, just a slight touch of his lips to let her know he was there.

Eddie relaxed back against the sofa, "I love you, Jamie. I…"

"Let's not talk too much now, I love you too and I am so grateful to you for this, for being here. I…Jamie…"

"Ssh, lay your head on my lap, close your eyes and rest," Jamie crooned. "All the work is done, tomorrow you and April can make that album…and get ready to say goodbye. April and I said special prayers for Tom, he's getting his butt kicked by Pop at gin as we speak. His soul is in good hands, your heart is in my hands, where it's always been very safe and much loved. Close your eyes…"

Eddie shut her eyes and let Jamie stroke her hair and her back, he began to softly sing, "Won't you meet me in Montana….I want to see the Mountains in your eyes…"

Eddie fell asleep snuggled against Jamie, safe and secure in his arms.

Kara kept April with her until the day before the funeral. Eddie was surprised that she stayed so long, but she had done wonderfully playing with Kara, Luke, and the boys. On that day, Eddie was struggling very badly. She had a peaceful sleep in Jamie's arms, but a stress headache rocked her and made it difficult to see.

"I'll get her, Kara has to work but I'll drive out and get her," Jamie assured Eddie. 'Here…put this on your neck and I'll be back with April soon okay?"

Eddie smiled, "I don't know how I would have…"

Jamie gave Eddie another soft kiss, he would not go more than a peck on the lips, not until he felt Eddie was ready. "I'll pick up Wendy's or Arby's for dinner while you rest."

Eddie smiled and shut her eyes letting the ice pack work its magic.

"Daddy Jamie!" April was happy to see him. Jamie took her hand and held it inside his. "Come on, we'll go home and see your Mommy She's got headache."

April nodded like she was used to that, "Mommy get that. She do that at home when Max make big mess on the floor."

Jamie smiled, "Yes, that Max can be messy huh? So can you, Ms. April. Hop in the car I'll be right there."

Jamie looked up at Kara, "How was she?"

"She cried some but I think time with the boys really helped her. She loves to rough and tumble with them and Luke. That kid, she's not even three, but she can read the boys' books better than they can."

"That's my smart cookie," Jamie replied. "I wish Max showed her aptitude for reading, but he's so musically inclined it's hard to keep him focused on anything else."

"Still, he's adorable when he's singing and playing piano that more than makes up for him being a little distracted. How's Eddie?" Kara asked.

"She's holding up but she's got a horrible headache today so we didn't think it was wise she drove," Jamie replied. "She sends her thanks, it was easier to deal with all the work with April taken care of."

Kara smiled, 'You got it, anytime. That's what friends do."

Jamie started the car and turned back towards Long Island. "What did you do at Aunt Kara's house?"

"Played and I read my book," April replied. "It's book bout girl named Martha that has a Daddy fireman and he falls down and gets a big ouchie! He doesn't go to Heaven, he goes to the hospital and gets all better gain."

Jamie listened as April told him about all the books she read at Kara's house. She was not even three but could read so well. He was so proud of her for that. "I liked that book too," Jamie smiled referring to Corduroy. "You like to read April?"

April nodded and Jamie smiled diverting the car into Brooklyn Heights and parking near the Barnes and Noble. "You can pick three books okay?" Jamie told her happy to see her smiling.

What Jamie didn't realize was that it would take April two hours to pick out three books, she read six short ones while choosing. Jamie's phone went off, "April okay?"

"Yeah, we're getting books, be home soon," Jamie replied and shot a picture to Eddie of her little girl happy as a clam with books all around her. Eddie replied with a smile.

"She's so happy, Jamie," Eddie smiled when April went to put her new books away. "She is so happy. How did you know how to make her smile?

"She told me," Jamie replied. "She loves books, she read nearly everything in Kara's house, even some comic books so…"

"Daddy, will you read?" It was nearly April's bedtime, they had such a fun afternoon.

"Of course, I will, go get your jammies on first, I'll be right there."

"We're so lucky that she has you. You're a wonderful and natural father. It took Tom some time but they had a very special bond. It is going to be a void, I know how that feels and my father wasn't dead he was just…up the river."

"Use that then," Jamie replied. 'Use that memory and that will help you a lot. It will."

"Daddy Jamie, I ready. Where Max?" April called.

"I'll be right there," Jamie called. "Can we get her to drop the Jamie soon please?"

Eddie nodded, "I'll talk to her tomorrow, go on and read, I'm going to get my outfits laid out, and I have so many sensible suits from years of board meetings and fund luncheons…"

Jamie nodded and headed to April's room.

When April was asleep, Jamie went to find Eddie. The master bedroom was gigantic, and the closet could fit half of his apartment in it. Jamie listened and heard faint sobs coming from that closet. Gently, he pushed the door open. There sat Eddie amongst piles of clothing and shoes, sobbing into her knees. This was the first good cry Jamie had seen from her. "Hey, hey, Eddie, it's okay..." Jamie sat on the floor and moved Eddie to his lap. "It's okay I'm here…"

Jamie gently rocked back and forth keeping Eddie close to him. She sniffled and pulled back, "No it's not okay. I can't find it…it's the only pair that is comfortable and goes with everything…I can't find it…" Eddie cried hard. Jamie knew of course this upset wasn't over a missing…what was she missing?"

"Can't find what? Maybe I can help?" Jamie offered, keeping his voice calm and steady.

"My shoe, it's a black sling back with a patent leather toe," Eddie sniffled. "It's the mate to this, my right one is missing."

Jamie nodded and started by picking up some of the clothing that was on the floor. "The wake and funeral are only two days, you're going to wear all this?" Jamie only half joked.

"No, I just don't know what to pick out. Tom was good at that, he'd tell me the blue suit and beige blouse and it would always seem to work out."

"Well, if you want to show me…here…try this…" Jamie handed her a silk black dress with a little blue lapel. Very Eddie….

And so it began. Eddie tried on suits, dresses, pants outfits…Jamie nixed the pants suits quickly, he didn't think they flattered her.

Jamie watched Eddie slide a dress onto her body, wiggling so it laid right, then spin around slowly giving him every possible view. Jamie's eyes were glued to her, she was a magnificent sight.

"That one is a keeper, you look beautiful in that," Jamie told Eddie as she spun in a black dress with small pearl buttons. "Very elegant, you look beautiful."

Eddie smiled, "Funeral or wake."

"Wake, you'll have more contact with people at the wake. For the funeral…black suit with blue lapel, just a touch of color."

Jamie gave her a peck on the nose, "Was that a help?

Eddie nodded and wipe a few more tears off her cheeks, "But I still don't have that shoe. Where on earth could it be?"

It took over an hour to find Eddie's shoe. Finally, Jamie unearthed it in a shoe box. "Here it is Eddie, you must have taken the left shoe out to make room for all this…"

"That, is every card and letter you've ever sent me I'll have you know," Eddie replied. "I had a special place for them…I guess I forgot I took the shoe out. Sorry I'm such a wreck."

"Your husband passed, you have every right," Jamie replied. 'Take a breath, take your shoe, I better go, Tom's family is going to be coming around, it won't look right."

"Not yet," Eddie said quickly.' Can we look at those? Remember this one, the first one you wrote when I was on bedrest with April?"

"I wanted to be there that day so badly," Jamie replied.' I really kept thinking how can I be there, do I play the partner card…but Max was young and Claudia was…"

"Nuts," Eddie laughed. "I know and it would have been awkward. All in all I think we did a really good job of staying together quietly, and these helped. Look this was after that big fight we had…You poured your heart out in this and I actually almost left Tom. I was a few seconds from it and…"

"Let's not look back, just forward," Jamie whispered. "I love you Eddie, I wish we could look a bit into the future, I promise I'll help to put a smile back on your beautiful face again."

Eddie looked at another letter, "This was from when you got shot…the thank you note you sent…You know I was there ever minute someone else wasn't. Danny was running me in and out of the hospital room. We lost so much time."

"Not too much," Jamie whispered. "Love knows no real time. I made you a promise years ago when you asked me to that we will grow old together and I plan to make good on that promise, Eddie."

Eddie cuddled with Jamie looking over pictures from Montana, letters, and even a little tiny bear he sent one year. "So much of our lives are in this shoe box…along with my missing right shoe."

Eddie grew quiet again and laid still, not moving, barely breathing. If her eyes weren't open, Jamie would think she was asleep. "You okay?" he asked. "What's percolating in that head of yours?"

"I'm thinking how lucky I am to have you to hold me through this, and I'm thinking how alone Sue must be feeling now. I asked her several times to come over but…" Eddie shook her head. "Salt in the wounds I think."

"Perhaps," Jamie agreed. "I can't imagine. We've come close to losing each other, you and I, but this…I'm seeing how devastated you are and I'm thinking that our love is so different, so deep…"

"Sue's got to be in agony," Eddie sighed. "My heart just goes out to her. Let's remember her in our prayers, she'll need all the strength she can muster to get her through."

Jamie agreed, he held Eddie tighter until he felt her finally begin to relax.

Jamie kissed Eddie's head and stood up. "I have to go, you and April have a huge day tomorrow."

"Get snuggled and I'll be back once more, I'm going to check on April." Jamie stepped out while Eddie changed her clothes. April was sleeping peacefully in her bed, and Eddie was curled around her pillow when Jamie returned.

Jamie leaned down and kissed Eddie's head, "Good night…"

"Jamie, wait…Can you please stay with me? I know you have to get Max, he misses us but…please?"

Jamie nodded, "Sure, I'll stay until you sleep." Jamie sat by Eddie's bed and stroked her hair. "Tomorrow I'm going to be right there, okay? I'll stay out of the limelight but I'm going to be there in case you or April need me. Danny and Dad are going to help make sure, okay? You take a breath and you be strong, you dig deep and you get through the day, then you get through the night. I know you can do this, and if you trip…I'll catch you. I'll never be far, I promise."

Eddie smiled up at Jamie sleepily, "My own personal stalker…"

Jamie laughed and settled in until Eddie was sound asleep. He left alone but grateful these two beautiful girls were in his life.


	143. Chapter 143

Chapter One Hundred Forty Three

Jamie kept his promise to stay back at the wake. Danny was on water duty, Frank was on tissue detail…both men marched to Jamie's drum that day. Jamie stayed in the back of the parlor, his eyes never leaving Eddie and April. He didn't want his presence to bring any heat or ridicule down on Eddie.

Eddie looked the part of a society wife. The dress they chose hugged her body and the bun in her hair was like a golden halo. April clung to her mother's hand, she didn't like the crowds of people. "Mommy, want Daddy" Eddie was about to say no because there were so many people and she didn't want the child to get pushed or cornered, "I'll take her to Jamie," Frank smiled. "I'm so for your loss, Eddie."

Eddie smiled up at Frank, "Thank you, she's so much like him, so compassionate and gentle and of course, whip smart. If Max wants to play with her as long as she's here in the room, they can play quietly okay?"

Frank nodded and took April by the hand and delivered April to Jamie per her request. "Hi Daddy!"

Jamie smiled and picked her up, he loved to hear the Daddy without the Jamie after it. That's who he really was and now he felt he could finally embrace it.

Jamie held April on his lap for a bit, the child was tired and not thrilled by the crowd. She was a loner, just like his Max. They liked to play together, but that was about it. As Eddie shook hand after hand, the moment she knew was coming was finally upon her. Sue stood before her, dressed in navy blue suit and sensible shoes. "I'm so sorry, Eddie for your loss."

Eddie had offered Sue to be involved in the arrangements, but she had surprisingly declined. Eddie couldn't imagine her pain, and now she was standing here saying she was sorry for Eddie's loss.

Eddie smiled softly and reached out for Sue's arm, "And I'm so sorry for yours. I really truly am…" Eddie met the older woman's eyes, "Take your time with him and in a few days, come by the house I have something for you. Tom wanted you to be taken care of, I promised him."

"If you need help with work, I'll…" Sue began.

"Thank you so much," Eddie replied. "That's not what this is about. We'll handle the work part later. This is time for you to grieve, for us both to grieve a very good man we both loved. He loved you so much…" Sue wiped her eyes and moved on.

The wake ran very late, Jamie kept his promise to be near her and never left the room. April went off to play with Danny, Max stayed very close to his Dad. He wanted to get close to Eddie, but again, for the appearance, Jamie held him back. While Jamie was conversing with Frank, Eddie's mother's eye saw the boy tugging at his neck…

Eddie walked over, "Come here, my Max," Eddie cooed and picked him up for a cuddle. "I miss you, tonight we'll go home all together okay?"

Max nodded, "Okay. Sorry Mommom, that happened. April cried a lot."

"Yes," Eddie replied. "April's very sad. It's a sad thing when someone goes to Heaven for the people that are still here. They miss them very much. But April and Mommom are lucky, we have you and Daddy to help us smile." Eddie gave him a kiss. "Is your tie bothering you?" Eddie asked as she set the boy on his feet.

Max nodded and tugged again, "But Daddy and Gampa make me wear it."

"Well, sometimes Daddy is a little by the book," Eddie smiled. "So, what if I take it off for you, then you can tell your Daddy that Mommom said it was okay."

Max smiled. Eddie knelt down to his height and gently removed the tie. "Here, put it in your jacket pocket so you won't lose it." Eddie fixed Max's collar. "You look so handsome…"

Jamie saw Eddie taking care of Max as naturally as she did April. He never ceased to be amazed by how natural their bond was. Even with Eddie's love and guidance, Max still suffered the effects of not having a loving and nurturing mother as a newborn. He drank up Eddie's attention like a thirsty man in a desert…he needed that love…the one only a real mother could give. Jamie stood up quickly, "Excuse me, Dad…" Jamie almost ran from the room before he broke down in tears.

Jamie held his hand over his mouth trying to hold in the sobs. Danny was hot on his brother's heels, "Hey…Kid, what's wrong? What happened?"

Jamie looked up at his brother, "I just…saw Eddie with Max…She is hardly in a place to be maternal to anyone besides April, and she's in there fixing Max's shirt and making him feel loved and…That's the kind of mother Max deserves, that's the kind of mother he should have had."

Danny put his arm on Jamie's shoulder, "That's the kind of mother he does have. You and Eddie have been focusing on April the last couple of days but she's still his mom and he loves her. You are just feeling guilty because things are finally coming through the way you wanted, you have your chance with her. Don't screw it up…and blow your nose…"

Danny handed Jamie his handkerchief. "We talked about making our family for so long, but now, I have to give her space. She has to sort out her feelings without pressure from me. I'm going to be there for her and for April, I'm going to be her Daddy all the way for the first time, I held back even when I said I wouldn't out of respect. I do feel bad for being happy. I love her, and I'm going to make sure she knows it."

Danny smiled and hugged Jamie tight, "You do that Kid, tomorrow is going to be hard for her. And don't feel bad, okay. It's life, it happens. Keep your chin up."

Jamie smiled, "I will, and you'll be there to back me up?"

"You got it kid," Jamie replied. "Let's go back in, you made a promise."

Jamie nodded and walked back inside. Max ran to Jamie, "Daddy, Mommom said…" He showed Jamie his tie. "She say."

"Yes, it's okay, come on back in with me," Jamie directed and held Max's hand.

Jamie stayed until the last person had gone from the wake. Eddie was exhausted both in body and in mind. Both the children had fallen asleep on chairs put together. "You ready?" Jamie asked when the room was cleared out.

"Oh yes," Eddie replied. "Oh yes, I'm so incredibly tired…" Eddie took a moment to lean into him. "The kids are both out like lights, can you get her in the car for me? She's getting a little too heavy for me."

"Of course," Jamie replied and scooped April onto his right hip and Max onto his left. Eddie picked up her purse and discarded shoes. She kept the purse and some of the cards in her hands, Jamie grabbed the shoes as they nearly fell.

They walked out of the funeral home looking to the casual observer like a family. Eddie's bare feet tapped on the sidewalk as they headed to the car. "I though these were comfortable shoes," Jamie joked.

"They are," Eddie replied. "You don't get heels, for heels four hours without sitting down or cursing out loud is comfortable."

"Ah, I see," Jamie replied juggling the kids so they didn't wake up or fall out of his grasp. Eddie opened the door and Jamie gently passed April to her. Eddie put her in her booster seat and secured the belt. The girl didn't even move.

Jamie put Max in his car. They agreed that he would stay at the house with Eddie and both children that night. Max missed Eddie and she needed to have both children nearby to get through. They would depart for the funeral separately before resuming their lives as normally as possible.

Frank kept a firm hand on both kids at the funeral, after their last experience with roaming a cemetery. Anita and her family made a lovely spread for Eddie to receive her guests. Tom's sister approached her as she was in the receiving line. "As soon as possible we need to discuss the division of the estate."

Eddie only nodded, "Yes we do..." She looked around at the guests and the two kids playing together with Jamie and Frank watching from nearby

"I know my brother would leave you an allowance but this is family money..."

"I am technically still married to your brother and actually now is not a good time for this please excuse me," Eddie said.

Jamie saw Eddie step away with a stern look on her face. He excused himself to speak to her, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah Tom's sister just came over to talk about the estate but he just passed you know that's not what we're thinking about " Eddie shook her head.

"Not you," Jamie replied. "I'm sorry honey. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was thinking about a legal situation as well."

"How so?" Eddie asked, curious what possible legal situation could be.

Jamie gave her a kiss, "Not to worry about that now. Did you eat? I didn't see you with a plate."

Eddie shook her head slowly, "Not really hungry right now I will though. How are the kids?"

"Max is keeping April busy but she's looking for Tom. I think being here is confusing her."

Eddie sighed, "Poor baby she's so little and doesn't understand what's happened."

"She knows he's in Heaven but she doesn't seem to grasp she can't see him," Jamie sighed. "I think she can use a mommy cuddle."

"Yeah I think so and so could I," Eddie swept her hand over his going to where April and max played on the floor kneeling down. "Hey baby."

"Mommy..."April went to Eddie. "Daddy Tom book?"

Tears stung Eddie's eyes picking April up to give her a tight hug. "Come here baby girl daddy Tom went to heaven April do you want daddy Jamie to read to you?"

"Heaven come home?" She asked but Eddie shook her head. "No baby. Heaven is special you can't come home"

Max rubbed his eyes pushing up to his feet and going to Eddie trying to squirm past April vying for attention. "Mommom Maxy."

Eddie held both kids, they had been so good but were tired. She took both kids with her to go for a nap. She brought them up staying with them lost in her own thoughts as the kids slept soundly, sighing quietly.

Eddie went downstairs once the children are asleep and assume her duties. It seemed to take forever for the house to clear out. Jamie approached her slowly as the last few guests left. "You need to rest Eddie, you're exhausted."

Yes but there's still so much to do there's just so much left to do. I promised him I'd make sure Sue is taken care of and Anita, and then there is his sister." Eddie rolled her eyes

"Let me help you then I'm worried you need to take care of yourself too Eddie" Jamie whispered stepping in front of her.

Eddie melted into his arms.

"Tell me what I can do," Jamie whispered. "Tell me what you need from me."

"Heat the leftovers, and I'll set up the living room and get the wine," Eddie replied. She got out candles, dimmed the lights, and set a lovely table while Jamie heated up the dinner and put it on the plates. Jamie sat down after helping Eddie with her chair. "A toast…to life together, to our daughter and our son, and to you Eddie. I love you."

Eddie smiled and touched her glass to Jamie's. "Here, here."

"I'm so relieved you weren't angry with me for not realizing, Jamie. If I knew, if I gave myself the chance to know so many things would be different now."

"I would have left Claudia," Jamie said quickly. "But I was raised in a house where everything happens for a reason, things happen in their own time."

"I….The course of so many lives were changed,' Eddie sighed. "Because of this one oversight on my part that…"

"Yes, they were but, Eddie," Jamie took Eddie's hands and cradled them in his own. "It's okay. We are together now, we're a family now, and we can finally take steps to be together. Nothing will be in the way now…You, me, Max, and April, a fabulous foursome…Stop being upset about what you had no control over."

Eddie ate half her chicken then pushed the plate away. Jamie stood up and walked around the table, "Come here…Come in my arms, come here…"

Eddie obeyed and laid her cheek on Jamie's shirt, "I'm holding my soulmate, the love of my life in my arms. As fate would have it we found one another and we can plan our life together while our precious children sleep in the other room. We are truly blessed."

Eddie smiled as the song on the CD player changed to What a Wonderful World "How about a dance?" Jamie asked. "This is our song."

"Yes it is?" Eddie asked as they began to sway in the candlelight, meal forgotten for the moment.

"Yeah," Jamie replied as he kissed her lips deeply. "We do…Any world with you in it is wonderful."

In perfect unison, Jamie and Eddie, finished their chicken, and cleaned up the kitchen. It was as if they had been moving as one unit for the last ten years, not only meeting a few times, mostly by chance instead of design. They settled down in each other's arms with the candles dancing around them.

Jamie played with Eddie's hair, and Eddie laid her head on his chest. "I know that you might not feel comfortable, but…" Eddie needed their connection.

Jamie looked down, "I miss you too…and there are three guest rooms." Jamie stood and stooped to pick Eddie up into his arms.

Jamie leaned over to blow the candles out then carried Eddie carefully up the stairs to the guest room at the very end of the hall. The entire time they walked, Jamie and Eddie kissed Eddie's lips alternating between deep kisses meant to explore soft ones meant to excite.

Jamie set Eddie on her feet and stood back, holding her hands. They circled one another, hands clasped, before coming together again to kiss. Eddie's hands found Jamie's shoulders, then slid down his chest to pull his polo shirt from his jeans. Jamie cupped Eddie's bottom through the skirt she wore, the moved up to pull off her silk blouse.

Clothing melted away, undergarments were forgotten as they were tossed around the floor…Jamie held Eddie close to him, skin to skin…before lying down with her on the bed.

Jamie made sure Eddie got all of his attention, his lips and hands burned her flesh from her delicate forehead to her small feet. Eddie moaned in pleasure at the attention, she felt like she was floating…until Jamie moved back up her body and met her eyes.

"I love you," Jamie whispered. "We made a beautiful child from this love we share, and I want us, when time's passed to make a beautiful life."

Eddie reached up for Jamie's cheek and met his eyes, "Yes, I want that too…a beautiful life…"

Eddie's words died on the air as Jamie moved into her joining them together body and soul. There was something different tonight, when they connected, something as old as time and as new as the risen sun… they both prayed their lives would be filled with love, trust, and truth between them.


	144. Chapter 144

Chapter One Hundred Forty Four

A week passed since Tom's burial, Jamie kept a close eye on Eddie. He did all he could to help out so she could grieve properly. He tried to give her space during the day to do what she needed to do with the lawyers and the business advisors. At night he was at her side beginning to forge the family they had waited so long for.

She had just gotten off the phone when Jamie walked into the living room. "Dinner is ready, Eddie. Come and eat honey, the kids are waiting."

She stood up and stretched her sore back. All of her education was being utilized in the last few days. Smiling, Jamie met her halfway wrapping his arms around her waist, "How you doing Eddie?"

"I'll be better when I get all of this legal stuff out of the way. I know you're anxious to start the process of changing April's birth certificate but I just can't do that right now."

"I understand I'm just worried about you with all this," Jamie hugged her tight.

"Don't, I can handle it and you are helping me by taking time with April."

Jamie sighed, "If you say so. Come eat Eddie." He cupped her hands leading into the kitchen where both kids waited.

They shared the meal Anita prepared, they were at Tom's house still, easier for Eddie. She wanted to give it to Sue. Jamie kept watching Eddie eating quietly he worried she was holding back. The kids ate too April looking around as if she was watching something no one else saw.

"What is it April?" Jamie asked his little daughter. "You okay?"

April wiped her hands turning around in her seat then looked back again pointing at the empty chair. "Done." April looked back reaching for a napkin to wipe her hands. "All done? Done? No bye bye. "

Jamie and Eddie both looked confused at her antics. She was carrying on a conversation with an imaginary person. "April friend," Max told them. "Not play with me."

"My friend, no Maxy... later pay with Maxy," April reached her hands up in the air.

"You two play nicely together," Eddie told them. "Go on."

Jamie and Eddie helped the babies down. April toddled off with Max toddling behind her wanting to play with her. "April..."

April sighed and gave him another toy. She didn't want to be bothered, "Here play wif cat." She gave Max her stuffed cat and sat down on the floor.

"No cat! Play wif April..." Max tossed the cat back moving closer to play with the toys April had.

April began to cry and hid her face in her dress. She had been feeling all these emotions and couldn't handle them. Max felt them as well but where April was cerebral and struggled Max was emotional and emitted.

"April, don't cry," Jamie came in quickly scooping April up hugging her. "Don't cry, tell daddy what's wrong?"

"Not play Max, play friend...Max throw cat!" April wailed all the emotions catching up to her.

Jamie could see the issue, to cope with the strain, April created an imaginary friend and was excluding Max from their games. In turn, she had given him the toy cat, her favorite, Marie that he threw in his own expression of anger. Max stood up and took off for Eddie at full wail.

April's little arms wrapped tightly around Jamie tears running down her face confusion and stress from the past week finally coming out of her. Max patted his bare feet on the floor crying, "Mommom!"

Eddie caught him and picked him up, both their kids were very stressed and upset. Max handled it better, he would kick and yell out his strain then move on, April bottled it up, just like her father did.

"April no nice! She no love Max no more," Max sobbed burying his head against her shoulder wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Oh, that's not true," Eddie soothed. "That's not true...Come on and play with your trucks. Mommom will play trucks with you."

Giving a small sob, Max held onto Eddie letting her carry him into the other room. Jamie caught Eddie's eye rocking April slowly.

Both children were struggling with the changes and all of the adult feelings swirling around them. Jamie got April to talk about her new friend. "Why can't Max play too?" Jamie asked. "Max is crying, he loves to play with you."

April wiped her eyes with the back of her hand wiping tears away having no real reason why she didn't want to play but things were changing and she didn't like it.

"Maybe later you can ask your new friend to play with Max too," Jamie reasoned. "But now it's bath time so no more playing, bath and books."

April lay her head against his chest putting a thumb in her mouth self-soothing. She was tired and needed cuddling with everything going on recently.

The family divided. Max with Eddie playing with his truck and April with Jamie getting a bath and a book on his lap. Jamie didn't like it they should be together, but April and Max were little and didn't really understand. He bathed their daughter getting her changed.

They did separate bedtimes that night. When they were done they silently came together and stood in each other's arms.

"The kids feel it even if they don't understand it. I don't know what to do Eddie," Jamie sighed holding her tightly.

"I know they do," Eddie sighed. "I'm so tired and I'm so worried about them both. There is just so much..." Jamie held her closer. "Okay, enough of this now, go get in that pretty white silk robe of yours, I'll run a hot bath, and I'll even wash your hair for you. Come on, time to destress."

Tired but grateful, Eddie agreed heading to change into the white robe while Jamie started running water for a bath, fishing out vanilla bath suds soothing to help Eddie relax.

Jamie knelt beside her, dipping the rag into the warm water. He rang it out over her head to dampen her hair, then worked the shampoo into a warm lather. The scent of vanilla was soothing and relaxing, Eddie closed her eyes feeling Jamie massaging her blond hair. "That feels really good Jamie."

"I'm glad, you need to focus on you and on the family. I know there's so much to do, but close your eyes and take a deep breath," Eddie felt Jamie slide into the water behind her and turned her in his arms, so her chest was pressed against his.

Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist kissing the top of her head. "Relax Eddie, just lay here and don't think of anything else but our family." He lifted one hand running it through her hair then over her back.

They stayed in the water until it went cold. Jamie lifted Eddie into his arms and carried her to the bed they made for themselves in the largest guest room. They held each other's gaze, Eddie reached up for Jamie as he moved down to cover her body with his.

Her eyes twinkled, arms raised welcoming him letting their lips meet her hands moving slowly down his muscled back. "Thank you, Jamie."

Jamie's answer was a deep kiss, his tongue probed only slightly before Eddie's matched it and the two began to gently duel. They held each other as they kissed, not rushing things, gently exploring. Their bodies were so familiar to each other now, but there were still surprises, new things to feel and to see.

His hands weighed her breasts, suckling the nipples on each one, exciting them to rosebud peaks. She moaned his name; she felt so alive in his arms, the weight of the world was on her shoulders lately and in his arms, it melted away. She buried her head in the soft downy hair on his chest, inhaling the scent of him. He was comforting, strong, safe and the love of her life.

Her hands cupped him, massaged him and caressed him. She felt his response, he wanted her and she wanted him. They didn't need to speak, it was so natural now, their coupling. He took care to join their bodies while still joining their mouths.

Their hips moved in unison, a perfect rhythm, danced expertly by two equal partners in life and in love.

She cried out his name and he whispered hers as they reached their climax simultaneously. When it was done, he collapsed onto her chest and waited until their heart rates slowed down before rolling her around to settle against him.

Eddie laid on Jamie's chest as he absently stroked her arm. So many things had been decided like this over the years. Eddie ran her hand on Jamie's chest, "I've been thinking that I might take her to see someone to help with Tom's death. **I don't like seeing Max so hurt and April so confused."**

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair, "Max has a temper, that's for sure. **And April, she's like me, she bottles things up. I know she made up this new friend to vent some of the emotion and it's making Max angry. I think we can handle it though, let's hold off on the counselor just for a little while."**

"Yeah, I think that's the right idea," Eddie smiled. "I think we did a good job just now, we make great parenting decisions."

Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie's head, she was just too adorable for words. The talk turned to other things eventually Eddie fell asleep in Jamie's arms. When the sun came up, Eddie looked at Jamie, sound asleep and lightly snoring.

Eddie was up first and made three phone calls to the attorneys before meeting Anita in the kitchen. "Mini omelets today," she told Eddie. "Max still not eating ham?"

"No, he likes his cheese," Eddie smiled. "Anita, later today, I'd like to have some private time with you, let me know what time it is good for us to speak."

Anita nodded and sighed. She knew Eddie was going to sell this grand house and not have need for her anymore. She would miss the family, but she was over sixty-five and it was time. "As soon as the dishes are done."

Eddie nodded and poured the juices and the coffee. She got April out of her bed and then got Max. April went to give Max a kiss but he turned his face. "No…mad you April." He told her flatly and moved to the kitchen by himself. "I do it," he told Eddie and climbed into his seat on his own.

Jamie came down in his old terry cloth robe, they were a robe family, even Max had a little one. "Morning," Jamie greeted and kissed Eddie and each of the kids. It was pretty clear Max got up on the wrong side of the bed.

"Look, Max," Jamie pointed to his plate. "Anita made you and April omelets."

"My omelet," Max replied. "Mine…not April."

Eddie sighed, they had a problem. She let it go, Jamie was right, they were little and they needed to work through things themselves. April took a bite of toast, "Max, read me?"

"No," Max said still grouchy and went back to his plate.

Jamie made it his job to fix that, while Eddie has more estate business to attend to. Just after breakfast, she sat with Anita. "It breaks my heart to say this," Eddie began. "But, after the estate is settled, I plan to give this house to Sue. It's too big for my life with Jamie, and this is where her memories are with Tom. Sue will have a need perhaps, but if she does not, I don't want you to worry. It's my plan, if you agree, to take some of the estate and purchase you a house in the city of your choice. Also, a **generous** retirement, more than enough that if you live until your 100 you won't have to worry about money. You took such good care of us…"

Anita's eyes filled with tears. "Mrs. Eddie, I…I'm not worried about money, though that is so nice, but…I'll miss you and the children."

"We'll miss you too," Eddie replied. "We will miss you too. Think about it, if you want to stay in New York…that's just fine and you can help with the children some…you do what's right for you and no more Mrs. Eddie. I'm just plain Eddie…" She stood and opened her arms to Anita.

The two women embraced and Eddie smiled. "Let me know what you decide…I love you, Anita. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," Anita replied. "And those babies. I will think about it. Thank you."

Anita left the room to see about her duties while Eddie went to get ready for her time with Sue. She wasn't sure how she'd get through it, but somehow she knew she would.

Jamie took the kids to the park to play. It was a pretty spring day. Max ran to the swing and April walked with Jamie daintily. "Max..." Today she wanted to play with her brother, but he was still hurt.

Stopping by the swings Max reached two little arms up ignoring her. "Up daddy Pease swing max." He giggled being lifted into the swing looking at April waiting. "No!"

"Max, that's not nice, Buddy," Jamie told him. "April can swing too." Jaime put April in the swing beside him and started to push the kids.

He turned his head away from her kicking both legs. "No no.." He shook his head looking at his father.

Jamie could see forced joint play was not going to work so he took the kids off the swing. He tried another ride, but Max did not want to engage his little sister at all. She had hurt his very delicate feelings.

They went up the steps on top of the toddler climbing structure Max went first plopping down in front of the slide refusing to move.

"Max, you like to play on this, talk to Daddy?" Jamie told him as April went off to climb.

"April no slide! Max slide!" He folded his arms stubbornly blocking the top of the slide refusing to move.

"Max, you are going to go in a time out!" Jamie warned. "Play nicely! Let April go down and you can go down too." While Jamie was reasoning with Max, April slid down between Max's legs.

Instead of moving, Max kicked his legs and spread out his arms, "No! Max slide! April no play." He yelled arms waving angrily.

Finally, Jamie got it, "Come here you two." Jamie took them both, "April, you need to tell Max you are sorry. Can you give him a big hug and say sorry?"

"Sorry Maxy." April said though not sure why she was saying sorry to her brother after the situation passed giving him a hug.

"Play me?" he asked. "I friend...Love you..." Max hugged back. April turned to her imaginary buddy, "Max play too...kay? He my brother..." Jamie's heart melted. "Yes, April, yes he is."

The toddlers were off to play on the seesaw...Jamie took a picture of them working as a team to make it go for Eddie, one less worry for her.

A little boy of two walked over as April was on the ground squealing with laughter. "My saw," he pointed pushing April off with two hands sending her sprawling to the ground.

Max had just slid off his seat, Jamie was holding his side down. He saw April go on her bottom and begin to cry. He took off for the other boy and pushed him. Jamie was surprised that was Max's first reaction. "No no... mean!" he scolded. "Bad hit!" Then he pushed him again.

The boy was surprised crunching up his face starting to cry. "Max, it's okay. Come here buddy, let's see if April is okay. I think she could use her big brother."

The mother of the other boy came over, "How dare you allow him to push my Wally!" Jamie sighed. "With respect, Ma'am, your Wally pushed my daughter first. I will speak to my son, you definitely need to speak to yours!"

He picked Max up bringing him to April still on the ground crying holding her hand. "Dada," she sobbed reaching a hand out wanting to be comforted, Jamie obliged but so did Max.

"Love you, April," Max told her holding her tight. He gave her a big kiss and got a smile...Jamie sighed with relief.


	145. Chapter 145

Chapter One Hundred Forty Five

While Jamie was knee deep in park conflict and hot dogs, Eddie received Sue into the sitting room for the first time since the repast. "How are you, Sue?" She knew the answer, if Jamie had died she wouldn't be able to stand up again.

Sue gave a small shrug, "I don't know still doesn't seem real."

"I know," Eddie replied. "For April either, she is struggling with this and to comprehend it. Please sit, Anita has tea prepared."

Sue sat across from her giving a weak smile hands folded tightly. "I'm sure and she is so little too."

"Jamie has her at the park with Max. I wanted to talk to you about a few items not mentioned in Tom's will, mainly this house..."

Sue took a small sip nodding at Eddie. "Okay sure. That's good. Jamie is keeping them busy."

"This house...is where Tom brought me as a bride, where I brought April home from the hospital...but even with those memories...this is where you shared your love with him, where you talked and dreamed..." Eddie swallowed tears. "You should be here. You should have this house."

"Are you sure, Eddie? The house is big we can both… I won't take that away from you. Tom was married to you."

"Not in his heart," Eddie replied. "His heart was always yours."

Sue's eyes were red, "Thank you Eddie. Will you come back and bring the kids to visit?"

"Of course," Eddie replied. "Of course. There is one more thing..." Eddie reached into her pocket. "These should be on your finger not mine. This is what Tom really wanted, to be your husband. I want you to wear his rings."

Sue looked down at the ring, eyes tearing up "This house has a lot of memories with him. Thank you so much Eddie, for everything."

"I know you will take good care of it." Eddie stepped around the desk and held her tight. "I can't imagine Sue, I can't imagine. Let it out, let it out..."

Sue held onto Eddie hugging her tightly. "I know...I know..." Eddie sighed. "It's okay, it's all okay." The two women sat and looked at pictures of Tom. Sue had five memories to Eddie's one. They shared a life together. When Jamie got home with two sleepy kids, he found that Eddie was finally feeling the loss.

Jamie sent the kids with Anita to their beds, "Eddie...hey...come on what's wrong?"

Eddie walked into Jamie's arms laying her head against his chest. "Think it's starting to hit now with everything getting done."

"Okay, it's okay..." Jamie rubbed her back lightly. "It's okay, honey. Sue take it hard?"

Eddie followed Jamie sitting on his lap head resting against his shoulder. 'I didn't think.. Not like that."

"Not like what honey?" Jamie cooed. "Not like what, talk to me."

"Sue and the house just everything Jamie," Eddie managed sighing

Jamie nodded and rocked slowly. "It's all right I understand. You know what you need?"

"What's that," Eddie asked looking up at him tears wet.

"A night out. Let's call up Kara and Luke see what they have going on tonight or tomorrow. In the meantime, here, they made up and Max...Max got in his first playground beat down."

Eddie widened her eyes curiously, "What? What happened?" She sat up arm around him wanting to know what she missed

"I got April to say sorry to Max then they played on the seesaw. Just as they were done another kid came over and shoved April on her butt. Max took off after him like nothing I have ever seen. I had a talk with him about that but I'm not sure it stuck." Jamie replied. "I don't like that he hit."

"He defended his little sister. He shouldn't have hit the other kid but he came to April's defense that's really cute," Eddie sniffed.

"It's cute but... I had a talk with him and he said he won't hit again so..." Jamie sighed. "He's stubborn though and has a temper."

Eddie sighed, she saw that in Max wishing he had more patience. "It's good you talked to him we have to keep doing that so he understands

"He's got violence in him from both sides," Jamie sighed. "But we can teach him."

"And we will," Eddie gave Jamie a tight hug. "We'll teach him right."

Eddie called Kara to ask her about a night out. She happily agreed, checking with Luke and setting plans for the next night. Hanging up the call Eddie settled against Jamie cuddling with him. "She said no problem."

"Good," Jamie kissed Eddie's hair. "Are you hungry? I could eat."

"You know I could always eat," Eddie smiled up at him.

Jamie took her to the kitchen and made sandwiches. They sat and discussed other things besides the estate and the kids. Soon, Eddie looked much better, that made Jamie smile.

The next day April's friend was back in full force. Anita was going to mind them that night and Jamie and Eddie would stay at the apartment.

Jamie got ready and dressed in a crisp button down shirt, collar folded down neatly, and black pants. He took Eddie to her favorite restaurant holding doors open for her.

Kara and Luke were already there in the very back booth, holding each other and sneaking kisses. Jamie and Eddie smiled. "Hey!" Kara greeted and got up to hug her friend.

Jamie shook hands with Luke turning to smile at Kara while Luke and Eddie hugged. The four friends sat down again exchanging smiles. "How are you doing Eddie?" Kara asked.

"Okay, just a lot to do," Eddie replied. "But you said you had news when we were talking, I'd rather hear about that."

Kara looked at Luke with a smile turning back to Eddie and Jamie, "Luke and I got engaged we're going to get married."

Eddie squealed happily, When did this happen, why didn't you tell me?"

"It just happened actually," Kara smiled happily. "I wanted to tell you in person." Eddie hugged her, while Jamie shook Luke's hand.

"Congratulations, you are getting a very special lady," Jamie told him. "First round is on us." Eddie shook her head, "Nope whole night. We are celebrating!"

Luke smiled, "Yes, she sure is special and I'm very lucky to have her." He stole a kiss looking back as Jamie signaled the waitress for drinks.

"So tell me everything," Eddie encouraged while the men played darts. "When is it?"

"We're not sure, we're still working out the details, but I would like you there and Jamie..." Kara dipped her beer.

"Of course!" Eddie smiled. "Of course!"

Kara looked over at Luke smiling, "I'm really excited Eddie he's so sweet."

"He is, he's been through so much, and you both deserve happiness."

Kara leaned over for another hug. "Thanks Eddie, I really owe it all to you. You've been such a great friend."

"What do you say we go and beat the boys at darts?" Eddie asked. "Jamie is just not gifted at that game."

Kara was laughing as she finished her beer. Eddie to the back where dart boards hung. "We challenge you to a game."

They polished off the pitcher quickly and it messed a bit with Kara's equilibrium. Still she took her turn at darts nearly getting the middle bullseye smiling as she stood by Eddie while Jamie went.

This time the beer was on Jamie's side. He hit the bullseye dead on. "Finally, Reagan only took you how many years," Eddie teased stopping for a kiss before taking her turn.

He turned and picked her up spinning her around. Luke laughed, "Guess you know what this means. We have to make them breakfast tomorrow."

Kara watched Jamie and Eddie kiss softly. "Of course a nice breakfast."

Luke slid his arm around Kara, "We better get going. This was a lot of fun." He reached for his wallet but Eddie waved him off. "We got it, an engagement gift."

"Thank you guys really we will do this again really soon," the friends exchanged hugs saying goodbye.

Eddie was quiet on the way back to the apartment. She was all right at the bar but now she was tired and little broodish. "You missing the kids?" Jamie asked trying to open the conversation. "Or you still upset about Sue?"

"No, I'm fine," Eddie replied and Jamie's blood ran cold.

"Uh oh," Jamie smiled slightly as they walked into the homey apartment. "Fine is not a very good answer."

"Only if I'm angry with you," Eddie replied. "And I'm not, I'm just tired. I think I'm going to head into bed right away if that's okay with you."

"It's fine with me," Jamie smiled. "I think I'll join you, might be nice to sleep in our bed and not have the babies toddling in and out. April is cute but not when she comes in at three am with her diaper in her hand."

"I wish I could get her out of that nighttime diaper but she just can't seem to feel it when she wakes up."

"She's still very little, it'll be fine. I'm glad Max is only in the diaper at night," Jamie laughed. He changed into his boxers while Eddie slipped into an old tee shirt of Jamie's and laid down in bed. She was happy for her friend, very happy, but it hurt a bit that Kara was just newly introduced to Luke and already engaged and she and Jamie had bene through so much and weren't even talking about it. She had hoped and thought that Jamie would at least broach the subject but he hadn't, he held back.

Eddie turned on her side and switched out the light. Jamie moved and pulled Eddie closer to him, kissing along her neck and jaw. Eddie wasn't responding, she was holding herself very stiff. It was pretty clear she wasn't into the idea of making love tonight, but Jamie had other ideas. "Talk to me, Eddie," Jamie whispered. "We have the night alone, just the two of us." He punctuated his words with kissed. "And you are being so sad and quiet. I want to help you…"

'Do you?" Eddie asked. "Do you really? If you do, then you'd know why I was quiet and upset. Luke and Kara, they are so happy. Luke's heart was ripped out of his chest, TWICE and he's not afraid to tell Kara what she means to him."

"I tell you and show you all the time what you mean to me, Eddie," Jamie replied. "I really do. So I don't understand…"

"You gave me this…" Eddie showed him the promise ring she wore. "You promised me to be a family. Tom's gone now nearly two weeks. For a normal relationship, that's not much time, but since we were going to divorce anyway…and I was waiting at his request for this to happen…I sound terrible…" **She felt terrible. Kara was her best friend, next to Jamie, and she was overjoyed she found happiness after being unhappily married. Eddie wanted that too. It had been three years since she and Jamie began this endeavor, and three years was a long time to wait. She was beginning to lose hope, Jamie had promised, but she still was starting to lose her hope.**

"No," Jamie sighed rocking a little bit. "No you don't. I know you want to get our family started and together. There's a few things a guy has to do first. It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I won't, but I do want to make everything perfect for you, honey. I do. Give me a little more time to get my ducks in a row…and when you least expect it…"

"I don't need…" Eddie began.

"I know," Jamie replied. "It's a matter of want…we did wait a long time and we deserve it to be very special. I love you so much…"

He tipped his head and kissed her on the lips, beginning gently. When he felt that she was more receptive to his attentions, he deepened the kiss in intensity.

Her hands came up to frame his face. She felt funny being upset that he hadn't proposed yet, perhaps it was all the emotion, she still found herself choking up and crying at odd times, it wasn't grief in the traditional sense, but she still felt far more than she intended. That was grief.

Jamie's hand cupped Eddie's cheek and ran his thumb along the crest of her delicate face. It hurt his heart that Eddie felt he wasn't committing, that he wasn't keeping his promise. He would try his best to show her now that none of her worries had foundation. If he said that, he'd be on the couch back in Manhasset.

He ran his hand up her body, pushing the tee shirt off to expose her bare body. He felt her hands working on his boxer shorts, her mind now focused on their physical connection rather than the lack of a legal one.

Her hands massaged the delicate skin between his legs, feeling it tighten and elongate in her hands. He paid her the same delicate attentions. His mouth working magic on her milky white skin. His tongue teased one rosebud nipple to erection then the other while his own pulsated between his legs, aching for relief in the soft, welcoming recesses of her body. Still, he knew he had to take his time, worship her, make her feel as beautiful and loved as she was.

He lifted her up so that her skin was flush against his. He took his time with her, caressing her lips with his own, exploring her mouth, breathing her name as she sighed and moaned with pleasure.

She was aching for him, his fingers slid in and out of her, she was ready for him. "You're mine," he murmured against her ear. "All mine, forever…"

He slid into her moist, velvet center with one thrust. Her hips arched and met him, she moaned his name in sheer delight. "Oh, Jamie…oh…" Eddie gasped. "Oh, yes…yes!" Her body clamped down around his long, engorged shaft, he felt his own orgasm build and then release in a sharp blast. It was exhausting and invigorating all at once… She always gave him everything he needed without hesitation. He knew now he needed to do the same for her. He needed to move quickly, to make their dream a reality.


	146. Chapter 146

Chapter One Hundred Forty Six

While Eddie slept, Jamie slid out of bed and paced the living room. He was saving for a ring, a three-carat diamond solitaire, in a platinum setting. He couldn't imagine after what she had been wearing from Tom that he could get smaller than three carats, he just wanted her to be happy. It cost a lot more money than the requisite two months' salary, but he was doing his best to get it for her. He'd been making payments since before Tom's death, but he still hadn't paid off the required 50% to take possession of it. Now, with Eddie feeling so sad, he needed help. If he asked Frank, he'd insist on Mary's ring, but that wasn't large enough or bold enough to come close to measuring up to the ring she just gave to Sue. That left his big brother. He'd visit him about that tomorrow.

He thought back to the conversation with the diamond district jeweler. He went in just to get ideas, but soon found himself swept up in the moment.

" **Looking for a ring for that special girl?"**

" **Yes, yes, just looking. I'm trying to find something as beautiful as she is, that shows her how much I love her," Jamie replied. "Her last husband was affluent and her ring was at least 5 carats. I can't go that big but…"**

" **But you don't want to look cheap," the jeweler replied. "Come over this way, we have some modest stones here…perfect cut, perfect clarity…"**

 **The jeweler showed Jamie at least thirty stones, each as magnificent as the next. "How much is this one?" Jamie held up a princess cut.**

 **The discussed the finances, then Jamie selected the setting. Platinum was, of course, more money than regular gold but that was his and Eddie's preference. "How much do I have to put down?"**

 **The jeweler crunched his numbers then looked at Jamie, "With your credit I'll need almost 50% down to allow you to take this ring. No interest of course as you're a member of law enforcement."**

 **Jamie sighed, it would be months before he could afford it, but that's what Eddie deserved. "Okay, where do I sign?"**

He had to find a way to get that ring sooner than June. With Eddie feeling so defeated and doubtful now, he had to fix it, he just had to.

Jamie slid back into bed, Eddie had just woken up and was touching his side of their bed. "Jamie?"

"Hey, I'm right here. What's wrong, Eddie? Are you okay?" Jamie moved closer and hugged her.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Eddie replied and cuddled up closer to him. ""I hate waking up alone. I'm sorry I was carrying on...I guess I'm not holding up as well as I thought. I do miss the kids and I miss being here. Let's move back in this weekend huh? Let Sue get settled?"

Jamie kissed her head, "If that's what you want Eddie. I don't want to stop you from grieving or rush you. Take your time."

Eddie sighed. "Jamie, I just feel like..." She didn't know how to say it. "Just hold me, hold me the tightest you ever have."

Jamie wrapped his arms tightly around her body, keeping her close. "I'm right here honey, and I'm not going anywhere."

Jamie made Eddie waffles with Nutella the next morning. She seemed to be in better spirits than yesterday, she was smiling, and discussing bringing the kids home on Friday. She had to go to the bank to sign some of the estate papers and the will reading was later that day. Jamie kept himself on standby for those events, but so far, Eddie was doing all right by herself, knowing that Jamie was with their children was a huge relief for her. After, she thought, she'd try to have coffee with Kara and discuss what was on her heart.

Jamie took advantage of the children being with Anita and went to Staten Island to see Danny and Linda. "Hey, Kid, come on in," Danny smiled. "This is a nice surprise. Coffee?"

Jamie moved inside and smiled, "Sure. Don't worry, everything is fine, I'm here to talk to you and Linda about something."

Linda came in from the back after hearing Danny talking to someone. "Hey Jamie, this is a nice surprise how are you? Are Eddie and the kids okay?"

"Yeah, the kids are okay," Jamie replied. "I'm a little worried about Eddie. She's still grieving, but she's been very down as well and..." Jamie sighed. "I'm hoping if I move up my plans to propose that might help."

Linda smiled brightly inviting him to sit in the living room so they could talk. "That's great Jamie you and Eddie are great together. What can we do?" Danny looped an arm around his wife smiling to the younger man.

"The ring is expensive, I had to go higher end for obvious reasons and unless I pay them $15,000 up front, I can't take the ring. I was going to have it for her birthday, but now I need it sooner and I'm a little short." Jamie took a breath. "I'll pay you back, I'll make the same payments to you I was making to them."

Danny shook his head this was his little brother and he would do anything for Jamie. "We know you would kid and that's really sweet," he turned to Linda for approval.

"Jamie, Eddie just wants to be with you," Linda sighed. "You don't have to go overboard, but if that's what you want to do, we can help as much as possible. How much help are you in need of?"

"I need another $5,000 for the ring. She's used to extravagant things and Eddie deserves them too. Thanks I really appreciate it," Jamie said.

Linda sighed but said nothing, Jamie knew Eddie best. "We'll help," Danny replied. "But why the rush, you waited so long, why push it?"

Jamie sighed, "Because I know she needs this from me, she needs to feel like we're going to realize our dreams. Part of it is losing Tom, he was a dear friend to her...but it seems like she's losing something else too and I'm worried." Jamie bit his lip. "I'm worried it's her faith in me."

"No, kid. I know Eddie, we know that she trusts you more than anything in the world. You're her best friend."

Linda rubbed his arm, "Danny's right, if you think this is what she needs we'll help, but I think your Mom's ring would be a better choice. It was meant for your bride, the youngest son of the bearer..."

"Thanks I think this is right for Eddie. I can't wait to propose and after everything she's been through.." Jamie sighed. "I'll pay you back."

"We know" Danny replied. He walked Jamie out giving him a big hug. "I'll have it for you end of the week. Let me know if there's anything else I can do."

Jamie headed out to Manhasset to meet Eddie, but she wasn't heading back just yet. She was off with Kara, having a girl's heart to heart.

"I'm glad you called, I can't wait to start talking about the wedding," Kara smiled then noticed Eddie's face. "What's wrong, you think it's a mistake?"

"No not at all," Eddie shook her head truthfully. "Just I'm really happy for you and Luke. You guys are like…"

"You and Jamie," Kara smiled. "You two are so cute, he loves you so much. I hate to say it, but things are easier now for you, especially with April."

Eddie sighed quietly, "If he loves me so much Kara why hasn't he asked me to marry him? He's had chances but, maybe he doesn't feel the same way I thought now that he actually has to commit."

Kara took a sip of her tea, "Now that's plain silly. Anyone with eyes can see it. What's got that into your head?"

"Then why hasn't he asked Kara? Maybe he thinks I don't know…maybe he's just around for April?" Eddie clutched her cup.

"Maybe he thinks you need more time," Kara offered. "Is that possible at all? That he might feel you need to grieve longer?"

Eddie sighed taking a deep breath, "Maybe he's just fine the way we are, and doesn't feel he needs to change anything."

"Are you fine the way you are?" Kara asked. "Luke was not happy just being together, he had to marry, but me, I was okay."

"No, I love Jamie and I do want to get married. I'm thinking of asking him and see what he says."

"Well there you go!" Kara smiled. "Take matters into your own hands. You are an independent woman and more than that a woman of independent means."

"I guess, but what if he does just want it this way? I don't know! If I ask him and he says no…" Eddie paused needing her friend's advice.

"My advice, wait just a little longer, maybe a month out. Jamie's a traditionalist. He might just be biding time. If not, then you go for it." Kara gave a smile. "You've waited three years, what's another three weeks?"

Eddie smiled. "Thanks Kara, I will. You're right and Tom just passed." She hoped that's all it was, but if Jamie didn't ask in a month she would.

"Now, let's look at this wedding. I'm thinking something small and maybe destination..." Kara began to discuss her ideas while Eddie silently thought about her own fate and life with Jamie.

That weekend, just as they discussed, Jamie and Eddie moved back home to the apartment, hoping that it would help the kids acclimate better. Eddie let the kids off to play with their toys watching with a small smile as Jamie hugged her.

"Look how nice they play," Jamie smiled. "They are really happy being home. April, come by Daddy."

April set her toy down and watched Max carefuly as she toddled over to Jamie with her arms reached out to be picked up. Jamie hugged her tight, "What is this place?" he asked hoping she equated this house with a home.

"Home. Daddy, Mommy April Max." As she said each name April pointed to that family member.

"Yes, this is home," he smiled. "We are all home now. You want to play with Max?"

April nodded walking back to Max sitting beside him reaching for a toy to give him. "We're home Eddie," Jamie whispered.

"We are." Eddie put his arms around him. "For now. This place is a little small. We should buy."

Jamie smiled kissing her forehead, "We will but right now this is our home."

"The estate is nearly settled and we could buy a house out right." Eddie got the paper. "Look, five bedrooms."

"Five bedrooms? Do you really want a house that big Eddie or are you planning on more kids?" Jamie smiled teasingly.

"Maybe, we never know," Eddie replied. "You can make one into a weight room, we can make a playroom out of the other one"

Smiling Jamie hugged Eddie tighter, "That actually sounds like a great idea, and I would love to have more kids with you." He kissed her cheek.

"It's in Brooklyn heights, back to your old digs, and it's only ten million."

Jamie laughed, "Only? A house with you that does sound good the kids will need space as they get older but that's way too much money on a cops salary and I don't think we need to go that extravagant. Let's check it out but maybe we can add in a few more reasonably priced?"

Eddie smiled, "We need to see the attorneys about taking some items from the house, the piano I got Max, some furnishings, and then April's birth certificate."

"Yeah make it official," Jamie agreed turning to check on their daughter and Max. "We can ask Dad to watch the kids while we speak with the attorney."

"Anita still wants to be involved," Eddie replied. "At least for now so she is able to be around them some while she make her decision."

Jamie nodded, "So we have Anita to ask too they love staying with her so..."

"Yes, and she knows their little quirks," Eddie replied. "Max, that is not food!" Max was biting on his toy pig. Eddie moved closer to him, "You hungry? You two want some fruit pieces?"

"Fruit, Mommom. April fruit too." Max stood looking at his sister intently.

'Yes, you can both have fruit," Eddie smiled turning her attention to her kids.

Eddie headed to the jewelry store a few days later, prepared to take matters into her own hands. She pulled up to the same jeweler Jamie went to for her ring and began to look at stones herself.

The assistant sales clerk, a young girl of about 20, looked up giving Eddie a smile. "Hi, how may I help you today ma'am?"

"My name is Eddie Janko, I have an appointment with Jacques."

"Ah yes," Jacques came out from the back holding his glasses smiling at the pretty young woman. "Miss Janko a pleasure I understand your looking for a ring."

"Yes, a man's wedding ring," Eddie replied with a smile as Jacques took her to a clear display case where they kept wedding rings showing her.

"She's the one," the counter clerk whispered to the cashier. "She has to be, with the man's name. That handsome guy got her a $30000 ring. Eddie, that was the name."

The cashier glanced over raising an eyebrow "Jacques should know that. Are you sure she's the one?"

"Yeah, I remember the cute guy said his fiancée was Eddie, and when Jacques asked he said she was Hungarian...you tell him."

The cashier sighed walking past cases until she reached Jacques. "Excuse me boss, can I have a word with you over here?"

The more seasoned of the clerks told Jacques that Eddie was the recipient of Jamie's extravagant ring, while the giddy young girl teased Eddie. "You don't have to buy your own ring, your man already did.

Eddie nodded, "He did...he bought me a ring. There must be some mistake, Jamison Reagan? Jamie? He bought a ring here." The cheapest ring they carried was $10,000.

"Yes a rather extravagant one too that cost $30,000. He mentioned you were his girlfriend, I just remember you having a man's name."

"Oh, I uh..." Eddie felt her heart sink. "I'm sure there's a mistake, Jamie..."

Jacques rushed up to the front to stop any further chatter. He shot his newest clerk a dirty look. Eddie looked like she was about to cry. Jamie would spend a lot of money on a ring rather than give her his mother's. That hurt.

Eddie had to fight the tears. "Thank you for your time, Jacques."

"Anytime Miss Janko if there's anything I can help either of you with please let us know," Jacques said softly.

"Actually," Eddie said taking a deep breath. "You can sell me a matching man's ring to the one he bought. Size nine."

Jacques nodded pulling out the men's rings from a drawer showing her different styles that complimented the ring Jamie picked out.

Eddie paid cash for the $12,000 piece, then put it safely in her purse. Her heart still ached that he didn't want to give her his mother's engagement ring, that ring meant so much to him...

Eddie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice a pair of eyes tracking her from the moment she left the store. She didn't feel the eyes on her back or hear the footsteps rushing up behind her.

Her purse was pulled quickly from under her arm, the kid reached in grabbed for her wallet and anything else that could be valuable.

The strap broke as Eddie moved to reach for her weapon. The boy took off at full speed down an alley with not just her wallet but Jamie's ring. Eddie kicked into full speed. "Police! Stop!" She ran into the alley, stopping short and sliding on her stomach, ripping the skin off both knees.

The kid continued running holding the valuables, breathing sharply not even looking back as he approached a chain linked fence.

Eddie took a breath and got up. She knew this neighborhood, that fence let out about half a mile down. She jumped in her car and was waiting at the end of the run. That's when she got the real shock.

The kid skidded to a stop seeing her in front of him his face round young eyes about seven or eight years old looking back and forth for a way to escape.


	147. Chapter 147

Chapter One Hundred Forty Seven

"Drop the purse," Eddie said in a firm tone, the same she used on Max and April. "Then put both your hands on your head." She meant business.

The boy stopped slowly putting his hands up over his head, eyes round, watching her. "Please I'm sorry."

Eddie moved closer and noticed the odor. This child was clearly filthy and his skin showed he was malnourished. "What's your name?" Eddie asked. "Carlos," he replied. She nodded, "I'm Detective Janko." Eddie reached into her purse and called it in, "This is Detective Janko Shield number...I have a juvenile under for theft." Kara rodgered the call.

The boy shifted keeping his hands visible, eyes dark, but rounded sparkling. "I'm sorry are you going to bring me in?"

"We have to," Eddie replied. "You're outside by yourself and stealing. I can't let you go. We have to call your parents and have them come and get you. She had a firm grip on the little guy.

"No! Don't do that I was supposed to get it for them please. I'll take anything else but don't tell them!" He pleaded trying to shift away from her.

"Hey, calm down," Eddie got him in a firmer hold. "I told you I was a cop. Well, part of my job is that I can't let anyone get hurt, okay? I won't let your parents or anyone hurt you because you did something wrong, but you do have to be..." The RMP pulled up with child welfare right behind. The boy was sobbing now, begging Eddie to let him go.

"Don't let them take me," the boy hugged her leg tightly hollering and refusing to go with them.

"Let's all take a ride to the precinct, I'll come with you and we'll sort it all out," Eddie said. "I'll ride with you, come on." Eddie got the boy to walk.

"Okay, guys, looks like Mommom is late so..." Jamie sighed. Things were still a little off with him and Eddie. "Who wants cookies and milk in their sippy cups?"

Both kids raised their hands walking to the table trying to climb up on their chairs. "Milk daddy Pease max milk too," April spoke for her brother.

Jamie helped April, she was still really small and had her mom's short legs. Max was in his do it myself stage and got onto his chair first. Jamie served the cookies and sat as they ate.

"Hmm " April ate shaking her head with a big smile. Max opened up the cookie eating the cream first getting chocolate all over his face.

"You two are so messy," Jamie laughed. "We'll take our bath together tonight." He was getting worried about Eddie. She'd been gone for hours, all she said was she had errands. He called her cell while the kids ate, but went directly to voicemail.

As if to prove a point Max reached his chocolate covered hands up to his father's face laughing. "Daddy cookie."

"Oh, yes, you did have a cookie," Jamie laughed. "You're such a giant mess. Finish up then we'll play with Charlie Tugboat, would you like that?" He prayed neither one started calling for Eddie.

The kids finished content with spending time with Daddy. "I do," Max said taking a napkin to wipe the cookie off his hands. April looked around the kitchen curiously. "All done."

"Okay, good girl, good boy, Maxy wiping your face," Jamie praised. "Let's go potty then to the bath. Let's go..." April spoke to the air, her imaginary friend tagging along for a trip to the tub as well.

Jamie took the kids to the bathroom and turned the water on. "Okay who else should we put in the tub?"

"Cattie," April told him. "She play boats, play Max too." Jamie smiled. April had learned to include her brother in her imagination.

"Sure. I love how you are including your brother," Jamie put the other toy in bathing April first while Max played.

He let her play keeping an eye on both kids washing April then lifting her out to drain the tub for Max. "Play with the toys while it's Max's turn." Jamie told her. As they waited for the water Jamie dressed April then put Max in.

Max was all boy. He always turned his tub water to mud. Shaking his head at his son Jamie let Max soak a little before cleaning him listening to April playing.

"See toot," she said to the air. "Momma do song, tuck in. Daddy, Momma come?"

Jamie sighed, "I don't know if momma can come tonight honey, but I'll tuck you in and read a story for you and Maxy."

"Momma bye bye," April nodded but that news upset Max.

"No Mommom, bye bye," his eyes rounded looking at Jamie bottom lip quivering.

"Mommom will be home when you are sleeping and she'll give you kisses." Jamie took Max out and held him tight before the boy had a total meltdown.

"Mommom," Max sniffled in his Daddy's arms. April went over wanting hugs and to comfort Max.

Jamie put both kids in the big bed to fall asleep. His phone went off in the living room, but he wanted to get the kids down to sleep. He put the babies in their bed once they fell asleep and let his phone ring. April looked up her eyes slowly closing. "Love Daddy, love Maxy."

Jamie tucked the babies in and kissed them both. Then he answered his phone

The caller ID said he had a missed call from Kara. Sighing Jamie called his friend back. "Hey Kara everything okay? I was putting the kids to bed."

"Just thought I'd let you know Eddie was here. She had an arrest but she'll be back home soon. Her phone was broken."

"Thank goodness I was worried. I called but she didn't answer. How did her phone break?"

"When she fell down," Kara replied. Jamie hung up and called Mrs. Trent to sit with the babies before grabbing his keys.

He had one foot out the door when he saw Eddie. Both knees were skinned, her palms scraped and her usually neat hair was askew. Worst though were the tear stained cheeks.

"Eddie I was so worried, are you okay? What happened?" Jamie carefully helped her back into the apartment and sat her on the couch.

"This world is going to Hell. I'm sorry I'm so late I was with child services and then Sarge to try to help this kid. He's eight and he's stealing purses."

"What? I was just worried Eddie I called you. What happened? You look like you went through a battle," Jamie assessed her injuries.

"This kid, Carlos, he's eight. In five years our Max will be eight. He stole my purse and has no family to come claim him. Foster care took him. Cried the whole time."

"Oh, Eddie," Jamie sighed and pulled her close to him. "I'm so sorry, honey. Let me see those knees, you took the skin clean off."

Jamie moved to the bathroom, letting their neighbor know that she could go home. He got the peroxide and gauze pads, and a tub of warm water to clean the cuts. Jamie took Eddie's tattered stockings off her legs. Gently, he cleaned the cuts. "That stings…" Eddie winced.

"I know, I'm sorry," Jamie soothed. "These are deep. So, this little kid, is he going to be okay?"

Eddie took a breath, "I pulled a couple strings and I...I called your father for a favor," she confessed.

"Okay," Jamie was listening. He didn't always feel comfortable but if Eddie needed to for a little kid…

"We got him in with Iris Turner, one of the best foster parents they have and she's **only got one child right now, a little guy, he's four. Her other two fosters just aged out so she needs to nurture a bit too."**

"I worked with her once and she is a nice lady, you think she can help?" Jamie asked.

"All this kid needs is a little guidance, a little structure, and a chance to be a kid. Not be out snatching purses for his parents' drug habits!" Eddie fumed. "Yes, I think she's the answer. I really do, so I made it happen. Sometimes, you just have to make things happen yourself."

Jamie had no idea how pointed that was.

Jamie finished bandaging Eddie's knees and cleaned up her palms. "Max was upset you weren't here, I told him you would give him a kiss when you got home."

Eddie nodded, "Jamie, after what I saw today I don't ever want to let our babies go again. How could any parent just use their little boy like that? He held me and he begged me not to let them take him. But, when Mrs. Turner came, with snickerdoodles and a wiffle ball bat, his eyes lit up and he was ready to go. Didn't even ask about his parents, his eyes were so big and delighted."

Eddie went to check on her own children. Max was sleeping with his pig and lullaby bear "Goodnight Maxy," Eddie whispered kissing his head. "I love you. Mommom loves you so…"

He stirred and sighed, falling right back to sleep. April was also sound asleep in her bed. "Mommy loves you baby girl. Dream well…"

Eddie stepped out of the bedroom and leaned into Jamie. "Does he even know what the word love sounds like? Did anyone even hold that little boy? Max didn't have a mother at first, but he had you, you loved him, you made sure he was held and kissed and cuddled, but…"

"I know…come on, you had a rough day, clean up and lie down. We can check on him tomorrow if you want to, I'm sure that'll be okay," Jamie soothed. "We can take him a few things he might like, then get you a new phone."

Eddie nodded, she was sore and very tired, heartsick, for more than one reason, she slept on her own side of the bed.

Eddie tried to put the ring out of her mind and hold onto the fact that Jamie was going to propose and in fact was buying a very extravagant ring. She should be happy with that, enjoy that, but it stung he didn't want her to wear Mary's ring.

Danny gave Jamie the money as promised, Jamie went to pick it up, thinking now the following Saturday would be a good day for the proposal. He asked Anita to watch the children, she was happy to do it. He made reservations at The Palm for that night and set the band up with their favorite song. This would not be just any proposal, it would be the best one he could imagine making for Eddie.

He swung by the family home after retrieving the ring. "Hey, Dad, you here?" Jamie called out. Frank was alone a lot since Henry died and it worried Jamie that he was in that big house by himself.

"In here, Jamie," Frank called. "To what do I owe…You didn't bring the kids?"

"No, the kids are at home," Jamie replied. "I'm going there myself but I picked up Eddie's ring and I wanted to see what you thought." Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out the gorgeous ring to show his father.

"That is very…" Frank began. "Very nice, it's certainly big enough. How much that set you back?" Frank knew in his heart that his soon to be new daughter would not like this ring, she might even be offended by it. "Are you sure that's the ring that you want to give her? Sit tight."

Jamie smiled at the ring, sparkling in the light. Eddie would be so proud to wear it. Frank returned with Mary's ring, "Take this ring with you," he advised.

" **No," Jamie shook his head, "No, I can't do that. I appreciate it but no. This is the right ring for Eddie."**

" **You'd know that better than anyone son," Frank replied. "I knew this was the right ring for your mother. The day I slid it on her finger, I did it on the promenade by the Brooklyn Bridge. I held her in my arms, under the stars, and I asked her…Mary Reilly, will you marry me? Then I showed her the ring. She was my Eddie, my soulmate, my other half. When you gave me it back, after Sydney…you said one day you hoped to give it back to a woman that you loved truly and that truly loved you."**

 **Frank put the ring in Jamie's hand. "Let your heart decide when you're ready to ask your soulmate to marry you which ring she should wear. I think, you were saving this ring for Eddie. You didn't give it to Claudia when you married her because you knew it was wrong, but this…for Eddie, you know it's right. So you think about it, with your heart, not your head."**

Jamie nodded, "I will think on it, Dad. I promise I will."

Jamie wanted nothing more than for Eddie to wear his mother's ring, but the 0.75 carat ring wasn't much compared to what she had. They were in a small apartment in Queens, not in her grand home, that was her choice, but still, he felt he had to strive for more.

Jamie pondered this all the way home.

Eddie sat on the floor with April and Max all cross legged singing a song to some silly game Eddie found cracking the toddlers up.

"Max sing pretty," April said and smiled. "Yes, he does," Eddie replied. "Okay, Max, spin the wheel, it's your turn." Eddie never looked prettier than she was sitting with their kids around her. "Hey, looks like fun."

Eddie looked up at him smiling holding Max and April close as they played. "Hey want to join us? Where should daddy sit guys?"

"Wif me!" April declared and went over to Jamie. She was really bonding with him and craving male affection. Max spun the wheel and the instructions were, "Take off one sock..." "Okay, Maxy, take your sock off, one sock..." Eddie encouraged.

Max reached down for his foot pulling the sock off his left foot allowing him to see his wriggling toes. He burst into laughter at this.

"Good boy!" Eddie praised as April clapped her hands. "Okay Daddy, it's your turn." Jamie spun the wheel and ignored the directions. It says "Kiss Mommy." Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss. As he held his children and saw Eddie playing and laughing, he knew in his heart what was right, he knew deep down what he had to do...and he was going to do it.

"Okay, guys," Jamie called. "Put your toys away, Daddy has a surprise." April and Max excitedly cleaned up their toys looking up at him both wide eyed.

Eddie put their shoes on. April was dressed in pink overalls and a white lace top. Max was in little khaki pants and a navy collared shirt. Neat and clean. They headed out of the apartment the two kids holding hands with Jamie and Eddie on either side.

Jamie smiled nervous inside taking April's hand before crossing the busy street to a local ice cream parlor up the avenue. The family drew some looks, being adorable did that. "Okay April and Mommom, ladies first."

April chose a chocolate sundae with rainbow sprinkles and syrup watching with a smile and clapping her hands excitedly. Eddie chose pistachio with chocolate chips and hot fudge. Max only wanted strawberry.

"Tank you, Daddy," April said holding her ice cream eagerly reaching for the spoon to eat it. Max dug into his the minute it was handed to him.

"Wait for your bibs," Eddie told both kids. The spoons were long and thin, they were going to make a huge mess.

When they came Jamie tied the bibs for them getting plenty of napkins. "Eat mommom?" Both kids looked up at waiting for approval.

"Just a minute," Jamie said gently. "Today we are going to play a special game. We're all going to eat some of our ice cream. Then when Mommom or Daddy says switch, we will spin the wheel so our ice cream goes to the person next to us. So we can all try everything. Okay?"

The kids' eyes widened nodding that they understood waiting to be told it was okay that they ate." Ready..." Eddie held up her spoon and the kids followed suit. "Eat!" Max dove back into his strawberry ice cream. He loved to eat, April did as well, but she ate like a lady, but still, a big sundae and a little girl spelled mess.

Jamie and Eddie watched smiling eating their own ice cream slower. "Switch," Jamie told them shifting his ice cream to April. The more the kids ate, the dirtier they got. Jamie kept his eye on Eddie's ice cream, he had plans for that pass. When her ice cream reached him, he checked to be sure she was distracted, then slid the ring box under the napkin. Max was trying to feed her some of the ice cream in front of him, he didn't like Jamie's classic ice cream choice.

All the while, the other patrons in the ice cream parlor were looking at the little family. They smiled as they laughed together, smiled at each other, and generally enjoyed each other's company. A few older patrons commented on the children's excellent manners and behavior, both Eddie and Jamie beamed with joy at that.

He gave it a few minutes before smiling. "Okay switch," Jamie told them making sure to pass the one he had over to Eddie nonchalantly watching her.

Eddie took a bit of her now runny ice cream, then reached for her napkin to wipe her mouth. Underneath sat the ring box, Eddie gasped. "Oh, Jamie...is this..." He took her hand pushing the chair back cupping a hand over hers. Jamie came around and knelt in front of Eddie, on one knee. He held her gaze, tears in both of their eyes, and spoke simply, "You are the light of our world, the center of our family, my soulmate and my best friend. So we ask you now, all three of us, will you marry me?"

"Yes," Eddie replied definitively with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Jamie, it's so beautiful. It's exactly what I would have picked out if…"

"It was my mother's," Jamie replied softly. "You remind me of her, your spirit, your love for family. I bought another ring, but this is the one that I wanted to slide on your finger when I proposed."

Eddie wiped tears from her eyes, "I'm so glad you did. This is the ring I wanted you to give me. I know what it means to you and our family. I'll try to live up to her memory Jamie. I'll try."

Jamie tipped Eddie's jaw up to take her lips and seal their engagement with his kiss. 'You already have."

"Yay!" Max lifted his little arms in delight. April beamed and clapped in delight. They didn't' understand what happened but they knew it was good.


	148. Chapter 148

Chapter One Hundred Forty Eight

Frank came to pick the children up once Jamie called him. When he walked in the door, he took a moment to go right to Eddie to see Mary's ring on her finger. Frank held her hand and smiled at her, "My Mary would be so happy this ring now belongs to you. Welcome to the family, Eddie"

Eddie gave Frank a hug and kiss, "Thank you, I can't wait to be Mrs. Reagan. I'll try to make her proud."

With tears in his eyes, Frank offered a smile and returned the affectionate gesture before quickly leaving. Frank moved quickly leaving with two sticky and wired children so the newly engaged couple to go home and celebrate in private. While Eddie combed out her hair, Jamie ran a tub of hot water, he planned to pamper her, worship her, and together create a glimpse of the rest of their lives.

Jamie turned on his phone, he made a playlist entitled simply, "Eddie". It included some of the songs they sang together in the RMP, the one the disagreed over the night of their first kiss, and of course, their song. Jamie unzipped the back of Eddie's dress and pushed the material to the floor in one sweep. Not much else was going to fit in the dress, so all he had to remove after that were the thin, red, lacy panties she wore. Jamie bent and picked her up, lowering her into the hot, sudsy water.

"I don't think you could have made a more beautiful evening," Eddie whispered as Jamie settled in the tub behind her. "It felt just right, with our babies there and our memories. I can't wait to become a family, to marry you…"

"We were supposed to be together all along," Jamie whispered. "And it was my fear that stopped it. It was almost my fear that stopped me from asking or at least asking with Mom's ring. I thought you'd want something bigger and more ostentatious. I didn't want to look like…"

"Jamie, you could never be anything to me other than the man I love more than my own life," Eddie whispered. "You and our children are everything to me. You have to be nothing more than yourself. It's your simplicity, how down to earth you are, how I can just be me with you. I just want to be me, I'm not Mrs. Thomas Manning anymore, I'm not even Edit Janko…I'm the soon to be Mrs. Jamison Reagan, and that's all I want to be."

Jamie kept silent, choosing instead to convey his emotion with his actions.

She felt him move behind her, sweep her hair into one hand, as he soaped her shoulders with the other. More than his touch on her, she felt his presence, the tension radiating from his body. She could sense each little flicker of movement within him, each nuisance of muscle play. She wound her fingers over the rim of the tub, holding on as if she stood at the brink of a great precipice, and should she let go, she would fall.

She couldn't think; it was as if her mind were being lulled as well as her senses with the motion and touch and scent of the man she loved. The gold hair within his hands felt like silk. So did the flesh of the ivory column of her neck. He cupped his hand in the water to splash it over her shoulders, then retrieved the soap and ran it along her spine. Her back was sleek, tucked deeply at the waist. Such beauty. He silently lathered the soap over her, feeling her shivering beneath his caressing fingers. He leaned low to plant his lips against her nape, grazing it lightly with his teeth. She went rigid, but the trembling continued. He saw the knuckles of her small, petite hands grow white over the edge of the tub, and he moved his lips closer to her ear, his breath a caress that brought about a new spasm of shivers.

Still behind her, he slipped his hands beneath her arms and raised her, soaping her back again, then dropping the soap as he splayed his fingers over her shoulder and massaged her ivory flesh, moving ever downward to cradle her buttocks and kept sensuously caressing her. His every action was calculated and precise. He touched his lips to her neck again, then moved them slowly down the entire length of her spin, his tongue flicking gently at each vertabra. He shifted his hand to encompass her hips, and knelt, leaning his chest against the tub to nip lightly at her firm ivory cheeks.

She turned within the slick grasp of her hands and saw that her eyes were wildly dilated. He smiled, and the flame that conquered the blue ice in his eyes made her lashes raise high and flutter with desire. He released her only momentarily to dig for the soap again, and his hands moved up her calf. He rubbed the soap high up her leg, taking his massive sweeps as high as the flesh of her inner thigh, where he left off, rising to bring it over her belly, and allowing his fingers to tease the hollows of her hips and the pit of her belly upon her flat sleek midsection. Then with both hand, he began to massage her breasts, cupping their weight and fondling slowly in a circular pattern, his thumbs grazing the suds over her nipples.

She remained still, her fingers clutched into her palms, a pulse ticking madly at the base of her throat. He gazed into her face as he leisurely held her breasts, feeling the erotic rise of her nipples, dark and rogue beneath the soap. Her eyes were still wide, glazed, her jaw tightened, but her lips parted, as if she would issue a plea again but could not. He leaned closer and touched his lips to hers. He pushed his tongue through her lips, parting her mouth with his, driving deeply into the moist depths. A tiny sound escaped her, a sound of pure pleasure. As he held her, he moved his hand over her breast, gliding the soap downward again, his hand massaging the silken flesh between her legs. A sound, a gasp, a moan, broke into his ravaging mouth, but he continued his massage, his fingers probing surely between her legs to stroke her most tender flesh.

Her hand desperately clutched around his shoulders. He broke his kiss, dipping to cup water and splash it quickly over her body, aware that she braced herself with her hands on his shoulders. He lifted her, wet, into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down, gazing upon her, her wide, brilliant sapphire eyes, her full ivory mounds with the rouge crests grown hard and dark, her smooth belly, her shadowed hip bones, her beautiful body that seemed to promise the greatest pleasure he'd ever known. She could no longer think, this always happened with his touch. She startled to tremble, and then she seemed to lose control of her limbs completely. Hot liquid seemed to rush through her like the continual tide of the sea. Blackness overwhelmed her, and then stars, and then light, and then blackness again. Something began, imperceptible at first, but rising undeniably like a firestorm.

Back in Brooklyn, Frank had his hands full. Only his understanding of the deep and abiding love Jamie and Eddie shared kept him from calling them. "April, come now, it's bed time, be a good girl and lie down for Grandpa," Frank coaxed. Max was just lying down, but April was bouncing all around.

"No tired, I play." She grabbed a teddy bear flying it all over the room giggling at her made-up game that only made sense to her.

Frank sighed, he knew he was crazy to take on two toddlers high on sugar and fun time with their parents.

April sang waving the teddy around sitting on the floor by her toys picking one up clearly not intending to lie down yet.

Frank was okay with just one kid running around, but Max saw April get up and he got out of his bed to play. "I play too...' Frank groaned. What would settle these kids? "Okay, five minutes then Grandpa will make you some warm milk for sleepy time."

Neither child answered him. Max joined his sister handing her a cup. "April drink ..." He pretended to give her a drink taking the cup back. They were both giggling and laughing, April stood up to run, and Max chased her. Then she turned and chased him, both of them laughing like cherubs.

April cradled the teddy bear running out of the room with Max nearly right behind laughing at their game.

Frank caught both little kids in his big arms, "Okay, quiet time on the couch with Grandpa. Here you go...sippy cups of warm milk. Yummy..."

They wiggled trying to get free taking the sippy cups. "Gwandpa read book," April pointed to one of her favorite books.

Frank read to the children, he felt Max go still and fall asleep against his side. April was still fighting, just like Jamie, he never wanted to miss anything. "Look Max fell asleep. Let's put him to bed then I'll rock you too." Frank picked up both kids carrying them upstairs to put Max down.

Max stayed asleep and snuggled into his blanket. Frank sat with his baby granddaughter, on his lap. April refused to go down fighting though her eyes closed then reopened. "No seep," her eyes closed. "No tired."

"That's a good girl. Papa's gonna make it all right, babe..." Frank sang an old show tune. "Papa's gonna make it all right..." He kissed her blonde hair as she sighed in her sleep.

He rocked until sure April was asleep putting her down in the crib next to Max. "Night honey. Sweet dreams, Grandpa loves you."

Eddie didn't know if she would ever move again, but slowly strength and purpose returned to her body. She rolled over Jamie for a moment, and reached into the drawer beside their bed. She pulled out a sandalwood and mint oil. She poured a small amount of the lotion into her palms and set the vial upon the floor. He felt he had lost all power of speech, he only managed to make a few sounds.

She pressed against him, all she could do was feel. She rubbed her breasts against his oil slick chest and cried out as his hands moved over her breasts, caressing them. Feeling his own fires burn ever brighter as they touched pure ecstasy. His heart was pounding with desire and he eased around her to keep her close and warm in his arms. He smiled slightly.

Her lips had gone dry. She tried to wet them but her mouth was dry as well. A cry escaped her, their eyes met and held, the love shining through. She kissed him, slowly leisurely, tracing his lips with the tip of her tongue. His tongue probed her mouth deeply. Holding her hands, he lifted himself slightly and caught her eyes again. Then he shifted to lower himself against her and take her breast into his mouth, fondling the nipple slowly, then more demandingly. He glanced at her, seeing her eyes half closed in pleasure, then repeated the gesture on the other sweetly curved high and firm mound. Her fingers began to flex, release, and then grip tightly over his.

He parted her thighs with his knee and slid the bulk of his weight between them. He kept lowering himself, soft kisses, gentle bites, as his moist tongue taunted her ribs. He wedged his chest deeply between her thighs, forcing them gently to give way fully. He felt their bodies quivering, beginning a sensuous rhythm that lay just beyond. He looked up at her face, pale and beautiful in the mantle of fine golden hair splayed across the pillow.

He tightened his fingers firmly around hers, feeling the tension in her hands, then kept his eyes upon her face as he delved into the gold curls with his tongue. She gasped and shuttered wildly, he held her hands more surely and continued probing gently to find and fondle the tender vulnerable folds of her womanhood with the most gentle of weapons. Then he released her hands, sliding his own beneath her buttocks, and delved deeply, questing, seeking her feminine warmth. He was rewarded by a surge within her. She arched to his hold, shuddering in rhythmic spasms.

She moaned out, "Please!" and he looked back to her face, seeing that she tossed her head and moistened her dry lip with the delicate tip of her tongue. She writhed against him with the natural grace and rhythm that was her very essence. Her fingers dug into the bedding, then into his shoulders.

He took her gently, with persuasive lips and tongue until her body replied to his attentions. She cried out in delight when he settled himself between her thighs and entered her. He held himself still, feeling the pulse of his sex sheathed warmly within her. He began whispering to her, stroking her hair, "I love you," he gasped. "I love you so much."

"Jamie…" She buried her head against his neck, her fingers clinging tensely to his shoulders. He was within her and the pain was like burning steel, yet his broad chest offered a strange security and comfort. He had made her his time and again, and at this moment, she had never felt more loved.

He did not release her, but stayed within her as the world slowly took on its proper proportions again. Then he left her slowly, savoring the wonderful sensations of withdrawal.

"Wow…" Eddie sighed as their breathing returned to normal. "If that's how you celebrate and engagement, I hate to see what you do with the wedding night. " She placed gentle kisses along his chest as he cradled her there.

"Oh…that will be…" Jamie smiled. "Have you thought at all about our wedding? I know you are planning something with Kara, do you want to…"

"No," Eddie said quickly. "There is only one place for this wedding, for our wedding to be Jamie. At our special place, beneath our special tree, in Montana."

Jamie and Eddie parked their car outside Frank's house and each took the hand of one of the kids. April had two new books to show to her Grandpa Frank and her older cousins hoping they would read to her. Max carried his toy truck, his new favorite. "Hey, we're here."

"Hey, there they are, the kiddos" Danny went to scoop up both kids and hug them tight. "Hi, Unca Danny," Max smiled. April giggled, "Hi, have book."

"How did we ever miss this kid was yours?" Danny laughed. "Okay, run along with your book and see if Jack will read to you."

Linda hurried over to Eddie and smiled, "Let me see that rock." She picked up her hand and looked surprised. She didn't see the rock on her hand, but Marys' ring in its place. Linda's face broke into a huge smile. "Now, that's where that ring belongs. It looks so lovely on your hand. Did you pick a date?"

"Not yet, we just know it's destination," Eddie replied. "In Montana, there's a tree…I think I have a picture of it on my phone."

Eddie scrolled for the pictures, surprised and happy when Erin came over to see. "Can I have a look?"

Eddie nodded, "Yes, of course. Jamie and I had some really long talks under this tree. They did a wedding there the second year we were out there. It was so beautiful. We haven't discussed anything else. What do you think?"

"I think it's very nice, do they have an alternate venue for rain?" Linda asked. "I only ask because my wedding day was a total wash out, rained all day."

"They have a ball room…" Eddie replied. "But it wouldn't matter if it rained on my wedding day, not to Jamie." Eddie looked over with her eyes so full of love even Erin had to smile.

"Then I asked her to marry me," Jamie told his nephews.

"That ice cream idea was good, I might borrow that one," Jack laughed. "When we double date. You know, when I get a girlfriend."

Jamie laughed, "Sure Jack, no worries, you can borrow my methods anytime."

Jamie tickled April's belly as she went past to find a toy near Max.

Nikki didn't arrive until it was nearly dinner time. Eddie was just helping April put on her bib when she arrived. "Good, Nikki,' Frank smiled. 'You're here, just in time to toast Jamie and Eddie's engagement. Get a glass there."

Nikki sat down and took her water glass and raised it as Frank spoke, "To my youngest son and his wife-to-be, I know the joy of being married to your soulmate, to the light of your world. May you both be as happy together as Mary and I were and for much longer. Eddie, my Mary would be so proud to have you wear her ring."

Eddie smiled, "Wait a minute," Nikki piped up. "Uncle Jamie, you gave her Grandma's ring?"

"Yes," Frank replied. "Yes, he did. Pop gave me that ring to give to your grandma, Nikki. Pop was the youngest son and he gave it to Grandma Betty…it goes to the youngest son for their wife. Max might not even inherit that ring if Jamie and Eddie have another child that is a boy."

"Well, that's not in the cards right now I hope, two kids both under three and in diapers…"

Max and April took offense to that comment, "Do not have diapers, have big boy pants!"

Jamie laughed, "Okay max you are a big boy and April is a big girl right?" April beamed only half looking at him when she did.

"You know what I mean, Jamie," Erin replied. "At least wait a bit before you talk about that. And don't rush the wedding either." "I'd like to go back to Grandma's ring on her finger." Nikki replied.

"What about it Niki? My mom left it for the youngest son which was me so I gave it to Eddie," Jamie told her patiently not seeing what else there was to talk about.

"It's just different, Sydney wore the ring well, and you had a chance to use it. She knew Grandma too, Eddie doesn't!"

Jamie sighed, "That was a shame because grandma would have loved Eddie and loved to see me happy."

"Jamie..." Eddie sighed. "Honey..."

Frank took a breath, "Nikki, the fact of the matter is, the ring belonged to me since Grandma died and I decide who gets that ring. If I wanted to save it for Jack or Sean and break tradition I could but I didn't. Uncle Jamie is marrying his soulmate, like I did and she is going to wear that ring. Eddie reminded me of grandma, I want her to wear the ring."

"Dad's right Eddie you do remind me of my mom, caring, but can put us in our place when we need to. You are my soulmate." Danny grinned across the table at his little brother.

Jamie kissed Eddie square on the lips. Nikki sighed, "Well probably for the best anyway, and if it's the youngest son...hopefully you two have a boy so that way an actual Reagan gets the ring and not Max."

"And why is that? Max is Jamie's son and if he's our only son the ring would fairly go to him! Max is a Reagan like the rest of you!"

"Max is not Jamie's son!" Nikki replied. "You used your money and bought him like a puppy or something, he should be with his real father..." The tone was upsetting the kids, although the meaning was lost on them, so Jack took them out. Erin gasped, "Nikki, behave yourself."

Eddie's heart raced her temper boiling. "Jamie raised Max from when he was a baby! He is Jamie's son and he is a Reagan not that any of this concerns you."

Jamie stood up, "Eddie get the children's things, we're leaving. Dad, thank you for dinner. Let's go."

Eddie got up too going to gather the kid's things like Jamie asked. "Jamie." Frank didn't want either of them to leave.

"Dad, I'm not exposing my family to this. I am not going to do it." Frank nodded, "Nikki, I understand you are upset but you hold your tongue and be respectful or you leave this table. Now, everyone sit."

Sighing Jamie relented pulling Eddie's chair out for her sitting beside her quietly not looking at Nikki once.


	149. Chapter 149

Chapter One Hundred Forty Nine

The rest of the meal was uneventful. Not long after dessert, Jamie and Eddie headed home to the apartment. "Eddie, she's just like that. We all indulged her because of the divorce…"

"And you made excuses. Well, I will not. She will not speak that away around my children!" Eddie said firmly.

"No, she won't," Jamie replied. "I have a feeling Erin is taking care of that. Even she wasn't able to excuse her behavior…" Jamie stepped by the sink. "Oh, this sink again…" he grouched. "Can you do their baths tonight? I have to fix this…"

"We can just call…"

"I can fix it, it's just a leak," Jamie assured her with a smile. "Go on…You know you love me with a tool belt."

Eddie admitted that, "Okay honey. You play handyman, I'll play Mommy…later, we can play something else."

Jamie's eyes flashed and headed to get his tool box.

The family settled into a lovely rhythm. Jamie and Eddie managed to have a few nights at home together. Anita continued to help with the kids as well as Frank, Danny and Linda. Erin offered at times but Jamie was leery of that even thought she had accepted the engagement.

This particular night, Eddie made cabbage noodles and chopped meat with sauce, then the kids were allowed two cookies each before bedtime with their milk. April went to bed first, she got a little crankier if she got too tired, the six month age difference did show at bedtime.

Jamie took her by the hand and got her settled in her bed. "Goodnight, April," Jamie whispered as he and Eddie did bedtime with the kids. "We love you."

"Night, Mommom. Night Daddy, love you," April's eyes closed tiredly clutching an arm around her favorite stuffed animal.

They turned off April's light then headed to get Max. He was allowed ten minutes more because he was just that much older. He was sleepy and held Jamie as he was carried to his big boy bed.

Jamie carefully set him down tucking the covers around his sleepy son giving him hugs and kisses. "Night buddy love you, sweet dreams."

He and Eddie turned the night light on in the hallway and headed to their room. "Oh, my back," Jamie complained. He had to fix the sink again earlier and knew as soon as he stood up he tweaked it.

"What's wrong, Jamie? Did you bend the wrong way again fixing the sink? Should have called a plumber to do it," Eddie looped an arm through his entering their bedroom.

"I know how to fix a sink, why spend so much money on a hair clog?" Jamie replied. "It's pulling a little bit, kind of sore."

She sat Jamie on the bed and moved in behind him. Smiling, Eddie began rubbing his back slowly. "How's that feel?"

"Good, oh, right there," Jamie replied. "Right in that spot. Really, Eddie, we don't always need to go to money all the time, we can make it work otherwise. I know you have money from Tom, but this is our family now."

"I know and that's not why. Jamie, you're good around the house, but times like this hurting your back over a stupid sink isn't worth it," Eddie sighed.

"You saying I'm getting old, Janko?" he laughed and winced in pain. "Ouch...oh that hurts."

Eddie smirked, "I rest my case counselor," she moved her hands lightly massaging him.

Jamie was not a good patient. He was a big baby and liked to be fussed over.

"Is that helping at all? Come here, I'll get the muscle relaxer and a cane," Eddie teased him.

"Very funny," he rolled his eyes. "Just a pillow under my knees."

With one hand on Jamie's back, Eddie put the pillow under his knees going to get the muscle relaxer from their bathroom cabinet. "This should help."

"Thanks...come here...snuggle up here. Did I hear you on the phone making the reservations for New Orleans? That hotel is pretty much the best one there is. And way out of Kara and Luke's price range?" Jamie was feeling uneasy with all the money Eddie was willing to freely spend.

"I want their night to be one that they'll remember you know," Eddie snuggled on his chest shrugging. "Plus, Kara is one of my best friends."

Jamie let it go, he didn't want to argue with her about money, not when he felt so miserable. Eddie tucked her head on Jamie's chest, "I was thinking, for our wedding, to keep it really simple. Family and friends, maybe fifty people at the chalet?

"You don't want a church wedding where you can dress up in a white gown?" Jamie moved an arm around her waist holding Eddie close thinking of his family's weddings.

"It's our second marriage, and our place below the tree is so special. It's where we've said all our promises so far, why not there to say the ultimate promises? We can have a priest."

Jamie nodded kissing her head, "You're right, it is very special to us and it'll be a special day no matter what. I just want to marry you Eddie."

"I just want to marry you." Jamie shut his eyes as the muscle relaxer began to work. Eddie rubbed his chest softly so he could rest. They both feel asleep holding one another tight.

They were just falling into a more relaxed sleep when screams echoed from across the hall where Max' s room was. Jamie stirred hearing them, sitting up.

Eddie was up and out of bed in one quick motion, running before her feet hit the ground. Jamie was two steps behind her. Max was sitting up in his bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was awake but staring as if he was looking through them.

"Hey Maxy, Mommom is here. What's wrong honey? Tell Mommom what's wrong, it's okay you're safe." Eddie enclosed Max against her rocking him letting him know it was okay.

The boy's body was rigid, he didn't acknowledge Eddie was there, he screamed and kicked his legs in fury, crying out repeatedly. Jamie knew it was only a matter of time before April started so he shut Max's door hoping she'd stay asleep.

"Ssh, Max, it's okay. You're safe, Mommom and Daddy are here, and we won't let anything happen to you. It's okay," Eddie repeated holding onto him.

"What's wrong with him?" Jamie asked going closer. The little boy was shaking, he wet his pull up, and still didn't move or relax in Eddie's arms. "Let me try."

Eddie carefully shifted Max into Jamie's arms. "Hey, Max. Hey buddy, Daddy is here. You're safe here, we have you." Jamie whispered rocking his boy slowly.

Nothing seemed to help, the screams continued. Eddie took Max back and held him in nursing position. She took off her pajama top and held him skin to skin then gently began to sing in Serbian.

The screams continued at first, but then slowly got quiet as Max relaxed. Jamie watched wide eyed and helpless.

Max never acknowledged them, and the screams stopped as suddenly as they began. "I've never seen anything like that...he's drenched, we have to change his pull up and wash him off."

As Eddie stood up, Max opened his eyes looking right at her but he seemed very confused.

"Hey, sweetie," Eddie smiled. "Hey, look who's that?" She wasn't sure if he knew what was going on. She prayed he understood.

"Mommom," Max looked right up at her seeing Jamie watching over her shoulder. "Daddy."

"Yea, you okay, sweetie?" Eddie asked rocking him. "You okay?"

"Mommom," Max cradled against her, thumb in his mouth, needing comfort.

"Okay, let's get you changed and back to bed. Come on..." Eddie put him on the floor, having him walk to the bathroom for a cleanup. He fell asleep as she carried him back.

Jamie moved in letting Eddie put Max down leaning in for a hug and kiss worrying. "What was that, Eddie?"

"I think it was a night terror, let's see how he does the next few nights. If it keeps happening we'll take him to the doctor."

Sighing Jamie ran a hand through Max' s hair quietly watching him sleep soundly again.

The next few nights were nearly sleepless for Eddie and Jamie. Thankfully, April managed to sleep through most of the high pitched screaming fits. After three occurrences, Eddie made an appointment with the doctor to find out what was causing this problem with little Max. From her reading, it seemed he was indeed having "night terrors" not nightmares. Max was unphased by these episodes, it was Jamie, April, and especially Eddie that were shaken to the core from the boy's inconsolable cries.

Eddie held Max on her lap while they waited to be called. Jamie was reading magazines about child development while Max played with one of the toys and talked to her about what he was doing. "Swish…" he declared and pushed the little balls around the wires. He didn't know anything was even amiss.

"Max," the nurse called him back. Eddie held Max's hand as they walked to the back with Jamie right behind. Max was weighted and measured, he was a touch tall for his age and a perfect weight. The rest of the physical was gentle and quick he wasn't sick, Eddie and Jamie were at their wit's end.

"He just screams and shakes," Eddie told the doctor when he asked about what they were witnessing with Max at night. "He's so rigid I can hardly lift him. Nothing we do helps, we can't make him stop."

"You rarely can with a night terror," the doctor replied. "And often there is no real cause, they will run their course. They are more upsetting to you than they are to him."

Eddie stroked Max's hair, "His little heart is pounds, he sweats and he wets his bed. He's trained perfectly, but this makes him pee."

"Well, the first step is to determine if he has a medical condition contributing to this," the doctor replied. "That means a sleep study, which we can try to do at home, but otherwise we'll need to refer him to a clinic. We are looking for sleep apnea, heart disturbances, things that could upset his sleep. If that's all clear, it could be related to trauma, but usually it just happens and as quickly as it comes, it goes. Protect him but don't restrain him, as hard as it might be, don't hold him."

Reflexively, Eddie held Max tighter, "Don't hold my baby when he's screaming in fear? Really?"

"I don't see how isolating him from us, especially Eddie, is going to help keep him calm and settled,' Jamie broke in. It would be hard on Max and even harder on Eddie to just let him cry. "Are we harming him by holding him?"

"It might make him more agitated. When he settles down, if you need to hold him, or you sense he needs it, then hold him, but wait until he settles down. It will get better, it really will."

Jamie and Eddie took Max to make the arrangements for the sleep study. She was reconsidering New Orleans for Kara and Luke's wedding if her baby boy was still suffering so badly, but until they had some kind of idea, she wouldn't say anything. They had a little bit of time left to help Max better. Hopefully the study found it was something simple and correctable, like bad adenoids or tonsils. She'd feel better then, they both would.

Jamie and Eddie picked April up from her daycare, then headed home with the monitors they were going to use on Max. Both kids went off to play while Jamie and Eddie fixed supper

"What's bothering me the most is them saying we aren't supposed to hold him anymore when he does it, just let him cry and wait. Jamie I don't know if I can do that."

"We have to try, if it's best for him," Jamie sighed. "If he's not settling, then we have to use our instincts."

"Did I make him suffer by doing this?" Eddie asked. "Did I hurt my baby by trying to comfort him?"

Jamie pulled her close and held her, "You did what we both thought was right for him. And it might still be right for him. Let's see how he does tonight. Right now, he's happy and smiling, our perfect little guy. Let's get them some dinner, we'll stick to their routine and see how he makes out. It'll be okay."

Eddie was grateful for Jamie's reassurance and Max's. He came into the kitchen with one of his trucks, the ladder portion had gone off the track. "Fiss it, peas," he asked Jamie who was happy to oblige him. Eddie's eye misted over, thinking of Max's bedtime that night.

April went right down. Max fussed a bit about the testing equipment, seeing it as a toy, rather than something he needed. "Mommom, toy?" "No, buddy, you go sleepy in that. Give kisses."

Max wasn't sure eyeing the machine then reached both hands up for hugs. "Mommom, Daddy stay with Max?" He was scared to lay down alone.

"No, Buddy,' Jamie soothed softly. "You're a big boy. You can go to the bed like a big boy. One more story?" he offered as a compromise.

Max nodded taking what he could get. He lay down pulling his bear closer watching Jamie pick out a book.

Eddie laid next to Max on the bed and rubbed his small legs and feet, something she did when he was sick in the hospital last year. He was asleep before Jamie read half the book. "Now we wait,' Eddie sighed. "Within in two hours..." Jamie kissed her head. "Maybe he won't tonight, maybe it's going to pass."

He looped an arm around Eddie watching max fall into a deeper sleep holding her withheld breath hoping Max would be okay.

The news had just ended when the screams started. They still shot to Max's room like it was the first time. Once again, he was sitting in his bed, screaming his heart out, shaking and soaked to the skin. Eddie's instincts demanded she go and hold the boy. Screw the doctors!

Knowing how hard it was for her, Jamie held Eddie back. He wanted to hold his son just as badly as she did, but if this was best…"Max, it's okay buddy." Jamie sighed

Eddie fought his hold, she wanted to go and grab her boy and hold him. Jamie felt her body shake with sobs. Jamie's own tears wet her hair. Max kicked his legs, swatted at the air, stared as if dead toward the wall then after five agonizing minutes, Max laid still and dropped back in his bed, sound asleep once more.

Jamie let Eddie go and sat on the bed beside his son brushing a gentle hand through his hair. He looked up at Eddie with a sad look

"Is he wet?" she asked. Jamie nodded, "I'll change him." While they were working on Max's diaper, April came in. "Mommy, I scared...Max crying..." she wiped her face and reached for Eddie, a surprise. She typically went to Jamie while Max preferred Eddie in times of fear.

"Oh, I know honey Mommy and Daddy are right here and Max is okay. He had a bad dream..." Jamie checked max rocking him as he changed the wet diaper.

"Do lots," she told them and arched her eye brow. "I seep Max." April headed for her brother's bed, but with the dreams having her small form there was too risky.

"I'm happy you want to help your brother honey but he has to sleep all by himself," Eddie kissed April's head. "Go to sleep on Mommy."

It was 1am and both kids were back to sleep. That night Max slept the rest of the night in peace and three of the following nights. Eddie wasn't surprised when the doctor said he was fine, there was no sleep apnea or anything that was the cause. She was just about ready to accept that until he suffered his most intense night terror, the following night, lasting over a half hour...that was it. "I'm going to take him to Children's hospital, he's going to a specialist, the best in New York."

"Yeah we have to find out what's going on. I'll come with you, Dad can watch April for a bit." Jamie agreed getting more worried every day that passed.

Eddie used Tom's name and reputation to get Max a quick appointment. It was going to be expensive, but she didn't' care and for the first time in a while, neither did Jamie. He balked about the hotel for Kara's wedding, he balked about a plumber, even argued with her, but this...he supported, a testament to his concern.

Frank was more than happy to watch April while Jamie and Eddie took Max to see the specialist. Eddie had Max on her lap hugging him while they waited.

The tests results were examined, along with video of Max while he slept. "Unfortunately, at his age, there's not much we can do. It's not medical, and he's very young so the likelihood of it being stress induced isn't there. They do run their course, they are scary for you, more than him, but it will stop. I do have some tips."

"So, what is causing them exactly," Jamie asked wanting a clear matter of fact reason why this was happening. Max played quietly perfectly content.

"The answer is, we don't know. Some children experience these fits of fear and others don't. He's medically fine, so that's not the reason, I'd suggest a calmer bedtime routine, perhaps stopping active play two hours before bedtime. Extend his reading and cuddle time, then about ten minutes before he usually has the terror, wake him, let him see you, then let him go back to sleep. That disruption can often fool his brain and he won't' experience a terror."

Jamie sighed but nodded. "Thank you doctor we'll try that." Jamie glanced at Max, smiling at his son. At the same time Max looked up and smiled that sweet smile back at his father.


	150. Chapter 150

Chapter One Hundred Fifty

Over the next several days, they tried changing Max's routine and disrupting his sleep. He would look so confused when Jamie or Eddie woke him for one stronger hug and kiss, but it seemed to be working. They kept their fingers crossed as New Orleans approached.

"Don't you have to talk to Jamie about this?" Kara asked as she and Eddie made arrangements for the private plane that would fly them to New Orleans. "Luke has some issues with you footing the bill, but he settled when I told him we were paying the bar bill and that between you and Jamie you could drink an entire football team under the table."

"We can, and I hear they have some fabulous places and crazy drinks down there too," Eddie replied. "Jamie doesn't like that I spend money, but he hates to talk about it too, so I try not to do it too often. I know eventually I'll have to break it down for him but even I don't know the net worth yet, the accountants are still working on it."

"Well, I appreciate it," Kara replied. "You know last week I thought we were going to be cancelling the wedding."

"What!" Eddie gasped. "You didn't tell me that, what happened?"

"Matt," Kara sighed. "Matt decided that he still loved me. So, he comes to the house, starts all this crap about not taking the boys for the weekend because he can't sanction the marriage. He just has to make things hard."

"He just realized what he lost, I do hope he finds happiness someday," Eddie replied and yawned.

"You still having trouble with Max?" Kara asked as she saw Eddie yawn. "And the night terrors?"

"He's been doing better. He has maybe one a week now with the sleep interruption technique. We get him up about 75 minutes after her falls asleep. I take him to the potty and then we sit in the rocker for five minutes. He goes out and most nights that's all it takes. Last night, though was a rough night."

"Alex had bad night terrors," Kara replied. "And it was definitely harder on us than on him. It turned out he was being picked on at day care, poked by other kids and things and it stressed him out. The doctors told us we don't know, we have no idea…"

"I think in my heart, it has something to do with his lacking a mother's love when he was really little. I do my best now but..." Eddie sighed. "We have him seeing the specialist, he goes in for a formal study when we get back."

"He'll do fine, you are an amazing friend and a better mother, you and Jamie will see him through," Kara smiled. "If you can't do this…"

"Oh, no,' Eddie replied. "We talked to Danny and Linda and they are going to keep both kids. This is your wedding to your soulmate, you bet Luke's cowboy boots we're going to be there."

Kara gave Eddie a hug, "I'm hungry…let's get some lunch!"

Eddie was always up for that.

"So, other than your Matt issues, how's everything going?" Eddie asked. "I feel like between work, the kids, planning two weddings, we never get to the good stuff."

Kara laughed, "If memory serves me, you and Jamie experience plenty of the good stuff."

Eddie shrugged, "Not lately. With Max waking up so much, Jamie's exhausted, I'm exhausted…New Orleans is going to be a nice break for us too. We manage as best we can, but it's changed a bit with us living together. In some ways, it's better, it's much better, the connection, but the amount of times is a little…"

Kara nodded and heavily blushed. "It's a quality verses quantity thing with me and Luke too," Kara replied. "He won't stay at my house, he insists on going home at night, says that cohabitating isn't good for the boys until we are married and he just won't bend, but, Eddie, swear you won't gab to anyone on this, not even Jamie?"

Eddie smiled, "My lips are sealed."

"Luke likes to play around in the bedroom," Kara confessed. "And I don't mean tickle or chase, I mean really play. The first time he did it I thought he lost his mind. I came home…"

 **Kara stepped into the bedroom, after waiting the few minutes Luke asked her to wait. It was Matt's weekend with the boys, so they had time for themselves. Along the foot of the queen size Victorian bed was an old saloon girl outfit. Kara looked at the dress, red silk with feathers adorning the collar and skirt. In the corner of the room, Luke was dressed as an old west marshal. "Let me guess," Kara smiled. "Marshall Dillon and Miss Kitty?"**

 **Luke smiled, "Could be…"**

 **He stepped closer to Kara…"Slip it on…" He pulled her closer for a stirring kiss. "Then I'll slip it off."**

 **Kara obliged him and put on the costume. She had never done anything like this before, but it was rather intriguing. She stepped out of the bathroom in the dress, the faint light of the room captured her beauty. Luke licked his lips. "How about a drink?"**

"We role played for like a half an hour," Kara replied. "So far we've done the Old West, Pirates, and a race car driver that just won the Indie500. It's very exciting, it spices up the usual sex and you connect to different parts of each other. Luke's inner hero, his dangerous side, and the thrill seeker. Did you know he's been on every major roller coaster on the West Coast, from the eastern end of Montana down the tip of California?"

"No, but that is cool!" Eddie's head was turning. She had thought of exploring fantasy when she was married to Tom, but since her main fantasy was Jamie she was too scared to do that. Now though, it might just add the right amount of spice to her love life with Jamie. She remembered his fascination with Star Wars…that's what she would do…that would be perfect.

After lunch, Eddie went to the theater shop to rent a Princess Leia costume. Jamie was a huge fan of Star Wars and she always loved the costume Princess Leia wore, it was her favorite in all of the movies. Jamie would make a dashing Hans Solo. She called Anita to come for the kids, then set her hair in a long spiral braid, she completed the ensemble with the red bikini bra and long skirt with super high slits. No white outfit for this fantasy. She hoped he didn't think this was too out there, but their active sex life could always use a bit of spice.

When Jamie came home, the lights were down, and clips of Stars Wars movie were looping on the TV. Jamie's costume was lying on the sofa with a note, "Put me on and come to the bedroom."

Jamie laughed, Eddie was up to something mischievous and he was intrigued to see what it was. He slid on the white costume and followed her instructions, walking into the dimly lit bedroom. Eddie was lying on the bed with a tray of champagne and strawberries, one leg bent at the knee revealing to his sight the jewels of her body.

Jamie was intrigued by this new idea and found himself anticipating what was going to come next. Would she go all the way with this fantasy?

Jamie closed the gap between them, a little more self-conscious than Eddie. Wordlessly, Eddie mocked feeding Jamie a bite, then took one herself. With the berry still in her teeth, she kissed him long and deep, her tongue pushing the berry into his mouth. She pulled back to let him swallow the treat along with her essence.

"Tease," Jamie whispered nibbling at her ear lobe. "What got into you Eddie?"

"Who?" she arched her eyebrow, then laid back baring her stomach to his view. Jamie laughed and offered a wry smile.

She was insatiable. As soon as he moved to lie over her body, she turned so that she was on top of him, instantly taking control of the situation. Jamie wondered why she rented the costumes in the first place as she pulled the shirt apart and exposed his chest to her view. His breath came in short gasps and his eyes glazed over as her soft lips ran a line of kisses from his throat to his naval. He felt her small hands work the button on the pants. He lifted his hips to help her remove the clothing and reveal his throbbing sex.

She licked her lips, "Is that your light saber or are you just happy to see me?"

He laughed, a deep, throaty chuckled and tried to gain control of the situation. She dodged him, not allowing him to take over. On her knees she pulled off the slit skirt until she was clad only in the bikini undies and bra. She straddled him and worked the bra off with both hands, letting her bosom fall out of the restraint into his waiting hands. She dropped her head, arching her back as he massaged her breasts in handfuls. She was already throbbing for him, and he was ready for her, it was obvious.

She dropped down so her chest and his were pressed together, dress rehearsal for their joining. His warm, strong hands came behind her and pushed the red bikini panties off, they were both equally exposed to the other. He couldn't take much more, his pulse throbbed in his ears. Her small hands cupped him, as she tugged just a bit eliciting a strong moan of pleasure and pain. "Eddie, please…please…"

"Who?" Eddie panted again, not breaking character and eye contact.

"Oh…" Jamie moaned again as she drew her legs over him. She took part of him, but not all, her trademark move. "Oh, God…Oh…Oh…Uh…" He could hardly control himself.

She secretly loved it. This game definitely added to their special connection, it made them hungrier and offered a means of escape. "I got you, baby," Eddie gasped. "I got you…come…come home to me."

She raised her hips up completely off of him, then plunged herself down, taking all of him into her body. They both cried out, his a guttural moan, her a higher pitched screech. She felt his warm life force spilling into her body, filling her as she rode him with wild abandon. Her own climax came seconds after his, the walls of her delicate sex clamping down, drawing the last drop from him.

She rolled off of him and to his side, but he didn't pull her close. He laid still, one arm over his eyes, the other dangling off the end of the bed. She looked at him, this was a first, he didn't instantly hold her. His breathing hadn't slowed down yet, he was still and silent until she prodded, "Jamie?"

"Can't move," he panted. "Can't see…" He was in total awe of what happened here, all he knew was that he had never had a sexual experience quite like that one. There might be something to this costume thing.

Eddie bit her lip to keep from laughing. He looked so tortured but enraptured at the same time. She had ravished him and he knew it. When he finally did move, he pulled her to his side and until the spiral ponytail from her hair "Don't tie this back anymore…I like it all around us."

Eddie smiled at the command in his voice, she liked that. She tossed her hair so it splayed around them. Jamie kissed her head, "This was something else, Princess. I never…I only have six words for this experience…May the force be with you."

They were going to leave early the next afternoon. Eddie came home with her dress to find Jamie playing with the kids. He was wrestling with them, flying them over his body. They were gigging and crawling on him, happy children.

Eddie took her phone out of her purse and snapped a picture before letting them know she was home. They were going to have hot dogs and ice cream, some family time, before Jamie and Eddie headed for New Orleans. Kara and Luke were doing the same thing.

"Mommom!" Max went right for Eddie. April stood up and fixed herself first before going to give her mother a hug.

"Hey, guys! You were having fun with Daddy, hmm?" Eddie asked as Jamie got to his feet. He came over and gave her a kiss hello. "We were playing and waiting for you to come home to go get dinner."

"Okay, well let me hang up my dress for the wedding and we'll go," Eddie smiled. She put the gown in the bedroom with the other bags then helped the kids with their shoes. Max and April held hands in front of their parents, walking with deliberate intent. They drew stares everywhere they went. People loved to watch them. Max and April appeared to many of the onlookers to be twins and Jamie and Eddie a happily married couple. Soon they would be.

Eddie helped the kids with their dinner along with Jamie, then they shared some ice cream before going back home. Bedtime was done in the similar calm routine they had developed for Max. A rock, a bath, another rock, and a story. He did better with more contact before going to sleep. Eddie was still convinced that there was an underlying cause and would pursue that idea until she found out what it was. "I hope he's okay," Eddie told Jamie as they packed their things for their trip. "Maybe we should bring him with us, you know?"

"How, he'd need a ticket," Jamie replied.

"No. Number one he's under three and number two we're taking a jet," Eddie replied. "I got Andy to fly us there and back so we can bring him if we wanted to."

"Do you want to?" Jamie asked biting back his feeling about the jet. This was not the time, Eddie was already on edge. He had to get used to her spending money.

"No, I want this time with you, but my mother's heart just…aches when he gets upset," Eddie sighed. "We'll just tell Danny and Linda the routine and since we have the jet if I have to wing home and get him I will."

Jamie shook his head and bit his lip, this kind of extravagance was foreign and unsettling.

"You two be very good for Uncle Danny and Auntie Linda,' Eddie told the babies as they were picked up the next morning. "Mommom loves you very much. Do you have the calendar that we made for you?"

"Yes, Mommy home here," April pointed to the date circled in red. Max was crying, he didn't want Eddie and Jamie to go. He held Eddie's leg with all his might.

Eddie took Max on her lap, "Mommom loves you so much, my Max. You have fun, you can play games and make me a picture of what you did that day. Doesn't that sound nice? We'll call you every day."

Max settled down with Eddie's calm assurances. "If he does have a night terror," Eddie began again.

"Sean had them," Linda assured her. "It's okay, you're worried, any mother would be. I'll take care of them like they were my own."

Eddie smiled at Linda, then spied Kara and Luke approaching them in the private airport terminal. Danny's ribbing of Jamie didn't help his feelings about taking this plane. "Mrs. Daddy Warbucks really went all out?" he teased.

"I know," Jamie rolled his eyes. "Over the top and it's so uncomfortable. We're a normal family, we don't fly on private jets."

Kara and Luke seemed to be pretty happy with the jet idea, but as they boarded Eddie realized Jamie was brooding. "What's wrong?" she asked as they buckled their belts. "Thinking about Pop?" The last time they were on a jet, it was after Henry's stroke.

"No," Jamie replied. "It's this…"

"This?" Eddie asked. "You mean the jet?"

"I mean the whole wedding. I don't know how Kara and Luke are okay with you spending so much money," Jamie whispered, but his tone had an edge.

"They are going to buy the meals and the drinks and all that, plus it's my best friend's wedding to her soulmate and I want her to have something special. I want it to be perfect for her and Luke, just like I want our wedding to be perfect."

"After seeing this, I'm scared to see what's going to become of our wedding," Jamie replied. "I don't like this, all this spending of Tom's money. It's Tom's money."

Eddie straightened her back, "It's not Tom's money, it's my money now, which makes it our money. Anything I have is yours too, you just aren't comfortable with that idea yet. Besides, our wedding won't be so extravagant because we're not extravagant. Kara always liked flashy things and there is nothing wrong with that."

Jamie bit his lip, he didn't want to fight with Eddie and ruin Kara and Luke's wedding. "Do what you want, you always do…"

That hurt, but Eddie too, did not want to ruin the time with their friends. They deserved this day. "We'll discuss this later," she replied. "This is their time."

Jamie agreed but it was clear to him that Eddie was upset with him and clear to her that he was upset with her. Still, they settled back into their chairs as Kara and Luke stopped their kissing and moved closer to map out the itinerary. Jamie would try to let things go…but this money was going to be an issue, it just was.


	151. Chapter 151

Chapter One Hundred Fifty One

Eddie and Kara headed for the dance floor, leaving Luke and Jamie at the table. Neither one of them were big on dancing. Eddie dipped and shook her ample breasts. One man, saw her bosom scrape the top her bra. "Beads!" he shouted and tossed them at Eddie.

Eddie caught them putting them on dancing close to Kara. "That Tropical Hurricane was a pretty good drink, maybe they have those at the restaurant we're going to after the ceremony?" Kara smiled.

"Yeah, it was really good I can look it up later. I can't wait until we're husband and wife," Kara smiled.

"Whoa! Eddie's showing some skin!" Luke pointed to Eddie shaking her stuff.

"Life of the party," Jamie laughed but kept his eye on it.

After three dances, they headed to the table to order. Jamie nursed his drink while the other three let theirs slide down easily. It was sweet and fruity, not strong at all. They picked on the food a variety of Cajun delicacies most with hot spices. Eddie happily enjoyed hers taking a bit of everything while Jamie was more selective after trying one that set his mouth on fire.

A second round of hurricanes enhance the magical flavors and colors of the day. "You all right there Jamie?" Eddie grinned slowly sipping her drink.

"A little hot," Jamie smiled. "But very good. Here try this crawfish, it's lemon pepper."

Eddie grinned, "It's really good." She took a bite with a little hurricane.

Jamie didn't handle the spice, he excused himself to the bathroom. Eddie smiled at her friends across the table taking another piece. "How about you guys? Are you enjoying it?"

The other three were enjoying their food and drink. Eddie leaned back in her chair and finished her drink. Her favorite song came on and she stood up..."Dance!" Kara gladly joined, her setting the drink down and starting to the floor with her friend. Luke laughed letting them go wanting to finish.

Luke saw how tipsy both girls were but he was three sheets to the wind himself. Kara leapt off the bar but Eddie kept going. She leaned down and totally flashed the bar tender. She now sported sixteen strands of beads. That's how Jamie found them when he came out from the bathroom. Shaking his head he headed to the bar to get Eddie down.

He couldn't stop laughing at her. She was having so much fun and it was obvious that she was the life of the party. Still, her assets were for his eyes only and he wanted to be sure that it stayed that way.

Jamie stood back a few moments and looked at Eddie. Her body moving gracefully, sets of beads flying as she shook her stuff.

Jamie approached the bar where she was dancing. He pushed his way through, having to throw a few elbows to get close enough. He ignored the protests of the other men worshipping Eddie's dance. "Eddie, come on, honey,' Jamie called to her and held her arms out to her.

Eddie spied her Jamie standing before her smiling ear to ear. He was enjoying the sight of her that was pretty clear by his outstretched arms. She dropped freestyle into his grasp and flung her arms around his neck, the drink had made her just tipsy enough to be giggly and free of any inhibition. When she fell into his arms, one of her breasts popped out of her bra, exposing her to everyone's view. This earned her ten more strands of beads for her trouble.

"Woooo..." Jamie quickly righted the shirt. Eddie was stumbling along with Jamie, holding onto him, inhaling his scent and thinking of what she wanted to do with him back at the hotel.

"Hey, that's our show!" one of the men protested.

"She's smoking hot!" another piped up. "She's having fun, let her have fun!"

"Come one, sweetheart," Jamie sighed. "Come on…"

More beads flew at them as Jamie gathered her over his shoulder. Eddie was laughing, kicking her legs, not sure if she wanted to break free or just have a good time. "Hey, man! Let her go!"

Luke pushed through the door first, Jamie was right behind him with Eddie over his shoulder. He had to elbow his way out of the bar as beads continued to fly to him. Jamie called an Uber with his three charges including beads, discarded shoes, and purses.

Eddie lay all over him in the Uber, and her attempt to stand once they arrived back at the hotel failed. She stumbled and was caught by Jamie. They pulled up to the hotel. Luke was already getting sick to his stomach and Kara was falling asleep. Eddie was unruly. Sighing, but with a smile, Jamie lifted Eddie turning to Luke. "You good to walk in?"

He nodded holding Kara's arm, though he was helpless himself in finding the elevator or the room. Jamie made sure they located the correct door, then fireman's carried Eddie to their own room. "Where's my shoe. I need to have my shoe, it's my shoe!"

"I have it honey don't worry let's get you to bed," Jamie attempted to comfort her, in reality he had no idea where the shoe was.

"No I want my shoe!" She demanded "Give me my shoe."

As he wrestled her into the room, a shoe flashed by his head. Somehow, he didn't want to know how, Kara ended up with Eddie left shoe in her purse. It nearly took his head off.

Jamie got Eddie into the bedroom and deposited her on the bed. "Lie down," he advised. "You need to get your rest. Those drinks hit you pretty hard."

"Drinks…" she giggled. "Those were good…"

"Yes," Jamie nodded. "They looked good. I'll get your robe and you lie down."

Jamie went to the bathroom to get Eddie's robe. She saw dozens of strands of beads hanging from her neck and tossed on the bed. Eddie gathered up the pretty colored items and disappeared into the walk-in closet. She hung the multi-colored strands on the hook and sat down, suddenly dizzy. She plopped on the carpeted floor and sat Indian style watching the light reflect off the beads.

Jamie returned from the bathroom with aspirin, water, and Eddie's jammies only to find the space he left her to wait not unoccupied. "Eddie?" Jamie called. 'She was right there, where did she get off to? "Eddie, come out, come out wherever you are."

Jamie looked under the bed, out in the hallway, even in the living area. He was about to call down to the lobby when he heard giggling in the closet. "Eddie, are you in there?"

Jamie pushed the closet door open to see Eddie looking up at him, cross legged. "Eddie, you were supposed to be on the bed."

"I like the closet better," Eddie replied. "Come on handsome, you like closets too. You like me in closets!"

Eddie got to her feet and shook her hips a bit, pulling the edge of her skirt up her legs. She teased Jamie as she had the men in the bar, shaking her hips and working her chest.

It was clear to Jamie what Eddie wanted from him, he didn't' want to take advantage of her, but the more she came at him and onto him, slowly and with deliberate intent, removing her clothing, it was clear to him that she was in control enough to realize she was seducing him. And he was going to let her.

He decided this with the help of his body and the lacy bra that hit him as Eddie took it off.

Eddie noticed his slight hesitation, she started by tickling his sides. She knew that would bring him to his knees. When Jamie dropped to the floor, Eddie followed. She was naked now, showing her body to him. Their lips met in a heated exchange. Jamie liked frisky Eddie, she was looking so beautiful, cheeks lightly flushed, and body so willing, it was hard to resist. Eddie was raining kisses over his cheeks, her hands pawing at him, pulling off his tee shirt and boxer shorts.

Jamie's body was betraying his mind. Eddie's hands were all over him, caressing him. She was giggling at him, then stopping and tasted him, swirling her tongue inside his mouth. She pulled back and held his gaze. There was no denying what she saw there or what was reflected in her own.

"I need you, Jamie…I love you so much. I need you…" Eddie cried. She pouted when he still didn't touch her. She captured his hand and rubbed it along her center. He could feel the heat through her silk panties and came undone as her lips came up to catch his.

What happened next was just a haze. Jamie felt Eddie guiding his throbbing member into her. The liquor did little to diminish her appetite for him. She opened her eyes and locked onto him. Their souls connected on a desperate level each time made love. . "Oh…" Eddie moaned as Jamie leaned in closer, giving into his urges and her whispered pleas. He could not deny her his physical or emotional love. Not ever.

The New Orleans night was hot and sticky. Jamie positioned himself to take her body as she begged him, "Now…oh, I need you now!"

Her frenzied movements and gasped pleas came around fits of alcohol induced giggles. Still, Jamie felt his body ruling him. He leaned over her body, holding her still with gentle hands, sinking into her repeatedly. He muffled her cries with his lips enjoying the taste of her Tropical hurricane as his tongue swirled inside her mouth.

Her climax was fast and explosive, Jamie following immediately as he spilled into her body, joining them once more…She was nearly asleep when it was over, except for whispers of love.

Jamie woke up on the closet floor to Eddie tossing clothes around him. It was hot and she didn't want to be sticky and gross walking around. Jamie expected her to get sick and to be nursing a headache. "Eddie you're up already? How do you feel?" he sat up watching her for a minute expecting her face to be pale with sickness but her blue eyes sparkled.

"Good," she replied. "Really energized but I need to find something cool to wear. I was outside for breakfast and it's so hot. You snored."

Finally getting to his feet Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie and kissed her. "How long have you been up," he asked surprised.

"An hour," Eddie replied. "You were sawing wood so loud the dead woke up." They were just down the street from an old cemetery, Eddie giggling at her own joke.

"You are still not funny Janko," Jamie couldn't help but grin at her though. "You're feeling all right though?"

"I had a headache, but I remembered Pop said two aspirin and a shot and he was right," Eddie smiled and gave him a kiss. "Go brush sleepy head. "Jamie stood a second later staring in marveled surprise after all she drank last night that Eddie wasn't the least bit hung over. He on the other hand was tired.

Kara was wearing dark sunglasses to cope with the light and her own hang over. "Okay how are you this happy when you were drunk?

"Good metabolism," Eddie grinned at her friend. "Pop Jamie's grandfather gave me advice aspirin with a shot."

"Fight liquor with more liquor..."Luke pondered that. "Nice. So, what is first?"

"There's so much to do here what do you guys feel like doing? Seeing the sights, shopping, swimming?"

"We have to do some shopping," Kara piped up. "But let's go sightseeing for now. And street food, lots of street food. "Eddie agreed food and shopping sounded good to her. She looped an arm through Jamie's…Luke took Kara's hand and they walked out together.

They hit the aquarium first, Kara and Eddie we're excited over the penguins. Luke and Jamie followed their women smiling quietly as they entered the penguin exhibit.

"Look at how cute they are!" Eddie gushed. "Seeing penguins today is perfect timing for us because they mate for life."

Jamie moved an arm around her kissing Eddie's head. Beside them Kara looked up at Luke smiling as she leaned against him.

"This would be the perfect venue!" Kara gushed. "It will be so cute to get married here. What do you guys think?"

Eddie smiled, "imagine having those little guys in the background of your wedding pics?"

Luke was an animal lover, "That would be nice but be awfully short notice and very expensive."

Seeing the excitement on Kara's face...Eddie was already formulating a plan, money was no object.

"Excuse me," Eddie smiled. "I'll be right back." Jamie watched Eddie quietly shaking his head at her.

Eddie found the general manager of the aquarium and spoke to him with great urgency. "My friend and her fiancé, both NYPD, want to get married here in or around the penguin habitat. Money is no object for this...but is it even possible for this to happen tomorrow night after you close." Eddie hoped her powers of persuasion were working.

She gave a small nod, "I think we can arrange that. Let me check the calendar and we can plan something. I will give you an estimated cost."

"It's a Wednesday," Eddie reminded her. "Shouldn't be an issue."

The manager looked through her calendar, "Okay, we have a few slots open depending if you prefer an early or late wedding." She crunched some numbers for Eddie.

"It's an evening wedding, very intimate. We already have an officiant and a place to celebrate. Penguins mate for life just like my friends want to do." The manager smiled, "We can do seven if that's good for you and your friends."

"Seven is perfect" Eddie smiled. "Just let me know the amount and I'll get you the check. You can verify it at my bank."

She hurried back to Kara, "I saw the manager and if you to want to get married here, then you can and you can do it the exact time you planned." Eddie was beaming. She wanted them to have their dreams

"How much though? I'm guessing it's going to be really expensive and pretty close to the date."

"It's an off day," Eddie replied. "I negotiated with them so if you want this it's yours."

Jamie sighed shaking his head waiting until later when they were in the privacy of their room to discuss the situation.

They got street food and smoothies, Kara and Eddie chatting about the wedding. When they went to change for dinner, Jamie looked at her, Jamie sighed shaking his head. "Eddie, I just this whole money situation…you are throwing it around like nothing."

"That's not what I'm doing Jamie I want to make sure that my friends have a wedding they'll remember it's supposed to be a night you start your lives together after all."

"Yes, and they chose to elope," Jamie replied. "That means they want something simple and understated. Now it's costing how much money?" Jamie asked. "Since you married Tom you've been tossing money around left and right. I understood it when you were married, living with him, but now it's us, you and I... and we don't' live like this!"

"They want to do this," Eddie insisted. "Kara found her soulmate just like we did, I want to do this, it should not be an issue."

"Yes, but..." Jamie sighed. "What does this mean for us, for our marriage?" Jamie asked. "Is it always going to be like this? Money to solve everything, instant gratification? What about how we're raising Max and April."

"It won't affect them, it's not something for every day, and it's for special things like this for Kara and Luke." Eddie shook her head at him.

"It's not what I want for our family! I don't live that way, I don't want to live that way," Jamie replied.

"Okay so what do you want then Jamie? Tell me what you want? Do you not want to help friends and family if we can?"

"Not like this. If they were sick or losing their house, that's the time you step in. This is flaunting it, you are better than that! That's not you!" Jamie's voice was raising and Eddie was shocked. Jamie's voice was thundering with anger and another emotion Eddie couldn't identify.

Eddie stared at him angry and hurt in a way she never felt around Jamie. "I'm not trying to flaunt it Jamie. I'm trying to give my friends a nice wedding they don't have to know how much!" Eddie spun on her heels slamming the bathroom door shut

Jamie sighed, "That's right, go hide away and run from the issue," he grouched flopping on the bed. He had no intention of apologizing.

In the bathroom Eddie sat on the seat putting her head down angry at Jamie for accusing her, tears flowing down her face.

How dare he say she flaunted her money? They had Tom's estate, it was theirs, not just hers. They could spend it as they liked. She was not going to ruin this time for Kara and Luke. She took a breath and started to get ready for dinner.

Jamie too started getting ready a chill now in the air. He didn't say a word to Eddie hearing the bathroom door open when Eddie finished.

"Jamie," Eddie spoke first. 'Look at me, please. I need to talk to you."

Sighing Jamie turned facing her fixing his shirt as he did.

"This is Kara and Luke's time, their special day, and I don't want our tensions to ruin it. I'd like to put this behind us...I know you didn't mean to call your daughter spoiled. It's your Irish pride."

"I just don't like all the money being thrown around Eddie. I don't want to ruin their day either but ever since you got the money from tom..."

"I don't even know how much there's going to be," Eddie replied. "Luke is going to pay some of this, but I told the manager to use my check for the rest. I don't want them to know it's as much as it is. Kara was in a loveless marriage like we were, and Luke...he suffered enough. Let's make this happy and let's enjoy our time together..."

Jamie sighed quietly getting nowhere with her. "Fine I'm going to start getting ready for dinner." he walked past her into the bathroom.

"Jamie...Let' make this up, please," Eddie asked. "Let's please make this up. I'm sorry you feel like you do, I don't want you to be angry..."

Jamie stepped out of the bathroom, "Eddie I love you so much you know that. I just feel like things have changed but tonight let's have fun okay?"

Eddie smiled, "We can work things out later, and I do love you, too. We aren't going to always agree on everything."

"No, no we aren't," Jamie replied. This was eating at him for a long time, and a little venting wasn't going to stop those feelings. Still, it wasn't about them right now, it was about Kara and Luke and the happiness they deserved. If Eddie wanted to spend the money to fly Kara's boys and Luke's sister in and have the wedding at the aquarium, so be it. He just didn't want to be part of it.

Eddie sighed, "Finish dressing, we're meeting them for the concert in a half hour."


	152. Chapter 152

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Two

Back in New York, Danny and Linda had their hands full with the toddlers. Max hadn't had any night terrors but he did have a tough time falling asleep without Eddie. April, well, she was a willful child and liked to show off her big brain.

Max kept his eyes on the doors while playing with toys April playing only a few feet away. "Maxy doggie." She handed him the toy dog.

Linda smiled at them, April was smart as a whip, but her heart went out to Max. Linda was exhausted after two nights of rocking the boy for hours.

Max took the dog from his sister, handing her an elephant. When April got up, Max stood too following her.

"You wouldn't know that he's six months older," Jack commented to his mother. "He's following her around the house."

"Think he feels comfortable around her," Linda agreed watching max reaching a hand out. "April."

April made up a game and soon she and Max we're twirling. "Can I take them to play at the park?"

"Sure, just make sure you keep a close eye on them Jack they can wander off in a split second," Linda warned.

Danny came home just as they were preparing to leave. "Whoa whoa where are you going?"

"I'm taking the kids to the park so they can play outside for a bit," Jack told him.

"Hold their hands," Danny warned. "Max will stay but April is inquiring all the time like Uncle Jamie "

"Yes dad," Jack sighed opening the door then taking max and April's hands.

They kids kicked a ball and ran around the park. Jack's crush was down there with her little sister. "See," he said. "Told you I liked kids"

"They're cute, she's so pretty," the girl replied. "And I would kill for his hair."

While Jack was talking, April came down off the slide clapping while looking for Max. Seeing he was on the other side by the climbing rope April walked around hiding underneath with a giggle.

Jack was busy trying to impress the girls and didn't see her slip away. Max was in his sight but not April. "Oh crap!"

"What happened Jack?" the girl followed his vision. Max was trying to climb up the rope his leg tangled using his other to kick.

"She took off someplace, she was right here!" Jack replied, his heart pounding. His parents would kill him for losing April. He looked at Max, "Max, where did April go?" He asked. "Where's April?"

Max looked up at his cousin and put both his hands up, "Where April?" he echoed.

"Yes, where is April!" Jack was frantic. "You are glued to her all-day kid. How do you not know?"

Max looked around kicking his foot to get loose stumbling. "April..." Jack's tone was scaring him and making him want his mother. "Mommom April?"

Jack pulled out his phone to call his own mother, she was going to kill him.

Max pointed at the air, "April no gone," he pouted bottom lip quivering. He missed his parents, now his sissy wasn't there either. April, even younger, was the independent one, Max likes his structure and his security. He began to wail.

Danny was at the park in minutes "I'm talking to you later." He warned Jack, then secured Max in his arms. "It's okay, big guy. Uncle Danny will find her and make is all better. Did you see April run?"

Max kept crying and hid his face in his uncle's jacket. Danny glared at Jack, "What did we say about watching these kids? What did your mother tell you about them running off?"

"Dad I watched her! I swear she was on the slide and Max was climbing, next thing I knew she was gone!"

"Well you didn't watch her close enough!" Danny yelled scaring Max. He held the crying boy closer and rubbed his back, anything could have happened to her. Danny pulled out his phone to call for help searching for the missing child then he heard it. "Giggle giggle."

He hung up the phone and followed the sound to the little space under the slide where April hid. He put the phone down walking over toward the sounds of the giggles and looked under the slide. Max pointed a finger, "April."

"What were you doing?" Danny asked pulling out. "April, no no. That wasn't a good girl."

April giggled pulling away ready to run in the opposite direction, wanting to play a game with her uncle Danny.

"April Sarah!" Danny said firmly. "Let's go, time to go."

"No go play." She defiantly stomped a foot starting up the jungle gym.

"April, you hid from Jack, that was not nice!" Danny said. "You don't play hide and seek by yourself. Got it?

She giggled at him sitting on top of the jungle gym, clapping her hands.

Danny shook his head, New York's top detective outwitted by a two-year-old.

Eddie and Jamie met Luke and Kara in the lobby of the hotel. They were going to hear live jazz music on Bourbon Street and enjoy some more local fare. Jamie and Eddie held their tongues about the money argument they were having. They didn't want to ruin this night. Jamie put his arm around Eddie's shoulders. He supposed there were men that would be happy with a very rich fiancée that was willing to share money freely, but he just wanted to live like they would have if there had been no Tom…just like it should have been all along.

The two couples headed out arm in arm, called their Uber and went to hear the music. There wasn't loud dance music in this bar, it was more intimate and calm. Luke found himself watching Kara, her beauty was enhanced by the candlelight.

In just over 24 hours they would be man and wife. His sister was going to bring the boys in on the jet, courtesy of Eddie. He could never repay her for all she had done to make things perfect for their wedding, except with friendship. Her generosity was a blessing.

Luke's mind wandered back to the night before he proposed to Kara. They were cuddling on her sofa, drinking wine, when he finally asked her, "I see your scars when we make love, but I've never asked you where they came from. If you don't want to tell me it's okay, I just…"

"No, no, it's okay," Kara replied. "I was shot a little over a year ago. I don't remember much but Eddie told me that I was sick for a few days. She was right by my side the entire time. I remember her there and Jamie, but I didn't remember Matt being there that much. I think those two bullets were a blessing."

Luke cupped Kara's cheek in his hand and softly kissed her lips. "If I had been with you, if we were together when that happened, nothing would have kept you from your bedside. Nothing."

"Matt was very supportive of the boys," Kara replied. "Alex and Jake both took it hard and they were scared for me to leave for work for a while after it happened, but they're better now and I'm blessed that it did happen. It was the kick I needed, the push I needed to realize I deserved better than what I had. I'm so glad I did make that choice."

"Me too," Luke whispered holding Kara close. "That way you were able to be with me. I love you, Kara and I won't ever stop. I won't stop."

Kara could tell by the look in his eyes it was true.

Jamie was studying Eddie as she listened to the music. He wasn't sure what the trouble was exactly, she was still his Eddie, his soulmate and the light of his world. Perhaps, it was the connection to Tom that was the problem, the connection to his biggest mistake.

Eddie tossed her long, golden hair and sat back in her chair. She turned her head and looked at Jamie, her blue eyes shining brightly. She was so beautiful and soon she would be all his, in body, soul, and name. There was nothing they couldn't do together. Eddie reached her hand back and touched Jamie's cheek softly. Their eyes met and held each other's gaze. Gently, Eddie placed a soft kiss on his lips then stood up and moved to sit on his lap. She wanted to be held and cuddled, and Jamie was happy to do that, even with the tension still lingering between them.

Kara and Luke had no idea the stress that was going on for their friends. They were so happy and excited with their wedding the next day. Jamie and Eddie were, in effect, their role models, they wanted to share their love and their lives like they did.

When the music ended, the two couples walked hand in hand along the streets. "I can't believe it's tomorrow," Kara finally said out loud. "I'm so excited and the boys are excited. They have loved spending time with Kerri and going horseback riding."

"The jet will have them here by two," Eddie replied. "We can get manicures and pedicures in the morning, then go meet them and get ready for the ceremony. The event planner from the aquarium is going to oversee the flowers and all, we'll just have to check a few details."

"I'm happy to be giving you away," Jamie smiled. "I still remember when we rode together that week, so much has changed since then, so much has happened."

"Yes, you two became my best friends, and I have you to thank for this,' Kara smiled. "I wouldn't have lived through my shooting if not for you guys pulling me back. I wouldn't have had this chance if it wasn't for the two of you."

Kara dropped Luke's hand and hugged both Eddie and Jamie. "Luke and I can't wait to make your wedding day this special. We really can't wait."

"It will be," Eddie smiled. "We'll be together, Jamie and I still have a lot of planning to do. Will get you guys settled tomorrow and then we'll start talking about that. I do know one thing though, I'd love for you to stand up with me this time around. You've been such a wonderful and reliable friend though this whole thing."

Kara's eyes misted over, Eddie was her best female friend as well. "I'd be honored," she smiled. "Honored."

Jamie and Eddie had decided to just have a small bridal party, Danny, Kara, and their kids. "The boys are wearing mini versions of Luke's suit, do you want to do that for Max and maybe get a dress similar to yours for April?"

The girls started to talk about details, Jamie looked at Luke, "Are you planning to stay in New York after the wedding?" That was an elephant in the room.

"Kara and Luke were pretty quiet after you asked about where they were going to live,' Eddie commented when she and Jamie got back to the room. "I'm not sure that he's happy living in New York. I would hate it if they moved."

"Really, Eddie?" Jamie laughed as he started to change his clothes. "You? You could just hire a jet once a week and go and see them." Guess he wasn't over the money thing yet.

"Wow,'" Eddie replied sharply. 'That was really pointed. But yes, in theory, I could do that. I did offer to put them up in their suite another three days after we go home, so they can have a real honeymoon. Something good might as well come out of having this money.

Jamie sighed, "I thought we did good for others every day on the job. You in SVU, you have helped so many people. Look at the little kid, Carlos, you got him in a great foster home, you are involved with him…"

"Yes, but, Jamie listen to me, Kara was miserable for years in her marriage, Luke wasn't but he suffered such a terrible loss…I want to make this special and we have the means to do it." Eddie stood on her tiptoes and gave Jamie a kiss. "Please stop being angry with me about spending some money. I'm not trying flash it, I'm trying to be generous and help our friends."

Jamie nodded and changed the subject again, he didn't want to keep discussing it. "I know you'll be upset if they do move, but I think Luke might want to be near the memory of his family. He really misses his son. He saw Max and just ate him up."

Eddie sighed, "I miss my babies when I'm not in the same room with them, I can't imagine losing one of them. I even mourned that baby when I thought I was pregnant."

Jamie put his arms around her and rocked her gently, "I know, you want to call Linda tomorrow and check on them?"

Eddie beamed, "I talked to her today, Max isn't sleeping but April was doing great. She's so resilient, just like her Daddy. We've been through a lot too. We deserve the happiness that's coming our way too."

"Luke is a classicist, he wants traditional vows but I want us to write our own Jamie. I want it to be our own promises that we recite under our tree."

Jamie smiled, "I was hoping you'd say that. I already have a few ideas of what I want to say, mainly that I love you more than life. I love you so much…"

"I love you too, let's go to bed huh? We have a busy day tomorrow."

Jamie smiled and kissed Eddie's hair. She turned over in his arms and met his lips with her own. Even with the bit of tension they had between then, their connections was such that a few off placed words and difference of opinion didn't matter at all. The kisses were soft and gentle, there wasn't much urgency tonight, just easy and simple love.

Jamie moved over Eddie's body, caressing her curves and massaging her soft skin. She was holding him close to her, as if he might disappear if they didn't stay connected. "I'm here,' Jamie whispered at her movements. "I'm here for you my love. I'm here…'

Their kisses grew heated as their bodies took over for their minds. The New Orleans night was hot and with the perspiration of their flesh the heat of the night climbed even further. Jamie slid down Eddie's body, eagerly kissing his way up and down her skin. She held his shoulders, her nails digging into his back, head dropped back in delight.

"You like this…" he smiled. "I love when you do that, so sexy."

Eddie moaned, her body was on fire with his touches and kisses. She pulled up on his shoulders, wanting him to take her, hold her, and be with her. Jamie was happy to oblige, his manhood stood at the ready to bring her pleasure and to seek pleasure of his own.

With one thrust, Jamie pressed home into the softness of Eddie's body. She gasped at the fullness he brought to her, both in body and soul. "Jamie," she gasped again. Oh, Jamie…"

He stopped her words with his kiss and held her firmly against him. They stayed connected as their bodies cooled down. Eddie fell asleep with Jamie's soft whispers, "I'm here…" echoing in her heart.

Eddie was up and out of the hotel room before Jamie stirred the next morning. She pulled out some of the hotel stationary and penned him a note.

 **Dearest Jamie,**

 **I'm off to see Kara and get our hair and nails done for the ceremony later. I'll miss seeing you today but I know that when I do look at you during the ceremony, we'll both be imaging when it's our turn to become man and wife. I do love you so much, Jamie, and I don't want to have tension between us over anything. It's taken us both such a long time to get to this place of happiness, let's not let anything get in our way.**

 **Each day, I admire my beautiful ring, and see so much of your past and our future on my hand. I can't wait for a band of gold to reside there, a circle of our life together.**

 **Enjoy your time with Luke today, some male bonding in the city, I'll see you later when the sun goes down over the warm day and we witness and bless our friends and ourselves, before God and some penguins.**

 **All my love,**

 **Eddie.**

Jamie smiled and remembered the collection of love notes in Eddie's shoe box. He wondered if they kept collecting them over the years if they would have room for all of them. He loved to get those little notes and tokens of her love. He knew the day would crawl without Eddie near him today, but that would make tonight all the better.


	153. Chapter 153

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Three

Jamie showered then met Luke in the lobby to head over to meet his sister and Kara's two sons. They were very excited about the wedding and being in a new place. When the two men pulled up to the jetway, they saw both boys running across the tarmac in a way no kid was able to do anymore except the ones that got to ride on private jets.

Luke held his arms out and the boys ran to him. "We were on the plane all by ourselves!" Jake gushed. "And we got to go in the cockpit where the pilots sits!"

Jamie smiled at the boy's enthusiasm, Eddie's generosity made that possible for them. Kerri, Luke's younger sister, smiled at her brother. "You look really happy, Lucas," she smiled. "These little guys are hysterical and this plane!"

"That's courtesy of Jamie and Eddie, this is Jamie," Luke introduced his new friend. Jamie smiled at the petite young lady and shook her hand. She was the female image of Luke. "Nice to meet you, Jamie Reagan."

Kerri and Jamie shook hands and exchanged smiles. "You'll meet Eddie later," Jamie said. "She's the one to thank for all of this. How about some lunch before we go back to the hotel? Soak up some local flavor."

"Can we get hot dogs from the vendor?" Alex asked. He lived on hot dogs.

"There's not a vendor like that here, buddy," Luke replied. "But I know what you'll like. Let's go. Want a piggy back ride?"

Luke hoisted Alex on his shoulders, Kerri held Jake's hand. They headed to the luncheonette that Jamie and Eddie discovered the first day. They had mild bourbon chicken, rice, and corn on the cob. The boys loved their meal but Jake inquired, "Where's Mommy?"

"Well," Luke replied. "Your Mommy is off getting prettied up for the wedding later. When we get back to the hotel you'll get to see her and get dressed for the wedding too."

Alex smiled and Jake turned back to his food.

The girls smiled and laughed as they walked out of the nail salon. It was fun for them to have some time to just be ladies. "You are going to be a beautiful bride, your hair looks fabulous!" Eddie complimented Kara as they headed out to get some lunch on their own.

"How is Jamie handling all of the expense you are going to for this wedding? He seemed a little on edge last night," Kara observed.

"He's fine," Eddie replied. "He's just not used to having financial resources like this and honestly I don't even know what we have. There's so much going on with the estate…But let's not talk about the cost. Let's talk about your honeymoon, what are you thinking of doing the next few days?"

"Not much," Kara laughed. "Luke wants to have children right away, so I'm sure we'll be working on that."

"Do you want to have more kids?" Eddie asked. "Your boys are great, but Jamie and I have our hands full with two…"

"Oh, yes, I do," Kara smiled. "Luke misses his son so much and I have to say it, I'm jealous. I want to feel what it's like to carry my soulmate's baby under my heart." Kara's eyes teared at that thought.

"I'd like to know how that feels too," Eddie replied. "When I was having April, I didn't know she was my soulmate's baby. If Jamie and I have another, that's what I really want."

Kara gave Eddie a warm hug, "Thank you for this. I remember when you were at my bedside after I was shot. You promised me this day would come, and now it has!"

Eddie beamed, "You're welcome. You've done so much for me and Jamie, to help us, I had to share that with you. What are friends for?"

"What indeed?" Kara replied. "We better get a move on, I have to try to dress two boys without messing my hair. I'm usually lucky to do it without pulling my hair out."

"Come on," Eddie replied. "I'll help you."

The boys ran to their mother when Kerri let them step out of Jamie and Eddie's room. She threw her arms around them and hugged them tight. "I missed you guy, did you have fun on the plane?"

Both boys were so excited, Kara had to hold them still. The chattered all at once about their private jet ride. "Tell Miss Eddie thank you for flying you guys out."

Eddie was not what Kerri was expecting at all. She was down to earth, pretty, but not at all pretentious. She wasn't the type of woman that you'd think of when you heard the words private jet.

The five of them headed down to Kara's room to start getting dressed. Eddie's hair was up in a loose up do with soft curls, held in place by her signature silver comb. Kara's was in a swept into a beautiful braid, the gold in her hair shining. She had purchased a bird cage veil that covered her eyes and nose, Eddie would put that on her once the dresses were on.

Kara got her boys in the mini grey suits, without ties, and new cowboy boots just like Luke's, courtesy of their soon to be Aunt Kerri. "Now you two boys run on back to Luke and Jamie and don't mess your clothes. I'll see you at the aquarium okay? Mind Luke and Jamie," Kara instructed.

The boys scampered back to Jamie and Eddie's room, on their best behavior. Eddie slipped into her dress, a gorgeous, sapphire off the shoulder cocktail dress with a deep sweetheart neckline and a silver beaded belt. The belt matched almost exactly with her shoes, beaded also, with a silver strap and embellishment across the toe. The heels were modest, enough to add height and elevate a shapely leg, but not so high they couldn't dance comfortably while they were on.

"That shade sets off your hair," Kara smiled. "I love you in blue and silver…."

"Thank you, I like to accessorize with the comb Jamie gave me, I've worn it for every big event," Eddie replied. "Let's get your dress on. It's so pretty…"

Kara's dress was a tea length A-line in ivory, with a rouched bodice set off by a floral belt. It sported a corset back that Eddie laced up for her friend. It gave her already good figure a little boost, showing off her small waist and bust line. Her shoes, the same style as Eddie's, were in Ivory to match the dress. She carried a bouquet of Gerber daisies secured with a blue ribbon. As the finishing touch, Eddie put a delicate string of pearls around her neck. "Now, we have your grandma's handkerchief, something old, the dress is something new...this necklace is something borrowed, and you ribbon, something blue. You are ready!" Eddie helped her friend secure the veil, "You look gorgeous. Luke is going to explode when he sees you."

"Jamie's going to be chomping at the bit to get you in front of a preacher…I can't believe it's here, Eddie. I can't believe I'm about to marry the man I love more than even my own life."

"I can," Eddie beamed. 'You deserve it. Come on, we have to meet the driver downstairs and get over to the aquarium. We'll touch up our make up when we get there."

Jamie and Luke waited anxiously for the girls. It was getting closer to seven and they still hadn't arrived. It had only been a few minutes, but to Luke it felt longer. "You think she got cold feet and changed her mind?" he asked Jamie.

"No, that's not Kara," Jamie assured him. "If she did change her mind she'd at least come and tell you directly. She stood up to a whole squad once when the other officers were trying to black ball her. She's a tough cookie, just like my Eddie."

Janice, the event manager smiled, as she eyed the nervous groom. "They're probably held up by that accident on Bourbon Street. Some limousine crashed into a parked car over there and it's holding up the reverend. He just called."

Jamie and Luke shared troubled looks as both of their stomachs lurched. "Kerri," Luke told his sister removing his jacket and tie. "Watch the boys…keep them busy."

She nodded, seeing the emotion play out on her brother's face. Jamie, too, tossed his jacket aside and started to run with Luke the three blocks towards the accident.

Eddie and Kara were temporarily dazed by the impact of their car into a stationary object. The seatbelts bit into the skin and the jolt knocked some of Kara's hair loose. "Are you okay?" Eddie asked her friend when she got her wits about her.

"Yeah, I'm fine…what the…." Kara wondered. Their driver was on his way out of the car, not even asking how his passengers were doing.

"Hey!" Eddie pushed open the car door. "Hey, where are you going?"

In her three inch heel, sandal style shoes, Eddie took off after their driver. It was clear to her, now that he was intoxicated, he was stumbling and actually stopped when she called out to him. "You're not going anywhere, you're under citizen's arrest for reckless endangerment and driving while intoxicated. Kara, take the strap off my purse and help me tie this guy up."

Jamie ran in pace with Luke the entire way. His heart was pounding and he felt sick to his stomach. His Eddie. They had seen plenty of car accidents on tour, some small and largely unmentionable, others large and horrific with multiple injuries. He prayed this was only a fender bender. They had been arguing and he hadn't even held her today. They have made love, but their last major conversation had been tense and harsh on his part.

That was always his worst night mare, sharing cross words and then having something happen. He couldn't help but want to cry at the fear of the loss he could suffer. Eddie was his heart, his world, and soulmate. Without her, he couldn't go on. He had their babies but what was he to them without his heart.

He picked up his pace, if the worst was to happen he wanted her to know what was in his heart. He'd marry her now if he could. They had waited so long, he hoped it wasn't too long.

For his part, Luke was numb. What was this? A cruel joke? Dangle the carrot of happiness in front of his nose and rip it away. He barely survived the last time and if he was honest, the depth of the feeling for Kara surpassed the feeling he had for his late wife. To lose her now when they were steps away from eternity. It ached, it opened up the old wounds. He could not do this again, he would not try to survive this loss. Their loved burned hot and heavy, like quicksilver. It astonished him, how quickly she opened his heart, and how quickly they had determined they couldn't live without each other. The memory of their brief but warm courtship ran through his mind. Playing paintball and losing to Jamie and Eddie, only to have the girls turn on them at the last minute. Line dancing at the honky tonk in Montana on Kara's visit home…it all came flooding back. It couldn't be over, that just wouldn't be fair. Jamie was running faster now, Luke matched his pace. He didn't want to be apart from Kara one second longer than he had to. Not one second longer.

"Just give me that strap," Eddie said to Kara. "Pull on the end of it. What did you think? You were going to run?" Eddie asked with her foot on the neck of their intoxicated limo driver. "Big mistake, driving two New York City cops around drunk!"

Kara pulled the strap tighter to make sure their perp wasn't going anywhere. Her hair had fallen in her face, she brushed it back in frustration. "Where are the New Orleans police to take him, we're already late!" Kara paced back and forth, ignoring her sore side for the moment to worry about being late for her own wedding.

That was the sight that greeted Jamie and Luke as they ran up at full speed. They both stopped, seeing their lady loves, lassoing their limo driver, looking none the worse for wear. They jogged up, "Eddie!"

"Kara!" they both gasped out as they sucked in their breath. "Are you okay?"

The police arrived from the other side of the street and took over holding the drunken driver. Jamie reached for Eddie the same time that Luke reached for Kara. They crushed them to their bodies, in almost a mirror vision, then both pulled back to take inventory of their loved ones' bodies.

Eddie was sporting a bruise on her shoulder and holding her ribs. Kara's hip was sore and she leaned against Luke to take the edge off. "Are you all right? What happened?" Jamie asked Eddie as Luke silently held Kara.

"He was drunk. The hotel valet held our doors for us and helped us in so, I didn't have any way to tell. I thought he was just a jerk, keeping the divider up, and he wasn't getting any tip for that, but then…" She took a breath. "He tried to escape, so I chased him down and we tired him up with my purse strap. That's a good purse, I need that strap back!"

"We'll get it back, the important thing is you're okay," Jamie sighed and pulled her back into his arms. "Do you hurt anywhere? I can see a couple bruises but…"

"I'm fine. My foot hurts from running on the concrete, but I couldn't ruin my good shoes for the wedding," Eddie replied. "Are you okay? You look like you can't breathe."

"My heart stopped the whole way here, I'm just getting the blood to pump again. I thought I lost you, I thought I lost you forever." He cradled her even tighter, rocking back and forth, watching Kara and Luke's reunion over the top of Eddie's head.

"Are you okay? You're leaning on me, did you hurt your leg?" Luke asked.

"My hip banged against the door," Kara replied. "But I'm okay. I'm just fine now." She laid her head on his chest. "How did you even find out? We couldn't call, we were trying to keep that guy…he was drunk and trying to escape…"

Luke's eyes turned to black, the soul went right out of them as a look of anger and hate came over his face. He turned on his heel and made a bee line for the man that was driving the car. He was now restrained by then NOPD, and totally vulnerable. Kara took off after Luke, "No! Luke, stop! Jamie, stop him!"

Jamie let go of Eddie at Kara's plea and caught Luke's shoulders before he made contact with the driver. "Luke, he's not worth getting arrested over, man. He's not…take a breath, walk it off."

"He could have killed them! Just like my son! Just like my wife and son! He could have killed Kara!" Luke was livid, his blood boiling.

"I know," Jamie replied. "But don't go making it worse."

Luke took a couple breaths then turned and looked at Kara, "Do you want to postpone this? Go back to the aquarium, pick up the boys, and get some ice cream…"

"Bite your tongue!" Kara scolded. 'You can't back out now, buster. Come on…" Kara took Luke's hand. "We are going to catch us a rickshaw and get ourselves hitched as you have put it. Let's go, we've waited too long already. Eddie, get your shoes back on, let's go!"

"The bride has spoken," Eddie laughed. "Let's hit it."

The couples hailed a rickshaw and rode back to the aquarium holding hands. They finally settled back at the aquarium, an hour and a half late.

"Are we too late?" Eddie asked the manager. "We're sorry, our limo driver was drunk and he hit a van."

"It's no problem, not at all. We are closed now so you have the place to yourselves. The young boys are enjoying watching the dolphins get ready for the night."

Kara smiled, "Let's freshen up then and we'll get this show on the road. Luke, you forget what you saw now. Just wash it out of your mind."

Jamie's arms snaked out and captured Eddie, holding her close to him. "I love you," he whispered. "I could have lost you…I can't believe I could have lost you."

"You didn't," Eddie replied. "And you won't, not ever. I won't ever be far from you. I love you."

Jamie kissed Eddie gently, "Go on, and get cleaned up. We have a wedding to attend. Two of them, thank God."

"Yes, Thank God." Eddie and Kara headed off to fix themselves up, "We best get fresh ourselves,' Jamie advised. "We're both a bit sticky."

Luke nodded and walked with Jamie to the men's room, Jamie was talking, but he didn't hear a word he had to say.

"Oh, no!" Kara sighed. "Eddie, look at my hair. It's all fallen out!"

"Not to worry," Eddie replied. "I can fix it. Anita taught me how to do hair really well. I can get that worked out in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Now sit down, we'll fit that up and fix our faces. This is going to be a beautiful wedding."

Kara smiled, "Luke looked like he was going to explode. His wife and son died in a crash caused by a drunk driver. The memories had to be so hard for him."

"I know…" Eddie sighed. "I know. But let's not think of that now, let's get to the reason we're hear, to make you Mrs. Luke Simmons."

Kara smiled and sat down on the toilet for Eddie to fix her hair.

"Smart move to take off these jackets," Jamie replied. "My grandpa always used to say that a prepared man doesn't leave the house without deodorant when he has to go to an occasion. Oh man, I think we're going to need some cologne too!"


	154. Chapter 154

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Four

Luke only smiled for a second as he paced back and forth. "This could have been…we could have lost them. I can't believe that it could have happened to me again. I don't even know if I can go out there and do this!"

"Luke!" Jamie turned around, forgetting his own swirling thoughts. He had a very nervous groom on his hands and if he didn't fix this now, Eddie would kill him.

"Hey, calm down a second here. Yes, they got in an accident and got a little banged up," Jamie soothed. "But, it could have been so much worse, but it wasn't, they're okay. Now, you can sit here and be scared and worry about what could have happened or what might happen, or you can get up and go get married to the woman you love and admire more than your life. If I could marry Eddie right this minute, not a thing in this world would stop me from doing it. You and Kara deserve happiness."

Luke sighed, "I don't know if I could get over another loss. I don't think I could get up a second time…"

"And you don't know you'll ever have to," Jamie replied. "You and Kara, are soulmates. You had to find each other. This is a beautiful second chance for you both. You and Kara, you two will grow so old together you'll forget each other's names. Today is about celebrating your love, let's do that!"

Luke nodded, "You're right! Let's do this, you're right. Let's not waste any more time. Let's go…"

Jamie smiled, the girls were probably ready. He put a supportive arm around Luke's shoulders and headed out to the penguin dwelling to await their ladies.

Kerri started the CD, it began to play a wedding classic, "Because you Come to me" for the processional. Kara's boys stood with Luke and Jamie waiting for Eddie and Kara to walk out.

Eddie was first, slowly walking toward Jamie and Luke. In her mind's eye, she was walking to Jamie, like she would be in their special place before this time next year. Jamie's eyes studied her, the sapphire gown, and the silver in her shoes, belt and comb...and the love in her eyes. Finally, it was Kara...Luke gasped watching her flow towards them.

She wore a strapless off white gown with a sweetheart neckline showing off her upper body, a simple pattern of flowers lay delicately across her waist.

Despite the accident there wasn't a mark on the gown, it was immaculate. She slowly approached Luke and took his hand with the penguins waddling in the background. The minister smiled at the couple, and began. "Dearly beloved..."

Beside them Jamie met Eddie's eyes giving her a smile excited for them to say the vows that would make them husband and wife. He knew one thing in his heart of hearts, there was no way he could wait until April to make Eddie his. Jamie's eyes held Eddie's as the minister asked, "Do you, Lucas Jonathan Simmons, take Kara Ann Walsh to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and forsaking all others keep only to her until such time as you are parted by death?"

"I do," Luke reached to take Kara's hands his eyes twinkling as they locked with Kara's. Taking a deep breath he offered her a soft smile. As Kara took her vows, Jamie mouthed the words to Eddie, with a gentle smile. She had tears running down her face, for her friends happiness and her own. The minister asked Kara the same question, she smiled and held Luke's hand, replying firmly, "I do..."

Jamie and Eddie held hands as the minister continued saying the words that would make Luke and Kara man and wife. "You may now kiss your wife." Luke turned toward his wife cupping her face with his hands, smiling while leaning in until their lips met softly.

Jamie looked at Eddie and smiled, he gave her a soft kiss before they clapped and congratulated Luke and Kara. Both of the boys were smiling and hugging Luke, they were very happy to have him for their stepfather. Eddie moved to the front of the penguin habitat and smiled at the birds that seemed to be enjoying the wedding. She took a deep breath and began to sing the song Luke and Kara had picked for her, Bless the Broken Road.

All eyes fell on Eddie listening to her sing, Jamie smiling at her beautiful voice. Luke held Kara close to him, she laid her head on his chest as Eddie sang the chorus. They had definitely both walked a broken road, they both had their share of struggles, but that led here, to this beautiful site with the people they loved.

Kara and Luke swayed to the music, tears were running down their faces and mingling together as they dropped onto the bodice of her dress. They had waited so long for this day, it seemed even before they met each other they had been waiting and finally it was here sanctified by the beautiful venue, Eddie's amazing voice, and 12 penguins waddling behind the glass.

Jamie and Eddie hugged their friends after the song was over. The manager of the aquarium took a photo of all of them together, something that would be cherished and remembered by everyone present. Kerri took the kids back to their hotel room, both boys were very tired after the night ran much later than anticipated.

"We'll see you for breakfast tomorrow," Kara told Eddie as they headed to separate limos. "Thanks for everything, this day, even with that fender bender, could not have been better. We are so thankful for your generosity. I love you, girl." The two friends embraced and Eddie and Jamie waved, tossing confetti as Kara and Luke headed to their honeymoon.

When they arrived back at the hotel, Luke lifted Kara off her feet and carried her into the suite. "Are you sure you're all right? You didn't just push through for the sake of the ceremony?"

"I'm fine," Kara replied smiling. "I'm perfect. I'm Mrs. Luke Simmons and that puts me on top of the world."

The hotel had put a bottle of champagne in their room, and Eddie and Jamie had arranged for a New Orleans seafood dinner to be served. It was waiting for them as they settled in. Luke and Kara shared soft kisses as they ate. They knew this was truly the beginning of the rest of their lives. They only finished half their meal before Luke stood up and pulled Kara to her feet. "Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable, I'll put the dishes out in the hallway, and we can…" He kissed her. "Seal this deal with another kiss."

Luke couldn't imagine anyone looking more beautiful. He reached for Kara as she stepped out of the bathroom, a vision. Luke had already removed his tie, suit jacket and shirt. He stood, barefoot, in his grey suit pants and undershirt smiling at her.

Kara's white nightie melted away, Luke's pants and undershirt quickly evaporated in the heat of the night.

Jamie and Eddie walked into the hotel room hand in hand. Jamie had kept his cool for Luke's sake, but now he was coming off the adrenaline and slightly limping.

"We should change honey," she said gently. "We really should change and get settled for the night. "Instead Jamie reached a hand out taking her arm and pulled Eddie closer so she sat on his lap. "I love you, Eddie."

"I love you so much," she sighed. What's wrong?"

"Nothing just…" Jamie sighed quietly nuzzling her.

"The accident scared you. It scared me too, but I'm fine, the wedding was beautiful..."

It was a beautiful wedding but that wasn't in Jamie's mind. "You could have been killed Eddie."

"But I wasn't" Eddie soothed. 'I wasn't. I'm goings to be your wife in April.

"But you could have been Eddie, if I lost you…I don't know what I'd do. Let's get married here now."

"Jamie..." Eddie sighed. "Honey I don't want to wait either, but our kids aren't here and your family. Montana is our special place.

Holding her hands Jamie agreed Montana was their dream. "Let's not wait until April then let's do it sooner. I want you to be my wife Eddie."

Eddie sighed and smiled. "I want you to be my husband Jamie. To move the wedding up and do it like we planned will cost a lot."

"So you don't think that it's worth it," Jamie sighed dropping his hands in disappointment that Eddie didn't seem as enthusiastic.

"I do, but you are the one that's upset about spending. I'll spend whatever I have to spend on this."

Jamie sighed, "I am but I'll help Eddie this is about us and our future together." Jamie reached for her hands.

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest and sighed. "Okay, what month then? We can't do it in December, January, or February, it'll be too cold. What about October around your birthday?"

"That'll be nice the leaves will be changing colors, it'll be crisp but not too cold. That will be a nice birthday present to marry you," Jamie agreed with a smile.

Eddie beamed, "We'll talk to Danny and your Dad, just to be sure. I'll call the chalet tomorrow about their wedding services for the fall and if it's actually possible to get married beneath our tree.

Jamie nodded pulling her into his lap smiling while he leaned in placing a soft kiss. "I love you Eddie so much."

"I love you more," Eddie replied. "I'm glad we're doing this. I'm so glad that we are going to be husband and wife sooner. I..." She tipped her head up and waited.

"I am too," Jamie replied leaning in meeting her soft lips brushing his own overs hers slowly holding Eddie around the waist.

"You were limping," Eddie whispered sitting on his lap. "Did you hurt your foot running?"

"Yeah, a little bit but it's okay," Jamie smiled up at her eyes twinkling at her softly.

"Let me rub it for you," Eddie whispered. "Then we'll get to bed...unless you have something else in mind."

Smirking Jamie lay back bringing Eddie with him kicking off the shoes he wore.

Get into something more comfortable,' Jamie replied. "I will too."

Eddie slipped off his lap leaving with a kiss before heading into the bathroom to change while Jamie did the same.

Eddie held Jamie's feet in her lap, running her small gentle hands over the arch. It wasn't long before Jamie grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her up so that their lips met. He ran his lips down her jaw and to the bruise on her shoulder. It was too much to think of her hurt or worse, he needed to feel her alive and well beneath him.

His lips lingered over the delicate pulse of her throat, where her life force was clearly playing for him. She took a long and deep breath, sighing in pleasure at the tender touches. Eddie moved her head to catch Jamie's lips again, then laid on her back and pulled him over her. She needed him as much as he needed her. They both had to prove to each other they were okay. Eddie had to feel alive and Jamie needed her to feel that way.

The earth moved as he made slow and sweet love to her, caressing her back, her shoulders…he held her so close to him that they truly became one body. As Jamie entered Eddie's soft sweet center, "Oh…" she sighed. "Uh..." he panted, yet they both understood those sounds to be those of the deepest pleasure and satisfaction.

Their climax was deep, rather than explosive, and the connection soulful, not cellular…his kisses and touch stayed feather light, a touch of worship and joy, not hunger and need. When they lay together, Jamie rubbed Eddie's back, not speaking, simply memorizing the feel of her. "I can't think how Luke went on," he whispered. "I couldn't"

Eddie leaned up on her elbow, and softly murmured in his chest, "you don't' have to. I'm here to stay. I love you so much. I'm here to stay."


	155. Chapter 155

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Five

Eddie was stiff the next morning. Her shoulder was aching and had a huge long purple bruise. She groaned a bit as she sat up. "Hey Eddie, you okay?" Jamie smiled, awake but not ready to get up yet so he lay and watched her.

"A little sore," she replied. "Stiff is all. I'm okay."

Giving her a smile, Jamie sat up looping his arms around her shoulders to gently kiss her cheek. "Are you hungry we could go out for breakfast?"

"We are supposed to meet Kara and Luke for a post wedding brunch," Eddie replied. "Let's get a move on."

Nodding slowly, Jamie dropped his arms letting Eddie up giving a small stretch before getting up to get ready himself.

They waited at the buffet a half hour before they started to eat. Kara and Luke never arrived. Jamie smirked, "I could have told you they weren't coming."

"I'm surprised, Kara knew we were going to celebrate their wedding," Eddie sighed.

"I think they are celebrating their wedding," Jamie laughed. "Let's eat and go sightseeing for a little bit."

Eddie laughed too going back to eating wanting to look around a bit.

They headed to the jazz museum first, Jamie enjoyed the music and Eddie felt it would be nice for him to look around. Holding her hand Jamie marveled at the exhibits smiling in recognition of older jazz artists.

"I remember my mom playing a lot of these." Jamie reminisced.

"They have an old record player for sale and the jazz collection. Would you want that for us?"

"It's okay Eddie, records are hard to come by nowadays," Jamie smiled though

"Not always honey," Eddie smiled. She saw Jamie admiring the piece and knew it would make a great gift for him, an investment in their romantic future. Jamie didn't answer going to a new display admiring it.

Eddie was very hands on with Jamie as they explored. She could sense the nostalgia and the pull off his mother's memory. "Do you want to go?" He seemed sad.

"I'm okay," Jamie smiled. "I just was thinking how much my mother would love you and Max and April. She loved the boys but Nikki was the apple of her eye, I guess since Erin was the only girl."

"It's a consolation for me to know that our moms knew April before she was born, they had a hand in that. It makes me feel a lot better to think that way," Eddie sighed and held Jamie's hand as they walked.

They passed street vendors selling all kind of wares and listened to the musicians playing on the street corners. Jamie stole a few kisses and snuggled Eddie tight as they went around. They were just passed the end of the Superdome when they heard it, "Come, come…"

Eddie turned to the sound to see a palm reader beckoning them to come closer. Eddie always enjoyed that kind of thing, so Jamie obliged her a reading. The psychic sat her down and held her hand, "You have a very strong life line, and you know how to live life to the fullest."

Jamie smiled, that was so true. "You're very bright person, optimistic and uplifting, but there's something you deeply desire you still don't have. I see that will resolve in the future, sooner than you think."

Eddie smiled at Jamie, "We just moved up our wedding date."

The psychic smiled, "Very nice…there's a little boy linking the two of you in the future. Another son of your heart, and your daughter…she is the only child that you share?"

Jamie nodded, thinking of his precious April. He was still learning about her, adjusting to being her Daddy. He still couldn't believe he was her daddy, not just by heart but by blood.

"Jamie, get yours done now…"

Jamie resisted but at Eddie's enthusiastic urging, he sat in the chair. "Your life line is entwined with hers," she commented. "It's a very deep and abiding love that you share with each other. You are very lucky. Does the name Joseph have meaning for you?"

Jamie smiled sadly, "My brother Joe, he was killed."

"He's smiling, he's happy that you got the hint," she replied. "You are doing him proud."

Eddie put her hand on Jamie's shoulder, "Your daughter, she's your only child but I see other children, male children, one of the heart, not of the flesh."

"Will she always be our only child, our only blood child?" Jamie asked hoping for more of a family with Eddie.

"That is unclear," she replied. "You both have very rich and full lives as long as you are entwined together. That will be $10."

Eddie paid the lady and they moved on thinking about what she said, taking it with a grain of salt like all things of this nature.

Jamie missed the kids so he pulled his cell out scrolling to Skype Danny who was with them. With all the times they were calling and Skyping it must be driving Danny crazy. "Hey look guys!" Linda smiled. "It's Daddy and Mommy."

April and Max dropped their toys walking so fast Max slipped, got right back up, and joined his sister. "Momma! Dadda!"

"Hey guys, are you two being good for Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny?

"Mommom, Dada no bye bye.." Max said in tears reaching two little hands for the phone, bottom lip quivering.

"We'll be home tomorrow night buddy," Eddie soothed. "Did you mark your calendar?"

Max pulled back starting to cry stomping his foot emphatically, "No No…Mommom Dada now..."

Eddie sighed, "We can't buddy, but soon we'll be there and have surprises for Max and April!"

"Surprise April and Max..." April's eyes widened with excitement but max plopped himself on the floor kicking his little legs.

Danny picked him up and held him. "He only started to get upset today, but don't worry, he's fine. New Orleans isn't the place for little kids. April..." Danny began but Eddie broke in. "We forgot to tell you, April has a new habit, she..."

"Hides? Yeah, we found that out. I wanted to be the one who told you. Poor Jack found out the hard way when he took them to the park," Danny sighed.

"Oh no!" Eddie gasped. "What did she do?" Jamie found it funny

Danny shifted Max rubbing his back, "They were playing at the park and April hid behind the slide. Jack just about have him a heart attack."

"We should have warned you about that, I'm sorry," Eddie laughed. "We need to go now but we'll see you at the airport tomorrow afternoon."

"Bye Mommy, Daddy love you..." April brought a hand to her mouth blowing them kisses. In Danny's arms max twisted to get down crying harder "No buh bye.."

Eddie turned to Jamie, "He's about had it. He did so well though for us being gone"

"Yeah he did Danny and Linda are good with him they'll give him lot of hugs and we'll be home tomorrow," Jamie hugged Eddie reassuring himself too. Jamie found it hard hearing his son so upset, but Danny was right New Orleans was no place for young children."

Jamie followed Eddie sadly to the gift shop helping her pick out two shirts for the kids. "Do you think that Max is so insecure because of Claudia?" Jamie asked Eddie.

"Honestly, yes, Max is he's very attached to us and that makes separation harder... Jamie, he's in good hands, you can text Danny later and see how he's doing."

"I just can't help but see the difference in him."

"He's your son Jamie and you love him. He's a much different kid since I first met him. You're a great dad," Eddie reassured softly.

Jamie kissed her head, "He likes red. You think?" He held up a red toy trumpet.

"That's cute Jamie yeah he would like that," Eddie nodded in approval.

"We can get him a real one if he shows an aptitude for this."

Jamie agreed and found a beautiful Mardi Gras doll for April. He gave Eddie a soft kiss as he took the items to the counter so he could pay. "They'll like these."

After shopping, Jamie and Eddie headed for their final night out in New Orleans. They had Cajun seafood then a calm rickshaw ride around the area

"This is so good," Eddie's eyes rolled in her head with delight.

Jamie laughed at her, "I'm glad you enjoy it," he did too, but wouldn't admit it.

Eddie polished off her whole plate and half of Jamie's plate as well. They went for churros and chocolate sauce for dessert. They topped the night off with a drink, but only one tropical Hurricane for Eddie.

Jamie was feeling a little bit better after dinner paying for their meals and taking Eddie's hand holding the bags for her.

They smiled and headed to the hotel.

While Eddie packed, carefully laying out their clothing, souvenirs and other important items. They loved their late-night snacks, so Jamie called and ordered some room service to make their last night at the five star hotel special.

He ordered, champagne and strawberries with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. While Eddie worked on their bags, Jamie stripped out of his clothing, leaving on his boxers and the hotel issue robe. He had a plan for tonight, their very last night here, and he wanted to be sure it was easily executed.

Eddie was slowly losing layers of clothing. She was hot from the activity. She pulled off her top first, then her denim shorts, leaving just her lacy one piece that looked like the hottest bathing suit Jamie ever saw. She didn't acknowledge the door when the waiter buzzed. She was too busy labeling the gifts to be sure everyone was taken care of before heading to the airport tomorrow.

"Eddie," Jamie called when he had set up the dessert. "I have a surprise over here…"

She didn't hear him, "We didn't get Nikki anything. I know she's not a fan of us but I don't know if we should exclude her…"

Jamie shook his head, when Eddie got focused on something, and she said he wasn't any fun…so…he picked up the can of whipped cream and squirted some in her general direction. A blob landed in her hair. "Ugh, Jamie! What are you doing?"

"Told you dessert was ready," he laughed and squirted again.

"Oh, you are going to pay for that," Eddie declared and headed for the silver room service tray. She grabbed the bottle of chocolate sauce and with deliberate intent shot some onto the hotel robe.

"You did not just do that!" Jamie demanded, trying to hide his laughter.

"Oh, but I did," Eddie replied and took aim again. Jamie stripped the robe and revealed his muscled chest and flawless abs to her view. That wasn't a deterrent however, she fired the chocolate again getting a dead on hit.

Jamie shot the whipped cream, a dollop landed in the crevice of Eddie's breast. It hung there in suspension, just waiting for him to go and lick it off.

The hunger in Jamie's eyes stilled Eddie's assault. He was walking toward her with fierce determination, his only objective to lick that cream from her bosom and taste the sweetness of her flesh.

"You are so hot," Jamie murmured, feeling a little uninhibited by the sultry New Orleans night. "You are…"

Eddie gave a throaty laugh, it was so unlike Jamie to say something like that but so much of a turn on for her. She reached for his taut chest, wanting his heat and his skin under her touch. She needed him badly, she wanted him to hold her close and love her until she was blinded by the light of ecstasy.

The bed was occupied with suitcases, so they tumbled to the floor, Jamie using the soft robe to protect her flesh from the rough carpet. Her pulse leapt with desire as his tongue teased her. Her body was aching now, and she moved restlessly against him. He covered her mouth again and again with tender kisses. The sensual pressure was gentle, yet robbed her of breath. She shuddered, breathless, and dizzy from the slow intensity of his hot, languorous kisses against her mouth.

His attentions moved lower, his lips tracing her bare throat, her collarbone, the swell of her breast. By the time he found her nipple, she was quivering. His hands cupped the fullness of her breasts, he took her tight, peaked nipples in turn and drew them into his mouth, biting at each with care. The heat was incomparable, it burst through her hot and bright, making her burn with excitement.

He tongued her full, firm breasts until she fought back a ragged moan. Then he sucked harder, making her loins clench wildly. She had to bite her lip to stop herself screaming out for more.

Jamie groaned low in his throat, "God, what you do to me!"

His thighs tightened driving against her hips. She arched involuntarily, overwhelmed by the warm smell of him in the steamy night. Their bodies stuck together, the chocolate, cream, and perspiration acting like a glue that would keep them firmly together forever.

Eddie turned over in Jamie's arms and laid her head on his sticky, chocolate covered chest. She pulled herself back and gently trailed a train of kisses from his quivering belly button to the slope of his neck. Jamie dropped his head back and moaned in pleasure.

She positioned her body so that her hips massaged against his and her hands caressed the smooth planes of his stomach. The additions of the cream and chocolate just enhanced the erotic sensations of his hair roughened skin and her soft flesh meeting. She dropped her head and suckled on one of his nipples, flicking it with her tongue until it was as excited as hers were. She lifted her head and offered a little smile before turning her attention…elsewhere.

Her attentions had him hard and ready for her…his hand dipped between them, he slowly dipped a finger inside her…She writhed against his hand, driving him and herself even more wild with desire.

She was shamelessly wet, he found as he stroked her moist sex to arouse her to a fever pitch. Shifting position so that he knelt between her thighs, he pulled down her panties and tossed them aside. She writhed beneath him, needing him inside of her. "Now…inside me…now!" she begged.

He obliged, he arched his hips and pressed home, feeling the stickiness of their bodies as he set a rapid rhythm. They came together in passion and need. He took her with fierce, insistent thrusts. She shattered an instant before he did. He held her convulsing form still for his thrusts as she clawed at his shoulders, but then the searing tumult caught him. His surrender was as fierce as his hunger. A hoarse shout dredged from this throat as he gave himself up to powerful explosion.

When the storm had passed, he lay against her, spent and shuddering, his heart hammering. For a long moment, neither of them spoke a word, they didn't have a reason, their bodies did it for them.

Happily, Eddie and Jamie put their kids to bed early that night. Jamie looked at their little April and snuggled her tight.

"I love you so much, baby girl," he leaned down to kiss her head gently pulling the covers up.

She sighed in her sleep and Jamie looked down. "She is the best thing we have ever done."

"Yes, she is we're very lucky. Hopefully we can have another like her."

"Let's see how things are after we are married from a few months, then we can start trying." Eddie gave him a kiss. "Tomorrow I'm thinking of taking Max to visit Carlos at his foster home.

Jamie nodded putting an arm around Eddie. "He'll like that a lot. I'm so glad once he saw us he calmed down and went down easily tonight. I'd like to spend some Daddy ad daughter time with April. I still can't believe she's ours."

"I thought you might want to spend some one-on-one time with her," Eddie replied. "You haven't had any quality time with her since you found out she is yours. But she is your baby girl Jamie, and I know that there was something divine at work to make it so you were there for her birth."

"I'm so glad of that too," Jamie smiled. "I just want to take as much time as I can," Jamie brushed a hand over her cheek smiling.

"Then, April will have her very first Daddy daughter date tomorrow. What are you going to do, any ideas?"

Jamie smiled shaking his head, "I don't know, I want it to be special though."

"Why don't you take her to Build-A-Bear and get a little lunch," Eddie suggested. "She'll love that."

"Yeah that's a great idea Eddie thanks," Jamie kissed her head.

They curled up in bed, holding one another tight. The travel made them sleepy and it wasn't long before they were both sound asleep in each other's arms. Max came to their room twice, not crying just toddling to the bed. Eddie smiled at the boy, got up, and returned him to his own room, assuring him Mommom and Daddy were home and still there. Eddie sat on the edge of his bed and happily sang him to sleep.


	156. Chapter 156

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Six

They ate breakfast early so they could start their day. Eddie left to take Max to Mrs. Turner's for some Mommom and Max time, and to help the boy learn to play with children besides April. She was invested in Carlos' future and couldn't wait to see how he flourished.

Jamie picked April up, and tickled her belly. "You and I are going out to play today. I have a surprise for you."

"pise?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

Smiling Jamie picked her up kissing her head. "Yes, a surprise just for April." He got her ready heading to the Build-A-Bear.

As he drove Jamie checked on April smiling at her through the mirror. He wanted today to be extra special since they haven't had just Daddy and April time.

April talked and talked about her books. "Books Daddy?"

"Yeah you want to read books later with Daddy? We can do that," Jamie agreed.

"Dolphin book," she told him. "Swim swim"

"Yeah, dolphins swim. Good job honey!" Jamie praised.

"Daddy what that?" They heard sirens and saw the lights.

"That's a police car, honey. They're going to help someone. Who are police officers?"

"Mommy," she replied." Mommy pwee officer."

"Yeah Mommy is a police officer and Daddy too," Jamie smiled pulling into a spot. He went around opening the door to help April out.

"New dress?" She asked noticing the mall. "Mommy do it."

Smiling at her Jamie carried April in. "We can pick out a new dress too." They walked past other stores coming to Build-a-Bear.

"Now Max," Eddie said. "We are going to see Mommom's friend Carlos and his friend Pete. You be a good boy, hold my hand, and play nice."

Max took Eddie's hand walking inside with her smiling. "Okay, Mommom."

Carlos had the sweetest foster mom. Little Pete was just about Max's age. He trailed Carlos to the door. Max waved a shy hand at the boy staying close to Eddie though.

Carlos gave Eddie a big hug and kiss. "Detective Eddie, look!"

"Wow Carlos," Eddie hugged him too. "How are you buddy?"

"Good," he smiled. "Look what I made?!" Carlos had Eddie's full attention.

Eddie knelt down so they were the same height. "Wow you made that it's so cool! Tell me about it buddy."

Carlos told her about the picture and the diorama. Pete chimed in about helping, leaving Max to sit and listen, not the object of his mother's attention.

That didn't sit well with the little boy who clenched his fists at these boys getting his Mommy's attention and not giving him any.

"How does this work?" Eddie asked. "Show me that." Carlos was a very smart boy and he was thriving in foster care, much better than he had been with his own parents.

Carlos moved in closer standing just in front of Eddie. Max clenched his fists seeing the boy get to close to his Mommom. Taking three small steps Max walked over. With both hands out he pushed the boy and stood firmly in front of Eddie. "My Mommom."

"Oh Max," Eddie scolded. "That is not nice. Say you are sorry right now. We do not hit or push."

"My Mommom," Max turned to her wanting a hug.

Eddie held him back, "Yes, I'm your Mommy but Carlos and Peter are playing too. You be good or you'll sit in time out.

"No time out!" Max stamped his foot. "My Mommom, not them. Mommom, play with Max..." Max said quietly.

"Detective Eddie, maybe we can play ball with him. Max do you like ball?"

Max looked up shyly still holding onto Eddie, "Catch," he replied. "Play Daddy."

"Well," Carlos dropped onto his knee. Peter had been jealous when he first came to the house, including him helped. "I have these… come on…" Carlos tried to get Max to go with him.

Max thought a few minutes, so Carlos tried again. "Come on, it's really fun. Detective Eddie can play too."

Max looked at Eddie then took Carlos' hand and went with the older boy. Eddie smiled, though she was a bit unsettled. Max never had a problem sharing her attention with April, she didn't know why Carlos intimidated him so much.

"I have had a lot of children through here in my day," Iris advised. "Boys are always more attached, they grow out of it, but he's a normal little boy that's not used to sharing his mother with another young man."

Eddie glanced at Max sighing, "I don't want him to think it's okay that he pushes another boy."

"He's only two years old, he's not always able to use his words," Iris advised. "All you can do is encourage him."

"That's what we try and do, he just..." Eddie sighed. "I just worry about him."

Max was having a hard time catching the ball on the Velcro mitt that Carlos gave him. He was getting frustrated and was kicking the ground. Eddie wanted to go to him, but Iris put a hand on her leg, "Wait, now, let him see if he can work things out for himself. You can't always catch them, honey."

Eddie felt terrible that she couldn't go help Max when he got frustrated. Carlos took the ball standing a little closer and guided Max to catch the ball.

Across town, Jamie was enjoying watching April. She was very methodical with how she made her choices. She looked at all the colors and put her tiny finger up by her lip. "This one..." A maple colored bear.

"Sure, honey, that's a good one. Let's get her stuffed then you can pick out two outfits okay," Jamie let April hold her new bear bringing her to the machine.

"How do it, Daddy?" she asked looking at the machine and how things went.

Smiling a worker came over to help. "Before you put the bear in you have to close your eyes and say, my best friend."

April pondered that for a minute, "I do that?" Jamie nodded, "Go on honey, close your eyes." He put his hand on her shoulder so she felt him when she shut her eyes.

Closing her eyes April repeated "my best friend" then opened her eyes. The worker put her bear under the machine letting it full up with stuffing.

Her eyes lit up as she saw her new bear full and huggable. "Come on, let's get her dressed. What outfit do you think you want?"

April took the bear into her arms giving it a hug following Jamie to the clothes area. Her eyes widened seeing all the choices, looking over every one carefully.

While April was preoccupied with her intense study of the vast selection of clothing, Jamie had the worker slide a recorder inside the toy. He record a verse from a poem that he had begun to recite with her when she fell asleep at night, this way, if he was working or away, she had that with her. She had his voice, a testimony of his father's love forever. "And so my little princess, before you go to sleep, remember I am your daddy and I am yours to keep."

"Dis," April pointed to a police uniform complete with a badge and belt. "Like Momma, Daddy..." She smiled and her eyes sparkled as she looked at Jamie.

Jamie smiled too kissing her head as he took the uniform down for her to dress the bear. It meant a lot she picked the police uniform over all the other options.

She saw a pretty dress with blue flowers that had a headband and shoes to match. "Oh..." She looked just like Eddie.

"Do you like that one too? You can get two so if you want that you can," Jamie saw her eyeing the dress and smiling.

"Pretty," she told him holding it up. "Pretty bear..." Jamie smiled. "Okay, that's the other outfit. Let's go pay for her, do you want to give her a name?"

April thought for a minute following Jamie to the counter. A young woman took the bear and both outfits handing Jamie a birth certificate card to fill out.

"Mommy," April said smiling. "You want to name your bear Mommy? You're her Mommy, what about something different. What about Lucy, that's a pretty name. Do you like Lucy?"

"No Mommy pretty bear pretty," April shook her head

"I see...Okay, then Mommy it is," Jamie laughed. "Do you need to potty?" Eddie had both children pretty well trained and he didn't want to be around if one had an accident on his watch.

April shook her head, "teddy first then potty." The cashier laughed ringing up April's new bear friend.

Jamie paid and headed to the family bathroom to take April potty. "You want to have chicken nuggets or pizza for lunch?" Jamie asked.

"Want sauce," she told him. "Go this..." She made a mock slurp noise. "Oh, you want to go to Spaghetti house?" Jamie hoped he got this right.

"Yes, Pasgetti house Pease Daddy." April clapped her hands excitedly.

Jamie laughed, "Okay, walk and hold my hand?" April shook her head, she wanted to carry her new bear around.

"You have to hold my hand April there's a lot of people I don't want you getting lost." April, didn't like that idea either, so she gave a big sigh, then obeyed.

"Good choice," Jamie praised holding her hand as they walked out together. The sidewalk was busy with crowds of people

"Say thank you for the cookie, Max," Eddie encouraged as Iris put out some food for them.

"Thank you," Max repeated grabbing a cookie from the plate taking a big bite out of it.

Eddie saw so much of herself in Max, and so much of Jamie. The way the boy wore his heart on his sleeve was all his father. The way he devoured a cookie, all her. "Good boy," Eddie rubbed his little head.

Max looked up at her stuffing the cookie in his mouth smiling as he chewed. "Did you have fun playing with Carlos, Max?" Eddie asked taking the little guy back to the car.

"Carlos nice play ball with Max," Max nodded rubbing his eyes, tired from the day.

"Yeah, I know it's nap time, huh" Eddie asked her near three year old son. "Tell me, what character do you want for your birthday? Do you want...?"

"Do you want Cat in the Hat?" Max thought a few minutes."

"No Cat in the Hat, Green eggs and Ham, Mommom, Sam I am.." he remembered the book.

"Okay, we'll talk to Daddy," Eddie smiled and put Max in his car seat to go home. She hoped Jamie had as much fun with April as she did with Max.

Jamie and April were at home when Eddie arrived with groceries and a sleepy Max. Jamie was playing with a puzzle, watching how quickly she assembled it. He was still amazed by her. "Hey, did you have fun today?" Eddie greeted quietly. She smiled gratefully as Jamie came to help with the groceries, kissing him softly.

Jamie kissed her back and carried a couple of the bags in. "We did, our little girl got her appetite from you. She ate the entire dish of kid's meat sauce for lunch."

Eddie smiled proudly, "that's my girl. Did you have fun with Daddy, April?" She paused on her way upstairs to lay Max down for a nap

"He's tired out huh?" Jamie smiled at the little guy as April replied. "Look, name her Mommy!" She showed the bear she made with pride.

"You named your bear Mommy oh honey, why Mommy?" Eddie was taken back that she picked that of all the other choices.

"She Mommy, police lady..." she showed. "Pretty..." April gave Eddie a sweet kiss. Jamie sat back and smiled, "That's Joe."

Eddie smiled, "that's very sweet honey. Let me bring Max up then I want to hear about your day." She carried Max to his room tucking him in for a nap before going back down

Eddie picked April up settling with her on her lap. "So did you have fun with Daddy today?"

"Yes make bear and have sketties." She replied. "Now puzzle...do it."

Laughing Eddie kissed her head letting April finish her puzzle, turning to Jamie. "Sounds like she had a fun day did you?"

April nodded, "Love you, love Daddy..." April gave Eddie a huge hug.

Too soon the weekend was over and both Jamie and Eddie were back at work, him on patrol with yet another new boot and Eddie in SUV, taking a disturbing report, the third such report for an affluent area of Manhattan.

"Sarge, good, I was about to come in and see you," Eddie replied. 'We have another one of those grab and go jobs just outside the district. What gets me is for every one of these we know about, there are like ten we don't." Eddie thought of her little kids, one day they would be teens too, and someone like this might go for them.

"Yeah I know but I just got word that you're needed on another assignment. Close the door." Renzulli sighed rubbing his eyes as he waited.

"I'm going to ask you this first," Renzulli began. "It's an undercover operation that will involve you to be associated with the brother of a known pedophile. The problem is we don't have anything on him but the testimony of witnesses that are too young or too damaged to be reliable. We need to catch him in the act.

Eddie didn't hesitate, "If you're asking whether I'm up for it, I am. I'm down Sarg."

"It will mean time away from your family, time away from Jamie..." Renzulli warned.

"I don't like anything that causes that," Eddie replied. "But I'm an SVU detective and sometimes cases come up, so what is this one about."

Eddie took out her notebook and listened to Renzulli go over the merits of the case. "So, from inside the house, and proximity to the brother, you need to get video, recording, something that implicates him. He's devious and he's crafty. The DA's office kicked this case twice. We need you, you have certain assets that…"

"I'm still young and hot?" Eddie laughed. "And I'm educated at Vassar and can move in that circle. Okay, I do want to talk to Jamie about it but I'm sure I can do this, this is going to be great. I'll get him Sarge, I promise."

"I know you'll go after this single-mindedly until we get him…this one is important to me, Janko,' Renzulli smiled. "Talk to Reagan tonight and if he's game, we'll start prepping you tomorrow."

Eddie was overjoyed at the chance to bring down a really bad guy. She was sure Jamie would be on board with it, but the night hours would be disruptive to the kids, that was worth considering.

Eddie waited until the children were bathed, read to, and tucked into their beds before she broached the subject with Jamie. Eddie curled her legs under her and looked at her handsome fiancé. "Jamie, I need to talk to you about, can you put the paper down?"

Jamie put the newspaper down and turned his full attention to Eddie. "What's wrong?"

"I talked to Renzulli today, and he talked to my CO…" Eddie began. "There's an opportunity for me to go undercover and get evidence on a pedophile that they would have dead to rights if one of his victims would speak. They are either too young, which is the worst of this, or too traumatized to speak up on their own and that's scary. He thinks if I can get close to him, through his brother, I can get the goods on him and lock him up for a long time."

Jamie nodded, "I can see the draw in that certainly as a cop, but as your fiancé.," Jamie replied "I'm much happier when you're in the precinct going over evidence, I know you're happier when I am too. What is the cover?"

"I don't know yet," Eddie replied. "Sarge just said it was under and that it would take time away from you and the kids, and we should discuss it. I wanted to be sure we did before I said yes."

"You want to do this then?" Jamie asked. "How much time…"

"Nights," Eddie replied. "Which I know is hard with two kids, but maybe Danny and Linda…"

"I can handle the kids, that's not the issue," Jamie sighed. "Undercover means danger and I'm just worried that something will happen."

Eddie ran her hand on the inside of Jamie's leg, "I know you are. I know you're worried," she replied. "But we are cops and our jobs make us worry. It's the nature of the beast, but at least here I know who the bad guy is and I know how to watch my back. I'm not his type, I'm female and I'm too old. His last victim, a boy Max's age. He was a happy smiling boy and now…he won't speak or even be consoled by his mother's touch. His own mother. I can't imagine that happening to our Max."

Jamie sighed, Eddie had her mind made up, "Okay, go ahead and check it out. Find out the particulars and maybe we can talk again before you give an answer?"

"I'm not sure about that, or how much I can share," Eddie replied. "You know I'll share everything I can with you."

Jamie smiled and gave Eddie a warm kiss on the lips. "I know you will. I just want you to be safe."

Eddie gave Jamie a tender kiss, "I just want those children to be safe."

Jamie couldn't argue with that.


	157. Chapter 157

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Seven

Eddie told Renzulli the next day that she and Jamie were willing to work things out for her to take the position. "I was hoping you would. On Thursday night, there is a bachelorette auction at the Manhattan Supper Club. You will be auctioned off and the hope and motivation is for Gregory Harris to bid on you. He's known to go for your type and he is very quick to pull women into the inner circle. He's an honest and upstanding citizen, but he's known to be a ladies' man and he is hopefully the easier way in."

Eddie sighed, Jamie was not going to like that. "And I'd what, be like his girlfriend?"

"The idea would be to begin a relationship and be involved in the house and day to day family operations to…"

Eddie nodded, she had it and she knew Jamie was going through the roof when she got this through to him. "I have just the dress," she replied. "Sign me up for that auction. What's my new ID?"

"Marie," Renzulli replied. "Your middle name. "Marie Jankovich, similar enough so it's not too foreign, but common enough that it won't be easy to trace. Do you have a dress you can use for this?"

"I have several," Eddie replied. "Once I have the evidence…"

"Once you have enough evidence, pictures, DNA, other items like that, we can bring you out and nail this guy to the wall," Renzulli smiled. "I know you are going to do just great!"

Eddie smiled, she knew she could do the job. She made the decision, at least for now, not to tell Jamie about her in, that might just be too much.

When Jamie got home from work, he found Eddie with Max and April sitting on the bed playing. Eddie was rifling through her closet looking for the perfect outfit to wear for the auction.

Jamie had a long, boring shift with his new partner that required coffee just to stay awake. Still yawning when he walked inside Jamie closed the door behind looking for Eddie and the kids

"In here honey," Eddie called out.

Heading into the bedroom Jamie found April and Max playing on the bed while Eddie looked through her closet. "What's going on in here?"

"I need a dress for my cover for Thursday," Eddie replied. "Pretty and sexy but not over."

Jamie kissed the kids then stood watching Eddie. "Absolutely not! Wear something like jeans and a shirt."

"Oh, I can't do that," Eddie replied. "It's at the supper club, we need gowns and fancy hair styles there."

"You didn't mention that Eddie," Jamie's tone firm.

"I only found that part out," Eddie replied. "It's my cover I can move in those circles."

Jamie shook his head, "No, Eddie, in front of guys all keeping their eyes on you, not happening."

"Jamie, I already gave my word," Eddie replied. "I would not give you a problem of you had a similar assignment."

"I'm not doing an undercover that required showing off my body, Eddie," Jamie stated.

"And neither am I!" She showed him a very lady like gown, v neck, full skirt and a silver belt. "I'll wear your comb and my cameo."

Jamie shook his head. "I still don't like this Eddie who is this guy you're going with?"

"I'm not actually going with him," Eddie sighed. "Jamie...let's talk about this after the kids go to bed, okay?' She knew when he heard about it he would flip out.

Sighing quietly, Jamie went to the bed sitting with .Max and April, watching them play, trying to smile.

Eddie laid out two gowns for cleaning and approval by the undercover detail. "I'm going to start supper, honey, you want to come and help Max practice? "Maxy, you have to practice piano, honey."

Max continued playing. He pretended he didn't hear Eddie. He handed April a toy to share with her. "Here April."

"Maxy," Eddie said again. "It's time to sing, come on now... Go with Daddy."

"No sing! Maxy play with April," Max shook his head watching his sister play.

"Max Reagan.." Eddie raised he eyebrows. "Do you want to sing with Mommom? Daddy can make dinner?"

"Okay," Max set his toys down sliding off the bed reaching a hand out for hers.

Jamie smiled as the music began. He took April to start dinner. April held her teddy bear, she wouldn't let it out of her sight. She pretended to feed her while Jamie cooked.

After practice and supper, Eddie began to talk to Jamie. "I debated on this but I don't want us to have secrets. It's a set course but I want to be open with you."

"Okay," Jamie already didn't like where this was going but sat back to listen anyway.

"Thursday the supper club is having a charity bachelorette auction and I'm supposed to infiltrate it and catch the eye of Guy Harris the brother of the suspect. If I can, I can get evidence."

Jamie heaved an exasperated sigh, "Eddie, I really don't like this. That is not easy work to do or safe."

"I have the same training you have, and the mark for this is NOT the perp," Eddie said firmly. "I didn't want to make you upset."

"Little late for that Eddie. What if something happens Eddie? Think of the kids," Jamie sighed.

"I'll have back-up, McKenna and his unit, Sarge would not put me in a bad way like that," Eddie replied. "I'm not his type, Jamie. He likes kids!"

Jamie sighed still not liking Eddie going on missions like this no matter how much training she had.

"Well..." Eddie looked at Jamie. "Say what you are thinking, let's talk."

"I don't know I just worry when you do assignments like this Eddie. You could have all the training in the world and I'd still worry."

"I know and worry is fine, I'd worry too," Eddie replied. "I'm doing my best to take safe jobs, and if I was being matched with a rapist that attacked blondes, busty full grown woman, I'd be worried but Max is his target, April is his target. Think for a minute, if someone touched their precious little heads..." Eddie took a breath. "I am the best with young victims, even your father said so, if it was them who would you want to hunt the scum that did it?"

"I would do it myself. I know, and I hear you Eddie. I can't help it we can't lose you any of us," Jamie went over taking her hands.

Eddie leaned up and placed a firm kiss on his lips, "You aren't going to lose me, I'm going to be fine, it won't take too long, he's escalated."

"I hope not, I love you Eddie and the kids do too," Jamie smiled still worried gently kissing her.

She cuddled up to him, "Now, come help me pick a dress so I look yummy hot but perfectly tasteful...and I want to wear your comb and cameo."

Jamie sighed, thinking it would better if he helped her, he dropped his hands.

They chose the navy gown, "I'm glad you want to keep my comb and cameo so close..." Eddie smiled, "It's not that I want to do this, Jamie. I have to. It is work and I do feel like I can help. I need you to understand."

"I do understand Eddie. I just, you know, worry these assignments are not like patrol."

"No, these are safer than patrol," Eddie replied. "People won't be shooting at me at the Manhattan Supper Club."

"Yeah but…" Jamie paused trying to come up with something frowning when he couldn't.

"Exactly," Eddie smiled. "Support me in this, please. I need that, I need you to believe in me."

"Of course, I support you Eddie always in anything you do."

"Good, then we'll get through this point..." Eddie replied. "We'll get through this and we'll go one together." Eddie slid her hands over his shoulders and tipped her head back to receive a deep kiss.

Eddie made sure to pay special attention to Jamie that night. She held him close and worked magic with her lips as she rained kisses all over his face. She wanted him to feel this from her, something she wold never show to another man, her love, the very essence of her being.

Her hands pulled Jamie's shirt up and off over his head, wanting to expose his warm, hard chest. He had the same idea, working her clothing off so that they could be as close as physically possible. He crushed her to his chest, feel her soft, beautiful body against him. His lips travelled to her ear, hers to his throat. He nibbled, she licked. Each action and reaction was in a perfect harmony, a give and a take that was unique to them.

He walked her over to the bed, pressing her back into the mattress. He was determined to leave a mark on her, to be sure their love was remembered. He wasn't' insecure, far from it, but he was staking his claim.

Eddie's thighs parted open as they fell upon the bed. He moved between them, moving away the clothing barriers that kept them apart. When he slid into her, and felt her muscles gently clamping down around him, he felt the feeling of coming home. She arched her back, pulling him into her and clinging to him for all she was worth. She often contemplated the frequency of their sex life, and the truth was, there was not one thing she would change, it was perfect, it was their way of expressing their love and that was good.

He murmured to her, crooning his love and his admiration for her beauty. She sighed, breathing her name into his ear. "I love you so," Eddie declared with a string of hot kisses along his jaw. "Oh I love you so…"

Eddie got to work a little late the next day. She went right to the prep office to begin to learn all about Guy Harris and his family.

The detectives pushed a file at her, "Here are little things you should be aware of before going."

Eddie studied the sheet, "So Guy, he's likely going to bid on me. Is there a way I'm supposed to entice him ahead of time?"

"Go up to him talk to him have a glass of wine in your hands but your pretty golden no pun intended."

"Gotcha, a little flirting to get him interested," Eddie replied. "I don't know if I remember how to flirt I've been married or with Jamie for so long..."

The detectives sighed unamused, "Recall quick we have uniforms in there to help but things could go south fast."

"As always..." Eddie replied. "Okay, I'm ready for this. I certainly am ready for this."

They exchanged a worried glance hoping she was ready for it.

Eddie was the best detective they had for this position, she was smart, she was beautiful. Eddie ignored the nervous looks those were common when newer UC ops saw her smaller statute. Still, that would be a benefit in this case. She opened the casefile and began to read about Guy Harris.

He was a major benefactor of several high end charities in New York, still, shockingly enough, none of the same ones that Tom had donated to. That was a plus for her cover, and said a lot about the man that she was going to be getting involved with.

He liked animals and children, he held an executive position in his family's company, in many ways he was exactly like Tom, it was those qualities in Tom that attracted her to him in the first place.

The next two days Eddie spent prepping. Jamie jumped in on doing that with her, quizzing her on the family's industry, which to his chagrin was firearms. "Great, just what we need you infiltrating a family that owns a gun shop!"

"I'll be fine, I'm supposed to be an enthusiast about the product, so that will let them know I at least know what I'm doing," Eddie replied. "They would be less likely to mess with me then."

Jamie nodded, "You're a tough cookie, no one is going to mess with you."

Eddie smiled, Jamie had been leery at first but now he was totally on board and wanted Eddie to succeed. "Okay, so you walk up to Guy, and smile and flirt a bit. Then you mention his family's website and that you are the proud owner of one of their firearms. By then, if it were me, I'd be hooked."

"That's' the idea,' Eddie laughd. "He bids on me and he wins, then I have a date or two with him and get closer to the brother. The goal is to be in an out of the op in a week since we have reason to believe he'll be on the hunt within that time frame. I need to get DNA, we have some small samples. Even if I can get DNA from the brother, it's a chance. Then I'm out and back to regular life. It shouldn't take long at all Jamie, not really."

Jamie nodded, "Do your best work and time will take care of itself. Be safe, promise?"

Eddie nodded that she would. They settled back on their bed with the candles lit and silently held one another. After tomorrow, the holding time would be a bit less for the duration of her assignment, she'd be out at night working. Jamie planned to take full advantage of these moments while he had the chance. April, however, had other ideas, she began crying in her bed. "I'll get her, keep reading," Jamie told Eddie then went off to check on his little girl, his Daddy's baby.

"What's wrong, peanut?" he asked sitting down on her bed. "You have a bad dream?"

She sniffled and shrugged, she had woken up afraid, that was all she knew. "It's okay…" Jamie pulled her on his lap. "Daddy's here….Daddy's got you."

April turned and cuddled into Jamie's arms, cuddling up to him for all she was worth. He loved these times, when his smart little peanut was still just a two year old needing her father's arms to scare things away and keep her safe. She didn't speak, she just sighed and held on tight. Jamie kissed her head softly, he'd wait until she was ready.

Eddie walked in a vision of beauty scanning the already crowded room for her target. She sighed seeing him near the drinks starting over slowly casully leaning forward ordering a beer.

"I'd have pegged you as a martini girl," Guy smiled. "Kind of glad you aren't. Guy Harris."

"Marie," Eddie reached a hand out shaking his smiling, eyes twinkling up enhanced by her mascara.

"Pretty name for a pretty lady," guy replied. Eddie arched her brow. "You own Harris Rifle Company, don't you?"

"Good guess," Guy flashed a white tooth grin at her.

"I am a very proud owner," Eddie smiled. "And I am in the auction tonight? Are you bidding?"

"Well I wasn't going to but I think you just changed my mind. I'll look for you," he winked.

"I'm number 12," she winked. "I better go get ready."

Guy watched her walk away smirking heading over to bid for her.

Eddie lined up back stage and waited for her number to be called. The ballroom was beautiful, decorated for charity. Eddie relaxed, this was the fun part.

"Time for bed guys," Jamie called out. "Max, come here let me see those hands."

Max walked over holding out both hands to show Jamie wriggling his fingers. "Story daddy please."

"Yes story time," Jamie smiled. "It's Max turn to put pick. What book do you want?'

Max thought, "Goodnight Max," he answered clapping his hands. They always changed the ending to add the kids' names

"Goodnight, Max it is," Jamie smiled and walked both kids to the big bed for their book.

They slid on the bed each on a side leaning against Jamie to follow along as he read.

Jamie tucked the children into their beds for the night after their stories and gave kisses and hugs. "You sleep tight," he told them and put on their night lights.

Jamie laid back on the bed, it was awkward not having Eddie beside him and not knowing when she was coming home. He missed her, he really missed her.


	158. Chapter 158

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Eight

Before Eddie realized it, it was her turn. So far, the lowest bid was the starting bid of $500 and the highest was $2,000. She hoped that it would be more than that, just from vanity's standpoint. "And next we have number 12, the lovely Marie Jankovich. Marie is from Queens, New York and enjoys going target shooting, doing yoga and Pilates, and eating ethnic foods. Her dream date is a Taste tour of Manhattan…we'll open Marie's bidding at $500.00.

Eddie stepped out and turned around on the stage. She smiled and batted her eyes making eye contact with Guy. She hoped she wet his appetite enough to get him to bid, but he was not the first bidder

"$500," said a shorter blonde man in the front row.

"$500," the auctioneer said. "Do I hear $550...?" The bidding got up to $2500.00 before Guy finally spoke up. "$5,000.00 in cash," he declared Rhett Butler style.

The room gave a collective gasp, that was the highest big so far. "Did I hear that correctly, Sir? $5,000 cash for the lovely Marie?"

"You heard it," Guy replied firmly. "$5,000 in cash."

"$5,000 going once, $5,000 going twice, sold to Mr. Harris for $5,000!" The auctioneer declared. "You can pay right over here and pick up your date."

Eddie put on her best smile and went to meet Guy. "Well, you weren't kidding," she smiled. "I do hope you think I'm worth it, it's all for charity."

"I'm pretty certain you are," Guy replied. "I'd love to have our date as soon as possible, tomorrow night? I can make the arrangements and pick you up at eight?"

Eddie smiled, "Not on a first date, I'll meet you…Outside 30 Rock at 7:45?"

"It's a date… for now…would you care to join me for a dance later?"

Eddie took a breath, she didn't' like this. She did not like how this felt. She had been bid on and won like a piece of meat, and now she had to stay for the sake of the case when all she wanted to do was go home to Jamie and kids, curl up in their bed and be with the love of her life. But the case needed her, little vulnerable children needed her, she had to smile and press on, so she did. "I'd love to…"

It was after midnight when Eddie finally got home. The apartment was quiet and dark as she padded through the house. Eddie stepped into the house and first peeked in on April. The little girl was clutching her new teddy bear in its police uniform, sleeping soundly. Eddie kissed her head before going to look at Max. The boy was stirring and sleeping a little uneasy. Eddie sat on the edge of the bed, as he clutched his sleepy time bear, and stroked his head. "Mommom is here, don't be scared, Mommom is here." The soft tones of her voice soothed the boy and he sighed and settled down.

Jamie was sleeping on his back, on arm thrown over his eyes. Eddie smiled at how adorable he looked sound asleep that way. Eddie slid out of her navy blue gown and placed it on the hanger to be dry cleaned. Eddie washed her face then slid into bed beside Jamie. His scent was calming, she missed that while she was out tonight.

Jamie stirred and smiled, "Hey, you're home."

"Yeah," Eddie replied and laid down in her bra and panties. "Long night but I went for $5,000 and to the right bidder, we're on the right track for sure."

Jamie smiled, "Only $5,000 a bargain…" He put his arms around her and held her tight. "I missed you tonight."

"Me too," Eddie sighed and stretched out, lying across his chest. "I'm so tired…and my feet hurt."

Jamie smiled, "You need something honey?"

"Yeah, you…" Eddie replied. "Hold me tight…I just want to lie here and be held."

"Are you okay?" Eddie was a little more clingy than usual.

"I'm fine, I just missed you. I'm used to being with you and tucking our babies in. Max was restless and…I just wanted to be here, that's all."

Jamie kissed her head and rubbed her back, "I wanted you to be here too. But right now the job needs you and we have to work with it…You'll do great and we'll be back to normal soon, I promise…Eddie…"

She was already sound asleep, right where she belonged.

Jamie had tour the next morning, and Eddie studied for her date that night with Guy. The charity had been for Wildlife, not a circle Tom moved in. He was a sport hunter, so it was not likely too many of the people he associated with would be at any of these functions. That night, they were going on the Taste of New York tour, and would get to know each other.

She chose a simple outfit for that, a tan flippy skirt that came to the knee and a black top with wedge heels. Marie, her persona, was a secretary that at times, babysat for her boss' children. That would give her some down time to spend with her own children, though Eddie still believed she could wrap the case up in a week or less.

For the rest of the day, Eddie took the kids to the park, then took Max to music. He loved it especially when Eddie listened as he worked on his music. Eddie watched April doing a puzzle and playing tea set while Max worked with his teacher. "The Halibut is happy fish…" he sang in perfect tune. Eddie beamed with pride.

Jamie got home an hour before Eddie had to leave for the decoy house. She secured her hair in a loose ponytail and under toned her make up to slightly change her usual appearance. Jamie surveyed her, "Well, you look better when we go out so I'm happy to see you didn't pull out all the usual stops."

"Jealous much, Reagan?" Eddie laughed. "You are the only man for me."

"I know, but I don't like you going out with someone else. Call it my Fred Flintstone complex," Jamie joked. "Be safe, honey. I love you."

He tipped his head and placed a firm kiss on his lips, exploring her mouth, staking his claim, leaving his mark. "Mmm," Eddie replied with a smile. "I love you too. I'll be home as quickly as I can. You two be good for Daddy while Mommom works. Max, practice for Daddy. Halibut song with both hands okay, make Mommom proud."

Max smiled and to Eddie's delight, went right to the piano and started to play from memory. Eddie didn't want to leave, but she had no choice, if she wanted to think about a leave, she would do that, but for now she had to become Marie Jankovich, single, sexy secretary who had a date with destiny.

Eddie was at the house ten Minutes before Guy arrived. He was dressed in dark tan pants and a black polo shirt. They matched. He smiled amused, "hey great minds think alike I guess. You look lovely."

"Thanks," Eddie smiled. "So I read once you get the Indian food you can't feel your tongue, so let's go there last."

"Sure," guy laughed handing her a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

Eddie smiled, "They are lovely. Thank you. Is that cat hair in your shirt?"

Guy's cheeks turned slightly pink as he brushed the piece of hair away swiftly. "Yeah I have a gray kitten she likes climbing all over me."

"Oh, I'd love to meet her," Eddie smiled. "But I'm hungry let's eat.'

Extending an arm guy smiled walking out with Eddie. "So you love animals too? Do you have any?"

"No," Eddie replied. "I'm thinking of adopting a dog, but not sure of a breed yet. Did you see the new Panda at the zoo?"

"Of course, went there the day after he arrived. Poor little fella was so shy," Guy sighed remembering how the panda stayed close to the fence.

"He was prancing and playing when I took...took my friend and her kids, he warmed up. Oh is this your car?"

"Well that's good to hear I felt so bad. Yeah this is her," Guy smiled opening the door for her winking a bit catching her eye. Eddie got in the black, shiny convertible and buckled in. She was trying not to enjoy the new opportunities and focus on work. The work was exhilarating though, being someone else, and having another life. Guy went and started up the engine.

Guy pulled out heading towards their first stop in no hurry do so he could spend as much time with Marie as possible. She was beautiful, with gorgeous long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.

They were taken to the best table and given their samples, "Mr. Harris...bon appetite."

"Thank you," Guy gave the waiter a smile turning back to Eddie. "Ladies first."

While Eddie was eating with Guy, Jamie was doing bedtime with the kids. Max was having none of his bath. He ran off once able hiding under the kitchen table backed up against the wall. "No bath daddy."

"Yes, bath," Jamie replied. "You puuu stinky. Come on little guy, hop in there" Jamie picked him up as he kicked and squealed. April came over, "Play boat"

Max looked at her reaching out with two hands for the boat. "Thank you April," Max made boat noises moving the toy around. Jamie got both kids to the bathroom and plopped them into the tub. Max pushed the boat to April sharing it with her splashing o make the boat jump laughing in absolute delight.

Jamie smiled and took out his phone to video tape the two kids playing. This is what Eddie was missing, she was missing out on their kids' fun and these moments of innocence. That hurt."

"Oh I am so full," Eddie groaned as she laid back in the car. "This was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. Would it be too much trouble to go back to your place and...?" Guy smiled, "You want to see my kittens. Of course, then I'll see you home if you like." Eddie looked at the clock, it was almost nine. The children would be bed by now.

"Sure let me just freshen up," Eddie gave a gentle smile not wanting to set off any alarms and mess up the assignment. She took her pocketbook to the ladies room in back. Eddie used the down time to shoot a text to Jamie, "Going well and I'm safe. Love to you and kiss the kids. See you soon." Eddie fixed her face and took a breath.

Guy was talking to the waiter smiling handing him the check back. "Ah welcome back are you ready to go?"

"I am," Eddie smiled. "I hope you don't mind me inviting myself, I just love animals. Perhaps you can assist me sooner or later, in selecting a puppy."

"I will offer any help that I can. It's so nice to find someone who loves animals like I do. And I don't mind whatsoever I'd like to spend more time with you." Guy extended an arm for her.

Eddie hooked her arm with Guy's and they went back to his car. He lived in a lovely Westchester mansion, not unlike the one she shared with Tom. The similarities to her first dates with Tom were striking and scary. They were greeted by a small gray and white kitten waiting by the door, meowing the minute she saw guy. He rubbed against his leg for attention.

Guy scooped her up in his hand. "He's the only one of this litter, but I have a set of bottle feeders that are itching to eat I bet. Do you want to help?"

"Sure oh look how small he is, hello there handsome boy," Eddie whispered to the tiny kitten continuing to rub against Guy affectionately.

Eddie pet her head and smiled brightly as another tall man, with slightly lighter hair entered the room, "Marie, this is my younger brother Donald. Don, this is Marie Jankovich, I was lucky enough to be the highest bidder at the charity auction."

The minute Donald stepped in Eddie felt a cold sensation run through her body. Maybe it was the way he stared at her with thin eyes but he was creepy. She smiled, "I'm glad to meet you." His hand was clammy and sticky, she hated to even be in this close of proximity to this man. The mother in her started to spark up. "Guy was showing me his kittens, do you like animals too Donald?"

"Yeah they're okay I don't like them as much as my brother though. So you're his prize huh, not bad," Donald grinned forcing Eddie to hold back from getting sick.

"I'm glad to hear that," Eddie smiled. "Guy, you were going to give me a tour of the house and show me your bottle kitties."

The babies finally went to sleep with their stuffed animals, Max always had a harder time going to sleep than April did. Jamie laid the boy down after rocking him with his bear for more than an hour. He looked at the clock, it was movie time for them, but he was by himself. Sighing Jamie checked his phone flipping through channels hoping to hear from Eddie. He stopped at one movie, "Eddie would love this one."

Mona Lisa Smile...so much of their lives were like that. How much of their lives had changed. Now when Eddie smiled, it was genuine, not like with Tom and not like with this man Guy. Jamie turned his head to look at the empty spot where Eddie would curl beside him wishing she was pressed against him.

He sighed and turned the movie off, he got up and went to the kitchen starting to clean up and keep busy. She'd be home soon. That's what he kept saying once the dishes were washed, then put away, toys organized better. His eyes always looking at the clock. It was getting close to midnight, and Eddie still wasn't home. How long did it take to eat some dinner? Then again it was Eddie. She texted him around nine thirty. And not since.

He knew she was on a case and couldn't text so Jamie retreated upstairs to the bedroom alone changing and climbing into bed. The sheets felt so cold without Eddie. Jamie held tight to Eddie's pillow. It was after 12 now...where was she? Jamie laid in bed holding the pillows unable to fall asleep until Eddie came home safe.

Guy took her arm offering her the kitten he was holding as they started the tour. Three more kittens played around in the kitchen. They put the older cat down and Guy made some goat's milk formula. "Here, you hold the baby like so, and you just squeeze a little of the milk in and watch them go. It's something to see, their little ears...just watch!"

Eddie did watch amazed at how gentle he was with the kittens. "Oh that is to sweet can I try." The other kittens meowed reminding them they wanted to be fed too.

Guy smiled, "Here, feed Monty, he gets so hungry. We nicknamed him Piggy." Eddie took the little scrap and began to feed him. His tiny pin like claws poked her hands as he ate, but she didn't mind. It reminded her of feeding her kids as babies, they were so innocent and helpless. And that's why she was there to make sure that no one else's baby was hurt by this monster.

When he finished the small kitten yawned, clawing at the bottle like he wanted more milk, making Eddie laugh. "He sure is a hungry little guy think he wants more. You are so tiny."

"He does, but he can't overeat either, just let him gnaw on you and he'll fall asleep..."

The kitten meowed demanding more, but accepted Eddie's finger to gnaw on. Settling against her quietly suckling until she fell asleep.

No matter what he did, Jamie couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, he kept getting up for a drink of water, and then to use the bathroom. The time was crawling by, each time he looked at the clock, or worse, rolling backward. Finally, he gave up the idea of sleep and sat on the couch watching the TV on low so it didn't' disturb the kids. When Jamie had checked on them, April's tiny foot had been sticking out of her covers, and Max had his chubby little arms over his head. He photographed those moments, he didn't want Eddie to miss out.

It was late night TV for Jamie as he waited. He wanted to call her, check on her, be there to back her up, but their partnership had changed. She had a team looking out for her now, besides tonight was just the introduction. Still, the job and the man, we're taking her time up, taking her away from him and their family. They had lost so much time already waiting for her to be able to leave Tom, and now she was being romanced by a younger version of him. That stung, that he couldn't give her and April the things that Tom could. Instead, Eddie had the money at her disposal, and sometimes her use of it was extreme, but never selfish. He'd rather be arguing over money than sitting her alone in the dark. Even when the argued they were connected and he missed that tonight.

"I had a great time," Eddie smiled. "It was so much fun. I loved playing with the kittens."

"I'm glad you had fun Marie because it was great hanging out with you. I'd like to see you again," guy said softly.

"I'd like that too. I'm not free tomorrow but I am on Friday. Do you live with your brother?" Eddie wanted to see how forthcoming Guy was.

"Yeah but he has his own small fridge and everything so I don't really see him much. I'd like to see you Friday. ."

"Okay, it's a date, pick me up at 8?" Eddie asked and smiled, batting her eyes. She hoped he wouldn't try to kiss her, not yet.

Smiling guy took her hands leaning in and kissed her cheek. "I can't wait until Friday."

"I'll see you then," Eddie replied and stepped back into the safe house. As soon as Guy was gone she rushed home to her Jamie.

Jamie had dozed off on the sofa, Eddie found him there when she got home just after one in the morning. She smiled at his sleeping form, and gently kissed his pursed lips. "Hey, I'm home, babe," she replied. "Sorry, I'm so late."

"It's all right," Jamie replied. 'As long as you're okay. How did it all go?"

"It was good, it was just a set up, you know?" Eddie replied. "He's a huge animal lover, so we started to build a bond over that. I told him I was too and we played with his little kittens. Also, I got to meet Donald Harris and Jamie…" Eddie shook her head.

"What? Did he try something on you already?"

Eddie sighed, "He talked about me like I was a piece of ass and Guy might treat women like that too, but he drove me to the decoy house and he didn't' try to kiss me…"

"Good, I'm the only one that should be doing that," Jamie replied quickly.

"You're the only one I WANT to do that, but you aren't the only one that's going to do it, Jamie. If I'm going to be dating this guy, it's part of my cover to let him become affectionate, otherwise it won't play."

"I understand," Jamie sighed. "I just missed you so much tonight. I didn't know it would feel like this, you know?"

"I know," Eddie replied. "I do…" She sat on his lap and laid her head on his chest. "I missed you too, I was thinking about you and the kids all night. I missed holding them and kissing them goodnight, I missed lying here with you and watching TV, all the domestic things that are so special to us. But, Donald, he's a monster. I can feel it, and the idea of him hurting someone's baby, that just turns my stomach. I have to do this Jamie, I have to."

The determination in Eddie's voice told Jamie how serious she was about this man. "I know you have to, and like you said, we'll work it all out together. I'm just being the jealous fiancé, I don't like another man being around you. Even if his name is Guy…what kind of name is that?"

"Jamie…" Eddie raised her eyebrow. "Stop it. Let's go to bed, it's very late. You have to work in the morning."

Jamie nodded and stood up with Eddie in his arms, carrying her to their bed. Her arms went around his neck as the lips met…


	159. Chapter 159

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Nine

Jamie worked the next day, an early tour. He was up with April, she was an early riser like her Daddy and took her for a jog in the stroller before getting ready for work. Eddie was up making eggs when he arrived, still very tired from the late night.

"There you are," Eddie smiled. "How would you like your eggs this morning?"

"Looking at me," Jamie replied as Eddie sprayed the egg pan to make the meal. "You're up early."

"I'm off today, I can relax later when they go to sleep for their naps," Eddie replied. "Or maybe we'll go to play care and…"

"No!" Max and April both said loudly. "No play care…stay with Mommy." April put her arms around Eddie's leg. Twice now she missed her mother putting her to bed, she was fine with Jamie and other caregivers during the day, but at night she wanted her mother. Max wanted his mother all the time.

"Okay, honey," Eddie replied. "But we'll play quietly because Mommy is tired okay?"

"Get hot dog," Max insisted. "Go get and shake…" He referred to his favorite drink Yoo-hoo as a shake.

"We'll see, Max," Eddie replied and served the kids their breakfast with Jamie. It was just seven when her burner phone went off. Eddie moved to check it, curious who had that number besides Guy. There was a picture of the kittens having their morning bottles with the caption, "Hey gorgeous!"

Eddie had to smile, the animals were so cute with how they climbed up their bottles and flapped their ears. "What?" Jamie asked. "When did you get a new phone?"

"This is my phone for the op," Eddie replied. "Guy sent me a picture of the kittens playing."

"He's pretty forward with that, isn't he?" Jamie asked. "It's only 7am."

"I know, he feels like there's a connection with the animals so…" Eddie replied. "Don't worry, I'm sure he's just touching base since things feel so new. You be safe today. I love you."

Eddie gave Jamie his travel mug of coffee and he headed out.

On and off all day, the burner cell beeped with little messages. Eddie would, at selected times, shoot them back, she was after all supposed to be working. She took the kids down to the hot dog stand and they ate in the courtyard of the apartment. When they napped, Eddie texted Guy back then took a nap. That night, she and Jamie planned a romantic dinner after the kids were in bed. It was important to them both to keep their connection alive and well.

Jamie got home at 5pm and helped Eddie get the kids dinner ready. Max and April both loved cut up spaghetti and meat sauce so that was an easy fix. Jamie recalled his day for her while they made dinner and watched Max and April coloring. "No, Maxy," April said when he made the tree red. "No no, not red tree. Green…"

Max sighed, "Tree is too red!"

"Is it fall, Max?" Jamie asked. "In your picture?"

Max nodded, "See, is too…" Sometimes April's smarts got annoying for the normal three year old. He got tired of coloring. "Go sing…" He slid down and went to find his toy trumpet, blowing some perfect notes on it and marching up and down.

The burner phone went off as Eddie cooked, Jamie rolled his eyes, saying nothing. He was trying to be patient, but the family was giving up so much time with Eddie as it was. To her credit though she waited until she was finished cooking to check it.

Eddie and Jamie picked on some dinner to hold them over. The Palm was delivering an elegant meal for two at 830pm. Jamie put on a video for them to watch. Most of the time, the burner phone was going off. Even Max got agitated with the chimes and covered his ears. He didn't like it one bit, not unlike his father.

Bedtime was harder that night, neither one of the kids wanted to go down. Both children were clinging to Eddie asking for one more lullaby or one more story. Eddie obliged them to a point then, "It's time for night night. Mommy will make pancakes in the morning, snuggle up and go to sleep."

With the promise of the morning, both children went to bed.

The little ones finally fell asleep just as dinner from the Palm was delivered. Jamie set the table with candles and wine while Eddie slipped into her nicest satin nightie

It took Eddie time to get ready finally coming down in a red nightie that hugged her body. She curled her hair just for him

Jamie smiled, "You look so beautiful, so very beautiful."

"Thank you Mr. Reagan," Jamie held Eddie gently in his arms. "This is great, everything looks wonderful." Eddie smiled softly.

Jamie pulled Eddie's chair out and then sat down across from her. He hadn't even poured the wine before her burner phone started going off.

Eddie quickly reached to silence the object checking who was calling then looked back up at him. "You made this so nice."

"I really missed you last night," Jamie sighed. "I had no idea how much I would."

"I missed you too and the kids you were all I thought about the whole night," Eddie admitted.

The phone went off again and then again, "He seems really taken with you already."

"Yeah we hit it off which is good makes it easier for me to get information from him," Eddie nodded slowly.

"But he's kind of incessant, no?" Jamie looked at her phone. He was irritated she didn't turn the sound off. Eddie cut her meat "Oh, so good."

Jamie sighed taking small bites trying to push the anger back and enjoy dinner with Eddie. "Your favorite and your favorite wine."

"And my favorite man..." She batted her eyes and smiled at him.

He smiled, "I'm glad to hear that. Tonight is going to be special." They made conversation over their dinner, holding hands and lightly kissing.

"I love you, Eddie," Jamie whispered playing with her hair gently tucking it behind her ear.

"I love you" she replied and leaned up for a kiss as her phone rang, not a text a call.

Jamie sighed pulling back. "Eddie, I'm trying but I really want the night to be just us. Is that too much to ask?"

"No, not at all," Eddie replied. "It's not at all. I'm totally devoted to our time together."

Sighing quietly Jamie moved an arm around Eddie leaning in cradling her while placing kisses gently.

Eddie received Jamie's kisses and touches, snuggling to him, running her hands over his chest. The entire time they were kissing the telephone was going off. They both tried to ignore it but Jamie felt Eddie' stiffen when the chime sounded, her mind was not on them, and his was rapidly getting distracted. They tried kisses, touching, snuggling, but no matter what Eddie tired or Jamie did, things just weren't happening for them. "Answer the phone, it's annoying."

Eddie sighed apologetically picking up the phone, "Hello?" She met Jamie's eyes reaching for his hand.

"Hey, Guy…" Eddie couldn't help but smile when she heard the kittens mewing in the background. "Yeah, I've been thinking of you too. She went into the bedroom and sat on the bed with the door shut.

Jamie sighed, frustrated by the feeling Eddie was neglecting them. He stood from the chair quickly pacing across the living room while Eddie talked on the phone.

Eddie came out of the bedroom, without the cell phone, still in her nightie. "I'm so sorry, it won't happen again...now where were we?" Eddie asked snuggling to him. Jamie sighed, he wasn't in the mood anymore.

"Forget it Eddie, if you have to leave go ahead," Jamie's voice was quiet and soft. "Your attention isn't on us today, it's on the case."

"No, I don't have to leave," Eddie replied. 'I'm seeing Guy tomorrow and he thinks this is real so..." Eddies sighed. "I told him I was going to bed, I'm sorry, Jamie."

"I just want a little time with you Eddie, but you seem more interested in the case then spending time with me," Jamie sighed quietly

"That's not true," Eddie replied. 'It's just new and I have to be careful right now to make sure Guy stays interested. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, I love you, I don't want to hurt you...

Cupping her chin with his hand Jamie gazed into her eyes. "I just want some attention from my beautiful Eddie. Some time together..."

"I'm here, now..." She reached up to kiss his lips and touch him all over, making sure she gave her full attention. Jamie held her close, but the romance of the evening had been shattered. "It's really late, let's clean up tomorrow and get to bed."

Jamie picked her up stopping to blow the candles out before continuing to their bedroom. "I love you Eddie I love you so much."

One week later, Eddie was gone more than she was home. The case was going much more slowly than anyone would like, and Guy's feeling for Eddie were intensifying. Eddie was home after midnight most night, she was exhausted, but wanted to spend time with her family. She slid into bed with Jamie, his arms went around her. Just a half hour later, Max woke screaming.

Eddie heard Max first throwing the covers back and quickly rushing to his bedroom. "It's okay honey, Mommy's here you're okay Maxy."

Max was awake this time, it was an honest to goodness nightmare, not a terror. "Daddy, Daddy..." he sobbed. "Daddy..."

"It's okay, Max. Daddy is here," Jamie assured enveloping his son in a tight hug.

He usually wants me when he's scared, Eddie thought to herself. Max held onto Jamie and sobbed, "Big monster...big for Max! Eat Max all up!

"No, buddy, Daddy chased all the monsters away; they won't bother you I promise. It's okay Max you're ok," Jamie rocked his son slowly.

Max's cries died down to whimpers and he fell asleep in Jamie's arms. Eddie was saddened by that, she was glad the nightmare was over, but it did sting that Max didn't want her. Jamie noticed her upset.

"He's just getting used to me being here at night," Jamie soothed. "When you are home again and this is all over he'll come around, he's just off his security right now, they both are. They are used to you being here and right now, let's face it Eddie, you aren't."

"I have to…" Jamie put his hand on her shoulders. "I know, honey. I know you have to focus on this case and bring this guy down, I know that. I love you so much, I need you to finish this, okay? Tomorrow is Sunday, and you won't be at the table with our family! Instead, you'll be with Guy's family. I'm trying to support you in this Eddie, I really am, but it's hard, it's hard on me and on our kids."

Jamie gave her a kiss, then went back to bed as Eddie watched Max and April sleep. She was missing so much in just this one week. It's been over a week since she made love with Jamie, they had been making love four or five times a week before this and now…she missed that connection. She appreciated Jamie's support, but what she wanted was to connect when she was home. That wasn't happening and that was hard on them all.

Eddie headed off to the zoo for a date with Guy while Jamie took the kids to family dinner the next afternoon. "Go in and wash hands with grandpa," Jamie told them. "Go on."

"Hey Kid," Danny greeted. "Where's Eddie?"

"She's working," Jamie replied with a bit of an edge to his voice. "Danny picked it up immediately. "Not so tickled about that are you?"

Jamie sighed, "It's a hard job, and I know that, any UC is. But this man is all over her. He blows up her burner phone, she's out four or five nights a week with him not home until two or three in the morning. When she is at home now, the kids even gravitate to me and that's upsetting her."

"Of course," Danny replied. "Jack and Sean did that with me all the time, but I was Daddy. It's strange for them to do it to Mommy. It's a big job, you're right."

Jamie sighed, "I think she's just too involved. We can't even have the nights we have together without the burner going off and she's answering it like she's sitting home alone on the couch, not being a fiancée and mother to two toddlers. Max is actually very angry about it, he doesn't share time well so…"

Danny looked at the babies with Linda, she was having them mix biscuit dough with their newly washed hands.

"I know, but it can't be for much longer. This guy's brother is an escalated child molester, and I'm sure she's seeing Max and April's faces when she's doing this job."

"I know she is, and the cop in me understands, but the domestic side of me is angry she's not dividing her time a little better for their sake," Jamie sighed. "I'm proud of her, and I support her, so I'm going to ride it out until she gets this guy."

Danny clapped Jamie on the back, "Good for you. When is the next time you two have alone time? If you need a little break, Linda and I can help…"

"Don't worry about that," Jamie replied. "We haven't exactly been having too much luck there. The longest dry spell we've had but we just can't seem to make that part work with the extra stress."

"Been there," Danny replied. "Did that for three months once…good lucky to you."

Jamie rolled his eyes, "If this thing lasts that long…I'm going to the funny farm. Come on, let's get a beer."

"Hey Jamie," Danny called out as Jamie reached into the fridge. "Is Eddie getting physical with this guy? I mean, for her cover?"

"I don't think more than she has to but he doesn't let her breathe when they are apart, so probably," Jamie replied.

"Just keep an eye on that, you know those things run in families. He might look like Prince Charming but…" Danny raised his eyebrow. "It can be dangerous."

Jamie knew too well that was true.

"You see," Eddie smiled looking at the little Panda and it's mother. "He's warmed up a lot to the guests." She sipped her lemonade and walked with Guy's arm around her. If she shut her eyes, she could pretend it was her Jamie holding her and they were spending a romantic day. That made it palatable for her, and helped her get through. She missed Jamie and the kids terribly, it was horrible for all of them. They were missing their connection and their family time. It had been a long time since she had been with Jamie in that special way, they were very close and physical but all of that was gone now, more than two weeks. She tried but something always got in the way, usually Guy.

In a few days they were going to dinner with Luke and Kara, their first dinner as a married couple. Matt had the boys for two weeks and Frank was going to babysit Max and April. Eddie thought back to that morning, April had colored a very pretty picture of a forest and animals. She got most of it in the lines and had slipped off her chair to show it off. She toddled right past Eddie and showed the picture to Jamie. He was the primary parent now, and that loss Eddie felt deep in her heart.

Guy noticed a pensive look on Eddie's face, "Marie, are you all right? Are you upset about not being able to go out on Thursday this week?" Guy had a meeting the same night as the planned dinner with Kara and Luke. "I can still talk with you but we have to cancel the theater only."

"It's not that," Eddie relayed. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. We've been out late a lot and then I'm working so…"

Guy nodded, "Well, let's sit down then and watch the monkeys play."

Eddie laughed, she had a hard time stopping herself from saying that was her kids' favorite thing to do as well, and she took a deep breath. "Good idea, can we get cotton candy?"

Guy agreed and went to buy it for her. Guy had yet to invite her to the house for more than a few hours, as if he didn't' want her to associate too much with Donald, but earlier he had surprised her, inviting her to have dinner with him, Donald, and their older sister the following Sunday for Donald's birthday. That would be her in, she could profile Donald and try to snoop a bit while everyone was occupied. If she didn't' get something soon, he might make another grab and all of this would be for nothing. She could tolerate the strain a bit now if it was going to save a precious little child from being hurt, that was her reasoning, but at the rate things were going…

The week was the same as the two previous ones. Eddie was out more than she was in, she and Jamie were like two ships passing in the night with a quick hug and peck on the cheek. Eddie was looking forward to Thursday, dinner with her friends and Jamie.

The meal was fabulous, Eddie and Jamie both had seconds. "This was one of the best meals and I've been eating out a lot. Everything was terrific."

Luke and Kara held hands across the table, "We did it all together,' Kara bragged. "Luke is quite a cook and he's a very good finger fixer." Luke kissed Kara's bandaged thumb. Their relationship, the cooking together, the kissing, the touching, it was the Jamie and Eddie of old, pre-Guy, pre-undercover. The part they both missed.

Through most of the meal, Eddie's burner cell was going off. It was clear even Luke and Kara were getting annoyed with that part of it. "Does this happen all the time now?" Luke asked Jamie. He sensed the other man's upset.

"Yes," Jamie replied. "She's working even when she's not with the undercover operation."

"That's a little excessive though isn't it?" Luke replied.

"It's hard to ignore though,' Eddie replied. "I do try not to answer."

Luke sighed, "There's a simple solution. Allow me…" He reached for the phone and turned it off. "When you are home, you should be home."

Eddie bit her lip, but didn't say anything. He was right, but it wasn't his business.

"Let me get the coffee, Jamie will you help me?" Kara asked sensing Luke and Eddie needed to have a private word.

Luke fixed Eddie with a firm glare, "I know what you are going to say…"

"No, you don't," Luke replied. "Nothing is worth what you have with Jamie, Eddie. You and Jamie, that first year in Montana, I couldn't take my eyes off of the two of you. You were so intimate, so intune, so in love…and tonight, you haven't even brushed hands, not one time. The tension from this operation is eating at your relationship and take it from me, there is nothing worth losing that. When the job is done, that is what's left, your family, and your friends. You can't get this back…you can't."

Eddie thought about his words, Luke was in a unique position here. He had actually lost everything in his life, his wife and son had died and left him shattered. Now he had a second chance, "I'll tell you one thing, you are one lucky lady with Jamie…" Luke stood up as Kara and Jamie were coming back in the room. "You know I would not put up with that."

"Luke," Kara sighed. "I made a lemon meringue pie, Eddie I know you love that."

Eddie smiled, taking Luke's words to heart. Was she in over her head? Was this just too much? Even if it was, she was in good and deep now…but after this, she had no idea if she would do it again, she had no idea what she would do.

If possible, Eddie got more preoccupied and withdrawn after the dinner with Kara and Luke, she was focused on ending this. She saw Guy that weekend on Saturday, the night before their plans for family dinner. He took her to The View for dinner, and to watch the New York Skyline slowly rotating, then back to her place, at the decoy house, they sat on the sofa together, Guy's arms came around her. "You are so beautiful, Marie…" he whispered moving her hair off her neck.

He began to kiss her there, nibbling and kissing her neck. Eddie took a breath, she wanted him off of her, and she didn't like his touch. It was foreign and unwelcome, but she was this close to getting into the house with his brother. She was knocking on the door and had to see it through.

As Guy, lifted her chin and turned her head to take her lips, she shut her eyes. She pictured Jamie there, holding and touching her, just as she had with Tom, to get through Guy's kisses. Tom's had been nice, they had been tolerable, but this…She pulled back, "I'm sorry, Guy, please excuse me, my stomach is bothering me." She made a beeline for the bathroom and thought fast.

Eddie faked illness until Guy left wishing she felt better. The minute it was safe she headed home heartsick and exhausted. She stepped inside closing the door softly quietly going to the kids' rooms, she missed her babies. Sighing Eddie watched them sleep brushing, a hand over their cheeks. "Mommy loves you."

Eddie slid into bed and cuddled up to Jamie. He was sound asleep on his back. She took a breath and curled up next to him rubbing her cheek on his chest. Eddie was done, she felt that she had given all she could give to this operation and it was doing nothing but hurting Jamie and the family. She vowed to talk to the team and discuss pulling back, it wasn't working, she was no closer to Donald. She began to kiss Jamie lips needing his comfort and solace...


	160. Chapter 160

Chapter One Hundred Sixty

Slowly stirring, Jamie turned on his side, moving both arms around her. "Hey," he whispered sleep deep in his voice. Rolling over Jamie pulled Eddie close kissing her head then nose, cradling her against him.

Eddie's kisses were a little firmer and more demanding. She needed him, she missed him. Feeling her urgency Jamie's hands moved around her waist pulling Eddie closer meeting her lips while rubbing the small of her back.

Things began to heat up, they had pent up a lot of tension and desire. Still, it didn't feel right to Jamie, he smelled Guy's Cologne and then as he kissed her neck, "Ow!"

"You okay, Eddie," Jamie pulled back quickly sighing, he wanted her so badly.

Holding one arm around her Jamie reached for the lamp flicking it on to see what hurt her worried.

When he turned back he brushed her hair behind her ear and saw the cause of her pain...a think purple mark on her neck. "Eddie what is that? What is that on your neck?"

"On my neck?" Her hand went to the raised spot and she winced again. That was the spot where Guy had been kissing her and touching her. "Guy was..." Jamie's vision turned red.

Eddie wanted to cry, the look on Jamie's face grabbed her heart. He was so hurt, "Jamie, it's the cover," she began but he countered, "How would you feel if I came home with another woman's mark on me? How would you feel if I came in our bed smelling of someone else?"

Eddie took a deep breath trying to hold it together. "Jamie, it didn't mean anything. It's just for work…he doesn't mean anything. You are everything to me," her voice cracked pleadingly.

"How would you feel?" He pressed again his anger closing off his senses

"I would be furious," Eddie admitted quietly. "Jamie look at me." He couldn't, he was too upset and shut himself down. Eddie was still talking, "I will reconsider this, and I will tell them I can't keep going."

"Do what you need to Eddie," Jamie needed space before he broke down, getting up to get a drink of water, tears building.

Eddie followed him to the kitchen. "Listen to me please, I love you, I'm in love with you..."

"I hear you Eddie. I love you but just this is too much, it's just too much for me to see you with another man," Jamie shook his head quietly leaning on the counter eyes welling up.

"It hasn't worked," Eddie repeated. "And I hated him touching me. I pretended to be sick and I actually was!"

"Yeah, well from that mark on your neck I'd say it didn't work." Jamie grabbed a glass filling it with water. "Another guy did that eddie," he took in a deep breath. "Go to bed it's late I'll be there in a few minutes."

"I can't, we have to fix this!" Eddie was in tears, "I..." The burner phone beeped angering Jamie more.

"Go ahead Eddie get it that seems to be your priority lately." Jamie set his glass down walking past her to the living room, tears in his eyes.

Eddie woke up to the incessant sound of the doorbell buzzing. She must have fallen asleep on the sofa. She padded sleepily to the door and opened the door. "Edit Janko Manning?" The man asked. "Yes?" He handed her a packet of papers.

"I have papers for you please sign here," he held out a clipboard to show that the material was delivered. "Thank you ma'am."

Eddie had no idea why she was being served. She went back and opened them, papers to change April's birth certificate and her name to April Reagan. They had discussed this, but he had proceeded on his own. She got scared, why pursue this alone. She had to talk this out. With shaking hands Eddie called her best girlfriend.

Kara picked up on two rings, "hey Eddie what's going on? Everything okay?"

"I need to meet, I have to talk to someone!" Eddie was very upset. "Can you meet?"

"Of course I can let's meet at that cafe we usually go too. We can order tea and talk say fifteen minutes," Kara didn't hesitate.

Eddie was relieved. She was there when Kara showed up. They sat down and Eddie showed her the papers with tears in her eyes.

"Wow so he changed her to name to Reagan. Eddie are you upset because he didn't consult you that he was going to do it," Kara asked softly.

"It's not official yet, but yes," Eddie replied. "We discussed it and I was fine of course, but things are so bad..." That's when Kara noticed the hickey. "Eddie is that a hickey! From Guy?"

Eddie sighed as more tears filled her eyes. "That's the other thing, Jamie saw it and he's so angry he won't even speak to me. He took the kids out before I woke up."

"You called me for support, you know I love you and I'm here for you, but you have to weigh this thing out okay? You haven't even gotten close. Is it worth it?" Kara held Eddies hand. "I know Luke would not tolerate this and I would not risk my marriage, Eddie."

"I know and I don't want to either. I love Jamie more than anything…and our babies I love them so much." Eddie sniffled. "I don't want to ruin what I have with them."

"I am going home and I'm going to tell Jamie that I'm done. You are right, and nothing is worth losing them, they are my family." Eddie took another long breath. "That ought to make the difference."

Kara hoped so smiling at her friend. "Good because you and Jamie are supposed to be together. I'm here anytime you need."

"Thank you," Eddie smiled. "Friends always. I'm thinking I'm going to go home and wait for him...tell him and then I'll go down to the precinct."

Kara nodded, "Always yeah, it's best to talk with him first. Your priority is your family first, everything else comes after."

Eddie agreed, "I hope he can forgive me, Kara. I hated every minute of this, his touch and his kisses..."

"Jamie loves you Eddie, he's just stubborn. You have to keep trying to get through to him," Kara assured.

Eddie smiled and headed for there, she hoped Jamie would be there when she got home. She was going to hug her kids and tell Jamie of her decision about the operation. When she got home, Jamie was showering for work. The kids weren't home, she wasn't sure if that was a good sign.

Eddie sat on the couch and waited for Jamie to step out of the shower. "Jamie, I need to talk to you. I just need a minute."

"I have just about a minute," Jamie replied. "I left the kids at Dad's house, I didn't know what you were doing,"

"That's what I want to talk to you about," Eddie began. "Sit down, just for a few seconds." Eddie reached for his hands, Jamie was stiff and pulled himself in, his eyes fixed on the hickey.

"I'm done, Jamie," Eddie told him. "I'm going to go in to the precinct and tell them I can't continue. I'm hurting you and I'm hurting our kids. I can't do that to you anymore, especially for nothing, and all I have is this hickey, and this man touching me like I'm his…and I'm not his, I'm yours."

"Not lately," Jamie replied. "I know I don't own you Eddie, I know that you have your job and your own interests same as me, but this is dangerous and it's…I'm glad it's done. I know why you did it, I know you wanted to save those babies but our babies need their mother and this was headed in a dangerous direction. I missed you Eddie, I need you, and this family doesn't work without you.

Jamie stroked Eddie's cheek, "I can't imagine how it's been for you…and I haven't made it easier, I'm so sorry for that. I was jealous and the fear made me mean…me…" Jamie pulled Eddie close to him and held her tight, glad to have her back in his arms and glad that she was making this choice.

"You and our kids, Jamie," Eddie smiled. "I need you, and the time I missed with you… you were right I was so focused on the job and I took the time we did have for granted. I could've made this easier and I'm sorry too." Jamie kissed Eddie gently, his mouth sliding over the love bite that Guy had left, soothing the hot spot with his soft lips. "It's done, Jamie. No more undercover, I didn't even get close to the perp, if I did maybe but…."

Jamie took her in his arms and held her tight. "We'll get past this, Eddie. It was a rough month but we will get past it. I love you so much, a little set back won't change that…"

Tears were running down both their cheeks, this latest hurdle was done with now. They would go on and plan their wedding in Montana. Their tears mingled, Jamie caressed Eddie's back. "I have to go…be here when I get home? Maybe put the kids to bed early?"

Eddie liked that idea a lot.

Eddie took a long bubble bath, trying to relax and get her head back around her senses. She laid several warm clothes on the bruise on her neck to try to sooth the occasional ache. She had wasted nearly a month of time trying to break this case and it didn't happen, it just didn't…She had to focus now on fixing her family. Tonight, she'd be waiting for Jamie when he got home, she would hold her babies, and let them know that Mommy was there for them, that she loved them.

Eddie was fixing herself a piece of frozen pizza when her burner cell rang. She let it go twice, but on the third cycle, she picked it up, one last call to end things was the idea, keep the seams smooth.

. "Hello," she said turning off the microwave

"Marie," Guy's voice came through. "How are you feeling? I went by your place but you aren't home?"

"I'm feeling a little better thanks needed some rest." Eddie said quickly.

"Where are you?" He asked. "You aren't at home."

"Oh I went to a friend's house so I wasn't alone. It was sweet of you to check in on me."

"Anytime, anything you need," Guy replied. "I felt so bad for you."

Eddie sighed, "Guy, listen," she began wanting to prepare him for her pulling out. He broke in though, "My brother Donald's birthday is Monday and we are having dinner for him. I'd love you to come as my date."

This was it, she's in, she couldn't back out now. "Sure, thanks I'd love to be your date. When is the party?"

"Thursday, just a small thing, Donald is kind of reclusive, not many friends" Eddie sighed, what was she going to do? She had just given her word to Jamie but the case was now close to blowing wide open. "I'd like to see you tonight, we can go to Coney Island."

Jamie would understand, he'd be hurt, but the cop in him would understand. She would give it a week, just a week, and if she couldn't by then…it would be a done deal. "I'd love too, I'll come to you, tell me the time and address again?"

Eddie wrote all of the information down on a piece of paper, and hung up the phone. She called the precinct and informed them of the break, then penned Jamie a note.

 _Dearest Jamie,_

 _I'll ask your forgiveness and understanding before I even explain. The case is breaking, I was finally invited to Guy's house to celebrate the perp's birthday party on Thursday. I'll gather the evidence I need there and I'll be able to close this once and for all. I know I can do it if I just have another week. Please give me another week to carry this operation out, and then, I promise, I'll come out and be finished with undercover work. It isn't worth the risk to us, it really isn't. I'm just so close now and I know that you will understand._

 _I'm out with Guy now and I'm sure it'll be late again. I'll see you in the morning._

 _All my love,_

 _Eddie_

She left the note where Jamie would find it and went to change.

Jamie got home with a smile on his face. He pushed the door open and thought a moment when the apartment was dark. "Eddie," he called out. 'Eddie, you here babe?"

He secured his weapon, even though the children weren't in the house, and turned on the kitchen light. There on the counter by his glass, was the note.

Jamie read it for a second, then crumpled it up in anger. She had promised him, she told him that she was done and now she wanted another week…he didn't think anything could hurt more than the hickey…now this.

He had to get out of this house, he would go crazy in here…Jamie picked up the phone, "Danny, I need to meet you for beers or something. I need to talk."

Danny was happy to oblige him, "Okay, I'll meet you and we'll talk it out. It's the job though," Danny assured him after he explained. "It's the job, you know that."

"It's not just the job this time," Jamie replied. "See you soon."

Jamie grabbed his keys and headed out to meet his brother. When he got there, Danny already had a beer waiting. "You look like hell, Kid. This still eating at you?"

Jamie explained the heart to heart he had with Eddie earlier, "She promised me she was going to be done, we were going to have time together tonight when I got home then…she left a note that she had an in and wanted another week…Another damn week to be with this guy that left a hickey on her neck last night!" Jamie downed the beer in one gulp. "It's dangerous and…"

"And you are very jealous," Danny sighed. "It's her job, maybe it's gone too far but it is her job and what she does with that man has nothing to do with you and her feelings for you. I've had to cuddle up to women before for the job, it had nothing to do with how I felt for Linda."

Jamie considered that for a minute and took another beer. The talk with his brother helped Jamie begin to relax, Eddie was a gifted cop and she was focused on her job right now. She had an altruistic reason for this and if she didn't close it out in week, he'd talk to her and press it…that was until Eddie and Guy walked into the same bar, arm in arm…hanging on each other like they were still teenagers. Jamie nudged Danny, they couldn't blow Eddie's cover.

Eddie didn't see Jamie and Danny, she was focused on keeping Guy interested and getting to that party. They ordered their own beers, then Guy slid his hand into her hair, and pulled her lips towards his. The kiss they shared could be mistaken by any observer as one between lovers that had other plans for that night. Jamie felt a pain so sharp and acute that he nearly cried out and would have if not for Danny's hand on his arm.

It was excruciating to watch, it was horrible for Danny to witness, and if he felt this way, how did Jamie feel? He had to be in the worst place of all. "Okay, I agree that is way too far," Danny replied. "He's really fallen for her, she might be in over her head. You have to talk to her…"

"This is what she wants to do…" Jamie replied. 'She's focused on this case and this is what she wants. Maybe's he's what she wants…but I'm not going over there…I'm not going to be the one to end this. If she wants my help she'll ask, if she wants to leave…I won't invite her to do it…"

Danny was proud of Jamie, he was trying hard to keep his head about him, be a father and a fiancé, but also a cop understanding the demands of the work. ""You're a better man than I am…I'd pull her out of her by her hair. Let's go out the back, we'll pick up the kiddos, hmmm? Let's go…"

Danny led Jamie out the back door, their instinct to protect Eddie's cover still paramount in the blue blood.

When Eddie got home, around one am, she went to Max and April's bedrooms, to find the children both asleep in Max's bed, each one holding their stuffed animals. April changed her bear to the blue dress earlier that week, Eddie wasn't sure if she had a whim or a reason.

She padded to their bedroom, only to find the bed empty. Jamie wasn't on the couch, so she peered into the guest bedroom, hurt and surprised to find him sleeping there. She didn't want to wake him and start anything now, though it seemed he didn't understand what she had to do after all.

Eddie took a hot shower and slid into bed. She hated the feeling of being groped, kissed, hugged and touched by Guy. Less than a week now and she'd be in…she had to break this case, at least do that! If she didn't this was all for nothing. She might have just lost everything, but something inside of her wouldn't let her turn back. Perhaps it was the need to prove that she could do this…her swan song for a career she trained hard for and worked hard to get. Even she didn't' know, all she knew was she had a monster in her sights and she had to get him, she had no choice now.

Eddie tried to sleep, she tossed and turned listening for Jamie to wake up. She had to talk to him and make things right.

Eddie heard Jamie got directly into the shower when he got up, an hour before the children would be stirring. She waited in the guest room, sitting on her leg until he came out. "Jamie, we have to talk."

"Nothing to talk about Eddie it's pretty clear what your priorities are," Jamie said walking past her to finish getting dressed.

"There's a lot to talk about Jamie. I..." He turned his back. "Right now, you are the job, but there are things happening hat I can't accept."

Eddie sighed quietly, "I know that Jamie and the last thing I want is to do is ruin what we have our family you and me and the kids."

"If you mean that," Jamie replied. "Get out now, keep your promise to me and this family.

"I do mean that Jamie you and the kids are what's most important to me I love you... "Eddie said.

"Then why did you kiss him?" Jamie asked, his voice laced with pain. "

"He kissed me Jamie I kept thinking it was you I didn't want to but I was trying to get in." Eddie told him.

"So that part where you held him to the kiss and enjoyed it...that part...that was your imagination?" Jamie bit his cheek. "I saw you, I saw the kiss."

"Jamie, I promise it's only for the job I didn't enjoy it I love you and only you. Please Jamie believe me I don't want to lose you."

"It has to stop," Jamie demanded. "You have no choice now, he went too far." In anger, Jamie scooped up both the sleeping tots from their beds. "What are you doing?"

"Taking the kids out, I can't do this Eddie, watching him all over you like that. You have to make a decision." Jamie said

Eddie stood in front of the door the fear of losing her children paramount. "Don't you dare leave with my babies!"

"They're my babies too Eddie and lately I'm the one taking care of them because you're too busy making out with another guy. When you decide we'll be back but I can't stay around and watch."

Eddie refused to move until Max started to stir. "Give me my baby!" Eddie almost snatched Max from Jamie. "I need one week. The party and that's it, I promise. Please Jamie..."

Jamie stood holding April thoughtfully. "You have one-week Eddie that's it that's my cutoff."

"I'll be home as much as I can," Eddie promised. "I know I can get him, I know it."


	161. Chapter 161

Chapter One Hundred Sixty One

Jamie put both irate and cranky toddlers on the floor and both of them held onto each other. It broke Eddie's heart to see that, her babies didn't go to her.

He walked past Eddie going to make the kids some breakfast saying nothing to Eddie. "Who's hungry?"

"Oatmeal..." Max demanded clapping his hands. April toddled behind, "No, no cheerios."

"Oatmeal for Maxy, Cheerios for April." Jamie made the easy breakfasts helping the kids up into their seats.

Eddie sat on the couch and tried not to cry, six more days...she had six days to prove to herself this was worth it. Eddie truly wished Renzulli had never come to her with this. But now, if she threw in the towel, the next child snatched would be on her. If this was a case Jamie had been asked to work would his reaction be the same? Would he drop this important case because he had a family? No one had ever gotten this close to this offender before, how could she rest if another child was hurt because she couldn't stick it out a bit longer? Truth be told, Jamie wouldn't be able to live with himself either. This was hard on the entire family.

Eddie was deep in thought as she watched Jamie sit with the kids, helping them eat.

"Good job eating," Jamie smiled cleaning off their hands and faces before lifting each toddler out.

Eddie shared some time with the babies then had to leave to meet Guy...only six more days...then she could begin rebuilding her life.

"I'm going out," Jamie announced a short time later. "I'll leave the kids home for you to play with them, but I can't stay here with you right now." Jamie urged each child to go to Eddie. Max was always a Mommom's boy and he went quickly, but April hung back a bit. She felt the acute sense of abandonment that Jamie felt.

Eddie held Max as tight as she dared, and he laid his curly head on her shoulder, still a little sleepy. "Text me when you are ready to leave for your next date, I'll make sure someone is here to watch the kids." Jamie left them with no kiss, no hug, no anything, Eddie remembered something her father once told her, "Nothing is colder than an Irishman licking his wounds." Turned out he was right.

Eddie got April engaged in a game of Cops…"Be pwees officer, Mommy," April told her as she changed her bear back to its original outfit. Max put himself in "jail" by climbing in and out of the playpen. Eddie enjoyed their antics, and giving kisses and hugs at will to her children. The only thing missing was her Jamie.

She had to meet Guy at six, so she text Jamie to please come home around 4:30 for the children. He replied he would make sure she was covered, but did not agree to come himself. Eddie put on a video for the kids while she got ready for the dinner date. She planned to do her best to be home early and not have those 1 and 2am return times.

At precisely, 4:30pm, Linda arrived to watch Max and April. Eddie was dressed up beautifully in a standard black dress with V-neck and open back. She wore the cameo and the silver comb to keep Jamie as close as she could, for her this was just about the work.

"You look really nice," Linda complimented hugging both toddlers when they came for hugs.

"Thanks," Eddie smiled. "Thanks for doing this too, I have six more days to catch this creep…"

"Danny told me what happened last night, he can't get that image out of his mind."

Linda sighed, "What's going on Eddie? The last I had heard you told Jamie that you were hanging things up, and then today he asks me to watch the kids because you're going back in? What gives?"

"I want to be out," Eddie replied. "I want it more than anything, still there's a month's worth of work on this case and the man is an absolute monster. I asked Jamie for a week, just one more week and gave my word if I couldn't tie it up, I'm done and I mean it. I can't get the feel off my lips and not in a good way," Eddie commented. "Jamie's so angry."

"That's kind of my point, Eddie. He's angry because you lied to him. He feels like you lied to him and to add insult to injury, he has to see it happen. Put yourself there, in his shoes."

"I have, and I would be crazy with jealousy and anger, Jamie is a much better person than I am, I couldn't put up with it. I know I'm asking a lot, but when this is done, we can fix it, I know we can. This is such important work, Linda. We love each other too much to let work get in the way."

Linda sighed. "If Danny can't shake that picture, imagine how Jamie must feel. Danny is a seasoned UC, he's done it all, and he's having a hard time with this. Jamie's patient and he's kind, but Eddie, you are this close to having everything you ever wanted…" Linda made the minute symbol with her fingers. "And this close to losing it. I just hope it's worth the risk and the consequence."

Eddie looked down, "I know, and I know how serious breaking my word to Jamie is, I do. I don't know I'm…in this so deep right now. I'm trying to bring a terrible person to justice and not hurt the man I love. I have to stop him…I have to stop him, or help stop him, but I'm keeping my word. A week…if he's not in my grasp in five and a half days, I'm out and they find another way."

Linda understood both sides, she had been on Jamie's side of things and she understood wanting to do your best work as a female in the workforce, still a promise was a promise, especially in a marriage. "Eddie, keeping that promise will be of the utmost importance. Jamie and you, are soulmates, you're meant to be together. Don't mess it up for a job. It's not worth it, trust me, it's not worth it."

Eddie left a minute later after kissing her kids, taking every word to heart.

Jamie was surprised when his phone rang and a familiar voice of an old acquaintance spoke. "Jamie Reagan? Is this still your number?"

"Yes this is Jamie, who is this," Jamie replied with a confused look not immediately recognizing the voice.

"It's Jennifer, I know it's been years but I hoped this was still your number. I went by your precinct and they said you were off today. I kind of need some help."

Jamie did a quick scan recognizing her, Dr. Jen. "Yeah hey Jennifer sure what can I do for you?"

"Can you meet me for coffee? I'd like to speak in person. I'll come near you if you're on a tight schedule."

"Yeah sure I can meet let me just see if I can get a sitter and I'll meet you. Where are you now?"

"A sitter?" Jen asked. "You can bring your kids or kid if you have to. I'm near Mercy hospital in Staten Island."

Jamie wasn't sure about bringing them but might not have much of a choice. "Okay I'll be there soon as I can."

Jamie got the neighbor to sit with the babies and headed to meet Jen at a local cafe. She was sporting a fat lip and black eye. "Oh my God Jen what happened? Are you okay?" Jamie slipped in the seat across from her shocked at how she looked.

"That's why I asked to speak to you," Jen replied. "This was the first time that he got so angry and I was hoping that..."

"I could talk to him or do you want me to arrest him? Who is this guy anyway," Jamie asked

"Talk to him, yes..." Jen replied. "He's a doctor at the hospital and he is a really nice guy, he just lost it."

Jamie thought otherwise from the bruising on Jen's face but he kept that opinion to himself. "Okay tell me his name and when and where I can find him I promise I'll talk to him."

"There is just one more problem," Jen replied. "We share a place and...Would it be okay?" There was something endearing about Jen needing him, wanting him to help, what he missed with Eddie.

"Don't worry Jenn I'll go there and just talk to him, two adult men talking. It won't be a problem," Jamie assured.

"Why don't you come by my place for a bit while I sort this out?" Jamie asked.

"Won't your wife be upset?" Jen asked assuming Jamie was married.

A flinch twinkle in Jamie's eyes after everything that was going on. "No she'll understand."

He got up leading Jen to his car driving back to the apartment. "Just have to pick my kids up from next door," he told her. "Would you mind staying with the kids? I remember you being great with kids when we were seeing each other."

Jen agreed she'd watch Max and April while Jamie went to put the fear of God into her boyfriend.

Jamie introduced the kids to Jen, she smiled at them and sat on the floor to play games. The kids took to Jen's easy manner right away. They sat on the living room floor laughing excitedly as Jenn played with them. April reached for the steteschope and held it, then put it around herself, toddling around to her dolls. She knew exactly what to do with it.

Max sat down and turned back to his instruments, that was his first love. Eddie recognized her immediately from years ago on the job. "Dr. Bennett, what are you doing here?"

One look told Eddie why she was there, the bruising was angry and prominent. Jamie must be off in his knight and shining armor mode. That got under her skin, he was HER knight in shining armor, not Jen's!

"Oh, I'm keeping the children while Jamie does a favor for me," she replied. "I asked his help." April toddled over, "Mommom doctor...me!"

"You're a doctor huh," Eddie picked her up relieved that her baby girl came to her. It stung beyond belief Jamie left Jen alone with her kids, that Max was singing his heart out and that April was toddling around playing doctor. This was her family, and Jen slid right in and took over. She was replaceable, another woman could slide into her shoes and run this family. Her need to be top cop was ruining her life, and hurting her family. This was too much. It was way too much! She had to get out of here before she lost it. She quickly hugged her babies, grabbed the shoes she needed for the party tonight, and headed out without another word to Jen. She was barely to the car before the tears fell.

The entire way to the safe house, Eddie cried. She had wanted nothing more than to bolt out of that house and run, but the pull of holding her babies while they were awake overtook that impulse, temporarily. In the end though, she left long before she was required to leave. She couldn't stand to see that, Jen in her living room with her family, with her fiancé off to defend her. She looked like she belonged there and she didn't…Eddie's decision was reaffirmed as she rode to the safe house. She was done, she was finished. She would get what she could out of this party and end this thing, it was costing her too much, just like Kara and Linda had warned her it would.

When Jamie got home he smiled at Jen. Max was sleeping on the floor and April was busy examining her dolls. "I talked to him, and he of course expressed how sorry he was and how much he loves you," Jamie replied. "I don't want to discount that, since you said it's the first time, but I have to warn you that these guys repeat, as a doctor you know that."

Jen nodded, "We've been together over a year, and he's never behaved in anyway like this."

"Then maybe he was over stressed or had too much to drink," Jamie sighed. "My suggestion, let him cool off tonight, stay with a girlfriend or at a motel, then tomorrow have a talk with him and see how you feel."

April toddled over to Jamie, "Daddy, I doca…" Jamie smiled at her and kissed her little cheek. "Good girl, April. I'm so proud of you being such a good girl for Dr. Jen."

April giggled and wiggled to get down. Jen looked at the pretty little girl and her sleepy brother, "Things could have been so different for us."

"You need to find yourself a man that is going to treat you like you deserve to be treated, don't sell yourself short, Jen." Jamie looked over at the children, then down at the promise ring on his finger. "I'm with my soulmate, and although nothing is perfect, I know this is where I belong. You deserve that too, that kind of knowing in the bottom of your heart."

"Good luck, Jamie," Jen smiled. "Your family is beautiful."

Jamie gave Jen a gentle hug and saw her out. He turned back to the kids, and checked on Max. "Daddy…" April went to Jamie again. "Mommy come."

Jamie sighed, "No, honey, we're going to go to Grandpa Frank's house. Daddy has to work."

April giggled as if he was the silliest man in the world. "No, no…" she laughed. "Mommy come home…Mommy hug me and Maxy!"

Jamie sighed, Eddie had been there, and she'd seen Jen with the kids. That had to have hurt her deeply, she loved the kids more than anything. She needed to be with the babies and they needed her. He would explain to her and she would understand the reason Jen was there.

Eddie got dressed at the safe house, she put on her make-up, made sure she had evidence bags and all the items she needed to make this time at Guy's house pay off for her. She vowed that today would be her swan song with the NYPD, she had a far more important job, Jamie's wife, and April and Max's mother. That was the most important job she could ever have.

The party was small, a few of Donald's friends, their sister, and Guy.

Guy showed her off, he bragged about her, and held her hands, keeping her close to him. All the while, Donald's friends were watching. One of them pulled out his phone and typed in one name…Officer Janko.

Eddie mocked sipper her wine, she had to stay alert for this. Soon she planned to excuse herself and begin to gather the evidence from Donald's room, DNA and prints that would be enough hard evidence…

Brandon, Donald's friend from the nearby watering hole, nudged him. "What did you say your brother's girl's name was?"

"Marie Jankovich, why?" Donald asked as Brandon showed him his phone. "That's not her real name, I recognized her because she and her skinny ass partner picked me up for drinking years back, name's Eddie Janko, she's a cop…"

"A cop? What kind of cop? She's some kind of secretary…"

"She's NYPD SVU, man," Brandon replied. "Look, google her."

Donald googled Eddie on his phone and got not only pictures of her receiving medals and plaques, but her wedding photo to Tom, and a photo at a Save the Children dinner with the exact same cameo on her dress and the exact same comb in her hair. Their family had been infiltrated…they had been made.

When Donald looked up from his phone, Eddie was gone. He took a breath and kept his cool, working his way over to Guy, "Where did Marie go?" He wouldn't tell his brother, not yet, that would be too easy, and too risky. Guy wouldn't understand, he never did.

"The bathroom, when she comes out, we'll have cake," Guy smiled, thinking of his beautiful Marie, such elegance. She would make a wonderful matriarch of the Harris clan, she had just the right kind of poise. Add to that the fact he loved her to pieces and, it was a match made in Heaven.

Eddie snuck into Donald's room and conducted the quickest compulsory search she could remember doing. Thankfully, no one suspected that she would be in here snooping, not even Donald. She found pictures of his victims in an envelope, some outgoing mail, and his toothbrush. She bagged that evidence and headed back to the party, unbeknownst to her, Donald was watching.

After cake, Eddie begged off. She wanted to get back to the safe house, call in, log her evidence, and go back to her family. Guy smiled and gave her a kiss, "I'll call you, I'm glad you came."

"Me too," Eddie replied. "It's been a lot of fun." That was her way of saying goodbye.

Eddie got in her car and started to go back to the safe house. Her detail saw her moving to leave and started their car to tail her back. Before they made it even a block the tire light came on and their car swerved deeply to the right. The two officers looked at each other, "Central, Car 10926, we're disable at the corner of Carlyle and Jackson avenue. Lost the UC…"

Eddie didn't notice she lost her tail, she was riding high at getting the evidence and closing out the case. About three blocks away, she got the low tire pressure light and felt the car jerk. "Damn it…" Eddie groused then went to check on her tire. She was about to call in the disabled car when she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She turned around, trying to reach for the mace in her purse, when a moist handkerchief was placed over her mouth and nose, leaving her powerless to fight back in a matter of seconds.

If Eddie had been conscious, she'd have noticed two things, first was she had lost her detail, and second that Jamie had texted her saying the kids were staying at Frank's that night and he would join them there after work. He had a messy arrest that would take hours for him to clean up. Normally, her lack of response would set off a red flag, but under these circumstances he didn't expect and immediately reply or a standard reply. So when, an hour later, he got a simple okay, it didn't set off any signals. It didn't set off any signals when Eddie's text to the detail was simply, checking in, either, she often cut her communication. No one was immediately alerted to her predicament. Neither was she, the chloroform lasted a few hours. Donald and his friends had acted quickly enough that Eddie was missing over two hours before anyone was the wiser.

The detail at first called their Sergeant, and Renzulli launched, with the UC CO a full investigation into Eddie's whereabouts. They all hoped that it wouldn't lead to a need to alert the commissioner, but when Eddie wasn't found by sun up…there was.


	162. Chapter 162

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Two

Eddie stirred on the make-shift bed just as the sun came up over the horizon. Her body was achy and stiff, and the room had the distinct odor of human sweat. She looked around, disoriented at first, and then saw Donald off in the distance. "So, you thought you could fool us, didn't you, cop bitch!" he snapped. "You thought you could trick my brother into loving you…worked too, but I'm smarter than you are…" He sang the last part. "I found all of the stuff you got on me, and when I'm done having fun with you…maybe I find your daughter…I saw the birth announcement online."

Eddie stomach lurched, 'You touch one hair on my baby's head and I'll…"

"What?" he asked. "You'll what? Kill me? Too late, you'll be dead. The husband, he's dead. No one will care about what happens to your little brat!"

"You're wrong there, I have a partner and a fiancé and he will be looking for me!" Eddie snapped "You have the evidence, I can't hurt you. The best thing to do is to let me go now. Let me go and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened."

Eddie took in her surroundings, she was in an old abandoned house near the fishing pier. Not too far from Frank's place was her guess, but way too far for anyone to hear her scream. She had to keep her wits about her, Jamie would notice she didn't come home, he'd notice and come find her. Then, she'd tell him of her decision, she prayed now she'd lived long enough.

Baker and Gormley greeted Frank when he got to the office, "what's with the long faces. No, don't tell me, I don't want to know."

Baker nodded, "No, Sir, but we got a call from Sergeant Renzulli and Detective Janko's CO…she missed two of her check-ins and the tail car, their tire was tampered with at the scene of the party last night, her car was found abandoned about two blocks away. She's been missing nearly 8 hours now with no trace of her, no one has been able to locate Donald Harris or his brother."

Frank took a long deep breath, "Okay, get me detective Reagan on the phone, better yet, get him down here now. This goes no further than this room."

Baker and Gormley took their lead from Frank, setting themselves in motion to do his bidding.

Danny sent some uniforms to pick up Brandon Mitchell while he and Baez started digging into the Harris family holdings. They scanned every possible detail that might lead to his whereabouts. "Find anything yet partner?" Baez asked sighing.

"No, are there so many..." Danny replied as the uniforms walked in with Mitchell. "Put him in the box!" Danny commanded. "Let's go shake up some scum."

"Maybe we'll get lucky," Baez hoped following Danny to the box.

Back in Brooklyn, Jamie got Max and April dressed and ready for their day. He wanted to see Eddie, explain about Jen, and maybe have lunch. "You guys look great," Jamie smiled turning to check the clock again. Come on guys are you ready?"

"Ready to play," Max clapped his hands but April shook her head. "I hungee."

Jamie sighed, "of course you are sweetie." She was definitely Eddie's child. "Okay come here April let's get you something."

Jamie held her hand and gave her a baby cookie. "We'll have lunch with Mommy. Ready to see Mommy?"

"Mommy," April repeated through a mouthful of cookies, looking like a chipmunk."

Jamie laughed, "Yes, Mommy." Jamie's cell phone rang and he looked at it. "Hey, Dad..."

"Hi son was wondering if you had time to stop by the office and see me...I miss my beautiful grandkids."

"We were going to try to catch Eddie for lunch but she didn't text me back yet. Guess she's hung up with Guy again." Jamie sighed

"Jamie why don't you come by? I'll let downstairs know so they'll let you up quicker Okay? See you soon."

Jamie packed up the babies to go see Grandpa, then Mommy," he smiled and loaded the kids into the car.

Frank still didn't know how he would tell Jamie so he decided to just say it. "Jamie there's a reason I called you down here. I had a feeling," Jamie replied and sat down and looked at Frank.

Before saying what he had to Frank took a deep breath in. "Jamie I've received word that Eddie has been taken. Jamie felt sick, like he wanted to throw up. His Eddie was gone, she was gone.

"We're doing everything we can to find her son your brother is on the case," Frank assured softly.

"Well," Jamie replied. "That's not good enough. I want to know why I'm just finding out about this now, obviously you've known awhile if Danny is already on the case!' Jamie stood up and began to pace. "I should have been called, just because our family is going to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean I shouldn't know. God, I was going to meet her for lunch…no wonder she didn't…She answered me last night, Dad. She texted me, she just said okay, which I though was weird but she texted me!"

"Head down to the 12th and meet Danny there, let him dump your phone, maybe we can get a location on her that way."

"Dad, I…the last time we spoke, we were arguing. She saw another woman in our house, with our kids, and I haven't talked to her about it…why did I let this fester? Why didn't I nip it in the bud, fight harder…"

"Jamie, getting upset now isn't going to help find Eddie," Frank replied. "Let Baker watch the kids, come with me to the 12th, we'll talk to Danny, we'll talk to her CO, we'll find out what's going on. Danny has an informant in the box now," Frank assured him. "Come on now…"

Jamie nodded and headed off with Frank, shock setting in. He didn't even think of his kids, they would be scared and disappointed, but that was not on his mind now. All he could think of was Eddie in the hands of that monster, without her gun!

When Frank and Jamie arrived at the 12th, Danny and Baez were busy breaking Brandon. Jamie knocked on the door of the box, Danny looked up and saw him. He pushed out of the door, "So far we haven't had any luck finding her, Kid," Danny began.

"We have to find her fast," Jamie sighed. "She's unarmed, she's alone out there. What the hell happened to the detail!"

"Jamie," Renzulli poked his head out of the office. "Step in here a minute please."

Renzulli was the last one he wanted to see. Jamie stepped into the office with a cold Irish set to his jaw. "I blame you for this! She never should have been involved in that in the first place!" Jamie demanded.

"Jamie, I can't tell you how sorry I am..." Renzulli began. "We're going to find her."

"That's my fiancée, the mother of my kids! Out there alone with that monster!" Jamie thundered. "You put her out there. You got her killed!"

"There were other children being hurt…"

"That's not the point!" Jamie was still shouting. "Our babies are the most important things, and no one thought about them!" Renzulli was beside himself, Jamie was right.

"I'm sorry, Harvard," he replied using the pet name of his old boot. "I always think of her as the gung-ho rookie, you're right, I can't say how sorry I am, Jamie. We're going to get her back, we are going to find her and those babies will have their mother back."

Jamie bit his lip and threw open the door and saw Guy standing at the complaints' desk. He was reporting his girlfriend missing, Jamie's heart clenched, she was not his girlfriend. She was Jamie's fiancé.

Danny stepped out, the desk Sergeant had called him to speak to Guy when he showed him the photograph of Eddie. "Mr. Harris, have a seat."

Guy sat down with Danny as Jamie looked on. "Detective Reagan, I'm leading the task force looking for Detective Janko. She was undercover as your girlfriend to gather information on your brother, Donald, who's been implicated in the attacks on several children in and around your neighborhood. We are trying now to locate..."

Jamie approached Guy, "Eddie is my fiancée, and I'm Jamie Reagan. Where is she?""

Guy looked up at Jamie, "Fiancé?" The hurt in Guy's eyes was tangible, "I thought...Of course, she was play acting...Donald did do what you said? He hurt those children, like that mom suspected? I covered for him. I said no, not my brother, he couldn't even if he was...Oh my God..."

"Where is she?" Jamie pressed. "She's not just a missing NYPD Detective or just my soulmate and fiancée, she's their mother!" Jamie flashed a picture of the children. "Their mother!" Jamie was shaking...so was Guy.

Guy stood up and looked sheepishly at Jamie. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I need to use the restroom..." Guy turned and headed as quickly as possible for the bathroom.

Eddie laid tied to the bed, arm throbbing from being forced behind her head. Both ankles were also secured to the bed. She had tried reasoning with Donald, crying, begging, but nothing seemed to be working in her favor. Now, there was his creepy friend Bill staring at her. She recognized him from the party, "You are something," he smiled. 'You are a little something sweet...Donald here, he likes them young, real young, but me...I'll take anything..."

Eddie's mouth was dry as a bone but somehow she managed to get up enough saliva to spit in Bill's face. "Go to Hell!" She twisted and her arm hurt worse. There was no comfortable position here. There was no way to relieve the pain. "My detail is coming, I bet they are just figuring out how to come in here and take you down."

"I doubt it, my friends look out for me," Donald replied. "They aren't going to find you, little lady. You are in way over your head here, Eddie..."

Donald and Bill each moved on her. Donald's phone rang, it flashed Guy, he clicked ignore. "Come on, on your feet!" He yanked her by her sore arm, the stress and the strain on the manhandled joint made it pop...it was her left arm, her stronger arm. One of the last lines of defense.

Back at the precinct, Danny and Jamie noticed that Guy had given them the slip. He was not in the men's room when Danny went to check. "Damn it, he's gone!" Danny sighed and Jamie took off running. "He knows where she is?" Danny got on the radio and gave Guy's description to the desk Sergeant to have Guy stopped in his tracks.

Danny, Jamie, and Renzulli headed out after Guy, he did know where his brother had taken Eddie. "All right, I'll take you there," he replied. "He's got a few friends that are just vicious people, I hope she's okay."

They all hoped that as they hit the lights and sirens and sped to the location that Guy disclosed. It was the noise that tipped off Donald to the fact he'd been located. "Start walking..." he commanded Eddie and pulled a pistol out of his pants. "Walk and if you try anything I'm going to scatter your brains all over this wall."

Eddie took a firm, deep breath and slowly started to walk down the long staircase. She had no idea who was coming, but she knew that someone finally had. She has to use the bathroom, she was hungry, and dizzy from thirst. She walked slowly as Donald pushed her down the long staircase.

"Police! Don't move!" Danny commanded as he burst through the door with his gun drawn, Jamie and Renzulli close behind him. "Drop it!"

Donald laughed an evil chuckle, "You drop it! All of you or I blow her head off."

Eddie didn't look scared, just resolved. Jamie looked at her, their eyes meeting and sparkling with their love for each other, even someone as heartless as Donald could see it.

"Oh I see...your real lover is a cop too," "You are about to watch this pretty little face implode all over this wall."

Eddie's eyes never left Jamie's. The cold metal of the pistol pressed further into her scalp. "Jamie!" Eddie gasp out to keep his attention. "Jamie, I just need you to know that I love you very much and I love our babies very much. I'm so sorry."

Jamie felt his heart leap to his throat, she was saying goodbye. His Eddie, the love of his life. He licked his lips and was about to speak, to give a signal he hoped she would get, when Bang! A shot rang out from behind Donald...and Donald fell over dead.

Eddie fell down the last few steps to the floor. Jamie rushed to her while Danny and Renzulli fixed their guns on Guy. "Drop the weapon!" Danny commanded and Guy did. He dropped his gun, dropped to his knees and pulled his brother to his lap. The tears ran down his face as he cried for his brother and for the woman that he loved. Guy looked up and saw Eddie being carefully cradled in Jamie's arms. It was plain as the nose on his face that she was and Jamie belonged to each other, they belonged together.

"Are you okay? I have a bus coming," Jamie told Eddie. "Don't try to move."

"I have to..." Eddie tried to push with her arms and felt her shoulder had no support. "I have to get up...I..."

"The bus is going to be here, rest," Jamie soothed holding her much in the same way he did when she'd been abducted and in the car crash with Russel Price. Eddie looked over at Guy, he was devastated. "Guy..." She pushed up this time, with Jamie's help. "Guy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head, "He's better off this way, he lived a tormented life. I couldn't let him hurt you, and he would have. He really would have..."

Eddie nodded, 'Thank you, thank you for helping save my life."

The busses approached, Jamie went with Eddie in the first ambulance, careful of her arm. The paramedics reduced the dislocation in the ambulance with Eddie holding tight to Jamie's hand. The second bus took Donald away while Danny and Renzulli took a statement from Guy and arrested Bill. Renzulli was a bit in shock, he felt terrible for Eddie being placed in harms' way like that, but all in all, she was a good cop, a good detective and ultimately she had done her job.

At the hospital, Jamie paced as he waited for Eddie. When she felt better, he was going to have to talk to her about this, they couldn't go on in this matter. He knew outright retirement would not be something she'd entertain but no more undercover work was his line in the sand. For her part, Eddie hoped Jamie saw the same light that she did, her place was no longer on a beat or chasing perps, it was on the soccer field, at dance class, at music lessons...Eddie made the decision her job was Jamie's wife and Max and April's mother, that was enough for her, she prayed it would be for him as well.

When Jamie was first allowed into Eddie's room, he simply held her. He kept his touch gentle so he didn't hurt her arm. "Did he touch you?" He had to ask.

"No, he just hit me and threw me down the steps but no, thank God nothing more." Eddie was tired and just sick over everything that happened. Jamie sensed she didn't want to talk and let her lay her head on his chest in silence.

Danny knocked on the door, Jamie, Guy would like a word with Eddie if that's all right with you." Jamie looked at Eddie, "I need to tell him again I'm sorry."

Jamie kissed her then stood up and let Guy come in for a private word. "Jamie, wait," Eddie called out. "Don't go, I want you here, please stay and hold my hand."

Jamie looked uncomfortable, like he wasn't sure in his own skin, very post Claudia. Guy looked…...heartbroken was the word for his look.

"Guy's eyes were bloodshot from his tears, Eddie's heart broke seeing two very sweet men in pain and by her hand. Jamie looked like a fish out of water, like he wasn't sure of his own skin, very post Claudia and Guy…heartbroken was the word for this look.

"How are you feeling, Mar…Ed…Detective Janko?" Guy asked.

"It's Eddie,' she replied gently. "And I'm okay, I'm resting my arm a bit, but I'm okay."

"Good, I'm really glad to hear that. I was sick with worry when I couldn't find you," Guy replied. "I reported you missing to the police and then I found out. I need you to believe I didn't know…"

"I know you didn't," Eddie replied. "And during this operation, I got to know you and respect you. I liked you a lot and if I was not totally and completely in love with Jamie…You are a very special man, and I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. You loved him, even as sick as he was."

Jamie listened to the conversation and smiled softly. Guy was a good man and he owed Eddie's life to him. "I do know how it feels to lose a brother," Jamie spoke up. "You don't get over the pain, but you do learn to live with it. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm grateful to you for making the sacrifice."

"I cared deeply for Marie, and I respect Eddie very much…" Guy smiled. "Rest well and be safe."

"I will," Eddie replied. 'Thank you Guy, for giving me more time with my family."

Guy nodded and hurried out of the hospital room before letting go of his true emotions.


	163. Chapter 163

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Three

The doctor came in and smiled at Eddie, "Post Reduction films look good, but we'd like to keep you over night to be sure."

Eddie shook her head, "I feel fine, I want to go home to my babies."

"I'll be staying with her doctor," Jamie told him holding Eddie's hand, lips pressed to her head.

"Well, if you are staying with her at home, and you check yourself at the orthopedist in the next few days, keep that arm still, I'll let you go home. No heavy lifting..." Eddie just laughed at that one.

"She will doctor, I'll make sure. Hey, it's either that or you stay here the night," Jamie whispered in her ear.

"I know," Eddie replied. "So when can I go, I need to see my family."

Eddie smiled at Jamie, they had a lot to talk about.

Jamie held Eddie, relieved she was okay, placing gentle kisses along the side of her head. "Soon, let the doctor make sure you're okay."

Eddie nodded and they waited another half hour until the doctor let them go. They still hadn't spoken

Arm wrapped tightly around Eddie's waist, Jamie walked out with her slowly not wanting to leave her side.

He was hurt, a lot, by this undercover business and after a good sleep, they would talk this out. Jamie didn't envy his dad with the kids, they had be driving him crazy by now.

Frank was having a devil of a time getting the kids to go to sleep. They had been promised lunch with Mommy and ended up at the precinct all day with no Mommy and now were at Grandpa's with no Mommy.

"No! Don't wanna lie down, want Mommy..." April wailed for the fifth time while Max just slipped out of bed and past Frank to sit by the front door holding his drum in hand.

Frank sat down, "April, Maxy, come here to Grandpa," Frank sighed. "Come here and sit on my knees."

April sniffled as she went to him climbing up. Max hesitated, eyeing the door as he walked over rubbing his eyes.

"Listen, Mommy got a boo boo and she's at the doctor with Daddy, so let's go to bed and you'll see Mommy in the morning..." Frank tried to reason, thankful when he saw headlights in the driveway.

"Mommy okay?" April asked looking up at Frank with large, rounded, sparkling blue eyes that looked so scared.

"Oh, yes," Frank smiled. 'Mommy is okay, Mommy is..."

The door pushed open turning Max and April's attention, eyes widening seeing Eddie. "Mommom!" Max burst into fresh tears sliding off Frank and made a beeline for Eddie. **Frank set April down and she toddled over to her mother calling out, "Mommy!" They had missed Eddie, her undercover work had impacted them a lot.**

Eddie smiled and dropped down on her knees to hug her babies, "My babies, I missed you. Mommy missed you so much." Jamie choked up watching this, this was where Eddie shined. She looked so centered with her children, he admired Eddie so much for being a natural both with the kids and on the job.

Both children attached to Eddie, **she had a hard time holding them with her injured arm. Frank held April in his arms as her tiny hands attached to Eddie's neck. Jamie supported most of Max's weight as he rested on Eddie's hip. There was not a dry eye in the room, both babies were tired and delighted to be holding to their mother and father. Even Frank was stayed by the joy of seeing his younger son, his newest daughter, and their children reunited.** Jamie had to take turns carrying them to their rooms upstairs to get them ready for bed. Eddie could sit and cuddle but not carry the tots with her injured arm. "Why don't you stay here tonight?" Frank suggested. "Eddie shouldn't move around much more with that broken wing."

Jamie nodded, "I think that's a good idea, too. Thanks for everything, Dad. I really appreciate you helping me keep my cool today."

"It's what father's do," Frank replied. "Get some rest, I'll see you in the morning."

That night, Jamie slept in his old bed with Eddie curled up next to him, her arm propped on pillows. Max and April slept along Jamie's body, not wanting to let their parents out of their sight, Jamie and Eddie didn't want to let the kids out of their sight either. Their family and their relationship had suffered, and they did not come out of it unscathed. They would talk about that later, the wedding was only three months away, those things had to be discussed and straightened out.

Jamie found sleep hard that night, he watched the children and Eddie, happy they were together for the first time in a long time, the four of them as a family. This was what was important, he hoped that Eddie agreed.

Frank got up early the next morning and started a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon for Jamie and Eddie, just as Henry would if he was alive. He tiptoed into the bedroom and lifted one sleeping child at a time, bringing them downstairs to help him with the breakfast. April helped stir. Max loved bacon, he broke off little pieces from the plate that were nice and crispy.

Jamie stirred, having only fell asleep a short time earlier. Eddie had just woken up and tried to stretch, forgetting her shoulder. "Oh, ouch!" she sighed and smiled at Jamie.

"Just the way I love to wake up," she smiled. "In your arms, close to you. I missed this so much, Jamie and I am so sorry for how things went."

Jamie gave Eddie a soft, gentle kiss, there was nothing they couldn't fix if they talked it out. He took a deep breath, he didn't know how Eddie was going to take this, he was still unsure of his place after such a trying month.

Jamie opened his mouth to begin, but Eddie spoke up first, "Jamie, before you say anything, I have to talk you and please just listen until I'm finished. I...This whole operation, being undercover, having to be away from you and the children, it really opened my eyes, Jamie. It opened my eyes to what I really want, and this is not it."

Jamie took a deep breath, she didn't want to continue, he was afraid of that.

The look on Jamie's face caused Eddie to hasten her words, "I don't want to be split between the job and the family. I love you and our children so much. I want to take April to dancing school and I want to take Max to music. I want to bake cookies with them, and pick them up from school. I want to be their Mommy, and I want to be Mommy to whoever else might come along for us." Eddie's eyes were shining with tears as she spoke. Jamie's face broke into a smile.

"I want to retire, Jamie," Eddie said softly. "I want to retire and be a mother and a wife. I need to do this with all my heart, I need…" Eddie sighed. "I need it so much and I hope you agree. We don't need the money, Tom's would want me to use at least a bit of this money to be at home with our family, Jamie. I hope you agree, I do. I want that partnership back, that special bond…"

Jamie cupped her cheek, "I was going to say the same thing, not to retire, but not to do UC work…this was torture for me and for you, I can see that. I don't want to feel like I have this last month, I don't want you to feel so separated from me, we've waited too long for this. **This last month, sharing you again, it brought up so many emotions for me. The time you were with Tom, especially after his heart attack was painful for us both, I saw your pain then and we shared that." Jamie wiped a few tears away. "But this time," he paused for his composure. "This time, you were excited to leave the house and go be with this man, almost as if you wanted or needed to be back in that life, away from me."**

 **That broke Eddie's heart, to hear Jamie so insecure in the relationship that was the foundation of their life. "Oh, no…no." Eddie moved to hug him, forgetting her arm and hissing in pain. Jamie moved so he was holding her close to his chest. "Jamie, it hurt me too, being gone. I wanted to be with you and watch movies and hold each other and I wanted to be with our babies and see them play and discover. I did this for them, and in some ways for me. I felt like I had to prove I was still a good cop, but that doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters without our family."**

 **They were both in tears now, Eddie wiped Jamie's and he wiped hers. "Ssh, it's okay…" Jamie soothed.** Eddie smiled at his gentle touch, "I'm so sorry that this hurt you so much, that I wasn't listening to you when you were trying to tell me. I was so fixated on the work and that's not who I am anymore. I'm going to be Eddie Reagan, wife and mother…and I'm going to be happy doing that…"

Jamie traced his hand over her lips and sealed their words with a kiss. "I'm the luckiest man in the world. Come on, let's get you up and downstairs, I smell bacon…We can let Dad know the news before we leave."

Eddie pulled back and arched her eyebrow, "Uh uh, Mr. Reagan, where do you think you're going?"

"Eddie," Jamie said as if she was nuts. "My Dad and kids are downstairs and there's bacon…"

"Bacon can wait," Eddie replied. "We still need to talk about Dr. Lambchop…"

Jamie fell back on the bed, giving it a slight bounce and groaned, he knew he wasn't going to get out of that one…

Jamie helped Eddie downstairs, he kissed the side of her head and whispered, "Tomorrow night, after the kids are done being stuck on us, we will go to dinner, but tonight…I missed our intimacy so much. I missed that and tonight…"

Eddie smiled, 'I couldn't ask for anything more."

"Mommom!" Max got off his chair and ran to Eddie. "Look it…" He held his hands up and showed her the bacon. "I cook…"

"I cook too," April slid off her seat and went to her parents. "I be cook…" Eddie's heart soared at this. Her little ones wanted to cook together and spend time with her, not being focused on being a doctor or a cop or anything but her children for the time being and she would be their mommy. "You want to…maybe you guys and Mommy can both learn to cook together huh? Would you like that?"

The children were excited and quickly went back to helping prepare mommy's breakfast. Jamie stepped up to help Frank while Eddie listened to the children chatting. "Sit down," Frank urged. "Sit down, it's on me. It's all on me."

Jamie smiled, he loved that his father was helping them and supporting them. When the pancakes were served Jamie cut them for Eddie as well as April and Max. Eddie took a deep breath, "Frank, I'll give my official notice tomorrow, but I want to just let you know now as my father-in-law, I'm going to be leaving the NYPD. I want to be a wife and a mother, take the kids to Mommy and Me cooking, take Max to his lessons, bake cookies and all the things that Mommy's do. That's what I need and want to do and Jamie is behind me on this."

Frank smiled, "You are a wonderful mother and I think, while we'll miss one of the best SVU detectives we have, that you are making the right choice for you. Your face just lit up when you said that, I'm behind you too, we all will be."

Jamie smiled at Eddie and the children, "You guys here that, Mommy is going to be home with you guys now. Isn't that great!"

Max gave a shy smile "Go to music, play with me piano?" Max asked.

"Yes, I can sometimes play and I'll always listen to you play," Eddie replied smiling at Jamie. April smiled and threw her arms up in the air, she summarized the entire family's sentiment announcing at the top of her lungs, "Yay!"

At home, Eddie enjoyed spending time with the kids cuddling her babies until bedtime. "Mommom sing April and Max please." Max looked up with rounded, pleading blue eyes.

"Okay, Daddy will carry you afterwards," Eddie smiled. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Night night song," Max requested reaching two hands up wanting to be carried. April the big girl walked by herself to the bedroom.

Jamie carried Max, Eddie couldn't carry the kids for at least a week. She sat in Max's bed and held both children gently singing. The kids cuddled against her close laying their heads on Eddie's lap listening to her sweet, soothing voice as they slowly fell asleep.

Jamie put the babies into bed, then went back to their bedroom and sat on the bed with Eddie. "They are sound asleep," Jamie smiled. "How's the wing?"

"Good, it's okay just uncomfortable," Eddie lay against Jamie's chest carefully turning her head to look up at him.

"I am so glad that you decided to stay home with the kids and with me," Jamie murmured with a soft smile. "I can't wait for you to be my wife."

Eddie nuzzled him, "I can't wait either Jamie to make it official." she moved her hand under his capturing it gently.

Jamie kissed her head and smiled, "and it's not just wanting to focus on the family we have now," Eddie told him "but I want to expand our family too, as soon as possible."

"You do huh? That'll be nice have to have another child. We should think about a bigger place too while we try for our growing family."

"I do," Eddie replied. "Did you have any time to think about that big house we saw? We could do it cash."

"I didn't but we should now. I think it's time to concentrate on our family. We should start trying soon..." Jamie said.

"I'll make an appointment with the doctor and stop my birth control. The wedding is in three months," Eddie smiled.

Jamie gently moved his arms around Eddie's waist kissing the side of her head. "Can't come fast enough, can't wait, I love you so much."

"Me too...and we almost lost it," Eddie replied. "My fault in that too. **Jamie, I am so sorry, I let things get this far and that I got so close to Guy. He was a nice man, but he's not you, honey…no one ever will be. I never want to be separated from you like that again. I never, ever want us to go so long being apart, even if we are living in the same house. I love you so much, and I am so sorry, Jamie. I want to spend tonight in your arms and every night after it. I want to grow old with you, raise our family and their family together. W** ith any luck we might bring a little passenger home from our honeymoon."

"Maybe or maybe sooner," Jamie whispered into her ear, brushing a piece of blond hair tucking it back so he could see her face, admire her beauty and thank God she was safe

"No, not sooner," Eddie told him. "I'd like us to be married first...but we can practice until then." I really need a shower. Sighing Jamie moved back helping her up watching Eddie the whole time.

"I'll need help" Eddie whispered. "I'm not supposed to move my arm."

"I'm right behind you," Jamie promised walking to follow Eddie into their bathroom.

Jamie turned the shower on and handed Eddie into the shower to help her clean up. He stripped down and helped Eddie get her arm out of the sling and the sleeve of her blouse. The hot spray was like a therapy, a languid washing away of the mistakes, the hurt feelings, and the pain of the last weeks. Jamie gently caressed Eddie's shoulder and held her to him under the spray, his hands roaming over her back. His lips found the bruises along her shoulder, he placed gentle kisses there.

Eddie held tight to Jamie, kissing his jawline, his chest, and cuddling up to him. The water felt good on the shoulder, as good as Jamie's kiss felt on her lips.

Jamie washed her hair, careful not to hurt her, taking his time with each lock of hair. When it was washed and conditioned, Jamie held Eddie's hand and helped out. Gently, he led her over to the bed and sat her down. He toweled off her hair, wrapping her glistening, naked body in a towel. He turned on the blow dryer, and combed the delicate long strands as he gently dried them. "I love your hair,' Jamie whispered. "I love touching you and hold you so close…I missed you in this bed and I'm so glad that you're home safe. I love you Eddie."

Eddie's eyes brimmed with tears as she laid back on the bed, "Welcome me, Jamie. Welcome me home."

Jamie captured Eddie's face between his hands, and gently laid a kiss in the center of her lips. Eddie's heart was singing when the kiss ended. She heard Jamie take a deep breath, as if he sought control. She found herself trembling wildly, expectantly. She was acutely aware of her nakedness as she moved her hands up from his taut stomach and over his chest. She heard his swift intake of air before he caught her up against him, careful of her injured arm. He took her mouth in a hard searching kiss that left both of them breathless.

Jamie paused to turn off the light. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, but the darkness seemed to enhance his sensitivity. Every quiet sigh, every movement told him what she was feeling. He could feel her body trembling in his arms, hearing her quiet murmurs of pleasure as she snuggled against him.

When he moved his hands to her breasts, he could feel their fullness, and the way her nipples tightened beneath his fingers. That quick, minute, instinctive response of her body made him groan with pleasure.

When Jamie traced his hand down her stomach, Eddie moved against him involuntarily, her body wanting more, seeking him involuntarily, her body wanting more, seeking some primitive fulfillment that she had never felt before. Yet knowing it existed.

She was burning up. Hot…tense. Needing something more. Trying to push herself closer and closer against him and yet unable to express to him what it was she wanted. It was unbearable and irresistible.

"Eddie," Jamie whispered. He moved closer, pulling her against him, cradling her shoulder, making sure that in their intensity he didn't hurt her. His mouth went to her neck, she shivered. She felt weak, unable to resist. The pleasure of his mouth and his hands was like a slow, insidious drug, seducing her until she thought she might actually scream from the sheer glory of it.

He could feel her body quivering beneath his. Her fragrance, her primal response to his kisses and his caress, drove him on against his better judgment. He knew, as a man knows, that what she wanted more than anything was him. Their lovemaking. Something they hadn't had for nearly a month.

He moved his hands lower, feeling the heat of her, feeling the ancient instinctive rhythm that urged him on. He pushed her hair out of the way, and touched her, a quiet little cry burst from her lungs as she moved against his hand.

The need to take her then and there was almost unbearable. Her hand clutched at his shoulders, as she arched against him, making desperate little noises against his neck. Her teeth bit at him, sought his mouth, urged him without words to make love to her.

Jamie gritted his teeth, resisting his own wants and using his hands and fingers to give her pleasure. She cried out at his explorations, moved wildly against him. She was pleading quietly now, desperately, her blond hair becoming a tangle as she thrashed back and forth against the bed, seeking fulfillment.

Jamie's instinct and need to bury himself in her was overwhelming. His body urged him to do it and have done with it once and for all. To finally release all the pent-up emotion that had existed between them the last month. But feeling the heat of her body and her nearness to release, he fought his own instincts.

"Jamie," she whispered her voice pleading…desperate. "Jamie!" she cried, clutching at him as her body shook with a wild, untamed favor. "Love me,' she whispered even as her frenzy began to recede. "Love me."

It was what he wanted, too. To make love to her, all he wanted. So he did.


	164. Chapter 164

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Four

Jamie took off for the next few days to help Eddie heal her arm and to heal their relationship. On their second day, was Carlos' graduation from the big brother program. It was important to Eddie that they stay in touch with the little boy. "Maxy," Eddie called to their son. "Come here with your tie so Mommom can put it on for you."

"No tie," Max whined. "Tie hurts!"

"Your tie doesn't hurt," Eddie scolded lightly. "Your tie looks nice on you, little man."

Max stomped his foot in frustration, but brought the tie to Eddie so she could put it on him. "There, my boy looks so handsome. Show me your big boy smile!"

Max flashed a grin that was remarkably like Jamie's even though he was not biologically a Reagan. April came out with her dress up over her head, "Mommy, I stuck." April had to do everything all by herself. Eddie laughed and helped her fix the little gingham dress she had chosen for her to wear. "There you go…"

April pouted, "Not funny. Mess my hair…"

Eddie fixed April's pigtails, "Yes, it was funny." She put a kiss on April's little head. "Laugh at yourself, honey. It's good for you."

April didn't like that and ran off to Jamie with her bottom lip sticking out.

The family arrived at the graduation about an hour early. Carols was with Mrs. Turner and Peter in the back. "Detective Eddie!"

She opened her arms to Carlos and caught him in her arms. "Hey, buddy. Congratulations, I'm so proud of you for graduating from Big Brothers!"

"I like it, little kids are fun if you play with them, but if not…" He beckoned Eddie so he could whisper in her ear, "They can get whiny and it's annoying."

Eddie laughed at Carlos' logic, "Yes they can, and it's so special you want to help little kids. You remember Max?"

Carlos smiled at the little boy, "Your tie is just like mine."

"My Mommom tie it," Max told Carlos and held to Eddie. He didn't remember playing with Carlos, he remembered Eddie not paying attention to him.

"Yeah, that's nice," Carlos smiled. "My Mom did too." He was beginning to look at Mrs. Turner as his mother. Eddie smiled, that was a great bond for a young boy to make so quickly. "This is Jamie, my fiancé and our daughter April."

April did a little curtsey and said as she was told, "Congratulations." Or something like that.

Carlos shook Jamie's hand and hugged Eddie once more before going to take his seat. At today's graduation, the Commissioner himself was making the speech, a true honor indeed.

Jamie and Eddie treated to dinner after the ceremony, including Mrs. Turner, Carlos, and Peter. Frank and his detail came as well enjoying the middle of the day opportunity with the family.

"So, Eddie," Frank spoke up. "I got it cleared with the CO for your part time and you are clear from duty after the wedding. You're only needed about 20 hours a week to transfer, so you can do that anyway you want to. Two ten hours days, five four hour days…"

Eddie looked at her babies and Jamie, "I think more days for less time is best. That way I'm not away too long from them." April was working on smashing a cracker to bits and Max was blowing bubbles in his milk, typical little kids and she loved them with all her heart. This was the right choice…this was her job now, a wife and a mother…and she couldn't want anything more.

Eddie curled up to Jamie after putting the children to bed. She smiled, "So... what do you think of taking a weekend off to go to Montana to plan for the wedding? We can take the kids, and maybe see if Kara and Luke want to bring the boys out. What do you say?"

Smiling, snaking his arms around Eddie, Jamie nodded. "Think that's a great idea and I bet Kara and Luke will too. I'll put in for a vacation the kids will love it."

"Good, we need to get things rolling, it's nearly ten weeks away."

"We can stay at the chalet, it has so many memories." Jamie said softly.

"Yes, so many wonderful memories. The kids can play, it'll be so much fun," Eddie replied. "Can you get my arm on the pillow and pass me my phone? I should ask Kara now, we need to go in the next week or so."

Jamie settled Eddie's arm on the pillow, then passed the her the phone. He laid back watching as she spoke to Kara about their plans, smiling.

It was settled, Kara and Luke and their kids, Jamie, Eddie and theirs would head off the following Thursday for Montana. Eddie was so excited, they missed their special place.

Jamie agreed to let the department know when he went back and called up the chalet for room reservations.

"Kara and Luke had a clever idea," Eddie told Jamie later that week as she was packing her bags to go. "They suggested they keep Max and April two of the nights and we keep Jake and Alex two of the nights that way the kids and the adults get time to play."

"Yeah that could work, we all get some playtime that way," Jamie agreed sifting carefully through his clothes picking both casual nightwear clothing for later.

Eddie snuggled up to Jamie and gave him a hug and kiss, "This is going to be fun. It's been too long. Montana is our healing place. We need to talk to Max and April about the plane."

"I know we should do that now to prepare them. I can't wait Eddie, it's where everything started with us, where we 'reconnected."

"And where we'll join our lives forever..." She closed her eyes and kissed Jamie deeply. His arms came around her and cuddled to him tight. She missed this so much, she couldn't get enough of their closeness.

"Hmmm yes we will..." Jamie slowly slipped his arms around eddie's small frame leaving them over her back side moving his lips against hers gently and slowly.

A childish giggle stopped their kissing, April was standing in the doorway with her bear smiling at them, "Mommy, go pee pee."

"Okay honey good job telling me come on," Eddie sighed and laughed taking their daughter to the bathroom.

"When you two are done, family meeting!" Jamie called out. "Living room!"

Eddie took April while Jamie searched for max finding him playing with some toys in his room. "Hey buddy Mommom and I have to tell you and April something okay?"

Max got up and went to the living room and sat down, "Mommy going to work?" April asked.

"No," Jamie smiled. "Mommy only works a few hours a day right now, you remember that. No, tomorrow, we are all going to go on a trip, you and Daddy and Maxy and Mommom…We're going to Montana with Aunt Kara and Uncle Luke and the boys on a big airplane!"

April had traveled on planes before and she smiled, but Max's eyes went wide. "It's okay, Max," Eddie assured him. "You'll be with Mommom and Daddy, you'll be fine, I promise. Don't be scared."

Max nodded but Eddie could see apprehension in his face. She agreed to take a commercial flight this time, though it cost quite a bit to book with such late notice. They booked two chalets next door to each other, they were going to have the time of their lives preparing for the rest of their lives, joined together, finally as one.

 **A/N – Thank you so much for the many views, reviews, and favorites. We are both surprised an honored that our first story as a team reached over 7,000 reviews. It's because of the loyalty of our fans that we achieved that honor. It's always so difficult to end a story, especially one that has touched us so deeply as authors and friends, but all good things must come to an end.**

 **This end, however, is a new beginning. Starting Saturday, we'll be debuting our third story, the second in the Montana series, Marry Me in Montana which will focus on Jamko's wedding plans, wedding day, and honeymoon. We can't wait and we hope you will all meet us there. - Nancy and Kristen**


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